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JarwhalMint

He’s over COVID and he wants to have things switch back to a full house with everyone clamoring for scraps of his attention. He doesn’t have the emotional skills to do any work to repair fractured relationships. Janelle is his mom, carefully trying to nudge him into decision-making/clarification/action, but he wants immediate obedience. I know people want Janelle to be more assertive, but you can’t do that with a narcissist. The second she does that the whole narrative becomes how she is emotional and unreasonable and frightened/upset someone. He’s always been the center of everything in the family and now he’s on the periph.


bvonboom

You've got it - and this is why you always hear her say to him "I know it's illogical or irrational" whenever she's trying to voice concerns because she has to turn it back on herself like it's her issue and not his, otherwise he blows up or she ends up in "the hot seat" with Kody holding court and looking for everyone else to turn against her or whatever person he's directed his ire at. The OG3 wives were all young when they married him and I was in a similar situation with my sister where you're just way too close to the situation/person where you don't even see yourself getting manipulated, and you're walking on eggshells and don't even realize it. The whole COVID issue just brought everything to the forefront, created a distance, and gave Christine and Janelle more space from him to open their eyes. I bet all that time away from him made them realize how nice it was without all the stress that he brings. I remember Christine saying in Vegas that when Kody came over he just made everything stressful and basically uprooted the house. People like that are agents of chaos and their mere presence creates stress and havoc even when they're just sitting there because you don't know what will set them off, especially when they're not the center of someone's attention.


Lydia--charming

YES I hate how she always feels she has to qualify what she really thinks as illogical or irrational.


bvonboom

Exactly! Makes me sad for her that she feels she doesn't have a right to be upset or else she's being an "emotional woman".


hydraho7

I wonder if it is easier for her to say her thoughts are illogical than it is to say the man she married is illogical.


loonytick75

I suspect she’s been doing it for so long that she doesn’t even realize how much she bends over backwards anymore. I think there are years of learned behavior for managing him that she’s incorporated so fully that peeling it back would take a ton of intentional effort. I get why a lot of people on this sub are frustrated with her, but you don’t just undo those habits in an instant. Janelle is in the place now where Christine was when the one big house conversation happened, and see how long it took Christine to graduate to being able to truly address things head on without massaging Kody or backing down out of self-protection? It’s going to take Janelle some time, too, assuming she doesn’t either quiet quit/ghost the marriage or pull a Meri and turn into a repentant shelved wife.


Mary4278

Is this ever true!I don’t know exactly what is maybe just experience and maturity,but as you age there is a point that you just want some peace,minimal stress and no drama! I don’t want any drama at work or home.Kody is just a heap load of drama and frankly more trouble than he is worth.He brings no sound solutions to the problems he mainly creates.


INFJAnnie

Refusing to argue with a narcissist is about protecting YOUR peace. It’s not to spare him.


suzanneov

He’s the Whitney Way Thore of this show.


Fantastic-Ad1319

How's that show going? Should i return to it?


suzanneov

It’s the same train wreck it has always been. However, next season will reveal a love child of Glen’s. I’m not even kidding.


Fantastic-Ad1319

love child?? All right, i might sneak over there and see what's up lol


RWFTW

Wait what??? Really??? I need to deep dive on this. I still watch the BFF Life but do not look at any spoilers or gossip. This sounds wild!


suzanneov

I know. I heard it and was like, yep, tuning in next season. 🙄🤷‍♀️😉😂 Apparently Glen was married(?) or had a lover in Vietnam (way before Bab’s), had a kid and knew it but this wasn’t shared with his kids. (I don’t remember if Bab’s knew about the kid who’s likely in their 50’s now). It’s really going to be something because of you’ve watched, Whitney is all about being “in the know” about every facet of her parents lives. 🙄🙄🙄🙄 word is she’s VERY unhappy about this situation.


RWFTW

Wow!!! Ok these seems very believable given her parents are older for the age she is. And yes I agree that Whitney is really borderline obsessed with knowing everything about her parents. Watching her with Glen and Babs is a little unsettling (well before Babs’ stroke) because they are REALLY close. I love my mom and spending time with her but I look like a horrible daughter compared to Whitney. I guess I just cannot relate to the seemingly inseparable bond she has with them (especially Babs)🤷🏽‍♀️


suzanneov

Same. If I called my mom as often as she calls them, I’d be disowned. Seriously, give your parents a break!!


amethyst82

What?? Her parents seem big into keeping secrets. I remember Whitney being shocked that her mother was married to someone else prior to Glen.


RWFTW

Ok good point. This may be why she tries to stay in their business all the time lol. Glen and Babs LIVED before Whitney and Hunter lol.


MassiveAffect9

YOU ARE KIDDING!!!!??????!!!!


suzanneov

Nope. I was blown away. Blown away.


Own_Instance_357

If you want to watch a more serious show when it comes to traumatic weight gain and mental health (but definitely not blaming it on PCOS), I had a really crazy head time watching the last season of Jazz Jennings. Whitney's just treading water, imho, staying as mobile as she can as long as she can until there's nothing to film. Jazz wasn't major heavy until just a few years ago. It's like she got into Harvard and then went haywire. Jazz is headed for Whitney territory, if people can get her together to even have the energy again.


New_Discussion_6692

>I know people want Janelle to be more assertive, but you can’t do that with a narcissist All you can do is phrase everything as if it's for their benefit.


texas_forever_yall

Even then, it’s a matter of time before they devalue you anyway. I thought I knew how to navigate my narcissistic former boss, but I learned the hard way that if you think you can manage a narcissist, you’re on borrowed time, lol.


New_Discussion_6692

>it’s a matter of time before they devalue you anyway. I Of course. Yet if you phrase things because it's for their benefit, it de-escalates *the moment.* Getting away from a narcissist takes time and planning. In the meantime, you have to protect yourself.


Awkwardpanda75

This guy is truly my ex husband. I stayed home with our kids and babysat our nieces and nephews - I had upwards of 10 kids any day. We were the kid house. I also worked a second shift job every night. My ex wanted all the!daycare kids out before he got home; dinner on the table and kids out of his hair. Then if the kids were excited about something or just being kids; he’d get really passive aggressive. When I would ask him what was wrong; he’d blow up and us and we would run off crying. He always ended it with “you guys are so sensitive all the time”. No, you are a blowhard.


adjudicateu

Christine if she was there. ‘Yes Kody. You are wrong. Bye!’ robyn in little girl voice ‘what do you want us to comment on?’ Janelle ‘this is how you see your kids over the holidays dummy’ meri……utterly silent, thinking ‘Hawaii sounds good, just remembered I have a business meeting there at Christmas‘


SnooChickens2457

Right everyone talks mad shit about Meri but she’s not stressed, she’s spending a lot of time on beaches compared to everyone else


Zealousideal-Feed156

Meri literally just shows up to filming for a pay check. She never talks. Nobody talks to her except to coach her in what to say (Robyn). A mess.


FiguringMyselfOutt

Just her classic, "congratulations. you're leaving the family." and "I can only imagine how Kody is feeling."


Vardagar

Even robyn was not able to offer him support for once 😂 Kody: "this is my house, they can come here if they want to see me....they are not welcome in my house....i will not go to a neutral zone to meet them." Hmm so thats it, cut him out!


texas_forever_yall

This should have been a massive red flag for Janelle. Robyn’s house is his house, but if he was truly still invested in his marriage to Janelle then her house (or vacation rental) would not be “neutral territory”, it would also be his house.


strawberryblond_cake

Janelle has rented a vacation home, in Kody’s town, large enough for Christine’s kids to join hers, and has invited Kody to join his kids. Kody responds with instant anger (that isn’t the right answer!), he wants the kids to come crawling up his hill, kiss his feet, apologize to his headwife, if they want to see him. They must come to him, he refuses to “lower”himself and join them.


FiguringMyselfOutt

haha. they will be as welcomed as truly was.


jKATT13

Welcome to shovel snow outside of the driveway.


Purrks

Robyn is Kody's emotional support animal, so that's saying a lot.


RedDeer30

Meri's wall status: all the fucking way up


merightno

Mary has been burned so many times from talking She is just sitting there doing everything she can to keep her mouth shut and her face blank so it can't be used against her. Nobody is getting her to talk in these gatherings no matter what. Please note that this is the second time that Cody has tried to elicit a word out of her and she has declined to participate both times. I think she's there cuz she contractually has to be and the crew has asked Cody to do everything he can to get her to actually participate but it's not working.


adjudicateu

At least she didn’t start giggling like a 12 year old.


RuNigerianBaby

That was so cringe. I was embarrassed for her.


bvonboom

Yeah Meri learned a long time ago to just sit back and let everyone else hang themselves for having an opinion that differs from the Kotex


AlphaCharlieUno

She has so much as admitted that she doesn’t say anything until the majority has “won” then she just agrees with them. She said it in one of the episodes about the One House.


GuineaPanda

I don't get why he is upset they couldn't fit the family in the clutter castle anyways


Ovensbeforetoasters

Plus, what Janelle is saying makes sense and Kody is struggling to find a way to make this a problem. 1) You said the boys weren’t welcome until they apologize- boys decide to not apologize so won’t be there 2) Janelle lives in a trailer and has no room for holiday gatherings- rents a vacation home for a few days so Kody can gather with Ysabel and Truely for the holidays But…But….YOU’RE WRONG! YOU HAVE WRONGED ME!! Somebody jump in to find a way for Janelle’s solutions to not work and make her/the kids the problem!!


HarlowsMama

But that is HIS HOUSE (with Robyn) he’s not having Christmas at a neutral location, even if it means spending time with all his kids. Janelles home isn’t his home, meris home isn’t his home, his home is with Robyn and he wonders why his boys are mad at him.


Disastrous-Lynx546

It’s because Christine is organizing it. Just like she did most of their holidays. Embarrassing Robyn once again 😂😂😂. So of course he has to make this situation bad or wrong or a betrayal


Vardagar

I didnt get from this preview, was the plan that christine would be there too? Like to celebrate together? Or would she leave for some time to let him spend time with the kids without her 🤔


HarlowsMama

I don’t think Christine would be there when he’d go, but ysabel would be there with Truley I think I heard. Either way, he doesn’t want to leave his mansion with Robyn to spend time with his old family.


cblackattack1

Yes it sounded like they rented a house for the holidays so christine could come with Truely and ysabel and they can spend Christmas with janelle and her boys.


AlphaCharlieUno

Janelle said Christine, Truly, and Ysabel were coming and Christine got the rental because Janelle doesn’t have the space. At least that’s how I took it.


822_1

I love it! She and Janelle are too quick for those idiots. Now. if only Meri would chime in with..I'll bring the turkey!


AlphaCharlieUno

Yet we’ve seen them spend Christmas at a rental before! So it works for him when it’s his decision.


Ovensbeforetoasters

Maybe if he talked to them…he would actually find out reasons they’re upset. This is ultimately why Kody will not reach out to them. If he interacts with them, he can no longer do the song and dance he has been. Relying on his victimhood and ego keeps him going with being wronged. I’m going to go off on a tangent here…but I have been in this group for awhile now and feel comfortable sharing… I joined this group looking for “my people” who would want to deep dive this show because I have found it so fascinating and honestly love personality analysis. In turn it has given me my own “therapy” sessions so to speak as I read through others comments and interpretations of events and behaviors. I will not label anyone in my life a narcissist as I do not have the knowledge or degree for fair assessment…but I will say that I have encountered and still have in my life many people will manipulative and victimhood behaviors. This sub has given helpful tips and the women on the show helpful tactics in learning to express myself and not fall victim myself to the mistreatment. You all have been so helpful. ❤️


WINTERSONG1111

I am learning a great deal from Christine's behaviours from the show as well. I am learning to stay calm during encounters with difficult people, to not engage.


Maximum-Mastodon3344

Christine is the face of “Grace”. When I’m upset nowadays I try to woo-saw think of how would Christine get through it. I’ve always been super embarrassed because like Christine, I too get that flushed look on my face & neck when stressed & sometimes it’s so red 😔.


NaughtyLittleDogs

Yes. Kody dumps all of the responsibility for healing his relationship with her kids onto her head. And I'm over here wondering why HE can't just call them and say "Hey, we clearly have a problem and I'd like to work this out with you guys..." They're all adults, Kody, and they are your kids too. Why does Janelle have to be the intermediary in your dispute? If Janelle hasn't correctly represented your position, then CALL THEM YOURSELF and explain what you want. But its just easier to blame his wives for his broken relationships with all of the kids except for Robyn's and rage about it while he throws wood into a fire and angrily tosses his noodle hair out of his face.


tamcs44

He can’t just call them because that’s to rational….lol


Vardagar

Right!! Oh she could have said this! "Please call them now, i will not mediate between you and our boys. Just talk to them youself!!!"


Idonotwantaname1

So glad!!! I think I have learned a lot also. I now grey rock my MIL all the time!🤣


Ovensbeforetoasters

Sooo perfect. Hahaha. I’m currently doing work with my extended family by not engaging and meanwhile they’re painting a pretty picture about how I’m a big bad meanie and even projecting this onto their children which in turn is affecting my children and the cousin relationships. It’s been our first holiday season entirely alone as a family (meaning just my personal family) and although I utterly miss our huge gatherings where we played games and ate buffet style breakfast, it’s been immensely calming with no drama, guilt, deep rooted unresolved conflict and it’s been refreshing. Virtual hugs to you. ❤️


HarlowsMama

This has been going on with my in laws since the birth of my daughter nearly four years ago. They have painted a picture to the whole family that I’m evil, but it’s them who haven’t actively tried to have a relationship with us or our daughter. You can only do what’s best for you and your family.


iamelphaba

This is what bothered me most. He said his home was with Robyn and called anything else “a neutral location”. If that doesn’t prove Gabe right, I don’t know what does.


822_1

Great catch! He's always telling on himself.


__Quill__

For real if Janelle is in an apartment..where is she going to fit all those kids? So she rents an Air BnB or whatever, which they have done before, and thats not good enough. Someone should fucking spray Kody with a water bottle every time he says the word Betrayal. No Kody! Bad! Stop ruining your own family. \*sptritz spritz\*


FloridaLantana

Squeeze a lemon in the water.


cblackattack1

Hell, squeeze a plate of 10 in there.


captain_backfire_

I’d pay to see the water bottle lol


GuineaPanda

I’d buy the water bottle


RedDeer30

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Zealousideal-Feed156

Literally couldn’t understand why Kody is upset and why he is yelling about ITS HIS HOUSE. Like right bud you and Robyn live there but Janelle and her kids don’t. Neutral is a fantastic compromise!


texas_forever_yall

Because used to, everyone gathered at HIS home, and put on a big show with him at the center of the family. It was HIS family following his wishes. In this new scenario, it is clear that it is now Janelle and Christine’s family. And Kody and Robyn have been invited to attend like distant relatives. He is SEETHING.


RoslynLighthouse

Christine took away his control. Widdle Kody isn't taking it well.


cpdena

As if he and Robyn would host anyway!


Nahcotta

Does he mean he’s upset because people won’t come to “his” house?? I was confused also. Having a meet & greet at a neutral space seems like a good solution


BrightEngineer537

Yep it’s not about the “neutral location”, he’s mad that his plan failed. He thought saying they couldn’t come over would put the blame on them for not spending time together for Xmas. But now that they’ve come up with a (very reasonable) alternative, he’s scrambling for another reason it’s their fault when he doesn’t go


Vardagar

Yes thats it! He really wants to not see his kids for christmas unless they beg his forgiveness!! He has lost it! Even if they did say "please forgive us, you have done nothing wrong" he would still only allow them an hour or so outside the house. I bet they would not be welcome to stay in his house 😑


hydraho7

Kody, about the AirBnB: “See! I told you rentuls were available!” Edit: rentuls


Ovensbeforetoasters

And magically weren’t available when Robyn prayed daily to have one open for them so they didn’t have to purchase the chateau on a hill with acreage. 🤣


ParticularEmploy1137

Adjacent to the lots they had their eye on. GTFO, Robyn!


cblackattack1

Edit: rennuls


SnooGiraffes3591

Yep and we all heard him say the boys weren't welcome unless they apologize, but he's there saying Janelle probably told them that and pit them against him.


HalfAliveMostlyDead

He's upset because he's lost control again. He wanted those boys to come groveling and sniffling back on bended knee to beg him, King Kody, to please let them spend Christmas with him and Queen Sobyn. Thankfully those boys are smart, saw right through his bullshit, rightfully refuse to apologize and have made alternative Christmas plans without him. Kody is pissed because he didn't want them to celebrate Christmas with the family AT ALL if they didn't go through him first. He's such a raging narcissistic asshole.


tealparadise

Exactly. I understand why he's upset, it's just so juvenile. He keeps trying to force family cohesiveness under a patriarchal format. And after getting NOTHING from him for 3 years, the adult kids and OG wives have no reason to fall in line with that. You don't get to run everything JUST because you have a penis. Even the patriarchal system depends on the man meeting his responsibilities in order to keep his place. Like yes if I'm in a monogamous marriage and we have kids, and they are in a fight with my husband... I'm going to try and force a conversation and reconciliation. I'm not going to rent another house and go have Xmas with my kids separately, because it does reinforce the separation. But the issue is ... If the disagreements were the type Kody and his kids are having.... I would have divorced his ass. Janelle is BARELY hanging in there. There's no way to ask her to put more into mending, when Kody has so thoroughly broken the relationships. He's completely abandoned his responsibility and still asks the wives to act like he's an alpha male provider who handles everything for them.


AlphaCharlieUno

I kind of think Robyn was silent for once because Kody said he wants everyone at “his” house for Christina’s and she’s like “I don’t want anyone else at my house!”


theimperfexionist

The clutter castle! Perfect!


Vardagar

Right!! There is no way kody could fit his visiting 3-4 kids in his and robyns house!!! The problem isnt the house, it could definitely be arranged to have them over a few days. Problem is he and Robyn has no motivatation to do the work required. Clearing up, moving her kids together in rooms to create guest rooms. Getting extra beds, cooking extra food. They would not do the work!


cblackattack1

They won’t even clean up to have Truely stay over. Pathetic.


texas_forever_yall

Right? Robyn didn’t chime in because she doesn’t want to have to clean for company, lol.


cblackattack1

And she doesn’t wanna see “those boys” as much as they don’t wanna see her. Get over it kody.


AnUnhappyAlternative

clutter castle 🤣 Poor She-Ra. Her Crystal Castle has become a Clutter Castle.


Rissa-8-2-1

So why does all his interaction with the boys have to be through Janelle? Your upset that she isn’t going back to the boys to say they don’t have to apologize. Why don’t you pick up the phone, call your boys, explain the miscommunication (even though it really wasn’t), and extend an offer for your sons to come see you? Oh wait - you don’t really want to see them and you do really want the apology. 🤨


em57863

Great point. He expects the wives to facilitate all communication. He is fully capable of picking up the phone and calling on his own but apparently that is too much to ask.


SnooGiraffes3591

To be fair, they probably wouldn't answer if he called. Would you?


Narrow-Mud-3540

Yep. We saw this earlier this season that Christine had clearly been going to great lengths to facilitate interaction and relationship between Cody and her kids to try to hide from them how little he cared and protect them from the hurt of being ignored by him. But for the first time we see her refuse to bend over backwards coordinating a chance for kody and Isabel to interact and just tells him and her that if they want to see each other they need to plan it between the two of them. Kody made it out that Christine was being difficult of course. And it probably was hard for her but she’s clearly realized that hiding who their father is and how little he cares about them won’t protect them forever. It’s in their best interest to know who he really is.


MissBitchyPants

This is a father who has broken the relationship with his children so badly that him picking up the phone to call them is no longer an option. He's pathetic.


Low-Hope6485

This! Everything would have been ok and resolved if the adults stop viewing the kids as little children. Majority of the kids are adults who have a mind of their own now. Start involving them in conversations then there wouldn’t be any miscommunication playing telephone.


vixleonard

It's the same crap he pulled in the previous season when he was stripping logs with Gabe and Garrison and he told them to call all of their siblings and get the Covid bitching out of the way before coming to Christmas bc he didn't want to discuss it or the rules. Kody doesn't want to have any difficult conversations, especially if people are pushing back.


FloridaLantana

Plus, they may have blocked him. He'd have to use someone else's phone, LOL.


Helpful_Fan_3110

I think this is just how he wants the power structure in his family to work. The king tells his lords what he wants from his serfs and the lords make it happen


[deleted]

[удалено]


LorAsh288

Yes!! I’m so glad someone said this about Meri. Kody doesn’t consider himself married to her, rarely acknowledges her existence, but NOW he needs her backup? FOH


Dipple11

Yeah, Robyn will supply him with a rebuttal to Janelle behind closed doors. She must act like the meek victim in front of Janelle, Meri, and the cameras. Edit: added missing word


FloridaLantana

Kidney wants Gabe and Gerrison to say "Dad, I was so WRONG", then pledge fealty like some kind of medieval land tenant. Edited to add, he also wants them to apologize to poor little Sobyn, 'cause they were so mean to her.


adjudicateu

THIS IS MY HOUSE. BTW made possible by Janelle and Meri. Also they don’t have room in the doll hoard for the whole family!


wandernwade

He’s admitting, really, that he only claims one home.. and (at this point) one wife.


822_1

Then they need to pay Janelle and Meri back. And as baby mommas..Janelle and Christine need to go for back child support.


Stormcaster06

Oh, he’s big mad because despite his lies, he wanted that apology and concession from Janelle’s kids. He’s been ignoring them as punishment for daring to call him out. Instead of giving in, they’ve decided to get together with the rest of the family on “neutral ground” where everyone is welcome. He can’t force that apology in this scenario. Even worse, if he doesn’t compromise and go, he will spend another holiday alone with Robyn’s kids while the rest of the family is having fun and partying it up without him. He’s been outplayed and he’s seething.


bistromike76

Think of all the money Meri will save on making pajamas


garbagetv13

You are 100 percent correct!!!


halomalo58

You have it there , he's been outplayed and he can't even understand it , he's mad but doesn't know why 😂 I'm so happy to see this video and Janelle has her own rental for Xmas and her own plans with the kids , he really is being left in the dust !


Idonotwantaname1

Great analysis. And they played this perfectly. Bravo 👏 👏 👏


Trishlovesdolphins

That’s exactly what he’s doing. He’s trying to throw Janelle to the wolves, he thinks he’s alpha and he can just sic the other 2 on any target he wants. At least for their part, Meri and Robyn seem to be staying out of that particular attack, at least from what we see here.


Zealousideal-Feed156

Robyn I think is getting concerned about Kody’s behavior. Janelle might leave too if he keeps acting that way. Robyn is watching their family income slip away every time Kody acts like that. Meri probably doesn’t give a fuck about any of this as long as she can see Ari and Sol and is rightfully keeping out of it.


texas_forever_yall

Hard to sympathize with Robyn when probably 90% of the issues being discussed here are the result of her whispering in Kody’s ear behind closed doors. It’s like in game of thrones when Cersei tries to weaponize the High Sparrow and he then becomes uncontrollable?


cblackattack1

“I didn’t know kody was going to tell the boys to apologize to me! I didn’t tell him to do that” Lolol k.


captain_backfire_

I think they are only staying out of it because they know Janelle won’t play. She’ll leave too. If this was before Christine left I think Robyn would be happy to jump all in like she did on Christine, but they know it won’t work now. People have and will leave. ✌🏻


MassiveAffect9

We are watching the reality show depiction of F around and find out.


dianna1976

His flying monkeys


SnooGiraffes3591

I think they were all for it with Christine, but now he has changed focus and is treating Janelle EXACTLY like he did Christine. Using the same accusations and everything. They aren't stupid. If they go after her and run her off they know what happens next. He changes focus again...


Weary-Tea1234

Yeah what's the problem? He's upset that they are staying with Christine? Ah it's about choosing Christine's side. Well they could just all go to Utah!


Inevitable_Sweet_988

If Kody had a choice of Janelle being alone for Christmas or spending it with her and Christine’s kids, he’d rather her be alone. To him that’s how she would show loyalty.


texas_forever_yall

Meri does it every year, and there’s no reward. Kody demands loyalty but won’t give any back.


Respectta

I'm trying to figure it out too. Is he mad that there's a vacation rental janelle and Christine and their kids will share? Having a hard time tracking what the issue is here or even what's going on.


halomalo58

So I think Janelle has rented a house where she will spend Christmas with her boys , and has invited Christine to come stay for a few days after . He is mad that he had no say in the arrangements. He doesn't want Christine to come to Flagstaff and spend time with the boys or rest of the family but he would like to see the kids. He doesn't want to have to go to Janelle's rental to see the kids , he only wants people to flock to visit him in the Mc Mansion. He thought he would have some power over the plans for Xmas because he is the only one with a big house , except Meri who hardly counts anymore. And now he's mad that Janelle is making her own plans. And Robyn has nothing to say because she doesn't really want everyone coming to her house anyway !!!


p1zzarena

He wants the boys to come groveling back and apologize. When they said "no thanks, we'll go elsewhere" he was offended and thought Janelle should force them.


halomalo58

He's definitely using this as more ammunition for his argument that Janelle doesn't respect/support him , as she has said herself - she cannot make her adult children do anything 🤷


Signal-Review8350

Kody is so paranoid. He's convinced everyone in the family is against him for no reason. He also has a persecution fetish and he's completely detached from his own emotions. What a wreck this guy is.


WiseWoman54

He’s projecting. Every single thing he accuses someone of is something he is doing. That’s how people like him work.


LorAsh288

Oooh, this is an interesting point. I wonder if he had the same persecution fetish, as you put, when he uprooted his entire family to move to Vegas.


Diligent_Brick_5023

Interesting he jumped to attacking over Christine coming back before he knew the specifics. The fact he sees Janelle even talking to Christine is a betrayal is so telling.


drieduptears

Ok so we know Janelle spent Thanksgiving with Maddie and we also know all her boys were home with her and Savannah around Christmas so does this mean that Janelle's brood spent Christmas with Christine's brood? It sounds like it's not just Gabe and Garrison that Kody is talking about, did he have issues with Hunter and Logan too? I'm really confused by this and can't wait for this convo.


Diligent_Brick_5023

Both Janelle and Christine family posed on the same porch.. likely of the rental they used..


spunkiemom

He’s mad because no one needs him or his house to have a big reunion holiday with their family.


MaquiavelikGirl

This clip is so hilarious. How Janelle is playing him, speaking softly and using logic. He does not know what to respond or do to logical reasoning because his EGO does not understand logical and reasonable thinking. OMG, he's looking for some help but he receives NOTHING from Robyn and Meri. I think that Robyn does not want a fight with Janelle because she knows Janelle could leave, she knows Janelle is close to that option and also you don't mess with Janelle, she's logic and calm but very strong and firm, and Robyn own her money from the house so...And Meri is just being Meri, not taking any risk whatsoever. And also when Kody says: OF COURSE I WANT TO SEE THE KIDS, it's obvious that is pure BS. He care more about his ego than love for his children.


DisastrousHyena3534

Robbin' knows she can't take on Janelle directly. She is outskilled & outsmarted.


halomalo58

Definitely she can't outsmart Janelle , but I also think that she doesn't actually want everyone coming to her house, she's not offering to host Xmas for everyone 🤷 what about that big famihily she always wanted ??? I can see her tiny mind ticking over , she can't think of a good argument here where she will win where Cody can see the kids without her having to host ... so she stays quiet 😂


MaquiavelikGirl

She will outsmart Janelle but not in front of her


Vardagar

I wish meri would speak up and say what she really thinks. She must have soooo much anger and disappointment for kody that she bottles up.


cblackattack1

ESPECIALLY seeing him so worked up over Christine and the kids, but literally never gave an eff about meri once he put the nail in the coffin. I bet she’s seething!


FlyingFig20

I think he's mad because plans were made - a very logical plan, but he wasn't consulted, and he knows that robyn will refuse to go to a neutral location. She wants to be on her own turf, so she will sit quietly and later tell Kody her "young children" need to be in their house @ Christmas. Meri doesn't want to go to anything that isn't at Robyns house. Kody wants he and robyn to decide which kids will be allowed to participate in Christmas. And yes, he's repeatedly told Janelle the boys need to apologize. He has never said it to them directly, but he's relied on Janelle to deliver the message. Now he berates her for tell the boys they have to apologize. This guy is one sick ticket.


halomalo58

Yep this is exactly what I thought too , he's sick over it , hes loosing all control and he can't handle it. Robyn doesn't want the others at her house and she definitely won't want to go to Janelle's rental. The two real mothers of this family went ahead and organized a Christmas that could include everyone especially the kids but now Cody is mad because it doesn't suit his agenda - of being the head of the family ! (and the victim)


garbagetv13

100 percent correct!


sweetquarantine

Yes dude, you’re wrong. About everything.


LorAsh288

For someone who doesn’t want a divorce on his record, I’m so pleased to see that he’s doing everything possible to hold on to his remaining marriages. /s


Idonotwantaname1

This is such a great clip because it shows that kody does not know his thoughts on a situation until Robyn tells him what he thinks. There's a part in last seasons tell all when he says he "went years not knowing he was being mistreated by his wives "... that's because Robyn started telling him how mistreated he was... And he bought it... hook line and sinker. Now he wants Robyn to go up against Janelle to help make his case... and I think she's scared of a pissed off Janelle. 🤣


Any_Willingness_9085

She should be scared, Janelle would eat her up and spit her out.


Vardagar

Its almost like Robyn is a cult leader and kody is the cult member. I always thought he has the personality of a cult member, just waiting to be told what to think.


whatintheworld45r

Summary: Kody tells Janelle he won't see her boys for Christmas in his home until they apologize to him and Robyn. Unfortunately for him, the family now has an opportunity to get together somewhere other than his home. He backpedals on the apology (interesting, maybe the boys weren't as harsh as he says) yet is still trying to defend not wanting to be around the boys. Can't come up with anything, so puts it on Meri and Robyn.


oldhopes

Everything he accuses Janelle of is his tactics- doubling down on something bc he can’t back out of what he said, pitting people against others. Everything he’s so paranoid of others doing is the shit that he does. Its the “game” he plays and he’s so paranoid that someone will play it on him.


Chula60050

“This is my home”. If this is what the audience can clearly see, imagine what the wives and children, who lived it, saw. He’s truly delusional.


Disastrous-Lynx546

How is literally everything a betrayal? Basically he’s saying that because Christine left HIM that she should be dead to the family or else it’s betrayal to him.


cblackattack1

Spot on. And doesn’t he say something like “I was worried this would happen”? Did he think christine would just evaporate and not be involved in her childrens lives? God he is fucking dense.


Any_Willingness_9085

He thought he had the boys backed into a corner - apologise or you can't come for Christmas. Janelle and Christine said fuck about and find out. Now he has nothing. No power, no more moves to make. Checkmate.


keburke33

Yes, you are wrong about everything. But will you accept hearing that from anyone? Absolutely not.


AmazingArugula4441

Man this is hard to watch. When they initially showed the clip of him asking for backup in the preview I assumed it was about COVID not about Janelle being a monstrous traitor. It's clear that he is aware many of his relationships are falling apart and is blaming everyone else and expecting them to change to accommodate him rather than self-reflecting and growing. It's also clear that he's deeply embedded in the man-o-sphere and all that Q adjacent BS. He's so good at creating a no-win situation. If he doesn't like what Janelle is saying to the boys he can talk to them directly and leave her out of it. I'd love to see him explain what he meant by "make amends" and how it didn't include an apology in his mind. I hope Janelle gets a good therapist who can help with boundaries and that she borrows that Walking on Eggshells book from Christine. Most of all I hope she has left.


Whistleblower793

What are they arguing over exactly? I *think* Janelle & Christine might’ve rented an Airbnb and are going to spend Christmas together there and then visit Kody after Christmas??? I can’t tell what’s going on here 🤷‍♀️


Inevitable_Sweet_988

I think so? And if you look back, this family has often rented a house during the holidays so the family has room to all be together. It’s not unusual. I guess he’s mad because Christine will be there and not his precious Robyn. But what’s the alternative? Christine not come at all? Her kids for sure aren’t spending Christmas without her.


Ill_Psychology_7966

Let’s be honest, the real “family” here (and pretty much has been for the last 12 years) is Janelle and Christine and their 12 kids (and maybe Leon). Edit: And I say “maybe” Leon because when I posted I was continuing the thought of the last post and thinking about Christmas/holiday gatherings, and if given a choice, Leon would probably choose to spend Christmas with Meri vs. the Janelle/Christine group if a choice had to be made. I don’t think the Janelle/Christine group would exclude Leon (or Meri if she wanted to attend their festivities with Leon), but I doubt Meri would want to join that group versus the Kody/Robyn group for a holiday.


cblackattack1

Well Christine’s kids don’t even live in AZ anymore. So he’s pissed that christine is coming there to spend time with janelle and her kids. But he’s such a fucking asshole, that he doesn’t realize maybe Truely and Ysabel would want to see him…like 2 bridges that aren’t completely burned. He hates christine too much to realize he has children with her that *might* still want him in their lives.


Mom_wife_life

Why would Janelle want to celebrate Christmas with Kody/Robyn/Meri? Robyn had completely isolated her and her kids away from the rest of the family during Covid. She didn’t even try to do outdoor meetings or anything. She had Kody enforcing these ridiculous rules on the wives, which never did anything because he wasn’t gonna be around them no matter what. They all know Covid was an excuse for him to run off with Robyn. Christine was there the whole time, their families stayed united. Why wouldn’t she want to be with them? Janelle is probably like screw you, you neglected us for 9+ months to be with Robyn, now we’re not gonna run to your beck and call because you’ve all of a sudden decided to let us back into your presence.


MountainAdmirable808

The boys are old enough to choose the relationship they have with their father. They obviously don’t believe the reward for apologising is worth it. Getting angry with Janelle for trying to facilitate kody seeing ysabel and truely and getting the family together is ridiculous. Everything is a betrayal to him it’s exhausting to watch - can’t imagine living it!


CBC1345

He’s such a selfish prick. His ex is bringing his kids to him for the holidays and he’s somehow turned it into a betrayal. Bro, Christine is doing you a favor. She does not need to accommodate you like this.


Peent29

He has to dump Janelle before she dumps him! Not gonna have another surprise divorce.


Perfect-Item-230

Why can’t he pick up the phone and call his boys to hash it out if he doesn’t like how Janelle is communicating with them? Why are we acting like Janelle is the only one that can talk to them?


texas_forever_yall

Because he is emotionally immature. Simply disagreeing with him about the covid crap is an attack on his ego, it’s an insult to him, and the emotional damage must be repaired by them.


WINTERSONG1111

There seems to be a quite some time between the clips and the confessionals. The reason I believe this is due to Janelle's apparent weight loss. In Janelle's confessionals she is much more forthcoming and feisty. I think Janelle has left Kody because his fury over watching her current confessionals will make his head spin and Janelle now feels free in saying what she really thinks.


merightno

I'm loving Janelle staying actually. They are all having Christmas in the same town as Cody but not at his house. He can choose to come or not I guess. Huge f.u.!


EyesOpenedWide31

God I fucking hate this guy so much


pillowmountaineer

He said it himself that he doesn’t even know why he’s upset but he still wants his flying monkeys to attack Janelle with him regardless


hydraho7

I’m honestly baffled as to why he is upset. His house can’t accommodate a bedroom for Truely, but then he is mad when people make other sleeping arrangements? Also, I think his use of the term “neutral location” is telling. What exactly is wrong with neutral? Does he feel like he loses the upper hand if it isn’t at his house? Was he planning on dropping a geode on Christine’s head?


CowboyLikeMegan

This is Robyn disagreeing and being too demure and keep sweet to just say “Yes. You’re wrong. Your children want to be with their father and you’re not allowing it because you feel petty towards Christine”


CowboyLikeMegan

But I have to say, I busted out laughing when he asked them to chime in, the camera pans over and they’re both like: 😐😐


Vardagar

I think robyn is kind of relieved she doesnt need to host any of kodys kids in her house, so she kind of likes this solution. Thats why she doesnt support him 😅


FeeFiFooFunyon

He acts like it is the most crazy thing in the world the family is meeting in a neutral location after a divorce and major conflict between the children and Kody. He wants them to pay homage at his home. It is like dude you lost all the dad benefits when you stopped being a dad. The otter 13 kids exist with their shared moms…just without you because you chose not to show up


SnooGiraffes3591

So Janelle got a rental for the holidays last year, because KODY said the boys weren't welcome (we all heard it). He said they have to apologize and show respect, and we all know, and THEY know, that means grovel while he yells and don't stand up to him. They aren't gonna do that. So if Janelle doesn't have space for the boys in the apartment, and HE wouldn't make room for them to stay even if they were on good terms, WHY is getting a vacation rental such a knife in the kidneys? Seems like a perfect solution. Also, you catch that bit about this is MY HOUSE? I thought he "lived" where his wives lived? We know he never stays at Meris so has he just given up pretending he still lives with Janelle?


CousinDaeDae

I honestly cannot. Dude was literally ON CAMERA. Janelle said Maddie & Caleb were thinking of coming, gathering for Christmas in Flagstaff. Dude said nope he’s not gonna pretend things are cool, he’s not having “ppl” (his kids) in his house until shit was addressed (aka apologies issued to him). She said alright, cool, maybe I’ll go there instead. Now they are coming to AZ for sure, but since he disinvited them she rented a house. How is this betrayal? Wtf??


Odd_Spell4092

I wish Janelle would just say fine Kody I’m leaving I’m done this is nuts you clearly just want to be in one house with one wife. If you want your kids to spend Christmas with you, you have a phone you can use it. I’ll be doing Christmas with Christine, our kids and grandkids, if you want to come great if you and Robyn just want to do Christmas with your family fine, that just means more wine for Christine and I. Janelle is literally doing everything she can to help him out to spend time with his kids including finding a neutral site so he can spend time with kids who biologically aren’t even Janelle’s. I wish he would just say I don’t want to see them, I don’t want to be married to you but on camera I want to look like I try so I’m not painted to be a deadbeat.


[deleted]

Kody is so fucking childish. Janelle's right--what would he rather have happen? He doesn't get to see his kids AT ALL on Christmas?? I split up with my ex-husband after he did craaaaazy bad things to me, but I suck it up and we celebrate our kids' birthdays together. He came over for dinner, cake and ice cream, and opening presents and that thrilled my 9 y/o. My daughter is a dancer and we sit next to each other for her performances. My boyfriend can't stand my husband but he keeps the peace for the sake of our kids. Kody's inability to see outside of himself blows my mind


Available_Refuse_932

Whatever happened to him wanting to keep his marriages and relationships separate?!


penelopepips

Can this fool be any less of a man? He wants the wives to do his dirty work or reinforce his immature opinions and attitude. Had I known he was like this all along, I would have never watched this show.


Low-Hope6485

What is he upset about? That Christine is involved? His sons haven’t forgave him or apologized to him or reached out to him? This man child is so draining to watch, I can’t imagine ever having to actually deal with him.


PurplePetal04

You all pretty much have it covered. Kody, once again, isn’t making sense. Janelle/Christine’s suggestions sound logical. Janelle explains it here perfectly and I love the way she used his own words against him. Kody wants everyone to shun Christine. And he has a major problem with Janelle and Christine still being good friends and close. He said it in this week’s episode that he has a problem understanding how she can be close to Christine who is no longer part of the group yet not be close to Robin who is a sister wife. He’s nuts!


Notalwayslate

Guess the boys wanted to hang out with family that are fundamentally loyal and respectful of them.


DisastrousHyena3534

Good for Robyn & Meri for not taking that bait. I hope I don't regret saying this when the episode airs.


paperandlace

That dingus really wants his boys to be like the FLDS Lost Boys and have no where to go for Christmas if they won’t kiss the ring. Even Robyn knows not to vocalize support (on camera anyways)


em57863

His paranoia is staggering. Everyone is trying to turn their kids against him. He doesn’t see that his own neglect and refusal to welcome or even love his children is why no one wants to spend time with him. Christine and Janelle both tried to defend him to their children, but they are adults who have reached their own conclusions.


DisastrousHyena3534

You tell by the way she paraphrases his responses back to him in context of her proposed solution that she is used to outwitting his narc logic. Long live the Teflon Queen!


FindussFindus

Kody can't stand that they boys will not apologize. Instead they are picking Christine. And he can't do anything. To Kody that's a betrayal. For most people, it's life. Every action has a reaction & Kody, the slimey guy, wants to control his familys reactions. He's butthurt that they are not blindly loyal. He doesn't value independent thinking and have the most embarrassing tantrums. To him, the family is disrespectful and not loyal.


Mrsbear19

Kody needs Robyn to tell him why he’s upset lol


HappyLadyHappy

Why would the other kids want to be at that house? Why hasn’t Kody questioned that and found an answer for that?


ljnj

I think he is doing everything he can to get Janelle to leave so he can be in a monogamous relationship with Robyn. He can’t tell her to leave, it has to be her decision, so he’s trying to make that easy for her by making demands he knows she won’t agree to (putting him first, treating him as king Kody, etc) and making a bid deal out of nothing - like in this clip. And if she leaves it will be seen as her betraying him and not him betraying her (only in his head)


inishmuse

This is all about the show. He's upset because Christine will be in town and will be filmed. That. is. all. Honestly if you reframe all his complaints in terms of the show and whether the show will survive, it makes sense. Meri and Robyn's complaints too. They don't care about the marriage, they care about the show.


LizWords

I think his feelings of not wanting to have to center his holiday interactions with his children around his new ex-wife is actually pretty natural right after a fresh divorce. But while it may be natural/normal to be extremely bothered by the circumstances, that doesn't mean you shouldn't suck up and deal with it to see all your kids. It's a matter of emotional maturity. Yup, it's going to be a painful holiday for Kody and Christine as well, but you need to get through it. Just because you feel like stomping your feet and screaming it's unfair, doesn't mean you should indulge in that sort of behavior. He blames Janelle for saying things to his kids that aren't accurate, but he's literally demanding that she needs to communicate to his kids on his behalf, all because he's too immature and selfish to reach out to his kids himself and express his feelings and needs. Instead he's telling Janelle to have his kids reach out to him once they're ready to give him respect. So sorry she didn't phrase it properly for you, Kody. Maybe you should try SPEAKING TO THEM YOURSELF.


soaper410

Kody: Welp I told the boys they didn’t have to apologize since I forgot one of their bdays. Janelle: Well you kept using your buzzword “loyalty” and said they had to take the “KODY and Robyn loyalty oath.” Kody: I am so MAD! I had no intention of seeing Truly or Savannah or the other one. But now I can’t use their absence to try and make people feel sorry for me. Meri *in her head*: You know what would help Kody’s mood…leggings. But really ugly designed one. Kody: Why doesn’t anybody feel sorry for me. I HAD A 99.8 DEGREE TEMP. I almost died!


822_1

Kody did said the boys basically have to apologize to him and Robyn before they can come to his house. Even Robyn got that from the clip she responded to. Christine and Janelle have decided to offer a neutral place (Kody's words) to gather everyone for the holidays since by Kody's own description..his house isn't neutral. He calls this a betrayal because Janelle and Christine outsmarted him. This is why he is pissed. Why is Meri just sitting there and not offering her big empty house? That's why she had no where to go this past Thanksgiving IMO. She said on her instagram, that she woke up Thanksgiving (2022) morning, didn't want to get up and went back to bed.


throwawydoor

If meri and janelle leave there is no more show. I wonder what kodys plan is. Is he and meri in cahoots. Get rid of janelle, he and meri split the money. Cause meri isn’t stupid. Kody will pay her. And it will be 50/50. Him and sobbin robin will have to split.


FloridaLantana

Did anyone else worry when Kody picked up that big hunk of wood at the end?


cblackattack1

Lol “am I wrong?” The silence is literally deafening. Meri and robyn (the biggest pick me ass B’s) are stone faced and silent. Kody is bordering on psychotic.


Boss-of-Applesauce

Like Robyn would even let anyone else in her house for Christmas🙄


EvansHomeforBoys

Am I wrong?! Yes you are, sir. Yes you are.


DisastrousHyena3534

Man I'm actually starting to feel sorry for Robbin'. He must be awful 24/7.