By - plantsarecool222
In the episode when she said she loved what they had and can’t wait to get it back, but he said “ He felt like their relationship was dead and he felt set free. That she wasn’t the person she sold herself to be. That she isn’t kind to her sister wives.” “Meri mourns what we had, I regretted what we had.”
She keeps practically throwing herself at him and he keeps shaking his foot like he stepped in poop.
LOl thats a good description
What is he supposed to do now? She will not hear of it... she does not take a single hint, and even when he is so blunt and unkind she still doesn't step away. He is getting burned over this topic, but that is not fair in my opinion ... he has made it absolutely clear. Ofcourse he is going to get meaner and meaner, this must drive someone insane. He is a jerk, yes.. he has made a lot of mistakes and is selfish ... but this is not on him. He tried it the nicer way....
She should not have to quit her job because her coworker got a new wife. She has the right to earn equal money and does not need his permission to stay employed. Pretending to be a “sister wife” is the job. Kody refuses to completely cut her off because he thinks he needs her to get his own planet. He’s using her, she’s using him. I hope she sticks around and gets her money.
If he doesn’t like her hanging around HE can quit HIS job or HE can spiritually divorce her. He made the choice to end his marriage 10 years ago, he should fully end it. I’m not in the habit of punishing women for not obeying men. Fuck him.
Right. Kody has his name on every wife's property. There is no deed with Meri's name on it except Coyote Pass property, a parcel with Kody and Janelle's name on it too. I've heavily researched so unless someone can produce this deed, I don't want to hear theories that aren't fact. Kody owns Meri's house? Because she doesn't. Kody uses financial abuse. At this point, though, I have zero empathy for Meri. I don't care to hear about how Meri grew up in the cult and is an abuse victim. She has the resources to leave but it's clear she will long for Kody's touch till eternity. She shills pyramid scheme crap and has to share 1/2 her money w Kody. Kody does NOT want Meri to "divorce" him. He and Robyn will not be good financially. They suck at finances and Robyn's house was like $700k.
I don’t think Meri shares 1/2 her money with kody. I think she may still contribute to the family pot but I do not believe she hands over that much. That would give her power, and judging by the fact that they wouldn’t even let her visit for 8 months, she has zero power.
And I’m unsure what house of hers Kody has his name on, it’s not on the B&B. That is solely hers. But yes, Kody does financially abuse everyone and ties himself and Robyn into everyone’s assets. And then buys Robyn a 900,000 home. That was so unfair.
While Meei May long for his cold touch, I think she is only hanging around for the show. And good for her.
He should leave her then and not leave it up to his wives that’s fucked you think that
Why though? She is like this empowered woman and all..? I don't get it... she can leave.
Because meri clearly still loves and wants him. Kotex doesn’t love her, said all kinds of mean stuff. He’s the one who is done he should be leaving. Meri is staying because she is desperately hoping for the same relationship she once had with him and continues to try working for him and his love+affection.. which he is saying NOPE done with that. She isn’t my soulmate.
You’re not this obtuse seriously?
Helloooo, he has already left....like 10 years ago... stopped with the intimacy, stopped coming around for like at least 2 years....says he doesn't love her...he does not live with her or love on her...they are not married anymore either....so...What.Does.Kody.do?
Ok so you are this obtuse 😂😭 my b.
I mean, he could actually spiritually leave her? Like he could be the one to end the relationship.
Didn’t they say in an episode that the men can’t spiritually divorce their wives, only the wives can initiate that? So, if she won’t spiritually divorce him, and if he *can’t* spiritually divorce her, and if he doesn’t live with her or share affection with her or acknowledge any kind of romantic relationship with her, then what else could he do? They aren’t legally married anymore, so she is basically just an annoying ex that is remaining friendly and living in his and his current wives’ orbit. I hate it for her, I want her to choose better for herself, but I think unfortunately her personality disorder prevents her from making a good decision here for herself.
Edit: a word.
Kody says it. No one else says it has to be the women. He goes on about how it's a double standard and they can leave him but HE can't possibly leave. Then Robyn chimes in with "Yea we see men leave all their wives or all but 1."
Kody is lying. He wants his hands clean. Thats all.
I remember them talking about something like this, but then in the tell all, Meri says “He can leave” if he wants. So idk
I feel so bad for her and I wish she knew she is worth and that she and all the other wives deserve so much better than Kody.
I dont feel a bit sorry for her that this point, He has told her to leave. She won't, so thats on her. Ten years is a hell of a long time for someone half intelligent to realize they are in a hopeless and sad situation.
We only see part of what's going on. I wouldn't be surprised if he was telling her the complete opposite off camera. Also where is she supposed to go?
She can go anywhere she wants, she is financially independent. Also there is no amount of money or fame I would trade my dignity for. Even if it's just a storyline which I doubt don't you think they would have them reconcile for the ratings alone that would bring? I mean they've been a stranged for more than 10 years now, a facade like that would be hard to endure that long.
Again we don't see everything that actually happens. Kody seems very abusive, maybe not physically but emotionally and mentally. Have you ever dealt with that kind of relationship? Plus the way she was raised to believe that this is the only way she should live. Yes she should leave and it seems so easy but it's not always that simple especially not knowing the whole story. I'm in no way saying what I think is fact, it's what I believe from what we are able to see on TV and what I have dealt with in my own personal life. It's an observation only. I may be very wrong and you be completely correct but honestly it's all an opinion that we each have because we don't see everything.
Honestly I felt SO bad for her. 10 years is just messed up!
The thing is Kurly can go elsewhere for his intimate needs, Meri can just suck it up and live alone without so much as a visit 🤦♀️
How in the hell is that relationship equal 🥴
No, Meri can leave is what Meri can do. She does not have to put up with this shit but she chooses to. Look at Christine, she noped out pretty quick when she saw she was gonna be in the same boat as Meri...
Of course she can leave, im not religious so I’m not sure how bound one would feel to keep the commitment 🤷♀️ but I would hope for her she gets out. For Christine the choice was easier as she doesn’t share the beliefs of the church any longer. I’m not arguing wether Meri can leave or not, I’m arguing the fact that they seem to justify their positions as equal when in fact they most certainly are everything but equal.
Meri can go elsewhere too. She chooses to stay. What Kody is doing is wrong but Meri isn’t forced to keep accepting it.
I know, what I meant was he can go elsewhere and keep the marriage, she can’t 🤷♀️
He isn’t intimate with any of them except Robyn. Once he realized Robyn was his soul mate like Paedon confirmed, he slowly cut each wife off. He probably gave excuses like …. My seed needs to be spared for Robyn’s young womb. They probably went along with it because that is what their religion is about….having kids and bringing this unhappy family into the celestial kingdom. Gross.
That religion seems to be ruled by erection.
I agree. I rewatched E11:8, which includes a session with Nancy shortly after Meri met with the woman from Atlanta who had also been catfished by the same con artist. In that episode, in front of Nancy and the camera in his "talking head," he says their relationship *at that time* had been not good for 12 yrs +/-.
I think Paedon is correct about Kody and Robyn's relationship. When he and Robyn met, on the surface it was about her joining a polygamist family. But the reality is that it was always a monogamous relationship, with the other three wives looking in from the outside.
I remembered that and wondered why they kept saying 10 years. It's like when Janelle says she was married a short time to Meri's brother. Another time she says 11 months, but in reality she was married to him from 1988-1990. And in 1990 Meri and Kody got married and moved in with her.
I am inconsistent with how I describe my first marriage, too. Were we married from the wedding day until things started to be really bad? Until we stopped having sex? Until I realized things were bad? Until we decided it was over? Until one of us filed for divorce? Until he moved out? Until we agreed to everything and both signed the papers? Or until the date finally came that the judge signed the papers?
Legally, we were married until the judge signed off, but that was months after we had legally resolved everything with a mediator and signed ourselves, and over a year after it was OVER.
My first marriage was much longer than Janelle’s first, and I had kids, so my break up was much more complicated than hers legally. But I don’t know how much religious and social complication her divorce involved that mine didn’t.
I hate to defend these people for anything they do, but I can’t judge someone for being inconsistent about how long they say they were briefly married a long time ago.
Great question. It could be that so much time has passed, they forget. It could be that by the time we see the show, more time has passed. And, I gotta think it's hard to admit that a relationship has been broken down for as long as it has, especially when you've been on TV saying how important their family is to them. They spent the first 2 yrs trying to convince us they're one happy polygamous family when they were already broken. Sad because a TV show isn't a substitute for real life and happiness.
Can I ask what Paedon said about their relationship? Just curious about what I missed. TIA
He described Kody and Roby as being soulmates; that his father found his soulmate.
Overall, I think Paedon was respectful of both parents. I don't think he said anything super outrageous.
A narc never breaks up with anyone. They just make it so awful the person eventually realizes they should leave. Kody is a terrible, abusive person.
Not always. My narc dumped me because I was in the hospital and no longer convenient. He started dating someone else while I was in the hospital though and broke up with me after he secured his next supply.
Yes. He has repeatedly said “I can’t leave”. For some reason he “believes” he can’t leave but he abandons three of his wives physically and emotionally. I consider that leaving.
I have been doing a rewatch & this is something that stood out to me. Not long after the catfishing incident in a meeting with their therapist Krudy says that their relationship has been bad for a while. A few episodes after that he says something about their relationship being platonic. THEN all of the episodes come on about them getting ready to move & he’s taking all of the wives to look at property. In the episode where he takes Meri he talks about them working on the relationship & how Flagstaff is the perfect place to rekindle a relationship & he walks around with his arm around her & shows her all the attention.
I don’t know why I didn’t see the sickening level of manipulation that Krudy was willing to stoop to so that he was able to get his way & talk all of the wives into the move the 1st time I watched!!!
It also made me wonder how many times he has done this to Meri??? Throw her a small bone & make her think that there is some type of hope of repairing their relationship & then turn around & make her think she’s the crazy one for even trying. He knows exactly what he’s doing & it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach!!
Exactly! Why was she expected/demanded to move to Flagstaff if in Kody's opinion the marriage was done? His ridiculous edict "Where were go one, we go all". Meri could have stayed in Las Vegas. Why not? Because Kody wanted "his part" of the equity in Meri's house. Selling the house was the easy way to get it. Having to discuss it out loud, come to a financial agreement and execute the agreement without selling the house would have been messy for Kody. It's was better for Kody to deceive Meri and offer false hope. What a fracking asshole.
I think, for him at that point it was about keeping the show going and keeping Meri's funds flowing into the family pot for his plan with Robyn.
This exactly. They do the bare minimun to keep Meri's hopes up and assure her she is part of the family so she will still be required to share some of her money. I imagine Robyn is acting on Kody's orders to keep Meri in the fold but at arms length because he wants nothing to do with her unless he absolutely has to and I imagine that is only when there is a financial issue.
Meri takes every bone kody throws at her and hugs it. I’m watching the episode with Hunter’s goodbye party at the land. And she’s so happy that kody made her a s’mores even if Robyn told him to. It’s unrequited love. I truly believe that it’s her religious calling to stay with the family. She comes by it honestly. It’s all she knows.
It’s so hard to watch she’s so broken down
A decade… that is a very very long time.
And people try to crucify her for the “catfish”
I guess everyone should be happy she is so AUB indoctrinated…
I would have been screwing as many men as I could. Such insane double standards.
Her husband left her. Years before. What in the actual fuck is wrong with people.
The catfish was just another reason for Kody to dismiss Meri. She was doing it out of loneliness and the attention she clearly wasn't getting from Kody. He knew that and will always hold it over her head because it deflects any responsibility off his shoulders for the deterioration of the relationship. He can and will use it against her always and forever.
But but but he doesn’t hold grudges, remember?
He can say whatever he wants, but facts are facts! He's wanted out for some time, and this is just more ammo for his arsonal!!!!
Additionally, when the catfish thing happened, Kody initially had some compassion for her and took responsibility for not being dedicated enough to their relationship. He changed the narrative as time went on and he decided he needed an excuse to fall back on that could absolve him from completely detatching from her.
exactly my point! Thank you for seeing it
Totally! Doing a rewatch in binge style, so it's easy to pick up on this stuff right now.
Yes!! You are spot on.
So you think the contract she signed said he gets to leave her in every single way and she just sits… that’s the contract she signed with Kody and their god to get into their planet? He left her. He had bare minimum contact with her.
Maybe god can be so cruel. Their god that is.
Absolutely this! I would have been on the internet searching for some bit of attention from really anyone if I was her. I don’t blame her for the catfish at all, and I’m certain her being fooled in that situation has traumatized her further into staying with Grody.
Don't forget, Meri was in the process of cheating on Kody when she got catfished. And there would have been a lot of steps taking her to the point at which she ultimately found out she was being played. Meaning, she didn't accidentally stumble into a catfish -- she was intentional about pursuing this other relationship in secret. Had it been a real man and not a fraud, I bet Meri would be long gone from the Browns now. So, I do think she's shown she has a desire for more than she's getting. But I wonder if the humiliation was so great, the hurt was so great, that now she's not only gun shy about ever trying again... she's also saving face to some degree (in her mind), by pledging her undying devotion to a man who practically despises her.
Yep it because of this I do not believe she stays for religion and that she is SO indoctrined into this cult she knows no better. If she were to by accident meet someone she was interested in and felt the same as her I don't believe she would turn down a real and loving relationship to stay in this spot with Kody.
Yep. It's sad for Meri that all of this has played out on TV, because I'd imagine her choices would have been different if they were just private citizens.
He's 100% stringing her along. We've heard him say several times that their relationship is over but he's also said that it could be something "new" with work.
Whatever that means...
He never works on things though. He expects the wives to do it all alone. He doesn't want to be involved with helping them with any of their issues in regards to the relationships even though he's directly involved obviously.
I bet he's manipulating her into staying by giving her crumbs of what she longs for behind the scenes.
It seems to me that Meri isn’t bothered by this at all. Which is fine. I think she might be a late blooming lesbian, or maybe so deep in her closet she will never come out.
I don’t think she isn’t bothered—I wonder if Meri is punishing herself for the catfish?? The catfish was able to lure her away with hope for love and intimacy (she was a damaged/abused person in a vulnerable state starved for love and connection after becoming a legally divorced, empty-nester) and that blew up in her face. Growing up indoctrinated in the AUB, it’s possible she sees that as a test, that she failed, and now must pay the price (also a convenient reason for Kody to completely sever any feelings he once had from her rather than accepting his part in distancing her in the first place or admitting Robyn and he are monogamous and losing “his” show about sister wives).
I don’t think her upbringing allows her to possess a true sense of self and autonomy and free will. She must accept God’s and Kody’s plan for her—if she strays, she loses every support system she has ever known. I wonder whether if she hadn’t had the catfish incident, which in my view set her back and reinforced her current clinginess, she’d be more likely to see the situation for what it actually is now and bail like Christine?
I think the same. I think the catfish really messed her up and made her more clingy and made her more afraid of the world. She was ready to leave, so I think she does want those things but since it was a catfish she gave up and will allow herself to be shit on in exchange for what little "support" she has in the family.
This is definitely where my money is!
Oooooh, I’m pretty sure Meri would pray the gay away if she let herself even consider it. 😂
I've always thought that. She looks at Robyn the way Kody looks at Robyn.
I’ve always thought she was
Meri has one relationship ..with lula rue. All the intimacy she can handle
Not surprised she got sucked into that. Lularue is a fake ‘happy’ group of stay at home moms and wives looking for community.
At this point in her life, I sincerely hope she is only there for the paycheck. After years of this , she has some serious self esteem / mental health issues and probably feels there is not a life for her outside this compound. It's like a strange Stockholm syndrome.
Her level of denial is for the record books, to be recorded in the Journals of International Psychiatry, studied by top psychologists, and played as examples of delusion for psychiatry students in med school. Like, you summed it up. At this point, Kody is NOT at fault that Meri keeps being hurt. Yet, I think maybe, being Meri did try to get action outside of Kody and it ended up being a manipulative woman, not the wealthy man who was sweeping her off her feet away from Kody to start anew, she may be scared shitless to try love outside of Kody. Yet, there is this thing called....self care and uhmmm, being single to take care of ones own heart. Meri could try that! Meanwhile, even dating could be fun for her! Nope! She wants to masturbate for 10 more years waiting on Kody. 🤦♀️
I don’t care how pathetic this sounds but meri motivates the hell out of me to live up to my potential with honesty. Every week I see her just dive deep into the Denial River and it’s so painful I never want to be like that!!!!!
Of course Kody is at fault! He married her, created a relationship with her, basically altered it after Robyn came into the picture and basically abandoned a woman who loved/loves him. I’m not saying Meri is blameless, but he has the burden of the blame. I can’t stand him. He’s an asshole.
No, in my opinion...everyone needs to accept there are no guarantees & people change! Who you married is not who may be beside you 10 years later. You may grow into two incompatible people who want completely different things out of life. So, should you stay miserable with someone who gas told you they don't want you because 10 years ago you promised to stay together? Change is a fact of human life that causes human beings stress and embracing this fact is what makes the difference. It doesnt mean someone is bad, wrong, or good. It means we don't belong to anyone and it is a choices to stay. You can wrap your world around one person...you cant control whom they meet and what they do. You can control your reaction to them deciding you are no longer of interest to them and make a positive move to stride forward instead of remaining stagnant...holding on to hope for a man who has told you, he does not want you.
Marriage vows: for better or worse until death do us part.
Thank you. People on the sub act like Meri can’t be called out. Or anyone that’s not Robyn and Kody.
Right!!!! We have to take responsibility for our own choices and our own happiness. Humans are not always loving, loyal, honest, reliable, or trustworthy all of the time. Loss is part of life. Everything ends, including love, unless the two people in love die at the same time. Embracing these facts and making positive choices for your own future is what makes the difference. This fairytale of relationships usually comes from the younger set. Ask any couple married for 25+ years and they will tell you they have fallen in and out of love and that the highs and lows are worked through, as well as everyday is not a sunny day. The onus is on Meri at this point to choose a new path. Kody has made himself quite clear and life has always shown us, it is short. Make the most of it
She is still sealed (spiritually married) to him. As a true believer, she’s kind of stuck with him. He’s cruel.
No wonder Kody told the cameras that they don’t discuss the intimate details of their marriage publicly. That’s changed the past few years, though.
Great summarized comprehensive list of how Kody has made it painfully clear. On top of everything you pointed out, he has straight up said that he feels like he can’t divorce Meri because of his religion, but that he would absolutely be fine with her divorcing him, he pretty much welcomes it.
Hearing someone so casually say that in a public setting has got to be incredibly painful
I for one was relieved that I no longer had to picture them in the sack
He is so unbelievably cruel with his words. If he doesn't want to be polygamous anymore, just cut everyone loose. He thinks it's his "duty" to stay, which only adds to his anger and resentment towards everyone he doesn't want to be bothered with anymore.
Kody always says he can't be the one to leave, but Robyn has said in the Season 16 Tell All that some men in their religion leave their wives and just stay with one. I think she was then asked if Kody could leave and she said - yes. IIRC I remember her comment being the opposite of what Kody has been saying.
My straight from the hunch theory: Meri's kinda very gay and has no problem not sharing a bed with Kody for more than a decade because they share something far more special - A great love for Robyn... Kody a Robyn don't know this.
Kody used to gush about how much Meri just LOVED Robyn. Buying her little gifts and always so giddy to be around her. I don't know how anyone could be so ecstatic when basically they are saying "Here's a new-to-you younger tighter vaj for you to bang tonight! So happy!" I could never be so enthusiastic over that. But Meri was.
Its crazy and stalkerish at this point. If I broke up with someone more than 10 tears ago and made it clear we will NEVER be bf/gf or husband /wife again and they followed me wherever I moved, and told everyone who would listen they think they still have a chance so they will never move on with anyone else and continued to try to win me back, try to befriend my current spouse and our children, well....that would be beyond weird and there would be a restraining order involved. All she is is that crazy ex that will not leave you alone and accept that it is OVER.
No wonder she has so much pent up aggression!
Kody just needs to flat out tell her to go but then I feel like even if Kody stood there and looked Meri in the eyes and said I want you to leave, I don't love you, we will never have a marriage and I want you to move on she wouldn't.
I can't figure out if she is afraid she won't go to heaven because she went outside her marriage and she's doing her own purgatory by staying and letting him be cruel to her.
Or if she's so traumatized by that fish that she's afraid it'll happen again so she just stays where she is hoping and praying it'll get better between her and Kody.
She seems fine when she's away from him though, she's always laughing and having a good time. She has good friends and her family and is just full of light and happiness when she's not around Kody and Co. Yet after a couple weeks around them she's back to being sad and pathetic.
And she is kicking in her income to the family pot while Sobyn sits on her [email protected]@ with a nanny. Unbelievable. Meri must be counting on entering the celestial kingdom with a long list of grievances.
I feel like the only way he “couldn’t be more clear” is if he left her…but he doesn’t do that. He wants to put the burden and blame of a broken marriage on her by pushing her until she leaves. This man is so emotionally abusive and manipulative. He withholds intimacy from his wives as a punishment for what he perceives as them not respecting him as the head of the household, meanwhile he can still fulfill his sexual needs with Robyn. He’s a misogynist dipshit and I can’t see how anyone could be on his side about anything ever.
Kody needs to tell her they are no longer married. He hasn’t done everything because he hasn’t done that. He’s a piece of crap for not doing that. It’s sad though cause when she said they hadn’t had sex in over 10 years I was not at all surprised.
I never understood why Meri is staying, she just lives her life on her own, in her house payed with their money. She never helped Christine with the kids when Janelle was working. Whatever has she done in her big house all these years, after her one daughter moved out. I never understood Meri, she is still young enough to find a love, and a career.
It's wild to me that he is clearly the person in the wrong here, yet you think she should be embarrassed.
I agree 100% and had mentioned it earlier as a huge red flag. Meri doesn't seem to put out by it, and Kody's response is CLEAR as day that he's not ever going to fix it. This is why I kind of blame Meri for sticking around.
Intimacy is more than just sex. It's the effort, trying, etc. Kody clearly has no intentions of ever repairing it on any level. I really wish Meri would do her own thing like Christine.
This unrequited, one-sided love story that Meri is displaying on national television is humiliating and sad.