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Vince: Braun, we can’t afford to keep you right now Braun: Damn. The pandemic, huh? Vince: …yes. The pandemic.


Pandemic is what Vince calls his dick.


The Pandemic Jackhammer


Because if you hang around WWE enough, you’ll get it eventually, even if you tried to avoid it?


How many WCWs-worth of cash is the final total gonna be


it’ll be at least 1 ROH at this rate


**Payoffs:** $19.6 million **Total sale price of WCW:** $4.2 million ($2.5 million IP + $1.7 million video library) We're up to about 4.7 WCWs.


I still can't get how low they sold that library for. Like, sure, they wanted out of wrestling, but surely someone at Warner had to recognise that they could just hold onto that for a while and not give them away for a rounding error for a company of that scale.


Not just that, but the minds behind Fusient Media, who bailed on the WCW sale because they lost the TV contract, made their fortune on buying old sports libraries and turned that into the Classic Sports Network, later ESPN Classic. Baffling.


If you adjust for inflation I think WCW is worth something like $7 million in present day money, so right now - about three WCWs. Or 1 ROH if the lower end $20 million rumored figure is accurate.


So low, like realistically a high paid wrestler could afford that


We're at like 10 WCWs now, so this could get crazy.


If they end up going all the way back to when Vince took over the company, I’m gonna bet it ends up in the realm of 20-25 WCWs, give or take a Smokey Mountain library


"If you have not received a hush money check from Vince McMahon YOU MAY BE ENTITLED TO FINANCIAL COMPENSATION" Saul Goodman


You think this is bad? This chicanery? He's done worse. That Stand Up For WWE campaign? Are you telling me a man just happens to take a bump like that? No HE orchestrated it, VINCE!


He made people kiss his ass! And we let him! And we shouldn't have!


A monkey with a typewriter! Somebody stop him!


Not PRECIOUS Vince! And you have to stop him! You have to…


Smark Mark sterling already got his hands full


"I tracked where my Quarterly Earnings were going and found out THEY WERE FUNDING TERRORISM!




"Did Vince McMahon have sex with you at Camp Lejeune?"


Do you have rights? This quarterly disclosure says you do. And so do I!


Now I need a scene of Saul going to work and the lobby is full of wrestlers


He's gonna need a bigger Huell


I googled Albuquerque and con man. Now what?


You have to Ask Jeeves or it doesn’t work.


Soy amigo del Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre Soy amigo del Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre


After having watched the penultimate episode of Better Call Saul, this is both funny and very depressing.


Thanksgiving dinner is going to be awkward


Someone might get thrown through the buffet table


The Spanish buffet table


"Mr McMahon just *exploded* through the dessert table!!!" -- Michael Cole, who's there for some reason


Mr McMahon is suffering from....anal bleeding.


My Hole!!!


Bah gawd, Triple H just... just... pedigreed Vince McMahon right into the gravy! That's a 78 year old man for god's sake! The gravy boat shattered into a hundred pieces! Look at Mr. McMahon, there's gravy all over him. Look at the steam coming off! That is boiling hot gravy, ladies and gentlemen.


Someone may throw a pie


It'll be Kevin Owens for revenge.


Nah Shane falls through it every year.


Vince: Goddammit where's my turkey?! Stone Cold disguised as chef: Oh I'll bring it right over sir...


Now I need Yurple the Turkey Clown


Turkey ain't all that Vince been stuffing.


The Gobbledygooker is the key to all this.


Why? I bet the entire family has known about Vince’s indiscretions, none of them are saints themselves. It’s this sort of unscrupulous behaviour that’s going to make them billionaires once the company is sold, what’s a little hush money at this point?


They’re gonna be “finding” these payments the way a normal person finds change in their couch or a dollar bill on the side in between their car door and seat lol.


An old pair of jeans...with $5M in the pocket


No wonder they released so many people because of “budget cuts” with all these millions going missing.


I was thinking, we're like three "revelations" away from learning the company has never made a profit 'cause Vince sex-assaulted it all away


We always talk about how Richard Fliehr could never seperate himself from Ric Flair. It’s becoming oddly noticeable that Vince McMahon couldn’t do the same. It’s also becoming even more noticeable that he wanted something to do with Lana, and was pissed Miro was the one dating her.


Brother, Miro and Lana aren't the first ones. He's been splitting couples up for years. I don't know if its jealously per se but there's certainly something happening there when it was unofficial company mandate that if a male talent dates a female talent, one has to be on Raw, the other must be on SmackDown. And nobody was excluded from that. Kenny Dykstra was dating Mickie James when suddenly Kenny was shipped to SmackDown and Mickie stayed on Raw.


Yeah - Vince has had a long history of being flabbergasted that attractive women would be with people he'd think are beneath them. Rusev and Lana is a prime example (Lana being an attractive blonde woman, which is definitely his type). I do also believe there were stories about "upper management" getting heat with Punk because of who he'd be with and they felt he was "working above his pay grade". It's also an old-school wrestling mentality that the pretty woman in the business shouldn't be with anyone other than the top guys. I remember rumblings about Billy Kidman being with Torrie Wilson. Hell, you can even go back to Baby Doll losing her push in Crockett because she was dating Sam Houston, who was a lower card talent.


In retrospect the biggest sign that Randy Savage was going to be huge was not only him letting him have Elizabeth as his manager, but actually bringing her in to manage him.


Yeah this has always been a thing. You can tell they get pissed if any of the female talent date midcarders. But all of a sudden a Bella dates Cena and she gets a huge push.


Wrestling is fucking weird


It's a soap opera behind and in front of the cameras.


Wasn't Mick Foley's wife supposed to show up on screen as someone else's valet cuz WCW couldn't fathom the idea that she would even associate with Mick?


It was rumored that Vince had Maryse paired with Ted Dibiase Jr. because of her relationship with The Miz, even though Ted had negative chemistry with Maryse because his wife wouldn't stop pestering him thinking that they were really sleeping together.


There are no jokes about someone trying to fuck on him yet?


>I remember rumblings about Billy Kidman being with Torrie Wilson. Kidman and Wilson started dating in WCW, and then we're actually married from 2003-2008. > Hell, you can even go back to Baby Doll losing her push in Crockett because she was dating Sam Houston, who was a lower card talent. On one of the podcasts, I believe it was Arn's, this subject was brought up, and they basically said that Houston was paranoid of everyone trying to get in Babydoll's pants, and pissed off the wrong people. Apparently the "last straw" was when Babydoll was going to run an errand for Jim Crockett (picking up food for the boys) and Houston "forbade" her from doing so.


Thanks for the clarification about Babydoll. Regarding Wilson and Kidman, if memory serves me right, there were those in WCW that had an issue with the pairing.


Wrestling has just as many ”unwritten rules” as baseball... Part of which is because of the closed culture that was necessary in the kayfabe era. When you factor in the high school jock mentality as well, it can be just straight up toxic. If you have any kind of fragile mentality, it will wreck you.


Dusty thought baby doll should want him cause he was the booker I bet sam touched the mat


John Morrison/Melina was another one. Allegedly she got pushed onto Batista.


Let's not forget about Marc Mero and Sable.


Sunny and Candido.


Poor Chris


Sable & Mero.


Hold on, bro. The Mickie and Kenny thing had to do with John Cena did it not?


OP just used that as an example of Vince splitting up real life couples on different shows. Also - it’s been rumored for year’s there’s a belief that the good looking women should be with top talent and we’re often pushed that way.


So petty and carny of them


When I first came back to wrestling after leaving after snitsky caused lita to miscarry kane's rape baby, one of the first things I saw was a segment where rusev was being cucked by aiden english. He said something about how all the evidence was coming next week. Nothing happened next week. Or the week after. I asked my friends I was watching with if I missed it. No, that just happens a lot. Fast forward, and Rusev is in ANOTHER cuck angle with Lashley. Now with her interview with Renee I'm learning there was something else with Ziggler? It's fucking wild.


> leaving after snitsky caused lita to miscarry kane's rape baby IT WASN'T. HIS. FAULT.


I made sure to leave it worded so someone could drop this. Thank you for your service


My favorite wwe moment is Snitzky punting the baby into the crowd from the middle of the ring. WTF? https://youtu.be/IU_-MFNRSeA


Ahh yes...you are missing the advanced couple swap/Rusev throwing a fish at Lana angle with Rusev, Lana, Summer Rae, and Dolph. It was Dolph right?


This was the angle that was dumped due to the Rusev/Lana engagement announcement, IIRC. Also, it resulted in Rusev talking about “my hot Summer,” which is absolute gold.


"It's a fish. Take the fish."


I say this as a big Dolphin, but Rusev saved that feud from being 100% garbage. It was still like 98% trash, but he salvaged it the best he could. Edit: took out the word "percent" for redundancy.


>...snitsky caused lita to miscarry kane's rape baby, one of the first things I saw was a segment where rusev was being cucked by aiden english. What an amazingly crazy sentence. r/BrandNewSentence


> It’s also becoming even more noticeable that he wanted something to do with Lana, and was pissed Miro was the one dating her. 100% this. Vince was notorious for being jealous that another "alpha" came and took a woman he had eyes for. He would do that shit all of the time. Seriously, may Vince rot.


Which is pretty much the least 'alpha' shit, even in the eyes of the kinds of losers who buy into that stuff.


All of these comments have gotta be pretty fucking shocking for non wrestling fans who don't know about all the shit we've sat through (or not, in a lot of cases) over the years. Wonder what the average person who has no clue about the history thinks about whats been coming out over the past month or so. SpeakingOut 2.0?


> It’s also becoming even more noticeable that he wanted something to do with Lana, and was pissed Miro was the one dating her. Always thought this. He was so pissed at their first twitter announcement.


The one where they announced they were engaged? Wasn’t that in the middle of that storyline with Ziggler and Summer Rae?


Honestly I would bet it's less he wanted to do something with Lana(which he may or may not have but moot for this) and more that he just wants to make people do things they don't want to, because it's the power and control that he's getting off on, the individual is kinda irrelevant.


Probably both. Vince clearly like power over people and gets gratification from it.


It's sex assaults all the way down


r/SquaredCircle: "All of these cuts clearly mean they're gearing up for a sale. They're getting their ducks in a row. It's very obvious now." Vince: "Actually, I can't control my horny level"


Have to say, I was fully convinced they were gearing up for a sale. The writing was all there, we all just got the spelling mixed up.


Perhaps Vince wanted a sale to go through before potential buyers learned how many skeletons WWE in general (and Vince in particular) had in his closet. It wouldn't be the first time I've heard of a company being sold just before the wheels fell off for one reason or another.


I mean, Im still convinced they are gearing up for a sale...I think Vince being out of control probably makes it even more likely. Getting rid of his chaos makes it more appealing to NBC to just buy them out completely rather than pay like $2bil over 5 years for the live programs and network content.


How would you even react when you find out you were canned because your salary was spent on a sex bribe


Vince's need to fuck directly caused the bolstering of his largest rival's roster.


This is a joke but honestly more proof that they could’ve kept as many fucking people as they wanted on that roster


you never needed proof that they always could’ve afforded to keep the entirety of their roster. their budget cuts were made with the intention of maximizing their profit. they were never running out of money.


Thank you u/Shitdickcum for this solid analysis




That's ALWAYS been true. Profits always Trump all. (I do think there is such thing as too big a roster...but WWE hasn't had it.)


Is this what was in the lockbox at Wrestlemania 32?


That’s what I’m thinking.


This is going to continue getting quite ugly, they haven't even finished their investigation and are still finding big payments like this.


Imagine being one of those let go during the pandemic and finding out about this.


Braun about to tip over Vince's house


So. 19 million dollars on sex payouts. If he had just used an escort service that charged him $1000/hour (which is what Elliot Spitzer used), 19 million dollars would have got him 19000 hours of service. That's 791.67 days of top quality hooker time. Being a pervert can be pretty expensive.


19000/365 = 52 years worth of hookers at 1hr a day. 26 years if he wanted two hours a day “Such good shit, pal”


It's not about the sex, it's about the power


i havent gotten hush money from vince..am i ugly 😰


buddy, I'm not gonna lie to you.... anyway crazy story about Vince right?


Next we're gonna find out that Vince has been funding Ezra Miller's terror travels this whole time too.


Next we're gonna find out that Vince has been accompanying Ezra Miller on their terror travels. Hey, he has to do *something* with his time now that he's retired.


My money is on a sex tape getting discovered and/or leaked. And McMahon probably didn't just make one. lol


With Ezra Miller??? Now THAT would be a twist!


Kevin Dunn directed it, so you can't see what the fuck is going on.


Let’s cancel Batgirl again! Flash will still be on.




They’re gonna find the Snuka money at this rate


I know your joking but what are the chances that somebody at the WSJ or wherever found out something about that


It could honestly be the starting point that made Vince realized he could do anything with money.


bro just get a fuckin' hooker jesus


Apparently there's no need when he has a roster of women wrestlers and young interns at his corporate office to pick from.


You don’t pay a hooker for sex. You pay her so when you’re done you can tell her get the fuck out of my house. -Charlie Sheen


But that doesn't feed his megalomaniac perverted ego. Why just commit a regular crime when you can commit a sordid, creepy one with much more of a power dynamic involved? People like Vince feel invincible, humans lose their fucking minds when they're that rich and 'powerful', just look at every billionaire and the horrible shit they do professionally and privately.


>Why just commit a regular crime when you can commit a sordid, creepy one with much more of a power dynamic involved? Bang on the money. Sex abuse is never about sex, it's about power.


It becomes a power thing. Since hookers know it's the exchange of sex for money, there is no power to be held over them in a situation like this.


If any of them had a thought in their heads other than grunts, they'd just get into the kink scene, find someone into TPE, and call it good. Then again, they probably just get off to having power over someone that *isn't* consenting, which is just gross as hell.


Jim Cornette did the maths on his podcast and they basically discovered that with the (at the time) 12 million, he could have paid a high end sex worker every day for 30 something years


Classic Cornette content


It's not about the sex. It's the power and control. The sex is just a byproduct.


"Everything is about sex, except sex, which is about power" --fictional abuser Frank Underwood, played by real-life abuser Kevin Spacey


It was Oscar Wilde that first came up with that quote


TIL, you can tell I watched too much Netflix in the first half of the 2010s


I feel like we are about to hear about some secret love children, well besides Hornswoggle we already knew about him.




"Vince McMahon once said the N-word... on TV!"


Durag Vince as the thumbnail for the article.


Durag Vince is too powerful to be a thumbnail


Some people say that the durag is unable to be separated from his head without industrial cutting equipment, others say that he has either a fifteen inch penis or fifteen inch-long penises. All we know is he's called Durag Vince.


Tell me he did not just say that.


Clicked Vince McMahon trend on Twitter, saw a clip of him saying Sabu was in the Taliban. I didn't even know about that one.


I was thinking, Vince probably retired not because of what came out already, but of what he learned will 100% come out soon. This is gonna be fun.


yeah, he didn't retire because he suddenly got plans to go on a cruise ship


Vince confirmed for the Jericho Cruise! You heard it here first!


Call the hotline! 1-900-909-9900


I heard this message.


With Vince retiring it was only a matter of time


They found the lockbox, I guess.


Vince going to horny jail faster than this sub during a Hayter/Storm match...




This has officially gone beyond Clown Show. This is now a full-on CLOWN CRUISE.


Clown Jewel


*chefs kiss*


*Matt Osborne has entered the chat.*


I said "Boink" not Doink, pal.


There goes the money, There goes the money~


Dude could've just bought a place in Vegas and had a whore house on retainer


I’m starting to understand why Vince was so adamant about taking that sweet Saudi blood money….


"We want to see Undertaker be almost killed by another 50 year old part-timer, we'll give you 50m to make it happen, deal?" "Wowzer, that'll pay for like 4 affairs right there! Deal!"


That also explains why he choose Taker to represent him in the hell in a cell match with Shane.


Imagine the stories Taker could tell that would get people in trouble, probably including himself. He could have the best podcast of all time. You don't become the leader of the locker room for like 20 years and not see or hear anything like this happening.


Taker would never talk willingly though, because that would "harm the business"


There's an Undertaker story that's always kinda bothered me that Nash tells. Taker was hanging out with some goth girl that was a fan of his in a hotel lobby. She had real long, black hair as a goth chick would. Taker was apparently real nice to her all but later in the night one of the agents or other lower card wrestlers shaved half her head bald while she was asleep or passed out. Taker comes into the lobby in the morning and sees her crying and talking to a Police Officer and instead of being "What the fuck, who did this?" He was like "Oh shit, they're gonna blame this on me. Best get out of here real quick".


$20m in hush money but had to cut countless talent due to “budget cuts”.


20m so far*


y'know...."budget cuts" from all these releases suddenly just made sense /s for the record


Most sugar babies have a monthly allowance of $2,000-$2,500. Let’s say Vince was real generous and doubled that. Let’s say he kept as many as three sugar babies at the time on his “payroll” for that 14 year period. He still only would have spent $2.52 million over that time and wouldn’t have ever gotten the SEC involved. This was never about sex. It was about power and Vince trying to prove that he was above consequences.


How do you know about the monthly allowance amount haha


Thats what he charges his sugar daddy’s


Really? That seems low. Unless the accommodation and transportation is paid for separately.


Between this, the shitshow with Trump, and the shitshow with Alex Jones, it’s a fun week to have eyes.


Haha I’m just catching up. Good God. Also, can’t believe Jones sent his wife’s nudes to Roger Stone.


I can’t believe an Alex Jones dick pic may soon be in internet circulation.


Can’t wait for the explanation that Alex Jones, the character, has a 10-inch dick in kayfabe


> Also, can’t believe Jones sent his wife’s nudes to Roger Stone. Somehow, I can. These types ten to project their own debauchery on to others.


Budget cuts more like budget nuts am I right?


At that price, I not sure I'd call them "budget"


South Park is going to have a field day with this at some point.


If that episode they did spoofing the drama of the company is anything to go by, it'll get national acclaim.


EVERYBODY LOVES THE ACCLAIM— ermm sorry, force of habit


At this rate does anyone else think that the leave of absence that Stephanie took a while back has a little less to do with Triple H’s health at the time and maybe something to do with her finding out something that Vince did and just needing a break from him afterwards?


I have a weird feeling that they may have to end up delaying the quarterly report right up til the next one is due at this rate


Are they even allowed to do that? And if they are, wouldn't that indicate to stock holders to dump the stock causing the price to tank?


Quarterly report filing delays are not uncommon for many businesses where there is a depreciation dispute or some kind of past issue uncovered but usually its not the CEO using company money to disperse cash off the books like this lol The stock price however hasn't taken a hit like you might expect - partially thats because not much stock is on the open market, and partially because Vince himself isn't nearly as important to the financials as, say, contract negotiations with USA or Fox would be


No freaky deaky in the world worth me spending $17 million




It’s interesting how many people don’t realize that him “choosing to retire” was actually the board saying “we found all this shit, so you gotta go, but we’ll give you the courtesy of retirement”


Just the tip has gotten Vince in a lot of hot water here lately.




At what point do they stop "uncovering" and just call Vince and ask "Yo bro. Wtf. How many and how much, so we can get this over with."


They do, but he just keeps telling them “No that’s all of it pal”


It must be wonderful to be Linda McMahon this time of the year


Meltzer: "WWE's investigations have found another $5 million in payments made that they weren't aware of related to Vince McMahon, payments to two people in 2007 and 2009" https://twitter.com/davemeltzerWON/status/1557121929533829122


> “McMahon made two additional payments totaling $5 million — unrelated to the allegations that led to the board’s special committee investigation — in 2007 and 2009, which also should have been recorded in the company’s consolidated financial statements. WWE did not provide details on what McMahon’s $5 million in payments were for.” Source: The very short article there most will not bother to read. That’s from the article the above article sites. Meltzer didn’t break that.


“Sorry Adam, I can’t resign you, dumped a load in an intern last week”


If my math is correct, we're up to 7.8 WCW's worth of blowjob coverups.


3x that in bounced checks from Paul Heyman. /s


What a maneuver!




We are at 19.6M in hush money now.


That's insane! I know it is like beating a dead horse but he could've legit opened up a brothel in Carson City, hired a bunch of workers and got his fixes there while receiving income for way less that 20 million. It's sickening that he made these "power"moves on staff.