At the risk of responding to a troll, you’re supposedly 24 years old and you’re writing post a like this. Maturity isn’t just in salary. I’m not surprised you’re not married lol.
Giiiiirl.
Come on, you make some wild assumptions in your post. Secretly gay?
But you're right. Obv this is an issue in the Somali diaspora, and I think some of the presumably young men who've responded in this thread are right. There are many men who don't find the qualities you (and I, in my previous post) described as attractive. Career, high income etc are not qualities in their eyes.
But still...while I truly believe them when they write that "no man cares about the woman's income" or "career", they seem quite naïve in assuming that it isn't an issue for some men from socially conservative cultures as ours.
I've been on my fair share of dates with Somali fellas who seemed really allright with who I am to begin with, but like a month and 3-4 dates in began repeatedly asking if I reaaaaally would accept a bus driver. Yeah, I would, until you asked me that question 5 times in a row.
But relax, it gets better. I'm still single and at the moment by choice, but my friend I mentioned in my original thread has found her *oday*. A brilliant and amazing guy whom she matches perfectly with. You do you and it will work out!
And I'm not even ugly. I got all my teeth and stuff.
Just kidding. But thanks for your kind words. I think it's just that I'm too paradoxical for some people. On the one hand, I'm very much invested in *somalinimo* - the language, culture, traditions, people and politics. And I know many who fit that bill and who I'd probably be compatible with.
But then, I'm also very much a Norwegian, socialist nerd who loves hiking in the woods while discussing the merits of the welfare state, going to the theatre and conversing about the latest literary scandal between acts or just staying at home, periodically introverted, to watch all seasons of Star Trek.
So, that's my dating profile, lol. Find me an *oday* that doesn't necessarily agree with me in all things or shares all my interests, but at least can appreciate all my weirdness. And then I'll be forever grateful lol.
This girl doesn’t understand that Somali men have an ‘abundance mindset’ from birth. We aren’t pathetic and desperate like those ajanabis that fetish you so if we don’t approach you there is clearly something off about you.
High standards,
Educated faraxs with degrees want either an ajanabi or the most beautiful somali girl they can find
And the educated and beautiful xaalimos want the richest and most educated man.
The rest of the average population is having no issues. It’s just a very loud minority
My siblings and I are educated Somali men and we will never settle for an ajnabi.
I personally love my culture too much to let this happen and I want to fully instill this culture in my children.
That makes no sense. I'm not arguing for every Somali to marry an ajnabi. That's ridiculous. But this prevalent idea among Somalis that another Somali is inherently better spouse material is straight up retarded. Why pretend like you don't have an insane overlap with other Muslim community? There's barely a difference in marrying a Palestinian chick and marrying a Somali chick in the diaspora.
There’s a big difference between me, a Somali man, marrying a american woman vs marrying a Somali woman.
I have a lot in common and common goals with my somali wife, same culture, language and norms. I can go back to somalia with her and I will never have an issue with anything
However, if I was to marry a palestinian, (which I have nothing against, open to the idea) there are now 3 if not 4 languages in the house, multiple cultures, multiple norms and expectations. Even our kids may not feel as accepted. How many half somali children do I know who are struggling with mental illness and imposter syndrome just because they don’t feel accepted and they don’t feel somali.
Over all, it’s better to stay with what you know
Oh I get it now. You settled for a french girl and you’re regretting the decision!
You want to take us down with you! No thanks, we’ve seen this story over and over. I’ll be here, safe with my Somali wife 👍 have fun
Isku xishood. You really thought you did something there, bro. 🤦🏿♂️
I can from the bottom of my heart say that not only do I have no regrets, I'm so fucking happy I don't have to deal with the community in that aspect.
Of course, there's a difference in marrying Somali/non-Somali, but you niggas have this weird attitude where you put Somali girls on a pedestal and chastise half-Somalis. It's bitch made and extremely feminine behaviour.
How is it feminine behaviour?
I understand there might be concerning Somali women out there but we find Somali women attractive the most. More attractive than these biracials girls or girls from other ethnicities. What you're going through is inferiority complex, you don't like how you look and find beauty outside of ur ethnicity.
You need some self love my guy, also u can find anything you find special in an ajnabi, in a Somali woman too. The difference is that Somali woman carry our values, culture and beliefs.
First I don't understand why you are shaming your cousins. So what if they re-married multiple times? At the end of the day, it was written for them. Just because they live in section 8 housing and have little education does not make you better than them. Nobody is superior to another human being, no job has less value than the other.
It doesn't matter how beautiful, educated, or wealthy you are. Marriage is barakah from Allah (swt). You need to make dua and pray tahajjud. There are tons of educated Somali brothers. Have tawakkul in Allahs plans for you.
It is always easy to blames others, it is insulting to say Somali men are gay. Marriage is gift from God and your age, qualifications and money will not bring a blessing marriage. Just be patient and tawakal calalaah.
People who moan about their dating pool are self snitching. You either aren’t attractive enough or you don’t have enough money - that’s the hard reality. Blaming others doesn’t change that
yeah tbh I’ve given up on marriage talks or shukaansi w somali men. I’m not actively looking anymore, if it happens cool if not then that’s ok too but I’ve stopped limiting myself. I’ve spent the past few years working on myself and Alhamdulillah I’m happy with that. I like somali guys and there are plenty of amazing somali men but they are quite rare. every day games, sexual inuendos, no akhlaaq or manners, no deen, no aspirations, no daqan, fake religious the list goes on. before you “not all men” peasants throw tomatoes at me relax pls. obviously I’m talking ab a specific category of men here.
stop comparing yourself to other women, worry about yourself and your life. I understand your feelings but I don’t think it’s appropriate to put other women down, it doesn’t make you look good sis. I think you should sit down with yourself and dig deeper bc this isn’t how anyone should be talking. nobody owes you marriage or anything regardless of your qualifications, looks, or money. I say this with love, but perhaps your entitlement is putting off the very same people you’re trying to approach. qadr is qadr and it was written a long time ago. work on yourself and leave the rest to Allah SWT.
Lool so true, I’ve often felt like “Allah, where was I when you were handing out miskeen men?” balaayada walaan are the only ones making moves, so it seems like there are only trash men around. For a shift in perspective, I would encourage scoping out guys for yourself first and initiating/encouraging with the ones that seem like good people. A whole different strategy 🧐
Sister my shukaansi is of the af mishaar scale I’m sincere/genuine and most importantly humble and without sounding like a cliche I have a lot of pathos that should be a aphrodisiac to you 💯
I’m not gonna lie, your attitude sounds horrible and humans read energy very well. I’m not surprised you’re not married either. 🤣
It’s not a coincidence that most people on here are picking up on your energy and none of us have anything nice to say 🤷🏽♀️
Bruh. Why don't Somali girls understand that men for the most part don't really want in women what women want in men? You mentioning your qualifications and income honestly means jack shit to a normal guy because those are your achievements and that's YOUR money.
I do kinda think Somali men are 'spoiled for choice', but this is a little exaggerated. You girls look around at your friends thinking they're perfectly fine and eligible women when to men they're just not that attractive of a prospect. I've never had to go through it, but being 27 and watching my friends go through it and witness all the clownery of getting married in the community... I don't envy them. It's not as easy as you girls seem to think, plenty of horror stories.
Numbers play a big role too. Somali women have an edge in terms of education, and generally speaking women don't marry 'down'. Not to mention the fact that a sizable subset of Somali men marry from back home thus removing themselves from the pool of eligible men. There's also less incentive and drive (cultural degradation and nacasnimo). Plus also marrying out is a factor. All those small factors add up in the big picture.
P.s. You give off proper toxic xalimo vibes 😂
Well it should matter because you guys are broke for the most part. Also in the west, only 2 income households can live a solid middle class, thats why a lot Somali families struggle in the projects. Anyways, for Somali guys, the truck drivers are considered the most “accomplished” these days lol and that’s pathetic. Even the few in my university studied social work or something bs.
Wherever I go i see successful smart accomplished Somali women but no men. That’s why Illhan Omar is the first Somali in congress! You voted for her didn’t you? But you claim her education doesn’t matter lol. Anyways, most somali men either have a small businesses that rely on government funding or you drive a truck or you work for the county or in warehouse jobs lol.
When you become accomplished educated men in large scale then you can say you don’t care about women’s education but when you’re struggling yourself then you really can’t afford to criticize women’s education or anything else for that matter. Don’t be xasid, be a man and take criticism like one.
Ilhan Omar was once married to a Somali man 😂😂
Once she got what she needed, he got dropped (poor guy) for a ajnabi cadaan. 😂
Imagine how sad that must be for him, supporting her on her dreams and goals. Even went against culture or Deen just for her to achieve her goals. Once she achieved it, she dropped him.
Just saying Somali men need to stop being a simp like the guy who was married to ilhan Omar. Understand that no woman will always be loyal to you not matter how much affection and love you give them. They will always leave according to their desires.
Ehmmm i am a fellow somali sister but im 16 and i just want to ask you how your nursing degree was and in what yiu specialise in as a nurse also does nurses really make that much money because people here in the uk have been complaining about it im really curious and i look forward reading your reply im sorry that i didnt answer your questions but im just really proud to see that you succeeded in what i want to succeed so i was like might aswell ask how her procces was
Canada and the US pay nurses well. I hear salary numbers for healthcare workers in Scandinavia and the UK and it’s shocking lol. Canada has free healthcare (taxpayer funded of course) too so I don’t know what the excuse is.
Hi sister, thanks! I got my 4 degree in RN. I work in the emergency department. I only been working 2 years now, my starting salary was $38 per hour my first year but then Covid happen and they bumped us up to $44. If you can get your Nursing degree in America that would be the best. The thing is here we study all the specialities together so we’re generalized. So for example I can work in ED or ICU or OBGYN. If you can pass the state license you can easily find work.
It’s really good career because even after you have kids you can work like 3 shift and still be home for your babies Insha’Allah. My next plan is either become Nurse Practitioner which is 2 year program and then I won’t have to do beside nurse. Another option is to become nurse anesthetist, which is also 2-3 year program and you can make $200k.
I would advice you to speak with the nursing agency in your country to get info on the best pathway to work in America. I think it use to be easier but I just googled it for you and it says they changed the requirement recently for Uk nurses.
If you have more specific question let me know. I can also find you the phone numbers for the state you’re interested in so you can directly get info from them for their license requirement.
😂
Naa heedhe, I'm still single!
And earlier today I saw my first gray hair strand.
It's official - I've become the spinster legend of Somali subreddit!
Don’t worry I got a bunch of cousins on deck oo so taggan. If the situation gets dire just holla … someone really needs to build a portfolio of available Somali ppl tho
Okay I'm gonna speak for my Somali friends and I. We're educated al hamdulilah and we all work. What is holding me back is just the fact that I wanna build myself first. I wanna be ready and right now all I'm doing is stacking up and taking care of myself. As for my friends, you sound like a catch! I would love to introduce you to them.
Imagine being married to a nasty, entitled woman like you.
And your money and degrees mean nothing to a man, get that through your thick head.
I advice you marry that Turk or nearest Jamaica and exit left from our gene pool.
Quality Somali men are shy & mostly stay at home, if you want a quality Somali man go to the places that quality people go to (university library on a Friday night outside of exam period for example).
Many European Somali men (except for British Somalis as they're the worst) would dream of knowing a person with your success and way of thinking.
The German, Swiss, French, Austrian, Finnish or Scandinavian diaspora is of good quality and speaks very good English, I encourage you to communicate with them.
Do not hesitate to contact the Somali Gen Xers and older Gen Yers as they've been through what you're going through and would be able to put you in contact with good & local Somali men (the stay at home & hard-working type).
If you encounter animosity with your post, just know that it is because you're intimidating these bums, fortunately Somalis on Somalispot & Reddit are the exception & not the rule.
Good luck in your adventures, I believe in you and am proud of your accomplishments.
Mate, we have to admit it, Somali girls are doing a lot better than us Somali boys.
They have every right to be frustrated and we are lucky to have them.
I want the well-being and success of all Somalis & us boys need to catch up or else we will lose them.
I congratulate her on her success and encourage you all to do your best.
I like to think that I am fulfilling my part by being about to get my masters in computer science.
God bless our Somali queens.
I started working at a hospital recently and I was surprised to find we have FIVE Somali MDs out of a total of 20 and they were all guys. Mashallah. I think Somali guys are doing well for themselves but they are not as vocal about it as women.
girl… these “party girls” and “single mothers” clearly put themselves out there in the dating scene… have you tried dating apps etc if you can’t get your parents to match you with a suitable partner? Try Muzmatch and expand your dating options across all races if you want to be married. You already know that you can’t find a Somali guy who fits your standard, so why would you limit yourself?
Somali women who are interested in marriage with a honest and loyal man need to wake up and start dating non-Somali men.
Most Somali men hate women (esp Somali) and they’re underperforming in the West. They use Islam and the daqan to control women. They love running through women, marrying impregnating and moving on to the next one. They don’t care for women at all but love being around and impressing their male friends, which is classic DL behavior. Yeah there are good Somali men out there but they’re like unicorns. Many claim to be nice guys but they’re anything but.
To my sisters who are still praying for a good Somali man 🙏🏽
At what point is self-reflection on the table? You girls have been pondering and calacaaling over Somali men for ages now claiming y'all done. Wallahi, do you hear yourselves? Accusing Somali men of being homosexuals before even considering that maybe, just maybe y'all the problem too? 💀💀💀 This myth that you girls somehow beat off these honest, respectful and loyal ajnabi men in favour of a Faarax kang is the biggest lie y'all peddle. It's about time someone said it cause niggas is walking on egg shells. Legit, do what you want laakin fadlan walaal, beenta naga daa. You get treated like garbage by ajnabis just like you do by Faaraxs. No disrespect, but that's peak delusion.
I don’t think there’s real hate between young Somali men and women, it’s just these few people on Reddit and Instagram pushing that narrative. In my opinion, what the issue is these young people (25-30, I’m 29) thinking they can find a spouse (husband or wife) on social media.if you’re really serious talk to your aunts, uncles, cousins, and or close family members about what you want in a spouse and see if they know someone. Those people will have your best interest in mind and good chance you’ll find the person u want.
I honestly disagree man. When are we going to admit these are real people expressing their feelings? Of course, like with everything else - the internet exaggerates things. That isn't to say the enmity isn't real.
For a myriad of reasons, the reality on the ground is that most Somali women in the diaspora under 30 come with problems. So many repressed and unresolved issues that manifest against their male counterparts is bookey ways. Before y'all yell at me, of course it isn't every girl but you have better chance succeeding with an ajnabi girl or marrying from back home than rolling a dice on the girl you went to class with.
I agree with you. I’m 29 married. We’re both high income earners, college educated, and raised here in America. I see the challenges, especially our Somali sisters, are facing when it comes to marriage. One thing OP is right above is there’s a big gap between young Somali sisters/brothers. I don’t blame the OP looking for someone in her economic level (she should). My point above was I don’t think looking through social media including dating apps will find you a good spouse. Someone mentioned it in this thread but the young people who are marriage qualified most likely won’t have a social media presence. So best way to find them is through your community/family connections. That’s my opinion.
Masha'Allah. That's great to hear.
As much as I am brash with my words, I acknowledge there is validity to their claim. I certainly believe it's harder for Somali women to get married in the community than it is for men. Women across the board prefer someone of their own education level, and that's fine. Problematic in the Somali community, but obviously not their fault. But on the flip side... while the odds for the 'right' men are good, the goods are just odd. I'm mildly exaggerating, but there's an unnatural disconnect between the men and women. That is me politely saying, a lot of Somali women just aren't attractive for marriage purposes and a degree doesn't change that.
It's weird how us men and genuinely take on the unrelenting criticism you throw at us, but you refuse to direct a fraction of that energy into introspection. Like no cap, if all these great men are interested in Somali women, why is there such a massive issue with singledom and divorce among Somali women? Arab and Pakistani girls get snatched up left and right.
For real, many of your complaints are legitimate, but to pretend there isn't a serious issue amongst yourselves ... waa waali caadi.
I'll personally never marry from back home. The culture gap is too big for me to put up with, plus other subjective problems I have with that. I'm much more comfortable sticking to women in this Muslim melting pot irrespective of ethnicity. But there are plenty of masakeen Faaraxs that go back, and quite frankly all the power to them.
Notice how you insist that Arab, Asian etc. women are so meek and 'controlled' by their culture. That is what a lot of you Somali girls fundamentally misunderstand. Arab and Asian women are highly valued by themselves first and foremost, by their community second, and precisely because of that - by outsiders like myself. You call their communities toxic because of a small, barbaric cultural practice. Why don't you say the same thing about Somalis who face 1000x more issues?
You're making it out as if 'submissiveness' is a bad trait. As if they're undignified. Meanwhile in reality, they have homes, they families that value them, and husbands that give their rights- and you're banging on about honor killing and painting a caricature of their cultures.
It's weird how it's only madow (including Somali) women that talk like this. You know why? Because our communities are thoroughly broken at the lowest level. Being forced to be independent (by our failures) is not a flex walaalo.
You also seem to be insinuating that Somali women have some sort of loyalty to Somali men, but that's just not true. Somali women are **notorious** for their willingness to marry any and everything. Every ajnabi that knows something about Somalis knows that we're the easiest community to marry into. It's like Somali girls failed to understand basic human psychology. The reason why these bum ajnabis feel straight up entitled to Somali women, and not Arab/Pakistani/Indian/Eritrean/Ethiopian women is by basic demand and supply. That's why ajnabi rejects feel *entitled* to Somali women.
I'm saying this as a man. The way you jumped into thread talking about how ajnabi men of all types 'feel' Somali women. If you were a man, you'd know that the way niggas talk about Somali women has a subtle layer of disrespect to it. The constant sexualization and fetishization comes from an underlying lack of respect, but because of our cultural dynamics and relative conservativeness y'all misinterpret this. Not as bad, but we're bordering on being the Thai of the Muslim/East African world. If you don't know, that's not a good thing.
lol I'm just calling you out on your bullshit abaayo macaan. You say that, yet it's Somali women overrepresented on every marriage app, thread, masjid etc. Literally nobody is holding on and you know it. Y'all the most perpetually single women out there by a mile. Arab, Desi, etc. women get snatched up with quickness as soon as they open their pool up because they're actually attractive, have akhlaaq and carry prestige. While you girls have been screaming your lungs out for a hot minute, and somehow you still calacaaling about Somali men when we're not even in the equation
This is why I tell my young brothers to go back home and get married. I have never seen a young pretty girl have issues getting married, unless she comes with problems such as being a local Thot or something similar. I reckon she is either ugly or a dhilo or maybe even both. No nigga cares about how much you make also you’re Attitude stinks. Why would any successful Somali man look at you. You smell dumb dhilo.
Also Somali males are all spoiled for choice and I can understand that makes you stressed. You know competition is tough so why are you making it harder on yourself to land a man. There is always a better Behaved and prettier woman. Wallahi you’re problem a dead ting.
Let be honest, Somali sisters are 4 to 1 ratio to somali men and there frustration coming from two things:
First, Every eligible Somali guy with a good reputation needs to create a home-based Somali culture, where the husband is the leader of the household, and that is why a lot of brothers going back home to get married.
Secondly, most of the mature Somali sisters in the west are over 32-35 because of career and family obligations fulfill, for that reason, a lot of Somali guys prefer 19-23 yrs old sister back home treating him like a king instead of marrying a Somali sister working 9-5 hours...
Troll vipes, or is it an American phenomenon, since most EU working Somali women get married to Somali men, either during their degree or after. I know many engaged Somali couples who study in the same college
Us Somalis need to get off the internet seriously, especially Somali women. When I try to search anything about Somali on the internet, it's always Somali women insulting or degrading Somali men. At one point, Somali women are calling us Somali men 'sexual assualters' and on another point, they're calling us under performers and feminine or gay. Then they say most Somali men are broke or not to their level of education.
What do you women want!?
Like just pick something and can't you live your life without degrading random Somali men?
If you feel like Somali men aren't in your level then go marry someone that is, whether he is Somali or not. But just stop degrading us, literally Somali women are ck blocking us from getting married to ajnabis or other Somali women because they're spreading rumours like they're "R" or feminine or broke.
You don't see us men on the internet degrade Somali women. Please tell me one viral video of a Somali man making a whole channel about how bad Somali women are...
At the risk of responding to a troll, you’re supposedly 24 years old and you’re writing post a like this. Maturity isn’t just in salary. I’m not surprised you’re not married lol.
Oof
Hahaha that title made me Laugh, I can tell you're the crazy type. You will definitely send a miskeen to the icu due to burns in your lifetime.
Giiiiirl. Come on, you make some wild assumptions in your post. Secretly gay? But you're right. Obv this is an issue in the Somali diaspora, and I think some of the presumably young men who've responded in this thread are right. There are many men who don't find the qualities you (and I, in my previous post) described as attractive. Career, high income etc are not qualities in their eyes. But still...while I truly believe them when they write that "no man cares about the woman's income" or "career", they seem quite naïve in assuming that it isn't an issue for some men from socially conservative cultures as ours. I've been on my fair share of dates with Somali fellas who seemed really allright with who I am to begin with, but like a month and 3-4 dates in began repeatedly asking if I reaaaaally would accept a bus driver. Yeah, I would, until you asked me that question 5 times in a row. But relax, it gets better. I'm still single and at the moment by choice, but my friend I mentioned in my original thread has found her *oday*. A brilliant and amazing guy whom she matches perfectly with. You do you and it will work out!
With an attitude and outlook like that im honestly super surprised you are still single. I hope you find someone worthy.
And I'm not even ugly. I got all my teeth and stuff. Just kidding. But thanks for your kind words. I think it's just that I'm too paradoxical for some people. On the one hand, I'm very much invested in *somalinimo* - the language, culture, traditions, people and politics. And I know many who fit that bill and who I'd probably be compatible with. But then, I'm also very much a Norwegian, socialist nerd who loves hiking in the woods while discussing the merits of the welfare state, going to the theatre and conversing about the latest literary scandal between acts or just staying at home, periodically introverted, to watch all seasons of Star Trek. So, that's my dating profile, lol. Find me an *oday* that doesn't necessarily agree with me in all things or shares all my interests, but at least can appreciate all my weirdness. And then I'll be forever grateful lol.
and you are also a Trekkie, Allah could you be more perfect!
Wait...so you don't have all your teeth? Might be a tough sell still lol. Jk...ill keep an eye out!
Please tell me you love Next Generation
Agreed
Some are do you hate that ?
Hi sister if you are really looking for a excellent marriage prospect I would like to get to know you 💯🤲🙏
💀💀😭😭🤣🤣
This girl doesn’t understand that Somali men have an ‘abundance mindset’ from birth. We aren’t pathetic and desperate like those ajanabis that fetish you so if we don’t approach you there is clearly something off about you.
A lot of the eligible guys don’t feel like they’re ready yet or they keep to themselves and don’t know where/how to start looking
High standards, Educated faraxs with degrees want either an ajanabi or the most beautiful somali girl they can find And the educated and beautiful xaalimos want the richest and most educated man. The rest of the average population is having no issues. It’s just a very loud minority
My siblings and I are educated Somali men and we will never settle for an ajnabi. I personally love my culture too much to let this happen and I want to fully instill this culture in my children.
'Settle' kulaha. It's 2021, I'm watching that exact mentality blow up in people's faces, but people don't learn
I don't understand, english is my 3rd language, could you please rephrase that ? Thank you.
I'm saying Somali guys like you need to drop the mindset that Somali girls are better than ajnabi women. It's not doing you any favors
Somali girls will always be better for somali men, it only differs in case by case
That makes no sense. I'm not arguing for every Somali to marry an ajnabi. That's ridiculous. But this prevalent idea among Somalis that another Somali is inherently better spouse material is straight up retarded. Why pretend like you don't have an insane overlap with other Muslim community? There's barely a difference in marrying a Palestinian chick and marrying a Somali chick in the diaspora.
There’s a big difference between me, a Somali man, marrying a american woman vs marrying a Somali woman. I have a lot in common and common goals with my somali wife, same culture, language and norms. I can go back to somalia with her and I will never have an issue with anything However, if I was to marry a palestinian, (which I have nothing against, open to the idea) there are now 3 if not 4 languages in the house, multiple cultures, multiple norms and expectations. Even our kids may not feel as accepted. How many half somali children do I know who are struggling with mental illness and imposter syndrome just because they don’t feel accepted and they don’t feel somali. Over all, it’s better to stay with what you know
Oh I get it now. You settled for a french girl and you’re regretting the decision! You want to take us down with you! No thanks, we’ve seen this story over and over. I’ll be here, safe with my Somali wife 👍 have fun
Isku xishood. You really thought you did something there, bro. 🤦🏿♂️ I can from the bottom of my heart say that not only do I have no regrets, I'm so fucking happy I don't have to deal with the community in that aspect. Of course, there's a difference in marrying Somali/non-Somali, but you niggas have this weird attitude where you put Somali girls on a pedestal and chastise half-Somalis. It's bitch made and extremely feminine behaviour.
How is it feminine behaviour? I understand there might be concerning Somali women out there but we find Somali women attractive the most. More attractive than these biracials girls or girls from other ethnicities. What you're going through is inferiority complex, you don't like how you look and find beauty outside of ur ethnicity. You need some self love my guy, also u can find anything you find special in an ajnabi, in a Somali woman too. The difference is that Somali woman carry our values, culture and beliefs.
First I don't understand why you are shaming your cousins. So what if they re-married multiple times? At the end of the day, it was written for them. Just because they live in section 8 housing and have little education does not make you better than them. Nobody is superior to another human being, no job has less value than the other. It doesn't matter how beautiful, educated, or wealthy you are. Marriage is barakah from Allah (swt). You need to make dua and pray tahajjud. There are tons of educated Somali brothers. Have tawakkul in Allahs plans for you.
MashAllah enlightened attitude walal.
It is always easy to blames others, it is insulting to say Somali men are gay. Marriage is gift from God and your age, qualifications and money will not bring a blessing marriage. Just be patient and tawakal calalaah.
People who moan about their dating pool are self snitching. You either aren’t attractive enough or you don’t have enough money - that’s the hard reality. Blaming others doesn’t change that
yeah tbh I’ve given up on marriage talks or shukaansi w somali men. I’m not actively looking anymore, if it happens cool if not then that’s ok too but I’ve stopped limiting myself. I’ve spent the past few years working on myself and Alhamdulillah I’m happy with that. I like somali guys and there are plenty of amazing somali men but they are quite rare. every day games, sexual inuendos, no akhlaaq or manners, no deen, no aspirations, no daqan, fake religious the list goes on. before you “not all men” peasants throw tomatoes at me relax pls. obviously I’m talking ab a specific category of men here. stop comparing yourself to other women, worry about yourself and your life. I understand your feelings but I don’t think it’s appropriate to put other women down, it doesn’t make you look good sis. I think you should sit down with yourself and dig deeper bc this isn’t how anyone should be talking. nobody owes you marriage or anything regardless of your qualifications, looks, or money. I say this with love, but perhaps your entitlement is putting off the very same people you’re trying to approach. qadr is qadr and it was written a long time ago. work on yourself and leave the rest to Allah SWT.
Lool so true, I’ve often felt like “Allah, where was I when you were handing out miskeen men?” balaayada walaan are the only ones making moves, so it seems like there are only trash men around. For a shift in perspective, I would encourage scoping out guys for yourself first and initiating/encouraging with the ones that seem like good people. A whole different strategy 🧐
Sister my shukaansi is of the af mishaar scale I’m sincere/genuine and most importantly humble and without sounding like a cliche I have a lot of pathos that should be a aphrodisiac to you 💯
I’m not gonna lie, your attitude sounds horrible and humans read energy very well. I’m not surprised you’re not married either. 🤣 It’s not a coincidence that most people on here are picking up on your energy and none of us have anything nice to say 🤷🏽♀️
Bruh. Why don't Somali girls understand that men for the most part don't really want in women what women want in men? You mentioning your qualifications and income honestly means jack shit to a normal guy because those are your achievements and that's YOUR money. I do kinda think Somali men are 'spoiled for choice', but this is a little exaggerated. You girls look around at your friends thinking they're perfectly fine and eligible women when to men they're just not that attractive of a prospect. I've never had to go through it, but being 27 and watching my friends go through it and witness all the clownery of getting married in the community... I don't envy them. It's not as easy as you girls seem to think, plenty of horror stories. Numbers play a big role too. Somali women have an edge in terms of education, and generally speaking women don't marry 'down'. Not to mention the fact that a sizable subset of Somali men marry from back home thus removing themselves from the pool of eligible men. There's also less incentive and drive (cultural degradation and nacasnimo). Plus also marrying out is a factor. All those small factors add up in the big picture. P.s. You give off proper toxic xalimo vibes 😂
Well it should matter because you guys are broke for the most part. Also in the west, only 2 income households can live a solid middle class, thats why a lot Somali families struggle in the projects. Anyways, for Somali guys, the truck drivers are considered the most “accomplished” these days lol and that’s pathetic. Even the few in my university studied social work or something bs. Wherever I go i see successful smart accomplished Somali women but no men. That’s why Illhan Omar is the first Somali in congress! You voted for her didn’t you? But you claim her education doesn’t matter lol. Anyways, most somali men either have a small businesses that rely on government funding or you drive a truck or you work for the county or in warehouse jobs lol. When you become accomplished educated men in large scale then you can say you don’t care about women’s education but when you’re struggling yourself then you really can’t afford to criticize women’s education or anything else for that matter. Don’t be xasid, be a man and take criticism like one.
Ilhan Omar was once married to a Somali man 😂😂 Once she got what she needed, he got dropped (poor guy) for a ajnabi cadaan. 😂 Imagine how sad that must be for him, supporting her on her dreams and goals. Even went against culture or Deen just for her to achieve her goals. Once she achieved it, she dropped him. Just saying Somali men need to stop being a simp like the guy who was married to ilhan Omar. Understand that no woman will always be loyal to you not matter how much affection and love you give them. They will always leave according to their desires.
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Ehmmm i am a fellow somali sister but im 16 and i just want to ask you how your nursing degree was and in what yiu specialise in as a nurse also does nurses really make that much money because people here in the uk have been complaining about it im really curious and i look forward reading your reply im sorry that i didnt answer your questions but im just really proud to see that you succeeded in what i want to succeed so i was like might aswell ask how her procces was
Nurses are usually underpaid here in scandinavia
Canada and the US pay nurses well. I hear salary numbers for healthcare workers in Scandinavia and the UK and it’s shocking lol. Canada has free healthcare (taxpayer funded of course) too so I don’t know what the excuse is.
I think we still get paid more I heard even more then Canada.
Hi sister, thanks! I got my 4 degree in RN. I work in the emergency department. I only been working 2 years now, my starting salary was $38 per hour my first year but then Covid happen and they bumped us up to $44. If you can get your Nursing degree in America that would be the best. The thing is here we study all the specialities together so we’re generalized. So for example I can work in ED or ICU or OBGYN. If you can pass the state license you can easily find work. It’s really good career because even after you have kids you can work like 3 shift and still be home for your babies Insha’Allah. My next plan is either become Nurse Practitioner which is 2 year program and then I won’t have to do beside nurse. Another option is to become nurse anesthetist, which is also 2-3 year program and you can make $200k. I would advice you to speak with the nursing agency in your country to get info on the best pathway to work in America. I think it use to be easier but I just googled it for you and it says they changed the requirement recently for Uk nurses. If you have more specific question let me know. I can also find you the phone numbers for the state you’re interested in so you can directly get info from them for their license requirement.
Ok if you are really a nurse please hit me up for a opportunity and i’m Somali man in my early 30’s looking for a good marriage prospect
Lmao @ this post u/agg_aphrophilus they linked your post 😂😂
😂 Naa heedhe, I'm still single! And earlier today I saw my first gray hair strand. It's official - I've become the spinster legend of Somali subreddit!
Don’t worry I got a bunch of cousins on deck oo so taggan. If the situation gets dire just holla … someone really needs to build a portfolio of available Somali ppl tho
Calling Somali guys gay because they don't want to date you. Okay femcel.
Be Humble and don't call us Gays because we don't don't approach. May Allah make matters easy for you.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Okay I'm gonna speak for my Somali friends and I. We're educated al hamdulilah and we all work. What is holding me back is just the fact that I wanna build myself first. I wanna be ready and right now all I'm doing is stacking up and taking care of myself. As for my friends, you sound like a catch! I would love to introduce you to them.
Imagine being married to a nasty, entitled woman like you. And your money and degrees mean nothing to a man, get that through your thick head. I advice you marry that Turk or nearest Jamaica and exit left from our gene pool.
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Electricians make a ton of money sxb lol
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Working in a cubicle gives you more status?
It is a natural law that while a woman considers the wealth of a man but men don’t care about education or her money. Even if he is a bus driver.
Layoff the red pill videos brother, although you are right. That shit is toxic
Wtf is “red pill”?
What is the obsession with Jamaicans?
I would like to know also
Quality Somali men are shy & mostly stay at home, if you want a quality Somali man go to the places that quality people go to (university library on a Friday night outside of exam period for example). Many European Somali men (except for British Somalis as they're the worst) would dream of knowing a person with your success and way of thinking. The German, Swiss, French, Austrian, Finnish or Scandinavian diaspora is of good quality and speaks very good English, I encourage you to communicate with them. Do not hesitate to contact the Somali Gen Xers and older Gen Yers as they've been through what you're going through and would be able to put you in contact with good & local Somali men (the stay at home & hard-working type). If you encounter animosity with your post, just know that it is because you're intimidating these bums, fortunately Somalis on Somalispot & Reddit are the exception & not the rule. Good luck in your adventures, I believe in you and am proud of your accomplishments.
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Mate, we have to admit it, Somali girls are doing a lot better than us Somali boys. They have every right to be frustrated and we are lucky to have them. I want the well-being and success of all Somalis & us boys need to catch up or else we will lose them. I congratulate her on her success and encourage you all to do your best. I like to think that I am fulfilling my part by being about to get my masters in computer science. God bless our Somali queens.
I started working at a hospital recently and I was surprised to find we have FIVE Somali MDs out of a total of 20 and they were all guys. Mashallah. I think Somali guys are doing well for themselves but they are not as vocal about it as women.
That's awesome ! & yes, you're totally right, Somali men remain quite humble with their achievements 😌
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She was trying to hold Somali men accountable but I guess that’s not allowed? 🤔
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U might need to have your eyes checked
girl… these “party girls” and “single mothers” clearly put themselves out there in the dating scene… have you tried dating apps etc if you can’t get your parents to match you with a suitable partner? Try Muzmatch and expand your dating options across all races if you want to be married. You already know that you can’t find a Somali guy who fits your standard, so why would you limit yourself?
Don’t want to be mean but have you considered the fact that your not attractive. Just because a guy doesn’t like you doesn’t make them gay.
Maybe you are just ugly.
Girl bye 👋
Hahahhahaha
Secretly gay? Somalis are the most homogenous group of people in Africa. Somali men marry Somali women. This Xalimo is insecure!
Somali women who are interested in marriage with a honest and loyal man need to wake up and start dating non-Somali men. Most Somali men hate women (esp Somali) and they’re underperforming in the West. They use Islam and the daqan to control women. They love running through women, marrying impregnating and moving on to the next one. They don’t care for women at all but love being around and impressing their male friends, which is classic DL behavior. Yeah there are good Somali men out there but they’re like unicorns. Many claim to be nice guys but they’re anything but. To my sisters who are still praying for a good Somali man 🙏🏽
At what point is self-reflection on the table? You girls have been pondering and calacaaling over Somali men for ages now claiming y'all done. Wallahi, do you hear yourselves? Accusing Somali men of being homosexuals before even considering that maybe, just maybe y'all the problem too? 💀💀💀 This myth that you girls somehow beat off these honest, respectful and loyal ajnabi men in favour of a Faarax kang is the biggest lie y'all peddle. It's about time someone said it cause niggas is walking on egg shells. Legit, do what you want laakin fadlan walaal, beenta naga daa. You get treated like garbage by ajnabis just like you do by Faaraxs. No disrespect, but that's peak delusion.
I don’t think there’s real hate between young Somali men and women, it’s just these few people on Reddit and Instagram pushing that narrative. In my opinion, what the issue is these young people (25-30, I’m 29) thinking they can find a spouse (husband or wife) on social media.if you’re really serious talk to your aunts, uncles, cousins, and or close family members about what you want in a spouse and see if they know someone. Those people will have your best interest in mind and good chance you’ll find the person u want.
I honestly disagree man. When are we going to admit these are real people expressing their feelings? Of course, like with everything else - the internet exaggerates things. That isn't to say the enmity isn't real. For a myriad of reasons, the reality on the ground is that most Somali women in the diaspora under 30 come with problems. So many repressed and unresolved issues that manifest against their male counterparts is bookey ways. Before y'all yell at me, of course it isn't every girl but you have better chance succeeding with an ajnabi girl or marrying from back home than rolling a dice on the girl you went to class with.
I agree with you. I’m 29 married. We’re both high income earners, college educated, and raised here in America. I see the challenges, especially our Somali sisters, are facing when it comes to marriage. One thing OP is right above is there’s a big gap between young Somali sisters/brothers. I don’t blame the OP looking for someone in her economic level (she should). My point above was I don’t think looking through social media including dating apps will find you a good spouse. Someone mentioned it in this thread but the young people who are marriage qualified most likely won’t have a social media presence. So best way to find them is through your community/family connections. That’s my opinion.
Masha'Allah. That's great to hear. As much as I am brash with my words, I acknowledge there is validity to their claim. I certainly believe it's harder for Somali women to get married in the community than it is for men. Women across the board prefer someone of their own education level, and that's fine. Problematic in the Somali community, but obviously not their fault. But on the flip side... while the odds for the 'right' men are good, the goods are just odd. I'm mildly exaggerating, but there's an unnatural disconnect between the men and women. That is me politely saying, a lot of Somali women just aren't attractive for marriage purposes and a degree doesn't change that.
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It's weird how us men and genuinely take on the unrelenting criticism you throw at us, but you refuse to direct a fraction of that energy into introspection. Like no cap, if all these great men are interested in Somali women, why is there such a massive issue with singledom and divorce among Somali women? Arab and Pakistani girls get snatched up left and right. For real, many of your complaints are legitimate, but to pretend there isn't a serious issue amongst yourselves ... waa waali caadi. I'll personally never marry from back home. The culture gap is too big for me to put up with, plus other subjective problems I have with that. I'm much more comfortable sticking to women in this Muslim melting pot irrespective of ethnicity. But there are plenty of masakeen Faaraxs that go back, and quite frankly all the power to them.
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Notice how you insist that Arab, Asian etc. women are so meek and 'controlled' by their culture. That is what a lot of you Somali girls fundamentally misunderstand. Arab and Asian women are highly valued by themselves first and foremost, by their community second, and precisely because of that - by outsiders like myself. You call their communities toxic because of a small, barbaric cultural practice. Why don't you say the same thing about Somalis who face 1000x more issues? You're making it out as if 'submissiveness' is a bad trait. As if they're undignified. Meanwhile in reality, they have homes, they families that value them, and husbands that give their rights- and you're banging on about honor killing and painting a caricature of their cultures. It's weird how it's only madow (including Somali) women that talk like this. You know why? Because our communities are thoroughly broken at the lowest level. Being forced to be independent (by our failures) is not a flex walaalo. You also seem to be insinuating that Somali women have some sort of loyalty to Somali men, but that's just not true. Somali women are **notorious** for their willingness to marry any and everything. Every ajnabi that knows something about Somalis knows that we're the easiest community to marry into. It's like Somali girls failed to understand basic human psychology. The reason why these bum ajnabis feel straight up entitled to Somali women, and not Arab/Pakistani/Indian/Eritrean/Ethiopian women is by basic demand and supply. That's why ajnabi rejects feel *entitled* to Somali women. I'm saying this as a man. The way you jumped into thread talking about how ajnabi men of all types 'feel' Somali women. If you were a man, you'd know that the way niggas talk about Somali women has a subtle layer of disrespect to it. The constant sexualization and fetishization comes from an underlying lack of respect, but because of our cultural dynamics and relative conservativeness y'all misinterpret this. Not as bad, but we're bordering on being the Thai of the Muslim/East African world. If you don't know, that's not a good thing.
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lol I'm just calling you out on your bullshit abaayo macaan. You say that, yet it's Somali women overrepresented on every marriage app, thread, masjid etc. Literally nobody is holding on and you know it. Y'all the most perpetually single women out there by a mile. Arab, Desi, etc. women get snatched up with quickness as soon as they open their pool up because they're actually attractive, have akhlaaq and carry prestige. While you girls have been screaming your lungs out for a hot minute, and somehow you still calacaaling about Somali men when we're not even in the equation
I tried to disagree with you but I couldn't 😂😂 But come on man, go easy on them a little bit atleast
💀💀💀 That came across harsh and blunt as hell. It took me a minute to realize I wrote that.
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YoU soUnD HuRt Oof you really got me there 😭😭 Anyway I know you know I'm right and that annoys you, but have a good day walaal.
This is why I tell my young brothers to go back home and get married. I have never seen a young pretty girl have issues getting married, unless she comes with problems such as being a local Thot or something similar. I reckon she is either ugly or a dhilo or maybe even both. No nigga cares about how much you make also you’re Attitude stinks. Why would any successful Somali man look at you. You smell dumb dhilo.
Also Somali males are all spoiled for choice and I can understand that makes you stressed. You know competition is tough so why are you making it harder on yourself to land a man. There is always a better Behaved and prettier woman. Wallahi you’re problem a dead ting.
What does spoiled for choice mean?
Have a lot to pick from
Thank you ! I was confused
Let be honest, Somali sisters are 4 to 1 ratio to somali men and there frustration coming from two things: First, Every eligible Somali guy with a good reputation needs to create a home-based Somali culture, where the husband is the leader of the household, and that is why a lot of brothers going back home to get married. Secondly, most of the mature Somali sisters in the west are over 32-35 because of career and family obligations fulfill, for that reason, a lot of Somali guys prefer 19-23 yrs old sister back home treating him like a king instead of marrying a Somali sister working 9-5 hours...
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Troll vipes, or is it an American phenomenon, since most EU working Somali women get married to Somali men, either during their degree or after. I know many engaged Somali couples who study in the same college
Us Somalis need to get off the internet seriously, especially Somali women. When I try to search anything about Somali on the internet, it's always Somali women insulting or degrading Somali men. At one point, Somali women are calling us Somali men 'sexual assualters' and on another point, they're calling us under performers and feminine or gay. Then they say most Somali men are broke or not to their level of education. What do you women want!? Like just pick something and can't you live your life without degrading random Somali men? If you feel like Somali men aren't in your level then go marry someone that is, whether he is Somali or not. But just stop degrading us, literally Somali women are ck blocking us from getting married to ajnabis or other Somali women because they're spreading rumours like they're "R" or feminine or broke. You don't see us men on the internet degrade Somali women. Please tell me one viral video of a Somali man making a whole channel about how bad Somali women are...