Just go for it, like you said your dad would eventually get over it (and you know him best). Usually our parents bark is louder then their bite. Make sure you have your your finances sorted and a place rented first before announcing it. Loop one of your siblings in since you have good relationships - it's best to have someone else on side and it looks less sneaky on your part (preferably an older sibling) Good luck !


This has been an open conversation between my siblings and I. Although I'm sure they think won't think I'm serious until it happens. I have close to a year left until the end of my program. I'm outright telling them now, but my dad will know last for obvious reasons.


Good luck


There will be a lot of complaining and telling you every reason why it won’t work. But trust me saaxib it is worth it. Living with hoyoo and abo is great lakeen there is so much for you to gain from living on your own. Moving out has really made me appreciate my family more and especially hoyoo but I have never doubted my decision. Living away from home allows you to grow into the person you are meant to be, it allows you the space to fully pursue your life and aspirations. I really pray everything works out for you Inshallah!


I don't have experience with this, i don't believe my parents would care oddly enough ( I sometimes think they want me out 😂). Anyways I'd just save up and get an apartment then tell them after you move. It will cause issues but Inshallah they'll come around.


Well I had a toxic relationship and just moved out with no announcement so take my advice with a grain of salt. What I suggest is making sure you have everything arranged to move out and then let him know you are moving out and why. If you want, you can sugarcoat and just say you’d like to try and be independent or something like that. From what you’ve said, he will probably take it badly but stick to your ground. My mom was very angry when I left but after about 6 months she came around and wasn’t mad anymore. She still didn’t understand my reasoning for leaving but she came to terms with it. So yeah, it will be very hard at first and you seem prepared for that so just do it! You got this.


I agree with you that I will just sugarcoat it. If I were younger, I might direct more hurtful comments, but I have no interest in making this into a blame game. The best thing is to keep it on topic and have everything set in order. Deal with the repercussions afterward. Are you a woman by any chance? Any accusations throw your way?


yes i'm woman, which made it harder because there was all kinds of rumors going around about me within the somali community in my town, which wouldn't have happened if i was a man. It wasn't a problem with my parent because theyre not the sexist type, if i was their son they would have reacted the same way.


Your Feelings Is What Matters, if you’r Able to Fend for yourself You shouldn’t Worry about Bridges Burning, Get out if you can.


as a dude, this is intriguing to me because i'm the eldest (24) and right now working from home. I proposed moving out after college and my parents hit me with the "so you're gonna leave us and roam the streets" type argument, also mentioning how the money im paying on rent could be paid towards helping out the family. They basically guilt-trapped me and i live in Dubai so they kinda do have a point and with the rent being high i was out of counter-arguments. however, im preparing to quit this work-from-home job and get a higher paying job to finally move out and they said that is fine. anyway i dont see my little sister (1 year younger) moving out until she gets married. I dont know what your reasons are for moving out but if youre so hell-bent on getting out of home all power to you. I understand his frustration though, as well as yours (kinda). I hope you guys find a middle ground


Thank you for your response. Maybe your perspective living in the UAE is why this situation seems intriguing? I have to say that for women, it's a lot harder to move out since the guilt is ramped up to an unreasonable degree. If a son (albeit a grown man) leaves society sees it as distasteful. If a woman (even if she has good standing) leaves, it's a betrayal.


why do u think that is? i understand why the son is seen as distasteful but at some point he got to move out. what do you think about the woman being seen ineligible to move out unless in another man's custoday and why?


Walaal I am still asking myself that same question. After thinking about it it may be boiled down to two things: 1. Promiscuity- the fear that she will be used or she will have the freedom to use men with such independence. They don't need look too far to see examples of this set by non -Muslim women and Muslim "whores". It brings into question if she is innocent (virgin) and her value in the marriage market decreases with this questioning. Although most parents won't admit it, I believe this is a deep fear that our society has and it is what is driving this sexist treatment. 2. Women are seen as more emotional and in tune with their parent's emotions then men are. Being baari is an **expectation** from daughters. Boys are often forgiven for being disrespectful and hurtful to their family since he doesn't mature in their opinion. "he doesn't mean it.. boys will be boys.. one day he will learn." As for a daughter, her actions are seen in a more malicious and with cruel intent because she **should** know better. Why would she choose to leave her loving family in that case?


Facts. I can see it being a combination of both? With thr first being more prominent of course. That said, where do you stand? Personally I think if I know my daughter working and coming home to me and my wife any older than 27 I wouldn't be very comfortable. But then again I would worry about her being out there on her own too, so there is that. I see the reason for frustration in both cases but honestly speaking it does probably more harm than good to move out as a single woman. Having a roommate would probably ease their minds a little bit? What about you? what are your reasons to move out?


I outlined the problems above. Sometimes people get closer with space and distance and I think that the best thing for me and my dad’s relationship is that. I need peace. I wouldn’t mind starting with a roommate or living close enough to home if that eases his mind. But that isn’t the goal right now


good luck wishing the best


Good luck!