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Earth2Andy

Fulfilling the old saying ‘Everything is a sex toy if you’re brave enough’


[deleted]

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Earth2Andy

Oops, fixed it


Dar_Winning

"Every hill is a sledding hill if you're brave enough."


Maria_506

Or patient enough. Imagine sliding down what's almost a flat surface.


NotYourReddit18

*sad dutch noises*


TheConboy22

Get a running start. Not so bad


Merkin_Wrangler

*whee intensifies*


Raichu7

Imagine trying to go sledding on a grassy hill, you’d need wheels if you don’t have snow or that brush like topping on dry ski slopes.


EquivalentShift8545

What if its almost flat, but in a vertical sense?


Afterburn47

Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about power.


HallLAD

Would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?


itsjustawindmill

a metaphor of a sexual nature


curiousredditman69

True, it's about drive it's about power because we stay hungry we devour...


TheScottymo

This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill, fifteen percent concentrated power of will..


TheEpicPancake2556

Welcome to Crusader Kings 2.


justaguyulove

If sex is about power, you're doing it wrong. It should be about cherishing the feeling with someone you can trust (even if not love).


CthulubeFlavorcube

"Finally I am recognized as a sex." -Everything


wideoscarpop

everything is porn


TrenteCinqOfficial

Especially for horny Italians


nooneisback

Anal pasta.


ahumanrobot

Oop! All Sex!


D3monVolt

Technically true these days.


geoffbowman

Also “Everything’s a melee weapon if you can swing it!”


MrFluffyThing

Every pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself


MagicCookie54

Everything is a ranged weapon if you can throw it


GrimmSheeper

Even small children, launched at great speed, can kill.


Earth2Andy

If you can swing it hard enough?


Tall_Fortune

*Looks at glass jar* Oh no...the memories...


VashMM

Paige, no!


A_Large_Fern_Leaf

I visited a BDSM cellar one night. There sure we're a lot of blunt force objects. Including a rather aggressive looking dildo taped to the working end of a power tool.


2020___2020

ah yes, the drilldo or more likely... the DILDZALL


Inlevitable

Dildozer


Sintanan

The lesser known brother of the Killdozer from its June 9th rampage. There was much butthurt amongst the politicians afterward.


kan3abl3

Doretta could really use an armor upgrade.


Iggy_2539

Cock and bone!


Urgnot

[BEEF SUPREME](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwIY4PRIp4s)


SchlomoKlein

That's a dildon't.


NerdyTimesOrWhatever

dil-do it anyways, coward!


Salt_MasterX

going by milwaukee marketing strategy it would probably be the fuckzall, with "the largest fucking surface."


ItsReallyMyFault

I got the dilzall. Much better than the spinning of the drilldo


MrGraveRisen

Ironically I've seen a sawzall used like this more than the real use for it.


ex-akman

Oh God I've never considered the dildzall before. What in the fuck. There's no way that wouldn't just fucking destroy your orifice.


2020___2020

it has a variable rate ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


ex-akman

Oh fuck you that lenny face made me laugh. I've seen what a sawzall can do, were I a lady there's no way I'd let a machine like that near my sensitive bits. But fair enough, it would seem careful handling is the key


Glittering_Review_79

That sounds painful.


bigguesdickus

Thats.... The point


thetgi

https://i.imgur.com/0WXrBES.jpg


bigguesdickus

Im afraid of this link, lets see if i can sleep at night, ill keep you posted Edit: its safe people, its no "2-girls-one-cup/ 4- guys-2-hammers-and-1-pencil" type of shit


kitty_mouse_dog_hat

>2- guys-1-hammer #WHAT


InternationalHold149

I am pretty sure that it was 3 guys 1 hammer


Logixally

It was one of the gore videos back in its Era, it invited 2 men smashing another man's skull in with a hammer and was all recorded. Pretty morbid but I guess that's why it fit in the list.


smolduck69420

I have a question What the hell is 2 guys 1 hammer


Logixally

It was one of the gore videos back in its Era, it invited 2 men smashing another man's skull in with a hammer and was all recorded. Pretty morbid but I guess that's why it fit in the list.


MadL0ad

*laughs in /r/apolloapp *


ArcaneShado

*laughs in r/redditsync*


RantAgainstTheMan

I can hear the "not mad, just disappointed" in that comment.


Gemmabeta

Is that cellar in a massive castle in the middle of San Francisco, by any chance?


aircooledJenkins

Kink.com no longer operates out of the armory. They had to sell it.


Winjin

Which is a damn shame. I really wanted to visit the iconic location. Should have converted some rooms into OnlyFans and other webcam studios or something.


speeler21

Airbnb: rooms with a view


Winjin

That... Could be interesting as well. Also, considering they had these Upper Floor events... Could make for interesting dinner / restaurants. Plus why not have a very specific casino and a strip club there too?


liamthelemming

AirSnM.


AlephBaker

Would that castle be known as The Armory? Asking for a friend...


myfapaccount_istaken

Had to do with it's original purpose from the national guard. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/San_Francisco_Armory. Quasi safe for work does mention kink com but it's wikipedia so safe just facts. Edit: I'm dumb. Reading is hard- thought you asked why would a castle be called an Amory. But I'll leave it


A_Large_Fern_Leaf

It was in the UK


EVE_OnIine

The sex toy shop near me, which I certainly never have been in, had what looked like an 18" dildo with 5-6" of girth mounted to a chainsaw. Looked neat as hell but it was like $400 in 2009 money.


Artemis-4rrow

>18" dildo with 5-6" of girth what the fuck who tf can handle all of that, that's ridiculous to levels I never imagined existed


LockedBeltGirl

Anal


Kneel_The_Grass

The human rectum is nightmarishly elastic.


Furaskjoldr

Anal, or likely double ended. We had a similar one at university that me and my friends used to launch at each other down the corridor to see who gave up first. Shit hurt when it came flying at you at 100kmh.


Artemis-4rrow

>We had a similar one at university that me and my friends used to launch at each other down the corridor excuse me wtf


Furaskjoldr

Basically we'd get quite drunk, then stand at either end our corridor (maybe 10-15m in length) and then take turns throwing the heavy ass double ended dildo as hard as possible at each other. If you dodged you lost. Whoever gave up first lost and usually had to do some stupid forfeit like try and down a bottle of vodka or something.


NJdevil202

What exactly is a "BDSM cellar"? Is that like a business? Or at your friend's house?


Shurglife

The Sybian is far better than a drilldo if you're shopping around


PiratexelA

An object can be a toy, a tool, or a weapon depending on how you use it.


yopladas

Everything will eventually become a decoration at cracker barrel


Rance_Mulliniks

Ok. Do Jello. How do you weaponize or use Jello as a tool?


RinnTheOtter

Convince them to jump into a pool that they think is filled with water, only to have them be trapped in and suffocate/drown in jello. You’re welcome


LostInThoughtland

Reminds me of a joke i heard bartending: the line between eroticism and kinky is that your lover uses a feather, your Dom uses the whole chicken


Le_polpe

What do you do with the whole chicken?


p_turbo

Why choke it ofcourse! BDSM 101.


ballsakkio

Be careful. I choked the chicken before and accidently summoned the great dark lord Bařunğa because I spilt some salt on the floor earlier. Practice safe BDSM, please!


dddkzxz

Depending on who you are and who you worship, summoning the dark lord could be a "safe and fun" thing.


ThatsACatch22

If you have to ask, you're streets behind


2020___2020

great, thanks for the Chevy Chase BDSM imagery


Travis_Rust

He has a cool swing


cantfindanamethatisn

Have you not seen his special gym?


Ta2whitey

This is why you have the collar on


bouds19

Enjoy a delightful meal.


scinfeced2wolf

Voodo ritual. https://youtu.be/qbwqlfKeZ7w


ravenfellblade

Not all Doms are into livestock. Maybe more like "your lover tickles you with a feather. Your Dom blindfolds you and restrains you, then gets at you with a feather duster and half a dozen clothespins until you forget what day of the week it is." Or so I'm told.


Nas160

You're telling me that joke tended a bar???


Vespertinelove

Reminded me of the original joke…. What’s the difference between sexy and kinky? Sexy is using a feather, kinky is using the whole damn chicken. I remember hearing this when I was a kid. My parents were playing bridge and had friends over. I would sit and listen to their jokes and table chatter. That joke stuck with me because I was a teen before I got it. Lol


fuzzycuffs

I dated a girl in high school who's mother was into equestrian stuff. While helping clean out the garage, I found all these bridals and crops and stuff. I was like "uhh, are you guys into that kinky stuff?" She got all flustered/mad at me saying that it was horse riding equipment. I countered that I was a poor city kid who was never around such things, so how was I supposed to know?


JustRekk

It’s wild that they never mentioned being horse people. Horse people are the Vegans of leisure sporting.


SecondRateFlyTying

Know how to tell the horse lady at a party? Don’t need to, they’ll tell *you*.


yopladas

I kinda get those people though, horses have big personalities and can be very lovable. I'm not a horse person, but like a dog, if I could have a horse, I would.


Prince_Edward_IV

the only thing i know about horse girls os that she absolutely assuredly is into that stuff


MrGraveRisen

Okay but equestrian stores are legit cheaper than sex/bdsm shops for basically the same shit


SamuraiJakkass86

> I countered that I was a poor city kid who was never around such things, so how was I supposed to know? So you see, madam, it was totally expected that I would assume things of a potentially embarrassing sexual nature about you that you would not want to be spoken aloud. So really its your fault for my mind going there first m'lady.


DetectiveBabyArms

Sex toys ARE hand weapons if you're that chick from The Boys (S3).


El_Dae

Or if you're the boss from Saint's Row 3 ^such ^a ^lovely ^whack-noise ^if ^you ^hit ^somebody ^with ^that ^big ^purple ^penetrator


ABottleofFijiWater

San Andreas too. ^wait ^it’s ^not ^a ^purple ^pool ^noodle? Childhood ruined


[deleted]

Back in the early 80's redneck assholes used to drive into DC and gay-bash random people. At some point a reasonable percentage of people at risk of a beating started packing large dildos. There were several incidents of people getting hospitalized after being beaten bloody with dildos I'm happy to say!


shocktar

Have you seen the recent episodes of The Boys or Everything Everywhere All at Once?


__Kaari__

I'll never see dildos another way.


fabrocoda

I'm seeing EEAaO this wendesday and I've been carefully avoiding spoilers for the movie and now the only thing I know is that it involves BDSM and or sex toys... thanks...


Chastafin

That movie has everything in it. They didn't spoil anything for you.


McMikeyMike

Everywhere, all at once?


BassCreat0r

Give or take a few.


PriceVsOMGBEARS

Yeah its in the title, everything. The only way to not spoil that movie would be to men in black style wind wipe you to a carte blanche state, but then the movie wouldn't any sense and be very unenjoyable


Lance_E_T_Compte

I've had the SF police tell me with a smirk "There's no horses around here..." carrying toys at night. Some impact toys like a sjambok or whatever might be illegal in some places. It's contextual, which is a grey area. Contunuous, enthusiastic consent in BDSM is mandatory for many reasons, one of which is that it is legally in a very dark grey area called assault. Support the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom who advocates against laws that persecute those who enjoy/practice BDSM.


JuanPancake

Someone saw the Italian cop arrest photo this morning didn’t they


testaccount0816

Link?


brunoancic31

Link?


MatressFire

Link?


sandybutterworth420

There is no fine line, just about anything can be a hand weapon if you play it right.


SarixInTheHouse

Id argue kitchen utensils are better handweapons than 90% of bdsm equipment. Sure, you can bludgeon someone with a dildo, but its really not an effective way. The only two things i can think of that would be effective weapons are batons and knives.


chrisboiman

You can whip the shit out of someone with a whip, believe it or not


SarixInTheHouse

From my experience whips arent that bad. I mean dont get me wrong, you can definitely seriously hurt someone, but its quite an impractical weapon


MagicCookie54

Then you really aren't very creative in how you'd use things as weapons


unbibium

If you're not into BDSM, it all looks very strange. It's basically taking all the unjust things that plague our world: big power imbalances, not being able to leave, and getting yelled at, and incorporating it into one's life not only on purpose, but as a part of one's most intimate relationship. And it's so mainstream that when a sex weapons book gets super-popular and they make an R-rated sex weapons movie trilogy out f it, the studio can just promote its sex weapons movie on Good Morning America and interview the actors who have weapon sex in the movies, while you're getting the kids get ready for school. It's an R and not an NC-17 because even though there's weapon sex, they don't show the penetration.


Sissy_Cassie_ATX

As someone who is active in the community, we all fucking hate that book and film. It popularized domestic abuse, not BDSM, and if you mention it, it will get people frothing at the mouth.


unbibium

I've heard that, and considering how bad Hollywood is at depicting even basic PG-rated dating, I believe it. The cynical conspiracy-minded part of me wonders if that misconception is by design: "We'll give this generation ONE sex-positive cultural touchstone, but we'll make it apologia for male narcissism, normalize a lot of dangerous behavior in the bedroom, and let's have all the daytime talk show hostesses fawn over the abusive leading man!"


InTheNameOfScheddi

How did it popularize it? I haven't watched it


yopladas

It was popular but they excluded consent, safe words, after care, etc. it's kinda like a movie about racing where they don't wear seatbelts.


ShaunDark

Or drift across a coin every lap in a formula car :D


nekizalb

The books and movie were/are popular, but they don't portray what would be considered a safe, sane, and consensual relationship that incorporates BDSM play in a respectful way. Instead it portrays a relationship that would be considered abusive by that community even and hurts the reputation of real people who engage in such relationships in a safe and sane manner.


jcaldararo

SSC (safe, sane, consensual) is very outdated. There is no kink that is safe and anyone who tells you otherwise is not safe to play with. Sane is very ambiguous and does not mean the same to everyone,so it's a useless word. RACK is preferred- Risk Aware Consensual Kink. All parties involved should be aware of the risks, negotiate boundaries and signals (safe words and also nonverbal cues), and not play above anyone's skill level that are involved.


Jethro_Tell

Uh, there are a lot of kinks that are safe and sane. Don't paint everyone with the same brush.


Thisorthose

There is no kink that is safe!? Holy fuck. I had no idea that having a thing for redheads was so dangerous!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Justokayscott

Great let’s equate adults consensually having fun together with murder. Wtf


[deleted]

Is it really consensual? That's like saying an addict is making an informed decision when they shoot up with heroin. Someone working through their trauma and insecurities via- Kidding. I'm just messing with ya.


Jimijam_Flimflam

Had me in the first half not gonna lie


yopladas

Lol


jcaldararo

It's disrespectful to joke about a community you know nothing about who has to fight stigma and do not have protections in place to keep them safe from the vanilla world. People in the community can lose their jobs, their housing, be discriminated against by their healthcare professionals, be ostracized by family, etc. If you are in the community, represent your community well to outsiders. Do not add to the stigma. And do not bring other marginalized people into it to make a joke. Addiction is never a joke.


[deleted]

Or maybe its acceptable for not every member of every community to only be concerned with being an ambassador for that community 24/7 and perfectly acceptable to joke about it normalizing conversations around it. Being into BDSM is not like being a gay guy in the 80s. No one is going to beat you to death over it. We have shitty mainstream representations of it through unhealthy crap like 50 shades or The Secretary. Every mom & pop sex columnist has an article about it. Hell _my church_ has pamphlets for the married adults talking about enhancing sex with kink play with helpful recommendations for how newbies should approach more nuanced sexual encounters. And addiction is a normal thing to joke about too. If you've ever been to group, you'd realize humor is a common coping mechanism when trying to deal with extreme loss and trauma and is a fine tool to use for getting the conversation going with, with the few people who don't know someone who has battled addiction. But I haven't found too many peeps that haven't. Your response to my comment was so over the top that I have to say, whatever you have stuck up your ass currently was way too big a toy for you.


wloff

It was just a joke. A lighthearted joke that didn't in any way make fun of the community. Really no reason whatsoever to get your panties in a twist about it. All you're actually accomplishing by being a miserable, humourless git like that is make yourself, and by extension your community, seem annoying and off-putting. You're definitely not "respecting it well to outsiders" with that attitude. Just sayin'.


zombear33

The majority of bdsm equipment is bondage related, so ropes, straps, buckles. So not really weapons.


flufishere

whips?


LordFauntloroy

That would be S&M. BDSM is an umbrella term that includes Bondage, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism. Bondage alone comprises the *vast* majority and is just ties.


HollyHolyLove

Id completely disagree, if only because there's so many varied sub categories. My bdsm relationships usually had more of a masochistic and service based tendency, instead of restraint. Ib think i was tied up maybe 3 times in the past 4 years, but ive had many many more scenes with whips, paddles, and electricity.


WeWillSeizeJerusalem

Apparently I'm getting the full lore of how BDSM works tonight


Furaskjoldr

Um yeah, so he's right. S&M is basically the last part of BDSM. So he's absolutely right and you're being pedantic.


Falqun

Hm. At least at meetups bondage is far spread but DS and SM is equally. Most times somewhat mixed together. (I'm from Germany if that helps) Don't know about others, a study would be nice.


Kind_Ad_3611

I thought it was Bondage Domination Slave Master


SeleneAdair

M/S relationship dynamics are relatively uncommon in the circles I frequent. It's much more frequently pet play, some Big/Little stuff, bondage, and Sadism/masochism.


ickda

sm is the best, that whap of a sturdy paddle, the noise they make as there ass bounces. The oh stop they say, till you force them to say the safe word. Never mind the after care. Cuddles, snacks and shit.


nekizalb

If you're getting a safe word, you've gone too far Edit: comments below are fair. If the scene expects a safe word at some point, it's not too far, it's the point.


Anrikay

That really depends on your partner, the scene, and what they're comfortable with. My partner and I, more often than not, practice con non-con. I like to end scenes myself once I'm done because what I want/can handle varies a lot, so they pretty much almost end when I use the safe word. Through open and clear communication, we've found a way to do this where we're both comfortable. Admittedly, we're in the minority when it comes to BDSM and are into some hardcore stuff, but it does happen.


ickda

Not if thats the agreement. Paddles are fun, but the end user can only take so mutch. Its even more fun with brats, cuz they wanna be stubborn. You keep asking em whan the safe word is, but they wanna keep mum, even though you low key know there at there limits.


andy-the-englishman

>M/S relationship dynamics are relatively uncommon in the circles I frequent. It's much more frequently pet play, some Big/Little stuff, bondage, and Sadism/masochism. So is it uncommon or more frequent?


GodSpider

What? It's uncommon. Pet play, big little, bondage and sadism are more frequent they said


MagicCookie54

There are so many definitions of what Bdsm stands for floating around the community. It's honestly not worth worrying about the precise acryonym


WorldlyCream

Yeah you can just negotiate the semantics with the group you're communicating with.


olewolf

Unless they're gagged.


EVE_OnIine

I thought it was Burgers, Dancing and Salsa Music. I have a few party invitations to urgently unsend.


death_by_siren

*Bondage/Discipline


zombear33

Yet again, a very small part of the bdsm range.


cabalavatar

That's just the B, not the S&M. Are you forgetting about whips, chains, switches, canes, riding crops, paddles, various dildos, vibrators, buttplugs, feathers, lubes, various makeup, trimmers, razors and razor blades, knives, clamps (which aren't used as restraints), etc.? I think there's at least as much variety among if not more variety among S&M toys than among bondage toys. And we haven't even gotten into repurposing kitchen utensils, tools, office equipment, etc. for both!


Yan-gi

Tell me u a freak without tellin me u a freak.


cabalavatar

I fully admit to being a freak if "freak" means that I enjoy kinks and BDSM play and sex.


Yan-gi

Fair enough.


Eco_Chamber

Hey now, I wear the freak badge with pride! No idea where it comes from. And it sure does get a bad rap from some people. Far as I’m concerned there’s no shame in safe and consensual freakiness.


cabalavatar

By your user name, I'm guessing you're a green freak (rather than a clean freak).


[deleted]

My ex liked to watch me slide the blade of my tanto knife all over her crotch and upper thighs and then use the handle for insertion. She was an interesting one.


HollyHolyLove

Pervertables are so much fun


Tetha

Bondage equipment used incorrectly can cause life-altering injuries. With a rope, you can damage someones arm downright to amputation or life threatening thrombosis. Ropes can end up hanging someone even if you don't intend to, because shit slips and shit happens. I'm very much into this lifestyle, but you have to be bloody careful and aware of what you're doing and in constant and intimate communication with your partner, and in full readiness to cancel everything. All of these fantasies of "Oh I tie myself up so you can find me" are **fucking terrifiying**. Don't touch it until you're confident with your partner about many things.


Lillymunsten

More a mix between sex toys and shit you get at a hardware store😅


Kivitee

Electric baton


moonsovermyhami

those things seem wicked but always wanted to try it lol


GiDD504

Whips, flogs, gags, cuffs, etc etc.


LagBoss

You say majority, I think you just mean most visible.


acdss

Everything is a weapon... And a sex toy.... And both..,..and in very rare occasions, neither of them


AmbiguityEngine

Anything is a weapon if you're comitted to harming your opponent.


Aerioncis420

"You see officer, she said her kink was being in pain." "Sir, you cut her fucking foot off."


Latikin

Give a dildo enough girth and it qualifies as a blunt force weapon either way.


MistyCD

I've always wanted to have a giant dildo like you see in the Saints Row games to.... Hit people, yeah


Tall_Thoughts_13

Im not even gonna argue with you on that. If your ok without access to high velocity range weapons, a BDSM dungeon is basically am armory, with the average bonus of scaring off your attackers.


ReddiEddy78

Lol at the last part. When you break into a place and the edge of a large wooden paddle to the jaw is your best (and most normal) case scenario.


mistakesmostly

Would have been a good bit if Sean’s parents had bust out the S&M gear as their weapons of choice in Sean Of The Dead


Tedmann93

After seeing one of the recent episodes of The Boys most dildos can be quite the weapon.


fuzzymonday

In every pet store there’s an isle that looks like it cold be a sex shop. (Chew toys and collars)


SycophanticFeline

Nothing quite like leaving a session bloody , bruised and loved. To give yourself to someone completely and empty all thoughts is so liberating.


Grouchy_Squirrel_252

The only difference between a weapon and a bdsm sex toy is a safe word


decentlyhip

Bacj in college, TSA confiscated a pair of fuzzy handcuffs I forgot I had in my backpack. The agent and I...we had a conversation with our eyes.


LovelyTreesEatLeaves

So *should* you buy a shitton of BDSM equipment and use them as weapons in a zombie apocalypse?


SirLols

This shower thought is brought to you by someone who's never done BDSM.


Funkey-Monkey-420

what do you mean “fine line” some of those people get off to being sliced up with a knife or whipped. that IS weapons and they like it no shame tho, everyone’s got their fantasies


Ok-Butterscotch5761

And weapons, I have a cordless hitachi, That you could beat someone to death with. Easily. But don’t do that.


UnchartedCHARTz

I read BDSM as BDSP and was wondering what Pokemon Brilliant Diamond and Shiny Pearl had to do with sex toys and hand weapons


PMmeUrUvula

You ever been smacked in the face with a dildo at full force? #sextoysareweapons


Sen7ryGun

TIL a basic bitch vibrator is "BDSM equipment" you absolute room temperature vanilla milkshake if a human being.


[deleted]

Many of that stuff legally qualifies as weapons or worse... Soo yeah. But i dont think anyone in their right mind would think its a good idea to Walk around with a whip outside. So its not that big of a deal as long as you keep it at home


nick__furry

Hello and welcome to my workshop, today I will be forging a Damascus buttplug