T O P

We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the same rate.

We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the same rate.

idea4granted

Imagine if your limbs would grow one by one lol


Mrfish31

So a boy was born, and he was just a head. But his parents took this difficulty in their stride and raised him as well as they could. On the boy's 18th birthday, his father takes him down the pub for his first pint. He takes the first sip, and out pops his body. Surprised, he takes a second sip, and out pop his arms. The whole pub is cheering him on now. His father has tears of joy streaming down his face. So the boy takes his final sip, and out pop his legs. The boy is so happy that he immediately jumps up and runs outside the pub to celebrate, where he is quickly flattened by a lorry. The barman turns to the father and says: He should have quit while he was ahead.


NorthsideSuicide

I was thinking the punchline would be about him not having a dick


TheNeptunianSloth

It's a fair assumption


sustainablehill

He was thinking with the wrong head!


The_Basshole

I’m imagining a head with a penis dangling off it


spazmatt527

Peter Griffin


SuperTaakot

You absolute legend.


Mr_Ted_Stickle

Ok. Done. What next? Is this heads mouth open..? Just trying to get a visual here.


Sir_Fart

Who let you write that?


termitefist

Yeah, if he had taken another sip, he would have been motivated to just play it cool to try to pick up a lady.


[deleted]

How do you think he rang the doorbell? ;)


DonkeyPunch_75

Maybe that was the head they were talking about.


Eqonesian

One of my friend's told us this story around a campfire once. He really dragged it out, going into great detail about each aspect of the boy and how hard his life was. I swear it went on for maybe 30 minutes. Everyone was so wrapped up in the story, no one saw the punchline coming... I actually screamed at the end, I was so upset.


[deleted]

[You may enjoy this](http://natethesnake.com)


the_legendary_legend

The story is actually pretty great. Someone really took the pain to write all that just to make a bad pun.


vasilescur

Holy fuck. That was so well-written and capturing, I didn't even realize how long I'd been reading it and then I read the end and I literally screamed. Fuck you. I love you.


crickypop

I hate this with every fiber of my being. I read through the entire thing.... The ENTIRE THING


Samtastic33

The guy can flesh out a character at least.


Lenwe_Calmacil

you mother-- take my upvote and leave


Calum-Paxton

r/angryupvotes


AlwaysSunnyDragRace

I just want to be in the screenshot


Calum-Paxton

ok


Stringz4444

Guterman!


linearsavage

So a boy was born , and he was just a head. But his parents took this difficulty in their stride and raised him as well as they could. On the boys 18th birthday, his mom comes into his room and says, “happy birthday son! Are you ready for your present?” He looks back at her and says, “it better not be another fucking hat.”


ncnotebook

I was about to say "just legs," but I also like "ricebowl."


epicaglet

I always got socks so it could be worse


the_fatal_cure

I thought he’d end up saying, “But mom, both my arms are broken, it better be head”.


[deleted]

This is now my go-to joke for random ice breakers.


makavili

You should have while you’re on ice Idk how jokes work


Dr4th

god damn this is quality r/dadjokes material


angrynutrients

Its from The Vicar of Dibley as one of the end of episodr jokes.


5J51k0ra

I know this may be off track but having no body when he came in to the bar means he probably had no clothing, therefore when he had his full body, and everyone was celebrating, he was naked.


enchanted-player

He had nobody, he drank, then he had somebody


grav3rune

I'm standing in my dorm kitchen, boiling dumplings while fighting the devils lettuce and the punchline got me so good I let out the bestfart of my life. Ty Edit: changed a word, darn autocorrect


FBI-Agent-007

Truck-kun


IceFire909

Nis-san!


Longest_shlongus

r/angryupvote


Xacto01

Americans all stuck at lorry


[deleted]

[удалено]


henryhendrixx

It’s 6th grade all over again


[deleted]

Wa-


[deleted]

Wha-


NathanialJD

-t


no_ragrats

-it


FateEvolved

-do


v11golfer

-babbyyyy


Akraz

These comments make me kahwi


Piffweggy

Wha-


The_OC_Maker

This is requiem


SpoonResistance

Complete with loud moaning and the release of strange bodily fluids.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheTayzer

ya got me to double check for "*human* bodily fluids"


Meriog

And everyone treats it like a twist every single time?


DoverBoys

It doesn't make a bit of difference guys. The balls are inert.


CorvoLP

Piccolo*


deltenksavestheday

still waiting for one of my limbs to grow. I'm 25


Legacy2004

Kids would be like haha you've barely even got your first arm! MY second arm is already up to the wrist!


yogijear

Alright, I have a great idea for a show, and it's called Detective Baby Legs.


Death_By_Pun

I have 2 legs, which is higher than average.


[deleted]

It is


PhillyMcCole

Happy microphone day


Adama0001

What is *Things I would expect in 1984* Alex?


Fleeetch

*you have to pick a price range, contestant.*


scythe173

I don't know why I find this comment hilarious. Because I hate you for it.


Neptitude

Why is this so funny


kixxes

What is microphone day?


_primecode

Microphone day is a joke based on Cake Day and the confusion between the two symbols next to someone's username. Cake Day is basically a birthday of the account (the day when the account was created), if you didn't know that. The microphone symbol is used to indicate that the OP (original poster) answered to a comment on their own post (hence the microphone). Hope this cleared the confusion! Edit: there's a third blue symbol, representing a person. That's to indicate your post/comment!


ElegantEpitome

Yeah, like look at the 🍰 next to my name


Valreesio

Shameless cake day plug...


finefornow_

Happy green envelope day!


_primecode

Happy cake day!


ImVeryDisappointing

You wanna touch cakes?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Higher in smallness. I just devastated you. You're devastated


esbjornsson

Ya basic!


the-Ben41

O yeah, Well, dick Tracey called and asked for his quote back


kdeeneyzz

You are a good man


DarrianProducts

r/therealshowerthought


Wololo38

It's one of the top post of r/showerthoughts


jeo123

Technically there are several definitions of average for this reason. You might have more than the mean, but you definitely have median and mode.


cyborgassassin47

Isn't average another term for mean, and median, mode are different things altogether to average?


JadenDaJedi

AFAIK ‘average’ is an ambiguous term for the most common amount/variation of something, whereas ‘mean’/‘median’/‘mode’ are direct statistical functions, and it is important to choose the right one based on the data type to form a useful ‘average’. I’m not a mathematician nor a linguist tho.


jeo123

Only colloquially is the average the mean. In math however, all 3 are types of averages. [https://www.dummies.com/education/math/pre-algebra/the-three-types-of-average-median-mode-and-mean/](https://www.dummies.com/education/math/pre-algebra/the-three-types-of-average-median-mode-and-mean/) So the mean is *an* average, but the average is not just the mean. Mean is by far the most commonly used, so people in the absence of other information will assume "average" is Mean, but household income is a common place where "Average" as reported is typically Median. Since people are typically most familiar with mean, people often clarify when more than one type of average is relevant. Google average household income for example and you'll find most decent articles will split out whether they're talking about Mean or Median to define average. In cases of probability with distinct outcomes, mode is very common because the outcome has to be one of the possibilities, not a value in between. If you play russian roulette, "on average" you'll survive. You won't be 1/6th killed. If you're spinning a color wheel with Red, Blue, and Yellow, but Red takes up 50%, "on average" you'll spin a red. It all depends on the circumstances. But technically the 3 are all "averages" and people just clarify which one they mean when more than one is appropriate.


CLX053

Yes


jeo123

No, all 3 are averages. If you just say "Average" people will assume you're talking about "mean" but that doesn't change the fact that median and mode are also averages.


AchromaticSky

"Average" isn't used in a formal statistics context for exactly that reason.


jemidiah

Mean, median, and mode are all "measures of center". They're rarely also all called averages, but "average" almost universally refers to "mean" in any context that's precise enough for the difference to be important.


Swordlord22

What?


KingLewie36

If even one human is missing a leg, that brings the average number of legs per human from 2, to something like 1.99 (heavily rounded, but you get the idea) Therefore having two legs is above average


Ferelar

Have you factored in Wirt’s third leg?


KingLewie36

ah ^shit


whateverthefuck2

Swashbuckler farming all day.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Berserk3rHS

So you’re saying I have above average balls? That’s a first


capj23

On average women have more than one brain because some women are always pregnant.


aredditusernametaken

I think you mean there's always some women pregnant.


Mr_Nugget_777

Hes talking about OP's mom.


h4ck0ry

TIL being pregnant makes all their organs yours.


Jenga_Police

Chinese organ harvesters realized this long ago when they figured out their daughters could still be useful if they let them live.


street_pop

TIL being pregnant just mean growing spare organs for emergencies.


iHamNewHere

Alcoholic mums who need liver transplants, rejoice!


hobohipsterman

Since some people have less than two legs, the avarage is less than two legs. Might be 1.99999999 legs but still less than 2.


TimTheTalkingPie

Because of amputees and birth defects and such, the average number of legs is less than 2


Rhoff8713

So if one person doesn’t have two legs the average falls to below 100% so by having two legs we are above average.


ali94127

Most people have two legs, but it is far more likely for someone to have less than two legs (amputees for example) than it is for someone to have more than two legs (some congenital disorders can cause this, but it's very rare). Therefore, the average number of legs someone has is less than two.


guitar_vigilante

That assumes average is the arithmetic mean in this case. When discussing bodily features or what makes the average person, most people would refer to the median or mode. So really the average legs a human has is 2.


[deleted]

Really? I have 3.


MilkyBeefPants

Thanks, had to fight my girlfriend for 10 minutes why this made sense. absolute mind fuck, nice job


Omnitrix_666

Not at the same rate. Most of us have legs of two different lengths. Millimetres, but still not the same.


alwysonthatokiedokie

Yeah seriously. Go to a tailor and you'll learn just how uneven your limbs, shoulders, hips actually are. I'll never unsee my shoulder difference now.


Headcap

sure, because what i need is more anxiety.


no_ragrats

Is there a maximum amount of anxiety one can have?


nessao616

I'd think such extreme anxiety could lead to a heart attack. And then more anxiety for fear of having another one. It never ends. Source: have bad anxiety


appoplecticskeptic

Kinda of. If you reach critical mass of anxiety, you will have either a panic attack or a heart attack. The really *fun* part is the first time this happens to you, you won't know which one it is until you survive it (if you survive it that is, in which case it was likely a panic attack) but either way you'll probably feel like you're dying. Source: I've had a few panic attacks of my own. They're **not** fun, just in case you didn't catch that I was saying that ironically.


[deleted]

I was measured by a tailor when I joined the British Army. He told me I was a freak because my legs were exactly the same length as each other, and my arms were exactly the same length as each other too, meaning I was the first person he'd ever seen who perfectly fit an of-the-peg dress uniform without needing any adjustments at all.


LeanZo

The perfect specimen


Joegeneric

And it only took 1956 failed Markrs to get you right!


-Unnamed-

Apparently my left arm is longer than my right because I dislocated my right shoulder in high school. The ~~trailer~~ tailor said it’s actually less common for her to see equal limbs


H3ran

Don't they start off as different sizes to begin with and grow at a constant rate. I don't think the difference in length increases due to developmental reasons. I have don't smidge of research so I'm almost certainly wrong.


homingstar

not a doctor or looked into this more than at issues family members had when growing up, come from a family of people all on the tall side of average, and they so grow at slightly different times but normally they even out, sometimes they don't and can cause issues from hip and knee pain all the way to needing corrective footwear, me and my brothers have all had issues with knees/hips growing up and my eldest brother has now developed artheritus in one knee from having too large a difference, you wouldn't notice it looking at him but his joints notice it.


HeyLittleTrain

that sentence is painfully long.


qwerty12qwerty

Tldr; His family has it. Causes issues with the hips and higher risk for arthritis


Spike69

Longer than one of his two legs


Revelt

My legs are different length. Like over an inch. They grew at slightly different rates


datb0mb

One of my grandpa's legs is shorter than the other. Developed at different rates/lengths.


ALonelyCake

Yes. Mine have a 2cm diffrence. Hella annoying


accountforvotes

A relative of mine had the misfortune of them being centimetres different


pikkamakk

My mom had to get hip replacement on one side, because her's was so uneven that one joint wore out


definework

mine are off by somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 inch. it causes me to walk with my right foot pointed outwards while my left is straight.


NotWhatYouPlanted

Mine are two inches off. Back trouble abounds. 😭


chunkybrewster55

You’re the person who tattled to the teacher....


Jakeybaby125

Not mine. Left leg longer than right leg.


Pan_Fried_Puppies

My dad's left leg was growing so much faster than his right that surgery was required. At one point it was almost an inch 2.4 cm longer than the right. Even now 40 years later he has problems buying shoes because there is a half size difference between his feet.


NiceDynamite999

Same. Makes playing football really interesting .


Jakeybaby125

My right foot is still my stronger foot but I can't kick a ball yet because I've had surgery in both.


Askmeaboutmy_Beergut

Well my 3rd leg disagrees with you!


[deleted]

That is called a dick


Greenyardmaster

My dick disagrees with you


[deleted]

Could it be huge clitoris?


Perm-suspended

It could be *after* the surgery.


guiraus

Ah, the *surgery*.


Perm-suspended

No man, *the* surgery.


OgOnetee

My dude, it's the surgery.(italicized period)


Dim_Innuendo

Italicized period happens *after* the surgery.


Perm-suspended

My mistake^^***.***


Cooldude075

*No* man, the surgery


Moose_Hole

No *man*, the surgery.


octa_core

No, *man* the surgery


zachdaddy84

Well, it makes it easy to find when it's that big


avidblinker

Yes, that seems to be the joke.


IndifferentTalker

Excellent deduction Holmes


[deleted]

They really don’t actually and in fact my job usually involves screening for having too much of a discrepancy.


bluepanda202

wtf kind of job is that?


[deleted]

Undertaker.


gubenlo

Something something announcer's table


RGB3x3

This leg I took off a guy named Mike, and this one off a woman named Suzie. Sir, we told you this already: the legs have to be the same length. Come back when you learn to follow instructions.


dihydrocodeine

Pediatric doctor/medical professional probably?


bluepanda202

i thought they meant they had to be screened for this in order to get the job lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


manoAHHHHmano

Leg measure ledger keeper


justPassingThrou15

your employment requires people entering your field to be screened for different-length limbs? Or your job requires that you screen other people for different-length limbs?


Ireceiveeverything

First real shower thought I've seen in ages


[deleted]

Ya I wish people showered more :/


ClosedDimmadome

First comment like this I've seen since yesterday


[deleted]

[удалено]


lithium2741

I comment on so many of these posts stating that they aren’t shower thoughts. The OP usually gets annoyed too. I think only a very small percentage of people understand what a shower thought actually is. Thought =/= shower thought.


KnutzFR

Tell that to my legs, one is shorter than the other so i have to get orthopedic insoles for the rest of my life otherwise i'll get a scoliosis...


ChosenOfNyarlathotep

That's the whole point though. The rest of us never think about the fact that our legs are the same length.


blazingwhale

Ah Scoliosis, it really is the worst pokemon.


bscross32

I think they don't grow at the same rate or how would you have someone with one leg a little longer than the other.


wene324

When I was little, the bones in one of my legs were growing to fast for my muscles to keep up. I spent half a year without being able to bend that leg. Made walking up and down the stairs at school kind of difficult.


JediMasterHokie

Mine didn’t grow at the same pace and ended 7mm off. Gave me minor scoliosis and messed up both my knee and hip on the short leg side. Not fun


shitty-converter-bot

7 mm is 0.00236 decempeda pertica/perch ([ref](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Roman_units_of_measurement))


LalaMcTease

You know what most people take for granted? That their FEET are the same size. My left foot is half a size smaller. Shoes either squish the right foot, or fall off the left one. You try buying stilettos with feet like that!


Nihilisticky

A more disturbing take on this kind of showerthought: People with handicaps and hereditary genetic disorders/mutations would have "died off" according to natural selection, but thanks to modern medicine they instead reproduce and pass their genes. I'm not against medicine for all, we're doing the right thing, but it's a fascinating perspective.


LucarioBoricua

Alturism sacrifices individualized survival for collective survival. The so-called less fit members of society can still provide valuable auxiliary roles to free up time for the fitter members to take on more demanding tasks.


CaptainOfSquad11

They don't grow at the same rate and typically aren't even the same length. This is why children are constantly falling for no reason, because their legs are always changing lengths at different rates.


Vega1313

> This is why children are constantly falling I thought they were just stupid.


acoollobster2

they can be both


Cryobaby

Because in all other respects children are renowned for their well-developed coordination...?


CaptainOfSquad11

Learning to be bipedal is amazing coordination.


DarkOverlord24

Speaking for ourselves, aren't we. My legs grew at different paces and had about 1-2 cm difference in length at some point.


SF1NX_CZ

Legs? Yes. But feet? Oh no. Not for me at least. Thankfully the size difference is very minimal.


Ieatoutjelloshots

As someone that has two different sized legs. Y'all have no idea how lucky y'all are.


spookiester

My legs have a notable difference, I am unable to ride a bike.


WizardryAwaits

Speak for yourself samelegger. I have one leg slightly longer than the other. In fact most humans are slightly asymmetrical and have one side that is stronger, and leg lengths differ even by a few millimetres in most people. Even faces, if you mirror each side then for most people you can see they developed slightly differently.


sjallllday

My right leg used to be almost an entire inch longer than my right so uhhhhh you’re wrong lol


EternalZealot

My doctor when I was a kid had one leg that was shorter than her other one by a significant amount


[deleted]

Speak for yourself buddy, my left legt thought it would be funny to NOT DO THAT!


Supersage1

Mine aren’t the same length


EstNoire

You can actually have a leg .5 inch or so longer than the other go get someone to pull on em


ThePotatoLorde

Haha my sister's didn't 😅 She ended up getting surgery to lengthen one a little and stop the growth in the other since the difference was big like 4 inches


Sbuxshlee

How high are you?


Inquisitor1

Some people have different size legs. I know one.


benbamboo1

It doesn't always. My wife had a genetic condition which caused one side of her body to grow less than the other side, which in turn caused many joint and spinal problems. She had an operation to stretch her right leg 5cm. I posted a post-op x-ray here https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6ep6jw/not_your_usual_pic_my_wifes_leg_after_having_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Painful stuff.


phoenixrising0711

One of my legs is longer than the other and it's caused a host of problems. Then tendons and ligaments on the left side of my body are way too loose, so I dislocate things all the time. My hips have rotated and it causes a painful snap every step I take. The rotated hips caused my spine to curve. I'm an orthopedic nightmare.