We really take for granted that both our legs grow at the same time and at the same rate.
By - idea4granted
Imagine if your limbs would grow one by one lol
So a boy was born, and he was just a head. But his parents took this difficulty in their stride and raised him as well as they could.
On the boy's 18th birthday, his father takes him down the pub for his first pint.
He takes the first sip, and out pops his body.
Surprised, he takes a second sip, and out pop his arms.
The whole pub is cheering him on now. His father has tears of joy streaming down his face. So the boy takes his final sip, and out pop his legs.
The boy is so happy that he immediately jumps up and runs outside the pub to celebrate, where he is quickly flattened by a lorry.
The barman turns to the father and says:
He should have quit while he was ahead.
I was thinking the punchline would be about him not having a dick
It's a fair assumption
He was thinking with the wrong head!
I’m imagining a head with a penis dangling off it
You absolute legend.
What next? Is this heads mouth open..?
Just trying to get a visual here.
Who let you write that?
Yeah, if he had taken another sip, he would have been motivated to just play it cool to try to pick up a lady.
How do you think he rang the doorbell? ;)
Maybe that was the head they were talking about.
One of my friend's told us this story around a campfire once. He really dragged it out, going into great detail about each aspect of the boy and how hard his life was. I swear it went on for maybe 30 minutes. Everyone was so wrapped up in the story, no one saw the punchline coming...
I actually screamed at the end, I was so upset.
[You may enjoy this](http://natethesnake.com)
The story is actually pretty great. Someone really took the pain to write all that just to make a bad pun.
Holy fuck. That was so well-written and capturing, I didn't even realize how long I'd been reading it and then I read the end and I literally screamed.
Fuck you. I love you.
I hate this with every fiber of my being. I read through the entire thing.... The ENTIRE THING
The guy can flesh out a character at least.
take my upvote and leave
I just want to be in the screenshot
So a boy was born , and he was just a head. But his parents took this difficulty in their stride and raised him as well as they could.
On the boys 18th birthday, his mom comes into his room and says, “happy birthday son! Are you ready for your present?”
He looks back at her and says, “it better not be another fucking hat.”
I was about to say "just legs," but I also like "ricebowl."
I always got socks so it could be worse
I thought he’d end up saying, “But mom, both my arms are broken, it better be head”.
This is now my go-to joke for random ice breakers.
You should have while you’re on ice
Idk how jokes work
god damn this is quality r/dadjokes material
Its from The Vicar of Dibley as one of the end of episodr jokes.
I know this may be off track but having no body when he came in to the bar means he probably had no clothing, therefore when he had his full body, and everyone was celebrating, he was naked.
He had nobody, he drank, then he had somebody
I'm standing in my dorm kitchen, boiling dumplings while fighting the devils lettuce and the punchline got me so good I let out the bestfart of my life. Ty
Edit: changed a word, darn autocorrect
Americans all stuck at lorry
It’s 6th grade all over again
These comments make me kahwi
This is requiem
Complete with loud moaning and the release of strange bodily fluids.
ya got me to double check for "*human* bodily fluids"
And everyone treats it like a twist every single time?
It doesn't make a bit of difference guys. The balls are inert.
still waiting for one of my limbs to grow. I'm 25
Kids would be like haha you've barely even got your first arm! MY second arm is already up to the wrist!
Alright, I have a great idea for a show, and it's called Detective Baby Legs.
I have 2 legs, which is higher than average.
Happy microphone day
What is *Things I would expect in 1984* Alex?
*you have to pick a price range, contestant.*
I don't know why I find this comment hilarious. Because I hate you for it.
Why is this so funny
What is microphone day?
Microphone day is a joke based on Cake Day and the confusion between the two symbols next to someone's username. Cake Day is basically a birthday of the account (the day when the account was created), if you didn't know that. The microphone symbol is used to indicate that the OP (original poster) answered to a comment on their own post (hence the microphone). Hope this cleared the confusion!
Edit: there's a third blue symbol, representing a person. That's to indicate your post/comment!
Yeah, like look at the 🍰 next to my name
Shameless cake day plug...
Happy green envelope day!
Happy cake day!
You wanna touch cakes?
Higher in smallness.
I just devastated you. You're devastated
O yeah, Well, dick Tracey called and asked for his quote back
You are a good man
It's one of the top post of r/showerthoughts
Technically there are several definitions of average for this reason.
You might have more than the mean, but you definitely have median and mode.
Isn't average another term for mean, and median, mode are different things altogether to average?
AFAIK ‘average’ is an ambiguous term for the most common amount/variation of something, whereas ‘mean’/‘median’/‘mode’ are direct statistical functions, and it is important to choose the right one based on the data type to form a useful ‘average’.
I’m not a mathematician nor a linguist tho.
Only colloquially is the average the mean. In math however, all 3 are types of averages.
So the mean is *an* average, but the average is not just the mean.
Mean is by far the most commonly used, so people in the absence of other information will assume "average" is Mean, but household income is a common place where "Average" as reported is typically Median. Since people are typically most familiar with mean, people often clarify when more than one type of average is relevant. Google average household income for example and you'll find most decent articles will split out whether they're talking about Mean or Median to define average.
In cases of probability with distinct outcomes, mode is very common because the outcome has to be one of the possibilities, not a value in between. If you play russian roulette, "on average" you'll survive. You won't be 1/6th killed. If you're spinning a color wheel with Red, Blue, and Yellow, but Red takes up 50%, "on average" you'll spin a red.
It all depends on the circumstances. But technically the 3 are all "averages" and people just clarify which one they mean when more than one is appropriate.
No, all 3 are averages.
If you just say "Average" people will assume you're talking about "mean" but that doesn't change the fact that median and mode are also averages.
"Average" isn't used in a formal statistics context for exactly that reason.
Mean, median, and mode are all "measures of center". They're rarely also all called averages, but "average" almost universally refers to "mean" in any context that's precise enough for the difference to be important.
If even one human is missing a leg, that brings the average number of legs per human from 2, to something like 1.99 (heavily rounded, but you get the idea)
Therefore having two legs is above average
Have you factored in Wirt’s third leg?
Swashbuckler farming all day.
So you’re saying I have above average balls? That’s a first
On average women have more than one brain because some women are always pregnant.
I think you mean there's always some women pregnant.
Hes talking about OP's mom.
TIL being pregnant makes all their organs yours.
Chinese organ harvesters realized this long ago when they figured out their daughters could still be useful if they let them live.
TIL being pregnant just mean growing spare organs for emergencies.
Alcoholic mums who need liver transplants, rejoice!
Since some people have less than two legs, the avarage is less than two legs. Might be 1.99999999 legs but still less than 2.
Because of amputees and birth defects and such, the average number of legs is less than 2
So if one person doesn’t have two legs the average falls to below 100% so by having two legs we are above average.
Most people have two legs, but it is far more likely for someone to have less than two legs (amputees for example) than it is for someone to have more than two legs (some congenital disorders can cause this, but it's very rare). Therefore, the average number of legs someone has is less than two.
That assumes average is the arithmetic mean in this case. When discussing bodily features or what makes the average person, most people would refer to the median or mode. So really the average legs a human has is 2.
Really? I have 3.
Thanks, had to fight my girlfriend for 10 minutes why this made sense. absolute mind fuck, nice job
Not at the same rate. Most of us have legs of two different lengths. Millimetres, but still not the same.
Yeah seriously. Go to a tailor and you'll learn just how uneven your limbs, shoulders, hips actually are. I'll never unsee my shoulder difference now.
sure, because what i need is more anxiety.
Is there a maximum amount of anxiety one can have?
I'd think such extreme anxiety could lead to a heart attack. And then more anxiety for fear of having another one. It never ends.
Source: have bad anxiety
Kinda of. If you reach critical mass of anxiety, you will have either a panic attack or a heart attack. The really *fun* part is the first time this happens to you, you won't know which one it is until you survive it (if you survive it that is, in which case it was likely a panic attack) but either way you'll probably feel like you're dying.
Source: I've had a few panic attacks of my own. They're **not** fun, just in case you didn't catch that I was saying that ironically.
I was measured by a tailor when I joined the British Army. He told me I was a freak because my legs were exactly the same length as each other, and my arms were exactly the same length as each other too, meaning I was the first person he'd ever seen who perfectly fit an of-the-peg dress uniform without needing any adjustments at all.
The perfect specimen
And it only took 1956 failed Markrs to get you right!
Apparently my left arm is longer than my right because I dislocated my right shoulder in high school. The ~~trailer~~ tailor said it’s actually less common for her to see equal limbs
Don't they start off as different sizes to begin with and grow at a constant rate. I don't think the difference in length increases due to developmental reasons. I have don't smidge of research so I'm almost certainly wrong.
not a doctor or looked into this more than at issues family members had when growing up, come from a family of people all on the tall side of average, and they so grow at slightly different times but normally they even out, sometimes they don't and can cause issues from hip and knee pain all the way to needing corrective footwear, me and my brothers have all had issues with knees/hips growing up and my eldest brother has now developed artheritus in one knee from having too large a difference, you wouldn't notice it looking at him but his joints notice it.
that sentence is painfully long.
Tldr; His family has it. Causes issues with the hips and higher risk for arthritis
Longer than one of his two legs
My legs are different length. Like over an inch. They grew at slightly different rates
One of my grandpa's legs is shorter than the other. Developed at different rates/lengths.
Yes. Mine have a 2cm diffrence. Hella annoying
A relative of mine had the misfortune of them being centimetres different
My mom had to get hip replacement on one side, because her's was so uneven that one joint wore out
mine are off by somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 inch. it causes me to walk with my right foot pointed outwards while my left is straight.
Mine are two inches off. Back trouble abounds. 😭
You’re the person who tattled to the teacher....
Not mine. Left leg longer than right leg.
My dad's left leg was growing so much faster than his right that surgery was required. At one point it was almost an inch 2.4 cm longer than the right. Even now 40 years later he has problems buying shoes because there is a half size difference between his feet.
Same. Makes playing football really interesting
My right foot is still my stronger foot but I can't kick a ball yet because I've had surgery in both.
Well my 3rd leg disagrees with you!
That is called a dick
My dick disagrees with you
Could it be huge clitoris?
It could be *after* the surgery.
Ah, the *surgery*.
No man, *the* surgery.
My dude, it's the surgery.(italicized period)
Italicized period happens *after* the surgery.
*No* man, the surgery
No *man*, the surgery.
No, *man* the surgery
Well, it makes it easy to find when it's that big
Yes, that seems to be the joke.
Excellent deduction Holmes
They really don’t actually and in fact my job usually involves screening for having too much of a discrepancy.
wtf kind of job is that?
Something something announcer's table
This leg I took off a guy named Mike, and this one off a woman named Suzie.
Sir, we told you this already: the legs have to be the same length. Come back when you learn to follow instructions.
Pediatric doctor/medical professional probably?
i thought they meant they had to be screened for this in order to get the job lol
Leg measure ledger keeper
your employment requires people entering your field to be screened for different-length limbs? Or your job requires that you screen other people for different-length limbs?
First real shower thought I've seen in ages
Ya I wish people showered more :/
First comment like this I've seen since yesterday
I comment on so many of these posts stating that they aren’t shower thoughts. The OP usually gets annoyed too. I think only a very small percentage of people understand what a shower thought actually is. Thought =/= shower thought.
Tell that to my legs, one is shorter than the other so i have to get orthopedic insoles for the rest of my life otherwise i'll get a scoliosis...
That's the whole point though. The rest of us never think about the fact that our legs are the same length.
Ah Scoliosis, it really is the worst pokemon.
I think they don't grow at the same rate or how would you have someone with one leg a little longer than the other.
When I was little, the bones in one of my legs were growing to fast for my muscles to keep up. I spent half a year without being able to bend that leg. Made walking up and down the stairs at school kind of difficult.
Mine didn’t grow at the same pace and ended 7mm off. Gave me minor scoliosis and messed up both my knee and hip on the short leg side. Not fun
7 mm is 0.00236 decempeda pertica/perch ([ref](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Roman_units_of_measurement))
You know what most people take for granted? That their FEET are the same size.
My left foot is half a size smaller. Shoes either squish the right foot, or fall off the left one.
You try buying stilettos with feet like that!
A more disturbing take on this kind of showerthought:
People with handicaps and hereditary genetic disorders/mutations would have "died off" according to natural selection, but thanks to modern medicine they instead reproduce and pass their genes.
I'm not against medicine for all, we're doing the right thing, but it's a fascinating perspective.
Alturism sacrifices individualized survival for collective survival. The so-called less fit members of society can still provide valuable auxiliary roles to free up time for the fitter members to take on more demanding tasks.
They don't grow at the same rate and typically aren't even the same length. This is why children are constantly falling for no reason, because their legs are always changing lengths at different rates.
> This is why children are constantly falling
I thought they were just stupid.
they can be both
Because in all other respects children are renowned for their well-developed coordination...?
Learning to be bipedal is amazing coordination.
Speaking for ourselves, aren't we. My legs grew at different paces and had about 1-2 cm difference in length at some point.
Legs? Yes. But feet? Oh no. Not for me at least. Thankfully the size difference is very minimal.
As someone that has two different sized legs. Y'all have no idea how lucky y'all are.
My legs have a notable difference, I am unable to ride a bike.
Speak for yourself samelegger. I have one leg slightly longer than the other.
In fact most humans are slightly asymmetrical and have one side that is stronger, and leg lengths differ even by a few millimetres in most people. Even faces, if you mirror each side then for most people you can see they developed slightly differently.
My right leg used to be almost an entire inch longer than my right so uhhhhh you’re wrong lol
My doctor when I was a kid had one leg that was shorter than her other one by a significant amount
Speak for yourself buddy, my left legt thought it would be funny to NOT DO THAT!
Mine aren’t the same length
You can actually have a leg .5 inch or so longer than the other go get someone to pull on em
Haha my sister's didn't 😅
She ended up getting surgery to lengthen one a little and stop the growth in the other since the difference was big like 4 inches
How high are you?
Some people have different size legs. I know one.
It doesn't always. My wife had a genetic condition which caused one side of her body to grow less than the other side, which in turn caused many joint and spinal problems. She had an operation to stretch her right leg 5cm. I posted a post-op x-ray here https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/6ep6jw/not_your_usual_pic_my_wifes_leg_after_having_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
One of my legs is longer than the other and it's caused a host of problems. Then tendons and ligaments on the left side of my body are way too loose, so I dislocate things all the time. My hips have rotated and it causes a painful snap every step I take. The rotated hips caused my spine to curve. I'm an orthopedic nightmare.