By - Eltrisheur
Do you understand youre probobly shutting yourself from reall relationships where you'll actually be loved?
I don't feel the need to have a real person to love me. I fully understand your point of view but to reassure you: I have a great social life, I play sports, I have friends, I go on long hikes etc.
my friends, my family and my waifu are enough for me.
should I throw my self at men, even if I am not interested in the individual, or like force myself to go to bars and act as cute or sexy as possible and give anyone a "i'll get to know ya" shot?
Why an anime gorl instead of a real one
This is a question I unfortunately can’t have the answer to since whatever happens it will not be the logical part of my brain that speaks and it will therefore be incomprehensible.
In more detail wouldnt you be more comfortable having somone actually there as opposed to an anime waifu? Also what about people who have the samw waifu?
I really don't know about your first question, I told you before, I can't answer since I can't give any logical answer. sorry
for the second question, it may happen that i express a little jealousy when i see someone with the same waifu as me. but I want to say "if he likes my waifu, good for them". I didn't create the character so I don't have to impose my jealousy on them, that would be counterproductive and very violent on my part. I prefer to tell myself that everyone has their own vision of their waifu, which basically makes them a different waifu.
My last question. Is it not possible that you just like anime and dont want a relationship and feel the need to put a title to it since it might make you feel isolated to those around you. Even if your social that doesnt mean you cant feel lonely.
Even if you're alone, it doesn't necessarily mean you're lonely. Conversely, even if you're with someone, it doesn't necessarily mean you're not lonely.
I've experienced both.
If you can’t answer the most important question of if this is healthy for you and if it would be better for you to have a real person, then maybe you should rethink some things and not just accept this as normal.
your question wasn't if it was healthy for me but why i prefer it to a real relationship what i told you i can't explain since it's irrational it comes from the heart. if the question is "is this healthy for me" then I would answer that for me yes but that it is not for everyone
Do you think being a waifuist is okay for your mental health? Why or why not?
in my case, i don't have any real problem in life since i'm an open-minded person, i accept that people have different opinions (that's the very principle of opinions or politics).
in my case, it allows me to thrive in life. of course i probably wouldn't know being able to have your girlfriend in a physical way and i KNOW SHE IS NOT REAL but that doesn't bother me and is okay with me. it helps me regain courage or strength when I can go wrong and it also gives me more and more logical reasons to achieve my goals even when they can be painful.
so me it allows me to be fulfilled. but that says it is not given to everyone. I think it can have negative effects on someone's health if the person uses waifuism to stay in their comfort zone and not make any effort (not my case therefore since I have friends, I 'have a family that loves me, I play sports and I am improving day by day). if waifuism is an excuse to stay in a lifestyle that hinders the person's development, I consider that yes, it can have harmful effects. but this is not the main cause. This is a CONSEQUENCE.
in summary: if the person is positive, and motivated: waifuism will be beneficial to him.
if the person is pessimistic and prone to procrastination, it CAN be negative.
Don't you think it's having a negative effect on your social life? Making you miss human affection and love
They make one point, but [this says otherwise](https://www.reddit.com/r/waifuism/comments/ppe2n9/i_think_im_toxic_for_my_waifu_emilia/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
This is not what mentally stable individuals with friends do. I'm really not trying to be harsh.
Personnally I have the affection of my friends and my parents so no, especially as I am sociable and very talkative so I have no trouble socializing and forging very strong bonds with people.
Hey there, I used to be the friend of a waifuist and I have quite a lot of experience with waifuists. And generally I would be supportive if you folks weren't so damn jealous. (The question is at the end but I'd be happy if you could also reply to my thoughts inbetween)
The issue I always had is that watching my friends suffer over what I consider nothing always left me feeling very crept out. I crush on fictional characters myself but I have never felt such jealousy or sadness or depression over fiction.
I understand that you are super hormonally involved which is why you suffer with jealousy etc. but it still creeps me out and I cannot do anything against it, heaven knows I tried.
In my opinion, fictional characters should be nothing but a source of happiness and if they cause you ANY suffering one must stop.
Yes that also means if you are jealous at other characters or even real people. Or if you suffer because they are not real.
I know you folks are TECHNICALLY aware that they are fictional but I still always had the feeling that something within the waifuists I knew was delusional even if they tried their best not to be. I felt like they couldn't fight against the delusion even if they were smart and self-reflective. They couldn't see how deep they were in already.
I tried to understand waifuism, I really dived deep, I tried to empathize but something never felt right to me. Up to this day, waifuism sounds like a curse to me, I often hear "but the upsides make our love worth it" but when I remember my former waifuist friends I disagree, they suffered too much from my point of view.
I also met ex-waifuists who agree that waifuism is a cult that traps people in delusion, borderline or obvious and that all the encouragement and support keeps them in there.
My friendship ended because the character I crush on was her husbando and while that was no issue with me it was a great issue for her. I suffered under her jealousy ontop of other issues I won't go into detail with but let's just say if one stalks other artists for many years because "they could love him too much" then goddamn do you need a break from that character!
I excuse any aggressive sounding tone here, I might still be emotionally involved since that friendship breakup was only a week ago and very messy. I want to know your thoughts about what I said and I promise to be civil about whatever you say. Please don't take anything personally, I don't know you after all.
I would finally like to ask: Is there any way for you to find a way around the jealousy and sadness? So you can only feel happiness? If I ever befriend a waifuist again I'd love to give them that tip. Because if you folks were just/mainly happy then I'd be able to accept it as a lifestyle. Until then my mental health cannot handle being close to such troubled love.
Am looking forward to your reply and excuse the lengthy expression of thoughts.
I will answer you this: life is made up of highs and lows, and if we know happiness, we must also accept sometimes being sad or feeling non-joyful emotions.
Sadness is not a bad thing, it sometimes allows you to communicate your feelings and express your true inner state, it allows you to calm down and allow yourself a moment to be able to free your head from some of our burdens etc.
but we must not forget that yes, sadness if too strong in dosage can lead to apathy which can lead to depression .
I think waifuism isn't for everyone. As you say, some people like your friends, from what I've read, prefer to let their jealousy take precedence over their love and relationship, which is not healthy. but this is above all the expression of a certain selfishness.
they remind me a lot of episode 11, 12 and 13 of re: Zero or SPOILER
>!in this episode we see a Subaru frustrated at not having control over the situations that arise: he gets annoyed when someone greets Emilia, he overinterprets the events etc. and all this will lead him to episode 13 where he becomes completely selfish: he broke the promise he had made to her and speaks in her name in an angry way in front of important personalities which puts her in the final embarrassment.!< I think you should watch these two episodes even without the context of the series, I'm sure you will understand what I'm talking about
the problem is not jealousy itself. this is a normal human feeling. that's when he takes precedence over love for her waifu.
if jealousy takes precedence over love for her waifu, yes that's not a good thing. and I agree with you on this point
I don't really have an answer to your question because it depends on each one. I am no longer jealous for the simple reason that I consider that each person has a personal interpretation of their waifu so that basically they are two different characters. no reason to be jealous so
and concerning sadness, waifuism is not a cause and effect link that leads to it. do not confuse correlation and causality.
So I will answer you that waifuism is above all the fact of loving a fictional character. I really don't think that's what made them so jealous, I think it's their VISION of waifuism instead.
to conclude: if someone feels jealous of another waifuist, it is normal and natural. but if he is too jealous, remind him that everyone has a personal interpretation of their waifu, and therefore they are two different characters.
Ahhhhhh I love your answer because I think the same when it comes to jealousy and I am glad you view it that way! This is how I view the character I crush on too. I wish your answer would help everyone, I suggested that to my former friend but nope. She was hellbent on the thought that he was her lover in a past life who was reborn as an idea so... hm :/ no logic would convince her otherwise.
Anyway you seem like a healthy waifuist from the little I've heard, mostly because you seem to be aware of the dangers and managed to not let sad feelings get in the way between you and others.
>I think waifuism isn't for everyone. As you say, some people like your friends, from what I've read, prefer to let their jealousy take precedence over their love and relationship, which is not healthy. but this is above all the expression of a certain selfishness.
this this this this!
Since my friend and I were loving the same character issues were bound to happen. But while I had no problem with her feelings - they seemed cute and also made me feel confirmed in my own taste - she became jealous of me and even though she tried to hide it she would show how hurt she was.
She had stalked me since 2016 because she feared that I would love him and when I publicly distanced myself from waifuism she became obsessed with being my friend.
She was jealous not only of my feelings towards him but also because I already had that reputation of liking him because of my art and she didn't have that.
She still stalks artists who she thinks might love him too much.
There were so many issues, it was terrible.
Anyway I am glad you've combatted that and I hope you and your waifu (Emilia, right?) live happily ever after :)
From your previous comments, I have gathered that you understand that your waifu isn't real, right that's completely understandable.
In that case, I'll bring up why I think waifuism is a problem and you can tell me what you personally think of it.
How do you feel about the fact that since your waifu isn't real that she will never truly love you back because it's not a person that exists and is therefore impossible for her to love or feel anything. How do you feel about the fact that she doesn't really have a personality as an actual person and could be made to do anything by the writer of the series. With regular people you can of course know how they would react in a situation by asking them or, for even more accuracy, you'd put them in that situations. Waifus don't have an actual personality, you cannot know how she would react, you can only make assumptions based on their written personality, based on what they've done/how they've reacted before.
You see, the main reason why I think that it's unhealthy to be a waifuist is that you're in fact loving nothing, if you're a waifuist you must be under some level of delusion. Nobody can love something that cannot feel, doesn't have a personality, doesn't love them back etc. Nobody can truly love something that they believe completely isn't real. There must be a part at least that you feel is real.
I'll bring you a hypothetical, if you met a woman in real life, and if she was just like your waifu (of course, with alterations based on whatever is possible in real life), given it's possible, would you leave your waifu for that woman? We're assuming that she is not your waifu of course, she's not her reincarnation or whatever you want to call it, she's just a person that has personality + looks close to that.
no problem, that's the purpose of this thread to exchange.
waifuism is loving a fictional character. so obviously we know that it is not real, that there is no possible physical interaction and that some things may be inaccessible to us. but to that, I would answer that it must be accepted quite simply. Certainly some things will be missing but on the other hand the love that we have been made to accept the situation.
Regarding the personality, I think that while it is on that the personality is determined only by the author, the latter I think avoid as much as possible to move away from the image that the character communicated at the base. if the character changes completely without a scenaristic reason, it is no longer really a personality problem but above all a bad writing (except if it is obviously well brought up, the writing of character is a complex exercise which requires to control certain scenaristic procedures). so to that I would answer that I consider a change in personality to be unlikely given the series where it comes from. but it is a very interesting point that you underlined.
for having been in contact with and being close waifuist myself, the brain can fall in love with a fictional character. If you want to know more I think that on Google there must be articles which explain in a scientific way what happens when you like a fictional character.
for the last question, obviously not since my waifu has something special (impossible to explain that in a rational and logical way).
well, i would end with the fact that even though i don't agree with you about your view of waifuism, i respect your opinion and i still found it interesting to read.
except for people who think God loves them like they love God and their famaily
Are you aware that your cartoon wife isn’t real? I mean to the degree that you realize your fantasies originate from 2d inanimate drawings.
Also, do you not think that the touch of skin and sexual experience with another human being would be far more fulfilling than with an inanimate pillow or via masturbation over drawings? And if your answer to the second question is no, how would you know if you you have never tried it?
And third, what about hentai is sexually appealing to you, is it the (to put it lightly) the appearance of the subjects that cannot be legally had in real porn or is it the slightly homoerotic nature of the outfits, the non specific androgynous mannerisms and other factors which go to suggest repressed homosexuality?
1. yes I am fully aware of that, but I don't mind. I dissociate the reality from the fictitious, moreover, I know very well that this is not necessarily well seen in current society or that people may not appreciate anything but I accept it since living in society is also adapt to the latter. so i'm a waifuist, i love my waifu but i have no problem socializing with others. I know very well that the fact that the characters are fictitious makes it one-sided.
but I accept this uncertainty anyway.
2. for the second question: I don't particularly feel the need to be with a real person in a relationship. I have friends with whom we laugh a lot and besides even if they are not in favor of waifuism I do not hold it against them since everyone has the right to have their opinion on this subject, I have a family cool, I play sports (weight training, running, I like to go for long hikes). I dress well. in short, no relationship problem. it's just that I'm happy with my friendships and with my waifu.
3. for the last question: I no longer jerk off for personal reasons (harmful effect only to pornography on the human brain, in particular the dysregulation of dopamine and the reward circuit which gradually leads to depression and the fact that masturbation tires the human body)
Wow, well your clearly not your average waifuist, I wish your compatriots had the same grip on reality as you seem to have
>but I accept it since living in society is also adapt to the latter.
I just want to say this is an incredibly sensible and mature thing to realise. You seem quite well rounded and capable. Good luck!
i for myself am weird with touch. i really don't like to be touched, part of me screams for touch. but I'm such a horrible bastard that I have to like what a man looks like to get to know him and then want to be touched by him. this happens maybe every 4 years of crossing paths with strangers or interacting with retail workers. and the only way to get over phobias is to flood or emerse yourself in touching. there is nobody i want to say "hey i need to get over not liking being touched, so hug and pet me like you would a cat, or snuggle me like you would a baby I really don't want this but I will never get a boyfriend. who wants a hands-off woman? hands-off pets are one thing, but not a romantic partner"
very rarely have I seen a man (i do not like women that way) and want to touch him. would you rather snuggle a cute puppy or an aye-aye coverd in peterolium jelly?
I am also afraid of sex and have never interacted with a man I grunt/scream/lamment/moan/whatever about "needing him" and still need that "hello gorgeous" which, again, very rarely happens. if I had the opportunity to bang some "hollywood heartthrob" i would just force myself to do it so I can brag about bedding such a desirable.
Most waifuists are aware their partner isn't real and fully accept that. Theres also waifuists who have dated people irl and find waifuism more fulfilling regardless. Also, theres plenty of women who enjoy hentai??? Your last question confuses me.
Why do you think you fell for an anime character over a real person? I have seen animated characters that are frankly quite attractive, but I've never fallen in love with them, and on the flip side I'm sure you've seen real people you've found quite attractive, but why did you end up with an anime character, was it just chance?
this is impossible to explain rationally, I can only tell you the story of why I love my waifu but not give you a scientific explanation
i don't know how it works. I wound up falling for Axel/Lea from Kingdom Hearts franchize and I did NOT expect it, or "run out and choose it", it is perplexing, and sometimes I think I "need something for myself" from the character. like how some idiot thinks wearing an onyx necklace of a bear carving will "give them" some kind of guidance.
I don't know if any guys that are "into me" from dating sites are just scammers or just want to use me as a sex toy(and are willing to drive 50 miles to meet me too!) and I do not know how to flirt with retail workers, as it only happens if someone catches me eye it will be unfortnate "you cannot bother this man he is working, he is here to sell you items, not give you his phonenumber, that only happens in tv shows, those flirting tips websites are written by morons"
Not really gonna shit on you man you do you, no one can take your happiness away if you truly love the 2-d girls. But i love to get a few laughs off of people who blindly go down the waifuism path. Best of luck out there my man.
What does your waifu has that real woman don't?
impossible to explain in a logical and rational way, there is something special about her that I cannot describe in any words.
She’s only “special” because she was created by some random old man designer who knows what traits are valuable and liked by many people.
I understand people liking a character (because hell, we’ve all been there and done that, including myself). Some may even like a character greatly. However, I don’t understand how one can feel an intimate connection to a fictional character. The only reasonable explanation I have for this is if a person did not have healthy relations between family and/or friends and believed fiction was their only meaningful outlet. Given this, how can one genuinely love a fictional character?
Also, while we may not see eye to eye regarding this topic, I commend you for posting this. I feel that most people in your sphere probably wouldn’t open up a conversation like this.
it is either an orientation or a paraphalia
To the original poster. Thank you so much for this very sensible and eye-opening thread. :) Nice to hear from a well-balanced waifuist. I'm not a waifuist and not against the practice, I just read this sub and the waifuist sub as an attempt to understand both sides. I wish you all the best. Merci beaucoup et bonne chance. :)
How did you fall In love with your wiafui?
in the same way that a human being simply falls in love with an average person.
Do you think some of our criticisms are valid?
I haven't seen much of your criticism here so I couldn't give a really relevant opinion but I think any criticism is good to take as long as it is constructive and aimed at establishing a dialogue.
no criticism is bad except when it is in no way constructive (criticism that uses an ad hominem or ad personam argument, for example).
without criticism the world simply cannot move forward.
>no criticism is bad except when it is in no way constructive
I agree totally. To be honest too much criticism of Waifuism has descended into bullying in the past
>Ad hominem (Latin for 'to the person'), short for argumentum ad hominem, refers to several types of arguments, some but not all of which are fallacious. Typically this term refers to a rhetorical strategy where the speaker attacks the character, motive, or some other attribute of the person making an argument rather than attacking the substance of the argument itself. The most common form of ad hominem is "A makes a claim x, B asserts that A holds a property that is unwelcome, and hence B concludes that argument x is wrong".
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some of them make it sound like "falling for" someone is an active choise. some kid who thinks Channing Tatum is hot chose that( i did encounter one years ago, she looked 12 or 10, she was flabbergasted I was not thinking he was hot, I forget what character I was into at the time, I don't think it was Kakashi from Naruto)
I understand. I personally think the actions of a few members make bullies go after others (for example, some users post unsettling, poorly put together posts. So trolls go after harmless individuals think if they are cuts of the same cloth). It's just something I have noticed. It's especially bad when it comes to younger Waifuists.
How old are you?
I kind of have a theory that waifuists fall in two categories. Teenagers or very very lonely adults who fool themselves into thinking that its okay.
Also, very strange your English is very perfect and youre using complex words properly despite claiming you use Google Translate. Went through your post history just to see if you were a troll or not. Saw some misspellings common with those who speak English- but not other romantic languages. Google translate wouldnt give you common English misspellings. Have you studied English for a long time, but somehow cant read it? Ive been studying Spanish for six years and no where near that level of complexity.
Je t’assure que je suis bien français, c’est ma langue maternelle !
yes I have about 10 years of English but it is not my mother language.
I am 17 years old.
I can read English, I read a lot since I have been hanging out on English-speaking websites for a long time (that may explain the mistakes in English)
Makes sense, just felt off that your English was super perfect. It tends to be that children will say "Sorry for my English!" to hide their poor grammar and spellings.
Being 17, do you feel you will grow out of it?
I can't predict the future unfortunately, so I can't tell you.
I'm just only going to tell you that right now I'm happy and love my waifu
What made you choose being an waifuist
simply the fact that I ended up loving my waifu.
1.how do you date your waifu/husbando when they can’t consent to it? like say for example you had some qualities your s/o doesn’t like but you decide to date them anyways, wouldn’t that just feel forced and even more fake?
2.do you understand that the love your love for them is one-sided?
3. do you ever crave a real relationship? how do you cope?
4. after you have sex with your s/o do you ever feel sadness afterwards?
5. are you really fulfilled by imagining conversation with your s/o?
6. how do some of you argue with your s/o or have dilemmas with them despite the fact that they aren’t real?
7. seeing as how this probably isn’t a phase for most of you, do you really see yourself living the rest of your life with your s/o? don’t you think at some point you’d like to try loving a real person?
8. can your s/o be a vtuber? i feel like that’d be pretty messed up
i feel bad a lot of people treat you guys like shit, i try to sympathize but it’s so hard to watch, i just don’t understand how one could get any fulfillment out of something they know isn’t real.
1. waifuism is loving a fictional character so that means the waifuist must know that he does not exist. I know very well that the character is not real. so the thing is, we'll never know if our S / O will love us.
concerning the fact that as you say it so well, some of our faults may be unappreciated by our waifu, and well I too find faults in it. I mean, nothing is perfect and a waifu can have big flaws. so I try to improve myself in these areas so I could become a better person since I can recognize that some of my faults can be hateful (like the fact that I am often self-centered)
2. I don't have sex with my S / O.
3. yes, in fact most of the time it's not even conversations in my head it's just me doing a logical analysis of myself first to see my flaws and problems which makes me want to change. my waifu is just a factor that strengthens my determination, not something that makes me determined
4.I try to interpret the opinion she will have
5. really complicated to answer this one, but I think that yes, their S/O is more than enough for them, they do not feel the need to have absolutely a physical presence to be happy
6. I don’t know
when some people eat with their s/o and give them a plate of food do they just throw it out afterwards? or do they just eat their share?
I don't know, I've never done that
Do you have any problems with waifuism as a whole? As in the community around it, not your personal waifu relationship.
the community ? well I don't have a big problem with people in the community. My biggest problem is mostly that some people use waifuism to stay in their comfort zone and not make any effort, or else waifuism is just an excuse to express their jealousy or anger.
these people do not realize that waifuism is not for them since waifuist which is the fact of loving a fictional character is supposed to be something positive and beneficial. Obviously you have to accept the negative sides of it, but some people are borderline more jealous than they like their waifu.
A few questions here:
When did you start engaging(?) in waifuism? And why was it an option for you?
You said in a comment before that you 'fell in love with your waifu'. What is it about her specifically that you love?
Is the fact that she's not real (bro) an important part of your relationship?
What are your thoughts on some of the posts on here? Some of the posts and comments seem almost like bullying to me, but I’m curious how you would view them.
Also, though I don’t agree with waifuism, I personally believe that you can do whatever you want, even if it is a bit weird. I’m not sure if others would agree with that.
Where do you personally draw the line? At what point would you consider someone taking waifuism "too far"?
for me, waifuism can have harmful effects as long as the person is in a depressed and unstable mental state. as I said in one of my comments, waifuism is not the causal link that causes sadness, jealousy, anger etc. it's just loving a fictional character.
if waifuism isn't helping the person get better or it keeps them in their comfort zone, then I think it's not for them.
waifuism is a good thing, but it's not for everyone
Why don’t you get a girlfriend
I don't feel the need, I'm fine with my friends and my waifu
Have you ever seen the sun?
Yes bro. I have friends, i practise sport, I like to go on long hikes and walk around the city for the sake of feeling the fresh air.
So.. Are traps gay?
The real answer is it depends. The question you are really asking is if cross dressing is gay. No, it doesn't have to be.
I feel bad for the questions you are going to get
I mean, read them. He's being treated perfectly well (aside from a few assholes)
what i had no idea people actually took this shit seriously
have you lot ever tried speaking to a woman
Don't be an ignoramus
How do you feel, when people trash-talk about waifuists?
(Without them knowing you are a waifuist too.)
How bad are insults people give you?
Do you understand that you are essentially in love with yourself? Any interaction you think you have with your waifu, any conversations you imagine you two to have, any characteristics, dialogue, behaviors that are in any way not from the original media that they are from is of your own creation. They are in no way interacting *with* you, *you* are personifying them in your own mind as basically an imaginary friend/partner who was just initially a concept created by someone else.
I hope this doesn't come across too judgmental. I understand that self love and acceptance play a huge part in one's life, and I hope that you can find more grounded ways to practice that self care. However, I also hope you and others like you come to realize that pretending a fake person is in love with you is not healthy and is borderline delusional. Living divorced from reality is not and can never truly be beneficial to one's mental health. Genuinely, good luck in this big wide world. ❤️
what did you think after seeing your waifu in a hentai? did you feel bad or did you want to jerk off?
I don’t watch hentai
Pornography can be dangerous for Brain because of the dysregulation of the reward circuit of the brain
Ok I support this