T O P
roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >- Recently single stay at home mom >- 27 130lbs, 5’6” >- Love my babies >- Love photography >- Little temperamental >- lover of animals and traveling --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


Environmental_Buy914

Your kids will be able to breastfeed standing up


UcallmeNightHawk

At least kids with OF moms may get some cool toys outta the deal. Her kids are gonna have their classmates digging up this old roast me Reddit tiddy pic and will laugh their asses off.


Jen_207

😭😂😂


Forever_Daddy

Your personality is showing


xnachtmahrx

And left hanging


InerasableStain

Like two fried eggs nailed to a wall


EstherClemmens

And if they pop out of the sling they're in, you'll see that combined they have 3 yolks.


_whistlepig_

More like raw eggs in a condom


Merkinstocks

Like she even knows what a condom is…


Competitive-Pack-324

Like 2 lemons in a pair of stockings.


Significant-Rub-8384

I thought I was going cross eyed


No_Antelope_6604

What's her bra size? 44 long?


theglobeonmyplate

Holy shit should be top comment!


TheHorrorAbove

Come on guys be nice, it not her fault her tits match her Sid the Sloth eyes.


HepatitisAtoZed

she learned long ago that the amount of time people can tolerate her is directly proportional to amount of cleavage visible


Bigdaddylovesfatties

Does it still count as cleavage if her nipples are pointing in opposite directions?


QuietDocuments

Even her tits are going through a trial separation.


durgadas

"He went THATAWAY!"


tiboric

I did think it would get philosophical in this thread when I clicked it


TheGolgafrinchan

I'm toleratin' the HELL out of her right now.


TheRedditMobileUser

What cleavage?


eithrusor678

People will even be able tolerate get when just looking at her feet pretty soon


Bulky_Kaleidoscope47

What?


fhjuyrc

Feet make yum pretty


Ztarog

Can we get a graph for representation of this?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ultramultimoo943

It’s not all she has. She’s had the clap so often, she calls it the applause.


rosswinn

An oldie but goodie.


BarlowsBitches

This one's new to me.... I'm going tonuse that in my next roast xD


Ooze3d

She also said something about bad temper, so it’s the classic “look at my tits, but if you look at them, I’ll get pissed”.


Atxfuntime4444

Internal convo “Do you think they’ll notice my tits? “


EyeServeYou

![gif](giphy|45qIurjWAnZv2)


Nase08

Wtf


CCCmonster

They’re saggy but at least distracts me from looking at the face long enough to not damage my eyes


snipersfire

Hope her feet at least look good, because those things are closer to the floor then her eyes.


The_Truth_Flirts

No point asking her, she's never seen them.


TheUmpteenth

Is there a bus route from one tit to the other? I mean, if you want to motorboat, you need a double hull.


livinglife9009

Says enough about her personality.


lez_m8

Give them some support before people think they're nuts


SantiagoGT

Her confidence is still intact but her tits have clearly been knocked down a couple feet


lez_m8

Low hanging fruit


Foreign-Ad-6154

Swing low, sweet chariots


MeatloafMa

They look like an apple in a sock.


[deleted]

Like a fried egg nailed to the wall.


xdylanthehumanx

Salvador Dali titties


Spiritual_Poo

Bro I used to have a roommate who dated a girl. Grapefruits in plastic grocery bags stapled to her chest. It was awful


ButtholeQuiver

That sounds like my last strip club experience. Once the top popped it was like two pendulums


TH3_ST0CK

*Do your tits hang low?* *Do they wobble to and fro?* *Can you tie 'em in a knot?* *Can you tie 'em in a bow?* *Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder* *Like a continental soldier* *Do your tits hang low?*


akbbgtc

I'll never look at that singing elephant the same way...


Lewis-Hamilton_

I love how that’s where you know the song from


surroundedbybanjos

r/saggy


-BIG--DADDY-

I joined 😎


Sogone2day

Goddammit reddit and all those orangutan tits


m1rrari

But I mean… you had to look.


johnwillywanker

![gif](giphy|yLUDES1hibWNiwBCNs)


AlertSanity

There really is a fetish for everything I guess


Fx_Trip

For everything? Bro any guy that loved big titties when he was young, loves his girl when she naturally ages a bit. Never mind a fetish is defined as an obsession of an object or body part.... didn't know I has a tittie "fettish" I thought I was just male.


Cerealandmolk

I knew it was going to be bad, but I looked anyway and now I’m rethinking my life’s choices.


surroundedbybanjos

By 40, she's gonna be stepping on her nipples unless she get them reduced. Her bra size will be a 52 Long.


HaNa9514

If I weren’t such a broke whore I’d send you an award, because this comment is pure gold


socialpresence

>If I weren’t such a broke whore OnlyFans isn't working out, hu, who would have thot?


-DoomSteeL

That's WHOREific, man


Sue_Ridge_Here1

It could be a whore moan imbalance.


Fun_Agency6363

Dont you have money from staring in breaking bad as Marie Schrader or did it all go to ur awful tit job


Villian6

I laughed God, please let my plane arrives in one peace


roggrats

I’ve got some hangers in the closet I can spare !


Lantoleo

“Eyes down here please… PLEASE!”


Bobreddit2015

WAAAAAAY the fuck down here


[deleted]

She's at the particular age when she transitions from a 38 D to a 34 Long.


swissmtndog398

Nothing like playing soccer... with your tits.


Righteousaffair999

May your tits hang low may the wobble too and fro. You can tie them in a knot you can tie them in a bow.


[deleted]

Yeah, I bet those things get in her way when she is rooting through the forest looking for truffles


FineOldCannibals

I actually lol’d


DeepFrySpam

![gif](giphy|8qABb3dgjun8PdNirg)


NizzyTyme

Holy shit, I laughed very hard at this. I needed it, thank you.


Bright-Lengthiness61

You look like you'd have the voice of Fran Drescher


darkholme82

First one I read that isn't about her tits. Good job!


austin_yella

![gif](giphy|1d5Zn8FqmJqApu4hNU)


Vidimus_Vicimus

I watched a video of her to get the full effect lol


Agreeable_Purchase69

![gif](giphy|6ikwZfEzQ0pWM)


haineko1988

GIFs you can hear


emgeenz

Knocking her down lower than those tiddies!


Polish_ketchup

Gravity will help knock that ego down


[deleted]

I think she's under the impression that keeping two opposing magnets in her bra is the solution to that problem. EDIT: To save any further confusion, I'm talking about repelling magnets, not opposite poles...


Qwesterly

>opposing magnets OMG I'm dyin' here!


BlueMensa

By the amount of makeup, father time is already kicking her ass..


EyeMemeFreely

Ive seen orangatuans with perkier tits than those flapjacks


ceezo6

Gawd damn 🤣🤣🤣


guriboysf

![gif](giphy|sXGn8YIg7nbBC)


BelhodoRestelo

Au natural Baby


Vulpes_Irae

Swing low sweet chariot


CheeseAndCh0c0late

Sauce ?


Rivrunnr1

Jesus Christ.


Mikec6463

Oranga-titties.


exclusive_reclusive

LMAO THIS COMMENT I’M DECEASED ☠️⚰️


GinaFrom_VA

Lmfao I peed


EyeMemeFreely

Ive never made a gal squirt before.....😆😆🌊


hajiomatic

So the OF not going well?


Panshot422

All $2 of proceeds spent on waxing the uni-brow


HalfbakedArtichoke

![gif](giphy|IzCO8jnS2YNPy)


BeniMineB

Yup she decided to switch to the highly lucrative r/roastme


bongotrongo1945

She's here farming simps. Her DM's will be packed with them by now. Look at her post about money problems from less than two weeks ago.


roboticseagull

Speaking of posting history, she seems to have [gained 10 lbs in 9 days](https://old.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/xakaae/day_or_night_man_or_woman_why_do_you_really_cross/inv7jpo/).


Pogo__the__Clown

She’s a single, stay at home mom. Of course her dumbass is broke.


makeski25

I'm quite surprised when the tits are out and it isn't an OF advertisement.


BlueBabyButterfly

It’s coming soon


[deleted]

Did she have an OF link?


hajiomatic

No. She lacks the ambition to make one.


YenneferVengerbergAF

Clearly angled the picture to hide your stomach and waist all while bragging about your "ego"


Good_Eatin

“130 lbs” yeah OKAY


rachelmae77

Yeah, in your BRA ![gif](giphy|vhaj0GMFlIeFa|downsized)


HiFructose_PornSyrup

How embarassing to put your weight in your roastme bio in the first place


Classic_Beautiful973

Idk I believe it, her waist looks pretty small and her skull may be quite empty


caveat_emptor817

Had me in the first half


FairJicama7873

Idk I’ve been 130 at 5’7 and I felt underweight back then cause you could see the bones in my chest and I had zero titties.


Impressive_Beyond_66

Each


GraveOverkill

Def


No_Gas_4956

Your face says, “I’m a sweet stay at home mom.” You’re clothing choice says, “I fuck the mailman.”


Slappy_G

I was gonna say Uber eats driver.


Dorkuzan

As prophet hoodvill says : She be getting that prime Uber meat.


Graspswasps

"Mommy can we have desert again?" - "Not today love, mommy's tired, and I'm getting jaw muscles like Dolph Lundgren"


qpearson1

Your tits are already lower than I could ever go.


Sue_Ridge_Here1

When they go low, you go high, with the help of a hydraulic pulley system.


Senior_Leave73

At least walking around with your lopsided titties out draws attention away from your russian prostitute makeup and crooked ass eyes


Sanramio

What eyes?


CompleteSpinach9

The makeup roast is the most accurate one I’ve seen yet This chick didn’t get the memo that nobody uses eyebrow stencils anymore


Papichuloft

Stay at Hoe Mom?


Frantic_Ranting

Stay-a-Hoe Mom!


GoEataDick789

Too bad covid is dying down. A mask would make you pretty hot.


GraveOverkill

Mask-ception


The_Spyre

When are you scheduled for your National Geographic shoot?


icwiener69420

As soon as her nipples touch her belt.


NLP_Onyx

So in about 6 months?


DidIAskForCheese

Stil living off the residuals from "Just Shoot Me"?


phukerstone23

Hey, that actress was cute. Don't smear her like this.


Any-Mouse-1992

Laura San giacomo…. In case anyone was curious


Nogster

The other hooker in Pretty Woman!


phukerstone23

Thank you. I saw her in The Stand first I think, and I thought she was foxy back then.


Any-Mouse-1992

Quigley down under is the one I remember her in the most


finkalicious

Most recently saw her in the show Barry!


Snuhmeh

She has ENORMOUS breasts, too.


zombear33

I understood this reference.


pridejoker

The only thing i remember about that show was the bit where people find out David spade's character has a huge dick.


AriMeowber

In a few more years those are gonna hang so low you’ll have knipples.


Omeaga10

Kneeples.


Phantommy555

Better


JonVork

SAHM - saggy as hell mammaries


LackXofXThought

10 more years and those things are gonna be out of frame.


maddogtannen316

27 year old with a high ego, the old saying what goes up must come down and if your only 27 I'd be prepared to tuck them into your jeans before too long.


acervontease

Face says 27, tits say 72.


JonVork

Did you do your hair on a unicycle?


ExcitementOrdinary95

You 35 right?


juaninazio

One tit pointing to Miami the other one to Seattle


Sue_Ridge_Here1

🎶 The telephone rings, it's one of your tits in Miami 🎶


mralf925

I only clicked to see if you had nudes


Doubleoh_11

Internet doing you favours today buddy. No one needs to see that


mlaforce321

This comment cracked me up for 2 reasons: 1) It was curt and succinct. 2) I did the same thing. Worth a silver anyday in my book


mralf925

Ah I see you’re a man of culture as well. Thank you sir


wiz-ski

Nipple —— navel —— nipple


Cute_Suggestion_598

Interesting uhhh... home life you have. Fiancé stealing your kid apparently and you turn to Reddit wearing nothing to the imagination so we can all point out that pregnancy did nothing for your tits situation.


mgj6818

His lawyer is going to love this


Enough-Staff-2976

You need a sign on your breast bone that says "Next tit one mile." You could fit the great state of Texas between your hound dog ears.


mxmnull

Just make the fucking OnlyFans already. We all know this is a dry test run for interest. Trust me, it's the only interesting thing about you.


sickwithitnyc

Chest so long I bet a belly ring would get mistaken for a nipple piercing.


Sweaty_Assignment_90

Looks like the Tuesday, day shift at the local nuddie bar has arrived. Get out your nickels boys!


theotterway

You're not a SAHM if you send your kids to daycare.


MadProphet72

Don't worry, you'll be dragging nipples by 35.


slynas

If you’re banking on making it through life by having those on display you’re in for as much disappointment as the person watching you take your top off.


the_real_Cucuy

National Geographic called...they want their tits back


DKS6

Looks like your ex-husbands friends already roast you pretty regularly.


lostmyshoes01

[Nissan Infiniti titties](https://imgur.com/a/yuraQDe)


AyAyRon1970

SAHM = Swinging And Hanging Mammaries


BurnCream

I bet you used to be pretty.


lazyLobster56

not in this lifetime


hajiomatic

Is your husband trying to auction you off because he can't stand your shit?


QueenSlapFight

She said SAHM, not SAHW. She has single mom written all over those udders.


DueAssociate6637

I think she mistook this app for onlyfans


Slow_Magician_5952

Fried eggs nailed to a wall


one_horcrux_short

The only thing that's going to distance themselves more from you than your tits is your kids


phaselock97

Ego and Confidence? Is that what you call them?


Merkin_Wrangler

I assume you don't jog. For multiple reasons.


kevbino13

![gif](giphy|12Wn7ox4gWevAs)


Jim-Turner

"Recently single mom" Putting it simple; "Only Fans launching soon. Sub only for 5$"


Charlie0692

Finally a women that knows her value, no onlyfans or fansly crao in bio or post because she understands no one would pay to see her naked not to mention it looks like instead of the red sea moses parted her tits


CarbonRunner

Damn, Marie from breaking bad got some implants and is hitting up the dating scene hard after hank died. But we all know you still do this after the one night stand ends ![gif](giphy|131s7DE2m4UWwo)


FreakyTongue35

Y’all are so predictable reddit. Tits and foreheads, or gay. Sweetie, It’s a shame because I bet you were a knockout in your 20s, 27 my ass. You look like cashier #2 down at the local grocery store. You read romance novels and have absolutely zero personality. Stretch marks galore and big feet for a short chick. How many cats are you up to? Can’t you find time to do your nails? It takes more than saggy tits to catch a man, especially with your level of baggage.


_yoers

This is what I wanted to see 😂 we need to have some standards here


jthughes84

What were you breastfeeding? 20 lb dumbbells?


Scape---Goat

You look like your mother drank while she was pregnant with you


Haematopoietin

Kinda looks like Ben Shapiro


Mr_Stabbykins

Mmm. I wish I had two more hands....so I could give those saggy grocery bags full of soup for tits 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 👎👎👎👎 The milk's gone bad!


kkrunyon

You are a stay at home mom but you have issues paying for childcare and are on assistance for it? Watch your own kids!


Superb-Coast-780

Your tits look like they’re trying to escape each other.


wileymd

You have the breasts of a much more attractive woman.


SL1Fun

Everything’s high compared to your tits.


Brief_Scale496

I probably could make fun of your tits also, but I refuse to go for the low hanging fruit


your_thebest

If I look up I see a woman selling herbalife and marry Kay. And if I look down I see that there are buyers.


PhlebotomusPrime

27 year old SAHM, more like you're 27 and your life is a SHAM


anonoilworker

Ya look like you sell Arbonne and onlyfans content while calling yourself a boss babe.