By - HaNa9514
>- Recently single stay at home mom
>- 27 130lbs, 5’6”
>- Love my babies
>- Love photography
>- Little temperamental
>- lover of animals and traveling
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Your kids will be able to breastfeed standing up
At least kids with OF moms may get some cool toys outta the deal. Her kids are gonna have their classmates digging up this old roast me Reddit tiddy pic and will laugh their asses off.
Your personality is showing
And left hanging
Like two fried eggs nailed to a wall
And if they pop out of the sling they're in, you'll see that combined they have 3 yolks.
More like raw eggs in a condom
Like she even knows what a condom is…
Like 2 lemons in a pair of stockings.
I thought I was going cross eyed
What's her bra size? 44 long?
Holy shit should be top comment!
Come on guys be nice, it not her fault her tits match her Sid the Sloth eyes.
she learned long ago that the amount of time people can tolerate her is directly proportional to amount of cleavage visible
Does it still count as cleavage if her nipples are pointing in opposite directions?
Even her tits are going through a trial separation.
"He went THATAWAY!"
I did think it would get philosophical in this thread when I clicked it
I'm toleratin' the HELL out of her right now.
People will even be able tolerate get when just looking at her feet pretty soon
Feet make yum pretty
Can we get a graph for representation of this?
It’s not all she has. She’s had the clap so often, she calls it the applause.
An oldie but goodie.
This one's new to me.... I'm going tonuse that in my next roast xD
She also said something about bad temper, so it’s the classic “look at my tits, but if you look at them, I’ll get pissed”.
Internal convo “Do you think they’ll notice my tits? “
They’re saggy but at least distracts me from looking at the face long enough to not damage my eyes
Hope her feet at least look good, because those things are closer to the floor then her eyes.
No point asking her, she's never seen them.
Is there a bus route from one tit to the other? I mean, if you want to motorboat, you need a double hull.
Says enough about her personality.
Give them some support before people think they're nuts
Her confidence is still intact but her tits have clearly been knocked down a couple feet
Low hanging fruit
Swing low, sweet chariots
They look like an apple in a sock.
Like a fried egg nailed to the wall.
Salvador Dali titties
Bro I used to have a roommate who dated a girl. Grapefruits in plastic grocery bags stapled to her chest. It was awful
That sounds like my last strip club experience. Once the top popped it was like two pendulums
*Do your tits hang low?*
*Do they wobble to and fro?*
*Can you tie 'em in a knot?*
*Can you tie 'em in a bow?*
*Can you throw 'em o'er your shoulder*
*Like a continental soldier*
*Do your tits hang low?*
I'll never look at that singing elephant the same way...
I love how that’s where you know the song from
I joined 😎
Goddammit reddit and all those orangutan tits
But I mean… you had to look.
There really is a fetish for everything I guess
For everything? Bro any guy that loved big titties when he was young, loves his girl when she naturally ages a bit.
Never mind a fetish is defined as an obsession of an object or body part.... didn't know I has a tittie "fettish" I thought I was just male.
I knew it was going to be bad, but I looked anyway and now I’m rethinking my life’s choices.
By 40, she's gonna be stepping on her nipples unless she get them reduced.
Her bra size will be a 52 Long.
If I weren’t such a broke whore I’d send you an award, because this comment is pure gold
>If I weren’t such a broke whore
OnlyFans isn't working out, hu, who would have thot?
That's WHOREific, man
It could be a whore moan imbalance.
Dont you have money from staring in breaking bad as Marie Schrader or did it all go to ur awful tit job
I laughed God, please let my plane arrives in one peace
I’ve got some hangers in the closet I can spare !
“Eyes down here please… PLEASE!”
WAAAAAAY the fuck down here
She's at the particular age when she transitions from a 38 D to a 34 Long.
Nothing like playing soccer... with your tits.
May your tits hang low may the wobble too and fro. You can tie them in a knot you can tie them in a bow.
Yeah, I bet those things get in her way when she is rooting through the forest looking for truffles
I actually lol’d
Holy shit, I laughed very hard at this. I needed it, thank you.
You look like you'd have the voice of Fran Drescher
First one I read that isn't about her tits. Good job!
I watched a video of her to get the full effect lol
GIFs you can hear
Knocking her down lower than those tiddies!
Gravity will help knock that ego down
I think she's under the impression that keeping two opposing magnets in her bra is the solution to that problem.
EDIT: To save any further confusion, I'm talking about repelling magnets, not opposite poles...
OMG I'm dyin' here!
By the amount of makeup, father time is already kicking her ass..
Ive seen orangatuans with perkier tits than those flapjacks
Gawd damn 🤣🤣🤣
Au natural Baby
Swing low sweet chariot
LMAO THIS COMMENT I’M DECEASED ☠️⚰️
Lmfao I peed
Ive never made a gal squirt before.....😆😆🌊
So the OF not going well?
All $2 of proceeds spent on waxing the uni-brow
Yup she decided to switch to the highly lucrative r/roastme
She's here farming simps. Her DM's will be packed with them by now. Look at her post about money problems from less than two weeks ago.
Speaking of posting history, she seems to have [gained 10 lbs in 9 days](https://old.reddit.com/r/TooAfraidToAsk/comments/xakaae/day_or_night_man_or_woman_why_do_you_really_cross/inv7jpo/).
She’s a single, stay at home mom. Of course her dumbass is broke.
I'm quite surprised when the tits are out and it isn't an OF advertisement.
It’s coming soon
Did she have an OF link?
No. She lacks the ambition to make one.
Clearly angled the picture to hide your stomach and waist all while bragging about your "ego"
“130 lbs” yeah OKAY
Yeah, in your BRA
How embarassing to put your weight in your roastme bio in the first place
Idk I believe it, her waist looks pretty small and her skull may be quite empty
Had me in the first half
Idk I’ve been 130 at 5’7 and I felt underweight back then cause you could see the bones in my chest and I had zero titties.
Your face says, “I’m a sweet stay at home mom.” You’re clothing choice says, “I fuck the mailman.”
I was gonna say Uber eats driver.
As prophet hoodvill says : She be getting that prime Uber meat.
"Mommy can we have desert again?"
- "Not today love, mommy's tired, and I'm getting jaw muscles like Dolph Lundgren"
Your tits are already lower than I could ever go.
When they go low, you go high, with the help of a hydraulic pulley system.
At least walking around with your lopsided titties out draws attention away from your russian prostitute makeup and crooked ass eyes
The makeup roast is the most accurate one I’ve seen yet
This chick didn’t get the memo that nobody uses eyebrow stencils anymore
Stay at Hoe Mom?
Too bad covid is dying down. A mask would make you pretty hot.
When are you scheduled for your National Geographic shoot?
As soon as her nipples touch her belt.
So in about 6 months?
Stil living off the residuals from "Just Shoot Me"?
Hey, that actress was cute. Don't smear her like this.
Laura San giacomo…. In case anyone was curious
The other hooker in Pretty Woman!
Thank you. I saw her in The Stand first I think, and I thought she was foxy back then.
Quigley down under is the one I remember her in the most
Most recently saw her in the show Barry!
She has ENORMOUS breasts, too.
I understood this reference.
The only thing i remember about that show was the bit where people find out David spade's character has a huge dick.
In a few more years those are gonna hang so low you’ll have knipples.
SAHM - saggy as hell mammaries
10 more years and those things are gonna be out of frame.
27 year old with a high ego, the old saying what goes up must come down and if your only 27 I'd be prepared to tuck them into your jeans before too long.
Face says 27, tits say 72.
Did you do your hair on a unicycle?
You 35 right?
One tit pointing to Miami the other one to Seattle
🎶 The telephone rings, it's one of your tits in Miami 🎶
I only clicked to see if you had nudes
Internet doing you favours today buddy. No one needs to see that
This comment cracked me up for 2 reasons:
1) It was curt and succinct.
2) I did the same thing.
Worth a silver anyday in my book
Ah I see you’re a man of culture as well. Thank you sir
Nipple —— navel —— nipple
Interesting uhhh... home life you have. Fiancé stealing your kid apparently and you turn to Reddit wearing nothing to the imagination so we can all point out that pregnancy did nothing for your tits situation.
His lawyer is going to love this
You need a sign on your breast bone that says "Next tit one mile." You could fit the great state of Texas between your hound dog ears.
Just make the fucking OnlyFans already. We all know this is a dry test run for interest.
Trust me, it's the only interesting thing about you.
Chest so long I bet a belly ring would get mistaken for a nipple piercing.
Looks like the Tuesday, day shift at the local nuddie bar has arrived.
Get out your nickels boys!
You're not a SAHM if you send your kids to daycare.
Don't worry, you'll be dragging nipples by 35.
If you’re banking on making it through life by having those on display you’re in for as much disappointment as the person watching you take your top off.
National Geographic called...they want their tits back
Looks like your ex-husbands friends already roast you pretty regularly.
[Nissan Infiniti titties](https://imgur.com/a/yuraQDe)
SAHM = Swinging And Hanging Mammaries
I bet you used to be pretty.
not in this lifetime
Is your husband trying to auction you off because he can't stand your shit?
She said SAHM, not SAHW. She has single mom written all over those udders.
I think she mistook this app for onlyfans
Fried eggs nailed to a wall
The only thing that's going to distance themselves more from you than your tits is your kids
Ego and Confidence? Is that what you call them?
I assume you don't jog. For multiple reasons.
"Recently single mom"
Putting it simple;
"Only Fans launching soon. Sub only for 5$"
Finally a women that knows her value, no onlyfans or fansly crao in bio or post because she understands no one would pay to see her naked not to mention it looks like instead of the red sea moses parted her tits
Damn, Marie from breaking bad got some implants and is hitting up the dating scene hard after hank died. But we all know you still do this after the one night stand ends
Y’all are so predictable reddit. Tits and foreheads, or gay.
Sweetie, It’s a shame because I bet you were a knockout in your 20s, 27 my ass. You look like cashier #2 down at the local grocery store. You read romance novels and have absolutely zero personality. Stretch marks galore and big feet for a short chick. How many cats are you up to? Can’t you find time to do your nails? It takes more than saggy tits to catch a man, especially with your level of baggage.
This is what I wanted to see 😂 we need to have some standards here
What were you breastfeeding? 20 lb dumbbells?
You look like your mother drank while she was pregnant with you
Kinda looks like Ben Shapiro
Mmm. I wish I had two more hands....so I could give those saggy grocery bags full of soup for tits 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙪𝙢𝙗𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙬𝙣 👎👎👎👎
The milk's gone bad!
You are a stay at home mom but you have issues paying for childcare and are on assistance for it? Watch your own kids!
Your tits look like they’re trying to escape each other.
You have the breasts of a much more attractive woman.
Everything’s high compared to your tits.
I probably could make fun of your tits also, but I refuse to go for the low hanging fruit
If I look up I see a woman selling herbalife and marry Kay. And if I look down I see that there are buyers.
27 year old SAHM, more like you're 27 and your life is a SHAM
Ya look like you sell Arbonne and onlyfans content while calling yourself a boss babe.