T O P
roastbot

OP's Bio: --- >I'm the guy who hates exercise but still gets a B --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.


SumnerGoodpeople

Only 20 more years until you lose your virginity!


MONSTERBLASK

he will never


[deleted]

He will..but on the Down Low


Queasy-Biscotti-6663

Only because the 73 year old half blind and completely wrinkled old man is too ashamed to admit that he gave this dude his dick


Elpolloloco57940

Unlikely but not impossible if he's sentenced to jail!


Longjumping-War-1307

Dude his dog isn't gonna live that long


PandAmazing9000

And 19 more years til he dies


fartyhardy

The more you swipe the more criminal it gets.


turdmachine

This is the guy you want on the jury as a defence lawyer in a child sex crime case


VictorianShortShorts

My eyes kept hoping for a relief that never came 😭


Lord-Doobury

Nice photo collection of Boring.


GeorgeLikesSpicyCkn

You love hearing women moan “ohh baby” during sex, too bad you’re not hearing it yourself but instead from the neighbor’s house 3 blocks away


extreme_snothells

I picture him hearing this while pressing his ear against his parent’s bedroom door.


isthisnamechangeable

I doubt that he's able too with those protruding ears


JKlacks

Do you have any pics where you aren't doing Norman Bates cosplay?


Lordginge2002

I'd starve to death trying to get from one of your ears to the other


[deleted]

McLovin is on Reddit now.


Longjumping-War-1307

He don't need that fake ID. They recognize him everywhere he goes


Darksoulpk68

Those are very nice mugshots


icameFromLUCA

With those ears, every time you nod your head saying no theres a tornado warning.


OurWeaponsAreUseless

​ ![gif](giphy|cnR63KrmfPhWtbLYXb)


kasque

You look like you just got ass probed.


RantControl

He wishes.


AndyBrown65

Only time someone will swipe for you


BanoDeLaRojo

This is a really bad dumbo cosplay....


silverharpDublin

I hope you didnt spend all your prostitution fund on education or you aint ever getting laid


halfasleepallthetime

I didn't know Mr Bean had a kid


w0wagain

Do you dominate on the girls swim team?


Disastrous_Credit_67

You're half way to being the next 40 Year Old Virgin


Feeling_Advantage412

You’re top of casting if they ever make a Revenge of the Nerds remake


Edgelordberg95

Breaking: Several special needs students found shot in bathroom and around park


psychotaenzer

The first through sixth picture are pre offense (molestation failed due to being beaten up by the preschoolers). The last two are either Photoshop or after becoming Big Joe's prison bitch.


1ofThoseTrolls

I feel like your neighbors will be telling reporters about how you were just a quiet young man one day.


stevedisme

Man, those ears.....you kinda look like a car with doors left open.


Fuckinbrusselsprout

Why does he look like every pizza delivery guy ever???


[deleted]

Dude's so soft gotta hold that phone with both hands.


FrankieBigNut

He can hear women say they think he’s gross up to 29 miles away


GoEataDick789

Everything about you is roasting material. One pic is enough.


shadewinter

Live-Action Frank Grimes from the Simpsons, or Grimey, as his friend Homer likes to call him ![gif](giphy|xT5LMzu1OXqRDDFdpS)


RantControl

Deserves more upvotes.


ChernoSamba88

Just like every single girl on Tinder; there’s absolutely no way I’m swiping right on you. I’ve seen all I need to see thank you.


iamrotunded

Be thankful ears never stop growing. I know your future truck stop partners will appreciate the larger handholds


minor25

How you manage to have every single face feature unsemetrical, truly a winner of a shitty looks bingo


stupidsimpson

Peter Woodcock wannabe. Google it.


No-Rub7247

Dumbo


ChimeraRouge

You have the same look as Jeffery Dahmer. He achieved worldwide fame.


SWWhippingboy

Or Josh Duggar...


rbgs68740

From the looks of those pictures either your transition is going really or you need to get your money back.


slaintemotherfockers

Cerebral Palsy really is a bitch


-Procrastabating-

If Matthew Haag and Michael Grzesiek had a wide-mouthed child who murdered woodland animals in their backyard like Jeffrey Dahmer.


Alphasmikefoxtrot

You get my vote for most likely to get “full metal jacketed” the first week of basic training


beaver6783

Already in the shower waiting to pick up the soap


rightwingmah

I think you are the guy who works ion the hardware store


[deleted]

you look like the inbred child of greg and rowley


Sweaty_Assignment_90

Ready for the lacrosse team and your golden showers I see.


thatrobbyguy

The poster child for gun control.


Lord-Doobury

Special Needs version of Bill Hader playing the role of a Special Needs version of, Bill Hader.


billybob100000

Young Jared from subway


invalidsyn

*looks like MrRobot's gay doppelgänger.*


Cishuman

Sadly, can't roast dry toast.


Relative_Formal3935

Youd still be a virgin after fuckin for the first time.


panda_enjoi

If a bland pasta meal had a face


Extreme-Ad8921

I seen this same pictures under another name. How often are you banned from Reddit man?


unclejarjarbinks

NOW THAT'S A MUG YOU *DON'T* WANT TO CHUG


Normal-Disaster7338

This mother fucker looks like he can hear colors


Elpolloloco57940

Your shower head is more interesting than you


bigbodyboy90

![gif](giphy|6IPNUgkpCsDRK) For everyone who had to see these pics, you’re welcome!


bigbodyboy90

![gif](giphy|zeqgtki9ifa7u)


Farkenoathm8-E

I like your Elliot Roger cosplay. Is that what you’re going as for Incelcom 2022?


DongVonJovi

If Dungeons and Dragons was a gender identity.


ebliss1

A great gallery of pics for the “Miss Prison Bitch 2022” calendar to pick from


RantControl

Wow! I've never seen an autistic chimp before.


IusVindictus

This is what shows up when you type "bad genes"


Jtaco88

One pic is enough, we don’t need more proof you’re ugly.


[deleted]

Do us a favor. Delete your Reddit account.


Remote_Profit_3399

![gif](giphy|KEYYvQ5327D3fC3O66|downsized)


Remote_Profit_3399

![gif](giphy|UyrXBH8XcEiTS9nzXV|downsized)


Remote_Profit_3399

![gif](giphy|l3vR1GbdoXcY72wla)


Remote_Profit_3399

![gif](giphy|Ssltx68WIeX1wA0Mg8|downsized)


Dr_DMT

Your parents gave birth to Mr. Potatohead. ![gif](giphy|Y4rCZTLKFFxmqSuYj2|downsized)


olbaidiablo

I liked the first pic best, I get to see less of your face. Could you take another one with a second phone covering up the rest or, better yet, just use a large tablet.


cozzie333

I've seen people mature with facial hair or growing complexion but not a head that keeps changing shape.


RantControl

McLosin' ![gif](giphy|Fh9jhYLDLo87u)


Personthing23

god you got some satellite dishes huh


Ok-Code8434

I'm not going ANYWHERE near you if you put on a trench coat


[deleted]

Oh my God it's bd Cooper's grandson


Y_56

Careful. Those ears could poke someone's eye out.


junior1077

Wish.com McLovin


Sidarthatoad

Your what I see before you wear my skin


johntheplumb3r

Definitely will be on evening news


Streydog77

You are taking selfies fully clothed in a shower, explains a lot.


SumnerGoodpeople

Your photos show seem to show the exact moment you learned to masturbate.


Ok_Inspector_9429

Can you hear my roast before I even make it?


Ok-Code8434

You once walked in on your dad fucking the pool boy


Ok-Code8434

You look like you have received an actual wedgie


warthhogbrrt

Equilateral Jr.


epic-yolo-swag

When the teacher said “Put your listening ears on!” You never took them off


mxlo8

We found nick eh 10


Tall_Asparagus_1445

You look like you rage at chess games and play dnd


Zealousideal_Cut_168

Didn't really need an entire PowerPoint of Mandumbo and his amazing ears.


No-Emotion-3003

Might as well start learning how to do makeup and wigs. You a trans. Ain’t no doubt about it.


pasenast

I'll whisper my roast to be considerate.


VerumJerum

I would, but I'm pretty sure you would be able to hear the sound of my keyboard and come strangle me.


victim80

I wouldn't hire you to tap-dance in a mine field.


wheresthezapstick

How tf do you take a picture, and in almost every photo, your phone is the main focus/star of the photo. Incredible


TwilekVampire

I see a lot of potential in you. Didn't think it was possible, but in your eyes I see a future mass collector of ch1ld P0rnography. See you on the S.O. list!


guest_not_guest

If axe body spray was a person


I_Follow_Rude_People

if those ears were any larger you could be called dumbo


bcedit101

In high school we all knew that one kid, that one kid no one liked because he was a smart ass, we called him the “well actually” kid because that’s how he started every sentence. You are that kid…


MarcoPolio-

You’re so weak you need two hands to hold your phone.


Busan2LA

According to my calculations face ass


ZipBates

If a girl casually said hi to you, your response would be to tell her the atomic mass of cadmium


packrat84

So ugly even he can't bare to take a picture of himself.


Jman5390

Great portfolio bud


MI_LORT

Man can hear China


Fun-Cartoonist-438

Looks like you are that of a introvert that you cant ask someone to click your picture and taking the wierd mirror selfie


MarshallArtsMaster

[This you?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/the-uncanny-incredible/images/d/db/Default_phase_4_image..jpg/revision/latest?cb=20220215164839)


Fine-Influence-22

Fora gay bottom you could take better care of yourself


AndersKingern

Is your middle name Uvalde?