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Chazzyphant

My husband and I have an unusual set up, but: He lives off investments and has no income. I have a full time job. We keep our own accounts, do not comingle. He pays rent out of his account, I Venmo him my half. We have agreed on which bills each of us will handle, it's roughly equal. I pay for streaming services, he pays electric since he has an electric car and uses much more than I, I pay the renter's insurance, he pays for internet. And so on. We consider our money shared in theory and practice--we don't keep track of debts or who owes what unless it's a really large amount, like he floated rent or I paid for an entire trip and he pays me his half later or something. Now...having said that...we've gone through it to get here. My husband is am amazing generous person and has given me significant money over time but I also floated him during a time when he was a full time student and didn't want to spend his savings/investment money. We consult each other in a very general sense if the purchase is large, like...he bought a Tesla large but I will never "forbid" him to buy something, just give him things to think about if it's a big purchase. We're aligned in a general sense on our goals and outlook but I'm a spender and he's a saver so we've had our clashes and struggles and had to find compromises.


Ok_Illustrator_7320

This. Chazzyphant has advised well before. I’m learning it’s important that not only should both partners be aligned but don’t be afraid to have different priorities.


5krunner

Married 24 years and we both work and have joint accounts. I pay all the bills and manage all the finances. She has complete access to all accounts and full visibility into everything (logins and passwords.) That said, she doesn’t ever login to any accounts or question my handling of the finances. Works for us.


Bea3ce

We each have personal bank and savings accounts. We also have a joint bank account where we put a set amount, and we pay everything from there. That's not fixed: we change it according to what happens in our life and at our jobs. For instance, I didn't put anything in when I was home for pregnancy/maternity, I didn't have to dip into my savings. It was understood that was something we were doing *together* and my physical contribution was more than enough. In general, we would put in proportionally to our incomes: sometimes I earned more, sometimes he did. I do belive that if in a couple one earns more, one should pay more. We each have life insurance, our house is paid for and co-owned, and we live in a country where healthcare and education are free, so there really isn't ground for a joined savings account anymore, but I think that's a good idea too.


KettleKorn1097

This is my setup.


Spotassium

My wife and I have joint accounts which we use to manage all of our income and our expenses. We also use a budgeting program (YNAB) which is an amazing tool for money management. At the start of every year we sit down and have a planned meeting where we talk about our financial goals for the year. We discuss our entire budget, line by line to make sure we have shared expectations for our money. Once a month, usually around the end of the month we meet again and reconcile our actual spending with our budget goals. If we’ve done well, then our budget will line up. If we over spent, we deduct that much from our budget for the next month to make sure we stay on track. It sounds a little clinical, but it has made personal finance a stress-free part of our marriage. We have open communication and regular check ins for accountability.


phonafriend

When we got married, I gave my wife total control of the finances to plan the wedding. That was 22 years ago, and I never took it back. All our salaries go into a joint account, from which we pay everything (food, utilities, etc.).


Randygilesforpres

We have a joint account and each has a private account that gets fun money deposited in. We did this because my husband has very expensive hobbies and this way he could manage his fun money how he likes without having to ask me for every little thing. That being said, we’ve been married 20 years now and often if he asks, I just have him take it out of the main. We are far enough ahead with savings that it doesn’t hurt us if a mistake is made. The fun money now is mostly for presents and surprises lol! Not everyone is able to live below their means, though, and if one partner has an issue with overspending, having the fun money accounts can really help. No matter the size. Just, agree together, on the amounts after doing a realistic budget.


fish_in_the_ocean

Married for 5 years, got joint account before we even moved in together to pay for going outs, holidays, holiday equipment (hiking&camping). We both have decent jobs, have x amount we send to shared account, X amount that goes to savings and rest stays in separate accounts. If joint account is running low, we send more. We sometimes use personal account to pay for something that could have been paid with joint account so we are not that strict on that. We have framework but no strict rules when it comes to usage of joint account. Mortgage, daycare, bills, tickets to places, kids expenses, going out are paid from there. The savings account strictly speaking is on my name /I earn more and certain amount gets deducted directly there /but is it is only because my employer gives good interest rate /as bonus/ so we make more money keeping it there rather on both names somewhere else. We do treat this money as joint account. We have x amount that is our bumper and we don't want to spend it for big projects /car or house renovations/, the rest is Flexible but we are usually not touching savings account.


CATS_R_WEIRD

Husband and I have separate bank accounts: together 11 years, lived together 9, married 7. We use a joint credit card to pay for everything. He then pays the bills out of his account and I pay him half each month. Some bigger ticket items we pay separately and don't split (my fancy new mountain bike and the like). He's just on the computer more and has a decent system to pay it all and it's easier for us both this way. We both have access to all accounts (logins etc) and discuss them as needed but really our private checking and savings accounts are private for the most part. We use Dashlane to share logins and message security codes to each other when accessing if needed. Money market account for combined savings (house improvements and emergency fund). We created a trust that we are joint trustees for. Everything we own is in it so we're both joint owners. Clean and simple.


noinch

We both work full time. He pays half of all bills and rent into my account weekly and I have all the bills set up to come out of my account. We alternate food shops. But this varies as he eats at work so I usually get more but he's very good. X


Forsaken_Thought

My wife and I pay a percentage of the bills based on how much we make. It's about a 60/40 split. Each of us has our own checking account. We move bill money into a shared checking account, then bills come out of the shared checking account. We use Aspire (check out r/AspireBudgeting) which is like YNAB but free.


KatFiveE

We used to be totally joint with everything combined, but since I was managing our money, DH was getting irritated that he couldn't surprise me with gifts and I'm more fiscally conservative so I'd get bent out of shape on what I deemed 'indulgent purchases', which wasn't helping us. As a result, we have separate accounts and a joint account, to which we contribute a % to cover joint expenses. Everything else is in our own respective accounts for us to manage independently. The joint account contribution intention is to contribute a % of total expenses based on income ratios. I'm the higher earner, so would be contributing more, but given that I do a larger share of household, we are 50/50 for now.


Ok_Button_1269

We have a joint account and I take care of the finances. This has caused issues in the sense that my husband does not quite get the cost of things and doesn't understand his role in overspending etc. We've hadn't really had any problems until covid started. I also recently left my job to build my own practice and this takes time so now we are hurting. This is where the above issues come into play. I now have to put together a budget and really hope that it helps him to understand our finances a bit


Ok_Illustrator_7320

This may not be helpful as I recently posted for help as well. I manage all the finances. I earn it. I pay everything. AT THE TIME I felt it was my contribution to our relationship. My advice is only to share the responsibility for what is spent as a couple. Do not operate in a bubble.


southernruby

Separate.. he makes more than 3 times my salary.. I buy the groceries, which ain’t cheap, pay for our streaming services, pay for most meals out and he pays the rest of the house bills. He’s generous and will help me out here and there but I absolutely never ask. I’ve helped him out too.. I buy most the house decor.. I love it being separate, but at the end of the day, we both contribute our fair share with our arrangement.. 3 years together, not one single fight about money!


DrSeule

Joint account for shared bills and joint emergency fund, separate accounts for the rest of our money. We contribute to the joint according to our income percent (which is almost 50-50). I typically manage the household money but he has access to the shared account info and I keep him periodically updated.


peejoh

Everything goes in a single pot and everything comes out of that pot. Small purchases that one person makes are rarely discussed, medium purchases are often discussed, and large purchases are always a joint decision. We have similar incomes which probably helps with the single pot approach. It’s not perfect as we have different spending styles but I’m not sure if we’d personally be able to make it work any other way. We’re both “all in” with our time and energy, and the money we make is just an extension of that. She had kids when we married so I’m “only” their step father, but begrudging them purchases because they’re “her responsibility” is not something I could do. We were each a package deal when we took our vows (and honestly that was true well before that point) so we inherited each other’s responsibilities as well as each other’s income and effort.


GavUK

My girlfriend and I have a joint account. All household bills and normal spending that is justified as "for the household/both of us" come out of it. We pay the same fixed amount (i.e. 50-50) into it automatically just before or at the beginning of the month, which we'd calculated was sufficient and creates a small reserve, but review as necessary (here in the UK rising energy bills have required us to increase this amount 3 times this year). Small additional household expenses are paid out of this account. Larger expenses we share the cost 50-50 from our own accounts (either sending to the other's accounts or via the joint account). Pre-Covid we paid for our own car expenses out of our own accounts, but I took my car off the road and we shared the use of my girlfriend's car, so agreed this would become a household expense, rather than just hers. Obviously the 50-50 sharing of costs only works if you are earning roughly the same. Where there is a large disparity in earnings, or one partner is staying home (e.g. to bring up kids or unable to work for whatever reason) then our way would not work. Also we don't have kids - there's a lot more expenses involved and in that case it may make more sense to put all your pay into a joint account and just have a personal monthly allowance for something that isn't a household expense. Lastly, without knowing the nature of the struggle you and your partner are having, it is hard to know if this or other ways of doing it would work - our way requires both partners to trust that the other will not spend household money on non-household items without agreement first, while handing financial controls to one partner requires that the other trust that they will not misuse the money. Edit: We both have separate cards and logins to the joint account, so don't need to share a login.


Danibandit

I have my own bank account and my partner has their own. I have him added onto one of my credit cards as a user (he didn’t have much credit at the time). I am on his bank account(but I don’t have a card or checks) just access so I can transfer into his account and pay bills. We for the most part though, manage our own money separately. I got lucky, as did he, that we are both sound on being financially responsible and also savers. Edit- we also pay equally when it comes to bills and expenses. 50/50


hoddypeakpish

Partner and I both keep our own accounts. We earn equivalent salaries so we split shared expenses down the middle; mortgage, food, home stuff, utilities etc. We have a shared credit card that everything goes on for the month and is paid off in full when he sends his half to me at the end of the month. I manage the spreadsheets and paying all the bills. We’ve lived together for a year now and it’s worked really well.


This_Guy_Lurks

Our paychecks direct deposit into a joint account. We have an agreed upon allowance that we transfer into our personal accounts to do with what we wish. We don’t take into account % earned, we’re married, It’s all our money. All purchases are made with a cash back credit card and paid off monthly. She’s an accountant and does the finances using a custom excel sheet.


hammong

I have my account, she has her account, and we have "our" account. All income goes into the joint account, and bills/expenses get paid out of that. We pay ourselves a bit of the excess and that's ours to do what we want with. My ex-wife ran the books for 10+ years, she paid the bills, credit cards, vehicle payments, mortgage, but I had access to the checking account online and could (and did) keep track of expenses from time to time just to make sure things were paid and current. Before that, I ran the bills, and she was always in-the-dark with regard to why we couldn't get this or that (due to cost/budget constraints) and I found it better for the relationship to let her have the control so she had full visibility.


SunChamberNoRules

We have three bank accounts - a personal one each into which our salaries flow into, and a joint one. The joint one has automatic transfers incoming from each of our accounts and is used for mutual expenses (going out, travel, groceries, bills, etc). We analyzed our joint expenses beforehand and ensure that enough flows in to cover all of the above expenses + builds up some savings. If it needed a top up for whatever reason, we would both just transfer in the same amount of funds. What remains in our personal accounts, we do with as we see fit (we both have individual savings accounts as well under our personal accounts). For reference, we each earn about the same amount - however when I was earning more, my partner contributed proportionally less.


Specialist_Word4115

THANK YOU EVERYONE 🫶 We are getting a joint account, I’ll handle the finances going forward. Salaries paid into one account, monthly bills sorted then will each take a maintenance allowance and then save and invest the rest. Appreciate everyone’s advice!