By - sunglasses90
My fiancé and I are 9 years apart. Men in my age group didn’t have their finances together. I make more than most men my age and have more savings/networth. I wanted someone on the same page as me and I couldn’t find anyone my age that was.
Other than that, someone ready to get married and have children. Another thing is what I call worldliness. I don’t want to be the smartest/ most life-experienced person responsible for making all the decisions and explaining why to my partner. I wanted someone smarter and more experienced than myself who I could rely on to be a true partner and leader. I can lead, but I’d rather not lead all the time.
When I was 25 I dated a 35 year old. I really enjoyed having a partner with more life experience then me. He wasn't stressed about all the less important things in life that previous partners (2 years older then me) had been. He was also an amazing Dad for his daughter and maintained a mature civil relationship with his daughters mother for the sole benefit of the daughter and it was great seeing this parent love for this child. But things ended terribly for me, and my lack of life experience (particularly the skill to understand other peoples motives/traits/emotional walls when they are different to my own) lead me to get hurt.
But I wouldn't necessary say age is a direct indication of life experience and people can go down different life experience journeys and end up in different places. My next romantic interest taught me that.
Took me 2.5 years to heal from this. Eventually I found interest in another guy 10 years older then me (so 27f & 37m now). Really kind guy who enjoyed doing things for other people expecting no reward. Kind of guy your grandmother would try setting you up with and most people who knew him didn't understand why he was single.
This relationship (we weren't intimate or dating, we did work together so saw 40 hours of each other a week) ended up being very emotionally abusive. He didn't mean to but it wasn't something he could magically stop doing. I ended up finding out about how childhood trauma can serverly affect a person's adult relationships. And I learnt my own people pleasing codepenantcy isn't healthy either.
Honestly I'm starting to think if a guy is mid 30s or older and not in a happy committed there may likely be a good solid reason for it. And they require MORE vetting to ensure their life experiences are compatible to your own. I'm sure there's a number who are fine and could guide a younger (mid 20s or younger) women on her own journey. But without the life experience it's hard for a younger women to vet the damaged ones from the good ones. I do think RPW ways will slightly help to do this compared to what's currently normal in Western society.
I'm a millennial (30s) and have always preferred gen x men (40s). They have a much more resilient and masculine approach to life, are less neurotic, and haven't grown up on porn lol.
I'm too young to date a gen x man but I know what you mean about all of those qualities. So desirable. I managed to find a millennial man who is more like Gen x in those ways.
im 31 and my husband is 46. I met him when I was 26 and we got together almost immediately. My previous partners were all about 3-6 years older than me and this 15 years age gap is the largest i ever had.
He is successful, kind, wise and very charming. 5 years and 3 kids later, we are still very much in love and happy. :)
As a 23-year-old woman who would like to get married in the next few years and ideally have my first child before 30, I cannot date men my own age.
Most men in my city don’t seriously consider marriage and kids until their early-to-mid 30s (mayyyybe late 20s in some circles).
My BF is 30 and the relationship is going great. We share similar values and both would like to get married, buy a house and start a family within the next 5 years.
I simply don’t know any 23-year-old men who would be up for this timeline. Most are very early in their careers or still studying at university, still partying hard and hitting up the clubs/bars every weekend, and still travelling the world and “sowing their wild oats”. They aren’t ready to give me the type of commitment I need, and that’s okay! As men they don’t have the same pressures of a biological clock as we do and thus they can afford to take their time and settle down later.
I’m in my 30s and was married to a man 3 years younger. He was very immature, feminin and emotionally all over the place. I’m now dating a man in his 40s (8 years older than me) and he is so much more masculine, grounded, strong, knows himself, in control of himself, knows what he wants, thoughtful, wise. It’s amazing!!
26f, 46m. Personally, I’ve been a more dominant person with past relationships but now I’m dating an older man and he’s so masculine and dominant he makes me really want to embrace my feminine/submissive side and it feels amazing! He knows how to treat a woman and has learned a lot from his past relationships. He really appreciates who I am and the fact that I can communicate my feelings, which no man has ever been able to handle due to their immaturity. His main goal is to have a family and take care of his woman. He’s established with his career, and confident in himself and what he wants/needs. Plus with how advanced he is in his career, he can be at home with the kids and spend a lot more time with me than someone my age. :) Never met a man like him before, especially not in my age range.
I've been married over a decade and we are the same age. However, the older man thing felt like the guys mid life crisis. I suppose *how* much older would make a difference. Also if they have tendencies to exclusively go after younger. (Or much younger). Not all but some do so because women their age won't tolerate the shenanigans the younger gals will.
I’m 23 and canNOT do guys my own age. They’re so emotionally stunted. My husband will be 30 in a few months. We’re both looking forward to settling down and building a life together with babies. We can bounce off ideas and have intellectual conversations
Age doesn't matter. It takes men longer to become successful. That's it. You can roll the dice on a 20yr old or wait at the finish line for a 35yr old. One is already a winner and the other is just starting the race. Winners have more options so be ready to compete harder for them.
No drama, doesn't entertain women who flirt with him, doesn't use social media very much, has his priorities straight, knows how to communicate what he needs and wants, has a lot of patience, is more knowledgeable, responsible, knows how to take care of me, stands up for himself, doesn't take bs from anyone, solid in his career, good understanding of boundaries, etc. It's not impossible to find all of those qualities in a younger guy but it is harder.
I'm in my early twenties and he's in his mid thirties, for reference.
This doesn't really answer the question and RPW rarely if ever wants to know about random men's sex lives.
The Associated Press article above speaks to men in today's society being afraid to speak for fear of being assigned the "creepy" factor. Your correction of my post piles on to Kaleido's comment and assigns to me the "creepy" factor. Dig select below doesn't see it, as well as the up votes on my response to Kaleido, but you do.
The question raised in the post is personal experience on difference in age relationships. Obvious to at least some on RPW is that my wife not being able to find quality in her peer group on [Match.com](https://Match.com) and lying about her too young age to get on "Our Time" and finding a quality older guy is *precisely* what the post was about. I made another comment about the same time in a different post and Kaleido attacked me there as well and gave me the "didn't answer the question" accusation also. So far my original comment and my comment on her first "get lost you *man*" salvo have 19 upvotes. Her "get lost" first comment has 4 downvotes. So the regular Red Pill Women that actually appreciate some seasoned balanced male input took hold first.
As to your remark "random men's sex lives", the information on sex was 1) not salacious in any way, 2) is a small part of the total post, not like I'm trying to crow about myself, and 3) centered on what *she* thinks, not me. Whereas, Kaleido's attack on me, "70 year old bisexual man who's racked to the teeth on testosterone supplements and lied to his partner about his age." It drips with an ad hominem, ill-informed, lib-feminist toxic masculinity, evil Testosterone BS without knowing me. Yet you see nothing wrong with her attack and reprimand me.
Okay, I get it. My input not wanted. I have "unjoined" RPW. Have fun as this sub joins the ranks of the other libbed-out reddit forums, even though "in name" this one isn't.
I respond to reported comments. The reason I told you that it was off putting to some members is because it was reported so yeah. Upon reading it, I did not see any actual advice or experience that was specific to an age gap relationship. It came across as though you simply wanted to talk about yourself and your wife.
I told you why I was removing the comment as a "hey, this is a problem don't do it again". But this whole woe-is-me response makes me agree with you unsubbing.
For anyone else reading: this is why we don't often bother telling people how they broke the rules. No one wants to listen and fix themselves. They simply want to complain that the rules are unfair or we aren't RP or whatever helps them avoid responsibility.
That's weird Pearls. Nothing shows in how I see reddit on my computer that you removed anything. So I don't see how that would have been communicated as:
"I told you why I was removing the comment as a "hey, this is a problem don't do it again".
"Upon reading it, I did not see any actual advice or experience that was specific to an age gap relationship. It came across as though you simply wanted to talk about yourself and your wife." OMG Pearls, I didn't think the advice could come across any plainer. I even tagged it. "Moral of the story? Find quality where you can. And if you're lucky enough to do so, grab on while you've got the chance. :)) Best wishes to you." If you can read this and not see any relation to the original post's age gap relationship question then yes, we come from different planets.
And no, not "woe-is-me." Thank you for confirming I don't need to waste any more time here.
In the year or better I've been occasionally commenting in RPW, the mods have been kind and appreciative of my attitude and experience. You feel the need to downvote my posts and inform me I don't belong here cuz you know what the posters need and I'm a man. I took a look at some of your other comments in Purple Pill Debate. It's obviously not worth engaging your very set opinions. Whatever. I don't come here to pick fights.
Your account is full of gay porn and you're here telling unsolicited stories of your sex life. Not helpful. A 70 year old bisexual man who's racked to the teeth on testosterone supplements and lied to his partner about his age is not exactly what this post was looking for.
Thank you for reminding me why being on reddit for anything is so easily an exercise in futility. "Racked to the teeth on Testosterone supplements" huh? You know nothing of substance of my health regimen. And I lied about my age for about 90 min on our first date. Whereas you've already lied about my age on purpose for effect. And bisexual? She knows who I am. And regardless of gender I have been 100% exclusively hers for the 2 and 1/2 years I've known her. You take the love of my life and reduce my relationship to some fucking dirty old man. You are a perfect example of why exposing one's heart and intellect on a forum such as this is a foolhardy exercise and not worth the effort. I'll keep you in prayers tonight. That God doesn't allow your hateful spirit to be inflicted in person on any members of my gender.
the question was: "women, what is your experience in dating older men".
not: "men, tell me all about your life story and sex life".
not every thread and subreddit is for men. keeping a women's discussion between women is not hateful.
Not sure why you got downvoted but thanks for sharing your story.
Appreciate it DigSelect.