T O P

I the tall skinny white guy

I the tall skinny white guy

Olopius

I got 2 Asian looking to trade for a tall White or crazy hair.


ProBonoDevilAdvocate

/r/nocontext


The1andonlygogoman64

Well Ive got 3 tall whites and got an asian. Are any of them chubby? ~~normal sentence I Promise~~


coranos2

“Pandemic lazy crazy hair” or “doc from back to the future” crazy hair?


EitherJelly4138

Yes


Your-username-must-b

Dead or alive?


ColdCalculus

Yes


VIPBotsMark

Tall white willing to join. 190cm, stereotypical programmer look


Your-username-must-b

Skinny or fat?


VIPBotsMark

So skinny I almost look like I'm anorexic


Your-username-must-b

Hmmmm… Are you willing to trade yourself for an Asian?


Twat_The_Douche

Nobody wants your crazy hair


ekajrepus

I'm the guy with crazy facial hair, and I have a tall skinny white coworker and a fat coworker with a pony tail. Our PM is from India. Edit: To be fair, our pony tail has worked hard and lost a lot of weight in lockdown. Might be time to trade guys soon.


Kiljab

So seems like he's taking in your place. Fat -> skinny Pony tail -> crazy hair


cakeKudasai

It says facial hair. So Ponytail dude has to tie the ponytail on the front if he wants to take his place.


EitherJelly4138

Ugh this is why I hate office politics.


lookwhatmeli0cando

Hello, I would be interested in applying for your position of fat guy with ponytail. I have many years experience being overweight. Have no ponytail but am a quick learner, all hairstyles are pretty much interchangeable anyway.


ekajrepus

I'm sorry, we require at least 10 years of ponytail experience, but wish you luck in your future endeavors.


lookwhatmeli0cando

T F W ponytails had only existed for five years


farva_litter_cola

PM doesn’t count!


dahibhat

What are you talking about..PMs count a lot of things. Story points, ETA for release, number of sprints etc


ekajrepus

well- we do invite him when we go out to lunch, so he's kinda' like part of the group that we travel with.


dewey-defeats-truman

I am three of those guys


dansla116

This is a fun discrete math problem. 1) You can't be any combination of the tall skinny **white** guy and the short skinny **Asian** guy and the **East Indian** guy together. 2) You can't be a combination of the **fat** guy with a ponytail and either (the tall **skinny** white guy or the short **skinny** Asian guy). 3) Crazy facial hair can go with anything. Are you a fat East Indian guy with crazy facial hair and a ponytail?


PicoPlanetDev

r/theydidthemath


piperboy98

I mean, technically East Indian is a subset of Asian. So as long as you are short and skinny you can be the East Indian and the short skinny Asian. Possibly with crazy facial hair.


mangeld3

Can this be solved with Prolog?


i14n

Yes.


AndrewIsMyDog

Where's the lone woman?


CautionIsNecessary

👋 as a woman, I fall into the diversity hire wildcard slot. This slot may appear when the hiring company has an attribute of enterprise or diversity first. This slot is often often interchanged so that most of the women form their own group as they often throw off the delicate ecosystem. The woman who does not upset this balance is known as a unicorn.


Anunay03

unicorns are not real tho.


ShakezulaDaMicRulah

I've found a person who nonsarcastically enjoys coding in both javascript and php in this sub, so you may want to rethink that statement


ShakezulaDaMicRulah

Fellow slot holder here (black guy) gather the group and I'll grab mine and lets make our own coding crew! Oh wait, is that a Java flair? Ugh, nevermind. Best we all stay as nomads. I'm sorry for your predicament.


AndrewIsMyDog

I've been using ada and c++, HA HA HA.


ShakezulaDaMicRulah

Dont know much about ada, i was told it's mostly for misson critical stuff like fighter jets etc


coranos2

Three of those could be women. Maybe four if the neck beard is really a shadow.


Adadum

manager tips: treat devs like NFL players.


sachin1118

“We’ll trade you 3 candidates and a junior dev for your senior dev and an intern”


ShakezulaDaMicRulah

So if you ever get a broken back they just shoot you up with horse drugs and prop you up in front of an IDE I'm pretty sure my project manager would already do that


Dumfk

Fat guy with a ponytail here.


AlternativeBasis

White or not? By the way, programmer, white, fat and with a ponytail. And sometimes (Home Office), crazy facial hair too.


4chinner24

I am short and white, looks like I can't be a programmer


Sekret_One

> The Bubble Sorting Hat grumbled "this one, this one goes to . . . OPERATIONS!"


PabloSexcrowbar

Holy shit. I'm short I'm white I'm a sysadmin The system works!


CoffeePieAndHobbits

Congrats. Have a pager!


ScF0400

Not HR... Not HR...


DeltaPositionReady

Not HR you say.. Hmmmm you'd be great in HR, not HR very well then, it will have to be. QUALITY ASSURANCE


HeroErix2

You just need to grow crazy facial hair. But you can't join my group because I am already taking that spot.


orangebakery

What if he gets fat and grows a ponytail?


contemplateVoided

Compromise accepted.


MenacingManatee

You can be short and white as long as you're fat and have a pony tail or have crazy facial hair


4chinner24

One day my friend... One day.


Swolebrah

Get fat


0100_0101

Sorry


rumbleblowing

u/repostsleuthbot


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rumbleblowing

21 times, oof Even the same title!


PascalsBadger

Typo and all


DiPi92

Tall, skinny, ponytail. People guess my profession correctly 90% of the time


cakeKudasai

What do they guess the other 10% of the time?


coranos2

Cereal killer.


DiPi92

The best one I got was "Argentinian drug dealer" 😃


Spambot0

So ... cutting six inches off my mutton chops is what's been holding my career back?


Last-Woodpecker

Which show is this?


exboxer

Silicon Valley


Lark_vi_Britannia

I love this show. I'm really going to miss Erlich Bachmann's character. The scenes with him and Jian-Yang are the best scenes in the entire show. [This one will be my favorite forever.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JTx8llpBxQ&t=429s)


exboxer

Lots of good parts. One that I loved too is when Gavin goes on a trip and tells his team before he leaves that the they are out of honey. They think it is a message and go off a tangent changing their whole plan lol


Diligent-Teacher3521

I have not a ponytail, it's optional!


cs_katalyst

I just traded off a team to a new one within the company, the team i left had me and another tall white guy. My new team is me, tall white guy, indian guy, and asian girl.. We're close to the mold but only a team of 3 BE eng's


Your-username-must-b

I had to kill a guy for the skinny guy position last time


Hamsterzzillla

It's not just a programmer group, it's a Dnd party and DM


ParticularMobile5848

I am the brown Fat Indian :)


r7butler

I'm the black guy But technically i'm mixed and my mom is white and because of how genetics work, i ended up with straight hair Which would make me the east indian guy


JaSuperior

Second ✊🏽 lol. They never revolve me around.


hippie343

I've got a poly tail. Shit.


mastershooter77

a poly tail??? damn bro how many tails do you have?


hippie343

I might have typed that on mobile...


sortof_here

I'm fat guy with long hair. Pony tail is optional. I wouldn't call my beard an example of "crazy facial hair" but it does exist on my face


Rektroth

I am an average height, fat white guy with no facial hair. Where do I fit?


anxiety_on_steroids

You my friend will go to senior engineer :)


Pristine-Agent7523

I have a pony tail and have been gaining weight recently does this mean I’m turning into a real programmer?


lookwhatmeli0cando

Fat guy with ponytail seeking crew of guys to travel with


mohd_sm81

now I know why I never get hired..... tall and white but not skinny, and no crazy facial hair. I knew rhe solution would be thaaaat easy


Cartime99

My friend group is just missing the fat guys


wixter88

Crazy facial hair 🙋🏼‍♂️


burnskull55

south america, fat + pony tail .


barsonica

Not all programmers are men. This post has been here like thre times already.


ambercrayon

The women can form our own squad apparently. I'm the tall fat one with the ponytail.


lyxil

short skinny Asian 🙋‍♀️


ShakezulaDaMicRulah

A few announced themselves in this post, i think im the only black guy so far tho. I'm gonna switch to a nomad language and become a super unicorn


ambercrayon

You can join our squad if you want, strength in numbers 😂. I can always go back to Cobol if I want to be more unique I suppose since it was burned into my brain and I don't think it's ever leaving.


lookwhatmeli0cando

Why you ruining our fun. Find your own crew to hang with


2020pythonchallenge

Awww... where does a buff tall white guy fit in here... :l


mizzyz

Swift mobile developer


2020pythonchallenge

Nice, when do I learn how to do that?


mizzyz

Maybe just grow a pony tail.


2020pythonchallenge

Funny enough, I am indeed growing my hair out. My gf said she likes my hair long so I just stopped getting it cut. Im firmly against ponytails though


mr_smith24

What movie is this again?


bambi12321

Why am I the skinny white guy tho god damn relatable


erythana

One of the best shows i've watched in a very long time


indjev99

Damn, this is only the 14th time I've seen this here.


skepticalboi420

Wts 3 asians also trading for a fat ponytail guy


justbeastrz

Im the one with the facial hair


NerdyStallion

Well they should have just hired me to make up for having to hire 4 people . I am ...a tall skinny fat east Indian guy with a ponytail and facial hair.


ahumanrobot

I'm definitely gonna be the fat guy with a ponytail, I'm already half way there