This is where the fun begins
By - memehimhim
Your IQ is inversely proportional to your head size
Ok but what’s his side effect?
You have to divorce your canon 8 women
So that means I'm single again!?
Since you´re on reddit, my guess is you always were :)
Hey I've got women lining up to be with the Mundi
Once you go double headed, you never forget it
qui gon jinn
You suffer from a multitude of STDs
Because Qui Gon absolutely FUCKS
Fuck whores, steal kids. Sigma mindset.
"You know what I like? BANGIN WHOOOUUURES."- Frank Reyno----I mean, Qui-Gon Jinn
After getting most stds the order drilled it into his head to do blood tests first since they got tired of treating him all the time
How is that a side effect? Qui Gon gets around anyway
"I have full blown AIDS"
Your name is pronounced Ginn
The main youngling Anakin murdered
You get diddled by Jedi Bob
I appreciate the continuity
This is what real world building looks like.
They need to hire everyone in this comment thread to redo the sequels
Somehow, jedi bob returned
You are obligated to buy deathsticks whenever someone offers you some
I think you mean ketamine.
And that’s not really a side effect, that’s just yoda.
Mmm, committed war crimes I have, traffic the younglings I must.
And by Traffic I mean, Run over minorities in my 2001 honda civic I must.
In order to retain force powers, you must sexually pleasure gonk droids
Whats wrong here?
I see this as an absolute win
Harvest their GONK
I don't think you understand the concept, the side effects have to be a punishment
Shak-ti, or how ever you say her name.
You must breastfeed Yoda every weekend
God I wish that were me
I mean, if you like breastfeeding a little frog man that certainly could be arranged
I have waited a long time for this moment, my little green friend
Patience you must have my young Padawan
No punishment, you have made a great choice
Apart from having to die 3 times
Good, triple the death triple the canon.
I feel like she's still alive somewhere, like she's Star War's version of Kenny.
It’s pronounced Shak-ti
Damn so bad it got deleted...
Impossible! Perhaps the archives are incomplete
I know. I’m really curious now.
Well there would be an obvious word play along the lines of: but you enjoy fisting k.ds
That would prolly get deleted. Like this comment will be?
I was definitely hoping for "You get Kit fisted."
Is that a side-effect or a benefit?
So, Canon Kit Fisto?
Maybe one day they'll recreate episode 3 in clone wars style with clone wars characters. The battle with Palpatine would be amazing.
Looks like you still get to bang aayla secura, lucky you
You lose a planet and Yoda humiliates you in front of a dozen younglings
So nothing has changed then?
You have to accept all the death sticks you are offered
You must face the Jedi council for diddling younglings
Wait wtf, why is this a thing
Its a reference to another comment
And it's fucking gold
You get stranded on Dathomir, go insane and get beaten in combat by 2 teenagers
Love to see Fallen Order references here
After experiencing the thrill of gambling with the lives of a young slave and his mother, you develop a gambling addiction
CREDITS WILL DO FINE !!!!!!
*slams fist on poker table*
No, they won't! What, do you think you're some kind of Jedi? I'm a Pit Bossian. Mind tricks don't work on me!
Lego Obi-wan Kenobi
If you touch a lego coin, you die
And you have the magnet stud cheat on
When you are within 2 miles of a Star Wars lego set with antagonists you make a faint moan and your corpse explodes. You regenerate after 5 seconds with spawn immunity and your main goal in life is to beat the phantom menace story so you can finally escape your purgatory.
Your high ground advantage is nullified by crippling dwarfism
So, white Yoda then. At least I have a beard.
And my axe!
And my bow!
And my sword!
Oh goddamnit who let these guys in here again?
You know... You really should lock that back door more often
Close the blast doors! Close the blast doors!
THEY WENT UP THE VENTILATION SHAFT
They're Still Coming Through!!!
That’s ok, technically when he won with the high ground the crippling blows were dealt when Obiwan was below the enemy
His trick is to make the opponents think the high ground is necessary so they focus on that aspect. While they do everything they can to get and keep the high ground, Obi-Wan is going for the killshot.
Well there was at least one time where he really fucked that up
Thats not a side effect you shoud know that Obi-wan Kenobi IS THE HIGH GROUND
ahsoka tano... I can't believe no one picked her
You get cancelled for using racial slurs against Nute Gunray
But only after he says “She cant do that! Shoot her, or something!”
Wait, did she?
Yeah she absolutely slandered him and all the Nemoidians on a hostage rescue mission with Senator Chuchi in Season 3
Edit: I don’t know how to spell some of these words, and I’m too lazy to look them up
You have to stay within the order
You have to make a sand sculpture of your dead mom
Woah calm down there satan
You will actually be punished for commiting warcrimes
Do I still get the girl?
No, but I´m sure if you drop that soap at just the right moment in space prison you will get a nice alternative ;)
This is outrageous, it’s unfair!
Take a soap bar, young skywalker
You cannot bang anyone, including yourselfe
that's just cruel
You can force-sense whenever people are thinking pervy thoughts about you.
Your first mission is on Hoth and you didn't pack any winter clothes so your clone squad has to do all the work while you stay inside the ship and they make fun of you for making them do all the work on that mission for the next few months before they shoot in the back.
Your oxygen mask permanently smells like semen
Actually not an Oxygen mask. It's a Helium mask.
His species can't survive in oxygen rich environments. That's why they have those masks.
Yea I'm being that guy, sorry.
I'm wondering what he sounds like without permanent helium voice now...
This is the greatest Jedi Master of All Time
What if he does, and his oxygen voice is even deeper
I think he meant it as in an oxygen-filtering mask
You mean gas masks don't produce noxious gas to pour directly into my lungs?
Of course they do, just in super small Death Stick doses. It's the dose that kills you, not the poison
Now wait a minute...
Sure, why not
You can't be a dick to younger Jedis
So I must grand the rank of master to Anakin is what you are saying?
I think u/memehimhim is a sith lord.
A SITH LAWD???
God I wish Bernie Mac was a Sith Lord
But thats like ... nearly his whole character.... right next to being a big headed dick to everyone else
Basic, Motherfucker!! Do. You. Speak it?!
They dont speak english in what?
What ain't no place I ever heard of.
This disrespect for Windu is something I cannot abide by. I hereby challenge you to a duel.
Every award you receive has your name misspelled
That one dinosaur that gets shot by jango fett
Side effect: you don’t get shot by Jango and get taken out by a regular battle droid
You lose all your teeth
You should be grateful. Just look what happened his his teeth in Revenge of the Sith
You get sick and vomit whenever you perform a salto
You still donnt have a canon death
infinite life acheived
Big brain time
The only snacks you are allowed to eat are testickles
Ogdo bogdo becomes an immortal hyperspace traveling beast and will hunt you to the end of The galaxy and back. Never stopping never resting
You can't wear revealing outfits to battle anymore
Do you think the council ever sent her to cold climate missions?
They *could* have but decided against it.
Yeah that's fine, at least now I'm a girl :)
username checks out
Wait we both had the same plan, this is getting out of hand now there are 2 of us
So, this was your plan all along!
Well done. Lol.
You have prostate cancer
Edit:(please get the reference)
Ima Gun Di
The Twi'leks are still ungrateful towards you after you died to save them.
You have to pass a spelling test every time you want to turn your lightsaber on
I'm gonna give you an actual unique answer for this. Checked all the other comments, nobody else put it. ***[Weird Al Yankovik.](https://youtu.be/hEcjgJSqSRU)***
You can't sing
Jedi padawan Sha'a Gi.
You can’t eat 10 layer sandwiches with your great dane anymore
You have become the canon version
You are a good friend
Oh god… the flashbacks, it’s all coming back at once
He said jedi, not civilian
You will eat sand
Downside: You are Pong Krell.
By far the worst side effect imaginable
You have to love your troopers
You must yell "DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?" after everything you say.
The side effects come with
You’ll be de-canonized by disney