T O P
Electr1cL3m0n

It’s like a poorly thought out fanfiction


xx_mashugana_xx

You're right. To think that the Carolinas (at least SC) wouldn't stick with the former Confederacy, despite the fact that they are pretty culturally homogenous and have generally voted the same way as one another over the past 200 years, is laughable. Nevada and Arizona have been trying to distance themselves from California for decades, so why wouldn't they jump on a break-away?


VancouverSky

I laughed out loud at the part where Texas is part of Mexico or "under Mexican influence"


Ryan_Alving

Yeah. Dumbest part in this whole thing. Mexico can't even influence *their own* country, and now their going to puppet a coalition of American states? Pff.


VancouverSky

I don't even think the Mexicans in the south would want their states under Mexican influence. 😆


consultantbp

Ya I think so too. The whole reason that Texas seceded from Mexico in the first place was that it couldn't protect its citizens, and nothing's changed since then


Erethiel117

To be fair, it was because Mexico couldn’t protect its citizens from the plains Indians, mainly Comanche. Nobody could adequately protect their people from them. It wasn’t until after several diseases devastated their population and the US military launched full scale slaughter of the bison herds that the Comanche were broken down.


lurker411_k9

not just any coalition of states - the states that hate them the most lmao.


ProudChoferesClaseB

Mexicans seem to operate as a cross-border *culture*. The failed Central State in Mexico **proper** might win one or two small concessions that it barely governs, but no way are Mexican-Americans in Texas and N.M. gonna just submit to being terrorized by cartels & the latest jerkoffs in Mexico City. Boy, did you think *Washington D.C.* was bad in comparison? Texas would go it's own way, Florida is the Gateway to the Caribbean & Miami is the most prosperous city in Latin America precisely *because* it's haitian & hispanophone citizens **left** Cuba, D.R., P.R., and Haiti. It's **more likely Miami will lord it over the Caribbean,** and not visa versa, certainly not Mexico! Georgia and it's hub Atlanta might work with Miami and Florida, and the states between Florida/Georgia and Texas are likely to have shifting allegiances depending on the time of day and average annual precipitation. Canada will influence some areas, esp. if Canada stays intact, but Alaska could go either way, if anything Canada is likely to protect Alaska from Russia! Hawaii is too far for Japan or China to effectively rule, even if it's people have a lot of blood and ancestry from those countries. It becomes it's own weird eco-progressive island state. The Northeast Megalopolis either fragments, or shakily unifies as a solid power bloc. The Upper South and Great Lakes region probably floats in the orbit of the Northeast, with infl. from other regions. Cali rules itself and maybe some surrounding territory. Badly. Lots of poop on sidewalks, overflowing prisons, and underpaid immigrant laborers.


Peazyzell

The MidWest Canada influence was pretty egregious too. Pretty much that whole thing is idiotic


Arntor1184

Idaho also has like the most or second most militia groups in the US along with Montana so doubt they suddenly become communist.


Brocboy

Not to mention that border states would even likely divide amongst themselves. To think that someone in Main and someone in Kentucky would have more together than someone in Indiana is insane. It really shows they have no real idea how philosophically different even just states are from one another.


TheAzureMage

Yeah, Maryland would probably end up on the southern border of the North East country, and even that would fracture. The DC area would stay with the liberals, but the eastern shore and the western countries would most definitely bail. Virginia would be similar. North VA is basically extended DC, but the rest of it is far more likely to stick with the south.


rayluxuryyacht

That's not even the laughable part. Even if the US split these 4 ways, each part would still have a GDP several times larger than Mexico, Canada or Russia. They would remain independent.


unfathomabibble

Russia is extremely tardy. That's why they're so based.


notonyourspectrum

I agree on the southern states, but wouldn't Cali require any state that provides it water? Contrarily, which one if any of those wants the tax burden, etc. It's a large economy but comes with alot of mess...and great weed.


ChineseBotAccount

He just divided it up into quadrants without considering geography, politics, nor culture The Alaska going to Russia thing is definitely wishful thinking


lurker411_k9

lmao thank you, the more i read i was like “what kind of fantasy shit is this?” texas joining mexico?? tell me you don’t understand america without telling me you don’t understand america.


SexyJellyfish1

The Midwest doesn't think about Canada at all. Also the West hates the Chinese government


Blazewardog

I mean I think of how it would be a good target after the UP is secured and the Michiganers are dealt with appropriately.


Electronic_Demand_61

The hunters and retired military in Michigan alone would conquer half of Canada.


TheAzureMage

Based and invade 'murrica's hat pilled.


PredditorAdmin

Idaho, eastern Washington and eastern Oregon want nothing to do with this nonsense.


FilipRebro

Give it 10 years


Electr1cL3m0n

!remind me 10 years


Jasper_Ride

PCM will be banned long before this reminder goes off for you


Kilroy0497

And now that someone’s said that, watch is actually somehow beyond all possibility still be around. The world is funny like that.


Life-Ad1409

Based


ImProbablyNotABird

There’s no way the South would split like that.


BigTuna3000

I live in Georgia so that’s where I looked first. No way we’re going anywhere different then SC or TN lol


Turtle_murder

The Russians clearly don’t know anything about Tennessee.


notonyourspectrum

No way the SEC is broken up...lol


Grand_Negotiation

Even if the politicians were dumb enough to try that, people would go to extreme lengths to maintain their college football. *Revolutionary* lengths, even.


Peazyzell

Tye Aggies kind of pulled it off though


AcidBuuurn

I live in Virginia and 3/4 of VA would join KY, NC, GA, and TN and the other quarter would join MD.


RangeroftheIsle

There's no way the west will split like that.


Jhimmibhob

Yeah, my life has been divided between Georgia and South Carolina. THEY'RE THE SAME PLACE.


FilipRebro

Time is the strongest thing in the world.


ded2electricbugaloo

no offense lady, but people were outcrying the death of American democracy while they were still signing the damn paper, and they haven't stopped. we've given it 10 years x 25 and it really should've happened when we were in a civil war that killed hundreds of thousands and not when some people disagree on some things.


FilipRebro

Your democracy died the day when bankers became more powerful than anything in the world, which is 1960s.


Creative-Leading7167

>which is 1960s. December 23, 1913, actually. Look it up.


Interesting_Hair_191

Jp Morgan has entered the chat


ProudChoferesClaseB

JPM: "Hey I'm just here to talk to you about your home equity and the potential for obtaining a reasonably priced line of credit!"


FilipRebro

Oh, okay thanks


jayz0ned

It's almost as bad as the Balkanized China maps that are always floating around!


Thicc-Zacc

They didn’t even put politics together lol. They have red states and blue states jumbled together in a way the US would never split.


Awoody87

The US will split, but Utah will remain united with California? South Carolina will decide it has more in common with NYC than with Georgia? I think a lot of middle schoolers could create something better than this.


QuixPro

If the U.S splits it will be Urban vs. Rural. That’s where the largest political differences exist. Even in blue states like California, there are some not so happy red counties.


RangeroftheIsle

Underrated comment.


subversive07

The inland counties would try to split from the coastal counties in California.


Shinnic

Utah will unite with California over the cold dead bodies of like 90% of the people in Utah. In other words that would never ever happen.


NicksAunt

It would probably be more akin to how the USA was split between the Germans and Japanese in Man in the High Castle. Rocky mtn states would be an autonomous zone, and maybe the south would be a country. Texas would take mexico as soon as they could too.


Shinnic

I assume you think the east coast would be right wing and the west cost left wing? Cuz you know California.


NicksAunt

I think if such a thing were to occur, it would be beyond the current scope what constitutes being left or right wing in the USA right now.


Siker_7

The coasts would be Left wing, south would be Right, central may end up Libertarian.


RangeroftheIsle

Northern Mexico could join willingly if they got a good deal, they have a lot of connections with the southwest.


xlbeutel

So like 5% OF CA's population?


RangeroftheIsle

Most of California isn't going to remain with California.


PineappleGrenade19

Kentucky and Tennessee are not ever going to be aligned with those damn Yankees lol


KushinLos

Hell, some of those states might even break apart


Cacophonous_Silence

Everything east of the west coast would not stay with the coast Fucking Idaho under Chinese influence? Get fucking real


ItsCalledSquawPeak

Arizona will literally be the first state to take up arms against California.


RangeroftheIsle

Much of California will take up arms against California.


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thegamingkaiser

Tell me you don't know American culture, without telling me you don't know American culture. Because there is no way in Mormon Hell, that any self respecting Utah local will ever be under the controll of California.


THE_DARK_LORD_JEEBUS

There is no way in hell any self-respecting American will ever be under the control of California. Or Russia. Or China. Or Japan. Or the EU. Or Mexico.


HonorMyBeetus

Oh buddy, the far north would absolutely join the EU. Or rather the populace would support it while the people in charge instead tried to carve out their own fiefdoms.


VenserSojo

Maybe Mass and NY the rest would go full IRA to that noise.


delicious_crackers

This is the dumbest map I've ever seen. Canadian influence? What influence? They're a buffer state between the US and Russia and the exact second we start to run out of water they'll be annexed in a bloodless war that will last 83 seconds.


Life-Ad1409

Based


rymden_viking

We did it in Fallout in 2072.


StonerJake22727

I expect similar outcomes


SovietRussiaWasPoor

Honestly, yah. Unironically, if we don’t get our shit together we will start facing serious problems. Not sure who vault-tec would be in the real world but their part is essential. After all, they launched the first nukes.


NPC7826

Canadia has had it far too good for far too long.


delicious_crackers

America taking away Canada’s healthcare would be the funniest thing that could possibly happen.


MargaretThacherVore

I could easily see most of Canada willingly becoming US states in the next few decades.


FreezingLlamaReddit

British Columbia and Quebec would probably fight back but the more conservative territories might join if they got a good deal. But overall I doubt Canada would ever become part of the states.


BossMan060

I don't think there'd be a fight. The US isn't about to forcibly annex Canada if they don't want to join us. We have respect for our northern neighbors and their wishes.


FreezingLlamaReddit

I meant that in a purely hypothetical scenario, I doubt that the US would ever try to annex Canada.


VenserSojo

The only realistic scenario is a northern passage dispute devolving into hostile relations, a long shot but a possibility.


3cutedoggos

Alberta and Saskatchewan already want to leave


observing_from_afar

Based tankie


titanup1993

A Russian professors prediction: aka a drunk nuerodivergents wet dream while his own shit hole can’t even reach 60% literacy


TheZeppelin1995

Based and Russia can't read pilled


NinjaOld8057

Better dead than well read


FilipRebro

Mostly because there are places with different languages, this is a thing that happens when federation allows many languages to be taught in their lands.


I_am_person_being

But is that 60% literacy *in Russian* or in general? If it's 60% in Russian, fine, if it's 60% in general though you've got a serious problem on your hands.


RussianComrade96

60% is a made up bullshit. Russia has 99,7% [literacy rate](https://knoema.com/atlas/Russian-Federation/topics/Education/Literacy/Adult-literacy-rate#:~:text=Russian%20Federation%20%2D%20Adult%20(15%2B)%20literacy%20rate&text=In%202018%2C%20adult%20literacy%20rate,average%20annual%20rate%20of%200.59%25.)


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TheSublimeGoose

…along with being a shithole ruled by wildly corrupt and incompetent officials


FilipRebro

Like thats a new thing across the world.


TheSublimeGoose

Why is whataboutism the only way one can defend Russia 😂


titanup1993

Because Russia is a shithole paper tiger run by an actual murderer and because tankies are nuerodivergent


Electrical-Pumpkin14

Atleast our troops dont have paper in their plate carriers


-Rugiaevit

You're basically describing every republic out there lol


InferiousX

It's old as shit. This was originally released in 1998 and here's a 12 year old [article](https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/06/map-of-the-day-ex-kgb-analyst-predicts-balkanization-of-us/58945/) about the map.


calamitous1

Based and history pilled


Stegasaurous11

Based and map of the day pilled


Redditardus

Hey don't ridicule us drunk neurodivergents, we can have the best and worst of ideas. But for us a maps like this is a joke. And I think this Russian professor is not kidding and is trying to use this is as a propaganda piece for Russia or to show how internally incoherent USA is.


Jag2853

What the hell their literacy is that low?


LordTaChanka

Russia’s history has been a constant battle of pulling itself into the future but never catching up.


FilipRebro

If you think Russia had hard history, take a look at [this Black Balkan](https://sk.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kon%C5%BEsk%C3%A1_demokratick%C3%A1_republika)


biased_Owl

It was true maybe a couple of centuries ago. The literacy rate in Russia has long been above 90 and even 99%


[deleted]

The one thing the Soviets were good at was improving literacy rates


NPC7826

How else could they read gulag tattoos?


CyberDagger

By killing the illiterates?


Scientiam_Prosequi

I read that as the professors asshole had a 60% literacy rate


AMechanicum

He made that the fuck up.


AnotherGit

No, according to a quick google search it's 99.7%.


XoHHa

This is a parody to countless stupid "How Russia will be split" maps, all of them are completely stupid and baseless and it is obvious that authors don't know the fuck about Russia


ImProbablyNotABird

We drunk neurodivergents don’t claim him.


tsundokume

Russia’s best bet is to continue to throw money into fringe political movements in the US to destabilize society. Problem is, this is a country of grillers and any civil war talk is by wheelchair symbol single men who want their niche extremist ideology to reign supreme. I say let’s dump them all in a field in New Mexico or Nebraska and let them Fortnite it out. Winners get yeeted into the ocean. I’m so sick of political extremists ruining shit for everybody.


CyberDagger

Based and Fortnite-pilled


Yop_BombNA

Woah woah woah, Texas and friends under Mexican influence??? Texas alone has double the GDP and production power of Mexico. I think the Russian that made this fails to understand how powerful america is compared to its neighbours… America can afford to elect useless taint after useless taint because it is so far ahead of Mexico it doesn’t matter and Canada has like 3 people living across 90 % of its land and the other 10 % isn’t big enough to be a threat.


Asclepiati

Texas military also eclipses Mexico's. They couldn't occupy Texas even by force.


Scarlet_maximoff

And thats not considering the amount of Yee Haw that will happen if they do.


yo_guy12

Can confirm texes will yee haw


TheAzureMage

The number of hunters in Texas would comprise the world's largest standing army. So in a matchup of Texas v Mexico, the Mexican army would be the third largest army in Mexico.


PootinsAssWiper

Where's the rise of the Neo-Minutemen who channel the spirit of Revolutionary forefathers and free us once again from the imperial menace brought upon us by Winnie the pooh and the taco legions?


ThirdRook

I've already got my AR and my black spray paint for writing WOLVERINES on every street corner.


RustyPoetatoes

Lol at Idaho and Utah joining that block. No way in hell.


iTanooki

This is just laughable. Mexico, a failed narcostate, is going to take over the south?


Frostlord3

I read “Republic of Texas” and though: “Yeah, that makes sense. Texas would probably secede and take a bunch of states with it and just go off and form their own country.” Then I read that it was going to be controlled by Mexico. It’s like they don’t know a single thing about the US


holytoledo760

They’ve been working for our demise and are talking about the spoils. Notice that their plans are post Civil War 2.0.


JudenKaisar

Or the south is going to take over Mexico. They do have similar cultures


HeemeyerDidNoWrong

Parts of Mexico are redneck paradise. Separated by language more than culture.


Interesting_Hair_191

Facts south west kansas has a huge Hispanic cowboy culture we all get along just fine


InferiousX

Cowboys were originally Hispanic.


ThirdRook

Not only that, but without the influence of DC holding it back, Texicana might as well invade Mexico and control everything down to and including the Panama Canal.


FilipRebro

South is going to be bought by Cartels


Taco6J

Funny enough the area "under Canadian influence" has double Canada's population


WhatDidIJustStepIn

Yip, Canada is going to ride down on moose and polar bears and annex 15 fucking states. I'm seeing the same delusional optimism they took into Ukraine.


DidjTerminator

Well they were kinda right about California and Hollywood selling their souls to Pooh bear.


[deleted]

Already have.


ToeSucker284

I'll smoke crack before I let my state come under Canadian control


Vexonte

The fact it is following state lines and is separated into quadrants is proof that who ever made this doesn't know shit.


kingdav97

This is like the dumbest take I've ever seen. It seems to be based entirely on geography with 0 understanding of culture


[deleted]

Is this what we did when we drew borders in Africa?


__Visegrad_

>Utah siding with California and being under Chinese influence > >Colorado siding with Montana and being under Canadian influence > >Kentucky siding with New York and being under EU influence > >The South agreeing to be under any influence and not being independent Glad to see Russian Professors are just as neurodivergent as American Professors. The difference is somehow American students agree to pay $50k a year to listen to their professors.


deezalmonds998

I went to university expecting my professors to be communist femboys according to reddit but all I got was regular ass school


tsundokume

Honestly it’s just right wing PCM cope that all college professors are evil brainwashers lol


Wot106

That's because the brainwashing starts in Kindergarten, now.


tsundokume

Sure it does


deezalmonds998

Yup that's exactly right, it's so cringe. Seems like a lot of them simply haven't experienced what school is actually like and are just following the reactionary right wing media narrative


Future-Studio-9380

What a dumb bitch lol


HYDRAlives

Most of these would still be more powerful countries than most of our neighbors lol.


Life-Ad1409

Not if we separate, our economy would crash due to how drastic of a change this is


Wot106

Pretty sure Idaho and Utah won't tolerate that.


hiwk

I don't see Kentucky joining the EU anytime soon... Why wouldn't most secessionist states, if any, strive for independence? Stupid map, poorly thought through.


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Riflemate

I like how the Midwest is apparently under the control of a country that has a lower population and probably a lower GDP. The south definitely has a higher GDP than Mexico and a comparable population. Dudes on crack.


NarrowTea

South Carolina is auth left.... \-\_-


mattcojo

This person has never actually been to the United States


Diozon

The Texas Republic is far more likely to annex Mexico than the other way around. I'm willing to bet money that the economy of the outlined states is twice as large as Mexico's.


Freestyle_Fellowship

A Russian professor? Opinion is meaningless.


alexthestoicgrappler

Well- guess the Russians intellectuals are as out of touch as ours


spongeboi-me-bob-

Tell me you’ve never been to the U.S. without telling me you’ve never been to the U.S.


MagicalMiranda

Worse than fanfiction


calm_gigachad

That is bullshit. Mexico can't even take care of itself (drug cartels) how would it able to influence a part of the USA? There is no way Canada could do anything either. East Coast can't join EU. It is called EUROPEAN union.


Consequenceplz

Pretty spectacular to to assume literally all of the US gets parted out to other countries


GeezGuez

The mexico part is probably the most unlikely going with everything else. But I imagine that the Texas republic will be too racist to join Mexico and so would try to conquer Mexico. They have the guns, Mexico has the cartel army so...


Aginor23

You’re out of your god damn mind if you think Idaho is going to go with California


real_psymansays

guess I should buy a little chunk of NM desert then...


Christianmemelord

Montana allowing Canada to annex them: doubt


Damakoas

Please for the love of god I don't care about Chinese imperialism I just don't want to be apart of California.


Revil0_o

Why would China let Russia have Alaska if they already control the whole east coast??


RudeIBegYa

No, please… anything but the EU


Batmanbeatyou

Move the Carolinas, Tennessee, and Arizona to the Texas Republic, Kentucky, Utah, and Idaho to the Central North-American Republic, and then you’ll have something.


Lil_Penpusher

I was gonna make a joke here but I don't even know where to start, honestly.


marseillelesang

Atlantic america "may join the european union" Yeah but no, no way, never


My_massive_dingaling

Texas alone is stronger than Mexico let alone all of the south


gloutonnerie

seems a little easy to just divide a country and give each part to the nearest country... i could've made a better prediction when i was 10


RugTumpington

What moron drew this map? Like there is actually no thought to these divisions.


Curtis_The_Ginge

Tennessee? Auth left? No way


Asha108

I’m sorry but this supremely stupid.


Hydrocoded

This Russian professor has brain damage, evidently


WarbozzZoge

fr


dirtyALEK

Libleft utah and Idaho lol


SnooShortcuts7657

EU, Canada, and Mexico wouldn’t try to take US but they would aid it. An invasion by Mexico would result in Mexico becoming a US territory. China wouldn’t be able to invade the continental US. Three park rangers would be enough to hold off what’s left of the Russian military.


TheBigBo-Peep

I don't know which is funnier - Texas subjugating to Mexico or Canada accepting Ohio


Laxwarrior1120

Every single individual state on their own is stronger then Mexico in almost every conceivable way. The idea that any would be under Mexican influence is laughable, the southern states most of all.


kuchenluege5446

wtf is this


_TheXplodenator

Utah would never join with California. We should go hang with Texas


StalthChicken

Canada ain’t takin’ shit.


Basalt420

Idaho with the commiefornians? lol


soggypoopsock

my favorite part is him actually thinking Mexico is going to take over a quarter of the US. Yes, the fierce Mexican army will surely secure this new border….just as soon as they get permission from the backwater drug cartels that have been kicking their asses for decades now


GrassEnjoyer1989

Right center strong together


VenserSojo

Trying to exert influence over America from across the ocean is a fools errand, Russian drunk knows nothing especially not US geography which would ultimately be the dividing lines of any schism.


Realbigwingboy

Mormons will re-establish the theocratic state of Deseret across the intermountain west


shadowsword8085

I'll be damned if ohio will be influenced by Canada much less be in the same faction as Michigan


12641890

I'll be cold in the ground before I am part of Canada.


ASquawkingTurtle

Wait, Idaho/Ariz wouldn't want to go with California, Tenn & SC wouldn't want to be with New England, and Colo would be begging for the Californian's People's Democratic Republic.


Sam1825

Canadian Kansas


[deleted]

I think this guy copied a map I made when I was an edgy 13-year old first coming to awareness of geopolitics


BiggerRedBeard

This is a joke


Neckbeardascended28

I’ll be dead and buried in the cold, cold ground before I salute a goddammed tree leaf. I am American, I was born American, I was raised American. As was my mother, and her mother and father and their mothers and fathers and so on for the past two damned centuries. We know no flag save the one striped in the blood of our founders.


calamitous1

Texas going full circle, viva Tejas! In all honesty an influx of well-armed Texan vigilantes to Mexico would either help alleviate, or make the drug war down there into a desert Vietnam


_Acevictorium_

Yeah if anything Texas would take Mexico. They can’t even defeat the criminals in their own country


AlexPurr

He got one part correct. The west coast is pretty much already a part of China at this point


caseylain

Fixed. https://i.imgur.com/EWLD0kb.jpg