It’s like a poorly thought out fanfiction


You're right. To think that the Carolinas (at least SC) wouldn't stick with the former Confederacy, despite the fact that they are pretty culturally homogenous and have generally voted the same way as one another over the past 200 years, is laughable. Nevada and Arizona have been trying to distance themselves from California for decades, so why wouldn't they jump on a break-away?


I laughed out loud at the part where Texas is part of Mexico or "under Mexican influence"


Yeah. Dumbest part in this whole thing. Mexico can't even influence *their own* country, and now their going to puppet a coalition of American states? Pff.


I don't even think the Mexicans in the south would want their states under Mexican influence. 😆


Ya I think so too. The whole reason that Texas seceded from Mexico in the first place was that it couldn't protect its citizens, and nothing's changed since then


To be fair, it was because Mexico couldn’t protect its citizens from the plains Indians, mainly Comanche. Nobody could adequately protect their people from them. It wasn’t until after several diseases devastated their population and the US military launched full scale slaughter of the bison herds that the Comanche were broken down.


not just any coalition of states - the states that hate them the most lmao.


Mexicans seem to operate as a cross-border *culture*. The failed Central State in Mexico **proper** might win one or two small concessions that it barely governs, but no way are Mexican-Americans in Texas and N.M. gonna just submit to being terrorized by cartels & the latest jerkoffs in Mexico City. Boy, did you think *Washington D.C.* was bad in comparison? Texas would go it's own way, Florida is the Gateway to the Caribbean & Miami is the most prosperous city in Latin America precisely *because* it's haitian & hispanophone citizens **left** Cuba, D.R., P.R., and Haiti. It's **more likely Miami will lord it over the Caribbean,** and not visa versa, certainly not Mexico! Georgia and it's hub Atlanta might work with Miami and Florida, and the states between Florida/Georgia and Texas are likely to have shifting allegiances depending on the time of day and average annual precipitation. Canada will influence some areas, esp. if Canada stays intact, but Alaska could go either way, if anything Canada is likely to protect Alaska from Russia! Hawaii is too far for Japan or China to effectively rule, even if it's people have a lot of blood and ancestry from those countries. It becomes it's own weird eco-progressive island state. The Northeast Megalopolis either fragments, or shakily unifies as a solid power bloc. The Upper South and Great Lakes region probably floats in the orbit of the Northeast, with infl. from other regions. Cali rules itself and maybe some surrounding territory. Badly. Lots of poop on sidewalks, overflowing prisons, and underpaid immigrant laborers.


The MidWest Canada influence was pretty egregious too. Pretty much that whole thing is idiotic


Idaho also has like the most or second most militia groups in the US along with Montana so doubt they suddenly become communist.


Not to mention that border states would even likely divide amongst themselves. To think that someone in Main and someone in Kentucky would have more together than someone in Indiana is insane. It really shows they have no real idea how philosophically different even just states are from one another.


Yeah, Maryland would probably end up on the southern border of the North East country, and even that would fracture. The DC area would stay with the liberals, but the eastern shore and the western countries would most definitely bail. Virginia would be similar. North VA is basically extended DC, but the rest of it is far more likely to stick with the south.


That's not even the laughable part. Even if the US split these 4 ways, each part would still have a GDP several times larger than Mexico, Canada or Russia. They would remain independent.


Russia is extremely tardy. That's why they're so based.


I agree on the southern states, but wouldn't Cali require any state that provides it water? Contrarily, which one if any of those wants the tax burden, etc. It's a large economy but comes with alot of mess...and great weed.


He just divided it up into quadrants without considering geography, politics, nor culture The Alaska going to Russia thing is definitely wishful thinking


lmao thank you, the more i read i was like “what kind of fantasy shit is this?” texas joining mexico?? tell me you don’t understand america without telling me you don’t understand america.


The Midwest doesn't think about Canada at all. Also the West hates the Chinese government


I mean I think of how it would be a good target after the UP is secured and the Michiganers are dealt with appropriately.


The hunters and retired military in Michigan alone would conquer half of Canada.


Based and invade 'murrica's hat pilled.


Idaho, eastern Washington and eastern Oregon want nothing to do with this nonsense.


Give it 10 years


!remind me 10 years


PCM will be banned long before this reminder goes off for you


And now that someone’s said that, watch is actually somehow beyond all possibility still be around. The world is funny like that.




There’s no way the South would split like that.


I live in Georgia so that’s where I looked first. No way we’re going anywhere different then SC or TN lol


The Russians clearly don’t know anything about Tennessee.


No way the SEC is broken up...lol


Even if the politicians were dumb enough to try that, people would go to extreme lengths to maintain their college football. *Revolutionary* lengths, even.


Tye Aggies kind of pulled it off though


I live in Virginia and 3/4 of VA would join KY, NC, GA, and TN and the other quarter would join MD.


There's no way the west will split like that.


Yeah, my life has been divided between Georgia and South Carolina. THEY'RE THE SAME PLACE.


Time is the strongest thing in the world.


no offense lady, but people were outcrying the death of American democracy while they were still signing the damn paper, and they haven't stopped. we've given it 10 years x 25 and it really should've happened when we were in a civil war that killed hundreds of thousands and not when some people disagree on some things.


Your democracy died the day when bankers became more powerful than anything in the world, which is 1960s.


>which is 1960s. December 23, 1913, actually. Look it up.


Jp Morgan has entered the chat


JPM: "Hey I'm just here to talk to you about your home equity and the potential for obtaining a reasonably priced line of credit!"


Oh, okay thanks


It's almost as bad as the Balkanized China maps that are always floating around!


They didn’t even put politics together lol. They have red states and blue states jumbled together in a way the US would never split.


The US will split, but Utah will remain united with California? South Carolina will decide it has more in common with NYC than with Georgia? I think a lot of middle schoolers could create something better than this.


If the U.S splits it will be Urban vs. Rural. That’s where the largest political differences exist. Even in blue states like California, there are some not so happy red counties.


Underrated comment.


The inland counties would try to split from the coastal counties in California.


Utah will unite with California over the cold dead bodies of like 90% of the people in Utah. In other words that would never ever happen.


It would probably be more akin to how the USA was split between the Germans and Japanese in Man in the High Castle. Rocky mtn states would be an autonomous zone, and maybe the south would be a country. Texas would take mexico as soon as they could too.


I assume you think the east coast would be right wing and the west cost left wing? Cuz you know California.


I think if such a thing were to occur, it would be beyond the current scope what constitutes being left or right wing in the USA right now.


The coasts would be Left wing, south would be Right, central may end up Libertarian.


Northern Mexico could join willingly if they got a good deal, they have a lot of connections with the southwest.


So like 5% OF CA's population?


Most of California isn't going to remain with California.


Kentucky and Tennessee are not ever going to be aligned with those damn Yankees lol


Hell, some of those states might even break apart


Everything east of the west coast would not stay with the coast Fucking Idaho under Chinese influence? Get fucking real


Arizona will literally be the first state to take up arms against California.


Much of California will take up arms against California.


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Tell me you don't know American culture, without telling me you don't know American culture. Because there is no way in Mormon Hell, that any self respecting Utah local will ever be under the controll of California.


There is no way in hell any self-respecting American will ever be under the control of California. Or Russia. Or China. Or Japan. Or the EU. Or Mexico.


Oh buddy, the far north would absolutely join the EU. Or rather the populace would support it while the people in charge instead tried to carve out their own fiefdoms.


Maybe Mass and NY the rest would go full IRA to that noise.


This is the dumbest map I've ever seen. Canadian influence? What influence? They're a buffer state between the US and Russia and the exact second we start to run out of water they'll be annexed in a bloodless war that will last 83 seconds.




We did it in Fallout in 2072.


I expect similar outcomes


Honestly, yah. Unironically, if we don’t get our shit together we will start facing serious problems. Not sure who vault-tec would be in the real world but their part is essential. After all, they launched the first nukes.


Canadia has had it far too good for far too long.


America taking away Canada’s healthcare would be the funniest thing that could possibly happen.


I could easily see most of Canada willingly becoming US states in the next few decades.


British Columbia and Quebec would probably fight back but the more conservative territories might join if they got a good deal. But overall I doubt Canada would ever become part of the states.


I don't think there'd be a fight. The US isn't about to forcibly annex Canada if they don't want to join us. We have respect for our northern neighbors and their wishes.


I meant that in a purely hypothetical scenario, I doubt that the US would ever try to annex Canada.


The only realistic scenario is a northern passage dispute devolving into hostile relations, a long shot but a possibility.


Alberta and Saskatchewan already want to leave


Based tankie


A Russian professors prediction: aka a drunk nuerodivergents wet dream while his own shit hole can’t even reach 60% literacy


Based and Russia can't read pilled


Better dead than well read


Mostly because there are places with different languages, this is a thing that happens when federation allows many languages to be taught in their lands.


But is that 60% literacy *in Russian* or in general? If it's 60% in Russian, fine, if it's 60% in general though you've got a serious problem on your hands.


60% is a made up bullshit. Russia has 99,7% [literacy rate](https://knoema.com/atlas/Russian-Federation/topics/Education/Literacy/Adult-literacy-rate#:~:text=Russian%20Federation%20%2D%20Adult%20(15%2B)%20literacy%20rate&text=In%202018%2C%20adult%20literacy%20rate,average%20annual%20rate%20of%200.59%25.)


Did you just change your flair, u/RussianComrade96? Last time I checked you were a **LibLeft** on 2022-8-11. How come now you are an **AuthCenter**? Have you perhaps shifted your ideals? Because that's cringe, you know? That being said... Based and fellow Auth pilled, welcome home. ^(I am a bot, my mission is to spot cringe flair changers. If you want to check another user's flair history write) **^(!flairs u/)** ^(in a comment. Have a look at my [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/flairchange_bot/comments/uf7kuy/bip_bop) and the [leaderboard](https://www.reddit.com/user/flairchange_bot/comments/uuhlu2/leaderboard).)


…along with being a shithole ruled by wildly corrupt and incompetent officials


Like thats a new thing across the world.


Why is whataboutism the only way one can defend Russia 😂


Because Russia is a shithole paper tiger run by an actual murderer and because tankies are nuerodivergent


Atleast our troops dont have paper in their plate carriers


You're basically describing every republic out there lol


It's old as shit. This was originally released in 1998 and here's a 12 year old [article](https://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2010/06/map-of-the-day-ex-kgb-analyst-predicts-balkanization-of-us/58945/) about the map.


Based and history pilled


Based and map of the day pilled


Hey don't ridicule us drunk neurodivergents, we can have the best and worst of ideas. But for us a maps like this is a joke. And I think this Russian professor is not kidding and is trying to use this is as a propaganda piece for Russia or to show how internally incoherent USA is.


What the hell their literacy is that low?


Russia’s history has been a constant battle of pulling itself into the future but never catching up.


If you think Russia had hard history, take a look at [this Black Balkan](https://sk.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kon%C5%BEsk%C3%A1_demokratick%C3%A1_republika)


It was true maybe a couple of centuries ago. The literacy rate in Russia has long been above 90 and even 99%


The one thing the Soviets were good at was improving literacy rates


How else could they read gulag tattoos?


By killing the illiterates?


I read that as the professors asshole had a 60% literacy rate


He made that the fuck up.


No, according to a quick google search it's 99.7%.


This is a parody to countless stupid "How Russia will be split" maps, all of them are completely stupid and baseless and it is obvious that authors don't know the fuck about Russia


We drunk neurodivergents don’t claim him.


Russia’s best bet is to continue to throw money into fringe political movements in the US to destabilize society. Problem is, this is a country of grillers and any civil war talk is by wheelchair symbol single men who want their niche extremist ideology to reign supreme. I say let’s dump them all in a field in New Mexico or Nebraska and let them Fortnite it out. Winners get yeeted into the ocean. I’m so sick of political extremists ruining shit for everybody.


Based and Fortnite-pilled


Woah woah woah, Texas and friends under Mexican influence??? Texas alone has double the GDP and production power of Mexico. I think the Russian that made this fails to understand how powerful america is compared to its neighbours… America can afford to elect useless taint after useless taint because it is so far ahead of Mexico it doesn’t matter and Canada has like 3 people living across 90 % of its land and the other 10 % isn’t big enough to be a threat.


Texas military also eclipses Mexico's. They couldn't occupy Texas even by force.


And thats not considering the amount of Yee Haw that will happen if they do.


Can confirm texes will yee haw


The number of hunters in Texas would comprise the world's largest standing army. So in a matchup of Texas v Mexico, the Mexican army would be the third largest army in Mexico.


Where's the rise of the Neo-Minutemen who channel the spirit of Revolutionary forefathers and free us once again from the imperial menace brought upon us by Winnie the pooh and the taco legions?


I've already got my AR and my black spray paint for writing WOLVERINES on every street corner.


Lol at Idaho and Utah joining that block. No way in hell.


This is just laughable. Mexico, a failed narcostate, is going to take over the south?


I read “Republic of Texas” and though: “Yeah, that makes sense. Texas would probably secede and take a bunch of states with it and just go off and form their own country.” Then I read that it was going to be controlled by Mexico. It’s like they don’t know a single thing about the US


They’ve been working for our demise and are talking about the spoils. Notice that their plans are post Civil War 2.0.


Or the south is going to take over Mexico. They do have similar cultures


Parts of Mexico are redneck paradise. Separated by language more than culture.


Facts south west kansas has a huge Hispanic cowboy culture we all get along just fine


Cowboys were originally Hispanic.


Not only that, but without the influence of DC holding it back, Texicana might as well invade Mexico and control everything down to and including the Panama Canal.


South is going to be bought by Cartels


Funny enough the area "under Canadian influence" has double Canada's population


Yip, Canada is going to ride down on moose and polar bears and annex 15 fucking states. I'm seeing the same delusional optimism they took into Ukraine.


Well they were kinda right about California and Hollywood selling their souls to Pooh bear.


Already have.


I'll smoke crack before I let my state come under Canadian control


The fact it is following state lines and is separated into quadrants is proof that who ever made this doesn't know shit.


This is like the dumbest take I've ever seen. It seems to be based entirely on geography with 0 understanding of culture


Is this what we did when we drew borders in Africa?


>Utah siding with California and being under Chinese influence > >Colorado siding with Montana and being under Canadian influence > >Kentucky siding with New York and being under EU influence > >The South agreeing to be under any influence and not being independent Glad to see Russian Professors are just as neurodivergent as American Professors. The difference is somehow American students agree to pay $50k a year to listen to their professors.


I went to university expecting my professors to be communist femboys according to reddit but all I got was regular ass school


Honestly it’s just right wing PCM cope that all college professors are evil brainwashers lol


That's because the brainwashing starts in Kindergarten, now.


Sure it does


Yup that's exactly right, it's so cringe. Seems like a lot of them simply haven't experienced what school is actually like and are just following the reactionary right wing media narrative


What a dumb bitch lol


Most of these would still be more powerful countries than most of our neighbors lol.


Not if we separate, our economy would crash due to how drastic of a change this is


Pretty sure Idaho and Utah won't tolerate that.


I don't see Kentucky joining the EU anytime soon... Why wouldn't most secessionist states, if any, strive for independence? Stupid map, poorly thought through.


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I like how the Midwest is apparently under the control of a country that has a lower population and probably a lower GDP. The south definitely has a higher GDP than Mexico and a comparable population. Dudes on crack.


South Carolina is auth left.... \-\_-


This person has never actually been to the United States


The Texas Republic is far more likely to annex Mexico than the other way around. I'm willing to bet money that the economy of the outlined states is twice as large as Mexico's.


A Russian professor? Opinion is meaningless.


Well- guess the Russians intellectuals are as out of touch as ours


Tell me you’ve never been to the U.S. without telling me you’ve never been to the U.S.


Worse than fanfiction


That is bullshit. Mexico can't even take care of itself (drug cartels) how would it able to influence a part of the USA? There is no way Canada could do anything either. East Coast can't join EU. It is called EUROPEAN union.


Pretty spectacular to to assume literally all of the US gets parted out to other countries


The mexico part is probably the most unlikely going with everything else. But I imagine that the Texas republic will be too racist to join Mexico and so would try to conquer Mexico. They have the guns, Mexico has the cartel army so...


You’re out of your god damn mind if you think Idaho is going to go with California


guess I should buy a little chunk of NM desert then...


Montana allowing Canada to annex them: doubt


Please for the love of god I don't care about Chinese imperialism I just don't want to be apart of California.


Why would China let Russia have Alaska if they already control the whole east coast??


No, please… anything but the EU


Move the Carolinas, Tennessee, and Arizona to the Texas Republic, Kentucky, Utah, and Idaho to the Central North-American Republic, and then you’ll have something.


I was gonna make a joke here but I don't even know where to start, honestly.


Atlantic america "may join the european union" Yeah but no, no way, never


Texas alone is stronger than Mexico let alone all of the south


seems a little easy to just divide a country and give each part to the nearest country... i could've made a better prediction when i was 10


What moron drew this map? Like there is actually no thought to these divisions.


Tennessee? Auth left? No way


I’m sorry but this supremely stupid.


This Russian professor has brain damage, evidently




Libleft utah and Idaho lol


EU, Canada, and Mexico wouldn’t try to take US but they would aid it. An invasion by Mexico would result in Mexico becoming a US territory. China wouldn’t be able to invade the continental US. Three park rangers would be enough to hold off what’s left of the Russian military.


I don't know which is funnier - Texas subjugating to Mexico or Canada accepting Ohio


Every single individual state on their own is stronger then Mexico in almost every conceivable way. The idea that any would be under Mexican influence is laughable, the southern states most of all.


wtf is this


Utah would never join with California. We should go hang with Texas


Canada ain’t takin’ shit.


Idaho with the commiefornians? lol


my favorite part is him actually thinking Mexico is going to take over a quarter of the US. Yes, the fierce Mexican army will surely secure this new border….just as soon as they get permission from the backwater drug cartels that have been kicking their asses for decades now


Right center strong together


Trying to exert influence over America from across the ocean is a fools errand, Russian drunk knows nothing especially not US geography which would ultimately be the dividing lines of any schism.


Mormons will re-establish the theocratic state of Deseret across the intermountain west


I'll be damned if ohio will be influenced by Canada much less be in the same faction as Michigan


I'll be cold in the ground before I am part of Canada.


Wait, Idaho/Ariz wouldn't want to go with California, Tenn & SC wouldn't want to be with New England, and Colo would be begging for the Californian's People's Democratic Republic.


Canadian Kansas


I think this guy copied a map I made when I was an edgy 13-year old first coming to awareness of geopolitics


This is a joke


I’ll be dead and buried in the cold, cold ground before I salute a goddammed tree leaf. I am American, I was born American, I was raised American. As was my mother, and her mother and father and their mothers and fathers and so on for the past two damned centuries. We know no flag save the one striped in the blood of our founders.


Texas going full circle, viva Tejas! In all honesty an influx of well-armed Texan vigilantes to Mexico would either help alleviate, or make the drug war down there into a desert Vietnam


Yeah if anything Texas would take Mexico. They can’t even defeat the criminals in their own country


He got one part correct. The west coast is pretty much already a part of China at this point


Fixed. https://i.imgur.com/EWLD0kb.jpg