T O P

My (vegan) daughter's go to pizza: tofu, black olives and mushrooms with olive oil and herb sauce on a whole wheat crust.

My (vegan) daughter's go to pizza: tofu, black olives and mushrooms with olive oil and herb sauce on a whole wheat crust.

QualityVote

Hi! This is our community moderation bot. --- If this post is a pizza crime , **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post is innocent, **DOWNVOTE** This comment! If this post breaks the rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and **REPORT** the post!


SexHaver420_69

Seems like more of a fancy open-faced sandwich at that point.


TeishAH

Ye pizza needs cheese or it’s just a big circular toast.


RadA380

I feel like sauce and cheese is the bare minimum. This is just flat bread.


Earls_Basement_Lolis

We need to work on a set of bare requirements for what makes a pizza. Everything from the ingredients used to cooking parameters.


Milelongcock

I make pizza for a living. If it doesn’t have sauce or cheese I refer to it as a flatbread. A pizza has these 3 ingredients: a sauce, a cheese, and a crust. Anything less isn’t pizza. Something with those 3 ingredients isn’t necessarily a pizza.


InvestigatorUnfair19

In Argentina we have a pizza called "pizza de cancha" that is pizza dough and sauce but no cheese. [wiki link](https://es.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_de_cancha) Edit: even though I am ok with no cheese what OP posted it awfull


EsteemedVegetable

> "Pizza de cancha" (Game field pizza). Only tomatoe suce and garlic, without cheese. Not mentioning the obvious olives seems very Argentine to me. I remember restaurant menus would leave out important ingredients. The waiter would tell you there was no meat in a dish. After a long wait (I guess a lot of places cooked from scratch or took their sweet-ass time) the dish would come and there would be ham in it. When asked why, they'd say it was "seasoning." When reminded that it's meat and that it wasn't supposed to have meat in it, they'd take the stew or whatever back to the kitchen for a few minutes, pick out the ham and bring it right back out. On another note, I could never get black olives on a pizza. Not even black greek olives. Only green. And they had pits. This was a long time ago though so maybe it's different now. Anyway, at least this pizza doesn't have surprise ham on it.


bearbarebere

Damn imagine if you were severely allergic to an ingredient and they just picked it out


InvestigatorUnfair19

For some reason black olives only on our fugazzeta pizza that is topped with onions, but every pizza comes with olives here. Also in the past 10 years restaurants have become more vegetarian friendly. When I was younger if it was not meat from a cow it was not considered meat by many. Lol


ZippyDan

Yes, twenty years ago vegetarianism was very much a first-world thing that most other countries and cultures didn't fully understand.


snowcrashedx

Bzzzt! India my dude. Most Indian food has always been mostly vegetarian, especially in the south. So much so they don't call dishes vegetarian, dishes with meat are called non-vegetarian


ZippyDan

"most other"


steveofthejungle

Not to mention Argentina eats the second most red meat per capita, behind only Uruguay


ZippyDan

Well, they are famous for their beef


drankhisbeer4nothing

The original canchera from Angelín is olive free And delicious and well worth trying if you find yourself anywhere nearby


madmaxturbator

Pizza marinara is one of the oldest styles of pizza, it is very traditional Neapolitan pizza, and it is cheese less (it is vegan - flour, tomatoes, garlic, oregano, EVOO). The people on here seem to assume that traditional pizza = Pizza Hut or papa John’s, which have a ton of cheese and toppings. I am more than happy to eat pizzas from both those places, I love pizza, I am not a snob. But also, we should acknowledge that lots of traditional pizzas, very popular pizza around the world, are in fact cheese less and vegan.


elijaaaaah

Seconded. This is an abomination, but it's due to no sauce, not no cheese


atomic223

I would be okay if it just had cheese, but no sauce, just some olive oil—some of my favorite pizzas ever just had garlic and olive oil instead of tomato sauce. I would be okay if it had no cheese but had some form of actual sauce. The lack of either makes this horrifying round tofu toast.


ddser123

Yes, pizza marinara is amazing. Lived off that and bruschetta when I went to Naples for a couple weeks. I think about it still…. So good


madmaxturbator

While I appreciate your perspective, your definition of pizza is non standard. You (like me) grew up eating pizzas with cheese so we assume pizza must have cheese. Pizza marinara is one of the oldest, most traditional pizzas, and it does not have any cheese: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_marinara Edit: and if we want to talk about “standards for pizza”, there already exists an organization for that. Based in Naples, Lol, not Reddit. Here’s what they have to say about traditional pizzas, and how to make them: https://www.pizzanapoletana.org/public/pdf/disciplinare%202008%20UK.pdf They have very specific definitions and instructions, including for a pizza marinara.


SamBellFromSarang

Sauce and crust is enough. Sauce must be tomato or applied the same way as the tomato sauce. The basic traditional one is just crust, sauce, and basil isnt it


DrocketX

Just for the sake of argument, though, does the sauce need to be tomato-based, and what exactly are the requirements for the cheese? Because according to the title, this... well, whatever it is, does have an olive oil and herb sauce of some kind (though it doesn't seem to be particularly visible in the picture), and tofu can be made into vegan cheese. If they had shredded the tofu so it looked more like normal pizza cheese, would that be sufficient?


ddawson100

I think this could have been executed much better. Crumble the tofu well and add oil and nutritional yeast and garlic and maybe more. Sliced button mushrooms and canned olives don’t work at all but sauté the mushrooms and stir into caramelized onions and just have good olives roughly chopped. This was just desperate ordering and lazy or uninspired pizza work.


Melia2005

That sounds really good, and you could even use a freshly made pesto as the sauce! I think I have to save your comment for a pizza making experiment later


avelineaurora

That olive oil and herb sauce is clearly just a drizzle, you can see the moisture zoomed in. I don't think a sauce needs to be tomato based though, because there's tons of great pizzas with white sauces and the like. Cheese... meh. The cheese lover in me wants to shun vegan cheese because it's a sin against nature, but I'll allow it.


Earls_Basement_Lolis

I would say that at a minimum, the sauce needs to be tomato-based but it can't be ketchup, nor can it be salsa. The requirements for cheese would be that it has to be a medium to soft dairy-based cheese that can melt. Basically, the minimum requirements for what would make a pizza would completely nullify pizza as a vegan dish.


Melia2005

What about white sauces? Lots of yummy pizzas with white sauces exist


pepskicola

Or I've had pizza with a puréed pumpkin sauce which was pretty good and gave a nice colour


vrphotosguy55

Yeah why is there no sauce? Sauce is easy to make vegan.


The00Taco

The cheese keeps the pizza together. All the toppings on this would just fall off when picked up


shartbike321

r/veganpizza


bobbyzee

Fancy?


I_Bin_Painting

Yeah, this isn't a crime as much as it is a food hack to get a nice vegetarian wholemeal flatbread out of a pizza joint. It looks and sounds pretty good tbh, it's just not a pizza.


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

today i was so depressed since i only have 1 hour of power a day and i have no running water, then i saw this pic and i now know, some things are more sad than my life.


menstrualfarts

do you need help


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

the whole country needs help, but thank u for asking.


BabyYodi

Where are you guy? Sorry to hear


madmaxturbator

I wonder if he’s from Lebanon considering his username is The Lebanese Unboxer… but then again , we should never EVER make guesses about people based on their usernames. Sometimes they may have made them up while fucked up and excited about a movie, not realizing that the username becomes their main online identity for like 6 years.


BabyYodi

Tbh, I didn’t even look at the user name aside from it being something somebody’s yelling lol


lethargy86

I can relate. When I was like 12 I made my first yahoo email account. It was a reference to a really dumb joke in Austin Powers. There is also a 69 in there. I also used it to make my Steam account, which has accumulated hundreds of games at this point. Back in those days, the email address you used to sign-up was the same as your username. Even though they eventually made it so that your login username has nothing to do with your profile name or even the email you set, Valve still won't let me change my actual login username to something less atrocious almost 20 years later. In fact I have long ago rid myself of that email address, so now it's just an arbitrary, vestigial string solely for the purposes of Steam's login. It nevertheless still serves the purposes of reminding me of my adolescent immaturity every time I log in. My last support ticket to try and change it, I was practically pleading with them. :( ​ edit: believe it or not I'm not posting my valuable Steam username on reddit, sorry


TheBopist

please tell me it’s penispumper69


lethargy86

Not quite that bad, lol


halfeclipsed

Youmakemerandy69


AIaris

dont leave us hanging, whats the name?


oJoface

!remindme 15 hours


jessiphia

POV: You just realized this guy's username


nlegendaryguy

Oh, maxturbator. You poor, poor human.


[deleted]

At least the movie was good tho


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

lebanon in the middle east


RPdope

I wish I could help man, this isue is all over the news


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

Thanks man, the thought is more than enough.


robeph

Thoughts alone are useless... without the hands 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 Now you have water and electricity. Facebook said this is how you do it.


Earls_Basement_Lolis

> i have no running water Weird, most of my water stays in place until I turn on a faucet or flush the toilet.


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

also forgot to mention that the fridge isn't running also.


Good_quality_OwO

that's good though. i mean, you wouldn't want you fridge running away right


Dr_fish

I dunno, it would be a good weight-loss motivator.


BennyVampire

what country do you live in?


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

lebanon in the middle east!


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

lebanon


comfort_bot_1962

Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


THELEBANESEUNBOXER

thank u, feeling better already


FranticDisembowel

This isn't a pizza crime because that god awful fucking thing isn't a pizza.


Flags_n_beer

that's what I tell her....but she insists! Hence the pizza crime.....technically 'fraud', i suppose.


beatenmeat

Why does your vegan daughter not use fucking tomato sauce if she’s making a “pizza”? I can at least understand cheese, but come on you can’t call it a pizza if 100% of the staple pizza ingredients are completely missing. That’s just a really shitty sandwich.


shartbike321

She needs to see r/veganpizza


KoeiNL

Yes, I'm not vegan or vegetarian but vegan food can be absolutely great.


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/veganpizza using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/veganpizza/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Made some garlic knot pies over the weekend for friends.](https://np.reddit.com/gallery/mfqld5) | [14 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/veganpizza/comments/mfqld5/made_some_garlic_knot_pies_over_the_weekend_for/) \#2: [I made this from scratch. The veggies from my community garden, sauce, dough, and cheese I all made myself.](https://i.redd.it/iei8ke7ydyr61.jpg) | [14 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/veganpizza/comments/mms1hy/i_made_this_from_scratch_the_veggies_from_my/) \#3: [Homemade vegan garlic knot crust pizza. All ingredients from scratch.](https://np.reddit.com/gallery/lrfau9) | [8 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/veganpizza/comments/lrfau9/homemade_vegan_garlic_knot_crust_pizza_all/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| [^^Contact ^^me](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| [^^Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| [^^Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/)


Different-Region-873

We have an identity crisis here.


Darth_Esealial

It can’t be a pizza if there’s no sauce or cheese!


[deleted]

the pizza place should start doing vegan cheese so that we don't have to see this


noyza2132

Does she know that tomato sauce is made of tomatoes?


Flags_n_beer

yeah, the olive is just a taste preference. In her pre-vegan days, she preferred 'white pizza'.


noyza2132

Oh ok. I was worried for a second


armin_arleg

You can make a killer vegan cream sauce! Just make a roux with oil (or vegan butter), add unsweetened nondairy milk of choice, and some vegan parm.


cheoffery

I've had some stunning pizzas with cashew crema, it's pretty easy to make too. It's late and I don't wanna look it up but it might even be raw if you care about that kinda thing The crema, not the pizza. The crema would preferably not be raw if you put it on a pizza and baked it. If it is your oven isn't working


Human_User_138

Am I crazy or is this not technically considered pizza? I believe pizza needs a dough layer of sorts, a sauce layer of sorts, and finally a cheesy layer of sorts. It doesn’t technically need to be pizza dough or real cheese, but it needs to imitate a sauce layer… which this flat bread concoction does not. So I can not call this pizza…. However this is 100% a crime.


noyza2132

The definition of pizza is very cloudy. Some people say it needs to have tomato sauce and cheese, others say its just a flatbread.


TenderfootGungi

If you go to Italy, you can buy all kinds of pizza without tomato sauce. But probably not tofu.


voidworship

It might not taste horrible but it looks dry as all hell


exlawyer-link

I’m sure your vegan daughter is nice, but her taste in pizza is… questionable, at best.


yell0wbirddd

Someone needs to introduce her to Miyoko's shreds


Flags_n_beer

this is take out, but i will let her know about Miyoko's shreds


mrjibblets138

I work in a vegan restaurant and we sell wood fired pizza. I strongly suggest “vio life mozzarella” it’s not great cold, but once it’s melted it’s pretty incredible. We tried a ton of brands and it’s what worked for us!


FirstPost10-18-2030

That stuff is legit the best fake cheese out there


madmaxturbator

I’m pretty much vegan (I occasionally eat dairy in Indian food made by mom and grandma). So I support your daughters choice fully! If she genuinely enjoys this, great! She should keep at it. But if she’s just forcing this sort of food because she wants to be a strict vegan, I’d recommend she branch out. There is a lot of tremendously delicious vegan stuff out there - that isn’t fake meat or fake dairy! Hell, you can even have some amazing, simple, traditional pizzas without any cheese. For example, a pizza marinara is incredible so long as you have a good crust and good sauce: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_marinara I often skip the vegan cheese stuff,personally it’s not jam (I have had miyokos and all the rest). But she could consider it too, I am only suggesting this because a lot of my friends “go vegan” but after a short while they switch back saying it sucks to be vegan, the food is so boring. But that’s because people assume vegan = only healthy stuff. Nah! Enjoy your food. You can get fat as hell if you so wish lol. We’re just avoid the animal products.


shartbike321

Pretty much. Check r/veganpizza (I linked some cheese recipes on my pizzas posted there )


OG-Dropbox

I buy the chao cheese slices, cut them into shreds, spread on top and bake at like 200 for until it's melty enough


JakariaYT

Is that your favorite vegan mozzarella?


shartbike321

https://schoolnightvegan.com/home/super-cheesy-vegan-mozzarella/. The best


SpectreAlenko

Or daiya. Even Chao shreds would work, though they’re not as mozzarella-y.


sepiriath

daiya tastes like ants


FirstPost10-18-2030

I like violife


AkariBocchi

it looks very sad...


comfort_bot_1962

Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


Kozlow

What herb sauce?


Flags_n_beer

It's from a local vegetarian/ vegan friendly place, the herbs are 'undefined'


Kozlow

I meant, it looks to be missing.


etnad024

Vegan friendly pizza place that doesn't have vegan cheese?


Flags_n_beer

"friendly" but not dedicated vegan.


JOWWLLL

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!


shnnrr

THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CRUST COMPELS YOU!


YoSammitySam666

Listen, I’m vegan and my pizza looks like [this](https://imgur.com/a/FozUelG). There’s no excuse for what your daughter has done.


Spambop

The daughter must be sacrificed


nouonouon

brick ovens only


Different-Region-873

Surely more better than that one!


BeyondDoggyHorror

Why does your pizza have a cancer tumor?


YoSammitySam666

Didn’t roll it out well. That’s my bad hahaha


Ask_me_about_my_cult

This one looks way worse lol


avelineaurora

I'm sorry. It still looks better than OP but that thing is still an abomination. No cheese should be looking like that, it looks like crispy fried noodles piled on top or something.


shartbike321

Agreed, he should check out r/veganpizza


ParadoxicalArmadillo

What the fuck is mushroom bacon


babayfish

That looks dry as a nun’s nasty


chikkyone

For all this, just heat up some parchment paper and eat that instead.


BingoSpong

Yeah …..nah


mrpeepeetoucher

So it’s just toast with extra steps


hellolamps

THAT IS NOT PIZZA!!! Police!


JubeeD

I’m vegan and I wouldn’t eat that. Arrest her.


Nikkivegas1

Crime!!!!☠️


Alazteir

So cardboard with garbage?


VenusHalley

I don't see any sauce on that thing,,,,,,


rodoxide

Why even eat pizza at this point????


SlackJawGrunt

This is not pizza.


TSAngels1993

Flatbread.


hypnosiix

Identity fraud at its finest


Shhhdonttell15

That’s sad


comfort_bot_1962

Don't be sad. Here's a [hug!](https://media.giphy.com/media/3M4NpbLCTxBqU/giphy.gif)


PurpleAsh808

Kill it before it lays eggs!!!!


mineyoursmine

She’s just a child...


Kinectgang

As a vegan pizza enjoyer, that is a sin.


mozzarellastixx86

This is not a pizza.


TR6lover

agreed


YeahIMine

This is just 4 hors d'oeuvres stacked together


angryundead

I thought the whole pizza was one big ass mushroom and almost ralphed.


Pyramid_Head1967

Turn her in and get that monster off the streets. I'm seriously appalled at this.


gingerly_said

There are much better toppings, even for vegans. Tell her life doesn't have to be like this.


AirSignGuy829

There is nothing 'pizza' about that abomination.


chocolate_spaghetti

Tomato Sauce is vegan though. There’s no excuse for this monstrosity


exorcized

That ain’t worth a damn.


avelineaurora

What the fuck.


Weight_Master

Shameful


MMic21

I'm so sorry to hear this.


hunky_junkie

Put her up for adoption. Regroup. Move on.


rollingstone71

That ain't pizza.


dopamini

That isn’t pizza, that is just a huge flour tortilla with toppings.


Drakeytown

I'm not sure that's even a pizza


BoSocks91

Bullshit pizza


boohoopooryou

Get tofu out of here


ice_prince

This is not a crime. It’s an abomination.


StrangeGerm

It just looks horrible


Usual_Pair3138

That's not a pizza that's a shitty cracker


tedbradly

Is tomato sauce not vegan ?


Bikefry666

Well you would think.... but she used olive oil... and tbh with tofu mush and olive, I think that’s better than tomato sauce


Eastman84

That's her, officer.


nouonouon

this is a war crime.


RaevynReaper

That’s not a pizza, that is the forsaken flatbread.


Clutteredmind275

What’s wrong with marinara???


sheezy520

This “pizza” makes me depressed.


JaredLiwet

Where's the cheese? This isn't a pizza, ~~it's a melt~~; it's some type of unfolded sandwich.


yourteam

So bread with something on it... Why not tomato sauce?


matorin57

Why no tomato sauce ??


icuntcur

i think the whole wheat crust is by far the most offensive thing here


jmunrrooo

The box is the most appetising thing in this photo


BirtSampson

To each their own but you could still do tomato/basil/veggies/etc and make a pretty decent vegan pizza.. a lot of strong choices are being made here lol


liabilityinred

There are some delicious vegan pizzas out there. This is not one of them.


smoothtaste

Don’t call this pizza. I don’t want to see this shit ever again in my life.


patio_blast

looks pretty similar to what i ate as a vegan as well. warm tomatoes are disgusting so i don't like marinara either lol. i'm guessing they're already familiar with Daiya's cheese that works pretty good on pizza. anyways, kudos to them for sticking go their guns when others are surely making fun of them.


Spambop

Warm tomatoes are disgusting? Are you high?


Educational-Painting

The crust look like one big mushroom cap. I bet it tastes like literal dirt. Only you paid like 40$ for processed dirt. To be fair, I’m sure dirt is very healthy.


nevertoolate1983

What in the…?! Why even have a pizza at this point?


Bikefry666

Because clearly, Dad wanted pizza...


nick458surfs

I’m a vegan who makes pizza twice a week and I’m here to say this is a pizza crime!! Vegan pizza has no reason to be gross like this!


mastermartian1

what kind of herb sauce this info is crucial


TradeInteresting2798

I agree!


Creed_is_the_best

fucking vegans


AltruisticSalamander

That looks great to me but yeah it's not a pizza


IcedDoughnuts

Im vegan and I don’t understand how someone intentionally orders this.


TeamlyJoe

My mom uses to make curry pizza it was good. She uses a sweet curry sauce


Squiddle-McDiddle

Disown her.


Boristhespaceman

My vegan friend hates frozen vegan pizzas because they never have cheese on them. So he has to buy vegan cheese separately to put on it.


Lord_Armadyl

Good thing you haven’t seen the diary free alternative cheeses I’ve seen on “pizza”.


No-Comedian-4499

Damn, at least put some nut cheese on it.


Kirkambrose

Ngl, I'd love to try it out it wasn't so dry.


ilivetomosh

That sounds great?


JadeSpade23

She should make tofu ricotta and spread that on the crust. Then drizzle with olive oil or vegan pesto.


Twostepjohnny

waste of money


mineyoursmine

Wrong sub, I think you meant r/howtokillmykid


rjwilliams1966

Yum! Cardboard with large diced soy protein. Can’t wait to try it!


Aschentei

I’m pretty sure that’s drier than the Sahara Can you un-vegan your daughter?


pinokun

Vegetarians trying to stay fit, skip the meat. The diet is neat, no strict regime, I got more energy than a whole fleet. Veganism; don’t be confused, it’s a whole movement. It’s okay to drink milk? Fact? Nah, that’s fraud of inducement. I love the animals, please care, but I still need suppliment from them. Just want dairy, maybe eggs fresh, but if you hurt the chickies it’ll be may-hem. My vegans, no need to be mad at the meat prancers. Because you have lower risk of heart disease; protection from certain cancers. Diversity is the key or self-destruction is a certainty. Gotta live cheerfully and with courtesy. Agree to disagree, but let’s live in harmony. *Enjoy your pizzas how you want, homies


Reisp

Your prose reads like a Dr Bronner's label! (that's a complement, in case you're not sure).


Earls_Basement_Lolis

I'm a somewhat convinced that people have metabolisms differentiated by the types of foods they feel better with after eating. For instance, I feel good after I eat a low-carb meal with decent amounts of animal protein but my energy just eats shit after I eat a meal chock full of carbs. Vegans or vegetarians must live on the other side of the spectrum eating like rabbits like mostly plant-based stuff and low fat/protein stuff where stocky meals kill their energy.


No-Tax3735

That is an over sized thick tostada


NameOfNoSignificance

r/Shittyfoodporn


Nawrly17

Tomato sauce is vegan????? Wtf is this?!


Representative_Row44

Uhhhh no thanks


lizardfacemagee

I feel like I can't upvote this at 666


SusanRose33

This is it. This is the worst one for me.