Is it shameful to raise kids in an apartment for their life?

Is it shameful to raise kids in an apartment for their life?


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Of course not.


People who grew up in New York City or other major cities seem fine for the most part. It’s really not about the “house” you raise your kid in but rather the “home” you make of it. There are plenty of people who grew up in mansions who have lots of trauma and issues as adults. Just like there are plenty of happy, successful and competent adults who grew up in tiny apartments. Do what’s best for your family.


Kids do fine in a pretty wide range of living arrangements. There are advantages of an apartment, particularly if it means living closer to a city relative to having a house in a further out suburb. You get all the kid and family events and opportunities that come with being closer to museums, larger libraries, local parks, and community centers and the like and as kids get older and become teenagers there's places and opportunities for them to start to explore more independently (particularly if you're blessed with decent public transit).


Not shamefully at all. I am an apartment raised kid, and not being pompous but I am doing well in life. I am about to be a parent in 4 weeks but I think the upbringing matters the most and not the type of place. I thank my parents for making me have a solid foundation of values ! You’ll be fine 😀


What was it like being raised in an apartment? Did you get jealous of kids with big yards etc?


I swear, I never felt odd or anything like it. I really mean it. I never noticed it, sure sometimes during birthday parties but then again nothing to make me continue to think about it


Absolutely not.


Shameful? No way! Kids grow well from parenting and experiences, not where they lay their head at night. I was raised in an affluent area as a child, with a massive yard, trees to climb, neighbours to play with, and it sure did not make me a better person, or exclude me from life throwing it’s fair or unfair amount of shit at me.


I grew up in an apartment until I was 9 and we moved to the suburbs. I loved apartment living.


Can you tell me the pros of living in an apartment?


I liked being so close to all of my friends. Not having to get dropped off at friends houses. I could just wake up, go down to the next floor, and meet up with my friends.


There are so many kids that grow up in big cities and never have the opportunity to live in a house. If it helps, I live in the suburbs and a few of my neighbors and their kids are real buttfaces...😜


Why would it be? It's just an apartment. Bad people have all kinds of backgrounds- location/friends have more impact on ending up in bad circles than just living in an apartment does. I've only ever lived in apartments, and still do with my 4yo son. It's not some terrible thing.


We grew up in a townhouse with a tiny yard and I felt embarrassed because the kids around me all had houses and their own bedrooms (I had to share). My parents also lost everything and we had to live in apartments later. What I realized is, the thing that made it feel awful was my parents kept the house so cluttered and never encouraged us to have friends over (no sleepovers or even visits with friends because the house was a mess or whatever). I think it would have made a huge difference if they kept our homes nicer and encouraged us to invite friends over. You can do so many things to make an apartment nice, like hang cool art (thrifted, cheap prints or even original art), have plants on a balcony or if there isn’t one, indoor plants. Even the way you decorate like a bright yellow or blue couch or beanbags. I think it makes all the difference in how you care for your place. Make it fun and pretty and inviting and cozy. Check out the website [Apartment Therapy](https://www.apartmenttherapy.com) for ideas. Don’t be ashamed of your apartment, embrace it and be proud of your home as much as you can. If you model that your kids will be happy there too.


Just to add to the choir: don’t worry about it. It’s not shameful. It’s just different. It’s cultural. A New Yorker may say life with a big yard outside the bustle of the city is unfulfilling just as much as a suburbanite may think not having a yard is crazy. There are pros and cons of both. There are pros and cons of living any place over another. But there isn’t an absolute right or wrong answer.


I was raised in single-family detached homes and while I miss the private outdoor play space (we live in a condo and own the garden, but it’s small and not great for running), but otherwise it’s great, and my son doesn’t lack for outdoor play opportunities. My husband was raised in apartments, which is pretty normal where he is from, even for the wealthy. The American suburban lifestyle (single-family detached homes on good-sized lots, little to no mixed-use zoning, reliance on cars etc.) is *not* how most of the world lives and people do great.


As somebody raising kids, who started out living in apartments but moved a couple hours out of the city to buy a home, I can share some of what I see/saw (hah) as advantages and disadvantages. For me, primarily, it comes down to family size. With a single child, I’d much prefer an urban apartment. And I grew up super rural. Preferring the city, especially for raising a kid, is something I never thought I’d say. Access to things like the zoo, aquarium, kids museum, and big parks with crazy fun equipment. And when you’re just going out with a single kid, those things are a lot more manageable and fun. Plus just the simplicity of living in an apartment. It’s way less mental load. But with three kids, two cats, and a big dog, apartment living becomes an obstacle. There’s stress about making too much noise (because you will make too much noise,) or the neighbors wake the kids up with their noise. That’s a whole different level of frustration. Something as simple as taking the kids out to play requires a whole survival kit, and the joy of the zoo and aquarium becomes a nightmare. It’s harder to keep friends nearby, too, just on account of the nature of apartment living. Lotta people move in a while and then are off somewhere else. So while a house is a lot more mental load as far as the operation of the actual home, it takes away a lot of the load as far as having a bigger family. Put the kids outside with the dog. Invite their friends over for simultaneous sleepovers, there’s room for everyone. The zoo and aquarium are conveniently too far away for regular visits now, and the parks aren’t really that much more fun than your own back yard.