T O P
heelek

It is a major pain but I try to think of my POTS as an a-hole filter, our search for partners is definitely longer because of that but I'd like to believe it helps to preselect higher quality people


Vivid_Class1295

Lmaooo I like that. It’s so long and I’m so impatient. I’m a good patient who’s very impatient


MCASPOTShEDS

I make my husband do a pre-interview with them first.


twotoots

I'd recommend looking into the topic of internalised ableism. You're not worth less than anyone else because you have a disability - you have valuable perspectives on the world that others don't have. Decent, reasonable people will find that to be a positive and attractive thing. You won't be dating ableist bigoted people who have problems with disability, sure, but those people are probably not the kind of people you'd want to connect with anyway. This gets easier when you see yourself and your experiences as having value and recognise it's not a failing to have a particular kind of body, it's just part of human variation. Anyone who has a problem with that isn't a good person!


Vivid_Class1295

I definitely look at my disability as a positive because I think it has made me very understanding in a very judgmental world. Thank you !


dazaidaddy

i lost a boyfriend(ex) because of pots. he cheated and blamed it on my pots. lol. honestly, i think that people who truly love you wouldn’t not date/talk to you just because of an illness you can’t control. and someone who truly loves you wouldn’t let that get in between your relationship. in my opinion and from my pov, i try to stay away from people who underestimate/dismiss the illness. people who support and actually want to learn more about it are always a green flag to me.


Vivid_Class1295

That’s awful I’m so sorry:/ I definitely totally agree with you. Thank you for that ❤️


dazaidaddy

<3


kcguillory

I don’t have any advice, but I’m with you on this. I have the same thoughts and feelings, you’re not alone


MiniMsB

Taking a wider perspective, POTS and EDS are a part of your life but they do not define who you are. Whilst some days / weeks / months they really do get in the way of doing what you want to do, they can’t take away your passions, values, experiences and interests and hopefully these are the things that allow you to connect with others. I’d be the first to admit I let my POTS define me for a few years after diagnosis. It cost me friends. I did and we can work on our own feelings on this. There is only a limited amount of things we can do to change ‘society’ and dating as a whole. When dating I found being open about this at the start was helpful. Including little helpful suggestions like ‘my POTS means I really don’t do well in hot bars, so how about we go to a quieter cafe with air con to meet up’. I’ve heard a lot of conflicting views on using self deprecating humour when explaining disabilities. Saying ‘my cardiologist described me as a professional fainter’ seemed to go well. However, there is always the risk of putting yourself down too much using this.


Vivid_Class1295

Lmaoo I’m stealing the “professional fainter” line. That’s right on my humor level. I really appreciate your words 🥺


moonlitjasper

my partner is disabled too (t1 diabetic). i think having that experience makes them understand me a lot more, even if our health issues are very different. we both fully support each other when we’re having difficult days and it’s wonderful


esquishesque

My partner also has T1D! And I totally agree, we get each other on a level that most people don't


Vivid_Class1295

That’s literally why I prefer people who have at least one medical condition because I just feel it makes you way more understanding lol. That’s amazing!


Key_Jeweler_3835

I had a man end things because my health was too stressful for HIM (seriously?) and I currently have a man who researches this condition to understand it better. He even recently said ‘I’m going to look up how to handle you fainting if it ever happens, I want to be there for you and prepared’ so if you find someone who doesn’t want to handle you and your condition, do you really want them anyway? I sure wouldn’t. I see them as weak.


Vivid_Class1295

To have someone in my life who actually researches and wants to learn >> very jealous of that. I couldn’t agree more. Thank you