T O P

This is painfully accurate

This is painfully accurate

QualityVote

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teapot_on_reddit

YTA. Jeez, give your bf some privacy


Frenchticklers

YTA for helping those women escape the basement. You don't know his side of the story.


RAGING_VEGETARIAN

YTA his basement, his rules


Supernova008

YTA for being on reddit three hours before your wedding


OhJeezNotThisGuy

This. RED FLAG!


bikedaybaby

They definitely dead. OP’s TA for thinking about this 3hrs before the wedding. I wish I had a hubby who loved me enough to pick me to marry over his other victims. She should be happy.


GrungyGrandPappy

Well they wanted it. Just look at those shredded clothes it’s almost like someone took a hunting knife to them. /s


celtic_thistle

YTA, HoW DoEs hE KnOw tHaT'S NoT OkAy iF YoU DoN'T TeLL HiM?


Poltras

Can confirm. Why did you have to open Bluebeard’s office? It’s his shelves full of his exes hearts, not yours! Totally misunderstood.


vaccinesdid911

Inaccurate. That sub is full of posts that ask for validation and most posts are filled with NTA comments. It’s like “I saved a little kid with cancer from a gang of rapists, but my mom says I overstepped my boundaries. Am I the asshole?”


Vlad-V2-Vladimir

No, absolutely not. You shouldn’t judge a man for his hobbies, even if that includes collecting drivers licenses that happen to be from missing women.


ChibiSailorMercury

Have you sat him down to talk to him about your snooping habits? Relationships that are successful rely on communication and honesty. You have to meet him half way and not be such controlling, naggy *w*itch.


OMGitsJoeMG

I bet couples therapy would help!


_maude_lebowski_

Therapy therapy therapy! But make sure your spouse, who is clearly an abuser because he spends 19 hours a day gaming, doesn't gaslight your therapist.


aoechamp

Please, that sub has such a female bias. It’s more like: > I killed my BF’s pet fish because it annoyed me and then he yelled at me > That’s a huge red flag. It’s not your fault, he’s gaslighting you. 100% of abusers start out by yelling at their partners. Dump him immediately and call the police.


lessilina394

No no it’s more like >>Me and my SO are having some very common relationship problems, what should I do? >>Divorce them.


johnsnowthrow

On reddit, everything is gaslighting, gatekeeping, and narcissism. Almost no one understands social cues, facts, or how to have a normal conversation. It's no wonder the advice is always shite.


aoechamp

Yeah that’s the funniest part. Getting social advice from a redditor is like getting career advice from an inmate. The support group subs are even worse. Literally the blind leading the blind.


fiercepusheenicorn

To me it’s more like… people who have been abused by narcs etc tend to go online for support because it’s free and there’s lots of survivors to talk to. Then the recovery from the resulting PTSD/CPTSD starts and that makes you aware of being black and white in thinking. Then you realize everything in your life was a puppet show and a lie. So you project that reality outwards because you still don’t know what normal is. So arguing about something like the dishwasher gets blown out of proportion in their head and they project out because they don’t understand a spouse yelling at the other about the dishwasher is likely an overreaction but it isn’t abusive and paints them as an abuser in their mind because their abusive partner or former abusive partner would do those things to them intentionally to fuck with them. And normal people understand accidents or lashing out when hungry or tired talk about it and hug it out and it’s over. That’s a healthy relationship. But in a narc relationship it’s you did that intentionally to fuck with me because I had said or done a thing earlier or told you an insecurity or personal thing and you’re using it against me. Everything has a message. There are no intentional psychological fuck you messages in normal interactions.


ChadMcRad

My favorite are the ones that just feel like bait. "My [17F] boyfriend [68 M] told me that I'll die if I don't have sex with him. I'm not a doctor but this doesn't seem right? I don't know, I just want to do the right thing..." Commenters: "Oh honey, my sweet darling chile, it's okay. That evil shitmale is clearly gaslighting you. It's tough because we're just SO perfect and kind that we don't want to hurt anyone, I understand. Take your angel wings and fly away."


Swifty6

a thread jumped to frontpage telling to girl to dump her bf for not buying her a gift she asked for. wtf is wrong with that place?


MajorMondo

Literally any form of verbal abuse or manipulation is gaslighting.


aoechamp

I can’t tell if you’re joking or serious


MajorMondo

I'm joking, but that's what people seem to think when they call things gaslighting


forestman11

This is the accurate one. Don't know what sub everyone else is going on.


haversacc

Lmao I can't imagine how deluded you'd have to be to look at any part of mainstream reddit and see a "female bias." More like any time women aren't getting belittled it makes you angry


FireHazard11

Reddit isn't a monolith. There are absolutely subreddit that are biased towards women. Or are you going to say that FDS isn't biased?


ItsInTheVault

FDS is not mainstream Reddit. r/Relationships etc. are mainstream.


celtic_thistle

FDS is biased towards women, yes. The other subs are cesspools of misogyny.


blackhodown

I like how you just proved his point


Samwise777

Factually this site is heavily white male biased.


wadoshnab

Users of subs like /r/relationshipadvice and /r/amitheasshole are overwhelmingly young women. They actually polled their users and that was the result. This also explains the bias.


blackhodown

No, it is factually mostly white males. Which is not the same thing as being white male biased.


Rak-CheekClapper

The sub is fun for creative writing exercises. I've posted several fake stories where I just change a couple details to see the reaction. I've predicted with 100% accuracy so far.


Lissy_Wolfe

People like you ruin those subs for everyone else. That sub is for relationship advice, not your creative writing practice. People often get very worried by abusive stories on that sub and try to help. You're just fucking with people's emotions for "fun" while also desensitizing them so that they are less likely to reach out to help when there is a real live victim who needs it.


wadoshnab

To be fair the advice is consistently terrible. It might be better if the advisers spend their time "helping" fake people instead of making real problems worse.


Lissy_Wolfe

It's not "consistently terrible." I don't always agree with it, but usually the first or second most upvoted comment on popular posts has reasonable advice. And sometimes the people there have been able to raise funds or otherwise help someone who is genuinely in need. Even if that weren't the case, it's a huge dick move to manipulate people by using an advice forum for your "creative writing." There are plenty of other outlets for that.


Rak-CheekClapper

Yeah but it's so amusing how predictable people are and if you follow their outrage patterns you can craft a perfect story


Proper-Prize7651

I’m currently in the process of getting downvoted into oblivion from telling a stay at home gf (no kids) that housework doesn’t take anywhere close to the amount of time as a full time job. Duties are: Cooking Cleaning Grocery Laundry Dog For clarity: here is the comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/ppb6v2/im_not_attracted_to_my_fianc%C3%A9_in_the_same_way/hd31cu8/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


determania

I looked at the thread you are talking about and it says she is upset that he expects her to do the same amount of chores as when she was a stay at home gf now that she is working. So maybe the downvotes are because you misunderstood the post?


Proper-Prize7651

Well the downvotes are on a comment of me asking questions about the situation which she ignored.. Those chores she listed if were really being honest here do not warrant a free pass rent free and take probably like 10-15 hours a week if we’re being generous..and it makes perfect sense to me if they are struggling finically and want a baby for her husband to ask her to get a part time job and stack up some extra money in prep for that. Even with a part time job (which she didn’t tell us how many hours she’ll be working or how many he works) and those chores it wouldn’t equal a full time job. Again I’m assuming husband works 40+ hours a week, but we don’t know cause she ignored the questions.


determania

So, you weren’t being 100% truthful when you said that you were being downvoted for saying a stay at home gf should be ok doing the housework. You were aware she had a job.


UncleTogie

Depends on the size of the house.


Proper-Prize7651

I asked the size of the home, how many hours he works a week, how long she has been a stay at home gf and not working…etc..All unanswered and she just replied saying to read her responsibilities she commented elsewrre which I found and they are as I said: cooking,cleaning,grocery,laundry,dog.. post is now locked. Idk about you but I could handle all of that in a 5 bedroom house with a back house in 20 hours or less without coffee.


Proper-Prize7651

Allow yourself 2 1/2 hours a week to clean a two-bedroom home. You should also add an extra 1 hour a week when you decide to deep clean. 3 Bedroom 2 Bath Home: If you have a typical three-bedroom home or apartment, you can expect to spend about three hours a week on basic cleaning.


borgchupacabras

Unless she's hand washing clothes I don't see why that would take a lot of time...


QuarantineSucksALot

This guy don't wanna battle, he shook


celtic_thistle

Or, maybe women put up with a lot more from men before acknowledging there might be a problem. And by the time they get to asking AITA things have gotten insane.


stra1ght_c1rcle

That's such a weird sub,I only go there because some of the stories are just so juicy


Revenant221

Theyre like adult pokemon cards: only one of each card which makes them extremely valuable and theyre even more fun to trade!


[deleted]

I wouldn't be too shocked if that was trying to say my boyfriend's boyfriend.


PeopleCalmDownPlease

“NO KINK SHAMING REEEEE!”


JohnnieKerr61

But NO stairway to heaven


Gilan_

fine, hell is really more cool


AndrewFGleich

Geez Leslie, it's not that hard to understand


Done327

Lol it’s either that or “I just saved 3 disabled children from a burning building and gave them my savings so they wouldn’t die of starvation. But my daughter really wanted a designer pair of jeans. AITA?


censorkip

“AITA for kicking my sister out after she burned my house down and murdered my neighbors?”


vincenta2

YTA, it’s not her fault your neighbours are arseholes and your house is flammable.


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censorkip

TIFU by having sexy sex and breaking my sex parts/getting caught while sexing


Matt-Mesa

Yeah had to leave that sub a good while ago. It’s so ridiculous.


papino83

YTA, Her neighbors, her house, her rules!


wadoshnab

Don't forget: Relationship advice: my (25F) husband's (27M) dad (56M) didn't say hi when I passed by him in the street the other day. It's possible he didn't see me but I don't think so. I haven't mentioned it to my husband but he could have guessed, and he won't do anything about it. Also we have 3 kids. Top response: You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Divorce the husband, sell off the kids, hire someone to kill the dad, cut off all contact with your own side of the family too and quit your job, you're better off alone queen


uberdosage

Nah the age gap isnt big enough. For some reason its always 25(F) 56(M)


akatherder

My absolute favorite is when there's a conflict between a woman and her daughter, mom, sister, etc. 99% of the time "Husband/father is the a-hole here. He should be taking a stance and it shouldn't have gotten this far."


count-the-days

Sometimes I think that people take a genuine good thing they did and then make up the “my family and friends are mad” just to post it and get praise. It always seems so tacked on at the end. Like 4 paragraphs of how they supported their wife while she did like a traithalon with no legs and then right at the end “my brother is mad because I said I’d go to lunch with him at the same time but I didn’t. AITA?”


FabriFibra87

...anyone else just discover this subreddit and get really excited about it? Like holy shit if I see another WhitePeopleTwitter/BlackPeopleTwitter/WhateverPeopleTwitter trending on r/all with the *exact same political crap as always* and nothing to do with just fun twitter content, imma lose it.


Spite-Funny

Welcome. Please don't ruin this place.


FabriFibra87

Thanks! Sounds like a plan.


GotWerewolf

peopletwitter ruined twitter subs entirely for me until this one. Finally, a twitter sub I don't need to take a picture of my skin color like racism is a good thing just to fucking comment.


magispitt

I might be off base but I think that’s just black people Twitter, in white people Twitter I don’t think one needs identification


GotWerewolf

You're on base, I just didn't want to call it out specifically but I think race based twitter subs are kind of a dumb premise to begin with


_Nohbdy_

Yeah, I just want to laugh at dumb internet crap and not care about whatever useless drama is going on at any particular time.


akatherder

I immediately downvote any subreddit that can get to the frontpage of /r/all but won't let everyone participate in the comments.


moveslikejaguar

I just block them so I don't have to see them


mynameisseanm

YOU CAN BLOCK SUBREDDITS????


moveslikejaguar

I can on the RIF is Fun app, not sure about other apps or desktop


bigbrownbanjo

They used to be so funny too now they’re literally just like /r/reductivebuttrueleftistSpamTweets


TheDankestReGrowaway

I'm amazed by /r/politicalhumor where they figured out the political part but left out the humor part.


pingleawkwin1

It won't last. They will come 😔


[deleted]

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FabriFibra87

if we're paranoid about other people wrecking it, I'm happy to delete this comment / not call attention to it.


LoserOfAllTrade

\*call out a girl on Reddit\* Everyone: "Incel loser" \*praise a girl on Reddit\* Everyone: "lol what a simp"


koranuso

The key is the simply not respond whenever a woman says anything or even acknowledge they exist. Now that i think about it, i wonder what the internet would look like if each gender was locked to their own specific version and no communication between the groups was possible. Just online though, the genders could of course communicate in the real world.


KOMRADE_ANDREY

Thats actually kind of the key. Treat them like any other person and don't make light of them being a lady. There's a reason rule 30 exists


koranuso

I am unfamiliar with rule 30 or rules 3-29. I know the first two rules and rule 34 though.


KOMRADE_ANDREY

Rule 30: there are no girls on the internet. The idea (of several) behind the rule is that on an anonymous forum, especially one which is a majority male, there is no particular reason for one to let anyone know they're of the opposite sex, unless they want attention


koranuso

Ahhh, yes I have always assumed that everyone on the internet is a fat bald 50 year old dude. ESPECIALLY the ones that say they are girls.


KOMRADE_ANDREY

Why make a point to let others know you're a girl on an anonymous forum then?


koranuso

You tell me. People are weird mysterious things.


KOMRADE_ANDREY

I mean I asked the question. If you're disagreeing you must clearly have a reason


koranuso

When asked a question, agree or disagree are not the only two possibilities. Isn't it also possible that I might have no idea? As I stated, people are weird mysterious things.


Samwise777

If everyone pretended to be male tho, that would just prevent discussion of feminine topics. Idk.


KOMRADE_ANDREY

That is the exception, not the rule


billywillyepic

That’s how I work


Brtsasqa

/r/gonewild would probably be much less popular.


flargenhargen

https://www.whitepages.com/name/Wang


Rak-CheekClapper

"I'm a prostitute" SEX WORK IS REAL WORK AND YOU ARE A QUEEN "I've been depressed since my wife left me so I hired a prostitute" LOL WHAT A LOSER


killertapir

That's not the case really. I saw a post the other day about a woman asking if her boyfriend only having been with sex workers was cause for concern. And the majority of comments were pretty much on the side that it wasn't as long as he's stopped. Idk, I think people have a cartoonist view of relationship advice subs that isn't always accurate.


xxpen15mightierxx

I literally just saw someone yesterday, a college professor I guess, talk about getting prostitutes. Nobody cared, they were more curious as to his ethical process of making sure none of the escorts turned out to be his students.


Rak-CheekClapper

I don't sub to them and only see it when it makes the front page. I judge my bias off what I've seen. This isn't limited to relationship subs tho. Reddit loves to glorify sex work and loves to shame men who have a hard time getting laid. So there, I explained my apparently unfunny joke.


AStarInaJar

I’ve seen plenty of people still shame sex workers on here, more than they’ve supported. I guess it just depends on the sub? I’ve never seen a post about a man talking about prostitutes through so idk what that comment section looks like


Rak-CheekClapper

From what I've seen the people shaming are heavily down voted. I'm not against sex work. I've hired escorts before. I've dated a couple strippers when I was in my 20s. It should be legal and the people involved should be protected. But the combination of the double standard I've seen between the seller and buyer, combined with the glorification of the seller, kinda annoys me. I've seen threads where people act like the girl sucking dick in a gas station parking lot deserves more respect than an EMT or Firefighter. I get it's a job that needs to be done but they're not out there saving lives. I'd put them in the same bracket as drug dealers tbh.


ChadMcRad

The court of public Reddit opinion is that all men are incels until proven otherwise. You can then praise girls, but not *too* much. Defending them can go either way. If it involves something sexual, you must defend and even praise. Anything else? Then you're a "simp."


BOBOnobobo

As if... There are different people staying different opinions. So stop complaining about stiff like that.


octoprickle

I don't have a 53 year old boyfriend! I have a 39 year old wife. She doesn't have a collection of guys drivers license s either. So stupid. She'd have no room for her skull collection then.


Overwhealming

I've always hated this idiotic pattern of "my [21F] boyfriend [53M]...". Your initial line text is about your boyfriend but you start up with your own age. Something among the lines of "I'm [21F] and my boyfriend [53M]..." would be a lot easier to read and less confusing.


TurianVakarian

Waiting for the people who think decades worth of age gabs is not a red flag to defend this


Reddit-kit94

To me, a big age gap is an obstacle, something that will make the relationship more difficult. To me, an outright red flag is something that screams danger to your mental, emotional and physical health, like him being a rapist or having beaten his former girlfriends, or being manipulative or something.


My_unbaned-account

Or having missing women’s drivers licenses


Reddit-kit94

Oh please, she's the asshole for snooping around, let the man have his freedom, duh.


Frenchticklers

Women be breaking your RL kill streak, amirite fellas?


My_unbaned-account

Yeah that’s true I wouldn’t want someone snooping in my toe collection


PaanuriEater

50 to 20 is someone with 2 years of independent life experience vs someone with 32. The gap in power there is always questionable. Experience is way more important than people on Reddit seem to think it is. That's 30 years of worldly knowledge the other will lack- and that kind of differential is really easy to exploit in abusive ways. It's a red flag for a reason. Sometimes it's not actually abusive.... but most 32 year age gap relationships aren't innocent at all.


ToastGardensCEO

Agreed. Not outright abusive but certainly not innocent. Why would anyone want to date someone with 20+ years less of life experience, career tenure, wealth accumulation, and wisdom? It could only lead to a power imbalance. Why would anyone want to leave their spouse a widow so early on? It is not in the interest of the younger partner at all, unless there is perhaps a financial motive involved for the younger partner, which only adds another layer of toxicity to that relationship.


Reddit-kit94

We must have differing definitions of "red flag", because for me, you just described why the age gap by itself isn't a red flag. Even in your example, you said someone would have to eploit something, in abusive ways, meaning for it to be dangerous, you already have to presuppose actual red flag traits like being abusive and exploitative onto one partner, in which case again, the person being abusive ans exploitative is the red flag, not them being older.


HarpersGhost

Red flag may not necessarily mean bad relationship. Red flag means that the people need to take a really critical eye into the dynamics of the relationship, The problem with the big age gap with one of the people being around 20ish, is that the younger person doesn't have the experience to really differentiate controlling, abusive behavior, especially if they themselves had a bad family life as a child. "He takes care of me" when younger can quickly become "He's really controlling and doesn't allow me to make any decisions" when the younger partner has gotten older and wants to assume more responsibility for their own lives. And a person around 20 is going to go through some big personality changes pretty quickly. A person may be quite different between 20 and 25, whereas between 30 and 35, the person won't go through the same growth. So a relationship with a 20yo and a 50yo can be far more unstable that a relationship with a 30yo and a 60yo. And honestly? The relationships I've known with the dynamic of one person being around 20 have become pretty toxic. Personal experience tells me that it's a huge red flag. And this is regardless of gender of the participants: a male cousin at 19 dated a woman who was 35, and that turned into a pretty toxic relationship when he got older and wanted to grow up, and she didn't like that at all.


killertapir

To me, a red flag is a warning of danger. Your partner being a rapist isn't a warning, that's the danger. They are the danger! A sign saying *'sharks may be in the water'* is a warning. Seeing a black fin heading towards you is 'too late.' An age gap *can* be a warning, especially if they have a history of going after younger partners. There's a reason there.


jonathancredit

Yikes yta


flargenhargen

I think it's possible that people of different ages could potentially get along well. maybe, maybe not, but it's really weird that you decided that was more important than the fact that he's likely a serial murderer.


InverseMullet

Reddit comments: Somewhere someone will find a way to blame it on capitalism.


dbar58

Or make something racist. I shit you not, apparently haircuts are racist, according to a comment section I saw recently.


InverseMullet

But in reality, racism is just a consequence of capitalism according to reddit


fatalgift

*Image Transcription: Twitter* --- **Janel Comeau**, [*Handle redacted*] instagram: look at my new boyfriend twitter: I can't get a boyfriend reddit: my [21F] boyfriend [53M] boyfriend forbids me from going into the basement and has a sock drawer full of missing women's driver's licenses, AITA for being uncomfortable? the wedding is in three hours --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


the-fire-in-flame

good human


fatalgift

Thank you!


My_unbaned-account

Good bot


fatalgift

Thanks! ^beep ^boop


My_unbaned-account

That’s the first thanks I’ve ever gotten from saying good bot


fatalgift

<3 :)


teapot_on_reddit

Good human


Normaleenice

You dropped these, sis 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


MrAndMisdemeanor

There goes Reddit calling everything a red flag smh my head


IAMHideoKojimaAMA

Excessively shaking your head is a sign of mental or physical disorders. Red flag OP you dont want to be someone's nurse for the next 20 years. Get out, learn to code, become Google CEO.


BeauteousMaximus

Tumblr: these two fictional characters are boyfriends


TheDankestReGrowaway

This is good stuff. Reddit has a whole collection of subs where shitty people go to judge other people and present some air of superiority. Subs like /r/AITA can be useful, but the majority of it is masturbatory garbage that people with massive egos use to get off on judging others as inferior. But then subs like /r/trashy are just filled with trashy people calling other trashy people trashy and there's no redeeming quality at all to the comment section. As toxic as twitter is, it feels like reddit is 10x worse for exacerbating mental health issues.


vivecor

boyfriend boyfriend? So this is a triangle relationship?


youngcatlady1999

Is it bad that I go on that subreddit just for entertainment sometimes?


WinterBourne25

NTA. Dump the boyfriend for not being honest about his previous relationships.


Biagio-Terumi

reddit is wild


kalebsantos

Congrats on being the number one post on the sub


CuriousHeffa

"Wedding is in 3 hours n his mom recommended she wear my wedding dress as 'tradition'"


Bishopkilljoy

To quote LOPTL "if your husband has a room that YOU CAN'T ENTER.... Call the police"


RandyDinglefart

His house is in the northeast section of Morioh, where all the villas are.


[deleted]

How is this not political? You clearly describe most politicians in detail.


TR0V3R

Because of the implication...


LegendOfDylan

I think he has socks in his license drawer


eklatea

Seriously tho, reddit saved my ass from the mindset you get living in abusive dynamics (parents in my case but still). Some stories might be fake but this stuff really messes up your sense of judgement


[deleted]

[удалено]


Matt-Mesa

You do realize it’s a joke right?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheDankestReGrowaway

Please discuss this with your primary care physician.


ZippZappZippty

Yo that’s decently accurate? 😬


Stankmonger

Also reddit: Entire subreddits that were supposed to be about normal life and are now just “wahhhhhh I can’t stop talking about only anime!!! Why don’t girls like me when I don’t take any time to ask them what their interests are????” It’s not which social media. It’s where you look.


modulusshift

Delete Facebook, hit a lawyer, get a gym.


pmcd_com

Wait this is what turns me off his looks


DudeBeingReal

If you folks need me, I'll be over on Instagram getting hitched.


AlieanBreac

Fuck. She found my drawer of drivers licenses?


flargenhargen

should we feel bad for the twitter person? everyone else found someone to be with, and they are alone.


MythOfLight

YTA, his basement his rules, play stupid games win stupid prizes, etc etc


ZippZappZippty

My mind can’t dump them etc etc


CrustyT-shirt

That's an average redditor right there


Atomicnes

"AITA for murdering an entire orphanage? I'm a woman BTW" "*NTA, girlboss power*"


BlackCitan

Molly, you in danger girl.


Fresh-Addendum9267

"We've been dating for 5 years"


Dumble_Dior

YTA. GFY. He’s established clear boundaries and you want to cross them and ruin his wedding day? Unbelievable to even post this garbage


MarsLander10

Ouch, dude, ouch.”


Mininini175

OnlyFans: Watch me suck my boyfriends dick. 20$


-Effervescence

This would qualify as Madlad material right?


Weird_transistor

I don’t k is why, but I find The whole 23F, 27M convention distracting and annoying.


An_oaf_of_bread

This girl social medias


AirForceDragons

This is above reddit paygrade maybe try couples therapy???


ZippZappZippty

Yea that’s decently accurate? 😬


howispendmyday

oddly terrifying


ZippZappZippty

This really looks like it came from.


Rude_Journalist

Going out on away goals" was painfully apt.


EffectiveSwan8918

If she isn't secure enough to be with a man that has had a past then she is the asshole. My god who doesn't have a hobby? Not like she knows them, all the licenses are from out of state