Why is it that in real life when someone marries someone who has an unhappy life to help them, things end badly for both of them?

While it is popular in fiction for someone who lives a bad life to meet their soulmate and live happily ever after, why does it rarely go well in real life despite the two having been in love?


If someone is frantically struggling in the ocean unable to swim and you swim out to rescue them they can end up drowning you.


Because people make the mistake of thinking someone with a bad life is just up against bad circumstances. The truth is people with bad lives are often times people who create their bad lives.


How many times have you seen this in real life?


It's really tough to save people. You can help them save themselves - but you can't do it for them.


Movies aren't meant to be documentaries every time. In the real world, people are complex and difficult to understand. It's very hard to "fix" someone who is unhappy, because a lot of the times they don't consider themselves broken. Meeting one person will rarely ever solve all of your problems.


Life sometimes is not the way we want it. Life is vast and so different. To me I think it's better to know your partner before marriage because two unhappy people can't make a happy home. One must be happy. The happy one will cheer up the other person. If both are unhappy who then will cheer up the other.


Same reason that running away from your problems often doesn't work. And why groups that settle a new area to build a utopian society don't end up doing so. As humans, wherever we go, there we are. We carry our human nature with us, including many of our problems. A lot of them are due to the way we deal with or react to things. Just going to a new location or marrying someone isn't going to change that. Sometimes, by changing the things that we have to deal with or react to, it might help some, but that's a crapshoot. We'll have different things to deal with or react to, and are likely to fall back on the old bad ways of handling it.