T O P
internetsurfer42069

Fuckin love octopuses


UnfixedMidget

So does The Deep


DrMike27

At least Timothy’s family is being cared for.


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juan_epstein-barr

how would one love something figuratively?


hyperchickenwing

Stfu Todd


N0tInKansasAnym0r3

Yeah fuck you Todd


humakavulaaaa

Your parents


juan_epstein-barr

the ocean


Dasshteek

What a traumatic scene. “He’s praying!”


Syrinx221

That shit was brutal


NozGame

Now I wonder who he was praying to. Cthulhu? Oh no.


__shitsahoy__

“She wants to taste you”


Bowler_300

Its official, The Boys has hit official reddit critical mass where references are in Alls top comment thread. I give it 6 more months before starlights nudes get dropped.


Comment90

They're already out some places, it's just that she was still taking pictures up until recently. It'll be on headlines any day now. ^^^^not ^^^^really


pauly13771377

They allready exist


PaladinsLover69

She has feelings!


Gabagool89

Deep? Eat fucking Timothy


xskilling

loves fucking octopuses* There’s a distinct difference


ishkabibbel2000

He loves fucking octopuses


jeffryu

Yeah, i cant look at octopuses the same anymore


ScenePsychological60

He loves fucking octopuses


futuretech85

I swear I thought they were going to tentacle porn the threesome scene.


kwazykatlady

Every good boy deserves a good petting


boopjoop

Octopuses are unreal


noobvin

No, they’re real, we see one in this video. Birds on the other hand…


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norsurfit

I fucking love fucking octopuses


Baelwolf

That's Deep


SugarReyPalpatine

Balls deep. The Deep’s balls deep.


Rme3P

I’d like to get balls deep in an octopus.


SugarReyPalpatine

Sounds like a fun night out with The Boys


No_Dragonfruit490

You can’t go without me Im comingg boiss!!


CallistoAUS

Johnny Deep


mikeyx401

In too Deep.


workerant90

SUM 41 that you?


Shabobo

Just hoping to spice up our sex life introducing someone new


cluelessbox

Is this a "the boys" joke? I can't tell if it's intentional or not.


hmmm_man

Yes.


Pool-noodle-muncher2

Octopuses love fucking


Otacon56

Timothy, no


Froggy_hop

The scene with Timothy fucked me up more than anything else on that show, and that’s saying something.


FuneralPyreFire

I will never again see an octopus and not imagine that crunch... right after "I can hear him praying"...


plantwitch_gem

Same, I had to look away until it was over, but the sounds....


porn_is_tight

so if he was fucking Timothy, does that mean he’s a gay fish


Street_Magic

Woah hey Timothy is no fish ! He is a mollusk


chizzmaster

Deep is that you


bunny_in_the_moon

So do anime women.


SingleInfinity

Fun fact: octopodes is pronounced "oc-top-o-deez". Insert additional octopodes nuts joke.


National_One7548

I read a comment once that said something like “Humans are incredibly fortunate because we love to pet things and 90% of the world like to be pet.” My favorites thus far have been sharks and turtles, but this cute little guy certainly makes the top 10.


chizzmaster

Wait sharks like to be pet?


NotThatRelevant

Like cats, pat them once and then gauge their reaction.


_FlutieFlakes_

It’s staring at me. Second scratch required. “I’m now learning to live with 7 fingers”


dtwhitecp

I'm having trouble imagining a scenario where a shark decides to bite something off of you and it's only a few fingers


PaintedGreenFrame

That could actually be a pretty likely scenario if you think about it. Sharks don’t favour humans as prey. We’re not the ideal food for them - we have arms and legs and fight back, and they’ve evolved to eat fish, not red meat. So when they attack humans it’s generally thought to be out of curiosity, just trying one out as a food source. So they might just nibble a couple of fingers to try us out first. Then when you punch it in the eye, it might think again. Unless you’re in a Jaws movie.


dtwhitecp

I see what you are going for and agree, it just turns out that in practice a little sample for them is usually a chunk out of your arm, leg, or torso. I don't think a few fingers are even enough for a taste.


PaintedGreenFrame

Yeah they’re not exactly delicate.


i-am-a-yam

No I don’t think I will.


KabedonUdon

If they're cool. I've pet nurse sharks out in the wild before. Wouldn't recommend it though. I was a dumb kid on a long leash. Turtles are protected in my area though, so they're illegal to pet.


Berloxx

Wait. So protected means no pets? What is prohibited to do to something that's classified as protected? Genuinely curious


KabedonUdon

Depends. Endangered Species Act is federal, but there may be added penalties and specific regulations/protections depending on jurisdiction, species, season, etc. Here's an article from [South Carolina,](https://abcnews4.com/news/local/disturbing-sea-turtles-on-sc-shores-could-cost-you-up-to-15000) > Officials would rather you respect sea turtles by viewing them responsibly. > Do not harm, harass, pick up, ride, straddle, restrain, jump over, injure, kill or otherwise disturb sea turtles. > Feeding or touching the turtles, shining lights on them, or any other disturbances are considered illegal. Federal penalties include jail time and fines up to $15,000 for each offense You generally don't want to fuck with birds in North America, for example, because they're likely protected under a treaty called the Migratory Bird Treaty Act. As a rule of thumb, you'd be safe to assume that "protected" means "give them plenty of space, leave them be, no touchy"


Berloxx

Thank you for the pretty detailed answer 💛 No touchy still bums me out tho. But I understand


MOdruid

I bet you can very quickly find a centipede that likes pets. Probably everything likes pets if it trusts the one giving them. I have seen octopus, birds, reptiles, fish, amphibians, mammals all enjoy getting some pets from humans. Absolutely don't blame any of them for not trusting humans.


Froggy_hop

And they’re smooth in all directions.


DarkDonut75

Amongst other things


Jonnokiwi

This reminds me of a sci Fi idea where all interstellar crews need at least one human because the human will always do things crazy stuff like befriend the acid spitting 10 legged creature....and succeed


NegativeReward

I need that book! I live silly sci-fi like that


TheLordFool

It sounds like an r/hfy prompt. Some great writing over there if that's your sort of thing


FaeryLynne

r/humansarespaceorcs too! Some great mini stories there.


Chilipatily

I LOVE the original “adrenaline is unique to humans” HFY.


gr4vediggr

O definitely read something like that on there


Snoo-43722

Oh man I just found a love story between a slug and a human it was awesome


arnathor

While I’m not sure if that’s an actual book, there is a book along similar lines by Alan Dean Foster called A Call To Arms. It’s the first (and best) part of a trilogy of sci-fi books about two gigantic alien alliances at war - one finds humans and is terrified by their barbarity, but also their guide is basically a hippy who lives on a boat. It’s really funny while also being quite dark. Definitely a recommended read.


Balentay

There are tons of posts over on Tumblr exploring the idea. Just search "space orcs" lol


catsloveart

to extend the story. humans can also be invasive. and once established they are territorial. loud and generally make a mess of the local environment. so all sapient beings know to never leave a group of humans stuck or abandoned. to always return humans back to society. or steer to someplace that you wouldn’t inhabit otherwise. its to keep humans from getting into your backyard.


orthopod

So we're friendly weeds..


NCats_secretalt

Prettiest little pests (:


[deleted]

Humans are the cats of the universe


Hell-Bent-For-Lego

Just like in the Guardians of the Galaxy game. Peter Quill befriends a space llama that everyone wants to get rid of and it ends up saving their asses.


OMGlookatthatrooster

Such a great game. Loved the crew interactions.


Lurking4Answers

There Will Be Scritches a series posted regularly to /r/HFY


noobvin

Speaking of octopuses and aliens: https://cordis.europa.eu/article/id/123479-trending-science-do-octopuses-come-from-outer-space


maddsskills

And these little dudes are so smart. Expert escape artists. They can even solve simple puzzles.


VeryGoodSauce-

Wow, I can't even do that


Meanttobepracticing

There’s a video on YouTube where they gave an octopus a baby bottle with food inside, half expecting the octopus to just work out how to unscrew the lid. The octopus actually decided that no, he was just going to pull the rubber teat off instead and then reach in to get the food.


WhoWantsPizzza

I think about this often with videos like this. A lot of animals can’t really scratch themselves - at least not as well as a human hand. It must feel great haha As far as this octopus - I have nothing to back it up, but I can’t imagine it tries to do this with other animals, so how does it know a human will reciprocate???


Altruistic-Pin-2549

Sharks like to get rotated


thecypher4

I like to be pet :)


DirtyTooth

Her name is Ambrosia


PhishinLine

She said she wants to taste you.


kyarypakyupakyu

Deep's special friend


lampishthing

"He's praying" - I almost threw up


somek_pamak

And I shall call him squishy and he shall be mine


TvALoki

Man this just makes them posts where they cook them alive even worse...


Fr00stee

I don't get why people even cook animals alive, just kill it quickly instead of making it suffer


ba3toven

no. i torture the mosquitoes before i eat them.


ABirdOfParadise

they make mosquito burgers in some countries


TheBipolarChihuahua

I never needed to know this. Thanks!


amh8011

I read a book as a kid about the oregon trail and they’d get so many mosquitos that when they made pancakes they’d get so many mosquitos in the batter that they started calling them ‘skeeter cakes’. Now, I’m not sure how true this is as it was one of those little kid historical fiction books.


emsok_dewe

I don't find that hard to believe at all, honestly


OppressedDeskJockey

They kinda taste like ants.


Throwawaymybios

What do ants taste like?


Slate_711

Mosquitos


WORKING2WORK

Tastes like turkey jerky that way.


ayoubkun94

Only species that deserves it.


dtwhitecp

that comes from an obsession with the idea that fresher = better, and is ridiculous now that we have better technology and practices to keep deceased seafood fresh. Places in Japan serve fish that is alive when you start to eat it, and it's fucked. edit: nobody followed up with the rest of the Jurassic Park quote? for shame.


i_hate_patrice

Why don't they eat directly in the sea while diving? Nothing is fresher than that!


ArsenicAndRoses

Well tbf fresh fish tastes different. I thought I didn't like fish until I had some I caught myself a half hour earlier. That being said, eating things alive is barbaric imo. Just kill it right before, ffs.


doughnutholio

how do u kill calamari/octopi quickly???


YaBoyPads

Stab in the head I guess?


YasharFL

Iirc they have no centralized brain


Backupusername

They have hearts, right? ...Those aren't centralized either. I'm pretty sure they have three. Fuck, it *is* kind of hard to kill an octopus quickly and painlessly, huh?


DovakiinDovakiin

Tbh I thought that you're just supposed to slice through the head, but I could have made that up idk lol


Toxicair

Ugh that reminds me of this Korean woman freaking out while mutilating live squid to eat raw. She cuts off the mantle of one above the eyes and it crawls around while lobotomized.


LapisLooloo

Octopuses do have a centralized brain, as they are cephalic organisms- but they have several other localized brains so that's something


Foxxx18

Squeeze in between the head and body will dispatch a squid quickly.


YourFriendlyAutist

After I learned how smart octopus are, i stopped eating any of it. It feels wrong harvesting a creature capable of so much intelligence


Scrapper-Mom

I did too after watching the movie "My Octopus Teacher"


MarkusAk

I live in Anchorage and that guy's daughter was a friend of my bandmate and would go to our shows sometimes. It was crazy to be down in Florida watching TV with my family and then see my friend's dad on the Discovery Channel.


schoolsbelly

Same, felt bad I had ever eaten any before that


freedaemons

The only octopus I ate was takoyaki, but I'm good to swear it off and eat squid instead. The one I have trouble with is eel... There's no substitute for unagi.


YourFriendlyAutist

Oh no.. I love eel.. dare I ask why?


freedaemons

They're endangered, like literally, not even 'threatened' status. They don't breed well enough in captivity to be farmed like say, shrimp.


waitthisisntroblox

But where would you draw the line? Pigs are also highly intelligent (Like a 2 year old human), do you still eat them? Why does their intelligence decide whether they deserve moral consideration when it doesnt change the fact that nearly all animals can feel pain, suffer and have a will to live their lifes


AceWither

Yeah that's something I've been grappling with for the past few months. It helps a bit that I live in Mongolia where most livestock is more or less free-range, but even if I decided to become vegetarian or something, there's not too many options.


maybehun

I don’t eat pigs or octopus for that reason. Everyone has their own moral code.


thetruth5199

Or when they eat them still alive. I think if you’re ever going to eat another animal for food, at least give them the respect by killing them beforehand as quick and painless as possible.


Based_Flow

I’m watching to the end cause I want to! Not cause you told me to…


BanginBananas

I listened to the mother fucker, and ain’t nothin’ happened


Odd-Butterscotch-495

I was convinced it was gonna take a chunk out of his hand


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Sea_Mango_4031

2.3M post karma in under 2 years.


ZKXX

Reddit admins love this one simple trick


Mockturtle22

I was just commenting about how playful octopuses actually are, on another post haha they are really smart creatures


DrDingoMC

With a head that big I’m not shocked lol


ricearon

Part of the many reasons octopuses are fascinating is because 2/3 of their nerves endings are in their arms/body! Their arms have a loose ability to actually “think for themselves” - they will react to external stimuli without the brain having to make the decision for them :)


coolguyfrank

In Anil Seth's book "Being You" he talks about how if we want to learn about what alien's would be like we should start with the octopus. Their consciousness is spread throughout their bodies, their limbs have their own "mind" it's amazing!


MotoMkali

Similarly sauropods are theorised to have been so big that they needed a massive nerve cluster that could act independently to control the tail and and rear legs because the signals couldn't get from their brain to their legs and tails quick enough to balance themselves.


pingpongtits

This is why Reddit is so great. Now I want to learn more about sauropods. Every day there's something interesting and exciting to see and learn about. Thanks for this.


omnipotentworm

makes you wonder why super large animals didn't evolve to have the brain located in the middle of the body then to evenly distribute travel time for signals. granted then the sensory organs have a greater delay, but still


mannoncan

Maybe just too hard to protect to be evolutionary viable?


tubacmm

Hence Doc Ock ;)


LightFTL

The cool thing is that it's actually intelligent enough to understand that they are playing and enjoy the experience.


Moonlight_Darling

I mean, so is a bird or a fish. Play is universal for most creatures regardless of brain capacity


YourFriendlyAutist

You’re god damn right. Love seeing two birds hustle and tustle. Jacks my tits


Moonlight_Darling

I love the phrasing of this comment 11/10


drewsEnthused

I have a few tits in my backyard that have been jacked for 18 months!


the_internets23

Yeah, this human has really come a long way 😊


HannibalShade

"excuse me human. Do you have a moment to talk about our dark lord Cthulhu?"


cleveland_leftovers

Omg I love him.


SigmundFreud

Thanks!


paige493

My EXACT reaction 😂🐙💙


Kubalaj

Happy blue cheese day


palindromic

*bonk*


soundslikeaduck

Today I learned that octoscritches are adorable


crazycockerels

My Octopus Teacher❣️ I just love Octopuses


ThisIsRyGuy

I cried both times I watched it. Such a beautiful film. I loved that it showed their intelligence. Highly recommend this to anyone.


CaptainnTedd

One of the best documentaries/movies I've ever seen. I didn't know anything about Octopuses beforehand and my mind was completely blown away, I was sitting in front of the TV with my jaw dropped over what these animals are capable of. And of course at the end I was sobbing like a baby. 10/10


adrippingcock

That's how it all started. That Octopus would eventually end up having a family: A clueless wife and children who loved him regardless and even saved him from an angry sushi chef...


findhumorinlife

I’ve seen it twice and going for a third soon!


BootOk2125

Timothy


whosebanisitanyway

You're pure evil


Spawnacus

*He's praying!*


threetealeaves

Oh man, I need more superlatives since joining Reddit and this sub. That is so so wonderful! Keep coming back to watch this. So cool how it keeps changing its skin color and pattern as it plays, and how it curls all it tentacles up at the end. That diver must’ve been on cloud nine!


KookinLeft

What episode of The Boys is this?


zmunky

I believe it was herogasm.


Odinuts

I can't believe Frenchie missed it


Jub_Jub710

RIP Timothy.


TheDeep1985

That show has ruined my perception of octopuses.


SephYuyX

This fine specimen of octopussy sure does suck a mean dick.


dinosuitgirl

🎶 I want to be where the people are 🎶


RobleViejo

Octupuses are the Cats of the Mollusks


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TheEarthWorks

Don't tell me how much I need to watch.


Brendissimo

Also, it's 30 seconds. If people can't sit through that, telling them to finish it won't make a difference.


Frisky_Froth

Sooo, can they bite or anything? Don't they have a beak?


Signature_Sea

Yeah but it doesn't seem to feel threatened. This octo has played with people before I think, it only has good associations


fistful_of_ideals

Which really, for a wild ass animal to identify that a) this is a human, and b) it's not a threat is amazing on its own. And to do it in such a short time. Dude just scooped his ass up at the end, and it was like "this is dope, I'm probably safer here than swimming about. I'mma curl up and have a nap while this human grabs my face." These things are dummy smart, and they likes to cuddle. Simultaneously awe inspiring, and heart melting.


AngryInternetManBaby

Watch till the end? Nothing happened at the end.


iLikeMeeces

OP is a bot spam account (check their profile). They were just making the title more clickbaity


ExternalTangents

Yeah I was wondering what happened at the end that I wasn’t picking up on


Botto71

The Deep would like a word...


Severedghost

The Deep would like a turn...


zmunky

The deep would like it deep.


frendzoned_by_yo_mom

The deep would like you to watch


RetroMetroShow

Rare pupper


Diggable_Planet

Scritches are universal


Environmental-Fig922

Turns out he's really trying to kill the guy.. he's just too tiny..


Well_Read_Redneck

Unless he's a Blue Ringed Octopus.


Mr-Stuff-Doer

Massive vibes of the Subnautica Cuddlefish.


UseMoreHops

Inaccurate title? Best part was within the first 15 secs of the start.


TheCapableFox

That’s adorable lol


inflexibleracoon

Is that you, Timothy!?


RepresentativeAd560

*H. P. Lovecraft has left the chat*


traffic_cone_tio4n

Octo friend :D


ApoptosisPending

If octopuses (which is the correct plural, or octopi if you prefer) lived to the age of humans, they would’ve terraformed the ocean into a civilization as they’re extremely smart and relatively social. They just don’t live that long 5-10 years for most species. Such cool animals; they’re neurons are distributed through their arms so each one can think and perceive independent of each other, 8 core processing haha


IFdude1975

Welp, then it's time for scientists to do some DNA tampering to extend their lives. I want to see an Octopus civilization.


Moon_beam_stylin

Like a sweet little puppy!


silentbobsmokes

Are squids/octopuses friendly animals?


[deleted]

Okay hear me out: domesticated octopuses