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Did your husband divorce you 3 times? Or was this your first?
If he divorced you 3 times (3 talaqs) then you must marry someone before getting back to your ex-husband. And come on, the imam proposing himself šš
https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/11798
Yes we had a legit divorce all the Talaqs lol along with a formal legal divorce and we had been separated for the past 4 years and yes he did propose himself haha
Reply, I know someone in a similar situation. There is no way around it, as the link by the poster above says, marrying someone else with the intention to divorce is not valid. May Allah make it easy for you.
Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2071, narrated by Ali ibn Abu-Talib, reports that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: āThe Curse of Allah be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband, and upon the one for whom she is made lawful!ā
That's why divorce is considered so serious in Islam:
Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu āanhu) said that Allahās Messenger (salallÄhu āalaihi wassallam) said, āThere are three matters, whether they are undertaken seriously or in jest are taken seriously \[in Islam\]: NikÄh (marriage), divorce and taking oneās wife back (rajāah).ā (Abu Dawood, no. 2194 and the books of Sunan; authenticated by Al-AlbÄni in Al-IrwÄ 1826).
https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/
Do you have to separate between each divorce and wait the Ida time for divorce to be actually valid? What if the divorce is said 3 times but there was no separation at all?
i think this is when someone does triple talaq(triple divorce)? like it's when they say talaq (divorce) 3 times in a row and so therefore divorce is immediate with no chance of reconciliation. i believe scholars highly discourage this kind of divorce, but it's valid
yea sorry not sure, this is all confusing, because i'm reading other replies here and people have linked some resources and clarification on that , u can check it out
I don't think that applies here brother, the 3 divorces are for one divorce, but for a divorce to count you have to say it 3 times, not get divorced 3 times. Unless I am mistaken, plus I think you can't marry, with the intention to divorce. The trusted local imam doesn't seems very smart, he is trying to trick Allah? Lol, I would advise to get married to your ex, ask for forgiveness, he is known as all forgiving
I think you are mistaken indeed. Whether it's been said 3 times in one go, or they "physically" divorced 3 times then remarrying is invalid in both cases.
BUT there might be a way to salvage the 3 talaqs if said in one row and that would be the intention. Did her husband divorce her with the intention of 1, but repeated 3 times to insist on how serious he is? Or did he divorce her with the intention of 3? If it's the first case, they can remarry because it counts as one divorce and not 3. If it's the latter, unfortunately there's no way around it.
And you're absolutely right, the imam isn't that "serious" because you can't marry someone else with the intention of divorcing, to remarry your ex š
Hey you learn something new everyday, might need that in the future lol
I am sure the imam was just joking lol, I can imagine the imam not divorcing after the marriage lmao
Oh my god what am I reading here š±
I donāt think this is right considering youād have to consummate the marriage with the imam and then divorce him - which he is preplanning and is advising you to do. That goes against the virtue of a Nikkah imo.
Thatās just a twisted, extorted loophole if you ask me.
Only genz thinks like thatš like everything is possible according to them remember heās only 22š he forgot that he was imam and tried to shoot his shot
LOOOOL innit?! I died laughing after I read 22. did he start getting his qualifications at 12 to end up being an Imam at 22?! being an Imam is very serious, it takes a while and most if not all Imams have years if not decades of higher Islamic education and credentials. š
Yes, there was a BBC investigation on the halala marriage, many online services available for women who pay to marry, consummate marriage and divorce just to get back with their husbands. This is forbidden.
Technically without planning this out a person who sees a formerly married couple suffering after a divorce can volunteer to marry her with the secret intention of divorcing her to reunite the couple. And this isnāt an easy thing to do since he could fall in love with her.
However, if the couple hatch up a plan to get the wife to marry a strange man and then divorce him after consummating the marriage then this is hated by Allah and wrong.
Thereās no requirement to consummate the marriage.
https://islamqa.info/en/225 https://islamqa.info/en/answers/225/no-prescribed-period-for-consummating-marriage
Why did she re-marry? Just to legitimize her return? She should not enter into a marriage with that intention. If she does so, what remedy is there for a woman who does not accept the dignity granted to her by Shariah. She is subjecting herself to a process for her abusive ex-husband.
2. You state you will never go to a non-virgin. If you feel like that, you can be a perfect husband and never divorce your wife for her to be ādirtiedā by another man. If you do divorce her, why would you be worried about her being dirtied for you. You did worse to her by your abuse to her than her merely being dirtied. An abusive husband probably needed more psychological punishment but Allah restricted it only to halalah which you refer to as dirtied. If the ex-husband feels she is dirtied he doesnāt have to take her back if he doesnāt want to. Nobody forces him to do so. It is his choice. He must decide. If he takes her back, why call her dirty.
You can read (https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/17229/why-must-the-wife-consummate-with-new-husband-b4-she-remarries/)
What are you even talking about? I never said anything about virgins or halalah. The original commenter made a statement that the marriage would have to be consummated. There is no requirement for consummating a marriage. In fact, there are even separate rules for divorcing when a marriage has not been consummated.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/175624
In addition, consummating the marriage does not mean sex. It can be any private action that only a husband and wife can do together.
https://www.mathabah.org/consummation-of-marriage-with-or-without-intercourse/
What the sister in the OP is saying is not even allowed in the first place and Iām not trying to justify it either. Iām simply replying to a comment that said that consummating a marriage is a requirement for it to be valid, which is incorrect.
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No it's not. You don't have to fornicate for a marriage to be valid. For a marriage to be valid all you need is the following; full consent of both partners to the marriage, expressing the above consent through ijab (offer) and qabul (acceptance), finally the presence of two reliable witnesses.
Someone should report this so-called "imam."
His proposal is Haram:
āThe Curse of Allah be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband, and upon the one for whom she is made lawful!ā - Sunan Abu Dawud
This you?
https://www.reddit.com/r/blackmagic/comments/yu3zxo/spell_to_take_over_someones_body/iw7nif0?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
What the heck? That is indeed her! SubhanAllah. Allah's refuge is sought.
[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/12578/witchcraft-and-seeking-help-from-practitioners-of-it](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/12578/witchcraft-and-seeking-help-from-practitioners-of-it)
[https://islamqa.info/en/answers/9432/sihr-and-its-types](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/9432/sihr-and-its-types)
If you spoke to an imam who is known etc why didnāt you ask him the details? I mean he even offered himself to marry you and you really didnāt go over what that entails?
it canāt be planned like that. This is haram. I donāt want to doubt the imam but surely this is something he should have known.
He did go through it and did mention weād have to consummate otherwise the marriage wouldnāt be valid Iām just looking for other opinions along with if there are anyways around this not sure if it was dubious that he offered himself but he seemed very respectable.
even if this was halal... the consummation alone would definitely give me pause. I'm not letting some strange man be intimate with me just so i can get back with my ex. and if your ex is ok with that, that would concern me, too.
did you really come here to brag about your situation sister? assuming it is true lol
the reddit sub does not have more knowledge than the imam and if you are truly looking for religious solutions a sub is not the place to look for them
Do you really want to understand or just want to prove your thought about Islam?
Can you look into the topic and see that the rule is legitly trying to protect women not to go back to ex??
There's a very low possibility where someone had an ex and divorce them 3 times (I mean legit divorce not children plays) then marry another man and still go back to the previous ex (Someone who's probably abusive or sort ).
If there's no rule like that the op may be married again to her ex and the chain keep going imagine if its abusive.
Oh, just commenting base on this thread, and sincerely I was surprised how you get to the "Islam" comment cause that's a pretty good rule.
It can be a benefit for both gender
Wallahu Ahlam
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Well from what was explained to me by the imam is that itās a counter measure for divorce and for it to not be taken lightly along with abused former spouses who would immediately get back with their spouses so itās there as counter measures for that but I do get your point it is difficult. In terms of if I get pregnant by him Iād put that down to Allah if itās supposed to happen it will but all in all it is for me and my ex partner to get back together only reason Iām considering this.
Iām sorry you feel this way. Know that Islam is perfect but people are imperfect.
Let me give you an example. Couple are having a hard time with each other. 1st talaq is given (but talaq canāt be given if the wife is on her period since women are very weak, heightened emotions, etc (look how Merciful Allah is that he knows what us women go through)). 3 month ida period starts. Beds are separated. Here it is a chance to see if they really need to be separated or was that something done during heated moment. During that time it is also to ensure the wife isnāt pregnant. Letās say the couple went back together during that idah period. After 2-3 years, another situation arose and 2nd talaq was stated. Another 3 month ida period happens. Another chance for the couple to reconcile. And during that time they get back together. Another some time passes and 3rd talaq is spoken. Another idah period is given to ensure the wife isnāt pregnant but cannot reconcile the marriage. Marriage is very sacred in Islam. Maybe these two arenāt fit together and even 2 chance were given, they couldnāt make it work. So Allah gives a chance to the women to have them seek a spouse who they live in harmony. And letās say the wife did find someone. They got married (for the sale of marriage and actually working on it) and continued their lives (for the exampleās sake) they didnāt get along. Went through 3 talaq process. THEEENNN the ex-husband from the first marriage can re-propose.
If that 3 talaq rule wasnāt placed then men would be giving talaq left-and- right knowing they will get back together when they want and there would be no respect to the marriage.
Allahu Alam
Hope this example clarifies anything that needed to be.
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Please wake up.
This person is a fake imam, what he is asking you to do is not permissible. You need to genuinely marry someone and make an effort to make the marriage work.
*if you marry someone to divorce and marry your husband, Allah is all seeing and hearing. This marriage will be invalid*
Whoever is encouraging this behaviour needs to go and learn the Fiqh of talaaq and marriage.
Assalamu alaykum,
Sister! Please don't really on Reddit or random 20-something year olds around you for deen!
Here is a brief explanation of remarriage in Islam.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/11798
Another article
https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/
Please read them!
Do not marry and consumate your marriage with another man just to remarry your original husband. If your intention going in to the new marriage is to remarry your original husband, then read this:
āAliĀ (may Allah be pleased with him)Ā reported that the ProphetĀ (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)Ā said:Ā "May Allah curse the Muhallil and the Muhallal lahu."Ā Ā
Sahih/Authentic.Ā - [Ibn Maajah]
Explanation
When a wife is divorced for the third time, she is no longer lawful for her husband until she is married to another man, who should consummate marriage with her. Therefore, some people resort to circumventing legal rulings. An ex-husband would arrange with another man to marry his irrevocably divorced woman through a sham marriage and then divorce her, not intending the Shariah-approved marriage thereby, but with the sole purpose of rendering the irrevocably divorced wife lawful to her ex-husband. Due to such circumvention of Islamic rulings, and for the meanness and the lack of a sense of honor involved in this behavior, the ProphetĀ (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)Ā forbade this kind of marriage and invoked curse and expulsion of Allah's mercy on the Muhallil and the Muhallah lahu.
Source: https://hadeethenc.com/en/browse/hadith/58076
Were they separate talaqs (with iddah each time) or just said at once? There is a difference of opinion amongst the scholars that even if Talaq is said 3 times it will only count as once per time. And I believe that is noted as the most correct opinion.
See: https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/96194
In that case that is ONE divorce.
If it happened like this, this would be 3 divorces:
1. Divorce - iddah, takes back within 3 months
2. Divorce - iddah, takes back within 3 months
3. Divorce - iddah, does not take back within 3 months
Otherwise, it is counted as one divorce. It does not matter how many times you have āproclaimedā divorce over and over again at once.
Speak to a sheikh. Probably anyone who studied at the university of madinah will confirm this is the most right opinion.
I was looking for this comment and I'm surprised it's not further up. A lot of people think saying talaq 3 times is 3 divorces. Pakistani dramas haven't helped either lol
This link talks about it more extensively: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/126549/he-divorced-her-once-then-she-came-back-and-he-divorced-her-twice-during-the-iddah
And to have ehsaan would be to speak to a sheikh (not imam), so please do so.
If you do read Arabic ,, here is the fatwa below ,, and there is ijmaa on it. Just think about it for a minute .. A valid marriage can't have an "End date".
If you happen to marry a new man- after your ex divorced you 3 times- WITHOUT the intention of getting divorced to that new man, but then things happened and you were divorced again , only then you can re-marry your 1st husband. Going around marrying someone for a night then getting a divorce is just funny.
https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/38431/%D9%86%D9%83%D8%A7%D8%AD-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%AD%D9%84%D9%84-%D8%AD%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D9%84
Sister, in one of your comments on another post, you mentioned you seduced a priest, is that the same imam you both went to get married again?
You said your body count is 30 and your husband had cheated previously with whose husband you had done the same so are you both ok with it now and forgiven each other? Would you both be able to live together Islamically now insha'Allah?
May Allah(swt) guide us all and protect us from haraam things. Ameenš¤²š¼
Iām not going to pretend to be an angel. I am not, Iām flawed and have done wrong the priest and this imam are not the same person I wasnāt doing well financially and just tried getting extra help from him. The rest is all true again Iāve made many mistakes I do my best to repent weāve spoken about our struggles and want to move forward for our daughter, inshallah Allah makes us better and gives guidance.
So what the imam recommended is a known practice called nikkah halala and, honestly I find the fact that he suggested it kinda messed up. I'm also sus of a 22 year old with a great reputation, how much education and training can he possibly have. How does one built a great reputation after so little time.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah\_halala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_halala)
Also in the UK this has been reported as a way for imams to exploit women in their communities so please tread very carefully
[https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39480846](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39480846)
Also the following source does seem to imply that halala may not even be necessary, assuming what happened between the two of you wasn't a triple talaq, so at the very least get another opinion
[https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/remarrying-ones-former-husband/](https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/remarrying-ones-former-husband/)
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
It's great if he's helped ppl in his community, but I would not trust someone with that background in this kind of situation normally, and I think he's given you great reason to never go back to him in the future.
Well of course be did. How do you think scandalous guys get to be intimate with girls. Have to appear respectful, polite and charming to lure them in.
Nobody who respects themselves or you would suggest this.
He's 22, how can he possibly have a good reputation. Imams around me have multiple degrees from Islamic universities across many countries, this man is a baby compared to that.
Also, yea, I'm sorry but abusers and exploiters are often charming and respectable. They have to be to get away with stuff.
What if you go with imam/any other for a week and he wonāt let you go/divorce then? Do you just nikaahhh with some man or hv intimacy as well?
Imo you should consult with some other leading imams And see what your options are?
Though why you wanna be back with him? What changes in four years?
everyone has already said how it's a bad idea and haram so maybe not helpful to say this, but I remember a post here awhile ago, where the woman did nikkah with the guy, and his friend was the imam, & they didn't do a civil marriage either.
the guy would not give her a divorce when she eventually wanted one, & since imam was his friend he wouldn't allow her to do khula either. i think she had a hard time finding anyone else to give her khula.
some ppl have commented that what if this imam marries u but refuses to give u divorce. it's already haram to do all this anyway but wanted to mention this situation
Salams sister, honestly I wouldnāt trust such an imam. Thatās pretty messed up. Youāre not supposed to get married again, consummate the marriage just for the purpose of getting back with your first. This can actually come back to hurt you a lot. If he divorced you three full times the first time, heās capable of doing it again. So think very carefully about the situation.
If you want to remarry someone else, go ahead and try to make it work. If it ends up not working out, then so be it and maybe you can give the first husband a chance. But please, for your own sake, do not do halala just to get back with your first.
I know of someone who did and her husband ended up divorcing her again and she was so scarred that she had to go through that whole process of marrying another man and consummating it just for him to easily divorce her again. Not saying this would happen to you and I pray it never does, but please do take your precautions.
First and foremost though, thatās really messed up of the ārespectedā imam. He is taking advantage of your situation. Donāt fall for it
Did the things that led to divorce become fixed? I won't assume that it was just "random" by him.
I won't speak on your question because I don't know the answer.
Yes we did work through and discuss our issues I think we got married quite young and really werenāt ready for it whereas weāre both older now and more mature.
I saw one documentary on it for Imams doing this in UK
Here is the link
I saw this long time back and this post just reminded me of this
https://youtu.be/TlvNMlIMWhw
Iām sorry sisterā¦ that would fall under a ātemporary marriageā which is unlawful. Iād advise you begin looking for other potentials, but not with the intention to eventually get back with your ex husband. this is one of the dangers of some men having little self control with regard to divorceā¦
A marriage that is based on planned divorce to marry your former is invalid ( if the man you marry now knows your intentions), but you also have to consummate the marriage before divorce.
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/158075
Divorce is a very serious matter and to have exhausted all three divorces means, combined with the fact that you both were young at the time, is another way of Allah telling you two to move on with your lives. The imam you went to gave very questionable advice that is forbidden if undertaken - Allah knows your intentions. You and your ex-husband know the true answer, but the answer clearly is that at this point in your lives the doors for you both are closed. If Allah wills it will happen but if he doesnāt then it wouldnāt. He knows what we do not and perhaps coming back together may or may not be a good thing. But never marry another person for the intention of getting back with your former - it is extremely unfair on anyone on the other end.
If I'm not mistaken, you are not allowed to marry someone with the intention of divorce to get back to your ex-husband who divorced you 3 times.
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/111841
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/169557
Report the imam first and foremost. He sounds super shady and i foresee this guy making it into FACE. I mean its not just about you but its moreso protecting others.
I guess the marriage should be like any other marriage, if you married the imam it should be for the purpose of staying with him ... Otherwise you are playing games with Allah
Ų§ŁŁ ŲµŲÆŲ±
https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/8245/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%D9%8A%D9%84
A Sheikh...that is marrying you for the reason of divorcing you ... something doesn't seem right...I understand if you marry someone else and if that doesn't work and you remarry your ex but this situation doesn't seem right
Lol this imam got a fake degree or what.. stop going to such un knowledge so called imams...
U cant marry someone with an agreement to divorce u... for ur ex husband...
Rest Allah knows better... and u should ask a more knowledge scholar. And seek guidance... this 22 imam does not have much thts for sure :)
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
It's disappointing that this Imam is proposing this. We're strictly prohibited from marrying someone just to divorce them so you can get back to your ex husband. The fact that he actually proposed himself is worrying.
What kind of imam is this? Does he really think these he's found loophole and Allah doesn't see what's in our hear and our intentions?
It's like this news story I saw a while back where in one of the middle eastern countries they let you marry a prostitute to have sex with her and you can divorce her once you're done. They think they're so smart, but it's really ridiculous when you think about it.
Please stay away from this imam and get him exposed in the community. He is subjecting himself, your ex and yourself to the curse of Allah. If you have been divorced 3 times, forget about your ex-husband and find yourself someone else. If one day, you genuinely marry someone else, then you genuinely get divorced, that's another story. But generally, your ex is not for you anymore.
Tbh I have seen such posts all over Reddit from disbelievers who choose Halala marriage topic to degrade Islam. Hot topic in India too. So, this post seems sus to me. Because same context. Imam offered her for marriage etc etc. they need to improvise lol.
Good thing is, the comments on this post make things much clear for the disbelievers in regards to Halala.
If you are going to marry someone just to divorce to marry your husband then it will be trying to deceive Allah(swt) so better just marry your ex husband and ask for forgiveness from Allah(swt).
We commit so many sins already so we can only ask Allah(swt) for forgiveness with clear intention to avoid any sins in future insha'Allah.
Assalamu alaikum wr wb
You need to name and shame this imam who is abusing his position of trust and playing with Allah(swt)'s commandments.
Evil imams like this have shamed Islam in the hands of kuffar.
May Allah(swt) expose these corrupt imams and leaders. Ameenš¤²š¼
You do not have to marry someone else in order to marry your Ex-husband. It is a huge misconception among Muslims. It got nothing to with religion and itās culture. Please do not marry someone else. You can directly remarry to your husband.
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Your desire to patch things up with your ex-husband for the sake of your daughter is understandable but if your ex has given you 3 divorces, then you can not marry him again without marrying someone else and having intimate relations with the new husband. This practice is called Halala.
If your ex-husband has not divorced you 3 times so far, then you can still marry him, no halala needed.
The Halala practice is strictly forbidden if done with the intention of getting back together with your previous husband. I do not know about other countries but in some areas of South Asia, this practice has taken the form of an industry where a so-called Imam would take payment to perform halala for one night and then divorce her so that her ex-husband can marry her again. The lady would still have to wait for 3 months after her halala divorce, as is the case with every divorce.
Even if such an Imam does not take payment, he is still getting his own desires fulfilled which is to have intimate relations with other women (who are not his proper wife) under the guise of this halala practice.
Paid halala or halala with the intention to remarry your ex-husband is completely opposite to Islam's concept of honour.
This Imam is questionable, to say the least. I wish to say some more colorful words for him. Do not follow this Imam(?)'s advice.
What if Imam changes his mind and refuses to divorce? I once watched some tv drama on this . This girl could not find anyone to remarry her ex . Gets married to this poor old man who she used to always shout at and he was a poor plumber of her building or something . Anyways after marriage he refused to divorce her . Please get a proper second opinion .
Iād listen to the advice given in the comments and Iād like to add one thing. Are you sure getting back with your ex is the right decision? I know you have a child with him, but surely there was a legit reason for getting a divorce in the first place, especially if 3 talaqs were declared.
Iāve been divorced (with no children) and considered making things work with my ex, but the reasons we split were still there and I really couldnāt look past it.
You cannot bypass the rule of getting married to someone else before remarrying him and there is wisdom in that. Donāt look back, only forward.
I would recommend you to look for another knowledgeable and righteous iman because this seems deliberate planning to marry and divorce for the sake of remarrying your ex husband and itās haram ,it better to have halal relationships to another man than to have haram relationships with your ex because you will not have happy life in haram marriage . https://www.islamweb.net/amp/en/fatwa/87878/
I don't think you can cheat the system by getting into a sham marriage and then breaking it. If that was the case, what would.be the point of the rule?
Can you take this issue to an actual scholar? if he's 22 he probably doesn't have enough knowledge to give Fatwa on this, I am sure in the west you can reach out to an actual scholar right?
In general, I really encourage parties to go for mubarat (dissolution of marriage by mutual consent) which is single irrevocable talaq and immediately dissolves marriage (except that in Pakistan, we still get three months to reconcile before the final certificate of dissolution of marriage is issued) but gives you the chance to remarry the same spouse in the future without halala/ intermediary marriage as well as marry someone else. Unfortunately, a lot many people (at least in Pakistan) think talaq and khula are perhaps the only two modes (though even khula allows you to remarry the same spouse without halala but people are generally not aware of it).
I am afraid that if your divorce was pronounced three times and became effective upon lack of reconciliation then there is no way you could marry your ex spouse except the halala thing.
Please note that halala done with the intention to remarry the ex spouse is a huge sin i.e what your imam has told you is nothing but a "heela" and not something I would ever advocate.
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Did your husband divorce you 3 times? Or was this your first? If he divorced you 3 times (3 talaqs) then you must marry someone before getting back to your ex-husband. And come on, the imam proposing himself šš https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/11798
Yes we had a legit divorce all the Talaqs lol along with a formal legal divorce and we had been separated for the past 4 years and yes he did propose himself haha
Reply, I know someone in a similar situation. There is no way around it, as the link by the poster above says, marrying someone else with the intention to divorce is not valid. May Allah make it easy for you. Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2071, narrated by Ali ibn Abu-Talib, reports that the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: āThe Curse of Allah be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband, and upon the one for whom she is made lawful!ā That's why divorce is considered so serious in Islam: Abu Hurayrah (radiyallahu āanhu) said that Allahās Messenger (salallÄhu āalaihi wassallam) said, āThere are three matters, whether they are undertaken seriously or in jest are taken seriously \[in Islam\]: NikÄh (marriage), divorce and taking oneās wife back (rajāah).ā (Abu Dawood, no. 2194 and the books of Sunan; authenticated by Al-AlbÄni in Al-IrwÄ 1826). https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/
Have you divorced 3 times and finished the 'Ida for the last divorce?
Do you have to separate between each divorce and wait the Ida time for divorce to be actually valid? What if the divorce is said 3 times but there was no separation at all?
i think this is when someone does triple talaq(triple divorce)? like it's when they say talaq (divorce) 3 times in a row and so therefore divorce is immediate with no chance of reconciliation. i believe scholars highly discourage this kind of divorce, but it's valid
And what if it was said in different times but no separation between each time?
yea sorry not sure, this is all confusing, because i'm reading other replies here and people have linked some resources and clarification on that , u can check it out
Even if it's said once and 3 months passes and both don't reconsiders then it will be like 3 talaq. To the best of my knowledge
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I don't think that applies here brother, the 3 divorces are for one divorce, but for a divorce to count you have to say it 3 times, not get divorced 3 times. Unless I am mistaken, plus I think you can't marry, with the intention to divorce. The trusted local imam doesn't seems very smart, he is trying to trick Allah? Lol, I would advise to get married to your ex, ask for forgiveness, he is known as all forgiving
I think you are mistaken indeed. Whether it's been said 3 times in one go, or they "physically" divorced 3 times then remarrying is invalid in both cases. BUT there might be a way to salvage the 3 talaqs if said in one row and that would be the intention. Did her husband divorce her with the intention of 1, but repeated 3 times to insist on how serious he is? Or did he divorce her with the intention of 3? If it's the first case, they can remarry because it counts as one divorce and not 3. If it's the latter, unfortunately there's no way around it. And you're absolutely right, the imam isn't that "serious" because you can't marry someone else with the intention of divorcing, to remarry your ex š
Hey you learn something new everyday, might need that in the future lol I am sure the imam was just joking lol, I can imagine the imam not divorcing after the marriage lmao
Hopefully not! And exactly what I thought haha, he just wants her š¤£
š«”š«”š
Oh my god what am I reading here š± I donāt think this is right considering youād have to consummate the marriage with the imam and then divorce him - which he is preplanning and is advising you to do. That goes against the virtue of a Nikkah imo. Thatās just a twisted, extorted loophole if you ask me.
what kind of Imam even thinks of approving something like that? they just letting anyone become an Imam these days looool
Only genz thinks like thatš like everything is possible according to them remember heās only 22š he forgot that he was imam and tried to shoot his shot
LOOOOL innit?! I died laughing after I read 22. did he start getting his qualifications at 12 to end up being an Imam at 22?! being an Imam is very serious, it takes a while and most if not all Imams have years if not decades of higher Islamic education and credentials. š
Sounds like a halala offer which seems quite dubious. There's actually a documentary about it on YouTube.
Yes, there was a BBC investigation on the halala marriage, many online services available for women who pay to marry, consummate marriage and divorce just to get back with their husbands. This is forbidden.
La howla wa la kuwata Ila bila Man that is just so wrong and so upsetting to hear that people do this.
Technically without planning this out a person who sees a formerly married couple suffering after a divorce can volunteer to marry her with the secret intention of divorcing her to reunite the couple. And this isnāt an easy thing to do since he could fall in love with her. However, if the couple hatch up a plan to get the wife to marry a strange man and then divorce him after consummating the marriage then this is hated by Allah and wrong.
Thereās no requirement to consummate the marriage. https://islamqa.info/en/225 https://islamqa.info/en/answers/225/no-prescribed-period-for-consummating-marriage
Wrong bruh stop spreading lies brother. Intimacy Is a must as the prophet p.bu.h said
I provided a direct link that proves my statement. Youāve been unable to do the same.
Why did she re-marry? Just to legitimize her return? She should not enter into a marriage with that intention. If she does so, what remedy is there for a woman who does not accept the dignity granted to her by Shariah. She is subjecting herself to a process for her abusive ex-husband. 2. You state you will never go to a non-virgin. If you feel like that, you can be a perfect husband and never divorce your wife for her to be ādirtiedā by another man. If you do divorce her, why would you be worried about her being dirtied for you. You did worse to her by your abuse to her than her merely being dirtied. An abusive husband probably needed more psychological punishment but Allah restricted it only to halalah which you refer to as dirtied. If the ex-husband feels she is dirtied he doesnāt have to take her back if he doesnāt want to. Nobody forces him to do so. It is his choice. He must decide. If he takes her back, why call her dirty. You can read (https://islamqa.org/hanafi/askimam/17229/why-must-the-wife-consummate-with-new-husband-b4-she-remarries/)
What are you even talking about? I never said anything about virgins or halalah. The original commenter made a statement that the marriage would have to be consummated. There is no requirement for consummating a marriage. In fact, there are even separate rules for divorcing when a marriage has not been consummated. https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/175624 In addition, consummating the marriage does not mean sex. It can be any private action that only a husband and wife can do together. https://www.mathabah.org/consummation-of-marriage-with-or-without-intercourse/ What the sister in the OP is saying is not even allowed in the first place and Iām not trying to justify it either. Iām simply replying to a comment that said that consummating a marriage is a requirement for it to be valid, which is incorrect.
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No it's not. You don't have to fornicate for a marriage to be valid. For a marriage to be valid all you need is the following; full consent of both partners to the marriage, expressing the above consent through ijab (offer) and qabul (acceptance), finally the presence of two reliable witnesses.
My exact thoughts lol... What are my eyes reading!!!
I would find another imam lmao
Someone should report this so-called "imam." His proposal is Haram: āThe Curse of Allah be upon the one who marries a divorced woman with the intention of making her lawful for her former husband, and upon the one for whom she is made lawful!ā - Sunan Abu Dawud
Is that from a hadith?
Yep, it's a hadith.
Which one?
other people linked it: https://hadeethenc.com/en/browse/hadith/58076
This you? https://www.reddit.com/r/blackmagic/comments/yu3zxo/spell_to_take_over_someones_body/iw7nif0?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Bruhhh wth....
What the heck? That is indeed her! SubhanAllah. Allah's refuge is sought. [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/12578/witchcraft-and-seeking-help-from-practitioners-of-it](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/12578/witchcraft-and-seeking-help-from-practitioners-of-it) [https://islamqa.info/en/answers/9432/sihr-and-its-types](https://islamqa.info/en/answers/9432/sihr-and-its-types)
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May the almighty bless you brother.
Broā¦
My thoughts exactly
If you spoke to an imam who is known etc why didnāt you ask him the details? I mean he even offered himself to marry you and you really didnāt go over what that entails? it canāt be planned like that. This is haram. I donāt want to doubt the imam but surely this is something he should have known.
He did go through it and did mention weād have to consummate otherwise the marriage wouldnāt be valid Iām just looking for other opinions along with if there are anyways around this not sure if it was dubious that he offered himself but he seemed very respectable.
even if this was halal... the consummation alone would definitely give me pause. I'm not letting some strange man be intimate with me just so i can get back with my ex. and if your ex is ok with that, that would concern me, too.
Other people have mentioned and given you sources why this isnāt allowed.
Yes I am reading through
did you really come here to brag about your situation sister? assuming it is true lol the reddit sub does not have more knowledge than the imam and if you are truly looking for religious solutions a sub is not the place to look for them
Look up bragging in the dictionary.
Is this imam Shia or something
I know it of by heart
What is she bragging about? She's asking a legitimate question and is obviously very confused and torn about the situation.
Thank you! Exactly.
Sister, Long story short - Haram Heretic imam who said this.
did the imam not answer?
For real akth, this sounds boooky
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Do you really want to understand or just want to prove your thought about Islam? Can you look into the topic and see that the rule is legitly trying to protect women not to go back to ex?? There's a very low possibility where someone had an ex and divorce them 3 times (I mean legit divorce not children plays) then marry another man and still go back to the previous ex (Someone who's probably abusive or sort ). If there's no rule like that the op may be married again to her ex and the chain keep going imagine if its abusive.
Please go this OP history post she said lost her virginity, seduced a priest, attended party with male strippers.
Oh, just commenting base on this thread, and sincerely I was surprised how you get to the "Islam" comment cause that's a pretty good rule. It can be a benefit for both gender Wallahu Ahlam
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Well from what was explained to me by the imam is that itās a counter measure for divorce and for it to not be taken lightly along with abused former spouses who would immediately get back with their spouses so itās there as counter measures for that but I do get your point it is difficult. In terms of if I get pregnant by him Iād put that down to Allah if itās supposed to happen it will but all in all it is for me and my ex partner to get back together only reason Iām considering this.
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Iām sorry you feel this way. Know that Islam is perfect but people are imperfect. Let me give you an example. Couple are having a hard time with each other. 1st talaq is given (but talaq canāt be given if the wife is on her period since women are very weak, heightened emotions, etc (look how Merciful Allah is that he knows what us women go through)). 3 month ida period starts. Beds are separated. Here it is a chance to see if they really need to be separated or was that something done during heated moment. During that time it is also to ensure the wife isnāt pregnant. Letās say the couple went back together during that idah period. After 2-3 years, another situation arose and 2nd talaq was stated. Another 3 month ida period happens. Another chance for the couple to reconcile. And during that time they get back together. Another some time passes and 3rd talaq is spoken. Another idah period is given to ensure the wife isnāt pregnant but cannot reconcile the marriage. Marriage is very sacred in Islam. Maybe these two arenāt fit together and even 2 chance were given, they couldnāt make it work. So Allah gives a chance to the women to have them seek a spouse who they live in harmony. And letās say the wife did find someone. They got married (for the sale of marriage and actually working on it) and continued their lives (for the exampleās sake) they didnāt get along. Went through 3 talaq process. THEEENNN the ex-husband from the first marriage can re-propose. If that 3 talaq rule wasnāt placed then men would be giving talaq left-and- right knowing they will get back together when they want and there would be no respect to the marriage. Allahu Alam Hope this example clarifies anything that needed to be.
Iām 30 years old myself if you want you can DM me to discuss things
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Defoe sis .
Please wake up. This person is a fake imam, what he is asking you to do is not permissible. You need to genuinely marry someone and make an effort to make the marriage work. *if you marry someone to divorce and marry your husband, Allah is all seeing and hearing. This marriage will be invalid* Whoever is encouraging this behaviour needs to go and learn the Fiqh of talaaq and marriage.
Assalamu alaykum, Sister! Please don't really on Reddit or random 20-something year olds around you for deen! Here is a brief explanation of remarriage in Islam. https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/11798 Another article https://abukhadeejah.com/divorce-talaq-iddah-remarriage-khula/ Please read them! Do not marry and consumate your marriage with another man just to remarry your original husband. If your intention going in to the new marriage is to remarry your original husband, then read this: āAliĀ (may Allah be pleased with him)Ā reported that the ProphetĀ (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)Ā said:Ā "May Allah curse the Muhallil and the Muhallal lahu."Ā Ā Sahih/Authentic.Ā - [Ibn Maajah] Explanation When a wife is divorced for the third time, she is no longer lawful for her husband until she is married to another man, who should consummate marriage with her. Therefore, some people resort to circumventing legal rulings. An ex-husband would arrange with another man to marry his irrevocably divorced woman through a sham marriage and then divorce her, not intending the Shariah-approved marriage thereby, but with the sole purpose of rendering the irrevocably divorced wife lawful to her ex-husband. Due to such circumvention of Islamic rulings, and for the meanness and the lack of a sense of honor involved in this behavior, the ProphetĀ (may Allah's peace and blessings be upon him)Ā forbade this kind of marriage and invoked curse and expulsion of Allah's mercy on the Muhallil and the Muhallah lahu. Source: https://hadeethenc.com/en/browse/hadith/58076
Your post history is confusingā¦canāt take this seriously
Well it is true all of it post history and this
Were they separate talaqs (with iddah each time) or just said at once? There is a difference of opinion amongst the scholars that even if Talaq is said 3 times it will only count as once per time. And I believe that is noted as the most correct opinion. See: https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/96194
3 times at once
In that case that is ONE divorce. If it happened like this, this would be 3 divorces: 1. Divorce - iddah, takes back within 3 months 2. Divorce - iddah, takes back within 3 months 3. Divorce - iddah, does not take back within 3 months Otherwise, it is counted as one divorce. It does not matter how many times you have āproclaimedā divorce over and over again at once. Speak to a sheikh. Probably anyone who studied at the university of madinah will confirm this is the most right opinion.
I was looking for this comment and I'm surprised it's not further up. A lot of people think saying talaq 3 times is 3 divorces. Pakistani dramas haven't helped either lol
This link talks about it more extensively: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/126549/he-divorced-her-once-then-she-came-back-and-he-divorced-her-twice-during-the-iddah And to have ehsaan would be to speak to a sheikh (not imam), so please do so.
Most people don't know this.
Sorry , but what kind of Imam would even suggest a marriage and pre planned divorce ? This is Haram according to Islam and it is worse than Zina .
Whereās its haram?
If you do read Arabic ,, here is the fatwa below ,, and there is ijmaa on it. Just think about it for a minute .. A valid marriage can't have an "End date". If you happen to marry a new man- after your ex divorced you 3 times- WITHOUT the intention of getting divorced to that new man, but then things happened and you were divorced again , only then you can re-marry your 1st husband. Going around marrying someone for a night then getting a divorce is just funny. https://www.islamweb.net/ar/fatwa/38431/%D9%86%D9%83%D8%A7%D8%AD-%D8%A7%D9%84%D9%85%D8%AD%D9%84%D9%84-%D8%AD%D8%B1%D8%A7%D9%85-%D8%A8%D8%A7%D8%B7%D9%84-%D9%84%D8%A7-%D9%8A%D9%81%D9%8A%D8%AF-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AD%D9%84
Sister, in one of your comments on another post, you mentioned you seduced a priest, is that the same imam you both went to get married again? You said your body count is 30 and your husband had cheated previously with whose husband you had done the same so are you both ok with it now and forgiven each other? Would you both be able to live together Islamically now insha'Allah? May Allah(swt) guide us all and protect us from haraam things. Ameenš¤²š¼
Iām not going to pretend to be an angel. I am not, Iām flawed and have done wrong the priest and this imam are not the same person I wasnāt doing well financially and just tried getting extra help from him. The rest is all true again Iāve made many mistakes I do my best to repent weāve spoken about our struggles and want to move forward for our daughter, inshallah Allah makes us better and gives guidance.
Ameen, my sister..may Allah(swt) keep us all on the right path in this difficult world. Ameen.
So what the imam recommended is a known practice called nikkah halala and, honestly I find the fact that he suggested it kinda messed up. I'm also sus of a 22 year old with a great reputation, how much education and training can he possibly have. How does one built a great reputation after so little time. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah\_halala](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_halala) Also in the UK this has been reported as a way for imams to exploit women in their communities so please tread very carefully [https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39480846](https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-39480846) Also the following source does seem to imply that halala may not even be necessary, assuming what happened between the two of you wasn't a triple talaq, so at the very least get another opinion [https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/remarrying-ones-former-husband/](https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/remarrying-ones-former-husband/)
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
It's great if he's helped ppl in his community, but I would not trust someone with that background in this kind of situation normally, and I think he's given you great reason to never go back to him in the future.
Astghfiullah, how can an imam be like that, This is completely void and anyone knows it.
Sounds like the imam just wants you
He was very polite and came off respectable and has a good reputation he did say it didnāt have to be him but did offer himself up
Well of course be did. How do you think scandalous guys get to be intimate with girls. Have to appear respectful, polite and charming to lure them in. Nobody who respects themselves or you would suggest this.
He's 22, how can he possibly have a good reputation. Imams around me have multiple degrees from Islamic universities across many countries, this man is a baby compared to that. Also, yea, I'm sorry but abusers and exploiters are often charming and respectable. They have to be to get away with stuff.
What if you go with imam/any other for a week and he wonāt let you go/divorce then? Do you just nikaahhh with some man or hv intimacy as well? Imo you should consult with some other leading imams And see what your options are? Though why you wanna be back with him? What changes in four years?
everyone has already said how it's a bad idea and haram so maybe not helpful to say this, but I remember a post here awhile ago, where the woman did nikkah with the guy, and his friend was the imam, & they didn't do a civil marriage either. the guy would not give her a divorce when she eventually wanted one, & since imam was his friend he wouldn't allow her to do khula either. i think she had a hard time finding anyone else to give her khula. some ppl have commented that what if this imam marries u but refuses to give u divorce. it's already haram to do all this anyway but wanted to mention this situation
22yr old imam was enough to not suprise me about the ending of your post lol
Salams sister, honestly I wouldnāt trust such an imam. Thatās pretty messed up. Youāre not supposed to get married again, consummate the marriage just for the purpose of getting back with your first. This can actually come back to hurt you a lot. If he divorced you three full times the first time, heās capable of doing it again. So think very carefully about the situation. If you want to remarry someone else, go ahead and try to make it work. If it ends up not working out, then so be it and maybe you can give the first husband a chance. But please, for your own sake, do not do halala just to get back with your first. I know of someone who did and her husband ended up divorcing her again and she was so scarred that she had to go through that whole process of marrying another man and consummating it just for him to easily divorce her again. Not saying this would happen to you and I pray it never does, but please do take your precautions. First and foremost though, thatās really messed up of the ārespectedā imam. He is taking advantage of your situation. Donāt fall for it
Did the things that led to divorce become fixed? I won't assume that it was just "random" by him. I won't speak on your question because I don't know the answer.
Yes we did work through and discuss our issues I think we got married quite young and really werenāt ready for it whereas weāre both older now and more mature.
Ok, just wanted to make sure your child wasn't the ONLY reason you wanted to get back together.
She is a huge factor too
Iām pretty sure itās haram to marry someone else with the intent of divorcing and going back to your original spouse.
Whereās it say that
There you go https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikah_halala
I saw one documentary on it for Imams doing this in UK Here is the link I saw this long time back and this post just reminded me of this https://youtu.be/TlvNMlIMWhw
Iām sorry sisterā¦ that would fall under a ātemporary marriageā which is unlawful. Iād advise you begin looking for other potentials, but not with the intention to eventually get back with your ex husband. this is one of the dangers of some men having little self control with regard to divorceā¦
A marriage that is based on planned divorce to marry your former is invalid ( if the man you marry now knows your intentions), but you also have to consummate the marriage before divorce. https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/158075
Divorce is a very serious matter and to have exhausted all three divorces means, combined with the fact that you both were young at the time, is another way of Allah telling you two to move on with your lives. The imam you went to gave very questionable advice that is forbidden if undertaken - Allah knows your intentions. You and your ex-husband know the true answer, but the answer clearly is that at this point in your lives the doors for you both are closed. If Allah wills it will happen but if he doesnāt then it wouldnāt. He knows what we do not and perhaps coming back together may or may not be a good thing. But never marry another person for the intention of getting back with your former - it is extremely unfair on anyone on the other end.
If I'm not mistaken, you are not allowed to marry someone with the intention of divorce to get back to your ex-husband who divorced you 3 times. https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/111841 https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/169557
Report the imam first and foremost. He sounds super shady and i foresee this guy making it into FACE. I mean its not just about you but its moreso protecting others.
I guess the marriage should be like any other marriage, if you married the imam it should be for the purpose of staying with him ... Otherwise you are playing games with Allah Ų§ŁŁ ŲµŲÆŲ± https://binbaz.org.sa/fatwas/8245/%D8%AD%D9%83%D9%85-%D8%B2%D9%88%D8%A7%D8%AC-%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%AA%D8%AD%D9%84%D9%8A%D9%84
May Allah have mercy on Ibn Baz and raise his ranks in Jannah.
A Sheikh...that is marrying you for the reason of divorcing you ... something doesn't seem right...I understand if you marry someone else and if that doesn't work and you remarry your ex but this situation doesn't seem right
Lol this imam got a fake degree or what.. stop going to such un knowledge so called imams... U cant marry someone with an agreement to divorce u... for ur ex husband... Rest Allah knows better... and u should ask a more knowledge scholar. And seek guidance... this 22 imam does not have much thts for sure :)
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
This imam has a good rep?? Not a good idea.
Yes we will look to get another opinion in terms of the imam heās been one since he was 17 and has helped people I know with their issues in regards to many things he essentially helped my aunt remove black magic and evil eye that was cast on her and he didnāt charge her a penny heās also helped me and my ex husband with that already too and does teach for free without charging too
It's disappointing that this Imam is proposing this. We're strictly prohibited from marrying someone just to divorce them so you can get back to your ex husband. The fact that he actually proposed himself is worrying.
Your imam obviously doesn't have enough knowledge about Islam.
Questionable imam š
What kind of imam is this? Does he really think these he's found loophole and Allah doesn't see what's in our hear and our intentions? It's like this news story I saw a while back where in one of the middle eastern countries they let you marry a prostitute to have sex with her and you can divorce her once you're done. They think they're so smart, but it's really ridiculous when you think about it.
I think OP already knows the answer that halala is haram. And that Imam is he progressive ?
Progressive in what sense?
One who try to change Islam saying Islam does not this modern world.
No he isnāt
That imam should not be in position he is in, clearly he lacks basic Ismalic knowledge... Edit: grammar
Please stay away from this imam and get him exposed in the community. He is subjecting himself, your ex and yourself to the curse of Allah. If you have been divorced 3 times, forget about your ex-husband and find yourself someone else. If one day, you genuinely marry someone else, then you genuinely get divorced, that's another story. But generally, your ex is not for you anymore.
Brah the imam wants to get laid.
Brah, OP is sus. Look at her profile once
Ayo the black magic thing was super sus
Tbh I have seen such posts all over Reddit from disbelievers who choose Halala marriage topic to degrade Islam. Hot topic in India too. So, this post seems sus to me. Because same context. Imam offered her for marriage etc etc. they need to improvise lol. Good thing is, the comments on this post make things much clear for the disbelievers in regards to Halala.
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Seriously and to offer himself curious to know what the husband reaction was.
If you are going to marry someone just to divorce to marry your husband then it will be trying to deceive Allah(swt) so better just marry your ex husband and ask for forgiveness from Allah(swt). We commit so many sins already so we can only ask Allah(swt) for forgiveness with clear intention to avoid any sins in future insha'Allah.
Just get remarried to your ex-husband.... Simples
Assalamu alaikum wr wb You need to name and shame this imam who is abusing his position of trust and playing with Allah(swt)'s commandments. Evil imams like this have shamed Islam in the hands of kuffar. May Allah(swt) expose these corrupt imams and leaders. Ameenš¤²š¼
Maybe ask a scholar. Sites such as Seekersguidance and daral ifta of Egypt probably have already answered such a question and if not you can ask them.
You do not have to marry someone else in order to marry your Ex-husband. It is a huge misconception among Muslims. It got nothing to with religion and itās culture. Please do not marry someone else. You can directly remarry to your husband.
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Well he did. The answer was we would have to consummate it otherwise the marriage wouldnāt be considered valid?
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And after divorce you have to stay with your husband for three months, and if things still didnāt worked out them you are officially divorced.
Your desire to patch things up with your ex-husband for the sake of your daughter is understandable but if your ex has given you 3 divorces, then you can not marry him again without marrying someone else and having intimate relations with the new husband. This practice is called Halala. If your ex-husband has not divorced you 3 times so far, then you can still marry him, no halala needed. The Halala practice is strictly forbidden if done with the intention of getting back together with your previous husband. I do not know about other countries but in some areas of South Asia, this practice has taken the form of an industry where a so-called Imam would take payment to perform halala for one night and then divorce her so that her ex-husband can marry her again. The lady would still have to wait for 3 months after her halala divorce, as is the case with every divorce. Even if such an Imam does not take payment, he is still getting his own desires fulfilled which is to have intimate relations with other women (who are not his proper wife) under the guise of this halala practice. Paid halala or halala with the intention to remarry your ex-husband is completely opposite to Islam's concept of honour. This Imam is questionable, to say the least. I wish to say some more colorful words for him. Do not follow this Imam(?)'s advice.
What if Imam changes his mind and refuses to divorce? I once watched some tv drama on this . This girl could not find anyone to remarry her ex . Gets married to this poor old man who she used to always shout at and he was a poor plumber of her building or something . Anyways after marriage he refused to divorce her . Please get a proper second opinion .
Iād listen to the advice given in the comments and Iād like to add one thing. Are you sure getting back with your ex is the right decision? I know you have a child with him, but surely there was a legit reason for getting a divorce in the first place, especially if 3 talaqs were declared. Iāve been divorced (with no children) and considered making things work with my ex, but the reasons we split were still there and I really couldnāt look past it. You cannot bypass the rule of getting married to someone else before remarrying him and there is wisdom in that. Donāt look back, only forward.
I would recommend you to look for another knowledgeable and righteous iman because this seems deliberate planning to marry and divorce for the sake of remarrying your ex husband and itās haram ,it better to have halal relationships to another man than to have haram relationships with your ex because you will not have happy life in haram marriage . https://www.islamweb.net/amp/en/fatwa/87878/
Marrying the imam with the intention of divorce? This is quite strange, consult another Imam please.
I don't think you can cheat the system by getting into a sham marriage and then breaking it. If that was the case, what would.be the point of the rule?
Can you take this issue to an actual scholar? if he's 22 he probably doesn't have enough knowledge to give Fatwa on this, I am sure in the west you can reach out to an actual scholar right?
In general, I really encourage parties to go for mubarat (dissolution of marriage by mutual consent) which is single irrevocable talaq and immediately dissolves marriage (except that in Pakistan, we still get three months to reconcile before the final certificate of dissolution of marriage is issued) but gives you the chance to remarry the same spouse in the future without halala/ intermediary marriage as well as marry someone else. Unfortunately, a lot many people (at least in Pakistan) think talaq and khula are perhaps the only two modes (though even khula allows you to remarry the same spouse without halala but people are generally not aware of it). I am afraid that if your divorce was pronounced three times and became effective upon lack of reconciliation then there is no way you could marry your ex spouse except the halala thing. Please note that halala done with the intention to remarry the ex spouse is a huge sin i.e what your imam has told you is nothing but a "heela" and not something I would ever advocate.