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Spiritual_Weird559

the fact that he is influenced by an insta post is very disturbing..


aloowithbiryani

All these kinds of social medias with influencers are cancerous. Can people not think for themselves anymore? Too many bad "role models" out there.


nizanator

I know the exact Insta post you're talking about as well - from a guy who's admitted to beating his ex-wives and son 🥲


Adventurous_Bus1859

No. Way.


hris-canson

Who isn't these days? social media is a cancer to relationships. OP I don't know who this Mahdi guy is (source to post would be helpful) but he doesn't need to be staring at the baby exiting if that's what he's worried about. This is horrible especially if you don't have your mother or someone else to replace him.


30PlusGang

Imagine when Dijjal comes 😂


granitzaka

this is normal these days though, men and women getting influenced easily by these so called “influencers” as if they could suggest no wrong


GandalffTheGrey

Asalamu alaykum sister, sorry that you are going through this right now. Please watch and send this video to your husband where Br Gabriel Al-Romaani refutes Mahdi's view about child birth. I am convinced that it can change your husband's mind insha Allah. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFyW3eCjqCQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFyW3eCjqCQ) Or you can just type "Response to Mahdi Tidjani Part 2 on Child Birth" in youtube and it will be the first result.


aloowithbiryani

I literally just watched this video looking for the original post. It's a great video. OP, I recommend telling him to watch it too. InshaAllah he will understand much better how problematic the Mahdi Tidjani post was.


andidntjustserfdaweb

I wish this was upvoted more


Mhfd86

Sorry to hear this. He should definitely be there with you. Sad to see him get influenced by 1 video lol What if something goes wrong during the delivery and he needs to provide skin to skin, he wont do it cause he is "too much of a man"? Ridiculous.... Sounds like he will also opt out of being a responsible dad too...cause someone on IG told him thats not being a man lol


gatosvatos

Watching a new life enter this world is one of the most beautiful things I've been able to experience. Your husband doesn't know what he's missing and could miss the moment that will change his life forever. May Allah swt make his heart softer 🤲🏻


NaveedQ

Sister this is shameful. I was there for all of the births. You are completely justified in feeling this way.


midnightdrive85

To OP, if you can somehow persuade your husband to realise how Narcissistic this Mahdi Tidjani is, or help him understand that, that man clearly lacks sincerity. I've looked at this Mahdi Tidjani's Instagram profile & his telegram group, I have to say I'm shocked at the content -especially what appears to be promotion of a form of un-islamic marriage. It terrifies me that there are so many Muslims personalities similar to him who are so clearly Narcissistic. There are so many corrupt Muslims influencing the general Muslims today, with no sense of responsibility for their actions, whole lack of sincerity, and just unashamedly unapologetic. They prioritise money and fame above integrity. Our Ummah is doomed for blindly following these wolves in sheep's clothing. Edit: Also to add, the Mahdi Tidjani guy reminds me of that violent, misogynistic, bigot called Andrew Tate.


Friendlyalterme

Bold of him to assume you'll be able to be attracted to him the same if he doesn't be with you...


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calmandhappy1

100% agreed. Hopefully you kicked him out


koalaqueen_

Excuse me????? So he is man enough to get you pregnant but not man enough to sit by you holding your hand and providing support on one of the hardest moments of your life? Disgusting. This is not the example of the prophet (pbuh) and not how the prophet taught us to treat women. This is not the act of a man/husband/father. The prophet s.a.w stopped an entire army to look for Aisha R.a necklace and then you get little boys like this who simply don’t care about their wife. This Mahdi guy on Instagram is not a man to look up to. He promotes pathetic ideals, including something called a “ no strings Nikkah” disgusting. The only man Muslim men should look up to is our prophet (pbuh).


dexterjsdiner

well put masha'Allah.


thr0w4wxy08737

I agree with you. This is my first pregnancy and I’m terrified. I honestly do not know where or how my husband discovered Mahdi Tidjani. I wish he never came across that post.


koalaqueen_

Your husband is selfish end of. Thinking solely about himself and how he would “look at you the same way”. Disgusting. Whilst I do think the post could have had some influence on him , your husband needs to honestly grow a pair and not be so easily influenced by men like this. His wife is birthing his child and he would rather opt out? He should be ashamed.


PerAspera27

Would you also say the wife is being selfish for not respecting her husbands boundaries that he has placed for the long term wellness of his marriage? Both people are being selfish imo, someone just needs to suck it up. Having her mother/sister there for support with her husband on the other side of the wall for a few hours is not a big deal while you may think seeing a women go through labor is not a big deal.


koalaqueen_

Doubt it’s for the longterm wellness of his marriage. He saw a post from some dude and changed his mind😐


PerAspera27

Umm yea, he saw a post that warned about losses in attraction after seeing labor (which definitely does happen), and he didn’t want to take the risk to maintain his marriage long term. Adjusting your views when you hear a perspective that you’ve never considered and agree with, is completely okay, you know? Everyone does this all the time. See this Reddit sub for prime examples.


koalaqueen_

If I was in her position I would lose attractiveness, trust and faith in my husband if he didn’t accompany me in labour. What kind of person do you have to be to think “nah let her go through that herself because I’ll look at her and not want to f*ck her after”? He literally just has to sit there look at her face and ease her worries holding her hand. you should be there for your spouse during there hard moments. Honestly cannot believe some men think like this.


_x_WinterSoldier_x_

Agreed with everything u said 💯


PerAspera27

Exactly, back to my original point. Someone needs to suck it up. The women might lose attraction if he doesn’t attend, and the man might lose attraction if he does. It might be crazy to you because your married and are a women, but it doesn’t sounds so crazy to me. Your attitude of “attraction isn’t important, just support me now” even though the husband will be a few feet away in a room, will see her right after and she’ll have family support isn’t very long term thinking either. I’m honestly surprised women can’t understand this.


koalaqueen_

Just weak. Why does the woman have to suck it up? She’s the one pushing the baby out? OP said her husband doesn’t want to be in the room. And also the only support she wants is her husbands not any other family member. You can’t tell her “suck it up and take your mums support” tf?


PerAspera27

Such a closed, and immature mindset. Clearly your going to remain stubborn and not see the other side of this, so I won’t argue. Good day!


[deleted]

He got HER pregnant, what’s not clicking?


30PlusGang

Is that Mahdi guy the same mahdi who is twice divorced and proudly admitted to beating his wife and child? Good lord. The state of our “men”


midnightdrive85

I didn't even realize this was that same horrible man, it makes so much sense. From looking at his social media pages, it so clear that Mahdi Tidjani is delusional and not right in the head. I just don't understand how or why there are people who support and follow a person with such vile character?!


30PlusGang

Muslim men need to be held accountable, but wallahi sometimes I wonder if these guys are govt agents or zionist puppets sent to ruin our communities. Hell, they could directly be agents of the shaytan, no help from a meddling govt needed loool


koalaqueen_

Correct. That is him.


muslimmmmmm

What's your proof from the Sunnah specifically that the way love and compassion is showed to one's wife is to hold her hand while in labour, cut the umbilical cord, watch the baby come out, etc.?


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koalaqueen_

You clearly missed the whole point of my comment. It’s about showing compassion and care for your wife. Which the prophet s.a.w showed plenty. It’s not about succumbing to any demands, it’s literally about showing love and providing support to your wife, and besides I hardly think wanting your husband with you during labour is a “demand”. I’m not arguing with people like you.


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3laj

There is something horribly wrong with you if you do not believe that a husband should be by his wife's side during the most beautiful and dangerous moment in her life. A husband's duty is to support his spouse through all aspects of life, ESPECIALLY one such that is incredibly painful and potentially life threatening to the woman. I also question whether such a person could be called a man after giving such pathetic excuses.


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zesty_lemon45

I never heard of men losing attraction to women after they see them given birth.


koalaqueen_

Lol clearly someone’s triggered. You always seem to be triggered over my comments. Fun fact- the block button exists.😊


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koalaqueen_

Yeah you are. You’re literally here trying to argue with me. You mad aff “honey”.


Commercial_Storm_800

I agree with every point here. It's obviously unfortunate, but there have been so many instances of men revealing that they're no longer attracted to their partners after witnessing childbirth, no matter how much they try. And that's not anyone's fault. Would the women sacrifice this just for some emotional comfort which could otherwise be given by someone more qualified (like a mother/sister)? Through my work, I've witnessed hundreds of deliveries; they are terrifying and gruesome (which is why I would definitely recommend elective c-sections). I completely empathise with women and what they go through, but I think there should be a non-judgemental and honest discussion beforehand about each partner's wishes.


PerAspera27

I agree with this. Like yea, it’s unfortunate for him not to be there, but if it risks life long attraction that he has no control over - I don’t think it’s a big deal if her mother or sister was there and he was in the waiting room 10 ft away for a couple hours, and saw the baby right after, and resumed his care and support. REAL women and wives actually respect boundaries and their husbands comfort.


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PerAspera27

Oh sorry, let me fix it. “what an animal he is, he’s a disgusting and a sorry excuse for a husband. If he doesn’t support all your desires unconditionally, he’s not a real man, and he’s probably cheating too. Divorce him and focus on you sis”. Please upvote me ladies!


SenatorDino

our prophet Moses or Jesus?


Mistborn54321

So he is saying he is incapable of supporting you through a difficult time because what? You’ll be weak and suffering? Embarrassing. He should be ashamed.


OGHijabi

Men hold their wife's hand during labor. Men feed their wife ice chips during labor. Men are excited to cut the umbilical cord. Men are excited to give the adhaan in their childs ear when they are born. Men are there for every moment because these are supposed to be core memories that strengthen a family. Can a man in your family talk to your husband? Maybe your dad, his dad or if you have an older brother who has been through this?


thr0w4wxy08737

I agree. That’s why I’m so upset, early on in my pregnancy we discussed how excited we both were for the final moments. Now he’s changed his mind. I’ve not told my family but will be soon


OGHijabi

I really hope he is able to see how wrong he is and changes his mind. All the men I know said that watching their wives give birth only strengthened their love for her because they were watching her actively sacrifice her health and comfort to such a level. There are also quite a bit of dad blogs out there where fathers write from their experiences. Those might help change his mind too.


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OGHijabi

Actually most Ulema I know advise muslim men to be in the delivery room. Men not being in the delivery room is usually cultural nonsense about how he may not be attracted to her anymore. https://www.google.com/amp/s/islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/9550 https://www.fatwa.org.au/can-husband-attend-wifes-delivery-of-baby-some-guidelines-for-giving-birth-in-a-hospital.html https://seekersguidance.org/answers/hanafi-fiqh/is-it-permissible-for-a-man-to-watch-his-wife-give-birth/ Edit: Some of the men here need to read Surah Maryam and take note of what Allah says about pregnant women, labor and delivery. Also stop DMing me I'm not going to chat with you.


Competitive_Act_9077

IslamQA is the best out of the 3 links posted for most authentic interpretation of Quran and sunnah, Would advise not to use the other 2, especially avoid seekers guidance cuz of their sufi type tendencies etc


gatosvatos

I'm not familiar with [fatwa.org](https://fatwa.org) but I follow Seekers Guidance answers. Where's your proof that Seekers Guidance isn't an authentic interpretation.


Competitive_Act_9077

Some of their speakers who write on their are teachers or associated with zaytuna , which is well known as a Sufi-liberal organization. U can look it up, see where their fatwa providers teach at or associate with whom and make ur own conclusion And likewise u can then compare to IslamQA and their responses and explanations and make up your own mind


gatosvatos

I love listening to Zaytuna. Shaykh Hamza Yusuf has helped me learn about my deen so much. His lecture on The Life of the Prophet Muhammad is top tier.


Competitive_Act_9077

Oh boi. U shud check this https://muslimskeptic.com/2019/09/11/are-supporting-and-siding-with-tyrants-halal-in-islam-sh-hamza-yusuf/ Allah guide us all ‏‎آمين يارب العالمين


Mysterious_Arugula99

The wording is “there is nothing wrong with it” hence it’s a personal preference and in this case you have this preference bc you were socialized in the west, in most global south countries the men do not enter the delivery room, before hospitalization the women of the house would perform natural births, historically the men have never been in this position and being in the delivery room is a western white custom that Muslim women want to adopt bc of whatever reasons they might have, the key point being both are cultural practices and both are valid as the other, what’s funny tho is many Muslim women come on here to assert there “tradition rights in marriages under Islam” but get upset when traditional culture doesn’t align with there modern reality


Honeydew_Opposite

Can you provide Islamic resources that discourage men from going to the delivery room? Honestly. I am curious as to the reasoning behind it and would like to know whether it is actually cultural or not. Personally, I believe a husband should be in the delivery room with his wife. You were with her when you created the child, so you should be with her for support when she pushes your child out of her body. 🤷‍♀️


Mysterious_Arugula99

Yes I think so too, although no one does this in the global south and it’s definitely a western practice usually the women is surrounded by her female relatives and doctors and nurses


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Munan0n

Except that man literally made that decision because another man made that decision. Secondly, what would that man know about giving birth? He could’ve been standing outside the tent because he has no way to assist his suffering wife .There could be a bunch of reasons why he’s not in there. We have doctors who are assisting the labour, all he has to do is stand by the wife’s head. Meanwhile this husband is a sheep, following a man who alleged abused his wife’s and son. Does that seem like a valid excuse to switch up?


_alhamdulillahalways

As a man reading this thread, I agree with all of this with one exception. The umbilical cord. I mean, I did it with all of my kids but it gave me the heebie jeebies every darn time.


themoasad

Thank you for sharing that. Real men even if the feeling of disgust would occur, it’s suppressed by the need to fulfill his manly obligations as a leader and if the very least give supporting words while holding her hand and perform the Athan.


30PlusGang

Why would feelings of disgust occur? You guys see someone in pain and get disgusted? There’s absolutely no reason you should be standing at her legs (give the healthcare professionals space!) instead of right by her side, holding her hand, wiping the sweat off her face and reassuring her


tReadingwithhope

Exactly, it's the man's child too. I don't see how men can't see that fact.


bigboywasim

At the minimum he should be holding your hand. He doesn’t have to see you giving birth.


ReasonablyDone

Does he want to opt out of being a husband too...


themoasad

Wow. Marriage is hard. Crying about not wanting to see the wife the same way instead of supporting one of the most fearful moments she can go through ( because the chance of death) is what a child does. I’m not even going to mention the insta thing Bc I don’t want to believe a man can be influenced by a 10 second video that much. Hoping for a smooth transition for the baby and you. Congrats


Mental-Vegetable1625

He might change his mind the day of so continue to talk to him and let him know how much it means to you. My husband didn’t see his first three kids born because men aren’t allowed in the room where he’s from. So he was very unsure about it when we had our first together and where I’m from and where we live together It is expected for dad to be there. The time came and he said there was no way he could leave me in that situation. He had never seen me like that before and he couldn’t leave me. He was there with all 3 of our babies together.


JackieChan_fan

I was fortunate enough to be present for all my kids births. The sense of relief when the baby is delivered and the mother and baby are both fine, is overwhelming, Alhamdulillah. I would not have missed any of them for the world, all the bodily fluids are quickly forgotten when witnessing the miracle of life. I'd never been so humbled and thankful like that before.


spacedinosaur12

As a man with a pregnant wife due in a few weeks, I can't imagine not being in the room. I'm sorry you're going thru this. May Allah help you.


cos180

I went to check out the Instagram post you’re referring to, wow just wow. He says “How am I supposed to sleep with her again after witnessing that traumatic nightmare?” 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️


Psychological-Cap350

Is he fan of mahdi tijani cuz this is literally what he said. But yeah he is not a man if he “can’t look at you the same way” honestly he is WEAK


[deleted]

I don’t see the issue with being there during labour. He should be by your side at that moment and holding your hand. He doesn’t have to literally see the baby coming out if you know what I mean.


Confident_Egg_3383

Exactly. Stay at the head. Look at her face or the machine she’s hooked up to.


Confident_Egg_3383

I was at both my children’s births and it brought us closer together. I would have hated to miss either. Doesn’t he want to be the first to see his child and witness their moments. If he doesn’t want to go into Labour with you tell him to stay at home. You’ll be resting when it’s done and don’t want to be disturbed.


heplg

Ask your husband what would our prophet do ? Wasn't he supportive towards his wives? If he can get you pregnant he can watch you give birth to his kids it does not make him less of a man to watch you give birth to our beautiful life.


a_staff_gorilla

That’s honestly so messed up. I’m due this month iA and my husband is thinking the exact opposite. He’s the *only* person he wants there with me, no other family members or me hiring a doula or something. He believes it should be a shared, private, and intimate moment for us and I agree. You might as well tell him that if he doesn’t want to be there for the labor, then he doesn’t need to bother being there for the rest of it. Labor is one of the hardest things you’ll experience and if he can’t support you then, why should he support you at all? He doesn’t get to pick and choose when to participate. That’s not marriage. He needs to set his selfishness aside to be there for you. Maybe he’ll actually gain some respect for you if he *is* present during the labor because it seems like he’s lacking a lot of respect right now. EDIT: Ew just looked up that guy on instagram and he doesn’t seem like someone *anyone* should look up to for Islamic advice. One of his recent posts has a caption making fun of domestic violence against wives Astaghfirullah. And he frequently wears a tank top showing off his body? Laughable.


teedramusa

>This was very shocking as when I was first pregnant he was very supportive. I asked him where this is coming from. He said he saw Mahdi Tidjani’s post on Instagram and he agrees with him Does your husband also know he's also agreeing with someone that admitted themselves that they went to jail for physically abusing their child and their two **different** wives? How do the guys fall so easily for grifters lmao?


Rgb20086

That's how men are in our culture. They want the children but don't want the responsibility. I can assure you that when the baby comes he will not help and just say that it's a women's job. Unfortunately that's how Asian men are bought up. Not all, but most. My friends that married outside the culture are really happy and the ones that married in the culture are not so happy.


anusfalafels

Wow so Mahdi actually has people who agree with him. Sad.Hope your husband doesn’t become like this. Absolutely disgusting ideologies this man (Mahdi tijani) has


dexterjsdiner

id be a man and be with my wife. she is the one doing all the heavy lifting here, she is the one dealing with pregnancy for several months, not me. the least i can do is make things easy for her as the baby grows (like give her a massage, cook and clean for her, get her snacks etc) and be there for and with her when she delivers. it might be traumatizing for the guy, but its a million times worse for her. the least he can do is be there holding her hand. just my thoughts.


thr0w4wxy08737

It’s nice to know men like you exist. Thank you


dexterjsdiner

sadly real men are rare these days. jazakAllah khairan for your kindness. you are welcome to mine any time.


[deleted]

Honestly get a scholar involved But like real men are scared of a little poop huh?


Stunning_Blueberry94

That could scare a man's mind and put him off.


[deleted]

Maybe don’t get her pregnant then???


Stunning_Blueberry94

I didn't get her pregnant, the child was a gift from God.


arwatty

I’ve seen my sister giving birth and the process was so painful just watching couldn’t imagine how she was feeling. He seriously needs to be close to you during this time and give you all the support before and after. Him taking advice from a man who got divorced twice with domestic violence allegations is a really stupid move.


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StrengthOfThePind

Agreed. This is more of a cultural preference. In traditional Asian and North African cultures, the wife's female family members or midwives are with her during the labor. The men usually waited outside or nearby. Personally, my wife wanted me to be there in the delivery room with her both times. I was for the most part, but when her mother arrived I waited in the hallway. I walked in as soon as I heard the babies' cries and whispered the adhaan and iqamat in their ears. Then proceed to spend a few hours tending to my wife. If she has no immediate female family members I would definitely be in the labor room with her.


man_khair

>nd whispered the adhaan and iqamat in their ears. Then proceed to spen one of the few comments pointing out it isnt an islamic tradition persay, varies across cultures and customs. instead of demonizing the husband u actually gave some good input. Needs to be upvoted more


231Abz

Only sensible comment here


[deleted]

Mahdi tidjani is a misogynist and his views are so unislamic, why is he even watching him? Please give us an update sis, my heart breaks for you


chronicster

Also my husband didn’t want to be in the labor room but he ended up being in it and he cried. I’m glad he had his moment. It didn’t change us and he didn’t see me as some magnificent hero for bringing a human being into the world but at least he was there for the first moments


Something_Again

My husband was in the room… not by choice. He didn’t actually realize it was time but by then it was too late. He saw everything. Everything. And what he saw was bad. But not bad enough to not make a second kid. He stayed home for the birth of our second child. My mutual decision. I listened to audiobooks and relaxed and had my baby without having to deal with any husband nonsense. 10/10 would recommend. Stupid to listen to insta people though. And remind him he can stay with you the entire time but step out when the doctors actually come in to deliver.


Science-Friendly

Reading this is painful. You deserve better. But this world is not ideal. As valid are your needs and concerns to have your husband’s support during labour. I don’t think this is something to get divorced over. You are a woman and are enough, unfortunately like you many women had to single handedly give birth before you and will continue to do so after you. Do not let his lack of support and appreciation take away from the beauty of labour. It’s sad that he turned out to be so regressive even in 2022 but it’s not surprising. Have someone who truely loves you in the labour room like your mom. Don’t let him off the hook so easily, he clearly does not care enough to understand his wife’s wants and needs, he needs to be reminded everyday about how disappointing and embarrassing he is as a husband and as a father until he regrets his mistake and apologizes to the *both* of you (the baby and you). Since all he did was give you the sperm, whereas you did all the heavy lifting without any of his support. He couldn’t even do the bare minimum here, what a shame.


Psychological-Cap350

But it is true most men were never part of Labour and delivery, and it is a new thing. It is allowed But they don’t have to watch.


rizay

What is wrong with this generation of brothers? We’re becoming soft like the rest of society. I’ll probably get downvoted lol


CapitanBit

Why it feel like a troll post


man_khair

fr lmaoo


[deleted]

I don’t agree with his said reasoning as to not attend the labor. I for one attended all six of my children’s birth. For some men it may be a problem it’s a mental problem actually and women should understand this. It’s better in the long run. it’s almost like for some people they can’t stand to see blood and makes them very uncomfortable. I actually had a neighbor who passed away in the labor room. He never attended the labor until his seventh child .He saw what the wife was going through and ended up passing away right there in the hospital. May Allah have mercy on him. This is not something to divorce over. Proper advice needs to be given. And just to add a tad bit more the man and the delivery room is not Islamically necessary for the most part in the history of Islam it’s usually the woman that attend her and aid her once the baby comes the man enters and the rest is easy. I just had a son a few months ago here in Madina Saudi Arabia and I was not allowed to enter the delivery room


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Akward_Muslimah

>he MIGHT experience He is selfish and he is using selfish speakers to cover his tracks.


231Abz

>The state of men (or lack thereof) is perpetually terrifying Please don't generalise


muslimmmmmm

For those using the example of the Prophet SAWS as a role model for being inside the labour room, can anyone provide proof that he or any of the companions were present beside their wife at the time of labour? Not talking about being nearby and ready to help but actually seeing the baby coming out or cutting the umbilical cord, etc.


Lonsit

This is definitely a troll post. The people on this sub are too gullible sometimes.


thr0w4wxy08737

I can assure you this is not a troll post. If you have nothing nice to say or any advice to give then please leave. This is my life and something I unfortunately have to deal with.


Lonsit

So you want to tell me that your husband, who was very supporting towards you and your pregnancy before, made a 180° change because of some obscure guy with 3k followers on Instagram? A guy most normal people outside of this sub probably never even heard of? And all of this coming from a fresh throwaway? Yeah, I am sorry, but I refuse to believe that such people exist.


thr0w4wxy08737

Yes. Exactly that. He has started to watch this guys videos/ lives etc. i thought it was harmless. Clearly not. He said there’s nothing in Islam that proves a man should be there and thus is not a man’s place to be there. He sent me the post and I expressed my thoughts about it. We had a little argument because he said it’s true and he wouldn’t want to see the woman he’s going to give more children to in that state because he wouldnt see me the same. Closer to my due date he’s fully said he won’t be there and to ask my mother instead whilst he waits outside.


man_khair

its not as bad as most people point it out to be. it can make the man more hesitant in the future to engage in intimacy with the intention of having children in the future, as the image of you going through that can traumatize him.Not taking away from the fact its even more dfficult for the woman ( you ) to endure it. All in all not every man is the same some may have a stronger stomach and are able to digest that situation , some men not so much May Allah ease your state of Affairs


NaiveA2

There's no reason why a man should be in the delivery room, it's just a romanticized idea. I don't want to make myself look foolish in front of other people. And me looking at my wife's body and the birth could put me off for good. And in some parts of the world, women give birth all by themselves and cut the cord. And as one brother said, I could do something more useful than just be like a sign post. If something went wrong, I would just be an obstruction. Check this fatwa Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. There is nothing wrong with a husband being present at wife's labour, because there is no Awrah between a woman and her husband. The evidence of this is the Saying of Allah, {…They are Lîbas \[i.e. body cover, or screen, or Sakan, (i.e. you enjoy the pleasure of living with her - as in Verse 7:189) Tafsir At-Tabarî\], for you and you are the same for them.}\[2:187\]. The Messenger of Allah (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) and his wife used to bathe together as it is authentically reported in the Saheehs of Al-Bukhari and Muslim . Both compilers also reported that 'Ayisha narrated manner of Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam)'s bath. The husband has greater right to attend his wife's labour than the midwives. The midwives are only allowed to do so out of necessity. As for the husband, he has every right to see his wife's nakedness even if there is no necessity. **This is the best ruling. However, we believe that the husband should not look at his wife's nakedness during labour because the scene may look repulsive to him. Allah knows best.**


emachines34

haha downvoted for posting a legit fatwa


man_khair

>fax


HeavyPing1057

Explain to him he doesn't need to look to the baby being born. Just to you and hold your hand. At the same time try be considerate. This is a thing that happens in modern times. In other times the birth was done without any man present. Also he gave you reasons for his fear.


Friendlyalterme

>At the same time be considerate Lost me here.


HeavyPing1057

Edited to have an extra "try" there. Understanding and dialogue is the path forward.


Friendlyalterme

Yes the pregnant woman about to bring his child into the world should consider that he doesn't want to see an icky vagina


emachines34

I think you are just making a big deal out of nothing. Some men are just not designed for this, I personally saw a birth on video during a Science class in school and my heart went through my backside. I'm sure he still cares for you and loves you. Dont end your marriage over such matters.


chronicster

Oh my god. If a man isn’t “designed” to be there for birth then he has no business having intercourse. Unreal


bitsyambivert_

FACTS.


Snoo61048

Trolling for sure


emachines34

wouldnt surprise me


andreasfalafel

I hope this post was not fabricated to taint brother Mahdi’s name. Also don’t see the big deal honestly if he is not there, there are midwives and doctors present if anything is to go wrong. He can just wait outside and do Adhan after.


muibong

Y’all do realize that the brother is opting out because he is freaking out, right? As salam aleikum ya ukhti, I have a few questions. Was he supportive throughout the pregnancy? Was he involved? Does he seem genuinely interested in the delivery? Are you generally satisfied with how he treats you? If you answer yes to these questions, as I suspect you will, allow me to ask you to take a step back! He was neither influenced, nor coerced. Your husband’s scared, and anxious. The post he saw online provided him with an intellectual reasoning for opting out. Simple really. Now, you can listen to the shayatins in your hears and end this mariage, thus leaving a very good brother ( you wouldn’t be him, if not ). Or you can see this issue for what it is: your husbands is afraid. You must admit that all the videos and testimonies online do not paint an easy sight! So try to reassure him that he doesn’t have to see anything going on down there if doesn’t want to. And also remind him that his presence will be soothing and that you need him there. If he still doesn’t want to be in the room, don’t destroy your home for it. I hope this helps! Wa salam


thr0w4wxy08737

No my husband is not afraid or freaking out. He was excited and on board at the beginning on my pregnancy. He now does not want to be part of delivery or even before delivery whilst I’m waiting. He thinks my mother should be in the room with me whilst him outside. He said he doesn’t want to see me in that state because he’s going to be giving me more children and seeing me in that state will make him view me differently .


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LadyWithABookOrTwo

You do know things can go very very wrong in labor as in child and mother can die etc? Could you forgive yourself if you werent there


koalaqueen_

Get some rest…. Whilst your wife is in labour? You would get some rest?? Women don’t just need physical support they need emotional support too. 🤷🏼‍♀️


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koalaqueen_

Why are you tired? Are you pushing a baby out? are you going through immense pain? How can you leave your wife during labour to “get some rest”. What if something were to go wrong during labour? You’d be at home cooking and making the bed and “resting”?🤦‍♀️ She shouldn’t have to call you to be there for her. You should be there for her from the start full stop.


thr0w4wxy08737

That’s not fair. I’m a woman and I know how to take care of my house. Im going into labour soon , I’m going to make sure everything I need when I’m home is already prepared for me. My mother can do that too. I just want my husband with me holding my hand, distracting me from my anxiety etc.


Confident_Egg_3383

Nooo just nooo.


OGHijabi

Not get some rest 💀


Mhfd86

Hahahahahahahahhaa I hope this a troll post. You sound pretty clueless on this topic...


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Lenoxx97

Yeah you might want to ask your mom about that


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