By - throwaway123-223
Most couples go through some type of hard times. Alhumdulillah after coming on here one notices how blessed they really are.
I found out my sister was struggling because my brother in laws umbilical cord was still attached so it was like she married her mother law. Her life was hell. But she is still silent. They have moved country and seem to be doing better but she doesn’t like talking about it and endures.
There were no signs at all. My mother picked up on it when she went on holiday to visit my sister and accidentally found anti depressants and asked my sister about it.
As for what I learned. I started examining behaviour of married people around me so I knew how to be a good husband and not let my wife feel the same things
Umbilical cord was still attached. 😂😂😭
I was like poor thing has a medical condition 🥲. Then it clicked for me
Hahaha me too, I was like oh no sounds serious(ly weird) and then it clicked
I try to cut but it feels unbreakable.
I was almost ready to google this condition
It’s a joke made by Tanmay Bhat on comicstan!!
Maybe this is Tanmay Bhatt too 😂
Scary situation to be in marrying mamas boiz
>brother in laws umbilical cord was still attached
Sad and true in many cases!!! 😔
I legit thought that was literal...and started assuming it can be a thing.
so I'm not the only one haha
😂 same, till I read the explanation
I literally tried to make sense of it for several minutes, and got to know the meaning later in comments. Never came across such weird idioms. Also, the idiom doesn’t sound good aesthetically.
Wait I'm so curious how come it's still attached and why is it like she married her mil? :o
It a way of saying that he was not capable of making his own decisions and reported every conversation they had to his mother and his mother made the decisions in their relationship
Thank you for explaining
Dude can’t believe you had to explain that, I hope the other guy was joking for his sake
I’m hoping that it is because he may not understand English properly. If not allahu 3alam
Oh right I guess that makes sense
wow you're so rude. English is not my first language and I took it too literal.. damn I'm embarrassed 😂 and I'm a sister btw
No worries—I'm sure because you asked, others who might have also missed the joke were able to understand it. Thanks for taking one for the team. 👍🏽
Sorry! I honestly thought you were joking or being sarcastic
Pretty sure he would deny such occurrence lol
I will use this pharase for now on. Took me a minute to understand.
Umbilical cord cracked me up , May Allah bless you for you heart brother
never keep quiet.. speak up its your right i get the joke umbilucal cord attached like what do these men think girls have no feelings or emotions like hell no. with people like him they give you so signs instead the hide them making sure everything is normal there normal but in fact they have such man baby and narcasstic personality..
Someone I know married a guy who pretended to pray all prayers, went to the masjid with my friend's dad but it ended up being a facade and once married he didn't pray regularly and she had to push him to.
My friend is very practicing Macha Allah and she also likes to wear abayas. That's how she was before getting married so the guy was obviously aware of it, yet again once married he tried to push her to change her way of dressing.
I just can't fathom why someone would try and appear as someone they're not. It's disgusting. Why getting involved with someone practicing if you're not ?
A lot of drama followed, they were almost going to divorce at some point. His family also acted badly towards my friend.
Then they somehow fixed things up and Alhamdulillah things seem to be peaceful now. They have two adorable children together Macha Allah
What I learned from it, amongst other things, was that I could trust my instinct Alhamdulillah. The first time I saw him he didn't sit well with me, I didn't like his eyes and his vibes in general. His smile was fake.
Thing is, I only saw him before the wedding so it's not like I could tell the bride about it lol, plus it was a personal jugement purely based on instinct. It worried me though, and I felt sad when I heard what happened but not surprised.
It increased my paranoid tendencies, I would be terrified of getting married to someone who would have succeeded at appearing as someone they're not.
A lot of men seem to do that from what I noticed, even ''non toxic'' ones, they seem to see interactions with future in laws as a way to ''win points''. They would be extremely accomodating and almost unable to say no to things in order to be liked by the bride and her parents.
I get the idea of wanting to appear as your best but there should be no attempts at seducing people, it's a form of swindle like another. Like some kind of strategy, I hate it and Alhamdulillah again I'm immune to this kind of approach as it naturally puts me off.
Which is why I much prefer people who aren't afraid to be themselves and speak their mind even if we disagree - while still being respectful ofc, being rude is another issue - and who don't try to act as if they are perfect nor hide their mistakes and defaults.
This is my #1 fear is marrying someone who doesn’t pray.
It truly is the most basic basics, yet in our time it seems to be some kind of achievement lol
The same way that not being racist is seen as a quality when it's just the lack of a terrible trait ?
May Allah Help us all
When you say things seem peaceful now, does that mean one them changed or did they just accept the flaws ?
The guy seems to have worked on his issues yes, as my friend just seems way more peaceful and joyful than before Alhamdulillah
The fact that they changed countries may have helped too
My sister married based on my parents wishes, didn’t really set expectation of what kind of person she wants to marry and when she got married as well so now she’s maintaining a loveless marriage for the sake of the kids and society.
I think it varies. Most people say the days immediately following a wedding are the best for a couple. But that is dependent on no outlying dysfunction with all parties involved (i.e., bride, groom, in-laws). What occurs more often in my experience is that the first couple of weeks following marriage tend to be the most difficult. And logically, this makes sense. It's a sudden change where everyone has to adjust and compromise. The problems start when one party prioritizes their POV and feels entitled to everyone behaving the way they choose. Sometimes it's the husband or the wife who are being stubborn. Other times, the couple is on the same page, but in-laws and friends are causing the problems.
Don't quote me on this, but I believe I heard a shaykh once say that shayateen are busy trying to breakdown a newly formed union because it's foundations are still being built. And honestly, I think this is very true. I've seen marriages where the day of the ceremony hasn't even finished and people start causing mayhem.
Unless you're close with the couple suffering through this issue, they likely won't tell you what's going on. And that's a good thing. The less information that is divulged, the better for the future (contingent upon the issue).
Best way to help is to be be non-judgmental if they come to you with issues and focus on trying to salvage the relationship rather than pushing for divorce (assuming it's nothing nefarious). Other than that, don't try to get involved unless you are asked.
My husband’s friend got a married a few months after ours. On his wedding day, the bride didn’t seem friendly or enthusiastic. Well I thought maybe she was shy. Couple months later, this friend wanted to meet my husband after work bcs he lived a bit far from us. I at first suspected he might have marriage trouble and asking for opinion. But my husband says they just talked simple stuffs and mentioned there’s nothing about their marriage. We had few friends’ wedding around the year later but the couple didn’t come together only the husband. I truly suspected something is going on but my husband didn’t believe me. Eventually few months later, the friend got a divorce and we were shocked to know that the day after their wedding ceremony, problems had already occur and risen. And they hadn’t lived together. Poor guy… Both were teachers at the same school, the guy had to get a transfer to move on and away.
It was mutual I think, bcs they got to know each other while teaching in the same school.
So she married to him on purpose even though she didn’t want to? That’s so messed up.
Friend of mine married a rich guy who was related to her, he turned out to be into drugs and dodgy partying so she left him after a year
Also had a close cousin just get divorced after a couple of years of misery with both MIL and the FIL, we only found out when she went home and refused to come back
My sister, she was too afraid of him , had no opinion of her own. Was afraid to make calls in front of him, would lie for him
Yes you think you have seen it all and you will probably say that will not happen to me or us. But there's always something that will trigger you. The key is to not lose it. Also lowering expectations helps. Finally keep Allah in your heart and everything will work out.