Body scars and marriage
By - Zolana
For what it's worth, I personally wouldn't care.
It's part of who you are, and the right person would accept you wholeheartedly exactly as you are!
agreed, man too here, personally dont care, you are you, as you said its aesthetic and nothing more.
>For what it's worth, I personally wouldn't care
Not worth a lot. Different people are different. I can easily see how this would throw someone off track when they find out after marriage.
Same as you I wouldn't care but I can't say the same for anyone else
It depends on the person. It's not a problem for me. I think a lot of men would be totally fine with it. But for some it could be a big deal.
The most important thing in a relationship is love, an emotional bond. If that's there, you start to love even the scars.
It's only in the absence of this bond, people rely on things like physical appearance to fuel the relationship.
I second that, people blow things outta proportion. I'm not sure if it's the timing or the personality of the person you're talking to.
Don't be discouraged. Just talk to people and get to know them, and when you feel like there is potential, bring this topic up when you feel comfortable. Best of luck !!
My wife has really bad acne on her face and its left scars on her face. I have absolutely ZERO problem with it. I love her for who she is and still find her incredibly attractive. She had the acne before we met and I didn’t care then and I don’t care now. Whenever she brings it up, I just tell her how beautiful she looks and kiss the scars. The issue you mentioned with body scars is very minor in my opinion and most men won’t care.
Oh my dearest! All your fears and feelings are 100 percent valid. I have a similar issue. Since I was 4 I’ve had battled a chronic form of atopic dermatitis (aka eczema) and it’s left my body discolored and with an array of different textures. Although the open wounds are almost completely gone, the road to a complete recovery to where I can regain full confidence is quite slow. I desperately want someone to love me despite my insecurities about my body - to even possibly find my flaws attractive. I believe that such a man is out there. And I believe the man for you is out there as well, who will love your skin the way it is. I’ve met men who have married women with all kinds of physical conditions and their wives have said good things about them and that their husbands only met them with love and support. And that gives me hope. We just have to keep having faith. Personally, when I talk to a potential, I am open about my condition. It’s scary every time, and I have freaked out internally when a guy remembers my condition - I second guess why they would even remember? Like is it out of compassion? Or is it because I’m unattractive because of the condition? This is all naffs and shaytan talking. Also, when time flies by, we’re all going to age. Our bodies were made to change and to ultimately decay. So a good Muslim man will understand this reality. Have faith in Allah, my darling warrior. Making dua for you. Xo
As you can see, many of the men have said they wouldn't care.
Adding on that, i would say... if it's something they can expect then it's better. Like they might have ultra high expectations and then might get "let down".
So as men wouldn't care... if you tell them, it's a win win.
But yeah, you might have to frame your sentences a bit carefully. So as to not scare them away... just be on the defensive a little. Tell them you just wanted to be open and honest about everything and for sure they are gonna appreciate it.
I dont think most would, whether it be stretch marks, or acne or anything akin to it, I dont think I personally would mind too much or care.
Real people have real bodies, so you can't really have unreal expectations and most people have stretch marks or acne and such themselves.
My current significant other has second degree burns on her left arm starting from the elbow to the upper arm, on her stomach and a little bit under her chin.
She is very complexed with this, just like you are. Even though she is very beautiful.
You shouldn't be. Just be open about it with the man and if he likes you that wouldn't be a problem at all.
I try to always boost her confidance in that regard but that's not something that can't change easily, it needs time i suppose ^^
I think once you are getting serious with someone in prospects of marriage . Casually mention that you suffered from acne and it has left marks on your body. Drop the topic then . You ll know from how he reacts . But its totally okay even if you dont say anything . It aint a major issue.
I have a big birthmark . I ve never thought of it as an issue when it comes to marriage
Meh once he sees who you are he wont care. The man will be too grateful to even notice
I don't think most men care, maybe the superficial do. I think it's cute, most scars tells a story. If they are attracted to you it won't matter.
Good to see almost all brothers here don't have an issue with this. It really is about who you are as a person rather than what some part of you looks like.
You don't have an obligation to share this with any spouse and I highly doubt more would even care.
I’m a man and it would never bother me. It’s purely aesthetic nothing else right, if there is an emotional bond between two people even their imperfections become perfect, their scars seem beautiful. It’s a part of you and your husband would need to accept that. I understand if some men would see it as a big deal which is fine as everyone has different opinions but don’t get bothered by it. I’m a man and trust me I wouldn’t mind at all, I don’t care about stretch marks/body acne or even a lil bit of hair etc. I doubt most would anyway. Hope i made you feel better :)
Update your 6th word from the end with something more accurate/appropriate like germophobe/cleanliness freak.
Try not to stress out. Something like that wouldn't bother me, it just adds to your uniqueness.
If your potential is mature and not superficial then I don't think it would be a problem.
Just saying , I don’t care about acne, stretch marks or whatever girls these days stress about/ body issues . And ally of men/brothers don’t either. That’s all I really have to say. Hope it makes u feel abit better
If I were you, I wouldn't even tell him about it. It's not like a lifelong disease or a communicable disease, so what's the point? Everyone has something, and no one in this world has perfect skin or anything. I'd say it's an unnecessary thing to talk about. Everyone's a little worried about their body, but nowhere have I ever heard we are supposed to mention our body looks to a potential.
It's a good way to separate the gooduns from the bads.
Anybody who has an issue with it is automatically disqualified, leaving you with only the non-shallow (or whatever you want to call it) people left.
Use it to your advantage.
I can relate to this so much, you're definitely not alone. I'm a teenager and I worry about this too because I have eczema scars and acne/ingrown hair scars as well so it's just not smooth clear skin everywhere. I have like dark spots in places because of that and on top of everything I'm pretty hairy and my hair is dark. Removing it just makes it look like more spots and bumps and it's not super smooth. And if I don't remove it then I'm just hairy. Technically there's nothing wrong with it, and I wouldn't mind it either except the media has made it to where I don't feel pretty because of it :( Also I don't want for someone who waited their whole life to get married to be disappointed or feel catfished. I will say if it's the other way around I would prefer if a guy would bring up their insecurities before marriage, not because that would throw me off of the person but because I think it's important to be open about the things that matter to you and that way there's no unexpected surprises when you are finally married. I guess you could bring it up if it bothers you and eases your mind to know what they think. Although I would only doing that if you are seriously considering that person for marriage, and not just on the first meet up.
Be who you are! I’m sure the person you’d marry is looking beyond what you look like or how make up will make you look like!
That's not a catfish. You dont have to talk about every detail on your body
I don't know what to say. Are crazy or something?? You clearly have no self respect. First learn to respect and love yourself then think about marriage. If you, yourself don't respect you, your husband will neither have any reason to love you, ok? If you are a normal human being then having normal scars on body is normal. The beauty of being human being is that we are all different because of these differences. If he ever thinks or makes you think that he wished he married someone more beautiful than you. Well then make him see his butt hole and remind him how much of a hot dashing model figure he is. Then tell to wish for an Instagram model.
thats a little harsh dont u think, and inconsiderate of OP's feelings and condition. Each person has their own insecurities and is valid for them to feel that way.
Well i don't mind being hted but i want to make sure my words are barried deep in her mind. I get really triggered by these kind of mentality of muslim girls. I am being harsh to her so that she doesn't keep on staying like a daddy's princess caz life is not a bed of rose. She needs to build s thick skin.
ik u have good intentions but if u really want ppl to take ur advice seriously, u should change ur approach and adopt a more friendlier manner
Yeah. I am very bad with understanding human emotions and approaching them and making them understand the reality. I am a muslim girl constantly dealing with things that seems very unnatural to me caz Allah dmade very beautiful rules for all of our happy living but these ppl seems to have misunderstood and made things worse for everyone.
May Allah make it easy for u