By - DistributionUnited90
You’re quite frankly not missing out on anything. You should watch Mikhailas Petersons podcast episode with her father (Jordan Peterson) on the hookup culture. It will open your eyes. Don’t fall prey to peer pressure.
It's them who are missing out staying clean, focused and pious because these are the things which will lead you to have a successful life both inside and out; in this world and afterlife.
No matter how much they try to fool others, in the end their depressed life will regret everything. This life is a test and the one who is patient and stood firm in this straight path from all the shaitan's distractions and traps, will succeed for eternal in gardens of heaven.
Nothing comes close to a pure love. Enjoying everything first time with your SO can't be compared to those alcoholics who behave like animals. There's so much blessings in these pure relationships. As Allah(swt) said in the Quran :
"Wicked women are for wicked men, and wicked men are for wicked women. And virtuous women are for virtuous men, and virtuous men are for virtuous women. The virtuous are innocent of what the wicked say. They will have forgiveness and an honourable provision."
Might as well convert and party in Heaven for eternity :p
Going from my own expirenced , i recently went to my first party/concert in my life and i must say, it was boring nothing about it stood out but the food i didn't enjoy the music as usual dancing got boring after sometime, the only stand out was having some conversations with my classmates and that was the highlight of it , personally i am not looking forward at all to ever expirenced it again cause i have not been missing out on anything important at all, that from a personal perspective, from a religious perspective it's even more negative
Youre not really missing out because if you do eventually go these events you will afterwards feel empty and unfulfilled. What are you thinking about doing is very smart. In my experience when I usually go to social media I see how the mainstream media puts out content on things that will make you happy. (It really doesn't) For example how you deal with your partner, traveling, being rich, going to parties, going to some rappers concert,or wearing some brand name. Alhamduillah I follow divine revelation which shows me what to do feel content and have eternal happiness in the hereafter
Sis believe me you are not missing out. Parties and youth culture, drinking, clubbing all that stuff is overrated at hec. I've never been or done any of them but you can get the joy and memories that one gets from those things doing others and you will actually remember it since you won't be blackout drunk, plus without hook-up and parties and drinking no hang overs, risk of pregnancy, getting addiction and wasting large amounts of time .
You won't be regretting anything, for one you won't "peak" early so that's good. Most people who spend time messing around in their early to late 20s miss out on much more Important things like getting a husband, settling down, focusing on your relationship with God, focusing on your job. That stuff may seem boring to those people right now but in like 12 years when they're single and everyone else has families they'll most likely regret it.
Plus you will have way more benefits and fun with a forever hubby then a cringe temporary boyfriend 🤮😏
Thank you for your comment and thoughts. I really enjoyed reading it :)
I agree, things like drinking, hooking up, etc only cause more pain in the end. This is why I have noooo interest. I’m sometimes just like, “Am I missing something?” Lol.
And yes, I’m ready for stability instead of temporary enjoyment.
Just to note you can't call disbelievers "brother/sister"
Just a note, "sis" isn't the same as sister it's the equivalent of "bro" and they are not used in the same way ;)
You are not missing out. You have what they are missing, something special only given to those chosen by God. I was a christian before, my parents were atheists and I didn't grow up with God but God found me. I called myself a christian because I believed in God but didn't know Him. Islam made sense for me instantly. The "problem" in Christianity is as you say "You want to stay home and be in the presence of God all day" not the same as a christian than as a muslim since the islamic prayer is so much bigger than the Christian one (Nothing against christians and their prayers but its not anywhere near Salah)I used to go to church and I went to the Vatikan in Rome and attended the ceremonies (in churches in Rome). I never had my moment there. But when I heard the adhan and went to the masjid I had my moment. You now that AHA this is it moment.
You honestly sound like a great woman and you're not too boring for anyone. And you will DEFINIETLY find a man who wants the same thing.I too am a woman and I have been a muslim for 9 years. You can always message me for a safe space and ask anything. Sorry if I didnt answer your questions I got carried away!
Thank you :)
I don't think you are missing out on anything even if l try to view it from a secular pov.
1) Alcohol abuse is one of the most common drug abuse in the USA. It destroys your health completely(liver cirrhosis,artery blockage etc) Apart from that, most of the crimes are committed under the influence of alcohol too. Imagine you are at a party and decide to get drunk. Your drink gets spiked by some creep who then decides to assault you while you are completely passed out and certainly not in a state to give consent. You for sure have been raped here. But can you really prove anything here? The other person can claim to be drunk too and pretend to not remember anything. You were surrounded by drunkards who don't remember anything either or pretend not to inorder to side with your abuser. Hundreds of thousands of women get assaulted this way only in the USA. Imagine the statistics of women abused this way around the world!
2) Hookup culture actually brings in more harm to women than men. Women have nothing to gain here except for instant gratification and validation maybe.
•You can fall pregnant with a random guy's child; the same guy who would want nothing to do with you or your kid 90% of the time. Child support is a freaking joke and most men don't even bother to pay a penny. You will be left to raise the child on your own with little or no support from anyone. You will most likely be in poverty from trying to manage the expenses of both you and your child. The child will grow up without the basic amneities it needs in order to be both physically and mentally healthy. You will be a single mum which reduces your chances of settling down later in your life as most men avoid "baby mamas"
• Inorder to avoid the circumstances l have mentioned previously, you will start to take birth control pills most probably. Birth control pills are basically hormones that prevent the egg from being fertilized. It absolutely destroys your health,both mental and physical.
Psychological implications: Birth control pills are literally known as "depression in the form of a pill" You will experience symptoms of pms in all 365 days but aggravated. You are a woman so you can understand what a nightmare it could be.
Physical side effects: Rapid weight gain, decrease in muscle mass, amenorrhoea, Blood clot, facial hair growth (like that of men), rashes on skin(that takes years to recover from),lower fertility (when you actually want to have kids, you can't fall pregnant because of this hormone abuse) etc and also puts you at a risk of breast and cervical cancer and liver tumour.
• So, in order to avoid all this mess; you can now choose either abortion or abstinence. Most women are pro-choice because of this. However, abortion is not only a very cruel process but also one that horribly takes a toll on a woman's mental health. A large number of women have reported to be suicidal themselves after undergoing that procedure. Also, abortion is cruel. I hear most people refering the embryo as a "ball of cell" and hence they believe that electrocuting it to death means nothing. However, these exact same group of people would scream with joy at the news of a discovery of a freaking bacteria in mars or some shi- claiming that "omg life found on Mars!" So, an embryo capable of movement ain't living but a bacteria is? Both the bacteria and the embryo show the basic characteristics that is required to consider an organism as "living": feeding, growth, sensitivity,breathing and respiration. It's sad that a human embryo, capable of turning into a human being(Ashraful Maqlukat), is not even considered to be living but a bacteria is. Abortion is hence murder. According to the command of Allah(SWT) stated in the Quran, abortion should hence only be allowed when an individual was raped or has a medical condition that would reduce her chances of survival if the pregnancy is not terminated.
Now even if you can somehow avoid getting pregnant or you are okay with abortion and the detrimental impacts of birth control, you can still be mentally scarred. I have seen girls with my own eyes who decided to settle being a fwb because either they the claim that "oh it's just an activity just like participating in sports" or they hope that their relationship is going to progress into something more serious. Regardless of what convinced them to settle down for less, they ended up catching feelings most of the time which was obviously not reciprocated. They felt betrayed and used and turned bitter. Even though they sadly got themselves in this mess voluntarily, they try to blame it on the opposite party illogically. This mishap scars them for the rest of their lives and prevents them from building meaningful connections later in life. Watch Anna Akana's podcast on this,she explained this scenario much more eloquently.
Modern society has not liberated women but has rather turned them into easily disposable sexual objects. So, you are not missing out on anything.
As for the temptation to go MIA, l do it all the time. It feels great to have some time to myself and go off radar sometimes. Do what is right and what you are comfortable doing. If you do everything thinking whether a guy will like it or not, you will for sure be surrounded by many men; but they ain't worth it. Your relationship will not last as he likes you for that mask you have created instead of your true self. It's not possible to fake a personality for the rest of one's life.
PS: Having strict parents is such a blessing. I was protected from getting trapped into these sort of harmful conduct before l could even have the full realisation of how detrimental these could have been to me.
As a Muslim you have a big community around you and that really helps with keeping life halal. The more social stuff you do the more people you get to know just like any other community. The only difference is we don't drink. The good thing about Is that it tends to mean you can go out and do more.
My advice to you is to surround yourself with like minded people. Don't miss out. Go out and discover the dawn! Go conquer the mountains. Hike, do different hobbies, sports, run a few races, Join clubs, enjoy all of the benefits of good health and youth. Put lots of effort into doing good deeds and giving back to your community. If you can afford to travel do so. As a Muslim I would also add remember Allah and be grateful you can do all this because one day when you die you will be asked about your youth and how you spent it.
When you get older you want to be able to look back and say I'm glad I did that, remembering awesome journeys and struggles. So don't miss out. Engage in the world. Social media is meaningless so focus on reality instead.
You arent missing out, these things will not fulfill you.
Islam will though. Look into it, buy a Quran in English and read it. You are missing out on that.
May Allah guide you to Islam if you are sincere.
May Allah سُبْحانَهُ وتَعَالَى guide you to Islam and a pious husband ameen
There’s no denying it, the prospect of indulging in those vices seem very compelling but it is designed in such a way that shaytan (satan) is allows do his breadcrumb work and allure people towards it. Allah sets boundaries on some of those vices such as sex in the barriers of marriage and the others he promises a greater pleasure in the afterlife if we discard them in this world. One can’t miss out on something if they are promised something even greater. It is hard at times being left out when such things become so normalised around you and that is part of the test called life. If you succeed, then you’re in for an eternity of pleasure and that promise from God is absolute whereas shaytan’s promise is based off of deceit. I’m sure some can speak for this and I can speak for it too but that lifestyle never brought any fulfilment and it never will. The unknown, the taboo, seems attractive but once u attain it there really is nothing there.
Its normal to have these thoughts. Even if u were to live it up and party, whose to say that these thoughts will just go away. Do you really think you will find someone compatible with you at a club, partying and doing things you don't even normally do?
Quell these doubts and thoughts by believing that Allah(God) will provide better for you. Trust God. And rest assured that these thoughts are either from your own conscience and the devil.
And if it is from your conscience, take initiative and steps to find that person. Try to meet people and ask friends if they know any good guys. Im sure there are a lot of people just like you trying to find the one.
As for living it up, have fun within boundaries you feel comfortable with i.e. have fun without falling into sin. You can do an all girls party. Dress up, do your hair, have a laugh, play and enjoy yourself. You can even invite your muslim friends. All the best :-)
Hook up culture is inflicted with so many diseases and restlessness. There is nothing to envy about such degeneracy. You’re not missing out. If you are a religious Christian then I suggest you visit your local churches and befriend like minded people. If you’re interested in Islam, visit local masjids and befriend pious muslim sisters. Do not hang out with friends who partake in hook up culture as that will slowly effect your state of mind. Islam discourages such friendships as you can find out ones character from the type of company they entertain.
Nope you’re not missing out. Think of how beautiful of a life you could create with what you described you enjoyed doing. Hookup culture is nothing compared to the deep fulfilling bond of marriage. Late night deep conversations can not be recreated with some rando. So many studies also show that more partners leads to less fulfillment in marriage. I personally only use social media to follow beneficial things. I don’t follow anyone I know in real life and they don’t follow me. A peaceful life while serving God is not boring. It’s something many want but can’t admit. As a guy I prefer girls with none or very minimal social media. May Allah grant us righteous spouses.
You post this in a Muslim sub and you'll get the answer as 'No, you're not missing out'.
You post this in a non-muslim sub and you'll get the answer as 'Yes, you're missing out'
You need to decide yourself which one to believe
You are not missing out on anything. I have never done those things, but the people (colleagues, classmates, friends) I have met over time who found out about my lifestyle mentioned their regret at doing that. I'm not talking about old people, but the ones who were still in their 20s. They told me that they wished they were still virgins, they were religious, etc.
You love Islam so you must know something about it. My advice is to learn more about it and eventually accept it and become a Muslim. You are more likely to find more Muslim men from the type of man you are looking for than you are likely to find a non-Muslim man. I mean it will be a lot easier since these are major sins in Islam and most Muslims avoid them.
Become muslim and live it up when ur in jannah if god wills it.
Those enjoyments of drinking and clubbing are damaging, hence why allah has made it haram. Put ur faith in god and know that he knows best.
Also, on the the day of judgement, the people will think they remained on earth for only a day or 2 or even less.
Nope, you're not missing out on anything, at least not anything good, and actually, I suggest you start fasting, it actually helps when it comes to productivity and creativity, so you'll have much more fun practicing your favourite hobbies, and obviously, I'm always gonna suggest you look further into Islam and in shā' Allāh join us on the straight path.
Thank you for your input
I actually fast quite often. I can however get better fasting more regularly. I think I will fast this week to gain clarity. Thank you again :)
No problem, may Allāh strengthen your mind, ease your worries and guide you to the straight path.