T O P
InSilenceLikeLasagna

Had this once. Had an entry level job and went to a Christmas lunch and I was broke AF (entry level role + capital city = strife). I intentionally ordered something basic off the discount menu and had a tap water to keep things under £20. Meanwhile middle managers who were on over double my wage were having bottles of wine and the nicest shit. Bill comes and then the most obnoxious of them all shouts we’re splitting tipsy from the bottle of wine she had to herself. Made myself seem like a cheap fuck, but refused. My bill came to like £15 inc tip and would’ve come to £70 had I not said anything. I only split with close friends and Im not close friends with people who take advantage of those types of situs. Dumb af that this person complained about not having money, like it wasn’t her decision to order that stuff.


twitch1982

You all work at shitty companies. Including OP. If management or "the bosses" are taking the team out for dinner, they pay. Everywhere I've ever been. Ive even had employee handbooks explicitly state that most senior pays for dinner and it goes on thier expense report.


Importer__Exporter

I usually just ask to set the expectation. Is this a work expense or just a meal with coworkers. Not to take advantage and order more, but to understand if I’m paying or not. Seems like just asking first clears up 99% of the issues in this thread. I do agree that work should be paying though.


InSilenceLikeLasagna

This wasnt THE Christmas party (we didnt do a meal), this was a lunchtime thing which they sent an email around for but was understood it was self paid. Middle managers were the ones that put it together and they werent the most competent bunch, (no complaints on C-level)


GodHimselfNoCap

If it's organized by management through official work channels then management pays that's how it is supposed to work and that's how every job I've ever had works, hell my current job even allows a set amount of "team-building expenses" per month for management to spend on donuts or pizza or whatever


MedicalBoardTA

Same here…unless it’s really expensive, then the 2nd most senior puts it on their expense report and the most senior approves said expense report.


LordPennybags

Winner Winner, Surf and Turf Dinner!


InSilenceLikeLasagna

Bro most places are shit workplaces. I left that job and doubled my salary, but sometimes youve gotta take shit to get ahead


henkley

This is the LPT hiding in the comments: you can always ask to be excluded from the split / just pay for your own


sailorchoc

Yeah I don't drink, but every other adult I know does. I'm not splitting the bill because they all get at least 1 drink. Meanwhile I'll have an entree and some water. I don't care if it makes me look petty or cheap.


InSilenceLikeLasagna

Yep and thats fair. Recently gave up drinking and the difference on my dining tabs has been pretty considerable


sailorchoc

I was a server and saw how crazy the tickets would get when people ordered drinks with extra shots and bottles of wine. Those were my favorite because of the tips, but I wouldn't want to split with any of those people if I had sweet tea.


Instinctz4

So I actually agree you shouldn't split equally. Specifically because of people like shelly


jaggazz

I had the opposite problem once. I was on a fishing trip with 8 guys, and we all went out to dinner once night. Everyone but me got all tooted up on lots of drinks, and to make it easy on the waiter, and despite my objection we decided to split it evenly. I ended up spending $58 dollars for a burger and an arnie palmer that night. Fuck even splitters.


Useful_Marsupial_896

You need better mates I don't drink but I have a group of friends I go out with who all do. Needless to say that leaves me as the designated driver. When we order a meal, they ask for the drinks menu separately. Unless I've been drinking non alcoholic cocktails in which case we split it evenly


Drainio

Honestly, if you’re the DD you shouldn’t have a bill at all. That’s how I’d treat the DD in our friends group anyways. Plenty of places near me will even give the DD free non-alcoholic beverages.


SabrinaB123

This is true! Found out this past weekend, as I had been paying for sodas all night until I had mentioned I was DD to the bartender, then all of a sudden every time my friends got drinks there’s be a free soda with it for me. Wish I had mentioned it sooner lol


SdBolts4

A lot of ballparks/stadiums have this kind of deal. Show up to a kiosk to register as a DD, [they give you a wristband that's good for one free non-alcoholic beverage](https://fansdontletfansdrivedrunk.org/team/mlb/san-francisco-giants/#1442768226934-3ed0b4b5-829fd832-ba398b1f-3113)


ProtoMan3

This reminds me of what my brother would do for me. There’s an awesome hockey bar/pub that’s a half hour drive from where I live, and public transit doesn’t have a direct connection. Back when my brother was in high school, I always made a deal that if he drove me there I would buy him dinner (they had some real good poutine). Many times he’d even bring a friend. Then when I was somewhat drunk he’d drop me off at a much closer party bar to our house and then I could spend the rest of the night there before getting a much more affordable Uber home, or taking public transit if it was available. The DD always deserves love for what they do.


TweakedMonkey

I've been sober twenty years and the DD for that many...my cheapskate friends NEVER paid my bill.


boogers19

Damn. That's rough. Have they at least been paying your gas?


kotoamatsukami1

see when i run DD for my friends, they fill up my tank and buy me dinner


Kitsu74

This is the way.


Glittery_knitter

Yes! There are a bunch of wineries near me, and the DD always gets free grape juice, sodas, and snacks. It's awesome.


schroedingersnewcat

Yep, that's the rule with us too. You DD? You pay for nothing. It gets absorbed into everyone else's costs for the evening. We actually also have the rule that if we will be out for a while (full evening) DD if they want gets 1 drink first, and then they switch over, we will still cover that too.


patrick2099

I like how you think. Really like the idea of the group pitching in to pay for the DD. When I go to festivals and one of my friends drives, the least I can do is pay for them to get in.


boatwithane

my group always splits parking costs amongst the passengers of the car for concerts and shows and such - even parking tickets if we get one while out together, which is usually agreed upon beforehand if our parking spot is questionable. driver is included in the split for bigger things like a camping festival pass or road trip gas.


drapehsnormak

This right here. As someone who doesn't drink often, being a DD is still a job in my eyes.


stopeatingcatpoop

Especially since your previously sober friends are now drunk and loud! A safe ride in a night out is more than worth it especially since you are also hooking your DD up with food


superstarbun

I had no idea this exists. Will try it next time!


JoMamma_80

Yes! This is always how we treat our DD! Cheaper than an Uber, everyone gets home safely without a worry, and we like our friends!


sadpanda___

We always pick up the DD’s tab…


Mysterious_Prize8913

Yea I always pay for the DDs meal if we go out in a big group, but we also split bills pretty frequently. Most of my friends just eat and drink similarly priced items though...


Classy-Tater-Tots

Seriously, it's really just having some social awareness, if everyone has similar bills just split and move on. If there's any outliers, let the person who just got fries toss in $10 or the person who drank a bunch extra cover the tip.


nytraia

Mine are even better, if I'm driving, they pay for my food. Great for everyone, now obviously I don't take the piss but if we're talking about a burger etc then everyone is saving. No need for taxis and I'm just out the price of petrol for the night and whatever I've drank.


ActualPopularMonster

Happened to me on a girl's trip. I was on a very limited budget and only ordered what I could afford. Bill came and it was split evenly, and I ended up owing twice what I could afford. A friend helped me out, tho. Had I known, I would've just asked for a separate check.


wafflesareforever

I went out to dinner with my gf and some of her friends. They're all lawyers (and one anesthesiologist); I work in IT. I make decent money, but they're all loaded. When we got there, the two other couples had already been at the bar drinking for a while. Unbeknownst to me they had their bar tab transferred over to the table. After we ate, the two other guys threw their credit cards in the bill thing without any comment, so I did the same, not wanting to seem cheap (I was already feeling a little sensitive about money because they were talking about shit like their sailboats and other stuff I can't afford). I knew that they'd ordered more expensive stuff than I had, especially the guy next to me who had at least four cocktails with dinner along with a steak and a couple of appetizers, but I decided not to worry about it. My check comes, and it's $180 before tip. I'd gotten a small Caesar salad, a bowl of rigatoni bolognese, and two beers. My girlfriend got a large salad and a cocktail. Nobody commented on the bill, so whatever, I added a $40 tip and decided to just take the hit and not say anything. When we left, my gf asked how much my check was. I didn't want to tell her but she insisted. She was mortified when she found out. She didn't let me pay for anything for weeks after that.


FelidOpinari

Good girlfriend.


tynorex

My fiance went to a bachelorette party with a bunch of her friends. They're all in the same profession and all make very good money. They went out to dinner and their bill was like $1,200 split 5 ways. They could all afford it, but it was freaking nuts. When my fiance had her bachelorette party I reminded her a bunch before her party that even though some of her friends could afford those prices, most of them could not and to avoid 5 course meals...


EffectOne675

Same happened to me. Friend asked us to meet his gf for food with him. They ordered starters and dessert. We had burgers and chips. She wanted to split the bill. We didn't. Bf got an earful


ListOfString

"No" is a complete sentence.


Logicrazy12

Yup.


Brilliant_Medium_952

I agree! I can't drink because of medication. I don't feel obligated to finance someone else's drunk.


hecknono

Same thing used to happen to me. I don't drink so my bills are substantially lower than the other people at the table. It adds up.


DarthTurnip

I run with a crowd of spendthrift drinkers. I’m the only one who doesn’t drink. I always keep cash and throw it in the pot, that’s a hamburger and a nice tip.


Veyval

I dont want to be rude, but who forced you to pay that? Why not exclude your bill?


Binsky89

Social pressure forced him


jaggazz

Nobody held a gun to my head, and I objected at first, but didn't want to raise a big stink. It didn't break my bank or anything.


[deleted]

[удалено]


forthegoats

After being burnt a dozen times like you were, I have decided to always be amongst the most expensive at the table. If we split, then great. If we pay for our own, then great. I'm sick of subsidizing others, so I don't care what the protocol is anymore. I make sure I'm always near the top then I'm never annoyed no matter what happens (and I'll always prefer to pay for what I have, I hate splitting at the best of times). Edit: I should also note this is only really if I'm out with certain members of eg my wife's family who almost seem to make it a challenge to out eat/drink everyone else and I've been subsidizing for years.


nadgmz

Agree. It’s always awkward when it comes o chipping in or splitting. Always non drinkers end up paying way over the amount of every one else!


Spheresdeep

>to make it easy on the waiter I don't know when this got started but these days that is no longer true. Hell, I haven't waited tables since about 2009 and even then this was stupid easy. Literally all we did is hit a button that said split check by seat. It was easier than an even split.


RedHeeded

Honestly I’ve been serving for 12 years. Even splitting and splitting per person requires the exact same amount of work. Your friends suck AND it didn’t make the servers job easier


DidntWantSleepAnyway

I went out with some people once, and everyone agreed to pay for their own food EXCEPT split the pitchers of drinks. Which mostly made sense, except that I had specifically ordered a separate $2 soda and not touched the alcohol, and everyone knew that I didn’t drink. So I drank $2 worth of soda but had to pay $17 for drinks, while everyone else paid $15 for drinks that they actually had.


MangosArentReal

What does "EXCEPT" stand for? If everyone knew you didn't drink from the pitchers, why did you pay for that part? You got pushed over when they knew you didn't have any of the pitchers.


YourFaveCarcacha

I literally don’t get it. Say no and put down $5 max on the table cause u only got a soda. What’s the big deal?


greg19735

You need to stand up for yourself.


indigoHatter

Given the disparity between it all, I would have just paid my $20 and then let everyone else split the remainder. There's no fucking way I would up my bill by $40 to cover everyone else's drinking.


LevaOrel

I don’t drink so I never agree to just splitting evenly.


obiwanshinobi900

Sounds like you might have been DD, they should have paid your bill.


ziperhead944

I that case I would have gone to the server ahead of time and just paid my bill. Next time I guess...


KonradWayne

> and to make it easy on the waiter If you are all throwing down cash or having one person pay with their card and everyone else reimburse them, it didn't make it easier for the waiter at all. You can have one check but still have everyone only pay for what they ordered.


RambleMan

I (Canadian) had never heard of splitting the bill equally until I was in Costa Rica and was having lunch with my travelling buddy and two Australian women we'd just met on the same tour. The Aussie suggested we split the bill equally and my brain went "ohmygod why don't we do this at home?". We had all ordered about the same amount of food/drinks so to worry about $2 or there was a waste of time. A few years ago I was travelling in Spain with a friend for a couple of weeks and the way we handled things each we alternated each day who paid for all the food (breakfast was included at the hotel). It made things much easier and we only made a few adjustments along the way - like if we went to a restaurant that was insanely expensive or insanely inexpensive we'd make sure one person wasn't being unfairly hit with more cost than the other. It took "whose paying" or asking a server to split the bill off the table so we could just enjoy each others' company.


seriouslees

> asking a server to split the bill Why is this even a concern at all? Just get split bills, and none of the concerns you raise are an issue anymore. Nobody is put out paying an unfair amount, nobody has to do any math... what possible reason could there be to not ask for split bills???


tynorex

If you stay relatively even, it works okay. There are some friends that sometimes they win and sometimes I win, but we don't really keep track because we try to stay fair. Then I have some other friends that are perpetual cheapskates, I don't split with them. They either buy the cheapest shit when we go out and then want just their own bill, or they buy expensive shit when it's being split evenly. I still get mad about it to this day, did thanksgiving one year. My best friend and I spent $100 on various meats for everyone, knew we were spending more, but we were excited to host and smoke meats. Cheapskate friend shows up and brings the exact amount of paper plates everyone needs for one plate of food (so no separate plates for desserts). Bro couldn't even make food, and wouldn't spend more than $2 it cost on 100 paper plates... Some people are just cheap.


RambleMan

We have a few family members who bring pre-made contributions to big dinners where guests are asked to bring specific things. That's fine, not everybody can bake their own buns or make their own salad or dessert, but in my experience, those family members also take the leftovers from whatever they brought when they leave. It just feels so cheap. We do all the work, make the turkey, stuffing, etc. and you bring a $7 pie that you take the extras home...knowing we'll be hosting left-over meals for the full group for the next few days. No leftover pie because you took it.


mxzf

Splitting the bill evenly falls victim to the tragedy of the commons. It works great when everyone's buying an entree each and stuff is coming out vaguely even. But then someone goes and racks up a $50-100 drink tab while everyone else is drinking water/soda, or someone orders surf and turf while the rest of the table gets burgers and fries, and it changes from being a rounding error in difference that you can ignore to being all the more moderate orders covering the cost of someone splurging. And that rubs people the wrong way.


maenmallah

You can easily use apps (e.g. Splitwise) to track payments easily during a trip to make it fair. But sure dinner would be split evenly when people order pretty much similar things


paulmp

It is fairly typical for Aussies to "split evenly" but everyone puts in too much and someone either gets the change or it goes into the tip jar, even though we don't have tipping as such here. At least amongst my friends it was typical, we'd rather all have a good time and not fuss about money... usually if one of the friends is particularly tight on money at that time, they'll either not have to pay, or they'll get the left over change. I haven't met too many Aussies that get hung up on who ate or drank what. Heck, depending on who I'm with, sometimes I'll just sneak off and pay the whole bill without my friends knowing.


Majestic-Bluejay3057

Absolutely, don't split equally. Had a boss like this, always insisted everyone pay the same. Yet, he was the one that ordered the most food, the priciest food, and the most booze. His manager was a long once and agreed with us underlings each gets there own bill, boss had a huge bill.


Rolling_on_the_river

I usually want to split the bill even if I ordered more than the average person. Why should someone else pay for my shit?


brekky_sandy

I think you dropped this: *don't*


The_Phasers

In this context, I think OP meant split the bill as in separate checks for everyone. It was confusing though.


Rolling_on_the_river

Correct, my bad. English is not my first language.


The_Phasers

It was grammatically correct, however, it is also an example where the English language can be confusing.


Rolling_on_the_river

It would be misleading in my language too so I am just plainly wrong.


insufficient_funds

Lord I’ve never been out with a group that wanted to split equally but I’d never agree to it either. Either bc I’m not drinking or bc I’m drinking expensive shit. A good server is going to have everything entered in the POS by person ordering anyways, so splitting that way should be simple enough


Laura37733

I only split evenly if it's going to be roughly equivalent - two couples, similar drinks & entrees for example. Or if my family goes out with another family so everyone has kids meals and adult meals. But if I'm drinking and the other group isn't, or I have my kid but I'm with a childless couple, I get a separate check unless the less expensive half of the group wants to split evenly to make it easier on the staff.


porrridge

when I go for group dinner its usually one person pays with card and everyone just sends them what they owe.


rinnhart

Occasional bartender says: it's way easier for me to split and print your individual tabs than split the whole table evenly. Oh, this is also your friend's who order top shelf stiffing me on the tip.


FrankieMint

I had a coworker who would consistently ask before ordering, "Are we splitting even, or will we each pay for our orders?" If we said *even* he ordered the most expensive items, and if we said *pay for what you ordered* he got the cheapest. Every time.


xCHRISTIANx

My reaction reading your comment was, "Oh that's really thoughtful" thinking he'd order middle of the road items if everyone was splitting vs expensive if he was paying for himself, like most normal people would do. Apparently not.


Vishu1708

This is what I try to do. I like to splurge when I go out. I budget for it. I wouldn't want my unemployed friends to be saddled with my expensive splurges.


purrfunctory

As the formerly broke friend, thank you for being so thoughtful and mindful of your friends’ financial situations. When I was the broke one, I’d order an app while everyone had full meals. Friends noticed and insist I eat properly since they could afford to kick in extra. I paid it forward for years when friends visited me. Day trips to NYC with lunch on me, or finding coupons for cheaper activity and museum tix. They gave me hot, delicious meals when I was living on ramen. Now I can give them experiences they’d never be able to afford by providing food and lodging. It’s awesome to be in that place and be able to repay the incredible kindness shown me.


erwin76

Hi random redditer. You sound like a wonderful human being, I am glad you are no longer struggling financially!


Diegobyte

We would just subsidize our broke friend so he could go. Now he’s not broke so he buys a lot of rounds


purrfunctory

Yup! We weren’t mooches, just broke!


mister_buddha

I asked my friend one time if he was hungry and if wanted to go out for lunch. He responded with "I'm hungry but can't afford anything". I told him "I didn't am of you could pay, did I?" Then we went for sushi and udon


accountabillibudy

This is honestly my favorite thing about being an adult, knowing I can order whatever I want because I can pay for myself. I hated that feeling of not ordering something because of the price as a kid.


SureYeahOkCool

Y’all should have secretly agreed to have a blowout “split the bill” meal. Everyone makes sure to order more expensively than he does.


LumpyAd7854

The key is to always let him order first.


Asphalt_Animist

Or stop hanging out with fuckers.


mspk7305

One up him and order the same thing


Sn00dlerr

Order two lobsters like a big shot


Mr_Kill_Joy

One of my pals now has the nickname 'mixed grill'. As like your coworker... any meal out he'd ask if we're splitting. If so - mixed grill every time. Sad part is he has no shame and now embraces the name.


GrannyNugs

We're splitting. You get your own check.


aj6787

Ya why not. Splitting evenly is the dumbest thing you can do these days especially.


barefootBam

you only do this with close friends and people you regularly go out with. it all evens out in the long run. with not so close friends or acquaintances you might not see again, split the bill by order.


FelidOpinari

If not confirmed at the start of a meal, splitting evenly saves time for the people dining and the server. If my friend has a second beer and I only have one I’m okay with paying a little more. And if things are more uneven then my friend would probably pay a little more another time. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


hgielatan

I prefer having everyone venmo me/one person for what they had, it's especially easy if the restaurant has receipts that divide by seats


speed3_freak

I'm the waiter and I've got a 5 top. Everyone has a couple drunks and a meal. It's super easy to just put each meal with the drinks that person had onton5 seperate checks. If the meal is split evenly, then I have to split each item into 5ths which means I now have a bill with 75 items on it. I now have to move 15 items to a seperate checks 4 different times. I can only speak to the 5 restaurants I've worked in, but this would have been the easy it was for all of them.


OverlordXenu

every POS i've used in the last 5 years has had equal split payments forever. conversely, i usually work at places where people share things, and maybe get their own entree and drinks. toast makes this pretty easy, but most other POS's I've used don't. if you ask me to split by item and it's busy, sorry, i hate you. equal split for me is two buttons. splitting by item (if you didn't ask me first) means i have to create separate checks, and split everything out while confirming with now-drunk guests what they ordered. which often means guests disagreeing with each other, or forgetting. it's a huge waste of time which fucks me over when i have other tables i need to attend to, vs. equal split which probably takes less than 30 seconds for a few people.


FragrantFlowers

You can't just hit the payment for an amount with 5 different cards? Like if its a 500 total and you have 5 cards, you can't just do 100, swipe, 100, swipe, etc? I'm hospo as well, just really curious cause I've never seen this difficulty with aloha, micros, anything


bbbertie-wooster

If you spend time with people who aren't shit, spliltting is fine. I've split bills with people my whole life; and i'm old.


imnickelhead

Yup. I tend to go out with friends and decent coworkers. The people I choose to eat/drink with would never pull that shit. However, I also have some friends on a much tighter budget than me, and they won’t order the expensive bottle of wine and the more expensive items. To avoid potentially embarrassing them I ask the server to please do individual checks before equal splitting is brought up. Or, if I can afford it, I just pickup the whole tab and ask the friends to just leave the tip.


In-amberclad

Most people hang out with a diverse group. Some drink some dont. Some are vegetarian or vegans or eat halal or kosher. All this makes the bills very uneven so people should always expect to pay their part.


GhostShark

For me I’ll split evenly with close friends and some (but not all…) family members. Coworkers? Pay for what you order, we are splitting that bill


HeartOfPine

To help anyone in this situation: it is FINE to tell the server (and everyone else) something like "please split mine off separately, because I don't drink." It's usually possible/easy to do, and if it's because of the cost of alcohol, your coworkers are dicks if they don't support you.


eso_nwah

Several times now I have had the guts just to tell the server "Can I have a separate check please?" just before I order, and they nod and I order, and while I don't do it very often, it has NEVER caused even the slightest glance or objection from anyone, so it's my go-to if I need it. Doing it this way kinda makes it my business and no one else's, just like what I'm ordering.


Wellerman23

I think it’s also fine to tell everyone “I’m paying for my own stuff” and if anyone questions you ask them “Why do you want me to pay for your stuff?” - make them defend their greed in a group.


Screensam

This. I was a waiter for about 5 years and I've seen all the ways to split a bill. We can split it any way we want and it's not complicated at all. So no worries there people.


SloppyMeathole

Shelly was actually right, splitting bills is silly. Pay for your own shit.


comedian42

Fucking Friends nailed this one years ago. Not everyone can afford a lavish night out, but they still want to socialize so they get something small and a drink just so they can "go out". Making them comp for someone whose bill is 10x their own is a pretty easy way to ensure they don't come out again. Even if you work together and have a similar gross income, not everyone is going to have the same disposable income. Just let everyone pay their own bill, the wait staff are competent enough to handle it. If you're really that concerned then just leave a decent tip.


getSmoke

100% agreed. Another point I would add is if the bosses are inviting everyone out for dinner and drinks, especially if they are coming from out of town, the company should pay for it. Maybe I am just spoiled by my current employer, but they have never made us pay for company outings.


FaultInternational91

Ross Monica and Chandler got to party with the band while the rest didn't though :(


_Gunga_Din_

I’m so confused by OP. Am I reading this wrong? Shelly orders expensive items. Group wants to split the bill evenly. Shelly realizes everyone will have to pay for the expensive shit she ordered. Shelly insists everyone pay for their own items, that way she wont burden others. Everyone disagrees and then gets upset when they see Shelly’s orders. Why is Shelly the bad person here?


harrypottermcgee

How did Shelly think that her bill was going to be cheaper after drinking all that top shelf whisky? Shelly's behaviour is illogical, I don't know if this chick is coming or going. None of this adds up, I want to hear Shelly's account of the evening.


OliverTwist626

It reads to me like she got carried away and was a bit reckless with her spending and regrets that, rather than being upset that other people paid less than her. I could be interpreting that wrong though.


cultured_banana_slug

If it's with a group you eat with ALL the time, then it's fine. You're going to even out over the long haul. Sometimes you order more, sometimes you order less, same for everyone else. But like anything else on LPT, it's all about the nuance. Gotta communicate at the start. Anyone going to pig out today? Anyone just not that hungry? Those are the people who get separate checks.


twitch1982

https://www.theonion.com/report-average-american-loses-5-000-each-year-from-sp-1819576829


FuriousGremlin

Lol


Yukino_Wisteria

I don't like to split evenly in group settings like that. I only do that with family and trusted friends. I once went to a restaurant with my sport club. I was a student with a very low income. I don't drink alcohol and I only took a 9€ main course and 2€ mint tea. All the others were adults with normal or higher, stable incomes, and they ordered a lot of alcohol. In the end, they decided to split the bill evenly and I ended up having over 20€ to pay. It felt unfair and disrespectful.


LompocianLady

I was at a professional conference, most of us had high incomes. I didn't drink but there were many bottles of expensive wine ordered. One of my colleagues ("K") ate a tiny salad and drank water; she worked at a non-profit, had a new baby, and was only there to co-present for the paper we had co-authored and we were speaking on. The person who organized the dinner said "let's just split the bill" and everyone starting throwing in their credit cards. K's face blanched. I said "Right. Split 9 ways. K didn't eat." A look of huge relief crossed her face. It's hard to understand how everyone else was clueless. (Perhaps because they were all tipsy?)


i_GoTtA_gOoD_bRaIn

You are a saint. Thank you.


LompocianLady

Hardly, just a normal decent person.


jBlairTech

Good on you for having the wherewithal to prevent an embarrassing disaster.


Garak112

People with lots of money don’t tend to understand the financial realities of those without. They’ll usually get it if you point it out to them but since they don’t have to deal with budgeting their income on a daily basis it’s not something that comes easily to them. One of my friends fell in with a group of very wealthy people at college and I’ve ended up going out with them a few times (including a week long vacation). Every meal would be me and my friend ordering cheap food in expensive restaurants and having a couple of beers each whilst the rest of the table ordered the $200 steaks and drank a bottle of $300 wine each. Without fail when the bill came they’d try and ‘split it evenly because it’s a hassle to do anything else’. I’m only up for bill splitting if everyone’s had similar food and drinks.


WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch

It can go either way. I try not attribute to malice what can be attributed to stupidity, but I also know too many malicious folks.


evildrew

I think there's another option, which is cluelessness. There are plenty of malicious people and stupid people, but in most situations I've been in, I think there are more good/clueless than stupid or malicious. At least, I would hope I'm not forced to share a table with stupid or malicious people.


WebberWoods

The version of the phrase I’ve heard is don’t jump to blame malice for something that can be explained by ignorance. Using ignorance instead of stupidity casts a wider net in my view and encompasses the points you’re making. Stupid feels more like an inherent quality that doesn’t change over time, but we all act in ignorance from time to time.


SaintUlvemann

>It felt unfair and disrespectful. And it was. I don't really have any advice for what any particular person should've done, but, there should've been a way, at minimum, for your order to be separate. Actually, saying it that way, it occurs to me that maybe you could've told the waiter up front at time of ordering "My order's gonna be on a separate bill." Harder to do retroactively, but, would've let you keep control over your own budget.


monsieurlee

Also, shitty that no one on his club looked out for him. Someone on that team should've realized one of them was a student, found out if they ordered less than everyone else, and spoke up and suggest everyone else can split for the sake of simplicity but not stick the student with a large bill.


jBlairTech

“Why do that, when we can get the young kid to pay more of our share? Guffaw!” -disrespectful people


ExoticSeeder

You can say you have to leave early and leave what you consumed paid


razorduc

That sucks. Usually we carve out the bill for people that ordered very little then split the rest.


OnlyPaperListens

I also don't drink, so sorry-not-sorry but I'm not taking an equal share of a bill with booze. I also have greedy trash for family, who will count out a bare minimum tip using pennies. Separate checks all day, every day.


Stalked_Like_Corn

I never do this. I either pay for just what I got or I pay for everyone. Note: I only pay for everyone when it's family and 90% of that is when it's my MIL and FIL.


janecdotes

That's awful! I always pay for students when I go out, to pay back the fact that when I was a student, my older higher-earning friends always paid for me. They should have been looking out for you and I'm sorry no one did.


miromas

Had to spend a weekend with friends of friends recently, decided beforehand we'd split the food costs equally at the end. These people ate like 5 meals a day with dessert and a side of cheese and expensive beers and whole bars of chocolate and bags of crisps. I even gave them half of my dinner because they were still hungry apparently. They'd consumed about 4x what we did and still made us pay our "fair share". Yeah not doing that again.


jBlairTech

I’ve met people like that. Me, another person, and their hanger-on gf. We split it “evenly”… meaning 50-50. Except, we split stuff into thirds; so, I got to pay 50% of the bills for only 33% of the usage. Never again.


indigoHatter

Yeah absolutely not. You can split evenly by doing 30%.


Eyfordsucks

Lol how did you let them get away with that shady shit? Id have gotten an itemized receipt, every time, and called them out on piggybacking their costs onto me. If I am paying 3/4 of my paycheck to rent, how the fuck do you expect me to cover *your* costs on my once a year outing? Social politics be damned, I can only afford to be realistic.


scott-the-penguin

I mean, reading this I want to give Shelly the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she knew she was racking up a bill and didn't want others to have to pay for it, but was too drunk to explain properly?


MeesterCartmanez

"What would *you* know, Scott? You're a *penguin*!"


Wise-Fruit5000

It doesn't really sound like that's the case though, especially if she was complaining about how her bill was significantly more than everyone else's


Triasmus

The OP only said that she was complaining about how the high bill was going to eat into her rent money. It's very possible to complain about how expensive you made something for yourself while still recognizing that you're the one who needs to pay for it.


palpablescalpel

She may have even been drunkenly complaining in order to make it clear why she didn't want the even split.


aj6787

For all we know she just said damn there goes my rent money.


TheOnlySafeCult

I agree. Grousing about something you brought upon yourself? Not super weird. There are entire subs that revolve around self loathing.


[deleted]

I do this constantly lol


murdercat42069

This is my existence. I know who is paying for it but I wanna bitch about it.


Axtorx

If she was really drunk she might just be speaking freely about how much she spent and regretting it. Her not wanting to split doesn’t help her at all unless she forgot she ordered top shelf, but even then, why worry about splitting at all? I feel like shelly was trying to do the right thing in her drunken mind.


DominusEbad

Maybe she got screwed over before when splitting a bill and decided no matter what she won't split tabs again. We don't know her situation, but she made the right call regardless.


re_nonsequiturs

So Shelly was right?


jwrado

yes


Magic_Bluejay

Took me way to long to find this. She seemed to recognize her bill would be more and refused to split evenly because of that. How is she a bad person for that? Lol


Gouenyu

lol yeah, OP smells of corporate gossip


I_Will_Be_Polite

and incompetence


leehwgoC

I suspect OP themselves had to pay more than they wanted to. For all we actually know, Shelly's entire reason for refusing an equal split is bc she knew that she -- and maybe some others -- needed to be accountable for a disproportionate share.


jwrado

How is Shelly greedy for ordering top shelf *and* demanding to pay for her own stuff?


Mundane__Detail

This story doesn't really make sense, there's no way the only person ordering top shelf booze all night is going to think their bill will be less than everyone else's.


YesNoMaybe

It's possible she knew hers was more expensive and would've felt guilty having others split it.


MiddleMulberry2619

This + Shelly making a joke about how she overspent, and OP being completely oblivious, is the most likely scenario for me. Redditors like to assume everyone around them has 50IQ when really it's their own lack of communication skills at fault.


IcyExit8187

Yeah this story is bizarre “Shelley ordered expensive drinks and then DEMANDED to pay for them herself, what a bitch!”


Flaky_Distribution_2

Either OP is misreading the situation, and she was demanding each pay for their own because she felt bad for her own expensive drink, or she thought everyone else’s stuff was more expensive.


SpaceCrazyArtist

Only split evenly with really really good friends when you’ve all had similar meals and drinks. I certainly dont want to pay $15 a beer when I cant drink


FlawlessRuby

I mean why even split? It's not like it's faster or more simple. I don't want to feel bad for spending more and if I want to give a gift to a friend I'll just pay is meal lol


SaintUlvemann

It's always seemed to me like sharing costs only makes sense if you've shared e.g. an appetizer. And even if you have, seems easier to stick the appetizer on one person's bill, and then everyone throws them a buck or whatever.


Stabbmaster

I'm with Shelly, the restaurants can easily split bills for people and we should let them so there's not contention. If she wants to pay for her overpriced drinks you should let her XD


Previous_Basil

This post makes no sense. If Shelly were being shady, she would have *wanted* everyone to split the bill evenly so that the others would be forced to subsidize her portion. Instead, she insisted on paying for what *she* ordered.


fishers86

I'm assuming OP is full of shit


AutumnKittencorn

And that is why you should never split the bill evenly!


[deleted]

Yeah if I’m having the fancy stuff I always ask for a separate bill.


Torrall

Wait what am I missing? It sounds like she didn't want to split the bill because she was ordering top shelf liquor and knew it would be expensive?


nelsonmavrick

So Shelly was actually NOT being greedy by wanting to pay for her expensive tab.


SOTIdriver

Wait, hold on. I'm confused. If Shelley was paying for top dollar whiskey, why WOULDN'T she want to split down the middle? Wouldn't that likely make it less expensive for her? Because I was thinking about it, and normally I agree, splitting down the middle is trash, and everyone should pay for what they ordered. But if I was being greedy and ordering top dollar whiskey and didn't want to bear the brunt of the cost... I would be all for splitting down the middle. So what's going on here? Did your story just get worded incorrectly? Because what it looks like you're saying is: *Shelley bought expensive drinks* *Bill time comes, everyone agrees it should be split evenly* *Shelley says no, she doesn't want to do that and refuses* *Group decides, fine, and....splits evenly?* Is the wording just off here? I feel like I'm off my nut lol. I'm assuming it actually went: *Shelley bought expensive drinks* *Bill time comes, everyone agrees that they should pay for their own orders* *Shelley refuses, secretly because she doesn't want to pay her own bill because she ordered expensive drinks* *Group decides, fine, and splits the bill evenly instead* Is that right? And if so, was it Shelley doing the malicious compliance? Not really like she complied with anyone. More like forced their hand. Someone come save me, I'm fucking confused here.


themajorfall

I think Shelby realized how much she drank and didn't want to force the others to pay, but was too drunk to explain her logic so she just kept insisting on paying her own which made her look obnoxious. And afterwards, mentioned, oh man I spent so much it's going to eat into my rent money and OP took that as her regretting her paying choice when in reality it was just drunk person talking out her thoughts.


SOTIdriver

Lol, that honestly sounds like the most likely explanation out of any I've heard so far.


KnowOneNymous

Plot twist, she’s the fair one.


Blonde2468

I hate it when people want to split the bill evenly. I just want to pay for what I consumed, not what someone else may have consumed.


Tigerzof1

Sounds like she did everyone a solid


Draken09

Shelly is apparently a complainer when drunk, but she made the right call for the group. My net opinion on her is just above neutral, with a bit of benefit of the doubt.


CoffeeByIV

This must be an American concept to “split the bill evenly” what non-sense In Canada the server asks you “together or separate?” And if you say separate they separate it by what each person ordered. “Split evenly” isn’t even an option unless you specifically request it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I absolutely HATE splitting a bill. When I go out I base my purchases on how much I want to pay. I have zero interest in paying less for my order as others pick up the difference. I have zero interest in paying more because some people eat more than I do, ordered a top cut of steak or more excuses endive drinks. Why should I cover their bill for them? Sorry, but bill splitting is fucking awful but even worse without some sort of discussion or agreement up front about the plan. Having said that, crying about wanting your own bill then crying because you ordered shit you couldn’t afford is double stupid and bad form.


trgmike

This is why I run my own tab. I'll buy a round or two for the group. But I'm not gonna pay for Shelly's top shelf.


green_mojo

This is why I always bring cash to such events. I check what I ordered, and leave that amount plus tax and tip. Then everyone can figure out the mess they created.


Psychoticrider

I know guys that think they should split the bill evenly. They are the guys that eat prime rib and drink top shelf, while I had a burger and a domestic. When the bill come they get pissy about me not splitting when my bill is $20 and theirs is $100. Same guys want everyone to buy rounds when they drink four to your one.


rr90013

Usually it’s nicer to pay for what you ordered rather than split evenly anyway. And especially if you have a Shelly in your group.


chambrez

Went out for a friends 30th recently, had a meal and what not, I do not drink alcohol anymore and my other friend was driving so didn’t have alcohol. The rest of the table must’ve had 5 or 6 beers EACH and wanted us to all split the bill evenly and I refused, not to be cheap but why would I be paying towards their beer? I saved myself paying over double what my bill came to. I wouldn’t say I’m cheap and had I drank 5-6 beers also I would’ve been absolutely fine splitting the bill as it would’ve been reasonable. But I felt splitting the bill evenly on that occasion was totally unreasonable. In Shelly’s case she should’ve bloody listened though how did she not realise she’d be paying way more if she’s drinking expensive whiskey 😂


capaldithenewblack

Is it even possible she knew full well how much hers was and didn’t want to burden you all? The whining could be more at herself. Probably not, but I’d love to start believing in people again.


et842rhhs

I hate splitting the bill equally. I don't drink to begin with, and there's a reason I order inexpensive entrees.


omarhani

Turns out Shelly is ~~greedy~~ thoughtful of others and had been ordering top-shelf whiskey and her bill was 6 times the next person's bill. *She didn't want everyone else to have to unfairly chip-in to her astronomical bill.* Sounds like Shelly is pretty cool actually


Erosip

I’d give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she knew what she was drinking, how much it costs, and that she just didn’t want anyone else to have to cover that cost.


Hounmlayn

I had this before but with rounds of drinks. I only noticed because of the absurdity of it. This one guy was getting huge ass expensive cocktails whenever we were doing rounds. Everyone else is getting pints or whatever. But when he went up to pay for rounds, he comes back with a normal pint. Next round? He asks for the expensive shit again. My turn comes for rounds, I forget his order and just get him the pint he got himself. I told him I saw him drinking it so I knew he liked that. He looked visibly annoyed and angry at me. I saw right through his stupid game and called him out for it, and we all refuse to buy him drinks now when we do rounds. He hates it. His own fault.


nursecarmen

We once went out with some new friends and when the bill came they said “oh, we don’t pay for drinks “. Dafuq? Why have you been drinking all night then? Needless to say, that was the last time we went out with them.


bewicked4fun123

That's very confusing 😕


betatwinkle

My response would have been, "oh, well today you do" and still never went out with them again after I kept my money.