Someone needs attention
By - DarthPirate10i
I want a vacuum too so that someone will text me.
I’m replying to your comment, just so you get a message:
Joe needs your attention: he is being burned by lava. (His English Breakfast tea is slightly too hot.)
Thanos needs your attention: it’s 4:50 am and I cannot sleep
take some S L E E P Y T I M E Z D R O O G Z and you'll be all better in the morning :)
Except 'morning' will be like 4 pm.
you could skip an entire day if you take enough S L E E P Y T I M E Z D R O O G Z (;
Or an entire life. S L E E P Y T I M E Z D R O O G Z makes it possible
It’s called fast travel
You can't fast travel while enemies are nearby
Then kill all living things in the area with S L E E P Y T I M E D R O O G Z
Ah yes, the forever nap.
Fucking cliff racers
Well this was a nice spike in my anxiety.
Morning is just a word my dude. It's whenever you feel like it is man.
Hey it’s 522 on a Saturday and I just woke up and can’t fall asleep. I have the opposite but same oronlem
It's the opposite of Melnoro
I meant melborp I swear
Thats weird, Thanos is a guy I figured could do anything *in a snap*
It took me a moment to figure out it didn't say sleepy time dogs. Spent too much time trying to decide what breed of dog you meant before I reread.
Gina needs your attention: she is currently walking over a deadly spike pit. (drove over a lego.)
Justin needs your attention: he is drowning in a vat of acid. (He took a shit and a little bit of the water splashed up.)
Poor man’s bidet. You lucked out.
The first day I had my roomba I put it on before I went to work. It was pretty cool, I had the app to control it as well as integration with Alexa. So about two hours later I get a message like, "warning your roomba is in trouble."
When I got home I immediately see it, hanging and dangling about 2 feet off the ground after having chewed through a couple feet of my headphones cable. Completely suspended in the air like it was on a noose. This motherfucking vacuum spent one day in my house and was like, "Ya know what? I'd rather fucking die", and God damn hanged itself.
What did i just read mate
Roomba must've been depressed.
Give it lots of time and love and also consult a suicide something doctor I guess cuz your Roomba seems quite suicidal
But where was it hanging from?
So the headphone cable was hanging off a table and when the roomba sucked up the end it got wrapped around the roller. The headphone must have stuck on something so when the roller turned it couldn't pull the headphone down so instead the roomba started climbing the cable.
lmfao lol, suicide (halo voice)
Do you have a cat?
I am imagining a poor roomba seeing a field of cat gak and immediately deciding on seppuku.
what’s cat gak
Vomit. Either hairball or when they eat too fast and puke it right back up. That last one, I call it Scarf ‘n Barf.
Usually heard but not seen / found… or you find it in the middle of the night by stepping in it.
I do love my cat!
Omg the Scarf ‘n Barf had me laughing so hard.
There is no room for roomba
kaizer needs your attention: kaizer is getting ambushed by a winged monster (a fly keeps buzzing around me)
Swooping is bad.
Don’t drown, you have so much to hoover for!
Thames for your kind words, Missus Sippi.
I can feel that!!!
Go have your well deserved notification.
Keytar needs your attention: batteries have been inside me for 3 years. Please. Take them out.
Kingura requires your attention. Kingura managed to do his dishes and decided to tell you in a crude imitation of authentic text messages.
Neandergal requires your attention. Neandergal is losing brain cells and about to experience brain death. (Currently watching Adam Sandler movie with kids).
I lost all hope and started texting myself. At least someone is texting me...
Have a great day!
me sending off sick email to my boss just to play ghost of tsushima
ReadontheCrapper needs your attention. ReadontheCrapper is trapped!
(Run out of bog roll, can you spare a square?)
Hi! I need your attention! I'm a random stranger on the internet and I am being buried alive!
Every time I get texted its in a group chat and not towards me or my mom...
Ostrichal73 needs your immediate attention. (She's a needy old hag with no social life except for her cats that ignore her)
I’ll text you
I felt this in my soul 😭
Ok we go get you one
[Herbert could use drama lessons](https://youtu.be/peMS8Pd8M-A)
If Herbert was really trying to get a cry for attention, he would have teetered on the edge of the bathtub...
DON’T DO IT, YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR. SO MANY FLOORS TO CLEAN.
ok on second thoughts, proceed.
Maybe herbert really loves his job and is satisfied with his life. Silly meat bags, assuming all beings are as needy as they are.
I like to think they're all programmed like Mo from Wall-E. Ever so diligent and passionate about cleaning dirt off the floor, the adorable little fucker.
Why is he clearly trying to escape then?
And don’t say it’s because he really wants to clean that other floor because that shag pile will be the death of him and he’ll burn out his motor for sure.
My old roommate's Roomba always managed to get into the backyard, pass through the cement and try to vacuum the lawn.
Sometimes you gotta vacuum your lawn
People are so ungrateful, poor little Roomba is just trying his best.
Above and beyond, I'd say.
“Who was that masked Roomba?”
“That was…The Lawn Ranger.”
Oh yes. Have my free award because that pleased me.
Roomba is methhead
[Relevant Fairbairn Films](https://youtu.be/2KdLIeyGpYg).
Shades of Arizona here, where people use semi realistic astroturf for a lawn. My neighbor’s son had to weekly vacuum the lawn.
I saw a bus driver sweeping the blacktop outside their bus door yesterday. Same energy
He just wanted to be a robot mower too, he’d save the owner lots of money that way
If you have any cats just wait for the endless lion endangerment notifications!
I love dramatic vacuums
I want that to be a subreddit so bad.
[Here, I created a sub for dramatic technology.](https://www.reddit.com/r/DramaticTechnology/)
Which was funny because the automated message I got afterwards congratulated me heartily for pressing a few buttons and creating my own subreddit(!)
I'm in, are you going to cross-post this one?
Thank you for doing what us technologically inept and/or lazy users won't.
may it thrive :D
I couldn’t really click that on mobile, so I’ll just put the sub name here: r/DramaticTechnology
Ah, added to the post.
Nice! That works too
More cat sub? Where do I sign up?
I think a dramatic vacuum sub
Nothing like that psycho Roomba
Those are cute notifications. Makes me really want one and attach google eyes to it just to see it roam around my place.
Mine is too much of a scaredy-cat to go near it while it's working. She often maneuvers herself under my bed behind all my storage boxes lol.
i swear ive caught my vacuum about to pull this kind of shit but then stop because i was watching
The second half of your comment made me laugh twice as hard as the first half
I'm convinced some models are remote controlled by someone laughing as they ram into my ankles. Every fucking time.
Everytime I do something on the floor while it cleans, it comes to bother me. It happens all the time, really also made me wonder..
i want a roomba with an ai like that
Mine is Bernard, and he does an amazing job.
Dobby. He stops working when he finds a sock
This is great.
Gordon. Refuses to eat anything that’s RAW.
THIS DUST IS SO FUCKING RAW, IT TASTES LIKE YOUR GRANNYS SKIN
I found out someone with my same name has one of these that he also named doby. And we've both made the sock joke. Then I see this comment. There's dozens of us.
I named mine "the stupid robot" so my exasperated phone gives me notifications like
The stupid robot is stuck by a cliff
The stupid robot's dust bin may be full
The stupid robot has completed a job
Glad to see we aren’t the only ones that think ours is stupid sometimes.
We named ours “Dumbass” and use Red Forman’s voice when referring to it.
My six year old named ours when he was only 2. It is known as "Pick Up Dirt" and I can't call it anything else. When he was two he'd run screaming down the hallway as Pick Up Dirt chased him.
We have two kids now and the older one has shown the younger one that while Pick Up Dirt may be scary, he lacks the ability to climb furniture. Our youngest will stand on the couch and yell, "Haha, you can't get me Pick Up Dirt!"
Ours is Roomba-Piet (Pete).
We have a Pete too, we put googly eyes on him.
My husband named our Roomba Nob Gobblin 😐
“Nob Gobblin successfully completed the job!”
Good you remembered me! Need to get done too.
But I like the way "you remembered me" sounds, and will be using it myself in future!
(When I make corrections, it is not to be unkind, but because I think the writer is learning English, and to help)
Haha, you are right. Had an language void passing at that moment I guess.
We named ours AWESOMEO-4000
Nihilus The Consumer
I named mine Cinderella
Ours is Alfred. He cleans up the batcave.
Garfield and we love him… most of the time
Mine's Grogu. He tries his best, but he'll eat everything you put in front of him.
Now I want a Roomba too.
Unitarian Robot here.
He's named Herbet Hoover, isn't he?
DJ Eufy in the house. Complete with googly eyes and optional bose speaker.
Mine is Ronnie the Roomba.
A vacuum that texts you, what a time to be alive
I prefer the smart fridge that generates shopping lists for you
*suck it Jin Yang*
ILL JUMP, ILL REALLY DO IT
DO A BACKFLIP!!
Ahhh. My sister has a roomba we call Susan. She’s lazy.
wait ...... you can name your roomba ?!
ummmm .. i think i’m going to get one now
Not only that, but in the app instead of "Activation date", it will show as "Their birthday". They are really going for the robot pet take on it.
Refurbished ones are up for adoption then :)
This makes me so happy because I have that thing where I think everything has a soul.
I think plushies and cars can have souls so I think we could be friends
Sounds perfect for my family with my mom who won’t let us get a pet
Get a dog mannequin. I left it on the front porch before I brought it in and I got my mom all worked up saying, "okay, I know you might be mad but I found this abandoned in the trash and I couldn't just leave it there!"
Then I brought in a dog mannequin. My dad loved it. My mom hated it. I thought it was totally worth it. My dad and I would move it around the house scolding it or praising it depending on where we put it.
If the dog didn't come with a name (Barker... He was a mannequin from a store where I worked), I would have named him Rowdy.
Mine is absolutely like another pet. You even get the full experience of watching where you step it it's running!
thank you so much for this!
But we all talk to our Roombas anyway, they might as well be pets. https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/bag7qz/ganbatte_roombasan/
Ours is called Dolores. She's great
Reminds me of when my parents "robotic lawnmower"? Took his life in a lake that's 20 meters away from his original route, they got text msg saying " hurbert went off route" "Hubert has been electrocuted". Not sure if the translation is correct but it's a funny story.
Mine was doing fine yesterday until I received I message saying something along the lines of „I am stuck. Help!“. When I went to look it was just standing in the middle of the room with nothing stuck anywhere. Ah well... sometimes I need attention too so I understand.
He was having a mid floor crisis.
Was it surrounded by natural sunlight? I’ve noticed natural sunlight can confuse their sensors into thinking they’re trapped.
[Help me, step-robot. I'm stuck!](https://i.imgur.com/whkfaC8.jpg)
That was an open invitation...
Oh Herb, why you so needy?
Herbie not so fully loaded, am I right?
Name him Cliffard
Yeah, you got stuck. nice try step roomba
I’m currently on my third, because the first two detected cliffs and decided to continue their suicide journey down the basement stairs 😂
Oh, I get it. Herbert Hoover.
herbert is literally me . i stay being over dramatic
*"Hey step-owner, I'm stuck"*
This is why I never let Maude the mop follow Reggie the Robot. She’d just push him over the cliff and follow him.
I have an i7 (same brand) and it just sucks.
(No really, it doesn’t do corners. You constantly have to pick-up cat toys because the vacuum gets stuck on them. You have to clear the sensor at its mouth because of all the cat hairs after every run. It knocks over empty glass bottles in the kitchen. It leaves cat hairs on mats and carpets. Sometimes it even gets stuck on power cords that I tucked away in corners.)
I thought I would save time with this, but after 3 years. It just sits on its dock, sometimes not even charging while I use my old fashioned vacuum cleaner.
- eat hair
- immediately gets sick on cat hair
- chews on cords
- chews on cat toys
- tips over plastic bottles
- sits where it's supposed to but still doesn't do what u want it to
congrats on your robotic cat! the future really is amazing.
Well, it's supposed to suck
Glad you pointed that out, I didn’t realize that when I typed that one-liner.
Herbert sends notifications? Way cool
Ours is called Bunga Bunga.
Ours is Higgins. We affectionately call him Higgy.
To be fair, the world is a very different place when you're two inches tall.
i swear to god these "stuck near a cliff" messages dude. Mine keeps folding over carpets only to mount it afterwards and then panic. This stuck near a cliff thing is the biggest downside of these things - especially if it won't even save the roomba as shown in OP's picture
He’s doing his best you monster
Still smilin tho
Rename that vacuum - Herb the Derp
Get yo shit together Herbert
I want an Irobot now
We call ours zoomie, she's a sassy minx
I just got one of these little guys and it's one of the best investments I made in a long time. All i say is "Okay Google start Suzy". And she off, she can even mop. Great little thing. But they are indeed dramatic.
I put mine in the bathroom and he busies himself wandering around sucking up talc and that, does a really good job. If I set him going where I can see him I find myself just watching him and worrying that he's missed a bit.
Yeah sometimes I just stand and watch her go. Great little things.
Which one do you have? Most of our floors are hard surfaces and need the mopping feature.
Ecovac U2 Pro, good price with all the bells and whistles. Great strater vac
Imma get one of these and stick big googly eyes on it 😁
He'll do it! He'll jump!
My vacuum "Spaulding" will send me the same message if he gets near a rug!
As soon as I saw this, I thought of Michael Reeves, and the screaming roomba he created
[Michael Reeves - Screaming Roomba](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvz3LRK263E)
Herbert should call a step-Herbert
This reminds me of that post about the vacuum that literally had no suction mechanism, just a flat bottom (same)
edit: [found it! ](https://www.reddit.com/r/crappyoffbrands/comments/dzo67w/mother_knew_i_wanted_a_roomba_but_didnt_want_to/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
This is basically my ex girlfriend whenever I wanted to talk about my problems.
ITS A CLIFF TO HIM!
Its Herbert Hoover!
Charge your phone my guy