T O P
keepthetips

Hello and welcome to r/LifeProTips! Please help us decide if this post is a good fit for the subreddit by up or downvoting this comment. If you think that this is great advice to improve your life, please upvote. If you think this doesn't help you in any way, please downvote. If you don't care, leave it for the others to decide.


MangoRainbows

My dad told me when I got my first car to not put on bumper stickers or get a personalized plate because cops can spot you easily. I thought this was very strange coming from my straight laced father in the 90s but I've never put a bumper sticker or gotten personalized plates.


hiphop_dudung

Lol, my dad slapped a honk if you're gay sticker as soon as i got my first car


tofu889

Just wait until you're on a long lonely road one night and you hear a novelty horn sound to the tune of "it's raining men"


woah_man

And all of the sudden there shined a shiny man, in the middle of the road


HatchetXL

Not unless hes telling me to "Plaaaay the best sooong in the world, or I'll eat your soul"


pikkdogs

One of my neighbors had a sticker on his truck that said “I support the president”, and now that the president changed he took the last two words off so it just says “I support” and nobody knows what he supports.


venture243

We need more supportive people like this


AnalBees2

I support this sentiment


i_smoke_toenails

I support


RobbieAnalog

I'm against picketing, i just don't know how to show it.


justiceguy216

He plays League of Legends and mains a support character. Truly a noble gentleman.


Dan-tastico

I don't blame him, queue times for DPS are a bitch


Beckpatton

Are you saying I shouldn't put the "Honk if you'd rather be watching 1999's The Mummy starring Brendan Fraser and Rachel Weisz" sticker on my car that my sister got me for my birthday?


Warpedme

HONK


IOwnTheShortBus

HONK


Tommy-Taffy

HONK


pandami7319

HONK


OWeise

HONK


GiraffesLikeLettuce

HONK


TwinDad4Life

HONK


Number174631503

HONK


grilledzipper

what are all these geese doing on the highway??


Arghianna

HONK


[deleted]

[удалено]


godinthismachine

Lmao, saw a vid on youtube some woman goin off on two guys for following her and about how crazy it was...turns out she had pulled off from a pump, tore off the hose and they were just trying to inform her...she got all pissed threw it in her car and drove off. Rofl


TARANTULA_TIDDIES

Why do so many many people have such a hard time admitting they are wrong. Like come on, we're all wrong sometimes, we're all human. Annoys the piss out of me. Like when I honk at someone for almost changing lanes into me and then they honk back as if it's my fault


Joeb667

People who cannot admit personal wrongdoing are pathetic.


montero65

"I have a boyfriend, creep!"


Raynenred

Lol that’s when I tell her … me too !! 🤣


ebz37

Idk how people can punk honk stickers on their car. I would honestly forget I have that prompt on my car and just get pissed at people for honking at me when I'm doing nothing wrong.


i34789

I think those people get regularly honked at so they put it on there to feel better about being a terrible driver.


KUR1B0H

God the guy in front of me is driving like an asshole but I can't honk at him cause he has a "Honk if you're stupid" sticker.


ebz37

He just reverse uno you. That son of a bitch!


dogbreath101

It's a simple spell but quite effective


Iggyhopper

I saw one that says if I passed you on the right it's because you're a moron.


schmetterlingonberry

I just bought this sticker a couple of weeks ago and have it on mine. Zero regrets.


blockminster

I want everyone to know that my neighbor has had this sticker on her car for over a year and that you guys are late to the party!


Neferhathor

I need this sticker. It's my favorite movie and I'd always be rather watching this cinematic masterpiece. Side note: are you gonna buy any merch from the collection at Hot Topic?


Catvros

The only religious bumper sticker I saw and liked was ^^^do ^^^you ^^^follow ^^^jesus ^^^this ^^^closely


ThatLeviathan

It depends on whether Jesus is holding up traffic in a passing lane, something that Luke 6:31 seems to preclude.


SpudCaleb

“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” ‭‭ -Luke‬ ‭6:31‬‬‬


mysticalchimp

For the interested https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%206%3A31&version=NIV


[deleted]

[удалено]


ActuallyAkiba

That must rile up all 4 of your neighbors


Hold_the_gryffindor

Oh come on. That commentor can't possibly live next to everyone in Idaho.


[deleted]

They get really excited at first, see the driver, and then normalize back to equilibrium.


oneofakidn

Camouflage


KhabaLox

https://gfycat.com/heftymilkygordonsetter


SPER

That gif both ends too soon and starts too late.


saybrook1

Yeah that gif sucks lol


its_raining_scotch

I had a professor in college that was a very head-in-the-clouds kind of guy. He bought a used car that had a bunch of stickers on it for bands, karate, politics, etc. I didn’t know this so once when I saw him in the parking lot I said “hey professor, you’re into karate? And band XYZ? That’s cool!” And he looked at me like I was crazy so I was like “…ya know, the bumper stickers…all over your car about those things?” And he said “oh those aren’t mine, I bought that car used.” and then nodded as a way to show the confusion was explained. But that’s actually when the real confusion began for me because why would he keep other peoples stickers? I’m not judging, but one of first things I’d do if I bought a car with bumper stickers is remove them (unless they happened to align with me or if they were ironically funny).


j-rock292

I bought a car that the bumper looked like it had been stickerbombed, stickers on top of stickers not an inch of paint. After about 2 hours of peeling them off and being nowhere near done I gave up and left them


millertime0503

Goo-b-gone


Aguacate_con_TODO

Nah. Y'all need Mostenbocker's Lift Off II. Or if you're really good at making friends, stop by a sign shop and ask for some Rapid Remover. 👌


millertime0503

Cunningham’s Law: “The best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question; it's to post the wrong answer." You fell right into my trap!


ds_afk

He didn't remove them because he didn't give a fuck lol


tnredneck98

"I'm playing both sides so I always come out on top."


legno

Well played, man. Also good username, lol.


AviDarling

I don't put any stickers of any kind on my car because that makes it much more identifiable to stalkers or police. I'd rather blend in & not be known. Edit: "It's easy if you memorize the license plate" — Sure, it can be. Most normal people don't take the time to do that though, thankfully. I still feel much safer in a parking lot with the same car of the same colour as 50 other people. Plus those tags can always get changed. People can & WILL stalk you for the dumbest shit in this day & age. Like driving faster than them (Ford F-150 people do this a lot) or if you're a woman & tell a man no (my many personal experiences). Hope that explains the logic a bit.


imapassenger1

"Has personalised plate: ASSMAN..."


Duosion

My favorite personal plate I ever saw read “EW PPL” and for a second I felt psychically linked to whoever that person was.


Calibrated-Waffles

One in my neighborhood has “CAAARL” always makes me chuckle.


rock_flag_n_eagle

anustart


SkyezOpen

"She hadn't seen the license plate"


i_am_your_attorney

It was a one-in-a-million shot, doc. One-in-a-million.


GiveUpTuxedo

This guy crimes


joshstrodomus

On the opposite end of that , when my 90s camry got stolen a few years ago , the thief had swapped plates so the only distinguishable things were the stickers (local radio station stuff)


indigo-black

i have a bumper sticker that says "bumper sticker" in comic sans


Phantommy555

That’s atrocious, I like it


SnazzyStooge

I have a t-shirt that says “Helvetica” but it’s written in comic sans.


Bacontoad

You should get some shorts that say "*T-Shirt*" across the rear.


spinosapa

You should get one that says "bumper sticker" in wingdings.


icesharkk

Everyone will just assume it's a coexist sticker


Turbulent_Cat_5731

My contribution to the "coexist" ideal is letting the spider in my wingmirror make his web all over the damn place.


korelabs

I drive a 98 Cherokee, stickers are the only thing holding it together.


[deleted]

[удалено]


rgrtom

When there was nobody on the road? Nobody on the beach?


darkmatternot

I feel it in the air, the summers out of reach.


Aear

Empty lake, empty streets, the sun goes down alone.


Jewsafrewski

I'm driving by your house, though I know you're not home


TempusVincitOmnia

But I can see you, your brown skin shining in the sun


FormerLurker3

Weird, I put a Black Flag sticker on mine and some emo kids did a really solid cover of the same song


Dysthymike

I did the same and now my radio only plays sea shanties.


maraxgold

You can never look back.


Massive-Spread8083

I always thought it was the crazies who had bumper stickers


Eidsoj42

Any more than two bumper stickers and I definitely start to question how crazy someone is.


greenfingers559

I once saw a jeep that had a sticker for each state they drove through. I thought that was kinda neat, not any kind of opinions or politics. Just celebrating the vehicles explorations.


ghost501

I was behind someone at a stoplight a while back that had a bumper sticker that said "I pooped Today <3)".


Roscoe_P_Coaltrain

When you get to a certain age, that is indeed an accomplishment to celebrate.


MatureUsername69

Or if youre like me and your diet is still heavily dairy based despite being lactose intolerant: 'I pooped several times before leaving the house today'


jmat83

And if your diet is heavily dairy based and you’re _not_ lactose intolerant, you’re probably not pooping nearly as often as you should.


NhylX

Driving behind them I would find that comforting.


densetsu23

Rooftop cargo boxes get a pass, too. I love seeing them full of stickers from parks and ski hills, and random outdoor gear brands. What I'd want, though, is a vinyl wrap for my box. A nice mountain scene or something. I've seen custom painted "murals", but haven't found wraps yet.


qualmton

I'm sure if you find a tint shop that does wrapping they could wrap one


Amriorda

I second this. My last company would do full vinyl wraps of their work vehicles, and we had some weird shaped vehicles. I'm sure a turtle top would be pretty easy to wrap.


GrindcoreNinja

It's not my fault all my favorite bands give me free stickers every time I buy merch! Lol


charlesthefish

Tf dude my metalcore/hardcore merch doesn't come with stickers. I'm getting robbed, time to start listening to grindcore


BumpinPanda

Until it's covering your entire trunk, then I choose to believe you're doing it ironically.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


well-lighted

I can't even imagine the person who voted for Carter (only the 2nd time), Mondale, Dukakis, HW Bush (only the 2nd time), Dole, Gore, Kerry, McCain, and Romney either. What a glorious clusterfuck for anyone driving behind them.


Papplenoose

That's awesome


HotRodLincoln

It's holding the bumper cover on.


Impressive-Donkey221

It’s mostly sticker on sticker crime


well_uh_yeah

One of the questions they asked when I had jury duty was if anyone had political bumper stickers on their cars. One guy had to say, "Well...it shouldn't be political but I have one about climate change being real."


Dirty_Old_Town

I've been a mechanic for years and in and out of a zillion cars. If someone has a bumper sticker promoting a particular breed of dog, their car is *way* more likely to smell horrible than a regular person's car.


moresnowplease

I don’t need a bumper sticker to warn you of the dog hair, it presents itself when you open the door.. that and the nose prints on the window should give it away! So sorry about the mess, on behalf of dog owners everywhere!! And to be fair, I do have a dog bumper sticker, the one that says “tell your dog I said hi.”


hippywitch

I own a husky and always apologized to my mechanics about the hair issue. You always wear dark colors and my husky wants to be part of everyone’s clothes.


Serenity-03K64

Have a bumper sticker that says “tell your dog I said hi”… have a sable German shepherd that wants to be a part of everyone’s clothes with both white and black on most hairs!


sardonycus

I saw a bumper sticker on a really old truck that said "honk if anything falls off". 🤣


A911owner

Back in college I was driving this real piece of shit Toyota truck that I paid $300 for. The back bumper was really rotted out and one day I hit a hard bump and heard a scraping noise. I pulled over and found the bumper had fallen off, and landed on the trailer hitch, but was so rotten it folded around the hitch and was dragging on the ground like a set of giant metal truck nuts. I just picked it up and threw it in the bed and went about my day. A while later one of my coworkers said he saw that happen (I was on campus at the time) and he apparently said to his girlfriend "that guy is going to be a millionaire some day".


Nail_Biterr

Someone once told me 'I like merging in traffic more than I like any political party' and that always stuck with me


Rrraou

Well, if done right, merging in traffic can be extremely satisfying when compared to voting.


Kushkaki

Nothing gets me off as much as a zipper merge being done properly with nobody jumping the gun. It’s a fleeting sense of enjoyment


RemixedBlood

Occasionally, merging in traffic gets me somewhere I want to go


hennsippin

And helps others along the way


Silverbrick13

This man ate my son


[deleted]

I want to kiss every bug but they are so small and my lips are so strong. Another good one


al0_

I saw a car with this first time the other morning and cackled. I cackled some more when I saw on the other side of his bumper was a MILF sticker "Man, I love frogs" and a frog just vibin on the sticker.


brigitteer2010

I have that one ahahahahahahaha


selectbetter

Best I've seen was "tell your cat I say pspspspsps".


Omegaprimus

I doubt my “space balls the sticker” will offend anyone.


Lfsnz67

I am offended by the space between the words "Space" and "Balls".


ColMadBenStyke

Well I'm not a fan of "The" or "Sticker"


Kingnahum17

I am offended by the space between your "Space" and "Balls".


CaptainIcy3433

I don’t know - I wore my “**Spaceballs the face mask**” during Covid and apparently freaked out a woman in the grocery store… Too funny when someone shows what an uncultured swine they are. I man, who doesn’t like Spaceballs?!?


scarbellyX

Maybe they were druish


Anxious_Pixie

I walked past a car once that was plastered with squirrel stickers...."I love squirrels", "crazy squirrel lady" and the like, shit was hilarious. Can't target crazies if you're the crazy. LOL


thechairinfront

I have a "blackboard" bumper sticker. I can write on it with chalk and wipe it off. It's come in very useful and it's fun on trips to put new things on it. Some days when I'm in a good mood I put nice things on it and tell people I'm proud of them.


ThatSadGuyIsMe

Has anyone else ever wrote on it when you were parked somewhere?


thechairinfront

Not that I've noticed. It's just a black sticker about 6"x6" on the back of my car. You need chalk to be able to write on it.


ThatSadGuyIsMe

Ah ok lol I would always be worried someone would run up with some chalk and write stuff on it.


thechairinfront

I would love it if someone did. Even if it's something hateful it washes right off.


jljboucher

I saw a YouTube video of a guy who spray painted his entire van in chalk paint so his kids could draw on it. I kinda want to do that to my car now.


fibrepirate

Actually, a cop told my friend who had her car stolen that the bumper stickers helped them recover and identify it. So do or do not, the choice is yours.


YVR_Coyote

I guess a "fuck the police" bumper sticker would get your plate run by every cop, so if it gets stolen you'll get it back quicker... seems like a good idea to me.


aunttjemima

I have a small Jigglypuff on mine. Come fight me over it, whatever.


soundofwinter

This is Clefairy territory, motherfucker


ebac7

~~Bloods vs Crips~~ Puffs vs Clefs


ufluidic_throwaway

You're under air rest.


Applebomber24

Only if you're over like 30% though, otherwise it might not KO


ImWithSt00pid

It's not there anymore. I threw a PokeBall at it and now it's mine


TheyCallMeStone

`The trainer blocked the BALL!` `Don't be a thief!`


dogbreath101

Team snagem doesn't care they have the snag machine


iaincaradoc

Knowing who the crazies are is most of the battle.


PM_UR__BUBBLE_BUTTS

I’ll make it easier for you: >! it’s everyone !<


matt2085

Everyone except me I swear


xelle24

Back during Obama's first term, I had a bumper sticker that read "Vote Cthulhu! The Stars Are Right". A guy accosted me in a supermarket parking lot, aggressively wanting to know who this "Chooloo" guy was, and what office he was running for. I asked him if he'd ever heard of H.P. Lovecraft, and he said he thought it was an airplane manufacturer. At that point I gave up and told him to look it up on the internet and "all will become clear". I was even nice enough to write down the name of "that Chooloo guy, sounds like a immigrant name". Well, yes, I suppose Cthulhu would be an immigrant...of sorts. Don't forget to get out there and vote!


Snarker

HP Lovecraft does sound like an airplane manufacturer to be fair lol.


xelle24

I've always thought it sounded like some kind of specialty boats...the kind you take to somewhere like [Innsmouth](https://www.hplovecraft.com/writings/texts/fiction/soi.aspx).


sybrwookie

I started off college proud of my college. Got a bumper sticker for the college. Got pulled over by cops around the college constantly. That car died, next car, didn't put a bumper sticker on it. Stopped getting pulled over. No, my driving didn't change. Cops in the area were targeting the college kids. So LPT, it's not just crazies, it's also cops with an agenda.


Angelic_Doom

Get the Alumni one, those deter, bonus points if you get the law school one.


-insignificant-

> if you get the law school one. That's actually pretty clever.


DweadPiwateWoberts

Ooo get one from one of the ivy league schools


beeboopPumpkin

This is the exact reason i have a sigil of the Rohirrim on mine. You know… so they know not to pull me over on the first light of the fifth day.


skelebone

I would be lying if I said the law school decal on my back window wasn't there for potential law enforcement intimidation purposes.


AlasknAssasn858

I have a self deprecating sticker so I don’t care “Cool Prius” -Nobody On a Prius….


pc_flying

Not fast Just loud - on my beat-to-hell F150


El_Moi

I used to have a VW sticker with the logo that read "0 to 60 in 5 minutes". I wish I still had it, it was hilarious.


hoptownky

How am I supposed to tell people to ☪☮℮✡☥☯✝


Dirtbagdownhill

I'm gonna break a window and take your crystals and your weed.


IrateBarnacle

I agree with the sentiment but they’re just so tacky


eel3918

I once had a bumper sticker that said “Authorized Vehicle” you know in case I wanted to make a U-turn on the highway. I thought it was hysterical and extremely clever. No one else did.


firey21

Nah the ones with the bumper stickers tend to be the crazies.


oo-mox83

Everyone needs to know how much I love Battlestar Galactica.


Leo-707

Don't forget bears and beets.


-malcolm-tucker

So say we all.


azanzel

So say we all


Hazmat616

Bears


MorgothTheThird

This morning I saw some car with a giant dog sticker covering half the back window, the wiper was it's tail. About 8 other animal stickers all over the window. Harmless stickers but I 100% assumed she was crazy.


Little_Raspberry_

I was looking for this comment. Seems like the more bumper stickers the higher the neuroticism.


chaos8803

A study in 2008 found that people with more bumper stickers were more prone to [road rage.](https://www.nature.com/articles/news.2008.889)


[deleted]

My grandparents had an old, hideous canary-canary yellow station wagon that they would lend to friends and family who visited for free, on the condition that they put a bumper sticker on it. I never saw the thing because it died before I was born but I'm told it was absolutely covered, to the point that you basically couldn't see the original paint job.


nuhtnekcam_25

Though if you live in a tourist destination having bumper stickers or a decal on your car is beneficial. Differentiates locals versus rental cars.


Devmurph18

i mean not every sticker is a political statement lol some are just like band stickers


high-bridmind

Then someone crazy who hates that band, keys your car or cuts you off.


SuppliceVI

Or any minor thing. People suck


khorijinn

I want one that just says: "Bumper sticker".


IrianJaya

Does anyone remember how after 9/11 it seems like everyone in the US had those yellow ribbons on their cars? Well, I didn't because I don't like having anything on my car. And I would get people questioning me why I didn't. Did I not care?? Well, it wasn't because I didn't care, I just didn't believe that having a ribbon on my car was relevant in any way. Eventually, one of my friends gave me a ribbon magnet, which I felt compelled to put on my car just so that people would leave me alone about it.


ema_G

Who? Who doesn’t want to wear the ribbon?


the_one_jt

I only target square people with no bumper stickers.


KingLouiesPinkyToe

Im sure my 'Namaste, Bitches' sticker is perfectly safe from crazies


CuriousKitten0_0

I love it when people put geeky stickers on their cars. Makes me smile. I had a neighbor who had "I'm a leaf on the wind, watch how I soar" bumper sticker. Made me smile, then cry 🤣


Asphalt_outlaw

Can confirm. Had "I ❤️ Mormon pussy" on my rig rocket when I lived in Utah. It's a good thing my paint was already shot


2020Bun

A HS teacher also said DO NOT GENDER YOUR CAR. She had her nickname as vanity plates. She said when she was walking up to her car one day, she spotted a dude underneath it as if to grab her as she got in the drivers seat. So no cute decorations or number stickers that are gender leaning. Also, related side note reminder, lock your car the second you get in. My friend had a guy try to get in the passenger seat door to hit on her


metajenn

My car has a setting to only open the drivers side when i unlock it. My boyfriend has to wait for me to get in and unlock his door.


[deleted]

[удалено]


shiny_xnaut

>she spotted a dude underneath it as if to grab her as she got in the drivers seat That sounds like a great way to get run over


salesmunn

If you have to do this, make it a magnet instead of a sticker. Easily removed. You can buy magnet sheets online. Just put your sticker on that magnet sheet and cut it out.


e-joculator

Make sure you remove it occasionally though. I had a jokey support magnet on my first car the entire time I owned it, and when I went to sell the car I couldn't remove the magnet, it only came off in small pieces and took paint with it. I guess the sun somehow baked it into the paint over the years. It was also a shitty neon so who knows.


TaySwaysBottomBitch

To be fair you can peel the paint off neons if you wash it normally. I've owned 2 and one with 20k miles still had really shit paint even though it wasn't being in the sun all the time


[deleted]

[удалено]


legno

Username checks out


Lindaspike

not too mention NO ONE cares that your kid is a honor student, or that you ran a half marathon.


[deleted]

[удалено]


bengibbardstoothpain

I have a sticker on my car for the college I went to because it's not very well-known and I want to subtly promote it. I have some funny ones I've collected over the years but I am reluctant to display them in case they get misread and I get run off the road. Not worth it.