By - ExNihiloAdInfinitum
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I am a therapist, can confirm. I have been to, worked with, and seen the work done by some absolute hacks who should never have been able to become therapists.
Edit: I don't log in a lot and so have just now seen the responses. I went and commented on a few. Also, I don't want to scare people, there are many competent therapists out there, some amazing ones, some average ones, and a minority of shitty ones. Seek help if you feel you need it but you can be cautious and look for a good fit in your therapist.
I did CPS for a few years and while there are absolutely amazing therapists out there, there is also definitely a chunk of them who are arrogant ass wipes. ie. talking down to me as if I were some peasant, trying to insert themselves into legal cases, etc.
Do you happen to know my boss, because that describes him very well.
Yes, probably. He's a piece of shit.
During my parents divorce my sis and I were sent to a man who asked if we wanted to play dolls I understand why but being on the old side for that technique he went for the game he created first question ‘is it ok for a boy to scratch his privates in public? We noped right out of there as he began to delve into the particulars creepy
There's a anti vax girl in my gfs nursing courses
theres doctors i know that are antiVax!
some even appear to be antivax to get more attention! lol
There are doctors that don’t believe in evolution.
Here’s an easy metric:
Ideology > Intellect
Yeah. There could be some genius person, graduated from the best university, best test scores and all that jazz but they could be an arrogant, stubborn jackass which would mean they're probably a totally shitty wack ineffective therapist
You got some issue with peasants, BOY...?
I just switched therapists. I felt bad because my first one was still finishing up her observation hours so she was still fairly new. I tried to keep that in mind but I felt like our sessions were going absolutely nowhere. Like I would just tell her what was going on in my life and then I'd leave. There was nothing from her. Sometimes she'd say, "What do you want to work on today?" But I didn't know what I had to work on other than having depression and anxiety. Like she wanted very specific things from me but I didn't know what to tell her. I would tell her that and she would just say, "Well if you don't have anything then we can just end early." I switched and in the first session with another person I had more answers than I had in the months of seeing the other person. (I'm a people pleaser and had a rough time "breaking up" with my therapist so it took a while to actually do it.)
I'm in this situation now. "This is everything I thought and felt since last time. This is what I think it means according to the books I read. Ok great, see you in two weeks."
I've known I needed to break up with her for... Like two years? /grimace. There's been some boundary issues and I know wayyy too much about her life which has made me feel worse about ending things. I've decided to do it next session, but I've been feeling really pessimistic about finding a replacement. I'm a high functioning client, so I feel like maybe the issues I want to address aren't big enough to warrent continuing therapy? Or that no one else will think I'm worth their time to see?
Ok, so, typing that out helps me validate my reasons for wanting to continue, lol. But it makes me hopeful to read you made a lot of progress with your new therapist! I really want someone who can assist me with all the self help work I'm trying to do on my own and it's relieving to know there are therapists out there who actually do that.
High functioning is relative. If you don't mind me asking, what do you see a therapist for, because I assure you, seeing a therapist is not something you just do when something is wrong with you. It's a great way to help you process difficult issues you are dealing with. You don't have to be broken to go to therapy.
Just say that money is tight and you're going to have to stop sessions going forward for that reason.
My wife ended up having to find a psychologist because she had the same experience with therapists you did. She was basically paying to word vomit to someone.
Would have been cheaper to buy a rubber duck.
This is my experience with a psychologist. I realized last season I need to move on to someone else because all our sessions consist of is telling them what's happened in my life since the last time we talked.
My previous therapist was only a licensed therapist, not a psychologist, and they were better at this. Just gotta find the one who was meant for the work.
Are you me? I could’ve written every word aside from the part about finding a new therapists. Felt like I was paying to dictate my diary to a PhD.
What are some of the answers?
The very first therapist I ever saw busted out Freud at my second appointment :') he was probably well-meaning but obviously hadn't paid attention to the past few decades lmao
That reminds me. My psychologist on the website says he's trained in CBT and psychodynamic. I have some questions. Edit: about the psychodynamic part.
CBT is a common thing in therapy. Nothing wrong with saying you have experience in cognitive behavioral therapy.
About the psychodynamic part.
I have a ductor Freud in my office. It's a Dr Freud rubber duck. I got it when I visited his office.
My army therapist(licensed for psychology and employed in that role at DDEAMC) told me I was faking all my issues and shouldn't waste his or my unit's time.
Got a second, third, and 4th opinion that all diagnosed me with bipolar and severe anxiety and questioned why I was ever allowed to join the Army(answer being that the recruiter saw my test scores and guided me into lying on my forms and examinations).
Seeing the process of my sister becoming a therapist has confirmed this for me. She's moderately anti-science, attended the University of Phoenix (a school definitely associated with controversy about education quality), and jumped right into therapy without any direct supervision during sessions. The video camera to record her sessions for supervisor feedback was broken. Her internship manager told her not to tell any patients that she's an intern because then patients "won't take her seriously". He only checks in with her once a week. As a complete noob, she was assigned patients in dire situations such as actively suicidal, deeply depressed, or suffering from extreme alcoholism. She's highly religious and conservative so has never had a drink in her life and knows nothing about it, yet was advising a severe alcoholic on how to quit. There are a lot more stories, too. I had no idea how, I guess, unregulated, the process of becoming a therapist is. It seems deeply irresponsible. I wish I would have known this before staying with crap therapists for too long because I thought they must be right therefore I must be wrong.
That is what really makes a good therapist as well is the actual experience. You can read all you want on alcoholism and maybe be a bit helpful, but someone who has gone through it and come out the other side is the strongest support anybody can get in my opinion.
I agree. I also think her believing any drink of alcohol is a sin and that zero drinking of any kind is what's right for everybody, gets in the way of her being a good therapist for anyone like him. Maybe she wouldn't have to have been a former alcoholic to be effective (though, like you said, I bet that would help a lot) but at the very least, having a basic understanding of the difference between wine coolers and hard alcohol or 1 drink of beer vs 3 shots of tequila, seems like it should be a pre-requisite to treating someone with an alcohol problem.
Out of 4 therapists I've had only one that I could trust.
One of them would routinely fall asleep during sessions.
ZzzzmmphhzzGRK what was that again?
My therapist talks about an old office she used to work out of where they tried to get her to quit all the time and would steal from her personal office all the time. Just a window into the actual dynamics is awful yet refreshing.
You should have billed her for listening to that.
My issues are workplace related and she was trying to make the point of no job is perfect. I like when she brings up that kind of stuff, it helps me feel valid in my feelings
I went to one of those and can confirm. A real/good therapist shouldn't say stuff like that you got bullied because you didn't try hard enough to be their friend.
Yup my twice divorced father by title alone who legally abandoned his two children (my half siblings) because he didn't want to pay child support let alone abide by visitation since my step mom re-married a black man, is a licensed psychologist in Texas. One of my life goals is making sure I can discredit him and prevent him from attempting to help anyone professionally once I can get around to being able to interact with him in any capacity again just so he can't hurt anyone else.
There are also often specializations within medicine and law. You shouldn’t trust the advice of a gynecologist on your testicular torsion, unless that advice is “go see a urologist” or “go to the emergency room.”
Uh, if you have testicular torsion get to an emergency room ASAP, unless you didn't want to keep your nut.
Or your life
Sunddenly hyper aware of my nuts.
Can confirm, didn't go to the E.R. like a jackass and almost lost my nut
I work on an ambulance and I can not stress this enough. If i was ever in an emergency situation in public or on a plane or anything like that, a doctor is not at the too of my list unless they are an ER doc, and even then its a little iffy, docs are amazing at what they do. But the last time any of them have run a CPR is either decades ago or never. I will take a paramedic over damn near any doctor because its what we do. Even ER docs struggle a little because they are used to having unlimited resources and dozens of hands, we are used to little to no equipment and 2 of us. Once again, docs are legends at what they do but they are very specialized and very very out of their element in an emergency situation.
The last person would be a doctor? Come on that’s a bit hyperbolic. And an intensivist or an anesthesiologist would probably also be useful in that situation.
Seriously!!!!! I had a nightmare experience with a therapist and she came recommended by like 4 people I knew. She was horrible.
There are always going to be unkind, unethical and unprofessional people in every job. If you are unlucky and find one that isn’t, stop going and report them to their licensing board.
Unlike what most people in this thread believe, the majority of therapists are going to be competent. They go to school and practice for years to get paid a fraction of what a psychiatrist or doctor would. I cannot emphasize this enough, however: not every therapist will be a good fit for you. One therapist may be good for 4 friends, but isn’t clicking with you. That doesn’t mean you are bad at therapy or they are incompetent, it just means to talk to them and if that doesn’t work, try another therapist. Eventually one will click.
What people don’t usually understand about therapy is the idea of common factors. The connection between the therapist and client is, far and away, the most important part of therapy. Fit between therapist and client is vital to therapy being as effective as possible.
How do you go about looking for a good fit?
Start with the easy stuff: What times do you have available? Do you have a gender preference? An age preference? Does experience level matter to you?
After that, you are probably going to have to go with trial and error. Go to at least 3 sessions with a therapist. Afterwards ask yourself if you feel comfortable talking with them and if it is a good fit. If not, I would recommend talking to them about it, or finding another therapist and trying again.
This is all great advice. The one other thing that I would strongly recommend is that you talk to your therapist about how it’s going. Make sure they know what you do and don’t like about therapy.
People seem to forget that therapy is a consumer driven industry. The therapist may be the expert in the room, but if you don’t like them, their efforts aren’t going to be nearly as effective or helpful to the client as it could be. Trial and error is arguably the best way to figure this stuff out.
Edit: a word
>There are always going to be unkind, unethical and unprofessional people in every job. If you are unlucky and find one that *isn’t*
Do you mean **is* or do I understand this sentence wrong?
Right you are! Im hoping people are realizing from context that I am not advocating for unethical therapists.
Please report any unethical therapists. Not the normal ones.
I think therapists are like barbers: you go to 5 or 6, they fuck with your head and take your money, and then the 7th is the one you’ve been looking for your whole life and you cling to them like glue.
But seriously, most therapists are practicing whatever they wrote their thesis on and that’s going to vary wildly, a lot of folks write off the entirety of therapy after a few bad experiences with one or two. It’s really important to find the one who’s right for you.
Maybe I've just been lucky, but the few times I have had to pick out a new therapist in the past 5 years, the intake coordinator at a local bigger practice NAILED my selection. This place has 5 locations and nearly 100 therapists. First try and I had the same therapist for 4 years but then she retired :-(
I have a fairly unique personality and a fairly atypical life. It's extremely hard for me to find people I click with let alone therapists. The replacement therapist I was assigned to was, once again, a home-run. I've been talking to her for 6 months now.
If anyone reading this needs to find a therapist. Call a few local practices and describe yourself and why you want to seek therapy, and you may get lucky. But if you don't keep trying, do not give up. Your mental health is worth it.
To be honest, every therapist is not for everyone. That therapist might be good for the people who recommended her.
As a therapist, I 100% endorse that! I've only been qualified for less than 2 years, and I've had some patients where I was in over my head, and after each session I had to speak with my supervisors to debrief. I've had patients who I just didn't get on with and struggled to build rapport with. I want to consider myself a good therapist and I take pride in what I do, but my approach is never going to work with everyone, and that's okay. If a patient requests to see a different therapist, I don't take offence, I recommend my colleagues who I think will work better for that person.
Do you ever recommend patients see another therapist, if you don't feel qualified or have a good rapport?
Hey! I'm a therapist, and ethically speaking, you should refer out any client who is outside of your scope of practice or get supervision on the presenting issue. I have referred clients out when I feel like another therapist will be a better fit.
Seconding this. I work in crisis and make referrals all the time, and I tell clients that counseling is a relationship.
It's a *professional* relationship, but a relationship nonetheless. You don't have to mesh like besties, but you have to be on the level with each other. Need to click well enough that you feel okay being open and honest.
\^ I second this question. I kind of feel like my therapist doesn't get on with me and I have no idea how to address that.
I’m a therapist, and if you feel stuck with a bad therapist, I strongly support a client’s right to ghost their therapist. Having some unnecessary expectation about ending the relationship properly shouldn’t be on you. It should be the therapist’s job to create a relationship where you don’t want to ghost them. Otherwise, just do it. And don’t worry about hurting their feelings. It’s an occupational hazard. Every therapist needs to learn to tolerate ghosting.
Also a therapist, if it’s not working just move on. It’s fine to ghost too. If the therapist is mature and compassionate they will understand. I’m a terrible, terrible patient so I get it haha.
Thanks. That's such a weird thing to hear because I feel like the (admittedly few) therapists I've seen have been staunchly anti-ghosting. Which I get, I worry a lot about doing it because I'm conflict-avoidant rather than because it's the right thing to do, but if I REALLY don't feel like a therapist fits with me, I don't want to pay money to see them again just for 'closure'.
I will say that you probably shouldn’t ghost if your discomfort is about the work of therapy (and you feel good about the therapist). That discomfort will follow you to a different therapist who might be a worse fit.
Yeah, I definitely agree with that. And that's one of those things that you could legitimately not know about yourself...and never find out either of you don't stick with a therapist long enough for them to help you realize it.
I’m a psychologist. Absolutely I do this, and will continue. A large chunk of the progress that happens in therapy is due to how well you get along with your therapist. If we dont mesh or if I don’t specialize in what they need, I’ll gladly help them find someone that does. I tell all of my clients day 1, if you’re not feeling it that is 100% ok! I’m not for every person, and every person isn’t for me.
Recommending a better fit to your clent is part of what makes you a great therapist.
My therapist reminds every time we do our evaluation, also brings it up anytime I feel uncomfortable talking about something
Lawyer here- the reason I went to law school is because I met so many dumb lawyers and realized I could Absolutely be one.
I’d say most of the ones I have met are competent but there are def a few complete morons. I assume they are apathetic because going to law school and passing the bar isn’t exactly “easy” so I think they just don’t care anymore.
Am also lawyer, can confirm. You don't have to be *that* smart to be a lawyer, just normal.
>they just don’t care anymore.
Probably because law school, the bar, and clerking are all hella soul crushing. Or was that just me?
Absolutely...it amazes me that people automatically think a “professional” couldn’t be bad at their job...it’s something you definitely learn as you get older...well atleast I did
this can help people, like i found hard way, took me 2-3 years to change dentist
you simply think there is no way he is doing you bad
maybe not bad, but def there is someone doing 100x better
someone gradueted 30y ago and never goes to seminars ? not up to date..
My ortho is quite possibly unlicensed. I'd already informed her before covid hit that I'd be transferring to someone else, and recently, when I tried to contact her again to get that delayed plan moving, she won't respond to me.
I'd already paid her half what she asked and she'd given me only five months of service. She's basically stealing the rest of my money now, and I don't understand how she's not scared of the repercussions to her practice and reputation unless she's already lost her license before I came along.
Made my blood boil at the time, but now I'm just planning out my campaign to get back at her, or really just to get my money back.
Do you live in the states? If so most states allow you look up someone’s license status in their database, and will tell you in they have any negative information on file.
Thank for the tip. I don't live there, but here's hoping there's also something like that in my country.
There almost certainly is!
I had an aching tooth while having braces so my ortho sent me to a regular dentist to have it checked. This dentist checked them with this one test and said two of my teeth were basically dead and they had to remove them. They wanted to book me that same week but I had an important meeting at work during their only available time so we pushed it forward a few weeks.
Luckily I had another appointment with my ortho before that and she asked me how it went, I told her about the test and results and she raised her eyebrows and asked me if maybe I was forgetting another test with a machine. I said no, there was no machine, she gets visibly upset, calls the dentist and tells them to schedule another test. They do it and it turns out my teeth are just fine.
So basically my ortho saved two completely healthy teeth and also about USD $650 that I would have paid to have them removed.
I have trust issues after that.
True. Also dentists are difficult because often you have to trust them.
My friend was told by her dentist she needed a root canal and to fix a cavity. She didn't experience discomfort so she went to another dentist who then told her she needed some fillings in another area, but didn't mention anything else. So now what? Go pay for a third opinion? It's frustrating.
Just because you don't experience discomfort or pain doesn't mean there isn't a problem lurking underneath that you're not even aware of. Radiographs and even simply visual and tactile information can reveal cavities and necessary root canals. Don't dismiss a dentist's treatment advice simply because you don't "see" or "feel it". Some people who need root canals may feel pain at first, but then it goes away and the patient will think they don't need to seek treatment for it anymore because the feeling "passed." That's because the pulp has become necrotic (dead) at that point. Dentists may decide to place a filling as a preventative disease control measure because the cavity could worsen over time as it grows closer to the pulp and then you bet you'll start to feel some pain at that point. Just know that pain isn't always indicative of issues.
Agreed, i'm FULL of cavities and they never hurt, last time my dentist told me he will count them and give me a quote. Holy hell it's a fortune.
But also i had a tooth that NEVER hurt just one day a piece broke off, went to the dentist, she touched THE wet cotton to my tooth that usually makes me clench my butthole but... nothing, tooth was as dead as a tooth can get, had to be pulled out.
For this reason I always request a younger specialist/doctor/professional. Not only more up to date but generally motivated and not afraid to seek advice to become better at their profession.
I googled my current dentist and he’s so green his teenage camp alumni news articles come up before his dentist review site profiles and his practice.
He’s also the only dentist I’ve ever had that I didn’t completely hate. Doesn’t upsell me on stupid shit, but always try’s to help me understand anything he points out.
Piggybacking on this to say don’t let your dentist do your root canals. Get an endodontist. I got a couple of root canals by dentists that turned out really bad and ultimately lost both teeth. Spend the money upfront! It’s worth it.
Problem is that endodontists do not accept 95% of your stupid low reimbursement dental insurances and nobody wants to/can't pay $1300-1600 out of pocket for just a root canal. Most only accept Delta Dental. If you have any insurance other than delta dental, you are most likely stuck with your general dentist doing your root canal unless you want to shell out money.
There's plenty of dentists capable of doing root canals. An endo really should be reserved for difficult cases like angled roots.
This really varies a LOT from dentist to dentist.
All endos and oral surgeons are dentists. Not all dentists are equipped to handle the problems that can crop up with a difficult extraction or root canal.
Do people not go to professional that understand their limitations? Every dentist I have ever been too has known where their care stops and has excellent colleagues that they can reccomend. Same with medicine.
Not true. Missed anatomy, extra canals and accessory canals, is a common cause of reinfection. Having to redo root canal treatment is less successful after the first time. See an endodontist or a dentist with special interest in endo. Do it once do it right.
You will almost never regret being treated by a specialist in any field.
Your wallet will
But only if you get lucky with the dentist. If you don’t and the root canal is botched, having a tooth pulled, bone graft and implant with crown is far more expensive than going to an endodontist in the first place.
Agree. I’ve had two by endodontist and both times it was mentioned that I had a sneaky 5th rot/nerve hiding that could have easily been missed. And to take note for future as if you have one (molar) than you likely have it in mirror teeth. Basically said he always checks just in case but it’s easy to miss...
I’ve also had a neighbor get his tooth royally messed up by a dentist and the dentist office had to pay for months of treatment from oral surgeon because of a bad root canal done by dentist .
This sounds like there's more than what you're telling... This more sounds like your teeth were going to fall apart anyway, regardless of what that dentist did or didn't do
Obviously can't say for certain without having been there, but I can't imagine a situation where a dentist could cause that much damage in that amount of time. If your teeth were in good shape before he did that work it's basically impossible.
My GF roommate is a doctor and literally said "I'm not going to adjust my life in any way because of covid. We're all going to just get it anyway so what's the point."
And this is knowing that If she gets it, she will give it to her roommate, which will pass on to me which will pass on to my daughter and so on.
Lol what? What country are you living in, that's insanely illegal in civilised world. You need a certain amount of yearly 'points' here to keep your licence. You earn these by attending seminars and lectures etc.
Wow. Just wow.
I think they cost money.
I worked with an optometrist. He had to attend several a year to keep his lisence current.
I think it's great. Rather them be forced to pay $500 a year and spend 3 days at seminars out of their $100-400hr salaries rather than get a degree from 25 years ago and know nothing about today's medical standards.
Most allied health care professions need continuing education and pay a small fee (probably less than $500) to renew their license. And I think you have the pay of an optometrist wrong. They probably make $40-50 an hour $200 an hour would be $400,000 a year.
I live in Australia our wages are higher than the US because our living costs are stupidly high.
Also $100hr to Australia is really $70/hr to you because the AUD dollar is crap.
I don't know his licence fees but the seminars weren't free.
The casual one earned $100 an hour ($70 US).
The regular ones were easily on $100k ($70k US) a year start salaries but where required to fly all over Australia as the boss requested.
Edit :400k refers more to a doctor or surgeon.
But optoms are definitely in the 100k+ where i live.
You wanna hear about a Dentist who isn't Kind or Ethical? Just read about fucking Aspen dental. Told me that the only course of action for my, admittedly poorly maintained, teeth was to basically rip them all out and do partials or dentures for like 10,000-20,000 dollars. Dentures. I'm a 20 year old with anxiety(especially about the dentists office) and you tell me that shit during my "free" check up(which is only free if your 21+ but no one said that despite my constant asking. I asked every person I spoke to about the check up being free, not one mentioned the 21+ requirement. So that was a fun bill to get after getting laid off due to covid). So i drove home basically holding back tears and finally broke down at home. After a few days I called a local dentist with good reviews and got a second opinion. Didn't need to rip out my teeth. Just some fillings and a prescription tooth paste.
TL;DR: Fuck Aspen Dental. If you need dental work, find a local dentist with good reviews. Or a few dentists even.
FUCK ASPEN DENTAL! They are a scam.
50% of all doctors are below average
This reminds me of a silly joke I heard.
What do you call a student who graduates last in their class at medical school? You call them Doctor.
The point of that statement is for aspiring Doctors. But people ended up turning it around into an insult against doctors.
If someone is saying this to aspiring doctors, it's because they heard it and didn't understand how horrible it sounds. The point is ridicule, some people just don't get it, and we still call then doctors.
Thinking about it though, it doesn't make much sense to ridicule them. Do we ridicule the people that come last in the olympics, or would we ever think they're unfit to be a competitor?
It's not like the system is chosen randomly, those that graduate have shown that they deserve to, that's the whole point of it.
No, it’s not meant as ridicule. The point is that getting into medical school is hard. Once you’re in school you’re graded against other students who perform at a much higher level academically than in undergrad or many other professional programs. Not to mention the fact that we all need to pass (and score highly if you want to match into a competitive specialty) two 8 hour long, standardized board exams before we can graduate. This makes graduating an achievement in and of itself and this is further evidenced by the many students that drop out or fail out every year. I’m not arguing that everyone who gets into medical school should have, but the point of the phrase is to remind med students that graduating is something to be proud of regardless of their class rank or board scores.
That, and every medical school I know of requires a 70% for a pass. Below that is failure. Which means "average" grades are the minimum(and above average for entrance).
Even your below average doctor is an average(or above) student.
To take the example to the extreme - You wouldn't mock Eugene Cernan because he was the last on the list of people who have walked on the moon.
Below average compared to their peers maybe. But still way above the average general population... are there bad docs? Absolutely. But often the average patient won't even be able to recognize it because they don't have the expertise to know what's actually wrong. Just like anything else. But your comment carries a connotation.
I had a gynecologist who not only liked to chat about my 3 lb weight gain and I was going to get fat in 5 yrs, but was like a sloth giving the exam. Any woman appreciates getting that humiliating shit over with ASAP. While she was not “negligent” in care, she was just a terrible dr for me personally.
I’d say 80% off all doctors working at kaiser
Assuming a normal distribution.
The problem for me is that I don't trust my judgement to be better than theirs. It's a hard position to take that you know better than this highly educated professional about something within their expertise.
That's why you get a second (professional) opinion. This applies to anyone from doctors to plumbers to web developers.
I had a dentist that would find cavities every time I went. A lot of them were replacing fillings that she had put in. Part of me thought that she might just suck at putting in fillings, and part of me thought I just really suck at brushing. I ended up seeing another dentist because she couldn’t get me in, and I thought I had a cavity. He told me I was fine, and there were no issues.
I don’t know for sure, but if I would have gotten in at my original dentist I’m sure she would have found something to do. I am pretty sure I was just a revenue stream for her, and I haven’t had a cavity since.
I also thought it was weird I never saw other patients at her practice, but she couldn’t squeeze me in to check what I thought was a cavity.
In the end, sometimes it is worth getting another opinion based on your judgment!
I had the worst experience with my vet. I work in and have post grad qualifications in the veterinary field, but I'm not a surgeon. This woman condescended to me to the point that she was explaining how cats groom themselves, like listing every body part they lick. She criticised everything, the food I use, the litter I use, my feeding schedule, and told me that cats are "never" over 4kg when I asked if my cat was above or below at her most recent weigh (she fluctuates just over or just under, she should have just admitted she didn't weigh her at her last visit, because it's obvious that's what happened).
I actually think she might have been on the spectrum because I've never met someone so keen to lecture you with absolutely no interest in developing any rapport. I suppose I have worked for vets like that before too. I'm glad I didn't need her during an actual crisis, because she was *awful*.
Dude I met some batshit crazy vets in the short time I worked vaccine clinics. We were convinced the one chick who drove all the way from New Jersey to *Upstate New York* did coke when she ran to the bathroom because she was such a spaz. She even got into a fight with a client over something stupid and argued with people constantly.
I’d say this is relevant for any profession. You could have gone to Harvard and still be incompetent. Maybe your parents just made enough donations to buy your way in then you floated by with a 2.0 GPA.
I’ve had incompetent therapist after incompetent therapist and it has been very frustrating. And particularly for therapists I’d like to note:
Just because someone is a therapist doesn’t mean they don’t have an untreated personality disorder/mental illness/deformed thinking.
Have you had more than one therapist you suspect had a mental health disorder?
Then you may be entitled to compensation
Am dentist, I support this LPT. You have to trust the people that take care of your body. Also they have to trust you as a patient. It’s a relationship. If you’ve ever been “fired” by a professional or pushed to seek a 2nd opinion multiple times by multiple people, then it may be the case that... THEY are not the problem... (insert Kermit the frog meme)
Fellow dentist here, LOVE your username!
I always tell people every job has the same assholes.
The only exception to this rule is that if you hire me as your lawyer oh please god don’t fire me
If you hire me as your lawyer, I’d understand if you decided to fire me. It’s not personal, you probably just want someone who has at least been to law school, and who isn’t a full-time software developer.
Just to add to this, all those professionals are human and are fallible. Keep that in mind.
I'm kind of sad this is so far down. I've seen intelligent, caring, very well qualified people reduced to tears by asshole clients who are all too ready to assume their incompetence. Weird thing in veterinary in particular is that people often take their breeders word as gold (when their only qualification is putting two dogs in a room together) but shit on the opinion of someone that's studied for 9/10 years just to be where they are. It's fine, even encouraged, to seek a second opinion or another professional, but please treat them with basic human understanding.
Also, people with degrees are not necessarily true experts in their field or any other subject including life. People with average or below average grades graduate every year. I have a Masters degree in ONE thing not everything.
I have a Master's degree in one thing and I still wouldn't consider myself an expert in that subject!
Exactly! All fields of study change constantly. Not everyone keeps up with it. I certainly don't know everything about anything. Who does?
The salutatorian of my veterinary class had her license on probation within 8 months of graduation. She was great with text books and testing but it did not translate to being an excellent doctor, at least not quickly.
People who make average grades can be excellent doctors. Learning and applying life’s lessons are just as important as school lessons in becoming a successful practitioner.
Just because someone posts in LPT doesn't mean they really have the qualifications to offer a LPT, it's okay to look for a better LPT poster.
That’s why the real LPT is always in the comments.
What do you call the person that graduated last in their class in med school? Doctor
Many people fail or drop out of professional schools.
Also, keep in mind that just because you graduated medial school doesn’t mean that your are licensed to practice medicine.
Graduating from med-school is almost never sufficient to be licensed. I can't think of any country that doesn't require residencies.
I'd be surprised if a medical doctor *wasn’t* called defendant at some point.
Certainly in America. Less so elsewhere.
Doing well on tests doesn't necessarily translate to being good at something in real life.
You know advancing to the point of being medically licensed post-graduation requires extensive practicum in most jurisdictions?
Doing well on tests is not sufficient to become a doctor.
In Canada, because of residency program cuts, there aren't even enough residency positions for every graduate.
On a side note, when you're at a party with or spending casual time around these same professionals, your "*question*" that directly related to their profession is both annoying and inappropriate, especially when you aren't a paying customer of theirs.
I think I know what you're getting at but like, I'm about to take veterinary boards and I just really love talking about infectious disease and science and nerding out with curious people is my favorite.
That being said, I can't do anything for your dog from over the computer (nor do I care to), acquaintance from high school - go to YOUR vet.
My favourite are my relatives bitching at me about how they had to spend so much to have their little precious foo-foo's teeth cleaned after years of neglect, or how expensive the life-saving medication for their heart disease is, or that it cost thousands when their dumb ass dog ran out onto the road because they don't use a leash and got hit by a car.
Yes I get it, veterinary care can be expensive. You know what else is expensive? Medical supplies, staff wages, drug costs, registration fees, utility bills, rent.
Also totally with you on infectious diseases. I will happily nerd out over anything related - bacteria, virus, parasite, fungus or prion.
I'm a horse vet and get inundated with questions about dogs. I take great delight in telling them to go to a real vet...
Nurse here and can confirm. Don't fucking ask me health-related questions if I don't know you well.
And the flip side of that is telling the pain in the ass client to feel free to look for another option
I like to remind myself that doctors are more educated than I am, not necessarily more intelligent than I am.
At least one generation (if not two) of Americans now have been becoming doctors and lawyers because their parents told them it's how you "make money and succeed" here, not because they should heal the sick or defend the rights of the needy. Now I'm not saying that this mentality afflicts all of these professionals, but we can see the obvious differences in fields like healthcare and law when compared with other developed countries. The contrast is fairly plain to see.
Wait, so not all doctors believe in demon sperm??
As a lawyer, can confirm this is true for lawyers.
Overall, quite true. However, it’s good to be aware of what’s realistic if you haven’t used that type of professional before. For example, attorneys should tell you up front their cost, areas of expertise and communicate in a timely, courteous way. They should offer you info and options to choose from. They can’t control court delays, odd laws, or behavior of the other party.
I regularly fired attorneys. Here's to hoping the ones I am using now pan out
I am an attorney that acts as general counsel and I sometimes have to hire special counsel out of state for special issues. I've had the following happen:
-Attorney goes through the process of getting employed by the court, and then just ghosts me completely
-Attorney gets employed to continue prosecuting case he was already working on. He dismisses the case, has it refiled with another firm, and tells me nothing about this. He won't provide me with updates on the case until I start referencing the rules of professional conduct that he is breaking.
I'm sure I have more examples like that. I have tons of examples of incompetent opposing counsel, but it's extra shocking that an attorney would be so terrible when their client is dealing with them through another attorney.
Some of these professionals are more interested in repeat business than actually solving your problems.
I’ve had animals for 30 years. I’ve never met a veterinarian that I thought was incompetent. Now as far as the others go...
As a licensed therapist, please if your therapist isn’t working out for you, ask for a transfer or discharge and find someone who works for you.
There are doctors/lawyers/professionals out there who could have graduated with the lowest grades in the class and still be working as a doctor/lawyer/professional.
[Woman. Whoa, man.](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/d0637e01-2b5f-4d3d-a2a4-98824840c383)
No kidding. If there's anything I've learned in adulthood, it's that credentials on the wall don't mean someone is even decent human being.
This is especially true for mental health professionals.
Not only are there shitty people in the field, but different people within the same field can have wildly different approaches and perspectives.
Shop around, if the person you're seeing isn't helping you or connecting with you, find someone that does.
Great tip and very true.
But on the other side of the coin, if you go to more than one professional and they all tell you basically the same thing, you don't keep shopping for one that agrees with you. You accept that you're out of your element and let professionals work.
I've had repeated issues with my family doctor and her practice for the FOUR YEARS I've been seeing her, and I always brushed it off and made excuses, because, y'know, it's my GP. And what if a different doctor was even worse? This year, she straight up lied about me agreeing to pay for something out of pocket that my insurance wouldn't cover. I was never informed insurance wouldn't cover it. The conversation never took place. I did not consent. It's her word against mine, and she will only speak to billing and refuses to talk to me now. I figure I might as well try my luck with a new office and hope for someone better... the bar is pretty low...
Same with soldier, policeman or firefighter
I've gone through three therapists (still with my third) and I remember my first therapist very well because of how frustrated I would get. I would say what was bothering me and then basically ask me to figure out the answers myself. Half of the time it would be dead silent in the room as I tried to get my brain to work and come up with some sort of answer while he would just sit and wait. He very rarely tried to help me with those answers. That might work for some people, but for someone who was just starting college and having no idea what the heck is going on with my head and why I feel this way, it definitely wasn't helpful.
The second one was fine, I got assigned to her because I was suicidal and my bishop was able to get me a few months with her for free, which was a massive help. And she did help me a lot, got me out of a dark place that no one else could, but I realized my issues were deeper than I thought, and while I learned some valuable things from her I didn't like how a good chunk of her advice was "pray and ask for help along with these behavioral therapy steps." I grateful for the help she gave me, but it was definitely not everything I needed.
My current therapist has been AMAZING. We do share the same faith, but we only talk about it if I bring it up. I was able to figure out my crippling fear of being abandoned and learn healthy ways to handle struggling relationships, and she even helped me get out of a potentially toxic relationship (someone I had met online who gave me intense anxiety) which I struggled ending because of my need to not have people hate me.
Basically what I'm saying is the first professional you work with (in any field really) may not be the right one, and the second might be better but still not quite there but is enough for that moment. However there is a very good chance that the person who is right for you and can do the most good for you is out there and you can find them, it just might take some time.
I plan on becoming a therapist myself and I hope I can someday be that best person for the people who need it.
After numerous encounters with doctors that either don't know what they're doing or simply did not care about me as a human being I started switching doctors at the smallest red flag. I've finally found good doctors but my initial respect for the field had blinded to bad doctors. You should look at your doctor like you treat your mechanic or home contractor
Definitely do your research on your dentist. I picked one because he was close to my house. He was fine for teeth cleanings and basic things like getting a cavity filled, but I ended up losing an entire tooth because he missed (or didn't mention to me) a cavity underneath my crown.
Seriously consider doing some research before you go, even if someone you trust recommends them to you. I very recently had a terrible experience with a clinical psychologist who came recommended by a trusted therapist. When I told her about what had happened, the therapist was appalled. I wish I would have done my homework before wasting a second on that fucking quack.
Also, sometimes the best at something might be a genuine dick and you might be better off ignoring their attitude if it means getting the best service.
Just had a friend quit her therapist (fires, but somehow “quit” feels more accurate) because the therapist could not separate her personal politics and started saying that if she supported this candidate or that action group she would be better off.
Especially relevant for those who are minorities. Find doctors who are actually willing to listen to you and not write you off. One that is willing to try and understand. Doctors have biases too
As a 'highly trained professional' I agree with this. Please always feel free to seek a second opinion. Especially when you have/are dealing with something out of the ordinary. Just be sure not to brush off an opinion you don't like for one you do (confirmation bias).
Also they aren’t doing you a favor by providing you a service for money. As the consumer, if you aren’t getting the service you’re paying for, take your money somewhere else where you will.
My girlfriend works in the hospital and she says everyday that she can’t believe how dumb/incompetent so many doctors are
Yep. Just like doctors and clinics. They can have different rules and policies, so find one that has policies you agree with or find yourself fighting an uphill battle against the people who are supposed to be caring for you. You could probably go literally down the street and find a better option, so do that.
As someone in school to be a therapist, you won't believe what some people in the field or about to be in the field believe or say. A reason I want to be a therapist is because I was so suicidal I wanted to kill myself and my therapist at the time told me "I'm fine" because I "just got out of the hospital".
I never wanted anyone to feel as dismissed as I did. These careers are like anyone else's; there is always someone who got the job who you're surprised they were able to wipe their ass in the morning.
Y’all ever heard of Dr. Death (not his real name)? Absolute shit doctor and person. Maimed 30+ patients.
I learned this the hard way. The mom of my kitty scratched her eye, and she had a slight annoyance in it. I took her to the vet and she kept changing the treatment while telling me everything was okay, but nothing seemed ok, and every time i asked her if there was some specialist i could see, she would claim there weren't any. I spend A LOT of money on that vet until a new vet clinic opened up closer to my home, so i took my kitty there, the new vet girl looked at her, told me she wasn't capable of treating her (she didn't accepted any money for seeing us), and made a call to an eye specialist 20 minutes away, that agreed to see me the next day.
Sadly my kitty lost her eye (it was too late, with no proper treatment) , but she gained a capable new vet that loves her, and i gained a lifelong (hopefully) vet for my fur babies.
Very good advice. I would like to share a story from my life. A year or so ago my dentist sold his business to a franchise dentist group... he still worked there, yet they had all these new people. I went in for a check up and clean and I was with one of these new dentists. He told me that one of my back teeth was chipped and I would need to get a crown quite urgently. I didn't know what a crown was, so I asked. He told me the procedure, and that it would cost several thousand dollars.
No way was I going to get that done. I thanked him for the advice, yet stated that I would prefer that he remove the tooth that was causing this problem. Suddenly, there was no real problem. He said it wasn't that bad and I could wait. I was a little confused, so I asked him if he was sure. He said the damage wasn't terrible and I would be fine.
I was pretty shocked that it quickly went from urgent procedure required to nothing... that I could get by without the procedure.
I haven't gone back to that dentist again and I make sure I tell people in my area this story so they don't go to him too.
This is an absolute steal of a tip. Bit of a long one but still valid.
Some years ago when I was still in college. I got a call from parents ask about my exams. I inquired about our dog and they told me he had developed a hole on his butt from excessive biting. He wasn’t eating, sleeping, drink water. He’d picked a spot and just stayed there.
They had called the local vet but he gave saline and told them it was okay and my boy would be back feeling great in no time. He’d come tomorrow to check further.
My parents reassured me and told me to focus on my exams. It still sounded too good, just the tone that he set..so anyway I have my semester paper next morning but my buddy is still on my mind. So I the most obvious thing. I borrowed my guardian professor’s car keys drove to my house, got my buddy and drove back to a better vet who could do surgeries; I called the doctor and told him it was an emergency and he said okay. This was 6 in the morning. I had some money from part time I was saving up for a GPU. Cost me 560 something dollars but buddy was under good care.
He survived and lived till 2018 and died of old age.
Sorry if this comes off as rambling but I wanted to reinforce the point, OP was making.
TL;DR just because he’s a professional doesn’t mean he is competent.
I realized this after many visits accompanying my dad and family for his appointments regarding his cancer diagnosis. My dad asked the doctor what the life expectancy was, and the doctor LAUGHS and says “you probably don’t want to know”. I’ll never forget that day.
Before that, I assumed all doctors/nurses were great, but it’s definitely not true at all. Some of them were pretty neglectful and it was disappointing to say the least.
Psychotherapist here. Yes. OP is 10000% correct (in my field at least). Here’s why: we go to school to learn theory.. this means absolutely nothing if you’re f’ked up to begin with. Many schools process students and graduate them for stats. I know for a FACT I had colleagues in my class that I’m bewildered how they made it through. Going to school and specializing in a field does not equal to you being good at said field in practice. You’re just more exposed to a concentrated field of knowledge but to understand how to facilitate that information back to another person is a whole other set of skills.
It’s allllll about the right fit. Therapists aren’t any different from the regular joe, we just may have some more background understanding about themes and coping strategies but technically you as the client have all the answer to your struggles... we are just there to soundboard, offer psycho education and together think of next steps. We don’t solve problems, we don’t offer advice ... we just figure out themes and patterns and hope to facilitate change.
When I meet new people I hide what I do Because people get weird .. they ask “what am I thinking right now... or ask “are you psychoanalyzing me” and I always respond by saying that I’m not a psychic or I’d be a millionaire. All I know is what you tell me .. when you’re my client. As new friends or new introductions I literally don’t give a fuk because I don’t want to be working!! Therapy isn’t passive for us... when a client is speaking we’re doing mental gymnastics to figure out how to be purposeful and helpful. I’m rambling now but all I’m saying is that if the first session sucks ... MOVE on. If you feel they’re terrible it’s probably because they are! Or maybe not the right fit for you OR you’re not the right fit for them.
Therapists are truly nothing special .. just another job that has a specialized understanding but because of the nature of things there is a
power difference that is the therapists job to help minimize the gap.
In addition to this, please for the love of god, don't accuse your veterinarian of "only being it in for the money". Those poor people go through hell to get accepted into and graduate from veterinary school, amass upwards of $200k in debt, and get paid less than a good plumber. All because they have care and compassion for animals. Medical care is expensive. Even for pets.
I would add to this, (and please dont misunderstand I trust doctors and their expertise) that to a reasonable extent doctors know how the body works and a lot more than you do about medicine, but they dont know your symptoms as well as you implicitly do.
My experience was in the end of HS (18 years old) through sophomore year in college (20 years old) with a shoulder injury from playing 1 season of lacrosse that was causing chronic pain in my neck and shoulder, as well as shooting/numbing pain whenever I collided with someone on that side of my body. I played soccer competitively and at the time planned to in college, so this happened a lot and it significantly impacted my level of olay
I went to an orthopedist and it was diagnosed as muscle trauma and went through ~2 years of physical therapy which helped with the mild atrophy in my shoulder and upper back, as well as range of motion in my neck which had both been significantly reduced because of the pain. However, it never did anything for the pain. I brought it up once or twice with the PT and Orthopedist but felt that they still knew better than I did and kept with therapy through freshman year of college.
Eventually I went to the trainer for my college's basketball team and he recommended a PT local to my college and I explained everything that hadnt worked so we tried a few different styles of treatment (like electro-stimulus accupuncture) as well as going back and getting several more scans like a CT and Bone scan and what it ended up being was a pinched nerve in my upper spine due to a benign growth that they guess had been there since birth and was ever so slightly shifted playing lacrosse.
I had one 30 min outpatient, local anesthesia procedure and I immediately had absolutely no pain, but i had gone through 2 years of fairly consistent chronic neck and shoulder pain all because i assumed the doctors/orthopedists knew better than me. The fact is they did but they still only know however much or however accurately you describe what's going on in your body, so if you intuitively think something may be different than what they're saying, have the confidence to offer a different explanation.
Again, trust doctors and specialists they do know what they're doing and they do know more than you, but treating you is an equation and a function that cannot work without you and your contribution is important.
As a physically middle aged adult I still get nervous dealing with other professionals and it’s not lost on me that the people I hung out with and committed crimes with as a youth are now all professionals.
I know a guy that was addicted to cocaine and “the modern primitive” idealology back in the 90s. For Halloween one year he sewed his eyes, ears and lips closed via hundreds of actual piercings so he could go as “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. He literally took a hollow needle and sewed his own eye-lids, ears and lips shut. LITERALLY. I WAS THERE WHEN HE DID IT. He is currently one of Baltimore’s most respected detectives.
Another “friend” had a preference for seriously underage girls and would hang around my highschool well into his late 20s handing out cigarettes and lsd tabs to the cute girls. He also offered rides wherever. He’s now a local defense lawyer. Married with daughters. Who are around the same age as the girls he lured into vulnerable situations back in the day.
Another one was a violent satanist. Works at Johns Hopkins as security now.
I can legit keep going.
My point is we are all only human. Sometimes we learn from our mistakes. Sometimes we become our mistakes. Sometimes we have a stroke of genius that helps someone else. Sometimes we make a situation worse.
Judge not. But totally judge because if you don’t? You risk your personal well being. Also I’ve learned through experience to never trust an old “friend” when it comes to things like health, the legal system or annoying cosmetic or medical issues.
Something happens in their mind. Like if they mess up it will be ok because you guys know eachother and surely you’ll understand.
Always look into the professional you intend to hire and avoid hiring friends. I hate to say it because clearly we all want to support those we love. But it’s a super bad idea. Especially when something goes wrong.
80% of the time people who make up statistics are 7% right and 100% wrong, but have a 30% chance of being right 2% of the time. Mostly because they don’t know how statistics work 12 times out of 4.
Statistically speaking. I mean sarcastically speaking.
But my personal experience is enough to make up statistics that are 100% true 100% of the time for 100% of the population of the world!!!!! /s
Chuck McGill wrote this about Jimmy
Also be careful about grouping the term therapist.
Know who you are seeing. It could range from seeing someone with a doctorate (psychologists and psychiatrists) down to masters and bachelors level.
A professional is someone who gets paid to do their job, it doesn't mean they are good at it.
Some kindergarten teachers are fucking assholes to their students and I hate them for it.
There seems to be no correlation between intelligence and moral standards