T O P
jingledingo

When I used to work at this calzone shop I got all sorts of weird requests from drunk college kids. Once I got an online order for a calzone with just ranch in it. Nothing else. The create your own on in the online orders system did not automatically come with cheese. It wasn't that odd to get an order for no cheese. But this was odd. I even called the guy to make sure. Nope, it wasn't a mistake. He really wanted just ranch inside the calzone. Pizza dough and warm ranch soup in the middle. I was so disgusted making that order I still cringe thinking about it years later lol


HirosProtagonist

Jesus.... I've seen people drink ranch from a bowl. I've had tickets tell me to add ranch to fry oil. I've had ranch all up in the nether regions because of dropped containers. I've never had this request. Thank you for the nightmares


enderflight

This ranch abuse makes me sad. It really hits different on some fresh chicken tenders and fries, and is very versatile, so why do people go to great lengths to do ungodly things with it when there’s perfectly good combos right there in front of them?


TheVetheron

Ranch has its place, and it is very tasty when used in moderation. It should not be used in huge amounts on everything. I've seen ranch flavored soda for god's sake. This shit needs to stop.


reggie_rocket

Legalize ranch!


11959

Sup mellow mike!


Talia_al_Grrl

Bird up!


TheVetheron

When I would work the salad station at a pizza place we often had orders for extra extra extra ranch. I was sending out bowls of ranch soup with some lettuce and tomatoes floating in it. A couple times it got sent back for not having enough ranch dressing.


mini_cooper_JCW

When I was in the Boy Scouts, I had a friend that LOVED brownies and chocolate chip cookies dipped in ranch. I haven't thought about that in years.


OG_wanKENOBI

Ahh I see you have also worked at a kitchen in the Midwest, dropping a ranch bucket is a right of passage lol.


golf-lip

Ever get a call for a "pizzone"? My friend and I were stoned as shit and couldn't think of the word "Calzone" so we called asking for a "pizzone". The guy on the other end was not having it though. "Can we get...uh...I think it's called a Pizzone?" "a pizzone?" "yeah...like a sandwich..but a pizza... a folded baked pizza...you know...a pizzone?' "We don't have pizzones *CLICK*"


PrimarchKonradCurze

I think that’s what the Pizza Hut version was called. It was terrible.


flustercuck91

Oh, god, a Pizza Hut “p’zone” and a bottle of rum in a cheap motel….my puke was more grease than anything else.


swift1883

Hey Hoo, Hey Hoo, a cheap motel and a bottle of rum I was reading your post as a Irish drinking song.


TwoFray

That has to be the on of the most unappetizing things I’ve read on this subreddit yet, no joke.


GuardianOfFreyja

I started reading like "Okay, how can you fuck up a calzone? They are the perfect customizable food because anything works with them." I was wrong.


skatie082

I hate myself for laughing so hard on this dude, but wow…warm ranch soup inside of dough. Maybe to make you feel better, I knew a guy that would take a stick of butter and a bowl of sugar, and lik-a-stik. The plight of our people have not changed, only evolved.


iaris78

I've never had anything activate my fight or flight response before, but by god the words "warm ranch soup" did it


FeelTheLoveNow

DP Dough?


well_clearly

You’re a real one for calling and asking


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tastefuldebauchery

God damn it Wade


Intelligent_Radish15

Actually sounds good if plated better. Not gonna lie. I would never custom order this. But with a juicy prime rib? It would be kinda like a French dip without the bread. Would be something I could experiment with at home. Definitely not restaurant material.


Clayith13

I like prime rib. I like provolone. I have to assume I would like prime rib with provolone.


Senor_Martillo

“Yeah gimme a foot long steak, provolone wit”


CKtheFourth

Prime rib provy wit is probably delicious.


GuardianOfFreyja

I'm from Atlanta. The local food truck bar had a truck selling cheesesteaks. I ordered one, asked for provolone wit, and she said "You must be from Philly." I've never been more insulted in my life.


Lonelan

"Do I look like I'm from a place that can beat Tom Brady in the Superbowl? C'mon"


GuardianOfFreyja

>"Do I look like I'm from a place that can beat Tom Brady ~~in the Superbowl~~? C'mon" You're not wrong, but it's worse than you know.


50ShadesOfFuckThis

Yo fuck you. Come to philly. I'll fight you. Pussy.


ThroatMeYeBastards

Never change Philly!


gzilla57

You piece of shit one bridge having city.


mikelieman

People go on and on and on about wiz, but prov. wit is what the gods eat.


CKtheFourth

Insulted? She probably meant it as a compliment.


topsecretusername12

Right maybe if the cheese were actually melted


AwwwMangos

Give it a quick pass under the salamander, just enough to bubble the cheese but not long enough to cook the meat any further. A risky gambit but worth it.


Intelligent_Radish15

I think undercook the meat then put the prov to almost burnt and I’d be in heaven.


mrstabbeypants

Torch. That way you won't mark the meat.


TwoFray

Yeah, we definitely made an effort afterwards to make it appear more appetizing, this was just when it first came out


UncookedMarsupial

Honestly, some horseradish, provolone, and some time in the broiler sounds great.


Intelligent_Radish15

Thank you for the horsey addition!!! I’m about to go in on some foods.


Liarxagerate

Yeah. stick that shit under the salamander and I'm eating the hell out of it.


Lonelan

chopped up prime rib with philly steak cheez wiz scooped on not enough to like, drown it, but so you get cheesiness in every bite


fleshsnort18

Dude then bread is like the main part


Intelligent_Radish15

I agree. Just saying this doesn’t sound bad.


Temporary-Good9696

We had a customer that would always request our house made apple sauce on his steak. It was super sweet and flavored with anise. We thought that maybe someone had discovered an amazing new combination of flavors (narrator: they had not).


SmokePenisEveryday

I once as a kid in a fit of kid brain decided to put Cool Whip on my steak. Parents just sat and watched me do it. Didn't bother stopping me and I can't say blame em. I still have that combo stuck in my head to this day.


cellists_wet_dream

Sometimes kids need to be allowed to do dumbass things. One Easter when I was 8, I put strawberry jello and cool whip on a slice of ham and ate it like a burrito. Everyone looked in in horror but nobody stopped me. I’m glad because it was *fucking delicious*.


BBQ_Beanz

Part of the "child palette" is only wanting sweet and salty and not wanting any acid, bitter, or strong aromatics. Jello and ham fit the bill, and it doesn't matter if the flavors "don't balance". Kids basically just need sugar, salt, and heavy marketing.


DietDrDoomsdayPreppr

>and heavy marketing. Lmfao


PreferredSelection

Child-me wanted all the acid. Loved sour candy, lime-ade, would even eat lemons and limes until my dentist told me to knock it off. I do agree in general though.


intergalacticcoyote

Salt n vinegar chips by the bag, lemons like other people eat oranges, entire bags of warheads….hell I have straight citric acid in my home pantry right now.


PreferredSelection

IMO everyone should have citric acid in their pantry. Should be as common as vinegar. You can use it for making salad dressings, cocktails and soft drinks, to brighten sauces. If you're into canning and preserving, it helps prevent botulism from forming. Sometimes I'll make egg bites and take them into work. A little citric acid keeps them fresher in the fridge. To top it off, you can clean and disinfect with it. Extremely handy to have.


BBQ_Beanz

Yeah lol I was the same. But then, we end up here. Normal kids work the other way.


FreakingSpy

When I was about 5 years old, I used to eat raw onions like they were apples. ...I still love onions, but maybe not that much


pauly13771377

>Sometimes kids need to be allowed to do dumbass things. That's what my father said to my mom right before I stuck a knife in the wall socket. He called it a "learning experience." To this day I still don't know what he learned


Sugar-n-Sawdust

It’s important for kids to get the stupid out of their system early so they’re not carrying that onto adulthood


Jigsaw2799

Me when I was five:I was told that I could put whatever I wanted on plain oatmeal which is exactly the wrong thing to tell a kid so I mixed Grape Jam and Mayo into my Oatmeal. It. It wasn't very good I'll tell you that much


therempel

I used to make milkshakes as a kid by mixing milk and oj. It tasted great to me!


DietDrDoomsdayPreppr

A poor man's Orange Julius.


ChefBoyD

Mmmmm creamsicles.


A_OBCD8663

Milk and orange soda was one of my favorites as a kid.


sabre4570

Thanks. You've ruined my night.


karenmcgrane

One time I was in Prague and the guy I was with took me to a restaurant where the specialty was beef in cream sauce. It was slices of beef with canned Reddi-wip. I ate it


Lilly-of-the-Lake

I'm Czech and I can confirm that [beef in cream sauce](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sv%C3%AD%C4%8Dkov%C3%A1) is a normal and popular thing. With cranberries and sometimes even a bit of unsweetened whipped cream on the side. That said, touristy restaurants are notorious for not using quality products.


ShitBot404

This is so close to milk steak with jellybeans


spiralout1123

Apple sauce on pork chops with maybe some spaetzal is delicious (I know I’m murdering that word, fuck it)


Hi_AJ

Spätzle :)


spiralout1123

Good man


ShitBot404

Anise and Cumin are overpowering to me. I can barely tolerate Fennel and Chervil bc that anise taste gets me. In high school a guy I knew tried to drink an entire bottle of Sambuca and puked it up on a bus.


LonelyGuyTheme

In America, I live in an Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi/Tibetan neighborhood. Walking thru the business district, the cumin and spices wafting from the restaurants and halal food carts. I love it!


RebelWithoutAClue

I think you have made different memory associations to the aroma of anise than ShitBot404 has.


ChrdeMcDnnis

Did somebody say Milk Steak?


SPP_TheChoiceForMe

She’ll know what it means


YourAverageGod

Fullonrapist


xlxnomadxlx

User name checks out


xlxnomadxlx

I prefer my milk steak boiled medium vs over hard. Only the finest jelly beans, raw.


Chimneyfishh

Rum ham!


Clean-Profile-6153

Nah uh..


GeneralSalty1

A regular at my place asks for a slice of that processed american "cheese" put on a slice of our apple pie and then microwaved for 30 seconds, I'm not brave enough to try it


Senor_Martillo

Cheese and apple pie is a magnificent combination….but it’s usually a sharp cheddar, not American


thelingeringlead

That's a VERY normal thing. Especially in Wisconsin and Vermont. A slice of Cheddar is pretty normal, but some people just use a slice of processed cheese.


Johnnybravo3817

A slice of pie without cheese is like a kiss without a squeeze.


splatter72

It’s sounds really weird but tastes okay. We had a slice in Colorado. The top crust was savory buttery flaky crust with Wisconsin Creamy Cheddar cheese.


GeneralSalty1

No he wanted it just slapped on top of the filling area and then microwaved, if I have the picture still I’ll post it


Lavanger

OMG this should be NSFW, Do not google pictures of this, it looks so disgusting.


fallingcave

You mean Kings din din


SaveFerrisSaveFerris

When I was a kid I used to eat apple sauce with my steak!


titsinmyinbox

It's a pretty normal thing in many parts of europe


BananaPeelSlippers

Apple sauce with the Perry’s pork chop is really good actually


Temporary-Good9696

Yeah, pork works very well with sweetness.


Tyaedalis

Idk that sounds pretty good to me.


Altruistic_Way_9397

Actually I've found it to be great as a camping dinner. We eat a lot of grilled steak and need sides for the boys. One night was chunky applesauce and some baked beans. The meat always has a nice smokey mess to it. I also crave corn or cranberry sauce too


SalineProblems

My brother used to dunk tuna salad sandwiches in orange juice, i by used to I mean he still does, and he is 40.


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0ooO0o0o0oOo0oo00o

Many many years ago, I worked at a TGI Fridays in Texas. We had a regular that would come in (older lady that wore a mink stole, cat eye rimmed glasses, and a kind of creepy smile) and always requested steak tartare. She would always call ahead and reserve the same table. Steak tartare (obviously not on the TGIF menu), garden salad, and a small bowl of “balsamic” vinegar. She would take a nibble of the tartare and *sip* the vinegar from a spoon. People can truly be surprising with their eccentricities.


otterfish

Sounds like she was working hard at it.


Systems-an-Sastems

Where do you guys source your lion?


ArtistofViolence

Asking the real questions here 😤🦁


Temporary-Good9696

A taco restaurant where I used to live made "lion tacos" some years back. Caused a bit of controversy. [sauce](https://tucson.com/business/local/under-threats-tucson-restaurant-calls-off-african-lion-taco-special/article_5931374a-282b-11e0-93a2-001cc4c002e0.html)


splatter72

How did all of that mixed together taste like? Sounds like a train wreck, but my wife might try it. She has tried all of those things separate but doesn’t want Rocky Mountain oysters.


Temporary-Good9696

They weren't mixed, afaik, but it was this weekly thing where they cooked some exotic sounding meat for a taco special. The lion one was not well received.


Clean-Profile-6153

That's neat.. I'd travel from KCMO to eat some lion.


MJpeacok

The costumers know they prefer lion and the costumer is always right. The show must go on


Snoo_17284

What was it like working on a ship in general? Interesting gig!


Ramiel01

I love this, I'm guessing the order went something like this Customer: "I have a hankering for some befsztyk tatarski, could the chef make it for me please?" Wait: "wat?" C: "loin, uncooked, diced. The chef will know"


contafuser

I can’t believe no one who has responded to this brought up the raw steak. Sir you met a vampire that day and it sounds like she marked you for later


pumpthunder

G’day Outbacker! Have a Bonzer day!


M_J_E

Glad I’m not the only one that always recognizes anything Outback. And I’ve been out of there for 10 years…


pumpthunder

I’ve worked at 4 Outbacks in two states spanning 12 years started as a busboy ended up killing myself


ThroatMeYeBastards

I gotta say, I don't think it worked


N546RV

Damn, I've been out so long I didn't recognize it off the bat. But now I see the bagged veggies and rice and yup, I'm on board. The plates threw me, back in my day® we still had the big hefty fuckers. Back before they toned the ZOMG AUSSIE shit way down. Back when the servers still wore brightly colored shirts with a gazillion pins and shit.


ChefBoyRD-92

Once an Outbacker, always an Outbacker.


howmanychickens

Bonza*


InadmissibleHug

Quite.


mrmayer8665

No worries


RottenWaters

It was the cheese for me, the number of times I’ve burned myself on that damn French Onion.


Beginning_Ad2770

Hate it for ya but there’s no way that’s what they wanted. Best case scenario they expected it melted.


TwoFray

We threw it in the salamander for a little while, we had just put in on. I thought it made for a funny picture though.


Clean-Profile-6153

Any horsey or anything else..?


TwoFray

Yeah that’s the plate you see on the side, didn’t want to throw the au jus and creamy horseradish in there with it so that’s why it’s on a separate plate in the picture.


Clean-Profile-6153

Oh ok, I see you! Cheers.


charliedontplaydat

This answered my biggest question, thank you!


poodlebutt76

Exactly. Has no one here had a Philly cheese steak?? Or blue cheese sauce on a steak? You can put cheese on steaks. Putting a fucking deli slice on it...I'm going to have to say that's the problem here.


gasmask_gang

I like my steaks sloppy in a plate of water


gasmask_gang

They'd say no sloppy steaks! But they can't stop you from ordering a steak and a glass of water! Yeah, I used to be a real piece of shit.


Anarcho_Absurdist

What else are we seeing on that tray?


TwoFray

A plate with au jus, creamy horseradish, and asparagus. A five ounce sirloin with fries, and a New York strip with rice and mixed veggies. I work at a quick dining steakhouse, so most of our food is prepared by chef Mike.


pineapplegrenade923

Is this steakhouse the opposite of In Front?


Anarcho_Absurdist

That explains the plastic.


andrew687

But what did the gaffer, best boy, grip, and choreographer order? Sorry, I’ll see myself out. Exit! Stage right, even!


rkaniminew

Provolone's not the *worst* choice. What cheese pairs well with Prime Rib? I imagine the best to least would range from Gruyere down to Slice of Kraft.


TwoFray

My first instinct was Gruyere as well, but I was also thinking that a nice smoked Gouda would go well with it on a sandwich


Culinarytracker

Well a good blue cheese or something like a cambozola is a pretty good option. I also used to do a fantastic "Beef and Brie" sandwich with yesterday's prime rib. Sliced thin and piled up with some deeply caramelized onions and a couple slabs of brie cheese. Flash that under the broiler then slap it on a bun with some horseradish mayo or whatever.


LeibnizThrowaway

Costumer: "They'll never recognize me under this slice of cheese!"


finalgranny420

Why are there what look like used gloves on the food?


TwoFray

Plastic bags for heating up pre-prepared food. Doesn’t look the best in the kitchen but we do our best to make it look at least a little better before bringing it out.


pnw-transplant

After being on Keto since the new year this actually looks great if melted


ZeyPlay

“Costumer” lol


aequitssaint

I prefer my steaks in milk.


TwoFray

Boiled over hard? Side of jelly beans?


aequitssaint

It's the only way


JannaSnakehole

Am I the only one that doesn’t get this?


pineapplegrenade923

It's from the show "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" Season 5, episode 5.


JannaSnakehole

Thank you!


pineapplegrenade923

You're welcome!


Supremefudgey

Are all the sides microwaved in baggies? Are the steaks prepared fresh? Honestly if you’re nuking half the shit the provolones not that insulting


ericsonofbruce

Kinda strange but not that weird. Provolone is my go to for most sandwiches, including steak and cheese.


desrevermi

I could see a couple melted slices on prime rib to be interesting. Au jus and horseradish, please. And a twice baked potato. ;)


QuentinTarancheetoh

You couldn’t shred it and take a blowtorch to it? Would be tasty if well executed.


jimhassomehobbies

Sometimes after I cook a steak I will put Brie in the pan afterwards to melt it down in the steak juices and then pour it over the steak. This is basically the same, yeah?


HouseOfDorne

I mean, essentially it’s a Philly cheese steak but w/o the bun and onions. If I was the chef, I would have at least put three slices to cover the steak and then put it under the broiler to melt and brown the cheese. Honestly just looks like an lazy attempt to accommodate a customer. Slap a cold pc of provolone and call it good? At least give it some presentation. That’s a 10 cent slice of cheese on a 26 dollar cut of meat.


HarleyArchibaldLeon

Did you melt that tho?


ceboja

Maybe they miss Argentina and wanted to eat a Provoleta


angrynewyorkman

Not mad. Put the jus on too


bsaires

Someone got their memories of provoleta at asados in Argentina all mixed up.


TheRabadoo

Really dressed it up for the costumer


fishguyikijime

You could have at least melted it for him and made it nice..?


Space_Gypsy_79

This actually doesn’t sound bad if you put it under the broiler and melt it.


Ridley_the_last

Better than cheddar cheese on fried mahi. Just why?


makumuka

Look for "carne de sol no queijo coalho", it's brazilian jerky beef with cheese. It'd very tasty


OliverHazzzardPerry

...on rye? They had to think they were ordering a sandwich.


TwoFray

We also have a prime rib sandwich on the menu, so they definitely had to specify this lol. We made it look much better before presenting it though.


3Effie412

To each his own...


PunnyBaker

Shingle that on and hit it with a broiler and I could dig it. Still beats the American cheese on a tomahawk guy


your_star_arr

Yessir I’d please like some cheesy beef.


Skarmotastic

Hey, finally a store that does the garlic butter right instead of getting lazy and using a scoop on the line.


jistresdidit

Hill Billy CheeseSteak


OnlyHomies_com

That might possibly be worse then the tomahawk with American cheese lol


BuckRowdy

Worked in a sports bar once and someone wanted their Reuben smothered with a scoop of chili.


wesleypipes8525

Looks like an Outback


ChefJiB

Melt that shit and make it the best you can!


PhysicalCommercial5

at least throw it in the microwave to melt it, you heathen!


TurdFergusen25

Melt it a bit and I’m down to try it


coopersthepoopers

I mean… they probably wanted it melted. Just a thought?


ChefInF

Melt it, dude. And put a couple slices.


--CHOPPER--

Could have atleast tried to make it look halfway presentable instead of just slapping a cold round of cheese on there.


bankysluh

Microwaved rice and veggies in plastic bags. Yay soft plastics in food.


Jarosticy

man i miss getting prime half off working at outback lmao


Chakote

The contrast between the red meat and the solid, room temperature cheese.... it hurts.


fergusonwallace

Not melted?


ivorystrawberry

you couldn't bother to melt it?


M1ndS0uP

I'm not gonna judge that too harshly, at least it's not A1 or ketchup


CathedralEngine

Maybe going for that cheesesteak flavor profile?


ew435890

“Your finest cheese steak please”


SaltMineSpelunker

Provalonerib


ExclaimedArt

Dumb customer requests should be it's own sub.


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ExclaimedArt

You are not wrong.


SolitaireOG

goddamit I hate people


bradyreid

Funny because we make our French dips with leftover prime rib, provolone, etc


DeadHeadLibertarian

They probably wanted it shredded and baked on... Unless this is literally how they wanted it.


edrat

Maybe a little butter? Who ordered that, Krusty himself?


Ds3titus

Imagine Ordering this at a restaurant then Gordon Ramsay comes out of the kitchen and personally curses you out for even putting this shit together


ILOVEMCU

O_o