T O P

My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex

My uncle has 2 Dobermans called Rolex and Timex

Bubbaganewsh

After I read this the punchline I had in my head was "He calls them all the time"


IDoesntFuckAround

That's good too


StannisBaratheon6969

Don’t tick those dogs off. Things could get out of hand. Those dogs band together.


seavisionburma

Agreed. Ticks on a dog are never a good idea. Especially not on the face. They really tend to clasp on. Really winds them up. (BTW love the watch puns)


butiorderedpizza

One of them is a minute-ture Doberman. I don’t know about the second one.


htepO

It's never a good idea to get Dobermans all wound up.


Capaz04

It really grinds their gears


CrabbyBlueberry

What has 4 legs and ticks?


DekwaDoes

A siamese suicide bomber...


CrabbyBlueberry

Dude, that is fucking *dark*. I love it.


DekwaDoes

Thanks, I guess...? I admit I chuckled as I wrote it..


ipoooppancakes

A fucking table clock


rantaholic

They take a tickin’ and keep on lickin’.


Drinky_Tiki

Thank you


yIdontunderstand

Don't call the third one Casio if you like your garden... Cos he'll Dig it all...


rmartin00

Rolex won first in show at Westminster. We rescued Timex from John Cameron Swayze. He's been in the washer, run over by a swamp buggy and outboard motor.


Waitsfornoone

These jokes are starting top tick me off!


Devilmaestro420

That's how he fucked time Or maybe that's how dark on Netflix was created


DisconnectedAG

I hate that I chuckled at this one.


yomommafool

It’s joke like these, that really tick me off.


uvero

This joke is like my belt with a watch on it: at first it seemed like a good idea but turned out to be a huge waste of time.


supertaquito

I can take a guess on which one has a pedigree vs the one that was adopted.


pipthemouse

They will bite your ass in a second


Rossum81

Under the new rules, this joke wouldn’t be allowed, but we can use a grandfather clause.


Scubalefty

My dogs are Calvin and Klein. They're boxers.


Turbulent_Fan_2147

Where is this? I wanna try it.


myearwood

Rolex never licks his ball. Timex takes a licking and keeps on ticking.


hakoiiiiin

I hate this fucking subreddit


Triumph-TBird

One gets himself all riled up. He’s a self winder.


shocky32

Timex has an inferiority complex


nemo69_1999

Rolex cost 1000 times more than Timex.


Ddc203

Timex rolled 1000 times more than Rolex. (Edit: So STUPID)


nemo69_1999

Seriously? That doesn't even make sense.


ZubieZub

I thought it was going to be a Rolodex joke. I now feel old.


Illustrious_Juice_15

This needs to be on r/dadjokes


ForeverLurking89

lol no joke, my first dog's name was Rolex... my sis's first dog (they were sisters) was Seiko. Good puppers, the both of them \^\_\^


hotlavatube

When they bite someone he can say they’re victims of bad timing.


buckeyes5150

Do they keep watch?


LSsection55

My uncle has a durex


Buddy2269

It's a shame your dad didn't.


CrazyBaron

He had Trojan instead


guessdragon

One has ticks, the other never does.


Woodrow1701

Actually LOL’d to this one. Thanks!


MySideGoodUrSideBad

R/dadjokes never get old


BaulsJ0hns0n86

Both dogs are cleaned regularly, but despite how frequently Timex self grooms, it is still pestered by parasitic insects in the warmer months. It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.


Diligent-Guidance-32

We once had 2 Rottweilers named Ticka & Tock. For real!


gundamfighter1

Idk, but for some reason, I kept thinking "time is running out"


Blutarg

Booooo-urns!


prassuresh

Reminds me of the scene in planes trains and automobiles where they get a room at the hotel.


corrosiveicon1952

Both watch dogs !


Ddc203

The sun even shines on a dogs ass twice a day


moonpie269

This sub is really strange, sometimes newer jokes are called out for being reposts and sometimes fossilized jokes like these gets lots of upvotes.