By - dagworthy
The clinic will grade the embryos before genetic testing. I suggest you transfer the highest grade euploid - they’ll be able to tell you which that is
Definitely the plan!
This assumes you have multiple embryos of equal grade of different genders to transfer.
Personally I’m in the camp of - let the dr pick the best one. I’d like to avoid miscarriages or at least reduce them.
And also I don’t want to get attached so we don’t plan to find out.
Maybe if we are lucky to end up w enough for two kids I’ll pick gender for baby 2
Pretty much my thoughts exactly. Give me the healthy one!
IVF has so little guarantee ... which isn’t super clear just how little when you’re starting out... that picking gender is like a pipe dream for most people
Definitely - we're just hoping things go smoothly but given the fact that we already have to do IVF and I have cursed ovaries reminds me not to get ahead of myself.
I'm thinking the exact same thing... Reassess for #2 if we should be so lucky!
We waited until 11 weeks to find out. We didn’t want to get too attached by knowing before transfer, in case it didn’t work. Then we waited till about when you could find out with NIPT to make it feel more “normal” in an otherwise pretty clinical process
But I totally get people wanting to know too!
This is the way.
Interesting! (and helpful) because this will be our first try!
We did exactly that. Transferred the one with the highest chance of success and learned sex at 11 weeks via NIPT.
We actually didn’t do NIPT (did sequential screen), but we had our clinic tell us at 11 weeks 💗
Hey I'm just curious! Did you do any of the genetic testing like the NIPT just in case? I don't know if it's something I should ask my RE about.
I did sequential screening, which is the NT scan and blood work for neural tube defects. It’s less sensitive for trisomies than NIPT, but NIPT doesn’t catch neural tube defects. If something had looked wrong for trisomies with sequential screening, I would have then done NIPT or an amnio
Thank you! That's super helpful. I'll ask about it!
You should definitely opt for NIPT.
Thank you! I figured so since stuff can still change as the embryo continues to grow, but I wasn't sure if this was a normal worry ? Lol
You might want to opt for something that looks for neural tube defects then. Those develop in utero. NIPT does not find things that develop as the baby grows. If it finds something, it’s only because the biopsy missed it. It’s the same thing essentially as PGT-A testing. (It looks for just a few chromosome issues while PGT-A looks to ensure all 46 are there normally.)
Mine gets the results and you can choose to hide the genders if you don't want to know. I opted to choose because I'm not into the whole gender reveal party thing lol.
Oh me either! Haha - I might hold one though and burst a neon green ballon and tell everyone it's an alien. Definitely more my style.
Omg I want to do this so bad! I’m 7 weeks and I call it an alien all the time 🤣🤣 my family has asked if I’m doing a gender reveal and it’s SO not my thing so I might steal this!!
I ABSOLUTELY encourage you to do this. Send pics 👽😂👽
I love this so much.
Omg that just reminded me of [this pregnancy photoshoot](https://petapixel.com/2018/10/11/this-alien-themed-maternity-shoot-is-the-stuff-of-nightmares/)
(Warning for those with, ah, more delicate sensibilities: it’s Ridley Scott’s *Alien* inspired… but also weirdly wholesome 😂)
BAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my god these are my kind of people.
We had two euploid embryos of the same grade, but different genders. We wanted it to be a surprise, so they just went in numerical order. I will be 11 weeks tomorrow and still haven’t looked at the report lol, the suspense is starting to get to me!
Oh ETA: I did ask the doctor if they were all the same gender and he said no. If they were all the same, I think we would have opted to find out right then.
Now THAT'S self control!!! (and congrats!!)
Thank you! 💕
Ours allows that too! My husband and I decided to let them pick the best quality embryo for our first FET, regardless of gender. Turns out all three of ours are girls anyway, so it doesn’t really matter for us. 😂
That’s a good point! Maybe I’ll ask the ratio later!!
Everything feels so planned out with IVF. We’re not finding out the sex because we want some kind of surprise, something not planned.
This exactly. We wanted some element of surprise and what is a very methodical and planned process.
It worked even more in our favor, as after testing, we had only one euploid embryo anyway.
That’s a very good call. Hadn’t thought about that!
After three retrievals we ended up with 3 genetically normal embryos, one per retrieval. We requested not to know the sex of any of them and had them implant the best graded one when we did our FET. Currently 31 weeks and we still don’t know. We’re leaving it as a surprise until birth.
Congrats! And wow the will power!!!
Thanks. I’m very type A and never would have thought I’d be the wait and see but honestly this process took so much joy and normalcy from the process for me that I just had to have some part be a surprise. So that’s what I went with.
We did PGT-A testing but we asked them to block out the gender on the genetic report they gave us. We chose not to know ahead of time. I dunno I think I just had too much anxiety in knowing. I felt like if something happened it would be even harder for me if I knew the gender. We ended up decided to find out towards the end of the 1st trimester.
Good call. Have to temper the emotions anyway possible.
We chose the embryos before we found out the gender, just to remove any potential bias. The doctor has to request gender from the testing company, so what we did was get advice on which were best, lined them up in transfer order, then found out gender just to be curious.
Interesting!! So many different ways to do this!!
Had the exact same situation (down to each of our feelings on it and all). We did not choose (they just selected the best one) but had them put it in an envelope to open later. Our plan is to probably choose for the next pregnancy so we can have 1 of each but things may change!
Ours were very boy heavy so if we want a girl the odds are against us unless we choose!
Interesting! It’ll be so fascinating to find out the gender ratio when we’re through this
The clinic redacted the sexes for me by printing, sharpie-ing and scanning…which I totally was able to see though. I had one Xx and one Xy. They chose the best one to transfer (which didn’t work) and I’m in the tww for with the second one.
But to your question, we didn’t want to know because I didn’t want to get attached, and something seems weird about sex selection. Makes it seem like you have expectations about their identity.
Wow… sharpie. That’s something 🙄. Sending good vibes for your TWW!!
We chose to know the gender. We’d said assuming they were similar grades, we’d have them transfer the highest grade of whichever gender we had more of first. Turns out that was our highest graded embryo overall.
They makes sense!
I didn't get genetic testing, am 4 wks pregnant and I don't wanna know the sex until they're born. Another friend who also waited said "there r very few surprises in life anymore". I never 4got that and agree!
This is so true! There’s no app to find out your baby’s gender yet 😂
My husband and I have 3 euploid embryos. We have no idea what sex they are. I’m currently 12w5d with our first FET. We aren’t going to find out the sex until birth. It feels so exciting for us to have that surprise! 😊
So we had 10 embryos tested. 6 were male, 3 were female, and 1 was mosaic. We chose to transfer a male because I knew it might take a few tries before we found a protocol that worked for my body and I didn't want to run out of one gender. So we decided before we knew the genders that we'd transfer whichever we had more of if there wasn't a close balance. If the numbers had been 6 female and 3 male, we'd have transferred a female.
I wanted to know, because I can’t stand surprises. We ended up with 2 girl embryos so we didn’t have a choice. If we had one of each we would of had them surprise us.
I haven't even gone through IVF yet, but I am pretty sure we are on our way there, because both my tubes seem blocked. It's just a question for me when I get to it, because I may need to have a lap for endo first. If by any chance we have more embryos of the same grade and different gender and we could choose, I would choose the male one, just because I have endo and I would prefer not passing it on.
That's a really good point... I have PCOS and endo too. It sucks!!!
We knew the genders of all our embryos but had them pick the best. We found out at our anatomy scan. We did pick for subsequent transfers, and let me tell you…it is hard not to get attached.
That's the scary part for sure!!
we found out the sex of all our embryos. we chose to transfer our only female embryo first (it was the worst graded) because I wanted to come to terms with it if we weren’t going to be able to have a female child (which both my husband and i really wanted). It didn’t work, and now we just did our second transfer with the highest quality embryo (which is male). if this doesn’t work we’ll do another egg retrieval round and I’ll definitely want the sex information again, but I’m not sure i care as much about it anymore. I like having as much information as possible and it also makes me feel closer to the process/the embryo which I like (I know that’s not for everyone). I don’t think there’s any wrong decision, just personal preference.
We had two genetically tested embryos that were equal in quality, one boy and one girl. We already have a daughter so we chose to transfer the male embryo, it didn’t stick. We both went through a bit of a mourning period, mourning for the fact the transfer didn’t work and also mourning the realization of not having both a boy and girl. So something to consider, knowing the gender definitely adds a new element of attachment. That being said, we just transferred the female embryo and we are both over the moon with excitement that this one sticks.
We were also given the option to choose. All of our embryos were good, and the doctor said he would have no issues transferring any of them. We decided to let them decide so we weren't too attached the idea of "today they are transferring our son or daughter" - so that if it doesn't work it would be less painful. We had to do 3 transfers and although they were still painful losses, we don't know what we lost. I don't know if that makes any sense lol.
It absolutely does! I hadn't thought of the attachment aspect until positing this!
We got 3 embryos in the first IVF cycle that tested normal in PGT testing and we chose to know the gender. Turns out all 3 of them are male and both of us really wanted a girl.. so I start my second IVF round today.. if we hadn’t found out the genders, we probably wouldn’t have done this second round. Yes - healthy baby is absolutely the first priority but we thought this helped us plan out a little better.
Also not into the whole gender reveal thing
My husband and I wanted to know the genders for the simple fact of that if we get more of one gender, we wouldn’t use up the ‘less amount’ of one gender 1st, even if they were slightly better graded.
Question. We are in the process of completing testing to do IVF. At my consult, I was told we should do ICSI, I asked would we know the gender and my doctor said no. I thought this was really strange since with ICSI, you are using a single sperm from my understanding. She said without additional testing they wouldn’t know the gender unless I paid for it. Wouldn’t they know the gender by looking at the sperm ?
Nope, they can't tell with great certainty what DNA the sperm is carrying by sight alone. It's a beauty contest of the best most motile sperm,etc.
PGT-A tests the embryo itself and how the chromosomes (some from egg, some from sperm) lined up in the end. Sometimes there's too many chromosomes, sometimes too few, sometimes they're in the wrong place. In viewing the chromosomes, they also happen to find out the gender. The test itself isn't really done for gender alone, or at least, isn't *supposed* to be
Gotcha, thank you. Is GTA test standard?
I went with highest grade euploid.
I didn't know the sex of *any* of my embyros, but apparently it wouldn't have mattered much anyway. I found out after transfer that out of my six embryos, five were male.
The odds of having a boy were already quite skewed to begin with!
I would pick the best grade egg over gender
Interesting! Seems like it’s 50/50 in the comments