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Dependent-Job1773

I walked through a graveyard which at first I had confused with a simple outdoor park. It was sobering seeing how many gravestones had recent birthdates on them. Really sad but also puts life in perspective


horseradishking

I love cemeteries. They are like parks. One of my favorites is Spring Grove Cemetery in Cincinnati. Reserve a few hours to visit it.


crazycatlady331

I walked near a graveyard in my hometown that hasn't been used in well over a century. I saw a mother/son stone (best maintained one in the graveyard) where they purchased the stone but neither of their death dates were in there. They were born in 1860 and 1878, so they're clearly not still with us. But I wonder what happened to them. What kind of lives did they lead?


Dingelsen

probably kid died in a war no body returned mother dies of grief


RichardMcNixon

Kid died in the war, mother turned to alcoholism, father left for California to find his fortune only to be gunned down in a bar brawl. Mother went to work for a coat factory, making buttons. She had no friends, and worked the graveyard shift. She visited her sons headstone every Sunday, but couldn't afford to carve the date with her meager wages. One evening, while walking home she was approached by a strange gentleman who offered to accompany her. He reminded her of her son, and so she accepted. Upon arrival at her doorstep he took her in his arms and bit her neck. Today she lives still, feeding on the poor souls who wander through the graveyard at night... except for Sundays, when she sits at her sons grave until dawn.


Alternative-Cut-4831

I would like to have the thing you are smoking.It might give new perspective to my life.


RichardMcNixon

it's just weed, officer


SirArthurConansBoil

This is pretty great and the explanation I'll go with.


thiagoqf

This short novel its better than most movie scripts we're seeing today. Thank you sir.


Adventurous_Menu_683

Before parks were a thing, cemeteries provided the same purpose for a family gatherings or a place to go out and picnic, as recently as the Victorian era.


unexampled

My mom took my little brother and I to the local 'pioneer cemetery' for just that, picnics. The 80s. Oregon's capitol city. Nothing disrespectful, enjoyed reading the gravestones and appreciating the lives represented.


OriginalAnalysis2940

Wild. I worked in downtown Salem a couple years back and used to eat lunch there to get away from people. I love knowing I’m not the only one that found it nice.


-Googlrr

I like that tbh. Cemeteries have good reasons to be sad places but I think using them as a place of gathering and fun is a good celebration of life. Also they take up so much space we might as well make good use of it


CharlesV_

There’s an old cemetery maybe a mile from where I grew up. It’s small enough and in a remote enough place that it isn’t well maintained, but you can see the dates on the stones and walk through some areas. I dont recall the exact dates, but one of the stones belonged to a woman who was born in ~1765 Pennsylvania and died in ~1848 Iowa. She lived through a ton of American history in that time. Super cool to think about.


Wu-Tang_Cam

If you live close to one, go to a VA National Cemetery. I had my wife's ashes buried in one near me and it's such a beautiful place that is meticulously maintained.


JustVern

Same. I see history in them. One that always made me chuckle was a cemetery in So.Fla. There is a double grave and tombstone. Apparently, the wife died first. Engraved is "The only woman I ever loved". But, next to them a smaller stone, "The only woman I ever loved." The husband died last. Shockingly. Also, Leslie Nielsen is buried there with a stone 'Let'r Rip!' Saw a tomb in Key West that read "I told you I was sick." Also there is a decent sized Mausoleum with a pay phone. Who knows who pays the phone bills, but you can make a call if you deposit coins. Key West is amusing and nutty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


horseradishking

Definitely. You're so lucky! Do you visit it often?


sadbutc00lc00lc00l

I like multi use cemeteries


quigonjoe66

Have you been to Springfield cemetery where Lincoln lays, it really is something to see.


Sprmodelcitizen

Older graveyards were intended to be parks. People would go picnicking and play games etc. that’s why old graveyards are so pretty.


superstonedpenguin

In my hometown, there is a cemetery outside of town where if you go to the far back right corner you'll see 2 interesting graves. Thete is a black rod iron fence around each. It's very strange. Ever seen something like that? It's just those 2 that are each fenced in. Not fenced in together, like each one has a fence around it.


abdelg21

I live next to a graveyard, if i had any doubts about the pandemic not being as bad as i initially thought, all those doubts got erased by the coffins coming in from the ones who were allowed to burry their loved ones. Many more had to cremate them and take their ashes with them. Living next to a graveyard funerals aren't rare per se but when they happen a little too often it shakes you a little.


BisquickNinja

20! So young. :(


GreyPilgrim1973

We are so lucky to live in the era of antibiotics. Pray we don’t breed resistance and move into an era where they are no longer effective


CoconutMochi

I'm glad those stupid antibacterial soaps with triclosan went out of fashion. It takes like 15 minutes for it to effectively kill germs so it's basically worthless for its intended use in soap anyway


jcrreddit

Exactly! I went back to bar soap when all the liquid soaps had triclosan.


curious_booboo

Antimicrobial resistance is apparently considered as the next worldwide pandemic by many.


HiILikePlants

But the real concern is agricultural antibiotic use, not so much hand soap?


curious_booboo

Sorry I just hijacked the top reply. Was referring to antimicrobial resistance as a whole Real concern is more of everything. Over the counter antibiotics, improper prescription or just not completing the prescribed regimen while taking medication being the main concern in medical field.


Shadow_legend98

We still do have bacteria-phages if you don't know them watch a kurzgagest video on it


GreyPilgrim1973

Yes, but many would die from otherwise treatable infections before the next gen therapies are ready for prime time though. Moreover, first world nations would receive said therapies much sooner while billions would be shit out of luck for years


Nick797

So true. I live in a country where we are making the most advanced antibiotics but can't use them locally as probably the IP licensor doesn't want them used locally. With this kind of gatekeeping going around, antibiotic resistance and the lack of next gen therapies is a real issue.


BishmillahPlease

… you ever read something that is so evil that it leaves you dizzy?


cyrathil

Welcome to late stage capitalism. Our society seems to invariably take the easier, short sighted way to everything. If you applied the principles of psychohistory to current world, you'll find an appalling trend spiraling downwards.


BishmillahPlease

Oh, I know, it’s just yet another thing that spun me a bit.


cyrathil

It just fuckin hurts man. World doesn't have to be this complicated. Acting like a crackhead for oil supply is just so passe. It hurts that we know better yet the vested interests would like to continue milking humanity for artificial resource of money. I wonder when will we break our collective delusions, not till it breaks us. I fear.


sergei1980

I have heard it's like the call of Cthulhu, the more you know about how good things could be, the crazier I feel.


Nick797

It's pretty disheartening. I was looking for the antibiotic for my sick parent sometime back. Discovered the key ingredient is being made in my own city and another company is also making it. But both can't market it here. To get it, I have to either import it from the US or round-trip it from Canada. The costs and timeframe involved made the whole effort a non starter. Another antibiotic called Vabomere is also not available to certain developing countries, at least not where I am. While the public reason is the licensor doesn't want the hassle, the truth is they are afraid it may lead to its widespread usage, cause it to become less effective, so its never been sold here or even licensed. Easier to restrict it elsewhere and recoup the investment I guess. If it does get licensed, genetics may follow too.


csk1325

You are so very correct.


GunnzzNRoses

bacteriophages! yes, i was about to say the same thing. what's nice, too, is that when the bacterium grow resistant to the phages, we can switch to antibiotics, and vice versa, because bacteria can only posses immunity to one at a time


bigot_detector

Why do you think bacteria can only be resistant to one or the other? Bacteria can absolutely develop resistance to multiple treatments. [We already have a number of multidrug resistant organisms (MDROs). ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_drug_resistance)


NomadFire

There was a time when dying during child birth was somewhat normal. And know a childhood friend that died before becoming an adult was normal. And we are not as far away from that time as some might think.


MightyMemeKing1337

I just got my Typhoid vaccine. If only she lived 100 years later, she could have too.


GreyPilgrim1973

The first effective typhoid vaccine was in 1896 (!)


Supply-Slut

*Checks notes* Yeah I don’t think you prayed hard enough… hmm have you tried adding some *thoughts* to your prayers? It may prove more effective for your circumstances.


GreyPilgrim1973

Yeah but when Darth Vader said “I am altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further” adding ‘thoughts’ would just sound clunky.


lcbk

Looking at you, USA! I'm a Swede living in the US and everytime anyone I know, including me, goes to the doctor they throw antibiotics at you, without even knowing exactly what you have just as a precaution. Turns out it was some else "woops, just stop taking them!" It's a shit show. In Sweden, they only give it to you if you would get life threatening consequences if not.


Scooterks

Yes, but we also live in an era where people swear by magic crystals and healing oils instead of actual medical care.


CommissionerOdo

That used to be the only thing people swore by. Now we just also have medicine


demented_lobotomy

Its too late for that mate, people keep popping antibiotics like they are candy. Give it another 10-15 years and I bet something that no antibiotics we have will do anything for pops up. You have super karen moms who pump their kid full of the shit at the slightest sniffle.....


GreyPilgrim1973

There actually are strains that we can’t treat even now. Thankfully rare…for now


Mosenji

Any old graveyard is shocking to people raised with modern medical care. So many babies, children, young men, and wives barely past their teens.


IndexMatchXFD

Used to walk my dog through an old graveyard. Every family plot had little tombstones for children who had died. Can you imagine if *every family you know* had lost a child at some point??


csk1325

They really are a lesson of how hard things were and how death was close at hand.


Bill_Falsename

one of the most sobering moments for me was visiting an old cemetery and seeing a family plot with eight tiny headstones with nothing but the word "Infant"


aargent88

True, sometimes they didn't give you a name until a certain age. I still see that sometimes in Albania, they just call them baby till they grow up a bit. They usually don't give names to pets too. Guess it's a way to keep sanity. "We all lie to ourselves to deal with the horror" don't we?


Paradoxou

To think... some people out there are actively fighting against modern medicine and vaccines. The pro-life folks should take a long walk in a cemetery and look at what they really wish for


southwesthampton

My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the…in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us.


JimFromNH

But what about your son?!


NoSandwichOnlyZuul

Moth, man, you're troubled


aabarot

2.432902e+18 is quite the long life!!


BisquickNinja

More like similar to 4!


TheMetaGamer

Some day if humanity doesn’t get wiped out they will say the same about us in our 70’s-80’s.


Karcinogene

It's kind of fucked up that people die. Everyone born with an incurable disease, keeping the species alive only by out-breeding the unstoppable tsunami of death. No matter how many valuable things they've learned in their life, it all goes away. People in the future are going to be horrified of how we lived.


yaforgot-my-password

I really don't think that we'll ever be able to 'solve' death.


gooderz84

20 years old dam.


Otto_Mcwrect

Dying of hemorrhagic typhoid fever sounds a right shite way to go.


MordinSolusSTG

Looked it up, holes can form in intestines and cause sepsis, and then that's basically it. The pain has to be incredibly bad. Poor woman


ssSerendipityss

I adore lady taphos! My favorite TikTok


horseradishking

I love how she uses soft material and low-pressure water and limestone-safe cleaning agent, D/2, to preserve the headstones for the future while keeping them clean.


porcupineporridge

Oh that’s brilliant. I watched this concerned about the impact it would have on the stone’s longevity but so good to know she takes that into account.


IntronD

Sadly others that copy this do not and damage headstones there have already been several Cases in the UK during lock down where do gooders damaged headstones and also cases where they used the correct cleaning but failed to have permission to clean them and upset families.


Cheshie_D

Oh so she gets permission from the families to do it?? Good! I was worried she was doing it without permission and I was kinda annoyed every time I saw these videos, because personally I’d want my tombstone to look old and decrepit.


camssymphony

I know some cemeteries allow people to clean gravestones marked a certain year or earlier because they're viewed as "forgotten" (most of the ones I've seen are 1900 and older). Newer ones are definitely done with the families' permission/request though.


mekkavelli

right?? a century after my death, i’d want mine to be all mossy and creepy looking with my name covered with vines. very ominous, like i wronged someone in a past life


Moose_Human

With something that sounds like it could be advice… or a threat. Here lies John Doe. Linger not if ye value thine life Or Dwell not amongst the dead if thou would live


dreamWeaver82

I want my shit to look as spooky as possible


intangibleTangelo

if i weren't dead, i'd be pissed — i don't want someone stripping the spook off my tomb


heelsmaster

How are you supposed to get into the spook mood when your home looks so damn clean.


TootiePhrootie

>if i weren't dead U WOT M8?


Mermaid_La_Reine

Great video- thank you for sharing. May I suggest, perhaps, a cross post to Genealogy boards? Family archeologists would love to see the proper way to cleanse a headstone without damage. I had no idea the plastic scraper was a go-to tool. Thank you.


MeccIt

> Genealogy boards? r/findagrave is where it's at


CatBedParadise

I want to fix a neglected cemetary nearby. Do you have a good non-TikTok account to recommend (I dislike TT privacy practices so I don’t have it)?


MadAzza

Please get family/cemetery’s permission first


horseradishking

She has a tutorial on her TikTok page. There may be sites on how to clean headstones if you do a general search.


FuhrerGirthWorm

I just don’t understand using the paint scraper. I help manage a cemetery and our historian would SCREECH if he caught us doing that.


TheSurbies

Never do this without knowing how and permission. This Women is great.


xXMuschi_DestroyerXx

Possibly stupid question but permission from who?


lilwolp

Graveyard and/or family.


TheLemonyOrange

Although I agree with this to an extent, it's hard to get permission for something like this. There is no contact information for a grave stone, and the owner of the graveyard probably isn't able to give that information over to you. I think as long as you are knowledgeable in the process as well as respectful and careful with your cleaning process then people shouldn't be mad or upset for you cleaning a grave stone of their friend or family. It's a commendable thing in my opinion. But only if done correctly with care and respect. If somebody asked you not to do so, or stoped you doing it to their families or friends grave stone, then that should be respected. But I personally think doing this is a respectable and commendable thing to do. But that's just my 2 cents I suppose.


deadowl

It's not uncommon for gravestones to be irreparably damaged by people with good intentions, and there are a lot of organizations that are interested in gravestones that can give you information on how to properly go about things.


kralrick

Doing nothing is usually a better way to preserve something old than trying without knowing what you're doing. Doing nothing has already worked well enough for that thing to be old. Removing an item from where you found it or trying to remove the aging on it can damage it beyond repair.


theryman

It is hard to get permission! And when you can't, you don't do it.


Boku-no_Pico

> it's hard to get permission for something like this Then don't do it


OkTaro462

It isn’t difficult to locate the groundskeeper. Cemeteries don’t keep themselves. I wouldn’t want my moms grave cleaned. She’s buried next to her brother, who died when he was 3. She died at 32, and her grave has aged in the years since she passed. It’s the only place I’ve visited her in over a decade and I would be pretty upset if I visited and they were shiny and new. Maybe do it to graves that are 100+ years old/abandoned/have families that would like them restored. I imagine the groundskeeper would have info on older/abandoned headstones. Otherwise, let loved ones decide. It’s a sacred place, especially in areas where the plot is permanent. (I personally think permanent graves are a waste of space, however my mom was killed when I was 14 and her brother long before I was born. I had no say in either, and her family owns the plot in her/her families hometown.)


turtlebambi

Idk personally i want my gravestone to be cover in moss or other nature


KillerPussyToo

>I think as long as you are knowledgeable in the process as well as respectful and careful with your cleaning process then people shouldn't be mad or upset for you cleaning a grave stone of their friend or family. Do not do this unless you have permission! Why is that so hard to understand for some people? Some families actually prefer that the grave remain in the state it is in. Someone tried to clean off one of my family members' 100+ year headstone and broke it! Family members were devastated. Leave people's graves alone unless you have permission from the family to clean it! You have absolutely no right to do anything to anyone's grave without permission no matter how respectful and careful you think you are being.


adamskill

Cemeteries are usually managed by a local council or similar.


amhansen522

You need permission from NOK (Next of Kin) or you can call in a work order for specific grave (if the cemetery has perpetual care, which is most likely privately owned - not city cemetery) Source: I work at privately owned cemeteries in Savannah, GA. Also - this is why we don’t use marble anymore and switched to granite.


huhIguess

> it's hard to get permission for something like this. Then DON'T DO IT. > I personally think doing this is a respectable and commendable thing to do. It's not. You might as well spray paint graffiti over the gravestone; without permission you are vandalizing. Please keep in mind restoring gravestones is a bit like restoring art. Done by amateurs - you will destroy the painting. Stone is porous - it absorbs the cleaners you use, whether water or chemical. Wrong types of scraper will strip layers off stone, literally defacing the gravestone and causing the chiseled-words to crumble off. Good intentions do not justify wicked actions.


CrUsHeDOfF

Besides, someone might want the patina.


huhIguess

> patina I couldn't remember the word for the beautiful coating that aged the rock, but absolutely agree.


canman7373

> it's hard to get permission for something like this. How is it hard? Someone watches over the graveyard, owns the land, etc.. Ya find that person, it's really not hard.


frizzledrizzle

It's a bad idea to put it online, people will copy the behaviour. If a person has permission to clean the tombstone, fine. This looks alright to me, especially with the video as proof of care. But don't start cleaning tombstones from random people. Imagine someone touching your brothers' or sisters' tombstone.


TheSurbies

Family, historical society for the town, owner of the graveyard, trusts that watch over the graves.


KillerPussyToo

Descendants still visit very old graves. Just because the stones look like this doesn't mean the people buried beneath them are forgotten. Some families prefer the moss and grit on the headstones.


xpkranger

I still visit my Great-great-grandfather’s grave. In fact we’ve buried relatives in the plot as recently as 2007.


TheShyPig

If you did this on old stones in a graveyard in the UK you'd be classed as a vandal. These things are left to age on purpose and can't be touched unless you are the plot owner (e.g. I am the current owner of my mothers plot) or have the plot owners permission. I would go absolutely ballistic if anyone did that to one of our family graves.Its like polishing old brass or copper: it destroys it So at least get permission from the graveyard owner e.g. church, or council


ahumannamedtim

I am currently, while I still can, giving you permission to clean my future grave in any manner you'd like.


LauraZaid11

I will clean it with glitter. Yours will be the most fabulous gravestone in the cemetery. Just make sure you die in the next 97 years.


ahumannamedtim

I'll try my best.


LauraZaid11

Good human.


frostybollocks

I volunteer to keep it lubed daily


Cash4Goldschmidt

You can pee on mine I promise I won’t object


JustifytheMean

I know someone you can pay to pee on you. I'm sure they'll pee on your grave too if you ask nicely.


ButterYurBacon

Maybe direct family? I think that's how she got the quick bios of the owner


indorock

From the person in the grave, obvs


plexomaniac

The dead, obviously. You don't want them angry and haunting you.


thelastlogin

The dead.


keenreefsmoment

The person is literally lying in the grave you gonna wash , who else? Would you be happy if someone came into your house and randomly cleaned it? What if they moved something


KillerPussyToo

I came in here to say this. Someone ruined my ggg grandfather's stone by trying to maintain it when family explicitly asked them to leave it alone. And by ruin, I mean they broke it. The "volunteer" should have just left it TF alone like they were asked.


_Sausage_fingers

How did they accidentally break a gravestone trying maintain it?


KillerPussyToo

It fell over while they were trying to clean it and broke into pieces when it hit the ground. The pieces were put back together with some type of cement or glue. I’ll ask my dad tomorrow if he knows exactly how they put it back together.


pete_ape

Reminds me of when the wife and I visited Salem and visited the Old Burying Point. There are two entrances. One of them has a sign that says not to make grave rubbings, the other doesn't. Guess which one we happened to use? Wife is making some nice rubbings of some of the head stone art, and this guy starts tearing into her for doing it. After some very heated exchange of words, we all find out about the lack of signage at 50% of the graveyard entrances. Guy was still a dick afterwards.


dex206

At least you learned to not touch very old stuff as is the normal standard in literally every UNESCO, US, etc historical site on the planet. Don’t touch. You don’t need a sign that says “don’t rub an abrasive against the 400+ year old limestone.”


TheSurbies

Oh shit my uncle is on the Concord historical society and they take that shit seriously. But yeah fix the sign.


chewymenstrualblood

In case anyone else is curious what a "grave rubbing" is: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stone_rubbing#Gravestone_rubbing


Tiller9

Whoa, whoa, whoa... hol up... So the husband just dumped his daughter on the mother's parents and started another family?


laurenzee

My great grandfather left his first wife and 4 living children in Boston to start a new family in NJ. His youngest son in Boston was 14 when his mother died and he was living with one of his siblings when he himself died in an elevator accident. The newspaper described him as an orphan. We don't know why he left his original family.


Tiller9

I bet its weird to think that had he not abandoned his family, you would never exist. I think about that shit sometimes... like if your great great great great great grandparents never bumped fuglies at a specific time, the entire lineage thereafter doesn't exist, and a new lineage would have taken its place. Almost like an alternate universe.


alwptot

I mean if you want to really have an existential crisis, just think that when your dad ejaculated into your mom there were literally millions of different sperm cells that could’ve fertilized her egg. A simple shift in position by either one of them and you could’ve been an entirely different person.


howsurmomnthem

My great granddad ALSO dumped his first family [of 8 kids] and started a new one a couple of states away. You would *assume* it’s the whole 8 kids thing but then why have more? And they were mostly all grown by then. So weird. Tbf, my dad also dumped his first wife and 2 kids and then met my mom [that’s the official story at least but it was, *ahem*, concurrent] and they had me so I guess I have it on both sides, however, it stopped with me as I am A. female [it’s way harder for us to get away with lol] and B. Didn’t want/ didn’t have any kids. Well, technically I’m like a half-mom as I took in someone else’s kid when the mom died and the dad fucked off [and coincidentally had another family. What with these guys?!?] So I can’t really fuck off and start a new family because I didn’t even start this one to begin with.


Looloo4460

Father of the year


l2anndom

I came here to say fuck that guy. My wife died when my children were 3 and 6. I'd never dump them on anyone. They have now recently turned 4 and 7. They miss their mom.


2bunnies

I'm so, so sorry.


badFishTu

Right? Wtf


RuelleVerte

How he gonna work full time and care for a baby, especially in an era where it was not generally acceptable for men to raise children? What if the maternal grandparents just showed up and were like "Hey this is our kid now bye"? Even TODAY there are plenty of people who don't think men are capable of raising babies. For all we know, poor guy lost his wife AND daughter.


Tiller9

That's fair; we don't know the whole story. However, the video does say the daughter was raised by the mother's parents.... and we all know that you can always trust what you read on the internet.


Trai-Harder

Ok to second part but wtf to the first part? They do it the same way a single mother does what kinda question is that? An what it's not acceptable for men to raise children what?!?!?


Choclategum

Yeah that working full time shit falls apart when you see that he remarried in a time where women were expected to be housewives and take care of children. Also what era is it that it wasnt acceptable for a **widowed** man to take care of his children? Ive heard of gender roles when both parents are alive, but this isnt the case here. You have a point that the grandparents could have shown up and forced him to give up that baby and thats the only point that makes sense.


EquivalentBadger8

It does totally seem weird but I learned the other day that this attitude actually has a term called Presentism. From what I understand presentism is holding history to today's standards when it's somewhat unfair to do so because it was a different time. Not saying it's right or wrong, just an interesting perspective. Weird how this is an example of it after I just learned about it. Edit: cuz the link was weird. [Here it is](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presentism_(literary_and_historical_analysis%29)


birdyandbun

That’s kind of how it worked back then, you could say fuck it and start over


Tiller9

That's what replies to my comment keep saying... I figured it was a one-off like when a dad leaves to go get a pack of smokes and never comes back. But to be a common mindset accepted by many... I have no words.


you90000

Is there a YouTube for this? I could watch this all day


horseradishking

LadyTaphos is her TikTok handle. You might find her videos on YouTube. But you can watch TikTok through a browser on the desktop, at least. Here's her page: https://www.tiktok.com/@ladytaphos


RobotReptar

She has an Instagram too with the same handle


Sololop

Wednesdays on r/powerwashingporn


DanFuckingSchneider

We often think of people in the distance past as simply caricatures of their time. It’s easy to forget that people of the past lived lives as real and vibrant as ours today. Our experiences may be different but we’re all people in our own right, and they felt their lives as vibrant and real as you feel your own. This is a heartwarming, extremely touching act of kindness for someone who passed too early.


GeorgieLaurinda

She gets permission from the cemetery. She is currently working with her state’s authorities to identify the graves of slaves and to try and find names. The graveyard for these slaves was on the land owned by her great great grandfather. She wants to, and feels responsible to mitigate the sins of her ancestors. The land is now a state park. She researched the best practices and uses different treatments for different materials. She is knocking off the moss which is actually damaging to stone. She also researches the person to bring their story to “life”. She has her reasons for doing this and she has hinted at it on her Tik-Tok. She knows why she is doing and is working with the cemetery and/or the oversight agency. I believe she is also working to do general beautification/maintenance on neglected cemeteries too.


firedude1314

r/oddlysatisfying


Coopertron07

r/sadlysatisfying


fivefeetofawkward

Wait…Gracie’s husband started a new family and didn’t bother to take his own daughter with him? That’s fucked up.


RobotReptar

This was super common back then. I do genealogy work and it was very common for women's families to taken in the grandchild after the mother's death, especially if the father didn't remarry right away. Sometimes dad's family stepped in, but mostly it was mom's. A lot of times dad couldn't care for the kids and work full time to support them, so sending them to live with their retired grandparents, or with grandma who was just keeping house, was preferable (and free). I have seen it time and time again building my family tree. As for when dad got remarried yeah, it's fucked but it happened a lot. Either the new wife didn't want the kids underfoot or dad couldn't afford the kids to move back in, or they didn't want to uproot them after spending years living with the Grandparents.


gct

Rural families especially dad would often just marry a sister which is odd to modern eyes but pragmatic from a minimizing disruption point of view. My Great(-great?) grandpa did it.


RobotReptar

Yeah, you see that a lot. Or a recent widow from the community. I have a couple families where it was a niece or a cousin of the deceased wife. Basically anyone that the children would be comfortable with that could step in and take care of them and the home.


Quatrekins

To be fair, since the mother was only 20, depending on the community, there’s a chance that her parents were still caring for children at home.


mydaycake

When my mum was born her oldest sister was married with a couple of kids already. Her oldest brother was courting a girl and got married soon after. She was the last of 8 kids spread over 20 years, very common with Catholic families and more modern medicine/ prenatal care. Most of my cousins are my parents age/ generation.


RobotReptar

Yeah, it's happened more than once that I've mistaken a child for a grandchild when the age gap between youngest kid and grandkid living with the family is like 2-5 years.


cocoabeach

Around 1918 or 1920 when my grandmother was two her mom died. Close to that same time, a mother of three lost her husband. My great grandfather met and married that woman. I have often thought that it was merely a marriage of convenience. He had a farm and two daughters and she had two sons. He needed sons and she needed a husband. Even though these two were in their middle to late twenties and had had children, they never produced another child. I may be assuming more than I should. They seemed to get along fine and lots of people died from the 1918 flu, maybe it interfered with her or his ability to have children.


BizarroObama

His purpose was to work and support a family, hers was to raise kids. When she died he left her job to her parents and started new. Gender roles serve no one except to limit good choices into stupid ones.


Cluelessish

I don't know, I like cemeteries that have those old mossy gravestones among newer ones. You can sense the time that has passed. There is something comforting in the memory of the dead slowly getting muffled, so to speak. It feels natural.


PamPooveyIsTheTits

The earth is bringing them home.


shortercrust

If you did this here in the UK people would think it was vandalism.


SqueakySniper

It looked so much better before. Clean gravestones just feel sterile and fake.


PerryTheRacistPanda

Theres still a dead body underneath if you wanna check authenticity


Turtle4hire

Looks so nice now edit typo


amoretpax

How nice. I hope someone does the same to that lady’s grave a hundred years after her death.


CDewfus

When I walk around a cemetery, I like to wonder what people's lives were like. Were they good? Tough? Full of love? Heartache? It's OK, person. I'm thinking about you. You're not forgotten.


probablynotzucc

i do that in thrift stores and other places where you find old stuff. if there's pictures or letters i take a moment to look at them, because they meant something to someone and i want them to be remembered, even if just for a moment


stangerthings

RIP Gracie 🙏


JanB1

In my country graves normally get dug up and reused all 20 to 30 years. So...no ancient gravestones for us.


Industrialpainter89

What is done with the bodies?


Buttercup4869

At least in my country, if something is left, it typically gets buried even deeper or is reburied on an anonymous dedicated area of the cemetery.


locomotion88

Country?


palcatraz

The Netherlands does this. You can extend a lease on a grave for longer if you really want. We have limited space, so there is only so much we can reserve for graves.


MNDox

This happens in Germany (at least in parts). We were told that you more or less rented grave sites instead of owning them. Great grandma was freshly sitting on top of who knows who else.


Dl25588

‘With one application of Spiffy, you’ll think the body’s still warm!’


slick-back-bill

Bonstone sells a product called D2 that is made to clean old stones. They use it at Arlington. It's the shit. In case you try to clean a monument, never use bleach. Bleach makes granite and marble brittle and prone to break over the years.


Cheesefox777

["It's one kind favor I'll ask of you, see that my grave is kept clean."](https://youtube.com/watch?v=pX3mxjtpyBc)


bcanada92

I grew up about a quarter mile from a church cemetery. Most of the graves were less than a hundred years old, but there was a really ancient section in the back. The tombstones there were all so old that it was impossible to read many of them— the elements had worn the text down to almost nothing.


jeffroddit

I liked it better before. Never thought I'd need to have a DNR order posted over my tombstone too.


doc_brietz

This is Alicia aka ladytaphos. She is a sweet woman and her whole channel is stuff just like this.


HarambesK1ller

Pleased I get to see and hear this before someone puts some dumb audio track on it. RIP Gracie Thomas.


hamellr

Do not use a scraper to clean gravestones! DO NOT DO THIS! If you want to know how to do it right: [https://blog.billiongraves.com/gravestone-cleaning-101/](https://blog.billiongraves.com/gravestone-cleaning-101/)


danteelite

Sometimes I ride my onewheel through the huge cemetery behind my house and pick up trash and just try to acknowledge the people there. I myself have cancer and will probably be dead too before too long. So I like just let them know that someone is at least thinking about them, acknowledging that they once lived and wondering about who they were. Sometimes for more recent deaths I look them up, try to find something interesting about them to remember like a woman Annie who made really cool carved candle art. She understood that everything is temporary and her art was only most beautiful while it was being destroyed.. to fully appreciate her art, you HAVE to burn it. I like that and whenever I ride by I think about that. What else in life am I missing out on by trying to protect it or keep it, stickers I never use, shoes I’m afraid to get dirty… little stupid things that add up. Or a man named Michael who made cool metal sculpture art to sell and donate the money to charity. He reused old metal, recycled and turned scrap and garbage into beautiful works of art that actually helped others by supporting charities! Pretty damn cool! Or a guy named Ed. His obituary and page is still updated almost weekly, even though he died over a decade ago. He was clearly VERY loved and left a hole that can never be filled. His family still writes him updates and wishes him well, and I see them on occasion having picnics or bringing the kids by to see him, kids too young to have ever known him, who didn’t even exist when he was alive.. but they share a love for him based on the sheer volume of overflowing love his family has. I know that I won’t get that kind of reception when I’m dead, but his greatest accomplishment in life I think surpasses any billionaires or whatever else. The dude was loved and he’s honestly missed. That’s more than many people can say. We all hope that we’re loved and missed half that much when we’re gone. What’s the saying? Every man dies two deaths, the first when you die and the second when the last person forgets about you. I try to remember as many as I can and keep them alive and bit longer, and I just hope someone does the same for me. My name is Dante Antonio and one day I’ll be dead. It might be sooner than I’d like or longer than I’d imagined but either way, I’ll be gone. I just hope that someone remembers me and that maybe I made a small impact while I was here. That’s all we can hope for in the end.


BackwoodsBarbie18

Thank you for doing this. I'm a mortician & it warms my soul when others take care of the dead long after they're gone.


BreweryStoner

If I was a ghost I’d be like “Um excuse me miss, please leave my headstone the way it is. The algae and moss feed other creatures”


badass_foliage

Removing lichens damages the stone. I helped catalogue a 1700s era graveyard and all the volunteers were told to take it very seriously as we’d likely be the last people to ever view the stones in a legible state. This stone was quite a bit fresher than the ones we were working with but in general you should not remove lichens from graves. You are not honoring the dead, you are slowly erasing them.


horseradishking

Most studies I have read said that letting the lichen stay will cause far more harm than removing it. In the US, limestone and low-quality marble were the most used for headstones and most are already damaged by lichen and other biofilms that etched the stone and dulled the carvings. Stone breaks down. The harder the stone, the better. Limestone and low-quality marble are not long for this world in a moist environment.


uknowmysteeez

But why?


jemor1969

God bless you for doing that. You're an awesome human being


ktsmitt

we have the same birthday, i turn 21 this year 😟


insurvivorship

This should be more of a thing


captainbluemuffins

Some of these comments aren't it, chief