T O P
QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/BiAdventureTime, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


00-00-0000

Women are going on in your life.


Maximum_Barnacle_899

Sounds nice to be you!


00-00-0000

Oh it's actually opposite. I am a nerd


DaughterEarth

I'm a nerd and my husband is a nerd and it's awesome. We met on Tinder. We matched cause we liked the nerdy things in the bio. Don't listen to those numbers game people. You may get less matches by showing your nerdy interests, but the ones you get will actually like that about you and will go better.


SharpCheddarBS

You chose quality over quantity and beat the game


Titus_Vespasianus

Or some might say that’s how it should be played.


AnimaleTamale

Stacy's mom has got it going on.


KingCrandall

She's all I want and I've waited so long.


Itisnotaboomah

Stacey’s dad has got me going mad


AnimaleTamale

Stacy's brother makes me feel like no other.


-Manbearp1g-

Stacy herself is just watching from the shelf while I give a special kiss to Stacy's lil step-sis ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|shrug)


uncxltured_berry

Women are just too tired to be able to get to moon Dang, tough luck, also WTF


IWillLive4evr

As a man who is far away from the moon, I felt this. I am so tired.


Jyndaru

This is true. As much as I'd like to get to the moon, I am very tired.


RoadyHouse

Facts.


imdiccless

Women are you gonna get home can you get me a picture of it for a little bit of a weather and I will tell you about it when I get home Wtf?


atioch

Kinda wholesome. Sounds like a 40 year marriage to me


JustAnotherAviatrix

Awww, so true!


justsomeplainmeadows

Sounds like a drunk text in a 40 year marriage lol


Mr_Shake_

That’s called a stroke.


noots-to-you

This is the stroke: “Women are not too bad for me today too lol I just got a bill from the last day of august and august august and February august august and august august June august august and august….“


snakeskinsandles

Call the bondulance


ChillyBearGrylls

Nah, this is Jada's last text to Will


aurorabearialis

The real holup is always in the comments


_twelvebytwelve_

That's just the disc skipping on that lyric. Here's the stroke with a side of LSD: "Women are more uplifting and I think it is wild flowers and a bbq in a meeting with the never-before-seen 4.0GPA to be in my house".


Neither-Sprinkles-81

Woman are ready for be gone for have a great weekend 😂😂


Hornaydoe

Women are you doing today?


fadoxi

Wow, such thruth


anonymos97137

Women are the most prevalent liquids on the market. Dafuq???


aldandur

Whose bathwater did you order?


anonymos97137

I didn't but my jucy water tastes a bit... Fishy


Formenos0499

Women are you doing anything for a few days with the kids and I don't know what to do with it but I don't know what to do with it but I don't know what to do with it but I don't think it will be a good time to go to the house but I don't know what to do about it but I don't think it will be a good time to go to the house but I don't think so but I think I have to go to the house and get it figured out but I think I would be able to get it figured out but I think I would be able to get it figured out but I think I would be able to get it figured out but I think I would be able to find it but I think I would be able to get it figured out


owls_unite

Sounds like a painful divorce.


callycaggles

women are in a big group of women who have no choice of their children to be a male athlete or they are still working with the national guard and their parents


Cloverx234

Me flavored water, 15cents! Come taste my knees!


USAIsAUcountry

Women are edible


Expired_Cookiee

they sure are. I always ask them - should I take you out to eat or eat you out?


SakuraFoxOffical

What do they normally respond with?


Expired_Cookiee

they mostly remove their pfp. not sure why they don't text back.


SakuraFoxOffical

Huh… weird, I wonder why?


Expired_Cookiee

people on internet have been telling me that those women blocked me.


SakuraFoxOffical

Possibly so, it may just be that they are so overwhelmed by your Handsomeness and overall charm that fall down and accidentally hit the block button


Expired_Cookiee

that's the only plausible explanation I've got on internet. hope they didn't hurt themselves too bad. Thanks mate.


SakuraFoxOffical

Np! They’re probably fine, but they probably got burns and frost burn form no.1. Your extremely high hotness, no.2. Your even higher coolness.


OneSufficientFace

You forgot number 3. Convicted smooth criminal


JOExHIGASHI

Technically true


STATION25_SAYS_HELLO

Women are the most important because his death was a catalyst.


Either-Arachnid-5955

Almost sounds like a writing prompt


STATION25_SAYS_HELLO

I recognise the auto words from writing about All American Boys in English class


mischiefandtricks

Women are not going back in my potato soup


BiAdventureTime

No they are not


driving_andflying

Maybe if they said 'please,' that might change.


professorbenchang

Ok dahmer


AngelOfDeath771

Jeffrey Dahmer the people nommer


Basketballjuice

Dahmer knows that only men should go in potato soup


ImaFreakinBear

Not after last time.


TrainingAntique9837

Women are welcome to come over whenever you're ready


Relevant-Tree-2484

player


TrainingAntique9837

I'm Gamer and a player


[deleted]

I'm not a player, I'm a gamer players get bitches, I get bullied for wearing minecraft shirts in public


danoive

lol I got “Women are not allowed in this house and I am going out to dinner.”


ryanveilleux1

Me too!


allocationlist

This guy tinders


McMollyPitcher

Women are doing well.


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

I sure hope so


MegaAmphyLocks

Mine was “women are not doing well” so I guess it’s like 50/50 split?


BunsGotGuns

Women are the cheese.


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

“You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese”


Soleserious

Imma try this when I see her later.


xx_Chl_Chl_xx

Edit this comment when you get results


theghostinthetown

You may fascinate a cheese by giving it a piece of woman.


Flaming_Pickle517

You may fascinate a piece by giving it a cheese woman.


kolvn

Women are a myth


letsjakeonit

A smart phone wrote this


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teh__Doctor

Mines just gibberish - Women are not doing anything to do with this thing but I think they will need a little bit more to work on it lol


Pqrxz

Your phone is a politician


cchhcgghhhvhh

Reddit moment


SakuraFoxOffical

I knew it…


PotatoesAndChill

Women arent real. They are and have always been fake. All historical records, music, art and genetics depicting females have been altered by the government. It is well known that everyone has an CIA agent. That would either mean that there are double the people in the world or that half the population works for the government. It is said that around half the population is female. Curious, right? Also how do you explain the fact that women live longer than men? They work for the government! Of course, you might think that there is real proof for their existence, but I can debunk all of it. Their voice is made by voice changers. Their body is made by soy present in the air. Of course, the biggest counterargument would be their genitals. But porn is a lie. Have you ever seen a woman naked? Me neither. If you have a wife or a girlfriend, you are lying. But just for the sake of argument let's say you do. You have been brain washed by the government. The only thing all politicians agree on is the fact that women are made up. The only other rational argument I can think of is where do kids come from. Hahaha, you have been brainwashed to think about "birth". Everyone knows kids come from orphanages and factories. Did I change your mind or has the truth not reached your ears yet? women are a lie (any females are welcome to prove their existence in my DMs)


otakuwait

Women are in a bad way and I don't want them in my car so they don't want me too bad lol I swear I just don't have a good one too bad I swear to my parents are so cute I just want them all the way to my life I swear I don't have a good man and they want me too and they want to be my brother in law


FknRepunsel

Your phone is working through some stuff right now


otakuwait

And it scares me.


neerrccoo

Looks like you say “I swear” a lot lol


kaeji

This one sounds like a misogynist trying to talk his way out of being called out for his misogyny.


flight_1901

Women are not men


ShadowStalker334

True


nuggetsnik

Facts


Rullino

This can be interpreted in many ways.


MakeoutPoint

Whoa, you can't say that!


Kurotan

Women are pregnant for months generally.


AgentCarmichael20

Well that’s true


Sussybaka-3

r/technicallythetruth


Sweetcheels69

Women are not allowed in this house


AizRoam

I think you failed the check bro.


Sweetcheels69

Unfortunately 🥺


AizRoam

Women are just mad at you for the most important aspect of the whole story I mean, mine's straight simp, wanna trade?


TravelingDwarfMiner

He passed


AizRoam

I mean he won, but lost at the same time.


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Arrrrrr2D2

Women are you going to be able to get the vaccine on the way home from work and you can come over and over and over and over and over and over. ... I smell agenda.


Agreeable_Purchase69

Mine just did the same thing hahaha, also this: Men are so cute


ShadowRazz

You've got the gay


Arrrrrr2D2

men are you and your family made it to the same place. ... I passed but would still make it into a nut house


Antique_Ad3370

I got this same one wtf


Unchanged-

Same iPhone by any chance?


noremac2414

Yepp


DragonDropTechnology

Same. Also got “Men are not allowed in this house”, so…?


Antique_Ad3370

Yeah, got that one too. r/conspiracy perhaps?


Spare_Ad1017

Women are you able to get a job. ...woah buddy.


AnimaleTamale

Women are the most important thing to do in the world. What.


Boz0r

I got this exact line


AnimaleTamale

Well, as a straight dude, I can say that doing women is the most important thing in the world /s


MakeoutPoint

And as a misogynist, I can say women are things /s


xombae

Women are you doing today? Hmmm. I'll have to think about this for awhile.


EveryDayASchoolDay

Women are not allowed in this house and I am going out to dinner and then I’m gonna be back in a few hours so if you’re interested I will let me in the room with the kids if you don’t want me in there and then I can go back in there with the girls if they don’t have the room.


KedianX

Women are all out of town and they don't have any time for me to get the kids DayQuil


Nuker-79

Mine said the same


bad_comedic_value

Women are a good day for the birthday money and the wall is metres tall.


dookiebuttholepeepee

Women are not allowed to wear a black dress


Sintinall

Women are... (nothing shows up in autocomplete).


Dreadtz

Because they didn't exist


JasonTheAses

Women are not allowed in this house and they don’t want their kids in this room so I have no idea why you are not going out of town for the next couple days and then coming home to me I have no choice I am so upset and upset I don’t want you here anymore and I’m so sorry for you I don’t know how you are but you have a lot to be upset with and I’m sorry that you’re going to have a problem and you don’t want you have a lot going through it but I know that I don’t know that I am very upset with myself I just don’t know how I am and I’m not going through this and I’m sorry for the stress.


DougDjoudy

Are you ok bro? You look upset.


FaThLi

This is like a drunken break up text.


wtfbro_

Mine said the same thing. I stopped after “going out of town”. Kinda strange


Competitive-One5162

Women are not allowed to be in a relationship


brown_human

Me with the homies 🥰


mike_smith02

Women are the most important part in this world of human nature. I think my phone was made by a woman...


WhomWhoDrinksWater

Women are not allowed to wear a blue dress ???? Sorry ladies no blue


TitanHawk

Specifically no blue and black dresses. Only white and gold.


Emperor_Cartagia

Women are not here for the war in Iraq because of their own hurtling through space and their superiors off-station.


christ_w_attitude

That took a turn


Old-Juggernut-101

Women are better than me


BluudLust

Women are the only ones that are in the right. Women are the only things that can't be charged to the government. Yup. You heard it here first.


LinkeRatte_

Women are sorta advanced


r3d4ce

Women are not the intended recipient


crowned_tragedy

I don't know why this one is my favorite, but it is. It actually made me laugh


Imesseduponmyname

"Sorry I meant to send that dick pic to my bro"


Druid-Stoic90s

Me waiting for the dick pic my bro said he was sending me, "if I don't see his dick in the 5 minutes, I'm gonna lose my mind!"


Imesseduponmyname

When it arrives: ![gif](giphy|Gpf8A8aX2uWAg)


Titonick2

My phone somehow suggests the same, but with an even better ending! 'Women are not the intended recipient please notify the sender immediately by email if you have a great day'


PakodiBOI

Women are not allowed in this country


Tangerine-Dreamz

A lot of us got that also, apparently


GrymmTravel

Women are in a different country than they have been


sdwdqw65

Typed in “women are” on my iPad and got “men” “women” and “liars” So according to my ipad Women are men Women are women Women are liars Fascinating


InfiNorth

Is this one of those "one of them is telling a lie, which one is it?" riddles?


OH_FUC-

women are you sure you don't have to go to the hospital for a bit


crinnaursa

No point in going to the hospital. They'll Just say it must be cramps.


09SHO

Women are the most important thing to do in the world. Sounds good to me I guess.


Razmoar

Women are more likely to be a better cpu


julianAppleby5997

Women are more likely to be honest with you


Pennywise_clown99

Funny


SakuraFoxOffical

Of course we are!… maybe… Yeah! Of course we are…


AizRoam

Oy, woman, are you lying right now or not? I need an honest answer.


SakuraFoxOffical

Uhh- uh- uh- uh- uhm- I- uh- uhm- uh- I- I really like garlic bread-


AizRoam

Fuck, i can't tell if that's a lie. You won this one Women 1 - Men 0


SakuraFoxOffical

Bruh, who doesn’t like garlic bread, it’s not that hard to tell I’m telling the truth.


ti3kings

Women are in a big boy and I love them 🤔


SunOfSuna

Women are not allowed in this world


klightning47

🤨📸


InsideOutDeadRat

Women are not doing well lol 😂


Ruvyzvat_

Women are the game of a genius


Square-Ad1565

Women are in the same place as you


ACorDC

![gif](giphy|yaYV8i5n1OjZe)


CandyConsumer

Hot singles near you! Lol


_gmmaann_

Women are you


Napael

Women are you doing to be considered and the only reason they are always training to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on him when even Muteba was willing to get it woth that was on Did I pass?


LiveNeedleworker8759

Who’s Muteba?


jeeessseee

Women are not allowed to wear a dress for the next year


thirdtimesthemom

Sweatpants it is!


Lluma52

Women are super nice but super expensive.


UncleDevil666

🤨


Tsukiko615

Women are not allowed to wear a black bra


Charlie_le_unicorn

Women are more than a medium-sized businesses


Orange0reo

Women are doing well and they are not working on the bus lol lol I am so sorry I didn’t get to see you lol lol I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and I hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and hope you are doing well and


Delsious_NSFW_Art

and what? Don't leave us hanging


myusernameblabla

Women are in a different position


smaugtheE1337

women are not being used in this area of any other day


rain-drop-hero

Women are not the best for the larger children. True?


Fox-sage

Women are coming


Unhappy-Database-273

Women are you gonna have a quick look and see what they say that they brought in and we will need a few months back to get a second mortgage payment on our own and I have no problem paying you for the rent.


atioch

Oh I to have had a breakup


Broad-Cook-4462

Women are no longer available 😢


PersonneOfInterest

Women are not being rude to anyone who has a good idea about the fact you are doing so much fun


thegeniusmoose

Women are not allowed in this house and I am going out to dinner and then I’m gonna be back in a few hours so if you’re interested I will let me in the room 😳😳😳


DontYeetMySkeet

Women are the best in all aspects and is the most of their life and they didn't even get a job that they were very happy about and I was just about it or not and they were all good for the chorizo of us to have the patience to be there for you.


Flamingwisp

Women are the most important thing. Passed the misogyny check but not the misandry check.


its_still_conner

Women are not allowed to use their own food BRO WHAT


SquishyBrat

Women are not doing well


Andre-Arthur

``` Women are the only ones that can make the world feel better. ``` Well that was deep.


DoDoMoDe

Women are not going to portray my reaction when I was in the morning and have a nice day ahead.


JasonTheAses

Women are not allowed in this house. 😂😂😂


sansgamer554

Women are you and your family


thatdadfromcanada

Women are not the only one who can make it.


Connoriscool24

Women are not allowed in this house


Eiffel-Tower777

Women are more likely to be the best revenge.


Ghost3657_alt_

Women are the most important thing to do 🤨🤨🤨