T O P
QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/CzarcasmRules, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


SF-guy83

I don’t know about this. The guy at my local McDonalds always helps me out in the bathroom and ensures I’m satisfied. Perhaps that’s not the norm.


CzarcasmRules

Sounds like he has a more hands-on approach


AlwaysFianchetto

They don't call him the handy man for nothing


I_Got_Back_Pain

'Cause the handy man cannn


Tippydaug

Cause he mixes it with loveee


Send_Your_Noods_plz

Im lovin it.


CARPRUSA

McLovin it!


Shtnonurdog

Todd is the best McDonalds Servicer


bisexualboy38

It's more of a bottoms up style.


Cayderent

If the ice cream machine is broken, you get a rub & tug?


I_make_switch_a_roos

Did you offer the McFistin' or the McBlowie?


eyecandy99

i'd like to try the mcBlowie. Thanks


CARPRUSA

Would you like fries with that?


Technical-Ad6551

Supersize me


eyecandy99

nom nom nom


eyecandy99

O_O what u think


CARPRUSA

Outstanding.


cbbuntz

I personally order the McBlumpkin


I_make_switch_a_roos

dude that's fuckin gross did your mother ever discipline you or what?


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I_make_switch_a_roos

sorry man had a hard day. wife left me for chad


I_make_switch_a_roos

Hey my name's Chad. HAHAHAHA


Tank-Pilot74

Location..? I just need to make sure things are “up to norm”


brookegosi

A, a fellow Doofenshmirtz x Norm McDonald's bathroom roleplayer!


jsorensen83

McHandy-inator


CARPRUSA

If it's up to Norm, your thing is gonna be just fine.


QuantomField

There is only a handful of full service McDonald's. If ya know you know.


zealot416

IKR, my local McDonalds has a no Self-Shaking policy and they are always on the ball with it.


James_Paul_McCartney

I travel a lot and in my experience that is the norm. Employees are just getting lazy.


KnockoutCarousal

I hate to break it to you my dude but that’s not a McDonalds, that’s a truck stop bathroom. We’ve all been there.


alllmossttherrre

> The guy at my local McDonalds always helps me out in the bathroom and ensures I’m satisfied. Perhaps that’s not the norm. It’s not; Norm would never do that. There’s someone else at your McDonalds, and I bet it’s Bob…


-Dyleix

Does your name start with Tobias per chance?


donglewong

$15 well spent


the1999person

Normally behind the Wendy's dumpster.


Sweetdreams6t9

Is there a small hole in any of the stalls by any chance?


Atomaurus

2022, hands are slang for penis


Mumblix_Grumph

The employees were too busy not fixing the ice cream machine.


Puzzleheaded_Try3559

I heard they often say it is broken because it takes long to clean it so they won't put it on again


APoopingBook

Close. It's a trap designed to make the franchise owners support the contractually-obligated repairmen. Nobody at your local McDonald's has the power to fix it, in fact some marketed a pirated tool to let the average employee fix it, so McDonald's banned it. It basically amounts to fraud against the franchisees, but consumers keep falling for it being a joke or being the worker's fault.


Oleandervine

The FDA was actually investigating this, and last I heard they were coming real close to forcing McDonalds out of that contract so that any repairman, rather than just the contracted one, could be brought in to repair them. They said that the actual licensed repairmen for those things serviced huge areas, to the point where it's ridiculously unfeasible and expensive to even get them to come fix it.


mttp1990

I'll bet scotus prevents any actual outcome of whatever the fda's findings are. 6-3


comebackjoeyjojo

The majority ruling will be, “the traditions the constitution was founded on did not specifically ban McDonald’s from forcing a repair company to be the only one allowed to fix ice cream machines, thus it must be allowed to continue.”


MixxMaster

Similar to OneWheel only having one service center that everyone has to send their wheel in to get repaired, and they also make it so even just disconnecting and reconnecting the battery will brick the unit and have to be sent to the manufacturer.


sucksathangman

[For those interested in a YouTube video that discusses this in detail](https://youtu.be/SrDEtSlqJC4)


Eccohawk

If the franchise doesn't report it broken and just keeps the pirated tool around, who the hell is gonna be the wiser? Do they have corporate spies taking franchise fry cook jobs?


jct0064

I'm imagining a scenario where corporate calls as a customer to ask about the ice cream machine and if stores have too much uptime they send a spy.


Shtnonurdog

This comment is one of the few things that make me enjoy being alive.


Masticatron

There are entire reality TV shows about that.


muarauder12

Undercover Boss wasn't a reality show. It was carefully controlled and curated propaganda to help out business that need to refresh their public image.


Masticatron

And this differs from other reality shows how?


tojakk

There are plenty of reality shows that don't promote anyone other than themselves, what are you talking about?


mttp1990

They null and void the warranty on the very expensive machine. If the machine actually breaks instead of the pay walled error codes then they would not be able to get it repaired.


Eccohawk

Sounds like they're already spending thousands on repairs as it is. Not much of a warranty there.


bilgediver

There is a built in counter for servicing, it literally shuts down the whole machine


Stornahal

Here in the UK, our Taylor C602 shake/sundae machine goes into a mandatory 4hour heat-treat cycle at about 3am (heats the milk mixes up to ~75C and cools it down again to kill bacteria) Once a week we strip, clean & reassemble the machine - which takes about 4 hours (or 1hr 45 if you really know what you’re doing :-) ). This happens instead of the mandatory heat-treat. This is on a 7 day timer so cannot be skipped. As long as the parts are checked properly for wear & tear and replaced when necessary, (every three months for most rubber/Teflon parts, more often for some seals, every two years for some major parts) the machine rarely goes wrong. Our support engineers will usually be available within 24 hours to get the machine back up & running. - it takes a major issue like a coolant escape or damaged compressor to put the machine out of action for longer than a day. Can’t say how well/easily maintained US machines are.


Next_Hurry_5611

Ha! Peasants, I got a McFlurry from McDonalds


my-name-is-puddles

So does it work differently in Asia or something? Because their* ice cream machines are never broken. (I can only vouch for Korea, Indonesia, and Thailand).


HibiKio

I mean, obviously they wouldn't be beholden to the same US based repair company.


my-name-is-puddles

Why's that obvious? No one seems to even know the name of said company off the top of their head, so how are we supposed to know it operates exclusively in the US? McDonald's is obviously in on the scheme, so why's it obvious they wouldn't do the same type of scheme on another continent with either the same or similar company? Contracts exist in Asia, so why doesn't McDonald's have the same type of contractual obligations for ice cream machine repair there?


Aadsterken

Yeah, saw a yt video where they investigated this. Turn out the exact same machine is sold to and used by other chains. Those machine will come up with an error message, employee will check documentation amd fix the issue. But only for mcdonalds the software that writes the text in the interface has been changed to alway mention a mechanic is required to solve the issue. And iirc its also programmed to not fully finish the cleaning cycle just so the "call a mechanic" message pops up again. What a terrible company to work with. Saw a report about the bussiness model of subway and the complaints their franchisees have. That is even worse. They lie, get the franchisee into having a loan to startup a branch and then let another franchisee open closeby to just take away the first ones income. Most of the times they are also being reviewed by one of their competition who can just close down the bussiness and then buy the location for way less than the loan. Its a complete scam


Pristinefix

McDonald's only banned it because the company that makes the machine sued McDonald's for messing about with proprietary stuff


New_Sage_ForgeWorks

This is so obvious I don't know why I hadn't realized it. Probably cause I haven't eaten at an MD's in like 5 years.


Traveler555

>in fact some marketed a pirated tool to let the average employee fix it, so McDonald's banned it. And didn't that cause a lawsuit between the company who owned the machines and McDonalds? https://www.cnet.com/culture/mcdonalds-faces-900m-lawsuit-from-ice-cream-machine-repair-startup/


Andthentherewasbacon

THANK YOU! I tried watching that YouTube video but it was about 39 minutes longer than it needed to be.


cjay2002

This may be true, but I’ll be damned if that McFlurry didn’t break at a certain time of night and be working perfectly the next day, many times. I guess some of those McD’s must have the licensed repair guy living around the corner.


Akuno-

There is a short doku on it on youtube. I think it has something to do with cleaning sycles which starts at anytime, oftan trought the day and you can't stop or change it.


Eucalyptuse

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Taylor_Company


bazhvn

That’s shitty. The Carpigiani’s machine is much more straight forward, 14 days: disassemble the parts, wash, sanitize, reassemble, refill mixes. Work flawlessly.


ThePowerOfDreams

This requires training, or else you make people sick. The McD approach does not require skilled labour to prevent that outcome, thus protecting their brand.


bazhvn

Those are actually clients’ duties. Though we (also fastfood joint, not McD tho) indeed dont usually train everyone to do it, often just shift managers or any employee who’s willing to.


gabrielmaster123

Also many of the share holders in McDonald are also shareholders in the repair company that all McDonald's locations have a contract with, that's why they choose machines that break often


flashen

It's fraud bro, someone linked a youtube vid in the thread


Cney1983

Have a friend who was a manager at McDonald's. Can confirm this is true.


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Lucas_Steinwalker

No its actually this whole crazy conspiracy where Mcdonalds is in cahoots with the manufacturer of the ice cream machines to help them make a crazy amount of money off of repairs and block franchise owners from getting basic information about how to maintain and repair the systems themselves. I forget the reason why McDonalds has a vested reason to do this but I saw [this crazy Youtube video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrDEtSlqJC4) about it.


Fun1892

The biggest problem is that it gives you an error code but does not tell you what the error means most the times. https://youtu.be/SrDEtSlqJC4


RynVR

What is even worse is that the guy who created his own manual and started giving them out to employees got fired. McDonalds wants you to hire THEIR repair guy.


CodeCadaver

Ah, much like Microsoft.


ElfLord01

I heard because the ice cream machine is maintained by a single company worldwide


CarmineFields

My parents owned a McDonalds franchise for a number of years. The ice cream machine would overheat super easy. You couldn’t really “fix” it. You just couldn’t use it until it froze up again. Anything more than 2-3 cones or sundaes in a row and the ice cream would turn liquidy. It got worse when they introduced McFlurries.


yaebone1

You’re better off, biggest bacteria magnet in the whole place next to the soda fountains, and that includes the toilet seats.


[deleted]

YOU'LL GET YOUR HANDS WASHED WHEN YOU FIX THIS DAMN ICE CREAM MACHINE


nrith

https://mcbroken.com


Santiago2BuenosAires

I stop at McDonalds about once a month for a large fry, no salt + cone. I've *never* been turned away because the machine wasn't working. I live in the midwest.


FoxCQC

https://youtu.be/SrDEtSlqJC4


rmumford

They aren't allowed too - that is the funny part to the entire story.


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Mapletables

Because it was likely a joke and they didn't wanna actually give them a bad rating for it


_generic_user

They don’t even try to fix it


xbmdx1

I live in Saudi Arabia and I have never once was told the machine wasn't working, is it a USA problem?


EthanIver

Actually it's not ice cream they're dispensing...


forrnerteenager

Because that's the name of a guest


cowlinator

"Rarest" is a beautiful Swahili name that means "most unusual".


kaylorradel

Ladis Washerum is also one.


forrnerteenager

That's a made up name, what's your real name?


FakingItSucessfully

"Response from the Owner" Lol home slice so stupid, Ronald McDonald himself showed up to handle it.


lenikuf

franchise moment


7thhokage

Fight fire with fire; clown vs clown.


Salawat66

Too bad Ronald's wit was no match for the blessed pupper. (I think this is Ken M., btw?).


unclejarjarbinks

Why did they give them 5 stars?


krastevitsa

To give a good rating but make joke.


handbrak3

Because this is peak meme review energy


4543wretng

To make it obvious it's a troll:)) I wrote the obvious, happy?


Tsmart

Because if you say something funny and leave 1 star you're a dick. If you say something funny and leave 5 stars, it's more acceptable


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TheNiceCritic

You copied him, but added a the. I’m very confused


unassuminglawrence

You copied him, but added a the. I’m the very confused


Futuristick-Reddit

You copied the him, but added a the. I’m the very confused


fork_yuu

I couldn't tell from the pixels and thought that it might have been 1 star and rest is shaded out


Educational-Year3146

As a mcdonalds employee, theyre failing us too. Location I work at went from 4.3 stars to 3.2 stars in 1 year. All due to one general management change.


User001991

Well are you washing customer's hands or not?


YES_McRib_is_BACK

I call it “Ronald’s hand job”. No judgement.


User001991

Can I get a McRub? Yeah, you heard me correctly.


YES_McRib_is_BACK

You sure can. No homo.


SassafrasNotFound

Rarest pupper :0


KingDiamondsMakeup

goodest boi paitently waits


The_Coolest_Sock

incredible rare


Salawat66

All hail the most blessed pupper


SassafrasNotFound

Huh last time I checked my comment it was 10 upvotes What mf downvoted it to be 9 downvotes?? Goodest bois don’t deserve to be downvoted (Not trying to karmafarm idgaf about karma anyway)


Crusty_Ch33se

Interesting…


EarlGrey_Picard

Interesting...


SDutra

Interesting...


mikoiscoool

Interesting…


BioTheAnomaly

Failing… like my dads heart after eating there


RedditSnowflakeMod

The path exacts a heavy toll...


Cust2020

He is right tho, the sign says Employees must wash hands.


6ada6ing

Technically truth


Magicciti365

They need retire. Service is Trash


DeaconFrostedFlakes

r/notkenm


Samheadbangersball

Above all, I give you 5 stars for your working ice cream machine


howaboutthisnameford

Fast food workers hardly wash their own hands.


GZH_WAZOWSKI

Interesting


Independence_1991

Well played my friend…. Well Played….


Kulladar

I've met 4 McDonalds franchise owners in my life and every one of them looked like a clone of Joe Biden.


goatqualify

The lack of education, is hurting the nation.


[deleted]

This is not a joke… I once went to chick fil a and I was going to wash my hands at a sink that poured water out when it sensed the right movement. I couldn’t get the sensor to start pouring out the water and a chick fil a employee came in, noticed my struggle, and helped me wash my hands. TLDR: Chick fil a employees washed my hands for me


Diligent_Nature

My local supermarket had a sign in the Men's room that was quite specific. It said "All employees must wash your hands". Imagine having to wait for all employees to wash your hands.


anhtar

Had me there for a sec. Initially thought it was a run of the mill Karen complaint. Then I saw the sub it was under. Had to read it again a few times to find the ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|facepalm)


shark25000

"Godzilla had a stroke reading this and died"


godzillahavinastroke

Thats why I'm here.


Lunaphase

Welp.


FlihpFlorp

Holy shit


godzillahavinastroke

Where there is strokes, I come to make them persist on.


Melaninkasa

And it's not a new account lol perfect


just-call-me-ash

/r/beetlejuicing


FrothyBroth23

wait, what? for real?


X-ProOG-X

The guys at McDonald's are very nice when my mom takes me to McDonald's the employee there is really nice and helps me in the bathroom and we play games there


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Salawat66

My blessed grandson makes 2 figures working in one of those kiosks


DaGalaxy66

Emplüjs Musvashends


Geosanchu

Why IS that sign there tho? Like personally, while acquiring my hygiene passport, I was taught to wash hands everytime I switch the ingredient I handle no matter where I work so do y'all just not have that?


hereforthereads123

State law typically


Worldsahellscape19

That’s so funny/dumb it’s great


Digital_Individual

*Insert Miranda Cosgrove meme here*


captain_otsutsuki

"emplois... Muswashands" reminds me of The dictator lmao


JuliusSz

oh c' ://#£ :4'3_ :zzzxc


newkyular

That review should properly attribute the joke to Colbert's book: "America again: we becoming the greatness we never weren't."


ElfLord01

Bold of you to assume their employees can read


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YES_McRib_is_BACK

I see it has the sauce of Ronald.


bluehvirbitch

they always wash my hands


waresmarufy

Lmaooo


Ok-Conversation-9982

If employee is busy, please wash your own hands.


Salawat66

Socialism!


DailySmoker_158

Bless his soul but he sure has a point! Sign is a sign!😂


IcyFoundation2865

very... very... interesting...


borax37

“Employees must wash their hands.”


TheDongerNeedsFood

Lol!


RealPunyParker

Customer is always right


youdoitimbusy

Can I interest you in a middle management position?


BoltsandBucsFan

And you’re surprised?


Endulos

This is the kind of thing that results in weird rules or overly specific signs being put up. Assuming of course it's not taken like the joke it was meant to be.


AK-159

Interested


BoltTusk

I heard they wash lettuce with their feet though at Burger King


29again

Ken M takes on McDonald's


huhIguess

I'm now having serious doubts about the venues I've visited where there's a well dressed man in the corner of the bathroom handing out towels, squirting soap, and offering cologne.


fruitcakefriday

Oh hey, so I was in nyc the other month and noticed these signs in all the restaurant bathrooms. I’m from the Uk and never seen them there…is it law they have to display these signs in the USA? It seems odd to me…like, well everyone should wash their hands of course, but there’s a ton of other stuff employees also should/shouldn’t do but I don’t see them. “Employees mustn’t spit in peoples food”? “Employees must give exact change”? Why washing hands in particular?


CzarcasmRules

Common sense is only common to those with sense


Hot_Independence886

I liked how the the person who responded actually seemed like he was considering it


717NateSwag

Maybe they were waiting for him to get out of the bathroom


Physical-Armadillo12

Made my day


eyecandy99

Ye. Add a McRim on the side too :)


Justizz707

"Interesting" ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


SpankWeehner

That wouldn’t have happened at McDowells.


BlueRedditWizard123

That’s something I’d say 10/10 owner lmao