T O P
QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/JustanAsianguy88, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


PhyllaciousArmadillo

That went 0-100 real quick. Then it broke light speed getting to 1 billion.


Janky_Pants

That shit was ludicrous speed.


Anonymika666

you mean 1 morbillion*


AgniousPrime

If you traced her family tree with wool, you'd end up with a sweater.


Trenticor

and a couple socks as extras


Acrobatic-End-8353

Leave room for the extra toes.


MacksNotCool

This family tree is a hotwheels track. I'm from Alabama but this is beyond my pay grade


AgniousPrime

Their DNA probably looks like a pack of Instant Noodles at this point


rushdelivery34

"I'm from Alabama but this is above my pay grade" Totally underrated comment


Ya_boi_SDG

Ok so if her granny is also her bruncles' grandmother that would mean her grandmother or grandfather slept and got pregnant with their already born (hopefully adult) son or daughter resulting in the OP's or bruncles birth. Now it all comes down to who shot out of where considering that the op refers to her grandmother as granny and not mother I am going to assume the initial grandfather and grandmother had at least one daughter who got pregnant from the grandfather at least twice, unless there's another daughter then once each. Leading to the birth of the OP from her mother and her grandDAD same case for the bruncle. Now the bruncle has slept with the granny making their child the OP's aunt or uncle, cousin, and niece or nephew. But no matter how you break it down it is an oppressively depressing match up to consider.


Limp-Nothing2467

Should be under r/theydidthemath


mggirard13

They are the Ptolomy's


WarlordTejas

r/BrandNewSentence


myfaceaplaceforwomen

r/rareinsults


MeinNameIstBaum

That is hilarious.


fistfullofpubes

Most people's family are a cube. Hers is a tesserect.


Im_Ashe_Man

I couldn't follow the inbred family tree. *edit* - My highest rated comment is about incest. Keep making me proud reddit!


GrouchyRelative588

Doesn't sound like a tree, so much as just a... branch.


KJBenson

A Christmas wreath


Spiyder1

a bush


Low_Commission9477

A bush on fire with god screaming noooo


Spotted_ascot_races

Just a fucking vine wrapping around itself irl


JediJan

A shrubbery!


Sir-Clout-the-5th

With a path! A path!


JediJan

Ni Ni Ni!


Sir-Clout-the-5th

Ekke ekke ekke p-TANG zoo-BOING ^arousa


Prankishbear

But not too expensive!


EquipmentKind7855

Guys lets stop making fun of the family weed


Sibz_Playz_YT

The family grass blade


GrimReality200

Hahaha don't insult weed please


EquipmentKind7855

Oh my i didnt even realize i was insulting weed i deeply apologize for this inconvenience to weed’s reputation. I promise to never do this again.


senpaidaddyfather

Ultron warned us


timko20677

Thanos was right


SylvesterWatts

A lot of bushes…


kahrahtay

The family tumbleweed


Phoenix92321

The Habsburg want to know your location


Fernando_357

A pretzel


Eviltechnomonkey

Is it even a branch or did they somehow manage to just have a single root.


GrouchyRelative588

By God you're right. Simple propagation from one root stock. We must alert the scientists!


DesmadreGuy

Could be a branch. Or a stump. But not a tree. A tree without a root ... is a log.


Legendguard

It's like the tree equivalent of a power strip plugged into itself


stefanomsala

A stump


silviablue23

A house plant!


TimelessGlassGallery

Family net


Umberto_W

*circle


Stahlwisser

A circle


t-rexasexaurus

Grandma had a son with an outside the family man Then she had a son with the first son. The first or second son, doesn’t matter, has a kid with grandma, and that’s the wife. Now the wife marries the first or second son previously mentioned that DIDN’T get married. They would somehow end up cousins/uncle-aunt OH! And grandma would also have to be mom in this instance


No_Fee7005

Impressive that you were able to put that together! It hurt my brain trying to untangle that knot. Or do you just know because you’re a member of the family?


BOMSwasHERE

He might be a fellow r/CrusaderKings player


technofederalist

Ah. Feudal incest simulator. Excellent game.


Doom721

Underrated comment of this thread. I don't even play and it's the best meme


floswamp

What’s more impressive is that grandma is only 46!


Jaitleytownsend

That was my thought, if grandma is 46, you'd figure she had a child let's say at 17 which means that child is now 29 by the time gma is 46, correct? So let's say child had kid also at 17, so op at time of writing this post is 12.... okay I can see this happening.


Safe-Jicama-9095

He is for sure


MurderToes

I thought it was a bit simpler Man and woman have a son and daughter (man is her father) Man has sex with daughter (her sister, not mentioned) and has her She marries her (half?) brother, who is technically her uncle and they both have the same grandma Husband/brother/Uncle bangs their shared grandma Fuck this is not simpler. Incest is complicated


whistleridge

The math doesn’t work. She’s 46. Let’s say grandma has sex at 14, gives birth at 15. Then birth again at 17. That’s dad and uncle. Then let’s say dad has her at 15. Grandma is now 32. She’d have to be married at 14. It’s not legally or biologically impossible but it’s phenomenally unlikely.


hipratham

r/Theydidthemath


holy-reddit-batman

Oh I knew a woman who got pregnant at 14. Her daughter got pregnant at 13, making her a grandma reeaallly young 😳.


MurderToes

Given what we know so far, I’m not counting anything outside the realm of possibility


whistleridge

That’s just it. We don’t KNOW anything. We have what we’ve been told, and that’s not the same thing.


SocialNetwooky

so ... basically the Old Testament?


That_Jonny

Does the ops mother have to be the grandma? Because of the brothe?, assuming it is a half-brother. Then the mother could actually have brought new genes in the family pool and it would make sense to call the grandma grandma and not mother


Tian_Lord23

"Incest is complicated" that made me laugh so hard.


BertMacGyver

I had to [draw a very crude diagram](https://imgur.com/gallery/g7Ge4Ss) to help figure it out myself. It's nearly there except her gran is also not his gran. I'm not sure if what shes said is possible and if it is, I'm not sure I want to spend any more time thinking about it. Edit: It hit me as soon as I posted, I read your one wrong and thought there was another uncle. Can't blame me for that though. [Here's the actual one. ](https://imgur.com/gallery/68kPMv1)


WeeBabySeamus

Thank you for this. I needed the visual. Also holy shit this is gross. Grandma banging 3 generations


spsteve

I like how you curved some of them lol... I have to laugh or I will cry... this has to be bs.


Environmental_Ad2701

You missed the part where her brother fucked her mom


t-rexasexaurus

Well, er grandma is also her mom so it’s kind of implied


Aedalas

No actual incest here but this story about my cousin always fucked me up. Name changed because reasons. My cousin Casey married a guy named Bill Smith Jr. They had a kid and decided to carry on the naming scheme with their son, but shortly after Bill Smith III was born they got divorced and she married the man she was cheating on Jr with. His father, Bill Smith Sr. So now Jr is not only the thirds father but also his brother, his mom is also his grandma and his grandpa is his dad. I think he might even be his own uncle? There's probably some other weird ass relations you could come up with there but them all having the same damn name is just the icing on the cake imo.


Impressive_Change593

and that is why you NEVER give your children your name (and your parents name should be pretty far down on the list as well)


Environmental_Ad2701

At this point I think it would be more practical to do a venn diagram instead of picking individual connections between members of that family


Toasted_Bagels_R_Gud

family tumbleweed?


TankIntelligent3392

Yes definitely tumbleweed


likwidsylvur

I honestly tried, lost interest after brother uncle


SoloSurvivor889

Bruncle. I wish someone with more genealogical experience could explain this.


YeName7

Wonder if this should be a new family name Bruncle


opus3535

Sing it like a square dance song


BenderWiggum

https://youtu.be/D0xnx1Q3Kqo?t=48


garvin1313

I think the grandma is having sex with a few men, who just so happen to be related to each other


Appropriate-Rise2199

Just seems lazy. Like horny but to lazy to download an app so she just calls out from the bedroom and fucks the first family member that opens the door. Lazy family really. Like royals, you know?


thatWas-unexpected

They are taragaryens


shadow_1412

Habsburg be like


Breeze7206

Family moss ball


Brogetarot

Cuz it grows like potatoes.


Frietzakj3s

Family cobweb


Environmental_Ad2701

Bitch that ain't tree that's a god damn tumble weed


IHateEditedBgMusic

I really tried, I couldn't make sense of it either. Honestly I don't understand why she's unhappy with her setup.


marrin91

More like a family circle


Sloppy_Waffles2

Family tree? More like a straight line


BallSmickEnergy

So what I can gather - Top level - Grandma Next level down- Her Mum and a Guy Next level down - They had (at least two boys) Husband (brother/Uncle) and Her Dad Next level down - Her and her husband (brother/Uncle) So the Husband is technically a half brother and granny is a triple header (the Husbands grandmother, great grandmother and ex misso). Yikes.


V3N0M7117

It’s looks like a ladder


Lendyman

I'm trying to figure out ages here. Grandma is 46? If we assume the granddaughter is at least 18, which is legal age to marry without parental consent in most states, grandma had her daughter at age 14. And her daughter had hers at 14 too. It could be that the granddaughter married younger. But even so, it seems likely at least one, maybe more than one of those women had a baby at the age of 14 or younger. Literally kids raising kids, which would explain the incredible disfunction going on here.


appleslip

Yes, but even in the Lord of the Flies, they just murdered each other, they didn’t start banging everyone at the family reunion.


deltaruin01

Favorite comment lmao


ianrc1996

Well there were only boys there


Apprehensive-Rip-296

If it was a mixed comprehensive in LOTF not a boys school it might have been a bit more chill


throweraccount

Nah it would have devolved into fighting over the pussy.


gardenmud

Not if it was an even-ish split - then it'd just be Survivor. Or whatever those shows are.


throweraccount

That's never the case man, you get greedy people and not all the girls gonna look good. You also have dudes that don't all look good. You got the fat kid who died. They're gonna fight for the hot ones. It's gonna be just as bad. Also the girls gonna get periods and get catty. Boys killed each other, adding girls isn't gonna make it any better.


ouzo84

Yeah I was working on the basis that both the grandma and the mother had kids when then were 15, which would make the daughter around 16, which could easily be a family consensual wedding, especially if two generations of mothers are used to having family from a young age. Gonna have to break out the crayons to work out the family bush.


Apostecker

The family *bush*, omg!


Chewhuahuas

probably the grandma fucked her daughter's husband, resulting in the op's husband/brother/uncle, then fucked him resulting in the niece/nephew/stepchild. or she fucked her own son instead of son in law if we really wanna go full incest on this one.


theundercoverpapist

Lord of the Blue Lagoon


arbitrageME

literally Lolita


DrSayas

The small town I’m from has a running joke about “ grandmas” . It’s when the child of a teen pregnancy , has a teen pregnancy so the grandma is 30 or under. It’s sadly not as rare as it should be….


robertobaggio20

I once had a woman aged 32 on benefits (welfare) shout at me over the phone for assuming that the new child in the household which she claimed child benefit for was hers and not her 16 yr old daughter's. 32 yr old incredulously: "Why wouldn't you think I'm the grandma?!"


DarthGayAgenda

When your family tree is a Mobius strip


Regulusx1337

For a second there, I thought I read Morbius. Both are gut-wrenching concepts, regardless.


SquidMilkVII

its morbin time *becomes single-sided loop*


jim_longplank

Might Morbin Grandma Bangers!


just_fish_ass

Morbius, strip... *\*pulls out his fuckin' Morb and starts Morbin' all over the club\**


Heequwella

This comment has me so morbed rn.


Sundowns_Gaming

Me when the morbin:


breadcrumb1996

one of my favourite songs is titled "mobius", but now whenever i look it up only morbius results show up. this movie ruined my life


godsperfectidi0t

r/unexpectedmorbius


Winter_Tree815

His husband really morbed inside granny


Paranormalsarthak

IT'S MORBIN TIME


BertMacGyver

[Not too far off](https://imgur.com/gallery/68kPMv1)...


shroomigator

We need advanced mathematics to figure this one out But, bonus points for "plow my granny"


polycannaheathenmom

I think it supposed to be "*our* granny"


vzakharov

r/suddenlycommunist


SaffronHoneysuckle

It would be her granny and his mom right? But his granny in law.


arczclan

So her mum has to have her own dad’s baby (OP’s maternal grandfather) to make a child that is; - her brother; another child from her parent - her uncle; sibling to one of her parents - share the same grandma; their parent’s mother. Unless they aren’t the same grandma, so it could be that her mum fucked their father in law, which is better I guess


CowboyBlob

Family tree looks like a Celtic Knot?


Mcmenger

The Tree is growing a basket without the need for any weaving


t-rexasexaurus

Grandma had a son with an outside the family man Then she had a son with the first son. The first or second son, doesn’t matter, has a kid with grandma, and that’s the wife. Now the wife marries the first or second son previously mentioned that DIDN’T get married. No it would be cousins as well as aunt/uncle


TooCupcake

Wife is born from first son. Second son is the husband. - He is her brother because the first son is both their fathers. - He is her uncle because he is the brother of her father (both have granny as mom) - They have the same grandma because granny is their father’s mother - Granny is his ex because granny seems to fancy her sons.


some-random-name-123

'GrandMa' and 'GrandPa' had a kid ( 'Mom' ) Mom had her ( 'Daughter' ) with outside, unknown guy. She ( 'Daughter' ) married her 'Husband' who is the illegitimate kid of 'GrandPa' and 'Mom'. So 'Husband' is both 'Mom's kid so her brother and 'Grandpa's kid so her uncle ( brother of mom as he is the kid of grandpa.... ). As 'Mom' mother is 'GrandMa', husband has 'GrandMa' as a grandparent =)


Any-Vermicelli-2056

*banjo music plays in the background*


Chode_of_Justice

Paddle faster


HuffnDobak

Squeal like a pig, boy


hanging_with_epstein

You got a purty mouth, boy


AnybodyOdd9509

Noooo!!! Not Indiana Jones!!!


Zephyr_The_Bard

🎶[I’m my own grandpa](https://youtu.be/eYlJH81dSiw) 🎶


AraAraSenpai6969

![gif](giphy|112YCPfP8Tu156)


Swordsmasterguy

MAURY MAURY MAURY!


Crazy-Entertainer242

There’s an 8.008135% chance that baby will be a cyclops. Don’t ask about my math, just trust.


Riftonik

As someone generally interested in this kind of crap I can’t seem to remember ever reading about the frequency of cyclops’ in the human species. Is it a thing.. I’m really not in the mood to google this one 😆


Jessy_Kiser

I remember reading an article in Medical News Today a few years ago about human cyclopia. The statistical likelihood of a human baby being born cycloptic is about one in 100,000 or .001% And the vast majority of those are stillborn and those that are left don't survive more than a few hours. I remember them talking about how it's associated with extreme brain abnormality but I can't remember details beyond that. 👍


Riftonik

Thank you, this helped me move on with my day


NL731

* *noise of thousands of sweaty redditors typing sweet home Alabama intensify* *


Peanutbuttercups124

I hate that with all of the incest memes I have to call Bama my birthplace, but it's pretty nice down there. Depending on the time of year. See bama has some good qualities right?


ScrewYouCuzReasons

ugh felt that, raised in AL and the pure amount of incest jokes thrown at me are boring at this point. Though, i can never say i dont miss spending summer days in the creek


Peanutbuttercups124

Man that brings up good memories of just running around in the woods and everything. I used to stay out from dawn to dusk as a kid. Although I would always have ticks and would be soaked by the end of the day. Growing up there, especially in a small town like I did, was great. I hated summer, but also loved it. Im warm natured ao i hated the 100°F days with 95% humidity, but i loved playing and having longer days to play. It's kinda sad I left Bama a year and a half ago for college, and I have so many memories left in that old house down there. I also agree I don't even really care about the jokes anymore it still just kinda rubs me the wrong way you know?


ScrewYouCuzReasons

feel you completely, i just left three months ago to go to a northern state city, where i belonged. definitely dont miss those ticks but playing out with sticks and my dogs were the best part of the summer. the humidity was terrible, but whats a little sweat for fun?


Wulf_kastle

Foreigner here. My only knowledge of alabama comes from pop culture as I don’t actively read up on othr countries and their socio-economic landscapes. Is incest in alabama really as disproportionately high compared to other US states as the memes and jokes portray? Edit: please i mean no offense with this question


ForensicPathology

It seems like when headlines about incest hit reddit, all the comments are like "Roll Tide!", but then when you actually read the article, it's always Kentucky or something


ScrewYouCuzReasons

Actually no, its illegal there. way back when it used to be, much like the rest of the south, but majorly chosen to live by incestuous people.


DeathmetalArgon

I currently live in AL and we make incest jokes about people from Mississippi.


ComplimentLoanShark

There's always a bigger inbred.


NateF474

You have a nephson in law. Luckily there is no incest involved so you don't have to worry about what he'll run over with his squatted truck in about 18 years


Aedalas

>nephson No actual incest here but this story about my cousin always fucked me up. Name changed because reasons. My cousin Casey married a guy named Bill Smith Jr. They had a kid and decided to carry on the naming scheme with their son, but shortly after Bill Smith III was born they got divorced and she married the man she was cheating on Jr with. His father, Bill Smith Sr. So now Jr is not only the thirds father but also his brother, his mom is also his grandma and his grandpa is his dad. I think he might even be his own uncle? There's probably some other weird ass relations you could come up with there but them all having the same damn name is just the icing on the cake imo.


st0pdr0pntr0ll

I'm more interested in hearing about how the relationship between Sr. and Jr. was and is.


Aedalas

Last I knew they were refusing to speak to one another. I was around when it all went down but moved pretty far away shortly after and I haven't stayed in contact with that side of the family much. I do wonder how the kid is going to fare though, that's got to be rough on him.


jason91487

Incest is a game the whole family can play


dangstaB01

Well first off, I drew out the thing and I’m not sure if this is a family tree or Pablo Picasso painting


darthgoats07

Whitaker family 2: electric boogaloo


stickybandit06

Ray: 👀YEEEEE YEEE


badboybalo

They're all one person who has Schizophrenia


d34dstruck

Honestly, probably the best option


Phoenixgaming

Sounds like a playthrough of Crusader Kings! She should just assassinate them all!


touchablechungus

Sounds like a Tom Arnold song.


4beetleslong

At this point im goin to set a sweet home Alabama shortcut on my keyboard


Thunderfight9

Are people just not leaving their houses to meet new people anymore?


northforthesummer

Somebody needs to make a chart or something, my head is spinning


lostbuttplugs

What the dog doin tho..


Automatic-Fishing-64

Incestion.


Supertrinko

Making the assumption that it's the maternal grandmother. So Grandma gave birth to Mom and Aunt. Mom gave birth to Sister and Brother. Brother married Aunt, becoming Uncle, and then married Sister, becoming husband. BrotherUncleHusband then sleeps with Grandma, having Girl. Child is sister's Aunt and Cousin, and brother's Aunt/Daughter. Grandma's Child/Great-grandchild and Mom's Granddaughter/Aunt/Sister. It's basic Alabamanomics.


Cruzifixio

This is beyond HolUp.


AmazinTim

The SATs are harder than I remember.


acemin0014

It be your uncle brother or aunt sister


N_o_o_B_p_L_a_Y_e_R

how old is she n her mother?


TurtleZenn

Grandma has baby at 15, becomes grandma at 30, granddaughter marries at 16. Could even adjust for first two at 14 and the granddaughter could marry at the old age of 18!


MacFluster

r/ShitCrusaderKingsSay


Zubert1990

And…… I am my own grandpa


wkdkngwkr

It sounds funny I know. But it really is so.


NovaCPA85

I’m my own Grandpa!!


tomswait

Don’t tell me. Alabama?


Vajaspiritos

This family is not a tree it's a complete graph


GiganticGamer

Hello Math Teacher, I'm sorry for underestimating you


AngryAssyrian

Wait so how old is her mom then? How old is she? Did her grandma and mom give birth at 15, and she's a 16 year old girl who has an 18 year old boyfriend?


sante_1991

It all gets much worse if you dig in


AngryAssyrian

Exactly, sometimes it's better to not question certain things.


Disgruntlementality

Ah yes, the family… stick?


DubRogers

Burn that tree down, pull out the roots, and salt the earth where it was just to be sure...🙃


ryanmulford

What the Kentucky fried hell.


Goldbolt_2004

Her family tree isn't a wreath. It's a vine that's as tangled as earphones that you haven't pulled out of your bag in 3 months.


WarokOfDraenor

It's so complicated even for an Alabaman.


tim5700

They’re so closely related this could be considered masturbation.


Rana_aurora

[I'm my own grandpa](https://youtu.be/zeIsxXDyjlc)


drj87

Cann someone do some math on this is this physically possible? Edit So thanks Google for telling me this is biologically possible if both generations of women gave birth around 11 - 13 then a grandmother can be 46 and if the granddaughter got married relatively young so in conclusion possible but extremely unlikely


NoAd9581

I got it! It seems that granny has been boning grandpa and pa and grandson(who is also the son of father and the husband of the granddaughter)


RustyEggleston

You are your own grandpa: https://youtu.be/vDrsiGw1FIw


TomDeadMan

Have a family gathering and set the building on fire, no fire escapes necessary. Survivors are optional


jr8787

So much to unpack… Family gatherings must be hell to navigate with needing to remember proper titles.


DemianLoki

Sweet Home Alabama!


Bard2dbone

Is this lyrics from "I Am My Own Grandpa"?


shinyfennec

Alabama Deluxe package