By - beastmodeChadF13
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The man was all thumbs
That clumsy bitch
Is this an actual excerpt? If so, how high was the writer when they wrote the book?
More than likely not high at all. The whole book is horribly written like this. One of my favorite things about this book has been all the posts I've seen since the beginning about how badly written it is. I could live for a million years, and never understand how this book got so popular. It was just a bad fanfic of sorts or something that is supposedly based off twilight... actually... the more I think of it, the only explanation I have is that the author was high as fuck, and all the fans that read the book and liked it was high as fuck. Either that, or they all didn't make it past elementary/primary school.
It’s essentially a porn novel, if that makes it any clearer
Okay. But you never confirmed if this is a real excerpt or not lol
Well I've never actually read the book, the most I've done is picked it up and opened to a random page just to see if the writing really was as bad as I've seen people say it was. Looking at a few random pages I figured out it was, so this very well could actually be in it.
Sex sells 🤷
Came here to ask that. I never read them and, if God is benevolent, I never will. This is in the books?
Honestly, I now want to read them.
The real question is……. How high am I right now?…..
Even more fun to copy/paste it into a text-to-speach app.
This is so hilariously disgusting. Marmite motorway is definitely going in my personal vocabulary.
“What is this?”
…That’s the only quote on the page that made sense to me.
“There was love piss oozing from his cunt plunger”
Clicked it for fun. Can't share that shit but I can say the creativity astonished me. "sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee". Comedy fucking gold right there.
Wtf did I just read
Found them lying around thumbwhere
There's Thumbthing about Mary
Ah yes, 50 Shades narrated by Mike Tyson.
Looks like thumbody’s been hoarding thumbs
He must have held a thumb drive
The real treasure was the thumbs that were jammed in our mouths along the way.
From the thumb box obviously. Isn’t that where we all get our thumbs from?
I keep mine in a thumb jar.
mr fancy pants over here, with your fancy pants "thumb jar".
I, u/The_Rock_Hunter, will have you know, i keep my thumbs in a soggy paper bag with the rest of my harvest! LIKE GUD INTENDED
Obviously he got them from his thumb collection.
That thumbsly bitch
Those other ones aren’t thumbs…
Note to self: 'women love severed thumbs in the mouth.'
SpongeBob is sex god confirmed
I'm gonna need to see parts 1-8
And my axe!
Wait a second that’s 3 thumbs in total is this man practicing sorcery to the stake he shall go
It's a little known part of fifty shades lore that he was known as the thumb bandit. He never killed anyone, but he did take their thumbs.