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QualityVote

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Feta__Cheese

The man was all thumbs


xNo_Name_Brandx

That clumsy bitch


dcisgold

Is this an actual excerpt? If so, how high was the writer when they wrote the book?


Nozerone

More than likely not high at all. The whole book is horribly written like this. One of my favorite things about this book has been all the posts I've seen since the beginning about how badly written it is. I could live for a million years, and never understand how this book got so popular. It was just a bad fanfic of sorts or something that is supposedly based off twilight... actually... the more I think of it, the only explanation I have is that the author was high as fuck, and all the fans that read the book and liked it was high as fuck. Either that, or they all didn't make it past elementary/primary school.


KetchupKing05

It’s essentially a porn novel, if that makes it any clearer


FadedFox1

Okay. But you never confirmed if this is a real excerpt or not lol


Nozerone

Well I've never actually read the book, the most I've done is picked it up and opened to a random page just to see if the writing really was as bad as I've seen people say it was. Looking at a few random pages I figured out it was, so this very well could actually be in it.


MaltaNsee

Sex sells 🤷


SeniorBeing

Came here to ask that. I never read them and, if God is benevolent, I never will. This is in the books?


JoshGooch

Honestly, I now want to read them.


Mikeharding17503

The real question is……. How high am I right now?…..


turboturkey9

yes!


tobleroneyactual

Enjoy. http://www.fiftyshadesgenerator.com/ Even more fun to copy/paste it into a text-to-speach app.


acejay1

This is so hilariously disgusting. Marmite motorway is definitely going in my personal vocabulary.


JoshGooch

“What is this?” …That’s the only quote on the page that made sense to me.


ARC_3pic

“There was love piss oozing from his cunt plunger”


CaliCrateRicktastic

Clicked it for fun. Can't share that shit but I can say the creativity astonished me. "sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee". Comedy fucking gold right there.


Upvotoui

Wtf did I just read Edit:r/riskyclicks


PrinceRobotVI

Found them lying around thumbwhere


daschundtof

There's Thumbthing about Mary


Holl0wayTape

Ah yes, 50 Shades narrated by Mike Tyson.


DrBrightest

Looks like thumbody’s been hoarding thumbs


KhaleesiDog

He must have held a thumb drive


TravisPlaysGames

The real treasure was the thumbs that were jammed in our mouths along the way.


PulpyEnlightenment

And another!


Bruhfactor21

From the thumb box obviously. Isn’t that where we all get our thumbs from?


The_Rock_Hunter

I keep mine in a thumb jar.


dahbakons_ghost

mr fancy pants over here, with your fancy pants "thumb jar". I, u/The_Rock_Hunter, will have you know, i keep my thumbs in a soggy paper bag with the rest of my harvest! LIKE GUD INTENDED


RuralFlamingo

Obviously he got them from his thumb collection.


specifylength

đź‘Ť


4leo_Avolkswagon

That thumbsly bitch


RealisticEmploy3

Those other ones aren’t thumbs…


Funbucket_537

Note to self: 'women love severed thumbs in the mouth.'


UFO-1970TV

![gif](giphy|3o7abGQa0aRJUurpII)


Laugh_at_Warren

SpongeBob is sex god confirmed


gloomypasta

I'm gonna need to see parts 1-8


iamthesquirrelmaster

And my axe!


itsallatest77

Morethumberland


jakethediesel89

![gif](giphy|3o7abGQa0aRJUurpII)


Reasonable_Ad4927

Wait a second that’s 3 thumbs in total is this man practicing sorcery to the stake he shall go


CaliCrateRicktastic

It's a little known part of fifty shades lore that he was known as the thumb bandit. He never killed anyone, but he did take their thumbs.