Put it in rice.
Gamer girl rice
69/10 with rice
With rice ofc
6.9ing is when you’re 69ing with a girl and she bites the tip of your member off.
6.9 is good sex interrupted by a period
A sword is meant to get bloody!
Live by the sword...
Think with your sword and they'll be plenty of sheaths around
Put down a towel
6._9 that’s 6.9 with a towel
why would free lube interrupt anything
Rice cakes r/ricecakes
Either that's a nice subreddit about rice cakes or it's a subreddit about asian ass
The former it seems
NSFW r/rice_cakes I got you fam
I love reddit
A blessing of infinite happiness I bestow upon you my friend as you have brought to me.
Uncle Ben’s and boom 💥
You have the greyscale
ayy only one thing to do now
Give it to everyone?
Anybody got dragon glass?
Dragon deez nuts across broken glass
Hate to break it to you but this is Level 3 cooties. Nobody listens in elementary school.
He didn’t get the cooties shot and it shows
Cootie shot is inoculation against incidental contact and smooching only. Prolonged exposure to female genitalia will result in increasingly severe cases of 'cooties' the longer you remain exposed.
Eventually, your independent thought shuts down. If your exposure stems from a single committed partner, your life and livelihood become increasingly focused on her well being and happiness. If your exposure is more varied the cooties condition eventually becomes "manwhorism". If your exposure is sufficiently direct, it may even result in a parasitic infection of the female that has the potential to completely change your life.
Partake at your own risk, gentlemen.
Has it been properly tested? What is in it and can I replace it with ivermectin instead?
Doctor, how much longer does he have to live?
Edit: I need units, people! I guess at this point, it doesn't really matter because he's expired. It was the final countdown!
His body, his choice
Consider me skeptical about the efficacy of the circle circle dot dot method.
Hard to keep a consistent lesson plan together between active shooters.
I thought reading the comments would make me feel better…. They didn’t
Not with THAT attitude.
Its scares me
My wife works at a dermatology office. She said the highlight of her day was someone calling in about their penis skin peeling off a couple days after unprotected sex.
… how/why does that happen?
He gained a level so it had to moult. Then the larger penis head could emerge.
Like a fucking cocoon. Penis evolved into penifly!
I laughed at this harder than I should have.
PENIFLY uses JIZZSHOT.
A critical hit!
You got impregnated! -99skill, -99 freedom
Penifly loses 99 money and 99 freedom as well as recoil
I dunno. That’s some ER shit not dermatology
I assume its the same scenario, leaving penis in overnight, the moisture in the skin prbly get overloaded and the become swollen and then started to peel off very easily.
These are just my assumptions tho
like a homeless diabetic taking off his trenchfoot shoe?
Sweet Jeeeeeeeeeeesus in heaven, why do I read the comments?
same I have read this comment and yet I am tempted to scroll down further, the lower you get the worse the comments get
I am currently still scrolling
Have you read the jolly rancher story
Edit: link to an archive of it. I will warn you, some things cannot be un-read. This is basically the two girls one cup of Reddit
This made me instantly nauseous. Thanks for the reminder
Like eating a bird's nest full of bacon grease
It cost you 0$ to say that.
Last time that happened to me I jerked off with Elmer's glue to stick onto the dead skin and jerked it off
That is beyond disturbing but I still couldn’t stop laughing!
OTC ointment and it went away completely.
Dick disappearing ointment? Just like that, one week later, dickless?
Haha! This happened to my ex husband! While we were married, we moved from Texas to Alaska. I flew, while pregnant, with our toddler to Alaska and he drove our vehicle. He arrived with a red, very unhappy looking dick, skin peeling off.. Wanted me to have sex with it.
Nooooo. I told him to see a doctor about it first because clearly he picked up an STD on the way. After seeing the doctor, he got medicine and cream of some kind (which he hid from me - no idea what they were) and tried telling me it was none of my business what he picked up from a toilet seat in Canada lolol
"What were you doing fucking a toilet seat? No wonder it was coming apart at the seams afterward"
Anyways, I divorced him.
Holy fuck you dodged a bullet. STD's really are no joke
*ESPECIALLY when pregnant* -I’ve actually seen them cause blindness in a baby
You know what they say - you *can* get an STD from a toilet seat.
But you don’t.
Wait did you ever find out what it actually was? Also sorry he was so secretive love
Not a clue. Iirc, I just began referring to it as his dick-molting disease.
That is an amazing name lmao, I'm glad you can move past it though
Short for Richard Rottencock
What the hell
So was it actually from STD?
I'm gonna say: clearly, yes. Why else be sketchy af about it?
Buuuuut, I wasn't at the doctor appointment, did not see the meds, and heard no confession. So, in a court of law (or Reddit), I have no proof to say I'm correct.
>a couple days after unprotected sex.
🤷🏼 a belt sander?
I think your emoji’s frown is appropriate.
What the fuck
I was going to read the comments, but now I don’t think I should
I’ve come for your pickle
oh no not the pickle
Edit: well, good morning reddit, thanks for everything and your usual stuff ppl say. Y'all have a great day
This one got me. Well done.
Oh my god!!
Reach the end of the maze finger
Someone forgot to blow the trench whistle for his finger.
Well, on that note…goodnight.
Try restarting it
Did you try unplugging it & plugging it back in?
Soak it in cider.
I see what you did there
Thanks to you I read it again and got the joke...
Dicken‘s Cider should work?
Looks like something off Snowpiercer
Wetpiercer, it's like Snowpiercer but it's just a flooded world with water that make things extremely wet really fast
More like Hoe-piercer
Put it in her ass to get the color back then suck on it to get the wrinkles out. Trust me done it a hundred times.
Oh no, I’m not falling for this one again
I need your pfp where did you find it sussy spamton
I don’t know…
A man of culture...
Why do you look like me?
Yeah real fucked up and all but the original image is from a guy who got his finger stuck in a beer bottle
Mad I had to scroll this far, thank you for explaining
This finger looks like uncooked ramen noodles!
more like soggy ones
It looks like the mold that grows on ramen after 3 days
Normal. One of my mates did this with his cock.
In my ass
Captain aqua ass over here
Edit: why is this the one comment of mine that blows up? lol
That’s a beautiful sentence you’ve just created, I needed this. Thank you.
I love Reddit sometimes 💀
..... did you remember to wear socks?
What if the socks are thigh high, individually toed, and rainbow striped? Is it still straight? Please answer, this is an emergency
Dude got Sukuna’s finger
Enough of the durability test, now the taste test
Dude found god mode glitch, he can eat it and re-heal it and eat it again for more power
Ribbed for her pleasure
Bro. what the fuck.
The skin is oversaturated. Pretty much like if your in the pool too long and your hands and feet prune up.
Actually, your skin doesn't get wrinkled in the pool because of water soaking, it's a response from the nervous system that causes the blood vessels to shrink.
There are documented cases in which persons that have nerve damage at their fingers don't get pruney skin at those fingers.
It is believed this may be an evolutionary adaptation, pruney skin helps us get a better grip of objects under water.
🌈 the more you know⭐⭐⭐
The more times you can start a sentence with Actually…
He got extra grip in the cooch
cooch ain't goin nowhere
Will it turn back to normal?
Yeah, in about a day it'll be fine.
Tbf that's pretty far beyond just a little pruny. Dude has trench foot in his finger. His finger looks like the infected feet of WW1 soldiers. In this state he very well could lose skin very easily from how saturated it is.
How the fuck did u fall asleep like that did u shoot up heroin first then pass out WTF?!
Yeah, do neither of you move in your sleep?
Was she not awake after he fell asleep? And like then she decided to go to sleep and leave his finger inside… so many questions about this one😂
Maybe she was asleep before him. Maybe she was asleep all the time. She might be still sleeping.
Just got done letting her thaw out after pulling her out of the basement freezer?😂 sorry all, hope dark jokes are also appreciated here
It happened to me like last week, not this severe but it did happen in like 15 minutes so it was probably more of a nap for them too
Good thing she didn’t roll over and break it
This scenario is not believable.
The coochie demon took your finger
Not Pillow Pants!
Definitely not, she would have peed him out on her 21st Birthday.
Coochie with a pH of 2
Dont worry guys its normal when parts of your body is in contact with water for a long time the part of your body thats contact with water will look like that
Yep thats just a really deep pruning!
Deep pussy pruning
It seems weird, but it actually had a purpose:
Basically it helps you grip things underwater.
I think if you try to read it, you become cursed.
I’d hate to get a yeast infection on my finger. Getting one on my penis was rough, but I feel like having one on your finger would be much worse.
It’s even worse if you rub your eyes afterwards.
My eyes started to itch after reading this!
Y’all can get yeasties on your peen??
Yeah it’s candida yeast overgrowth, highly contagious. Uncircumcised dudes have it worse, since the candida enjoys a dark, damp hood to chill in, but circumcised dudes get it too
Interesting. The more you know.
That’s not true and just let it dry.
Will today somebody learned that the mouth isn't the only orifice that will start to digest things that are left in it for long enough.
Leave it in rice over night
Yeah exactly, do the same thing only fill her box with rice first this time
When you shower for too long
What is your gf's species? Venus flytrap?
Lmaooo what the fuck
More like it was in a very wet bandage or wrap for far too long. I bet the other side of his finger is injured.
You pickled your finger in pussy juice. Vaginal juices are quite acidic. Whatever you do, don’t put your finger in a basic bitch. Otherwise, your finger will explode.
Stick it back in. Girls like veins, ridges and textures lol 😆
Its water logged bruuh 😂😂
Did you smell it?
No, it's normal. Do it to all fingers then jack off. You are now doing The Granny.
Spray some Summers eve on it, hit it with some vagasil just incase. Let it air dry and youll be goood okay lmao
amputate your finger, trust me, it's the only way
Shits pickled man.
her pussy ate the soul out of your finger, you need to stick it in her bum bum now and keep it there until she shits it out
Guys tell him it'll rot off and its probably best to have it amputated and give to his girlfriend as a dildo
It may have come in contact with a native Michigan female... In which case it is taking the shape of a moral mushroom, and will return to its original form in about 2 weeks.
morel of the story here^
Im to innocent to understand this cleanse me