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AZSONORANDESERT

Put it in rice.


Biohumansmg3c

Gamer girl rice


TesticleMeElmo

69/10 with rice


geothunder98

69/10=6.9 With rice ofc


TesticleMeElmo

6.9ing is when you’re 69ing with a girl and she bites the tip of your member off.


TooGoodNotToo

6.9 is good sex interrupted by a period


TooFarTom

A sword is meant to get bloody!


Evil-2-win

Live by the sword...


TooFarTom

Think with your sword and they'll be plenty of sheaths around


sixtus_clegane119

Put down a towel


MethadoneFiend92

6._9 that’s 6.9 with a towel


Important_Counter_45

why would free lube interrupt anything


lolephantastic

Brilliant.


meanderingmindlessly

Rice cakes r/ricecakes


adogwithagun

Either that's a nice subreddit about rice cakes or it's a subreddit about asian ass


chiefvsmario

The former it seems


MettaXO

Sadly…


stoyaheat_

NSFW r/rice_cakes I got you fam


tkasliwal

I love reddit


SlickHand

A blessing of infinite happiness I bestow upon you my friend as you have brought to me.


EmotionInteresting38

Uncle Ben’s and boom 💥


Brocknutz

You have the greyscale


Xxfarleyjdxx

ayy only one thing to do now


DormantGolem

Give it to everyone?


paddycakepaddycake

Anybody got dragon glass?


Newbaeyy

Dragon deez nuts across broken glass


ToyVaren

Hate to break it to you but this is Level 3 cooties. Nobody listens in elementary school.


Tomatoman06

He didn’t get the cooties shot and it shows


Taolan13

Cootie shot is inoculation against incidental contact and smooching only. Prolonged exposure to female genitalia will result in increasingly severe cases of 'cooties' the longer you remain exposed. Eventually, your independent thought shuts down. If your exposure stems from a single committed partner, your life and livelihood become increasingly focused on her well being and happiness. If your exposure is more varied the cooties condition eventually becomes "manwhorism". If your exposure is sufficiently direct, it may even result in a parasitic infection of the female that has the potential to completely change your life. Partake at your own risk, gentlemen.


NotWigg0

Has it been properly tested? What is in it and can I replace it with ivermectin instead?


RedditAndLuvddit

Doctor, how much longer does he have to live? Edit: I need units, people! I guess at this point, it doesn't really matter because he's expired. It was the final countdown!


Jester337

His body, his choice


Hopulus

Circle circle


Pekkerwud

dot dot


ToothpasteTimebomb

Consider me skeptical about the efficacy of the circle circle dot dot method.


jerkittoanything

Hard to keep a consistent lesson plan together between active shooters.


Erby1_Kenerby

I thought reading the comments would make me feel better…. They didn’t


ToyVaren

Not with THAT attitude.


FingerBangingTanks

LMAO


cauldron_bubble

That username


Hanzo_Pinas

Its scares me


[deleted]

My wife works at a dermatology office. She said the highlight of her day was someone calling in about their penis skin peeling off a couple days after unprotected sex.


unicornbreadish

… how/why does that happen?


lurker818

He gained a level so it had to moult. Then the larger penis head could emerge.


The_Real_Freek

Like a fucking cocoon. Penis evolved into penifly!


Ropya

I laughed at this harder than I should have.


PencilRex

How


cosmicdroplet

PENIFLY uses JIZZSHOT. A critical hit!


CriticalThinker_501

You got impregnated! -99skill, -99 freedom


MEFFUIN

Penifly loses 99 money and 99 freedom as well as recoil


tupikp

Penisilin


[deleted]

I dunno. That’s some ER shit not dermatology


Deljm99

I assume its the same scenario, leaving penis in overnight, the moisture in the skin prbly get overloaded and the become swollen and then started to peel off very easily. These are just my assumptions tho


JunkCrap247

like a homeless diabetic taking off his trenchfoot shoe?


[deleted]

[удалено]


lou_sassoles

Sweet Jeeeeeeeeeeesus in heaven, why do I read the comments?


Constant-Pension-653

same I have read this comment and yet I am tempted to scroll down further, the lower you get the worse the comments get


angelinad1975

I am currently still scrolling


[deleted]

[удалено]


BeastModeBot

Have you read the jolly rancher story Edit: link to an archive of it. I will warn you, some things cannot be un-read. This is basically the two girls one cup of Reddit https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9pnlyz/the_jolly_rancher_story/


Adagio-Opening

This made me instantly nauseous. Thanks for the reminder


lou_sassoles

Like eating a bird's nest full of bacon grease


The_Black_Sonic1

It cost you 0$ to say that.


PoonLagoon69

Last time that happened to me I jerked off with Elmer's glue to stick onto the dead skin and jerked it off


blanketedslate

That is beyond disturbing but I still couldn’t stop laughing!


Jyndaru

OTC ointment and it went away completely. Dick disappearing ointment? Just like that, one week later, dickless?


-SagaQ-

Haha! This happened to my ex husband! While we were married, we moved from Texas to Alaska. I flew, while pregnant, with our toddler to Alaska and he drove our vehicle. He arrived with a red, very unhappy looking dick, skin peeling off.. Wanted me to have sex with it. Nooooo. I told him to see a doctor about it first because clearly he picked up an STD on the way. After seeing the doctor, he got medicine and cream of some kind (which he hid from me - no idea what they were) and tried telling me it was none of my business what he picked up from a toilet seat in Canada lolol "What were you doing fucking a toilet seat? No wonder it was coming apart at the seams afterward" Anyways, I divorced him.


Darthmark3

Holy fuck you dodged a bullet. STD's really are no joke


Anatella3696

*ESPECIALLY when pregnant* -I’ve actually seen them cause blindness in a baby


sammypants123

You know what they say - you *can* get an STD from a toilet seat. But you don’t.


Moon_Boy20

Wait did you ever find out what it actually was? Also sorry he was so secretive love


-SagaQ-

Not a clue. Iirc, I just began referring to it as his dick-molting disease.


Moon_Boy20

That is an amazing name lmao, I'm glad you can move past it though


__WALLY__

> dick-molting Short for Richard Rottencock


wishimi

What the hell


benz05tsx

So was it actually from STD?


-SagaQ-

I'm gonna say: clearly, yes. Why else be sketchy af about it? Buuuuut, I wasn't at the doctor appointment, did not see the meds, and heard no confession. So, in a court of law (or Reddit), I have no proof to say I'm correct.


Bismarck_In_Motion

holy fuck


flaming_bob

>a couple days after unprotected sex. With what?


[deleted]

🤷🏼 a belt sander?


Erby1_Kenerby

(´༎ຶД ༎ຶ`)


[deleted]

I think your emoji’s frown is appropriate.


send_me_nudePlz

What the fuck


quintus251

I was going to read the comments, but now I don’t think I should


genoheads

Forbidden pickle


Egg_Spoon

I’ve come for your pickle


watur_sheep_lover_

oh no not the pickle


ghost2089

Trench finger Edit: well, good morning reddit, thanks for everything and your usual stuff ppl say. Y'all have a great day


TacticalTapir

This one got me. Well done.


a_glorious_bass-turd

Mary-Anne's Trench


cauldron_bubble

Oh my god!!


Hanzo_Pinas

_YES!_


ThatEggLarge73

Lmaooooooo


Competition-Actual

Reach the end of the maze finger


medici1048

Someone forgot to blow the trench whistle for his finger.


wethummingbirdfarts

Well, on that note…goodnight.


iamafraazhussain

Try restarting it


LuckyBall3788

Did you try unplugging it & plugging it back in?


Aspinctorsayshwat

Soak it in cider.


Difficult_Relief4793

Too late


S0M3_N00B_

I see what you did there


Ignitrum

Thanks to you I read it again and got the joke...


hugac

Dicken‘s Cider should work?


thebynz

Looks like something off Snowpiercer


a_dead_fan

Wetpiercer, it's like Snowpiercer but it's just a flooded world with water that make things extremely wet really fast


Pepe5ilvia

More like Hoe-piercer


whsain

Put it in her ass to get the color back then suck on it to get the wrinkles out. Trust me done it a hundred times.


Twistedwolf-

Oh no, I’m not falling for this one again


stonerwilliams

R/holup


PristineMixture

r/holup


aw_thomas10

r/foundthemobileuser


Famous_Giraffe_8665

r/foundthehondacivic


o_Fvdinq

r/foundtheshutthefuckup


Idontknowaxjwjhdjnw

I need your pfp where did you find it sussy spamton


o_Fvdinq

I don’t know…


hendarknight

r/subsithoughtifellfor


100calculatedfam

A man of culture...


TheRealScubaSteve86

Of yeast


lazyshadeofwinter

of discharge


he1pmedawg

Why do you look like me?


claudesoph

Jesus.


Griffinw45

Wait really


Rollsach

Yeah real fucked up and all but the original image is from a guy who got his finger stuck in a beer bottle


DrakeFloyd

Mad I had to scroll this far, thank you for explaining


[deleted]

This finger looks like uncooked ramen noodles!


BootyFlakesAreGood

more like soggy ones


gonnacreep467

It looks like the mold that grows on ramen after 3 days


dalfonzinator

Normal. One of my mates did this with his cock. In my ass


Suspicious-Arm-7619

Captain aqua ass over here Edit: why is this the one comment of mine that blows up? lol


[deleted]

That’s a beautiful sentence you’ve just created, I needed this. Thank you.


Solo-den

I love Reddit sometimes 💀


BigDikEnrG

..... did you remember to wear socks?


onbakeplatinum

What if the socks are thigh high, individually toed, and rainbow striped? Is it still straight? Please answer, this is an emergency


Stainless-Titaniun96

Dude got Sukuna’s finger


Evo-Elemental

Enough of the durability test, now the taste test


FlushedBeans

Oh, YUUUJJJJIIIIIII


TheThotSlayerDoggo

Dude found god mode glitch, he can eat it and re-heal it and eat it again for more power


Regularjay69

Ribbed for her pleasure


silkroadinvestor

Bro. what the fuck.


ThatOneGuyYearn

The skin is oversaturated. Pretty much like if your in the pool too long and your hands and feet prune up.


Demos22

Actually, your skin doesn't get wrinkled in the pool because of water soaking, it's a response from the nervous system that causes the blood vessels to shrink. There are documented cases in which persons that have nerve damage at their fingers don't get pruney skin at those fingers. It is believed this may be an evolutionary adaptation, pruney skin helps us get a better grip of objects under water.


anonymeseeks

🌈 the more you know⭐⭐⭐


puhadaze

The more times you can start a sentence with Actually…


dennis-b12

He got extra grip in the cooch


100calculatedfam

cooch ain't goin nowhere


xkingmox

r/cursedcomments


Big_Fat_Mosquito

Will it turn back to normal?


ThatOneGuyYearn

Yep


OsteoRinzai

Yeah, in about a day it'll be fine.


ChrisChanHurrDurr

Tbf that's pretty far beyond just a little pruny. Dude has trench foot in his finger. His finger looks like the infected feet of WW1 soldiers. In this state he very well could lose skin very easily from how saturated it is.


TetrahydroC113

How the fuck did u fall asleep like that did u shoot up heroin first then pass out WTF?!


PineappleLife3

Yeah, do neither of you move in your sleep?


theking061

Was she not awake after he fell asleep? And like then she decided to go to sleep and leave his finger inside… so many questions about this one😂


soucevit

Maybe she was asleep before him. Maybe she was asleep all the time. She might be still sleeping.


theking061

Just got done letting her thaw out after pulling her out of the basement freezer?😂 sorry all, hope dark jokes are also appreciated here


percsncodeine

It happened to me like last week, not this severe but it did happen in like 15 minutes so it was probably more of a nap for them too


LucyBowels

Good thing she didn’t roll over and break it


Whats_UpChicken_Butt

This scenario is not believable.


100calculatedfam

The coochie demon took your finger


Thwipped

Not Pillow Pants!


jedininjashark

Definitely not, she would have peed him out on her 21st Birthday.


ItsMeLukasB

Coochie with a pH of 2


SiryThatdied

Dont worry guys its normal when parts of your body is in contact with water for a long time the part of your body thats contact with water will look like that


Cust2020

Yep thats just a really deep pruning!


Zealouslyideal333777

Deep pussy pruning


NormalDegree688

It seems weird, but it actually had a purpose: Basically it helps you grip things underwater.


SCRStinkyBoy

r/interestingasfuck


AlfredoVignale

I think if you try to read it, you become cursed.


RedTexan43

I’d hate to get a yeast infection on my finger. Getting one on my penis was rough, but I feel like having one on your finger would be much worse.


monkeymind009

It’s even worse if you rub your eyes afterwards.


SpicyRingSting

My eyes started to itch after reading this!


Spicy_Cay

Y’all can get yeasties on your peen??


LucyBowels

Yeah it’s candida yeast overgrowth, highly contagious. Uncircumcised dudes have it worse, since the candida enjoys a dark, damp hood to chill in, but circumcised dudes get it too


TheLifeTheory

Interesting. The more you know.


MoonDoggy2020

That’s not true and just let it dry.


Dumbassahedratr0n

Will today somebody learned that the mouth isn't the only orifice that will start to digest things that are left in it for long enough.


Thuglas1997

Leave it in rice over night


trisarajanetops

Yeah exactly, do the same thing only fill her box with rice first this time


darkLIGHTeric

When you shower for too long


SpaceX7004

What is your gf's species? Venus flytrap?


qtmcjingleshine

Pickle Rick!!


Tomatoman06

Lmaooo what the fuck


_Bhill

More like it was in a very wet bandage or wrap for far too long. I bet the other side of his finger is injured.


heckler5000

You pickled your finger in pussy juice. Vaginal juices are quite acidic. Whatever you do, don’t put your finger in a basic bitch. Otherwise, your finger will explode.


Outrageous-Tree-5364

Stick it back in. Girls like veins, ridges and textures lol 😆


kfree68

Its water logged bruuh 😂😂


Thulsa_D00M

Did you smell it?


ItsYaBoiInsertMeme

No, it's normal. Do it to all fingers then jack off. You are now doing The Granny.


Justah-Spektator

Spray some Summers eve on it, hit it with some vagasil just incase. Let it air dry and youll be goood okay lmao


Bjorn_grizzly

amputate your finger, trust me, it's the only way


Jaykzuka

Shits pickled man.


alexmikh

her pussy ate the soul out of your finger, you need to stick it in her bum bum now and keep it there until she shits it out


lililukea

Guys tell him it'll rot off and its probably best to have it amputated and give to his girlfriend as a dildo


CHorner22

It may have come in contact with a native Michigan female... In which case it is taking the shape of a moral mushroom, and will return to its original form in about 2 weeks.


bballkj7

morel of the story here^


GimmeUdon

Im to innocent to understand this cleanse me


I_will_be_wealthy

r/ihavesex


Tomatoman06

r/willmyfingerrotoff


NathanCollier14

r/ohthankgod