T O P
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Bad_RabbitS

*”Except Turkey! Turkey makes a brand new Turkey!”*


Remarkable_Whole

The power of the Wurtz revitalizes their fight


thenonexistentperson

r/unexpectedbillwurtz


[deleted]

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Deathranger999

Baste


JazzMansGin

Damnit did you start the gravy?


Clownzeption

Based


nothingwholly

Basted


Aggressive-Goat5672

Turkey is big. It will be hard to baste by yourself.


Just4Porn0s

Baste


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dreexel_dragoon

*The Basileus approves this message*


ModeThis

I see your a subscriber to r/2balkan4you


Aquarium-Luxor

K


mr_klikbait

A


GrimmCreole

R


Nox_2

A


hippofucker420

B


Kostas235

O


hsv123456789

Ğ


kaiserschlacht

A


pistpuncher3000

Plus, those bastards gave Constantinople the works!


Minko_1027

**accordion playing at distance**


Iuse_arch_btw

You have my legion


DougDimmaDabJR

Must remove kebab


Panjin21

Yea I need my mashed potatoes with gravy with an accompanying bowl of Mac N Cheese.


SurgeonOfDeath95

You always lose though! Why does Istanbul not Constantinople?


RGBeter

*Armenia liked that* *Greece liked that* *France liked that*


Distinct-Landscape-5

I've always found turkey a bit dry


Stoneflask_Studio

You need to come eat at my house. I don't make no dry turkey.


[deleted]

I gotta try that, but If you don’t serve imperialism that’s a dealbreaker


Stoneflask_Studio

I'm white... Imperialism is the main dish, my friend.


[deleted]

Alright when should I show up mate


Stoneflask_Studio

Any day of the week. We gonna chug that imperialism down with a little bit of capitalist slavery. Give you a good proper meal.


Racist_Hotdog01

Does russian also get food from American


Stoneflask_Studio

Sure... I can make some Borscht. That and them little cakes they fed Rasputin.


parttyli

what about finnish man can my reindeer come she works for the police so hide the drugs


Stoneflask_Studio

Instead of hiding the drugs, how about we just spit roast the reindeer? Deal?!


Racist_Hotdog01

I don’t like beets but potato piroshki is acceptable nothing else or motherland will not be happy


Stoneflask_Studio

Fine then. We can make Vodka soup. I'm accommodating to my communist friends as well.


Antaeus-Athena

Can I come? 😋😅🔪🦃


Fumingblooming

You make some dry turkey? Eww no thanks. /s


Distinct-Landscape-5

Awesome when we eating?


Stoneflask_Studio

I cook all the time. Maybe we can have a Reddit family Thanksgiving. Just come on over buddy.


AlanMichel

Thanks for the invite


Trainer-Grimm

turkey + imperialism is just a delicious combo. add some france for flavor if you don't mind a strong bitterness


Grey_Hawk98

Avoid adding Austro-Hungary to the mix though, or else things get a bit spicey, specially the air


Muted_Dog

Never been a big fan of mustard.


Ham_Ahoy

Most dry turkeys can be fixed by properly resting/carving them. The old tv trope of the whole bird and slicing off sections of the breast is ludicrous. You need to cut off the whole breasts slice the other way. It solves *most issues


garlicdeath

Yeah I've wondered if people still carve at the table these days.


Foootballdave

Give it a gin and tonic and tell it a joke and it'll soon come round


john_andrew_smith101

That's why you drench it in gravy.


QuarterDoge

It’s impossible to cook a Turkey whole and have it not be dry. To much going on. You have to hack it up and cook it in rounds to do it right. But then you don’t get the Norman Rockwell Turkey, so everyone just nukes it to jerky, collects all the juices they cooked out and makes a gravy to dump back on it.


Merv_Mango

Brine overnight + stuff with fruit + put butter on skin + cover with foil + cook slow n low (around 220 degrees) for 5-7 hours + remove foil and roast for last 30 minutes at 350. Carve, serve and enjoy the juiciest goddam turkey you’ve ever had


QuarterDoge

I’ve brined. I don’t like it, least favorite way for me. To much work as well but mostly, it ruins the gravy. If you are going for the Norman Rockwell turkey, then grandmas way is best in my opinion. Overcook the bird and squeeze all the juices out, collect them and cover thin slices up with the rendering. Or just cook the dark half way, and then put the white meat in. Easy peasy.


icancatchbullets

Brined and smoked mine at ~250. Was the moistest poultry I've ever had.


frostycakes

Just cook that shit in an oven bag, squeeze a bunch of citrus over the skin, put slices of butter on the skin, season however you want, and cook away. Comes out juicy af every time


bridgecrewdave

Baste it, cook for half an hour, uncovered at 450, then drop it to 350, covered until the breast is the right temperature, basting every half hour. A fifteen pound bird should take you about 4ish hours, but keep an eye on it.


RoosterRevenge

Wrong, my dude. You need to try deep fried turkey.


QuarterDoge

Deep Fry is good. Spatchcock and quick cook at high temps better. However you want really, just get the breast to 160 and thighs to 205.


wes8171982

If you make it yourself cook it in beer


TallAmy75

Brine that sucker in bourbon, salt, sugar and water for 48-72 hours, the breast meat will be as flavorful and juicy as the dark meat. I won’t go to anyone else’s house for Thanksgiving because I’ve lost tolerance for dry turkey. I mean, what an insult to the turkey!


SomeAnonElsewhere

Turkey is a shit bird. Every other bird is tastier.


checkthenewdigs

I’m a big fan of crow


ybanalyst

Pretty sure green bean casserole and imperialism are the same thing. EDIT: Wow, thanks for all the awards and upvotes, everyone!


Lifthras1r

No one is way worse than the other and that's why I picked the Casserole to go


Intuplat

Flair checks out


IAmAChicken_moo

I'm not even American and I know no one WILLINGLY takes some casserole, cuz who tf, other than the aunt who brought it, wants it


Mentally_Ill_Goblin

My mom makes excellent casserole, beyond that I have no idea.


lordfluffly

My aunt figured out a vegan casserole. It was the only thing I was able to eat for thanksgiving the last couple of years. There is a reason I'm staying home alone for thanksgiving.


fiesty_cemetery

Am I the only one who loves green bean casserole? Shit is bomb, maybe y’all haven’t had it done right.


Turanka

I fucking love green bean casserole, and I usually hate foods with anything creamy in it


Zenco3DS

Definitely haven't had it done right. Green bean casserole fucks I don't care what anyone says, more for me I guess


MrMcHaggi5

I have never even heard of green bean casserole! My boys love green beans and casserole so I'm definitely going to combine the two and give it a go!


Stoneflask_Studio

Green Bean Casserole


Twisted_Spirit

Same


Inarus06

This dude gets it.


Stoneflask_Studio

I don't see how people eat that crap. Just smelling it churns my stomach. It's the epitome of white people who can't cook so we just throw some shit in a pan and call it food, food. And I'm white... I can say that.


varzaguy

I would rather just have normal sautéed green beans.


Stoneflask_Studio

Right?! Fry down some green beans with bacon, butter, minced onions and garlic then call it a day. Bon appetit mofos!!


Legdrop_soup

Jesus Christ it's like you get me! Everything you've said here is exactly how I feel!


Stoneflask_Studio

Sweet baby Jesus!! You have the greatest Reddit name I've ever seen! Lmao


mike-zane

If you make it from scratch, it is amazing. You need to make a roux with mushroom. Melt butter in a pan and once melted, simmer the chopped mushrooms along with salt and pepper. After the water has simmered away from the mushrooms, add an equal amount of flour as the butter you started with and mix until it is thickened and ideally, wait a few minutes until the mixture darkens slightly. Add Chicken broth and stir stir until it starts to turn back into a thick sauce. Add enough cream to get the texture to a smooth sauce that is able to pour easily. What amazing thing you just made is the cream of mushroom that you add to the steamed fresh green beans in a pan. I still buy the store bought fried onions as I made that myself once and wasn't worth the extra effort. When you use the canned cream of mushroom soup that people normally use, it is absolute garbage.


gruenen

Made this for my family, did Alton browns recipe and I love it. Anyone who hates green bean casserole hasn't had it done right. That's like saying you don't like hamburgers when you've only had gas station burgers or something.


Aramike

WhItE pEoPlE


Passion_OTC

It's a southern thing. Nobody I know of in the great state of NY makes gb casserole, but in my 12 yr tenure in sav, ga.? Shit was common, not just for t-day.


MrsRomanGodfrey

I know a lot of people who have had it in the north, I'm in Massachusetts


comiclysans

Everyone I know in New York makes it lol


Stoneflask_Studio

None of my friends from the north have ever had it. Has to be a southern thing. And yeah, it's way more than just a Turkey Day thing. How do you celebrate the 4th of July with that crap? It's treason and they should be sent to Guantanamo Bay. Sweet baby Jesus that shit is horrid.


rje946

It's sooooo good


Stoneflask_Studio

You must've been one of those kids that was fed ketchup spaghetti.


SparklingLimeade

Nah, "casserole" is just a total roulette wheel of quality. Many are disasters but some are actual food. And green beans rock to begin with so you just have to not mess that up.


rje946

Lmao, that was good


Stoneflask_Studio

Lol... Thank you.


Inarus06

It really is gross.


fitty50two2

My green bean casserole is fucking awesome. I make the entire thing from scratch and it is delicious. A few years back we had a thanksgiving potluck at work, I brought green been casserole and two other people that couldn’t read the sign up sheet also brought it. All three we put on the table, mine was gone before the other two were barely touched. They just made stuff from the can and it was obvious


come2brazil69

Same, like, is that even food? I maen it is, but does anyone think it's likeable?


Stoneflask_Studio

No... It's a pan full of hatred, despise and malign intent upon the people they ask to eat it.


Ishi-Elin

Your opinion is wrong. Green bean casserole is the epitome of Thanksgiving food.


Houseboat87

The secret is to add a teaspoon of soy sauce to the casserole, you can thank me later


Ishi-Elin

??? It’s already perfection.


oraoramaster69

Nah it’s turkey, mash potatoes, and gravy


[deleted]

yupp


Rydagod1

B-but it's my second favorite dish next to imperialism😟/s. I guess it really depends on the quality of the green beans, I've always liked the way my family has made it.


Stoneflask_Studio

How do they make it?


ThatsRightlSaidlt

Yeah, definitely the worst one on the list.


Eklassen

You people are crazy. I could literally pass on any of the other stuff before I give up my delicious Casserole. Mmmmmm.


PRESTONGARVYpog

Absolutely


Gronk311

Pies, unfortunately. F*** diabetes 🤬🤤😨


Raccoon_Full_of_Cum

Just conquer and subjugate an insulin producing nation, problem solved.


Gronk311

Fortunately, my diabetes isn’t so bad as to require insulin shots. Yet. I’m working hard to keep it that way.


yahmack

Good luck!


Gronk311

Thanks


Templarkiller500

I've already got type 1 diabetes, which means I'm immune to type 2 diabetes and can eat whatever I want and cant get more diabetic from it, gotta take the big brain plays


SmartAssGary

*This one trick makes you IMMUNE from Type 2 Diabetes! Doctors hate this one easy trick!*


Sunyataisbliss

I’m T1 and thanksgiving is the ultimate roulette. I’ll probably take 20+ units this year, may be this time I’ll stagger them though. Pie or Die


freebirdls

F


Passion_OTC

Beetus


Darkfirelord6506

Green beam cassaroll


Stoneflask_Studio

Looking at some of these answers, it's make me sad because apparently, people in their family can't cook. Gravy... Mashed potatoes... Pie... Stuffing. If you can cook, these are things that should be outright delicious. Basically, slap ya momma on the ass delicious. Now, green bean casserole, I don't care if your Gordon Ramsay or Alton Brown, get it out my face. There is no saving that dish. That's the dish that is brought to your house by the people that secretly harbor a deep hate for you and your family. A hatred so deep, they are willing to waste the money and time it took to make it. Just so they can see the scorn and disgust deep within your soul. That's heavy, man.


FallenInf3rno

Did my man just say “slap ya momma on the ass delicious”?


Stoneflask_Studio

r/newsentences


Daryl76679

Reminds me of slap your momma seasoning. Even better is slap your momma hot


3rdInLineWasMe

Funny you should mention... [Alton Brown and green bean casserole...](https://altonbrown.com/recipes/best-ever-green-bean-casserole/)


Stoneflask_Studio

The dude is an absolute genius when it comes to food. I've seen every episode of Good Eats a multitude of times. But, he can take that casserole and fuck off. Lol


3rdInLineWasMe

Hahaha! I can't help but agree. I feel sorry for green beans who could have been otherwise delicious sauteed in garlic or flash fried in a wok with chilies.


Stoneflask_Studio

I feel you on that! Green bean casserole is like that kid that got a homemade sweater from his grandma for Christmas. Just sad and deprived of life. Lol


Jackthere

Green bean casserole is my favorite. The way my mom makes it? Incredible. The keys? French-cut green beans cream of mushroom soup (duh) butter


cdc030402

Is that not just the default way to make green bean casserole? It is amazing though.


Jackthere

Lol. Probably. I do see a lot of them using the whole green beans and I find that makes a big difference.


nIBLIB

>slap ya momma on the ass delicious I don’t think I want to try your cooking.


Stoneflask_Studio

What wrong with something so good that it makes you want to slap ya momma's ass?


dickcooter

People just have different taste :/


Stoneflask_Studio

True... Some people have good taste and some people, just don't have taste buds.


ZebraUnion

My Mother has been guilt tripping her entire family into choking down a heaping spoonful of her trash green bean casserole with canned water chestnuts for the past 20 years. She hates cooking, complains the entire time she makes it and doesn’t seem to particularly enjoy it herself, as I’ve never seen her go for seconds or touch it once it goes in the fridge. She’s a vegetarian among carnivores who can all cook the fuck out of a kitchen, so I swear to god I think she does it just to plop a lil pile of her own misery on everyone’s plates because she can’t eat any of the good shit. Her sweet potatoes are bomb AF tho. Preemptive Edit; we have *all* tried to make a vegetarian dish at one point or another for her in search of even just one that she likes but have never succeeded. She is the pickiest, most closed minded eater I’ve ever encountered. She eats like an 17th century peasant. Watery lentil soup with a leaf or two of over-boiled spinach and maybe a carrot if she’s feeling spicy, a dry chunk of cheddar and a hunk of sourdough bread that she tears off before making the soup so that it’s nice and stale by the time it’s on her plate. Don’t worry, it’s proved to be more than enough nourishment to enable her to drag her cross through the streets all day every day. “Oh woe is she, for her gay son still hath not produced her a grandchild, ..sigh.” Actual edit; “water chestnuts” not “watercress” ..yikes.


Stoneflask_Studio

I could not imagine the horrid thing that is green bean casserole with the addition of canned water cress. My stomach is literally hurting while I type this out. I just picture her as a skin and bone, wiry haired witch with the classic long nose and wart on it. Hands shaking as she forces the dried bread apart, slowly dipping it in her soup as she looks upon the table guest with utter disgust and malcontent. Just waiting for the next person to try the putrid slop that she calls "casserole". Never smiling on the outside, but her heart wide with glee as her next victim slowly spoons her creation on to their plate. Be it poison or nutrition? Only her iron gut will ever know!!


VicisSubsisto

Sounds like people in your family can't make a casserole.


Butternades

I’m not a huge fan of the boring ass canned green bean casserole but j do love making it myself. My secret is doing Alton Brown’s fried onions while lightly roasting the beans first and using some Worcestershire sauce and chili powder in my mushroom sauce


[deleted]

Fucking casserole can kiss my ass I like to load up on imperialism, that shits fire


AngusMcFluffles

Who the hell eats Mac and cheese on Thanksgiving?!?


jzilla11

The South


Revolutionary-Mouse5

Southern people where y’all at?


thescotchkraut

If it's a side, it's technically a vegetable!


AlwaysAngryAndy

Probably in the South one would guess.


FatherDotComical

It's Fall Y'all!


Passion_OTC

True. I didn't have have Mac n cheese for t-day til I moved to Georgia. Now I make it every year back in NY.


TheFloridaManYT

I don't know but I want to have Thanksgiving with them


UnderwaterArcherrr

Some lucky MFs


kabneenan

Reasonable people. It should be noted that mac and cheese served on Thanksgiving is the fancy mac and cheese. That's when I break out the fancy pasta shapes like cavatappi and the bougie cheeses like gruyere or gouda.


kenzer161

>That's when I break out the fancy pasta shapes like cavatappi and the bougie cheeses like gruyere or gouda. Sounds like just another Tuesday.


Ancalagoth

Month-old unrefrigerated brie.


Passion_OTC

^this person gets it.


Passion_OTC

It's gotta be from scratch Mac n cheese. I make a 5 cheese mornay and toss it in with spirals and/or penne(I don't use shells or elbows don't ask me I why) and then throw a metric fuck ton of shredded cheese on top and bake that shit. Clog not just your arteries but your bowels, too.


shoeless_sean

Southerners and black people Fuck you dude I'll take any excuse to eat Mac n cheese.


vvvui

It’s me, I eat Mac and cheese on thanksgiving


freebirdls

Who the hell doesn't?!?


Mysterypickle76

Happy people


crazy_reeuq

Mac and cheese.


Butt69poop

Wow am I the only who saw imperialism on here? How did everyone miss that? …. That being said fuck green bean casserole.


AlbertoRossonero

That’s the best part of thanksgiving.


snarfvsmaximvs

I'm sure we all saw it, but we have our priorities straight. Green bean casserole is an abomination.


Erago3

I don't like Turkey. But I also don't like most of the other stuff since I am not American. I would just keep the rolls and imperialism. But if I only have to throw out one, it's Turkey, I am Austrian after all.


kinda_normie

prolly green bean casserole tbh


Raz98

the Rolls. Ave Imperii, motherfucker.


DefTheOcelot

Thanksgiving isn't about imperialism that's BS Columnbus day absolutely, but thanksgiving is thematically about a diplomatic peace and finds it's origins in common causes for many winter holidays.


kappe41

4


Rayextrem

Turkey, the country not the food


Defferleffer

Mac & Cheese, not even a single doubt.


airsoftstuff

Def the green been casserole if I could do 2 the Mac and cheese would have to go


Passion_OTC

Have you never had from scratch 5 cheese Mac n cheese? The kind you can feel slowly sink down your esophagus? The shit that will make you not shit for a day? It's totally t-day food. Plus, the itis.


nymphymixtwo

WHAT Mac n cheese is a staple???


ii_jwoody_ii

This is the kind of stuff wars are fought over. Imperialism is necessary for the modern world… ^oh ^we ^were ^talking ^about ^mac ^n ^cheese….


Realistic_Plantain_6

Stuffing, fuck that shit.


CounterfeitXKCD

Stuffing for me, never liked it.


WaterHemlockBuffalo

Stuffing.


catcouldbefat

Fuck green bean casserole


Sublimate-21

my fore fathers wont allow anything but Imperialism, dear sir


Smishu

Mac n cheese is not a thanksgiving food


fullhalter

OVER MY DEAD BODY!!


FeedMeRibs

Right? Ditch the Mac. I'll keep them rolls to dip in my gravy. Fat kid style.


Von_Uber

Mac and cheese.


---___---____-__

Take away the stuffing and triple the imperialism


ebolson1019

I think we can do without the Mac and cheese. I will fight anyone who thinks of getting rid of the green bean casserole though


CrayonMuncher123

Turkey


thegreatbeyond32

Turkey.


ironbeardface

Mac and cheese.


firestorm310

Green bean casserole


Desmatic_Dork

Mac and cheese.


RomComRoy

Mac and Cheese


[deleted]

Well I'm allergic to turkey...


[deleted]

Honestly turkey was always way more troublesome than it was worth, what with the toppling Rome and the like. So, remove turkey


TheManwithaNoPlan

I’m going to obliterate you. Rolls?? When the obvious choice is right in front of you?! Jesus, people today are so dumb. The right answer is obviously Mac & Cheese, like who tf be eatin M&C on Thanksgiving smh.


Mr_DerpyDerps

Keep 8. remove all else


PikaPerfect

goodbye gravy, i never used you anyway