Welcome to /r/fundiesnarkuncensored. Please make sure you read our rules. We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * Do not contact the fundies in any capacity. This includes, but is not limited to: answering poll questions, commenting on their social media, IRL contact, etc. Anyone found to message, brigade, harass, or contact any fundie for any reason, **at any time**, will be met with a permanent ban. * We do not allow speculation on sexuality or gender identity **at all**. Any comments that do so will be removed, and you will be permanently banned, with no possibility of appeal. * Referring to anyone as Hitler or Heitler is likewise not allowed, and will not be tolerated at all. If you do so, you will be permanently banned with no possibility of appeal. * You can snark on appearance that they can easily change. Things such as eyebrows, makeup, etc. Saying X looks like Y is allowed. Example: David Rodrigues looks like Shrek would be allowed. You are allowed to state that you find someone unattractive or attractive. However, comments such as "X looks like they were rode hard and put away wet." would not be allowed. * Don't gatekeep. Different users are comfortable with different snark topics, if you don't like it, just scroll past. If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/FundieSnarkUncensored) if you have any questions or concerns.*


no multiple choice options this time? :( i’m thinking this is a timbits engagement announcement


I think you’re right, he probably proposed at the lady’s retreat


This made me laugh but you're probably right and I'm sure Jill LOVED that it happened at HER retreat


It was her idea


She's the one who actually made the proposal


Timmy doesn’t even know it happened yet.


😭 yall always fuck me up so hard


It was her demand.


Fundie proposals are always awful and weird.


I enjoyed the one WALKER HAYES performed during, before he was famous. Can't remember who, but one of the Duggar girls? (by enjoyed I mean got a good dose of snarky amusement out of)


Jill and Derrick apparently Derrick was friends with him or thc found the cheapest person they could to write a song


*thc* This cracked me up! Yay autocorrect!


THC: the hell company


The hell channel works too lol


The Trashy as Hell Channel. Anyone else old enough to remember when it was The Learning Channel?


Yes!! That was what I thought but wasn't sure. Thanks!!


The proposal that hurled me into the world of fundie snark took place at an Arby's. And because the bride and groom had a deep conviction not to touch before their wedding day, the bride-to-be's father put the ring on her finger. They were so committed to not touching that she had a 6" decorated ruler that she brought any time they spent time together. They have since left the spotlight and seem to be fundie-light. I hope they have a long life of curly fries together.


Ma’am, this is an Arby’s.




~~I'm pretty sure that was one of the duggars..~~ ETA wrong josh [http://kristinaskeeps.blogspot.com/2009/02/engagement-pictures.html](http://kristinaskeeps.blogspot.com/2009/02/engagement-pictures.html)


Oof. Oh Lord. Her other blog says they met in December of 2008...engaged in February of 2009 and married in July. SEVEN MONTHS between meeting and getting married. First kid was born in 2010. They named their first three kids Kloe Nikole, Brayden Bryce and Raegan Rileigh. Ugh. Ope and there's the Plexus. Shoulda seen that coming. Pink drink won't cure your anxiety, ma'am.


I did some creeping because I had 5 free minutes. They have 5 kids now, the husband got hurt on the job and then let go by his company. It looks like she's been working full time since then (at chic fil a 🤢 and then a cleaning business) and she briefly had a podcast about mental illness in the church setting.


She definitely seems like she's not as deep in the flavor-aid as some other fundies we follow, but that just makes me sadder. When people are so smart and talented and capable of great things, but then they're stuck in a broken system and conditioned to accept mediocrity.


Props to her for picking up the slack and working tho, most fundie households would still just have her stay at home and keep pumping out children. Hell, even Jill's Dave won't work a job to keep the children fed.


This is for real how 14 year old me would’ve documented/captured/scrapbooked such an event. It’s really sad to think these are actual adults (we hope she was, he looks older) doing this. Also, the dad putting the ring on is just so beyond cringe. The restaurant photos give me flashbacks to the ones Jill (I’m sure creepily) too of poor Tim & Heidi.


No that wasn’t at Arby’s


you're right, i edited my comment.


Here's a thread about her! I don't think she blogs publically any more so I don't want to give her full name or anything. https://www.reddit.com/r/FundieSnarkUncensored/comments/rvppj7/6_inch_ruler_girl/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button


He looks a lot older than her doesn't he...? I'm curious about these people now!!


That man also look like he could be her dad. 🫣


Oh God that was wild. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. That is the only proposal that was worse than Josh's ambush proposal to Anna.


Feels like an Arby's night. Imagine just being there for a Beef N Cheddar and a Jamocha shake and witnessing *that*, lol.


Wow, that was... something! I do hope they're happy and healthy etc. But the dad putting the ring on her, just killed me! And the ruler??? Wow


I thought the Lord was their only ruler.


The more I read about this stuff the more I realize Kid Farm didn't even need to come up with stuff to parody.


Of course she needs a ruler for her fundy performance nonsense, she can't make do with a psalter or a pocket New Testment like everyone else who's " leaving room for God " like that 🙄


Ooh, those extra long curly fries! 😄


Fundies are always awful and weird


so ~romantic~


Or could be gender reveal..


ooooooh true! i didn’t even think about that. could be the first girl grandchild.


I was going to guess gender reveal!


That’s what I am thinking as well, especially since there isn’t any multiple choice answers.


I really hope it's this and not that Jill is pregnant with another baby they can starve


At least as a plus, if it were a JRod pregnancy, by the time the baby would be old enough for food they would have at least 3 adult children married and not dependent on them anymore, possibly even 4 by that point. They might actually be able to afford feeding it properly.


I don't think they could afford to feed two kids, honestly.


They choose not to feed their kids properly. It wouldn't matter if she had one kid and a winning Powerball ticket.


yeah, when 11 out of 12 servings go to their dad...


That's true, that child might have a shot at getting some of that ham and yellowy stuff.


I think the miscarriage will put her into the start of menopause. Her baby-making days are over with, hopefully.


I really hope you're right.


How old is she?




She looks older, I’m almost 45, but I chose to have 1 child. She has a lot, and could end up with at least one more.


She's in her early 40s. Not sure exactly how old she is


At the same time one is more fertile just after a miscarriage.


I am positive she’ll do her best to have at least 1 more


You know she wants a twin or triple pregnancy with her daughters, like Michelle and Anna.


Either that or andKaylee’s gender reveal.


I'd prefer either of those to my first guess, which was another Nurie pregnancy announcement


Oh god I hope not - please give your body a break, Nurie!


Andbaby could be the first girl!


Gawd I hope so


She might be running out of options


hahaha, true. i was literally JUST thinking, “what’s she gonna put now that timmy’s actually in a courtship and her uterus looks like it’s closing shop?”


Okay.... Closing shop.... All I'm picturing is a garage door slowly shutting and Jill booking it to get there before it closes and at the last minute stop, drop, and rolling under just in time.


For sure, gotta lock that girl down!


a) jill's pregnant (no god pls no) b) Nurie's pregnant, again, and voluntold to announce it to the internet (no god pls no) c) Kaylee and Jonathan are voluntold to reveal their baby's gender to the internet (possible, she's ~18 weeks at this point) d) Tim and Heidi are getting married and voluntold to announce to the internet e) Fuck it up Renee/Philip/Samuel in a courtship and voluntold to announce to the internet


C:a) kaylee is having twins and that’s why her belly popped so soon


NO GOD PLEASE NO. God, if And Kaylee is having twins Jill is going to seethe. (and it might make her the favorite child to harrass 24/7 and give Nurthan a break)


Why would Jill seethe? Does she want twins?


Considering Jill has never had twins I'm a little skeptical of this theory. 🤔


twins can skip a generation in some families, and jill has younger twin sisters. so it’s not impossible!


Jill's sisters are identical twins, there's no genetic component there.


ah i didn’t know they were identical, ignore my first comment then!


But that's the whole point of them! Angie exists to show what Amy looked like when she could walk! (Of course I'm just repeating some monsterous shit Jill has said before.)


What even - Amy uses a wheelchair! She looks exactly the same as she did before the accident, just *seated.*


Yes, but they had a funeral for her legs!


That will never cease to amaze and appall me.


Do you know if they're identical? Fraternal twins are the kind that run in families.


Considering that I vividly remember Jill comparing the twin that was handicapped by the car accident to the able-bodied one as "this is what my sister looked like before the crash!" I would say they're identical.


Eh, I know a lot of very similar looking twins who are fraternal. Some weren’t even aware they were fraternal until they got tested for medical stuff.


i don’t actually know! they don’t look identical in the pictures on [fundamentalists wiki](https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Noyes_Family)!


Oh dear lord I forgot these people are in WV, same as me. That's it, I'm moving to Canada.


I have twins and so many of my fellow twin moms have nobody else in the family with twins. One of those just had her second set of twins. 2 pregnancies, 4 babies.


Jill has twin sisters, though


Twins often skip generations, and Jill has twin siblings. My family has an on/off/on/off pattern going back 4 generations. Every other generation just lets their eggs fly like confetti apparently, which is one of many reasons I won’t be having children.


Honestly I'm hoping for a courtship... the more elder siblings can gtfo, the more chicken nuggets and 1/4 tacos for the other kids to eat.


I think its too soon for an engagement, Nurie's and Kaylee's courtship to proposal time was around 5 months, Tim has only been courting for a month. Also very unlikely for Jill to be pregnant, it's just a month since she had the miscarriage, and it took her 5 years of trying to conceive to get pregnant that last time. So either Renee entered a courtship with that guy she was seen at the retreat with, Nurie is pregnant again or a gender reveal for Kaylee's baby.


My first thought was gender reveal for Kaylee and Jonathan's baby, because Zach and Whitney Bates just did one last week for baby 5 and they're due at about the same time.


Yeah, that’s probably it.


yeah, it has to be this, or if not timmy engagement.


I feel like that’s more likely then the proposal because Jillmp would want to make a bigger deal out of Tim tam then Kaylee, and this weird Facebook post is not very “big deal”.


Yup. It's (and kaylee). Jill will find a way to make it cheaper and tackier than the "cardboard on the side of the road" announcement for baby nemo.


I could see her revealing it in passing, or waiting until the actual baby shower. She treats poor Kaylee like shit


We are for sure getting an engagement announcement. The countdown begins on the amount of time that poor girl has to come to her senses.


Idk. They’re doing courtship differently. I could see them courting for awhile.


I hope, but I saw a ring on her finger resembling the one she has pinned on her engagement/wedding Pinterest board, and her and timbits were wearing matching green outfits (also the color she has chosen for her wedding themed board). Me thinks she’s speed running straight to fundie hell


In a post yesterday, her sister said it was either her purity ring or a courtship ring (which, first off: too many ring types.) I still think it's engagement though.


Her sister respects boundaries and would lie to protect her sisters privacy rather than stay silent when she knows that would only invite speculation. Half shirt, whole sister backing her up 😉sorry couldn’t resist Honestly I’m just happy she’s got the ring she wants, whatever it’s for, because the path she’s treading doesn’t usually lead to women getting everything they’ve ever dreamed of. Hopefully getting the aesthetics of what she wants does lead her to pursue this life if timbits doesn’t treat her well and respect her as a human being instead of a sexdoll maid helpmeet.


I don’t feel like I’ve seen much about their courtship aside from the announcement.


Her sister has been milking the snark attention for all its worth on socials 🙄🤢




I hope so!


As long as it's not another pregnancy for her (because she really needs to care for the kids she has), I don't really care because it's formulaic. *Oh look! My fave is preg again, my not fave is having a boy, we're on the road again, someone's a-courtin.* Bleh. I do hope it's a Timmay engagement though. He looks the happiest ever with his potential inlaws.


This is one of the few times that there's a lot of plausible theories- AndJonlee's gender reveal or a twins reveal (Kaylee looks pretty far along for 18 weeks!), Heidim engagement, or Renee in a courtship. Maybe all three.


Heidim hahahaha


I had a decent bump at 18, Kaylee is pretty small framed and guaranteed fully exhaled in that photo


The second I learned I was pregnant - no more sucking my stomach in! Full exhale feels so good 😂


When was the last set of fundie twins born?


I hope Kaylee isn’t expecting twins because Jill would probably decide one of them is really her lost baby and make Kaylee’s life hell.


That is just WRONG to be deluded enough to think that. Were these people dropped on their heads as children?


That couple name sounds like a cute name for little Southern girl-Jonlee. Different but not too outre.


r/namenerdcirclejerk would like a word 😩


I’m hoping it’s either Timmay getting engaged or Kaylee’s gender reveal. (I’m worried that it might be announcing that Nurthlet #3 is on the way considering how fast #2 came. Really hoping that’s not the case for Nurie’s sake.)


Ah damn I didn't even consider Nurthlet #3. Super plausible, poor Nurie.


If that’s the answer, Nurie is giving Kendra a run for her money!


And Jill, as well. Jill had 4 kids in 4 years and 2 months.


I think the best possible outcome is just a gender reveal announcement for Kaylee's baby. please


I said something yesterday about Jill trying for a rainbow baby, and I swear to god if I accidentally spoke that into existence...


I think Jill has been trying for a baby since Janessa, and will continue until she's 60 or David refuses to wake up.


Kaylee gender reveal or an engaged Teidi


> Teidi Man, that just looks like the Swedish version of "tidy." *Keep a teidi høme with IKEA!*


Nurie is knocked up again :(




How old is the current nurthlet? I've lost track 😅


Old enough


I think it will be they Renee is courting that guy she was pictured sitting next to at the retreat.


There were guys at the ladies retreat? Can they have nothing of their own?


A girl who posted to Jill's page (and said she and Renee were "starting to be close friends" or whatever) commented in the thread that she thinks she knows what it is, so I'm guessing Renee's tablemate got an upgrade...


I'm on board with Renee courting, since she was sitting with a guy at the retreat


I am hoping he is secretly a punk rocker. Renee plays bass in his band. They tour dive venues across the country and have the best time ever. Alas, it’s likely Nurie is pregnant again. Or Renee is courting and the guy is blah blah blah, the usual.


Don’t forget about her slaying the harp/harmonica!


Fuck it up, renee!


As a retired copy editor, your flair is killing me! I love it!


I would LIVE for this.


Have you watched We Are Lady Parts? It's set in the UK, all female Muslim punk band and all the women interact with their religion and culture in different nuanced ways. It's phenomenal and hilarious and all of the characters are given dignity and treated like humans. Anyway. Your comment made me think about this show and everyone should watch it. :-)


Wait, wasn't Nurie just pregnant with the second? Did I fever dream that?


Yes, but Newman (I can’t with that name) is a couple months old. She could totes have a bun in the oven already.


I'm torn between horror at that being possible and glee that they named a baby literally New Man.


Newman Christian, at that


I posted before thinking. Options: -Nurie is pregnant -kayJon reveal -Renee courtship -Timmy engaged (I don’t think it’s this one, they seem to be doing courtship differently and I think they’ll wait before engagement)


Please don't let this monster be pregnant with another baby. They can't feed the kids they have at home.


Buckle up, buttercups. We're either going to find out the genitals of a fetus or learn that two virgins are fixin' to get conjugal.


If it’s a Tim engagement, I wish she’d let the people getting married announce it themselves but this is The Jill Show and I know better. I am, however, torn between not liking Heidi’s attention-hungry sister and wanting her to spill the beans before Jill.


That's what it is - I couldn't put my finger on why I found the sister kind of off-putting. It's not, but it feels slightly like Jill 2.0 the way she has inserted herself as their "public spokesperson" almost? I don't mean too much shade there - she seems nice and Tim and Heidi seem happy (?!) and fine with what she shares, but as a fairly private person, I would not be thrilled if I were Teidi.


Perfect couple name. Just ![gif](giphy|IupiISje3OaL4jKHDf)


Oh God I didn't think of this. I would be pissed if my mom announced my engagement before me. Like seriously thanks mom for stealing my thunder!


Especially since Tim literally has his own FB now


Hyping up the life events in her family is just gross. You’re not a celeb, Jillpm.


People that announce announcements annoy me


Here's to hoping it's not another womb fruit for Nurthan.


![gif](giphy|DsdVe5jhHWNC8) Womb fruit is gross but hilarious at the same time.


My guesses.... Not Nurie gender reveal (i hope its a girl. I think Nurie's head would explode), Timcel engagement, another courtship, Nurie is pregnant again.


On the one hand a girl would be funny since ther least favourite has the first girl, but I also really feel for any girls born into that belief system. Kaylee and jon may be quiet online but it doesn't mean they don't have the same outdated views they grew up with that put women in a subservient role


Gender of not nuries nugget.


It sure as *anything* isn't that David is working a real job


My first thought is Nurie is having another Nurthlet because she’s probably overdue to announce by this point. But I’m not sure this announcement of an announcement is excitable enough for the golden girl to be reproducing again.


I imagine Jill will start feeling jealousy at some point if Nurie surpasses her “rate” for kids.


She’s set the date for the next ladies retreat


My vote is gender reveal. How will they ever top the torn cardboard and silly string announcement?


Why does she keep announcing announcements?! Its so weird.


Nurie pregnant


Did she crop out the "send help" message she put in there?


Timothy is engaged or Nurie is pregnant again. Wild card Jill is pregnant again


Cw:. Alcohol mention. I have to admit I was a little drunk when lurking on the subreddit the other day. And I was really confused when I saw Timmy in the women's retreat photos. And so for a brief moment I thought maybe Timmy was coming out and chose to do that at the women's retreat. But then I realized that would definitely be the super wrong crowd to come out as a transwoman too.


Please not another Rod or Nurthling


Timcel’s getting married


Jill is pregnant


Who could possibly be pregnant or courting?


Please God do not let Jill be pregnant again.


Haven't read the other guesses, but i'm going to go with third nurthan baby.


* Tim and Heidi engaged? * Renee, Phillip and/or Samuel courting? * A reveal for Kaylee's first baby? Possibly twins if we're gonna also assume Jill's previous multiple choice options * Nurie having baby number three? * Phillip going to his very first missionary work/training overseas? * Jill's pregnant? * The Kellers moving to another state or country? * Maybe some news about Tim and Patricia Noyes? These are the ones on top of my head. Edit: this just popped in my head. Tim's engaged and also going back to pilot school. We'll never know until Jill reveals what it really is.


It’s got to be Tim and Heidi, right? Unless I’m missing something. Or a Renee courtship? (As you can see, I’m really hoping that Nurie isn’t pregnant again for her own sake…would that be 3 under 3?!)


why would she post every single photo Janessa took... Jill you are aware that you can delete photos, right?


Because she's so puh-rey-shusss, Jill's widdle BAYBEE. Man, Janessa has no idea how close she came to being booted from Jill's affections in favor of that new baby smell. Saved by the peri menopause!


Kaylee's gender reveal for sure


Jill is pregnant with twins


Karissa would be so jealous


David got a job


Engagement or another Nurthling Neither one are good news


Mama’s planning a celebration of life for the little one who didn’t get here. But bc she’s Jill it can’t be respectful or heartfelt. It’s just an attention seeking act.


Sex reveal


Timgagement. ETA: oh, wait--do we have a gender reveal for Jonathan and Kaylee yet?


Okay so I guess Jill pregnancy, Nurie pregnancy, Kaylee gender reveal, Timmay engagement, or random kid courtship are the options ​ I know Kaylee or Timmay is more likely but I really think Jill is pregnant again.


My guess is Kaylee's baby gender reveal. She just posted that Kaylee is at 18 weeks, and that is when gender is considered accurate to detect ..but for real, what is gender anyway


I swear to god I can only handle one fundie underage YouTube channel intro in one month.


Janessa 🤨?? This woman wants to be a Duggar so badly it’s almost scary the lengths she’s gone to to emulate them


Is Janessa savvy enough to open Jill's Facetune app? 'Cause these pics definitely look filtered.


Janessa looks healthy and glowing


Tim's getting married. Nurie is pregnant with 3rd baby. Jill is pregnant again. Renee is courting. All of the above?


Cute kiddo on phone rho 🥺🥺🥺 reminds me of my nice when she was younger 😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺


This is the happiest I’ve ever seen a Rodlet look in a picture.


I’m going to say something nice. Holy shit do these kids look 100x healthier now that they aren’t having to literally fight for a chicken leg.


My guess is she’s watching some type of online course or she’s pregnant.


My guess is Kaylee found out the sex My guess is boy


i feel like timeline wise, kaylees gender reveal or nurthan pregnancy announcement makes sense but who knows


Timmay is engaged