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august-27

Standing ovation for Reaux's point at the end re: launching an offensive. No more standing idly, scratching your head and wondering "why do men do that? whyyyyy can't they be nicer to us?". Start making tangible efforts to improve your life, build self esteem, demand respect and *enact consequences*. If he doesn't respect you, walk away. It's that simple.


ello-motto

Enacting consequences is so important. If people are being sus and treating you in an undignified manner, it is COMPLETELY okay to have a boundary. Don't ever even think of feeling a type of way for demanding respect and enacting the consequence.


millions_ofpeachs4me

“We’re not pick up artists, we’re put ‘em back artists.” That’s it, debate’s over, we got pure distilled FDS right here. Big Queen energy. 👸🏻


Noemie_Mathilde

This writer needed to be dragged. I really related to (Lilith or Reaux's, sorry, your accents sound identical to me) mention that she once held similar views to Tracey in her pickme days and used to read those type of SeX pOZzy articles. Me too. They feel like grooming and complict with the Porn industry. I'd honestly like to sue SeXPoZzY writers for damages to my younger self. There were no articles telling young women they can say no. Everything is geared towards getting you to try dangerous, unpleasurable shit and kowtowing to men. I used to read Karley Scortino articles that suggested being anally raped by her BF was a way to "appeal to her submissive side". Such a dangerous message. I think it highlighted the "gap in women's media" FDS is always on about. There are no "standards positive" writers in mainstream media. (If mainstream media eve exists as it once did--I think the kids get everything off tiktok...maybe FDS needs a tiktok channel). 💗💗💗💗💗💗


Sunshine_Daisies2525

I agree with this! I’m honestly awed at the way our fave podcasters gave a careful, detached, and serious consideration to this Jezzie author. I was mulling over that writer today and she reminds me of friends in abusive relationships. Someone in FDS mentioned that friends with abusive partners are the way for the patriarchy to reach out and touch those of us who make choices to protect ourselves. It really goes beyond a stockholm syndrome and a blindness towards toxic behavior. It’s like they want us to be abused too because deep down they know what they are doing isn’t normal, and they need us to be part of it to justify what happened to them. I shudder to think about the extent of the self-gaslighting someone has to be in to scroll through this entire subreddit, misquote a ton of posts, and write such an articulate (yet logically incoherent) article to justify the way they’re exposing themselves to sexual abuse.


ello-motto

I would also like to sue sexpozzy writers, tv shows, and media for damages as well. I wish it was legally possible. The amount of shit we got fed. The promotion of promiscuous behavior at the cost of your own dignity to appeal to the male pornified gaze. Like wtf.


Equal-Ear2312

she's a white woman from a privileged background. she wants to give the start to young women to embrace this type of degradation because she mistakes it for empowerment. ​ if it doesn't land you in hospital, you didn't get banged 100%... she markets it as "feminism" but it's just pornsickness at its peak.


Illustrious_Dream751

I liked how at the end you said you would still welcome the author with open arms when she's ready to see the error of her ways. Great episode, ladies


ZOR-ZeGodofZumba

My favourite thing about this episode was the amount of times the hosts just paused after a quote, and had to say: >*'And what's wrong with that???'* They are completely right in that somewhere along the way, we all crossed into a twilight zone where demanding nice treatment from men is somehow considered *wrong* (?!) or too much to ask for. How dare we want someone who adds value to our lives - the *absolute* nerve of us 🙄


iacint

It’s was a fun podcast episode. I remembered me in my pick me behaving what i am not like other girls i am not high maintenance and why you need flowers? But secret ingredient was jealousy! I wanted be treated good but i was so completely insecure what i truly believed that i wasn’t special to deserve this and it was my fault 🤦‍♀️. She brings sadness in me. This pick me behaving on poor or average girl will end in news about a drunk body in forest or forced into despicable things. It’s only because of immense privilege this pick me is alive.


I_know_right_AS_IF

Being a red pill woman is being an ultimate pick me. It's laughable to compare FDS to that!


Tharwaum

This podcast made my day yesterday. I really thought I was the only one (or that it would never be publicly said) that jezebel is shit and their journalistic integrity is non existent. Thank you for taking the time to explain line by line effectively why she has no point and how she is misleading with her random quotes not connected to anything. Amazing work!


hexriot2001

pornsick clown jezebel writer. i scrolled through the comments on the article and i can't believe women are missing the point so hard, its sad actually.


Tharwaum

I looked at them yesterday. On the positive side it sounds like most of those women and men who commented took it at face value and have those opinions because the article presented it like that and they didn’t look further. (Also, sounded like many had happy relationships already.) none of the comments showed a deep understanding of the subject (matching the article!) So, there is hope for them if another website puts out a counter article and they read it.


localgirlcult

I wanted to go see the stupid comments under the poor excuse for the article on Jezebel and I gave the fuck up. Their website is a nightmare on my phone. It's 2021, get the fuck to it. It should be smooth reading the comments on every device. I used to read that betrayal of a site. I distinctly remember the moment I finally stopped. Here's my last memory. One of their galaxy brain commenters had a very popular highly upvoted comment about how white women don't understand the struggle with body hair in women, we don't understand the pressure apparently. Why, you might ask? Oh, it's because white women's body hair is *celebrated* and no one minds when we have it. It's only non-white women who are ever berated for having body hair and pressured to remove it. She also defined white as american tbh. She grouped various Europeans with the non-white category. Like, did you go to school in a field? Classes taught by goats? No one thought it was a weird thing to write or think. But that was the moment I realized that this is a community with rocks for brains. It was like the crazy cat lady from The Simpsons screaming on the street and people going ahhh yes, quite right. I both despise and feel bad for the author of that bullshit about FDS. She's a clearly deceitful, malicious clown but she's also really broken by the patriarchy. Like, a lot of the shit parts of her clearly come from her alone. Some people just aren't good. But so many of her experiences with men are just a tragic misery that damaged and hurt her and instead of taking a minute to process and get real with herself, all she could do was shriek THIS IS FINE HAHA


[deleted]

>Oh, it's because white women's body hair is celebrated and no one minds when we have it. It's only non-white women who are ever berated for having body hair and pressured to remove it. I was never personally celebrated for having armpit hair or hairy legs. On the contrary. I've been approached by women who told me that I should hide my armpits until I had shaved them. Others had the audacity to say that my hairy legs looked like men's legs. Well, one can successfully argue that black women have it worse over all (because on the top of misogyny, there is racism) but on that particular aspect, I think all women have similar social treatment. We are pushed to shave our legs, our armpits and the hair from the bikini line. The same is not encouraged for men.


localgirlcult

Not one of us is celebrated for it by our surroundings. That woman had an inexplicable need to tell lie and was commended for it. Guess it's a pattern for jezehell with both their writers and commenters.


pickmieshaexorcist

There’s this weird belief that white women don’t have dark or thick body hair, even amongst ourselves. When I was young and insecure about body hair, friends would tell me to just grow it out because “no one will see it, I barely shave myself!” Well yeah Stephanie, you’re a natural blonde. My hirsute ass is very noticeable, thank you very much. Of course, now I don’t really give a shit.


BrightIdeaGenerator

Everyone tells me how lucky I am to have beautiful naturally thick hair ... well the hair on my head isn't the only hair that's thick! Yeah right white women are celebrated for body hair!


TululahJayne

OK WHAT. I'm going to be downvoted for this possibly but, I cannot stand using white women as a scapegoat. What does that do exactly? We can talk about the intersectionality of white women compared to other women and not just rely on the quippy meme that every white woman is a Karen. It's getting to be old. Anyways. I agree I could not navigate that site for the life of me. It's a dilapidated mess. It almost looks like it would give me a virus haha.


Tharwaum

Yes. Some sites that I notice doing this a lot are Jezebel, refinery21 and celebitchy


IcePrimcess

Perhaps is has to do with that pedestal many fight to stay on. We witness too many of you “Karen” a situation just to feel special. No care that that it’s to another’s detriment, they want that special moment. You aren’t always scapegoated, sometimes you are getting called out. We can’t fight as sisters if the patriarchy provides your sense of purpose and self esteem.


lucidlotus

"too many" white women being Karens doesn't mean the majority of white women are Karens.


IcePrimcess

Of course there are wonderful white women. Still there are problematic behaviors that must stop. I’m “black” but look “white “. I know the dirt that “white” women do.


Eqvvi

Sometimes yt women are called out, that is often deserved. Of course, but for body hair? You cannot seriously tell me yt women aren't attacked for body hair. Or the new trend of arguing that fatphobia is just a race issue and only affects women of color.


SkiesEclipse

Geeeez, the reaching. I got my dad’s pasty Irish skin, and my mom’s dark Italian hair. So not only am I really hairy, it also shows up really well on my pale skin! Woohoo! As a kid, boys, not girls, boys, would always make fun of me for having armpit hair, and leg hair. They said I looked like a man. Before I was allowed to shave, I remember sitting outside for hours trying to get a tan, so the darker skin would conceal the hair better. All I got was painful burn after painful burn. On the bright side, I’m a good candidate for laser hair removal I guess 🤷‍♀️


ashb1218

I loved this episode and each one I listen to I’m more invested and SO excited to read all the content you guys recommend. Thank you!


TululahJayne

I really liked this podcast! FDS is the common thread. I've said it before and I'll say it here again. This is the middle ground wen can rely on. How could you ever oppose personal growth and personal forgiveness? Hating FDS is a knee-jerk reaction. Nothing more. And it's a knee jerk reaction because the patriarchy tells us women who go against the grain are not to be trusted. Wonderful, podcast episode ladies.


sneakyfox

I've been meaning to comment about the structure of the podcast. It's very well produced, but the end always feels abrupt to me. I think what's missing is an auditory cue like a jingle before "That's the show!" I always imagine the guest to be around for the "die mad" part and expect their laughter so it feels off. Whether you change it, the whole show is great!


deadinsidelol69

This is definitely now my favorite episode. I loved the discussion, tearing apart the article in such a fantastic way, and dispelling myths about FDS. My only criticism is it really could have used a trigger warning for the graphic description of sexual abuse. Even when being used for context, it would be very much appreciated in the future.


pickmieshaexorcist

This episode was 🔥 from start to finish. I was sad it was over because it felt too short, that’s how good it was. Last time I felt like that was the Gail Dines episode.


All4Goldie

Loved the comparison on this weeks pod of pickmes being scabs and FDS being like union workers who are on strike. Such a good analogy! This pickme is so incoherent in her writing and thoughts because she is unable to think like FDS! Like another commenter mentioned, totally missing it. Hopefully, she’ll come around!


cinequefoils

I absolutely loved this episode! I attempted to read the article but could only get a few paragraphs in due to the poor writing and the awful website. Loved the critique of the writing and there were so many great moments! Definitely one I’ll be revisiting in the future. Keep up the great work ladies, I’m obsessed with the pod and listen the MOMENT I get the new episode notification 💕


alsatiandarns

Listening through a second time, so good. Looks like they took down the graphic image in the article. Did they edit after the fact? EDIT: my bad, the graphic image is in the original article “do the patriarchy to me” that started the twitter exchange (TW sexual violence: https://jezebel.com/do-the-patriarchy-to-me-1846089201/amp). The rest of the pod is about the article in response to FDS (https://jezebel.com/inside-female-dating-strategy-the-subreddit-that-teach-1847558145)


Tharwaum

What was the image?


alsatiandarns

TW sexual violence: https://jezebel.com/do-the-patriarchy-to-me-1846089201


flower_vulva

Loving the pod 🙌🏻 Great work, ladies!


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