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_RustInPiece_

This is definitely one of my favorite episodes so far. You confirm what I've been saying all along: Your attention is your social currency. Spend it on valuable actions you receive. Rewarding LV behavior with your attention is a bad investment of your currency. Not only won't it have the desired outcome - it will back fire at you, you will achieve the opposite.


JesusisKingisLord

I love how you phrased this!


Noemie_Mathilde

Re: the discussion about not typing paragraphs, Andy Warhol never used to read newspaper or magazine reviews (good or bad) he simply measured the SPACE they gave him with a ruler. The same applies to the attention we give men. Your time (much like space in the New York Times) is worth a LOT.


FineDeliciousSnakes

Oooh I like this!!


JesusisKingisLord

This is gold! I had no idea.


Noemie_Mathilde

Also the discussion about not showing anger or letting them know what you're thinking---reminds me of elite soldier selection trials where the army gives the candidate no feedback on their performance until the end. This is to weed out the candidates whose behaviour is motivated only by others' reactions rather than their own judgement. They also feed them false negative feedback to see they will react and weed out egotists. https://youtu.be/hhZSEfvdrPo FDS is the new SAS.


Muffcakelord

This! It sounds weird but this is something i learned in school thanks to ruthless teachers. I would be highly insecure like any other kid but i quickly understood what the silent treatment or even false negative feedback meant. It brings out the most primal and blinding reactions in us. You'd have to be an idiot not to realize this - so this is an excellent filter method for pretty much any screening of humans.


JesusisKingisLord

All the comments here are gold. What! Who knew? (Clearly you did, just saying wooow)


Illustrious_Dream751

At first this episode got my back up. I'm a cryer and a venter, so the part about "emotional self discipline" just felt like more of the same "don't be so hysterical, have control of your emotions, you're being irrational" type bullshit we get from men all the time. The story about your friend and her dad made me want to cry. But then I spent some time digesting this episode and reflecting on all the times I cried and vented at men in the past and I realized it never actually got me anything. Looking back, every time I ever showed strong emotion to a man, he either shut down, blamed me, used it to manipulate/gaslight me, or he would just tell me what I wanted to hear without actually changing anything. In the end I was just playing myself. Clearly, this is something about myself that I need to work on. I want to learn how to be a cold ruthless strategist with men. Does anyone know any books and podcasts on how to have better control of your emotions? Maybe you could explore this in a future episode?


marimare21

Yes. I recommend Running on Empty and The Happiness trap for overcoming emotional issue based in childhood (former) and emotional control/acceptance therapy (latter). Not saying you have deep childhood trauma but the reprogramming they recommended is applicable to everyone.


Noemie_Mathilde

Inspired by the latest episode, I have started experimenting with gambling theory when it comes to phone calls with men. While this wont help you control your emotions in the heat of the moment (though i suppose you could duck into the ladies toilets and roll a dice)...it helps if you are prone to calling/texting a guy too often, too soon. Here's how it works: a guy calls you and you want to call him back immediately. Instead roll a dice. If you roll a 4 or under, thats the number of days you will wait before calling him. If you roll a 5 or higher that's the number of hours you will wait before calling or txting (obviously you can come up with your own numer rules). It adds a layer of unpredictability to things and saves having to make a decision. Of course if he's low value, block and delete.


Inside_Inside_8610

Men HATE those shows of emotions; it raises their blood pressure, they can't fix it, so they just ignore you and try to switch off. BUT there is an exception. When you can't do something or you feel overwhelmed, cry be emotional and say "I can't, I just can't". I heard this on a podcast and did it (unconsciously) in front of my brother and he was immediately concerned ( and he's not always like that. All three of them have a tendency to just gawp at me if I'm upset).


Illustrious_Dream751

It's hard because in the heat of the moment I feel like I can't control myself either. I always end up saying things I later regret πŸ˜’


Inside_Inside_8610

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP?). If so, then great self care is a must. Diet is also important. Wheat and gluten increase my sensitivity ten fold. Lack of sleep makes me grouchy, impulsive and highly reactive. It might be worth checking to see if you have food allergies. Doing an energetic therapy like the Emotional Freedom Technique or Reiki may also help. I think that it's helpful to ensure that you're grounded in your body first so that it provides a strong foundation for whatever changes you want to make.


Illustrious_Dream751

Yes, I'm a pretty sensitive person unfortunately. I'll try those, thanks for the advice!


Noemie_Mathilde

Nothing clears the head and fortifies the resolve than the FDS podcast. πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–


Bluemonroe26

Loved this episode! I actually listened to it twice already lol does anyone else relistens to episodes like multiple times or is that just me πŸ˜… Is there any other resources or FDS posts about developing emotional self-discipline? That’s something I definitely need to work on 😭


Muffcakelord

If we all contribute on patreon they'll probably provide even more content for us. They could probably make specific workshops for us


Noemie_Mathilde

I re-listen


Illustrious_Dream751

I re-listen to episodes all the time too 😭 it makes me feel so validated


Muffcakelord

I find it so funny how everything boils down to "women fear men will hurt them, men fear women will ignore them"


Inside_Inside_8610

Yet women are the attention hungry ones.


cherry_blossom_szn

Men who call women "attention whores" are projecting


Inside_Inside_8610

As in everything they criticise women for.


flower_vulva

Great episode! I don't have anything to add, just wanted to say that it always cheers me up & motivates me, keep going, Queens πŸ€πŸ’›πŸ’™πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ» I always also give a like on YouTube to balance out the pissed off scrotes hating on there 😁


JesusisKingisLord

I will start doing the same! I didn’t realize this was posted there.


nanofarm

This was sooooo good you guys! You all are doing such and amazing job, I cannot wait for each episode and bonus to come out! Thank you so much for the thought, planning and effort you are putting in to this.


secularwitch

This is one of the best ones! I enjoyed it a lot. Please do more of these because yeah we know the concepts here but hearing again with different stories makes is much more memorable and understandable. I love you queensπŸ’œ


greenteathyme

This was such a great episode you guys! I listened to this at the gym today. Keep on doing the Goddess’s work helping women! 😭❀️


cherry_blossom_szn

This is accidentally one of the most blackpill episodes so far πŸ’€


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MightyErudite01

Are there transcripts for this?