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phase_lag

Now I've seen everything.


Analbox

I’ve never seen someone *caught with their pants down* so literally before.


Fartenmamouf

Really? Your username suggests otherwise…


Analbox

Takes one to know one Fartboy


AskMeAboutMyGenitals

Gentlemen, there is no fighting in the War Subreddit.


Krakenspoop

How them genitals doin?


Dickhole_Dynamics

Splendid


Cycloptic_Floppycock

Hanging loose and to the left.


smegma_yogurt

Don't forget about that scrubbin now and then


SaysOyfumTooMuch

Oyfum


meatstax

Underrated reference


107197

There is no fighting in the War Room!


Fart__

Stay away from me and my son.


Douchebak

You fellows mind countinuing this?


haz150

Once on a military exercise my platoon was ambushed while I was mid shit in a portaloo. You bet your ass I returned fire from the seated position


kakapo88

Did you open the door first?


haz150

I'm not a marine mate haha


hemeny123

Something something brown crayon


Buyinggf15k

Yea we once did a quick attack on some rear echelon guys during an exercise and my gunner said he saw a poor guy popping a squat like 50m from the position, and it was at night so the poor dude was trying to get his pants on and rig done up and find where he put his nvg 😂


netw0rkpenguin

Plebs. I shit with NVGs on and eCOTI on.


Buyinggf15k

Poop in a squat with rifle at the low ready in full battle rattle, then they can't catch you slacking 😉


netw0rkpenguin

Read santzu. He perfectly describes how to take a shit and be battle ready. That’s why freshly minted 2lt butter bar is smarter than the average rolled in the mud grunt.


GNSasakiHaise

Why has no one asked any questions about this? Were you fired back at whilst shitting and how exactly did the fight go?


mrencko

Lol he didn’t explained what kind of fire


Analbox

Sometimes you gotta return to monke and fling some turds.


340Duster

Downward mortar fire.


haz150

Let me tell you, gunfire inside a giant blue box that stinks of shit tends to draw attention. My laser vest went off like nothing I've ever heard haha


i_miss_arrow

I know its war, but this just feels *rude*.


yunghastati

I worked security in college and was taking a piss on a construction site I was responsible for when a bunch of drunk kids started hopping over the fence next to me, got my foreskin caught in my zipper but still managed to assert enough authority to avoid getting my ass kicked.


Mitche420

Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?


8dy0

“…No?!?”


BlueWeetabix

Well then you haven't seen everything, and neither have we


SkyMayFall

Have you ever seen a man eat his own head?


samocitamvijesti

Well .... until we see Ukrainians drop a grenade on someone's dick.


AnimalMother-1

WHERE IS YOUR BATTLE BUDDY


Wankel_8

His battle buddy died in a dumping operation earlier prior to this attack.


Twig

GAH DAM PRIV, WHAT IS WRONG WIT THIS PICTURE


Spare-Blacksmith1376

YOU BETTER PULL YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR ASS AND UNFUCK THIS SITUATION


amo871113

Front leaning test positiooooooooon... MOVE


J_arvid

THA JUST DONT CAREEEE BATTLE!!!!!


jdaiquiri

He died because no PT belt


ThomasTheTankBuilder

That is the difference between the West and East: we have each other's backs and even hold hands while shitting. Just make sure your first choice will be your right choice because battle buddies shit, eat, sleep and fight together. Your comment made me giggle so much; it echoes everything I've read from veterans.


jboni15

I made this consideration when I deployed and me and my battle got to chose to be room mates. Zero conflict between us during deployment. If he was on tower duty and it was laundry day I would take his stuff, if it was inspection and I didn’t do my part in the room he would cover for me. Best chemistry ever only second to my wife lol


[deleted]

How were the brojobs?


Prollysmokedtoomuch

What happens on deployment stays in deployment bro


TheRealBOFH

When in Rome, bruh.


LifeOnaDistantPlanet

How do you go about "choosing" initially? A friendly exchange or two in boot camp?


sr_90

Alphabetical order in basic.


spcwolf1

I still hate that guy.


elvis8mybaby

The 7-11, near the highway, has a hole between the 2 stalls in the bathroom. It's for holding hands when you're trying to squeeze a big one. Once a silly dude put his weiner through it as I was shitting. I giggled and told him to stop as I batted it away.


reddit_ronin

Why does a 7-11 have this?


schzap

Just a feature. Just like slushies.


[deleted]

Why wouldn’t a 7-11 have this?


LifeOnaDistantPlanet

Because the profit margins on gas are razor thin.


Odins-Enriched-Sack

Sounds glorious.


Daltronator94

HEY GUY THATS FUCKIN WEIRD WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR BATTLE BUDDY


wrench_ape

Ironically, I am shitting right now. And listening for drones.


DadaDoDat

Here I sit broken-hearted, tried to shit but was blown aparted. RIP /u/wrench_ape


HellTrain72

Then one day I took a chance But a drone blew off my pants.


sewankambo

It blew up and hurt my rear And now my ears no longer hear.


pagit

So be careful when you shit alone, Because you may never hear that fucking drone


doughboyhollow

My 91 year old father appreciates that comment.


Aggravating_Dog8043

I may not be able to shit for a week. Too nervous.


burntreynoldz69

Wouldn’t it help scare the shit out of you??


[deleted]

Naw it sucks back up inside


xXSpaceturdXx

I’m reading about someone taking a shit that just saw a video about someone taking a shit while I am taking a shit


mickstep

Username checks out.


sp00bs

I like how first instinct was to get his underwear on. My ass woulda booked it before round 2.


xlDirteDeedslx

Would you want your buddies to find you dead wearing that weird thong looking thing with a turd halfway out your ass?


alysonimlost

Why you hatin on tactical battle thong


thecashblaster

Nothing boosts morale more than feeling sexing


Spare-Blacksmith1376

Zap Branigan?


uberares

“Hi! Im Hunter Ellis with the new tactical Battle Thong! Armored so your junk wont take a hit, light enough so you can retreat even while mid dukey. “ Another bright idea brought to you by bulb head.


BodaciousBadongadonk

For some reason that made me laugh more than the spelling I usually use: dookie


zeelt

ah yes, the combathong!


noeyedeeratall

Thanks. Now I have something else to be anxious about.


sp00bs

Definitely not. He got lucky that bomb went awkwardly to the right. And they didn’t have some extra with them. Probably getting laughed at by his buddies once they see it.


demoman45

Shrapnel is a bitch and I can guarantee you he got some. I’ve seen shrapnel from a small 2lb shaped charge rip through lvl3 bulletproof glass like it was butter.


moxeto

You can see where some hit the branches around him so he most likely copped some as well.


Hypersonic_chungus

hot metal straight to the right nut


BeeElEm

Couldn't he still have died? They've been seen a few times leaving buddies to die, and he must have gotten some shrapnel


No-Newspaper-7693

Most deaths on the battlefield actually happen back in the field hospital. Humans can suffer through some pretty horrific wounds for a few hours.


CantaloupeCamper

Don’t judge me!


thesaddestpanda

There's a video of a woman falling off the 9/11towers and she tries hard to keep her skirt from flipping as she falls. I think these reactions are hard wired inside of us.


HolyCheezeBallz

I remember seeing this in a documentary on Netflix.


Hutz_Lionel

9/11: The Falling Man For those interested. Extremely somber doc.


SonofRaymond

You control the things you can control


AlternativeJosh

This is so true. Sometimes controlling the only things you can is the sole way to maintain sanity.


Mr-Fleshcage

It's what made the Daniel Shaver incident so tragic. i would have totally pulled up my pants


bcmonke

It's like those people that jump off bridges but first take their jackets, shoes off etc and fold them in to a neat pile. People react weird


Beatleboy62

I remember reading a short story about someone slated for execution, and made a point of, he would be dead in 5 minutes but on the way to the gallows he stepped over a muddy puddle. It wouldn't matter, but, still goes, "dont wanna get my feet wet." It's absolutely hard wired into us.


sleepyoverlord

Yeah but I wouldn't want to have wet socks for 5 minutes


Hypersonic_chungus

Yeah but there’s some people with plenty of life to live who just don’t give a fuck and would shuffle right through that puddle


Hey_Hoot

Robert O'Neill, the Seal Team Six member that had the killing shot on UBL recited this very thing on the helicopter ride to the compound. (according to his many interviews) "A woman whose last gesture of human decency was holding down her skirt on the long way to the pavement so no one could see her underwear. That’s why we were going."


radiantcabbage

like a survival instinct when aware of imminent danger/death, becoming highly motivated to do anything possible however useless it may be. and part of training for anything high stress, to reprogram this reactions with constructive responses. pulling his undies up seems correct to me lol, they would interfere with displacement if he runs for it. next best thing besides a direct hit, his shit-ass tripping all over himself bookin it away from there


OnkelMickwald

Nah man, when I *envision this situation in my mind* I *TOTALLY* act 100% rational and so there's no reason to doubt that I would.


HerewardHawarde

cant run with your pants down.....


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WallFew4058

Well ain't that some shit lol


GayAlienFarmer

Things we would have said "no fucking way I'll see that" if asked 6 months ago: - Drone's eye view of said drone dropping a grenade and threading the needle of an open sunroof and blowing up the occupants. https://www.reddit.com/r/CombatFootage/comments/udaivl/drone_drops_grenade_on_a_russian_vehicle_warning - Drone's eye view of said drone dropping a grenade on a guy's shoulder and blowing his head off. Skip to 2:55. https://files.catbox.moe/u8eugc.mp4 - Drone perspective a grenade dropping on a guy trying to take a shit in an open field There are probably more absolutely absurd sounding things we've seen from drones in this conflict that I just can't remember.


NomadODST

- Smartphone Vid of a Russian tank towed by a tractor


GayAlienFarmer

Lol, a STOLEN stolen Russian tank.


Buzzdanume

I mean tbf, that just sounds like a normal day in Russia to me. I wouldn't even bat an eye if I saw a vid of some drunk Russians driving a stolen tank with a big brown bear sitting on top of it.


jasfad

Just wait until we start watching this stuff live from the battlefield. “Now we’re going live to Igor who is lining up a shot that will probably kill someone”


Law_Equivalent

Opsec, that would not happen


XxthecomedianxX

Do you have a link to the second one?


HotLoadsForCash

I slowed it way down 2:55. It also ignited the truck carrying some boom boom chemicals. https://files.catbox.moe/u8eugc.mp4


Runnnnnnnnnn

For what it's worth, an ordinance is a rule or policy, while ordnance goes boom.


wonkey_monkey

Keep going, what's an ordnnce?


SheeeshAddict

rdnnc


acityonthemoon

I didn't know that. ty!


New-Inspection4481

I second this


bokononpreist

POV from people taking a tank round a close range.


Top-Relationship-446

-‘Ma’am, your son has died today’. Did he die as a hero? -‘Well…..’


alotofcheeses42168

correction, your son has gone “missing in action”


TheTphs

Correction: your son is AWOL


DaGhostQc

FSB redacted: What son?


GodOfDumbness

Away With Out Leavings?


Santore

'Your son? What son?'


Puzzleheaded-Job2235

"The manner of your son's death is classified. Trust us ma'am it's best you not know."


EstNoire

Look at the shrapnel hit the vegetation around him, nasty stuff


judgehood

Look how the shrapnel didn’t hit on the other side of him, too.


Caracus333

Oh shit, the rewatch hit different after reading this.


LeadDontFollow

That is some real messed up shit


samocitamvijesti

Shitty place to take a shit.


CrimeForumThrowaway

Pun intended?


Hegario

I normally don't really feel bad at these but for some reason in this case I do. Maybe it's because my dog always used to look at me with pleading eyes when he was taking his dump, so I would guard him at his weak moment.


Ramps_

Bro I've always taken my dog's pleading eyes as a "Dude, please look away, I'm doing my business here."


gumbrilla

No!!!. You're his battle buddy. You're supposed to keep an eye out for danger. Not stare at your feet!! Jesus, every dump for that dog must be heartbreaking. Promise me, next time, keep watch!


Ramps_

I'm- I'm sorry?


DirtyKurty1

That could have been much worse. Imagine that landing right in his shit pile. Imagine the impact on bare balls. No thanks.


RussianJudge5

My gut is telling me that dude gots loaded with shrapnel so I’m thinking still pretty bad


Krakenspoop

Shrapnel wounds+itchy butt from not wiping ...his day is ruined


moelad1

that's the understatement of the year. i cant think of a more vulnerable state to get attacked than while taking a shit. my anxiety skyrockets when i hear someone near the bathroom door while taking a loud dump, cant even imagine what it would be like to get riddled with shrapnel while taking a dump in the middle of a war zone, probably suffering bad diarrhea or constipation due to poor diet and conditions.


pennomi

If you slow the moment of impact down, there’s dust kicked up everywhere except in a cone shape “shadow” behind the guy. My guess is his body absorbed a bunch of shrapnel.


bigmac22077

I was expecting it to be an almost direct hit. What he got is almost worse case scenario for that situation. He’s alone, the blast maybe didn’t hurt but the shrapnel did. Maybe he doesn’t make it back to the squad because he bleeds out? Would have been a mercy kill to drop it on his balls. At least that way he wouldn’t know he was killed while taking a shit for the let 5 min of his life.


fellowsian

Killed in the line of doody.


k1lk1

How is this comment so far down


throwback12345677

Definately hit with shrapnel, but in the border of the instant kill radius.


kakapo88

Imagine being the drone operator, being presented with this target. His/her finger must have been twitching on the bomb-release button.


GayAlienFarmer

Dude was probably borderline giggling.


bababoobieboopie

He had to have burst out when he seen his tactical thong its like a video game at that point lol


kakapo88

He slipped on that tactical thong quietly and in private. A few hours later it was all over the internet. There’s a lesson there.


GayAlienFarmer

A bit of dust kicks up right under his ass cheek. I wonder if his balls got grazed. Imagine the indignity of not only getting hit while shitting, but getting your sack sliced open by frag.


lesusisjord

A regular fragmentation hand grenade has a kill radius of 5 meters. An 81mm mortar round has a 35 meter kill radius. I don’t know the exact type of round this is, but it looks smaller than a mortar, and even if it only had a 5 meter kill radius, this guy was at about 5.1 meters away from the blast, so watching him tip over instead of rush to cover kind of indicates that’s where he ate shit. *Edit* Looks like dude is pulling up his underwear preparing to move. Either head injury or pretty much ok. I’m thinking the latter with the other comments I’m reading. It looks like a 40mm grenade similar to ones fired from the M203 or MK-19, except not exactly the same as it’s delivered via drone (obviously). Looks like all flavors of 40mm grenades have the same 5 meter kill radius as shown in this interesting link: https://www.inetres.com/gp/military/infantry/grenade/40mm_ammo.html


LeTigron

To me, it definitely looks like a VOG-17. That aluminium-grey coloured, flat conical head, the black cylindrical smooth body, the ratio of length to diameter, everything. It has a theoretical kill radius of 7 meters, but they have the notable reputation to produce few fragments and, although I could never verify it, to not offer homogeneous dispersion of fragments. To summarise, this guy was, against all odds, on a lucky day.


lesusisjord

Thanks for the comment. I have no idea what it was, just what it I thought it looked like compared to what I knew.


LeTigron

You were right, actually. The VOG-17 is a "cartridge-grenade" the likes of the 40x46 or 40x53mm used by western countries. It is used in the AGS-17 and the AGS-30 automatic grenade launchers, the sovietic equivalents of the western Mk-19. I gave precisions about the specific ammunition used (or at least what I think it is) but what you said still is true.


ithappenedone234

The 5m kill radius is a description of the range of probable incapacitation. It never was meant to describe a 100% certainty. As we’ve seen in Ukraine and so many other videos from other wars that someone might get hit at 2m and 5m while someone at 3m doesn’t get a scratch.


DefenestrationPraha

It looks more like 3,5 meters to me rather than 5, unless he was really tall.


Arkslippy

I'd say he's ok, he was able to pull his pants up. Probably wounded. The ground looks very soft from how he was digging, might have gotten lucky.


ExperimentalFailures

Most kills aren't instant. You really can't judge from this footage, but his chances aren't very good.


Competitive-World162

When i had my accident, i was pretty functional for couple of hours. I only realized i was badly wounded when i was in the ambulace. Even then, i didnt realize they were already fighting for my life. Burns.


SmokeyUnicycle

People are too used to video games in Hollywood where you either drop dead or are fine


Competitive-World162

Yeah. Adrenaline really gets you going, and then you are in shock. My friend, who stood beside the ambulance, told me that i would repeat saying: " i am sorry, don't worry, i'll be allright." Apparently, i kept saying the same thing in multiple variations, and just wouldn' t shut up about it. Went on till they put me in artificial coma, half sn hour later. You know its bad when those emt guys dont even talk to you anymore, because they have so much to do .


JestersDead77

IIRC most of these small drones are dropping Russian 30mm VOG grenades with 3d printed fins. So about 25% less size than a standard 40mm NATO rifle grenade.


blueskies001

Atleast let the man finish his final shit, and start pulling up his pants before you end his existence. Damn.


pm_me_advice_247

Idk I’ve had some shits where death in the middle of it would’ve been a mercy.


-ChrisBlue-

Yea. I think there needs to be a gentleman’s agreement. Let soldier finish his shit before you end him. Imagine his family burying his casket: “mommy, what happened to daddy?” “He was trying to release the chocolate log when he got blasted by skynet”


barney-mosby

That was an actual thing during the American Civil War, so many guys had dysentery that it was agreed you wouldn't shoot a man while he was shitting.


Melodic_Raspberry806

He didn’t even wipe!


TripleFFF

In democratic Ukraine, shitting wipe YOU!


wwtf62

He probably shit so hard when the bomb went off that he didn’t even have to


ModernDayExplorer

Munitions dump


SherlockWats

He stepped in it


mossberbb

black bikini briefs! who knew the soldiers were so fashionable.


silvakingskin

Looted from some poor Ukrainian woman's underwear draws


Speckwolf

When I thought I had seen everything…


CaptainBaoBao

As weapons goes, it is pretty lame. but as propaganda in psychologic warfare, this clip is worth a battalion of tanks.


space-native

it seems to me like these are scout drones with added ordnance just in case you come across those moments you could take out a troop or two.. the videos that keep poppin up are this same drone perspective with a small mortar lookin explosive jerry rigged on.(completely judging by the way the explosive is dropped in multiple vids) makes me think this stealthy for teh lulz "bomber" was created as a secondary thought when they were discussing scouting options. lul


behaaki

The weight of ordnance severely limits the range / flight time / height ceiling of the drone. I don’t think these are recon drones, I think they’re specifically meant to go to a known target and try to fuck it up.


Acevedo669

That should be against the law of war. Any man shitting should be left to shit in peace.


stfleming1

In the US Civil War, there was an "agreement" that you didn't shoot a man while he was shitting. Dehydration from diarrhea was very common


TheOtherGlikbach

Disease was the biggest cause of death for soldiers in the Civil War. 2 out of 3 deaths were causedDiarrhea was the biggest cause of disease deaths. Rommel lost north Africa partially because of diarrhea due to pitiful handling of human waste and flies carrying poop from open latrines to soldiers food. Lose control of your soldiers bowel habits you lose the war.


UGS_1984

I always wondered when I had diarrhea, what if I would be in war right now, no toilets, paper... Must be damn hard, to die for, as it seems. (not a sarcastic comment).


TheOtherGlikbach

Bad nutrition is a reason people are susceptible to many diseases. Soldiers didn't (don't) get a lot of minerals from the food they are given. I wonder if the Russians are starting to feel the effects of bad food? Diarrhea kills.


whistleridge

> Disease was the biggest cause of death for soldiers in the Civil War. Fun fact: WWII was the first war where more soldiers died from combat than from disease. Although it depends partly on how you define “disease” and WWI is the first war under a definition that includes infection from injury.


Analbox

Ok everybody take a knee, Hershel’s got the runs again.


miswiredbrain

The American Civil War had a that code of honor.


GODDAMNFOOL

Mainly because they spent 50% of their time shitting because of dysentery [We can actually trace the beginnings of our heroin epidemic to the civil war, funny enough](https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/inside-story-americas-19th-century-opiate-addiction-180967673/), thanks to its use as an antidiarrheal


Vidjagames

A Vietnam vet I know was a sniper, he refused to shoot an enemy soldier while relieving themself.


Sneezegoo

Him or ot other guy?/s "I'll shoot him when I'm done!"


hysterical_landmark

"Invade my country. I AM VENGEA... oh wait you need to poop? Ok Timeout guys hold on."


Acevedo669

That is EXACTLY how it should work. POOPING during war is like getting on base when playing tag!


FragmentOfTime

Me, held at gunpoint: starts shitting


Mr-Fleshcage

*Impatiently taps foot and inspects gun, waiting for him to finish*


samocitamvijesti

Ya, hit him while he is wiping.


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[удалено]


JohnCenasBootyCheeks

Looks like they need to invest in bunker buckets.


yanguwu

I bet that scared the shit outta him


ZarkowTH

He rolled in it


carbonbasedcuriosity

Best way to stop being constipated


CutterNorth

He finished up fast.


pe_ca

Pretty disgusting clip. Do you have more like that?


DabasDels

Savage


Flat_Button_886

Dropped a load


RidinHigh305

Damn isn’t that a bitch


marc512

Russians have been caught red handed causing war crimes. Now they are being caught with their pants down.


This_is_my_phone_tho

The PTSD of trying to take a shit and literally getting bombed is gonna be rough.