No, you can’t earn the love of God. That is what makes it grace. **‭‭(Romans‬ ‭11:6‬)** And if by grace, then it is no longer of works; otherwise grace is no longer grace. But if it is of works, it is no longer grace; otherwise work is no longer work.


Additionally, you are trying to justify your repentance and God's love on a feeling or emotion. Faith in God is bigger than any feeling or emotion. Confessing your sins and asking God for forgiveness and having faith that He will (because scripture says this) forgive is truth, not based on an emotion or feeling. 1 John 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness


Reformed theology is what is needed.


Think scripturally. Once you a believer nothing can separate you from the love of God. Nothing. Romans 8:37-39 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 1 John 4:19 We love because he first loved us. That means he pursued you because he loves you and that will never change. That doesn't mean that we shouldn't try to please God and love him with our whole heart.


After sin, godly sorrow towards what we’ve done wrong the Bible says leads to salvation. For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 2 Cor 7:10