T O P
SirSmokealotII

Congratulations. You’re officially a wanker.


DogfishDave

>You’re officially a wanker. But he's worked for it. So he's our kind of wanker.


T1CM

Also. Isn’t it a well known fact that wankers drive Audi’s these days?


ImaginaryAfternoon0

Audis and BMW drivers are on the same level


T1CM

I dunno man… my mrs drives a BMW and she’s defo not a wanker. 😞


WimbleWimble

Do you have access to her onlyfans?


T1CM

No mate. She said if I want access I have to pay like all the other mugs.


TopDigger365

Trust me it's worth paying.


T1CM

Would recommend then yeah? I’ll pass on your compliments.


ZestyFootCheese

I drive a bmw, I can be your wanker


TheGoober87

That's because she prefers a BMW* *The playground definition.


username32768

The last time I heard that was 30+ years ago! :-D


Remarkable_Smell_957

So a wankette?


TheBrokenCarpenter

My best mate and brother both drive BMWs, unfortunately they are wankers too.


Nuker-79

Tesla has entered the chat…..


RockRage--

Tesla drivers in the UK are pricks


Newyew22

Tesla drivers everywhere are pricks.


PebbleBeachesRock

The XR3i of electric cars…


vidoardes

Every time I hear someone say "all BMW drivers are wankers!" I feel like I've somehow woken up 40 years ago. It's totally not the 4x4 wankers using their 3 ton death tractors to drive to the shops that are the assholes. Twatish driving knows no brand, but it sure does enjoy a vehicle that is ridiculously oversized.


Bonusish

Audi/BMW SUV drivers are close to 100% on the arsehole scale


vidoardes

Oh yes, there's four main culprits in my opinion; Range Rover, Audi Q5/7, BMW X5/7 and Jag F-Pace. Also anyone who drives a flatbed pickup. Something about the size of the cars makes people suddenly get really aggressive.


yorkshirebrew

It’s because they don’t care what happens because they know that when they fuck up and hit someone they will be fine


Bonusish

I think the main problem with Audis is that somehow the company gets away with selling cars with non-functioning indicators


queljest456

Same with BMW. I heard you have to buy them as an optional extra


venarez

They turn themselves off, it's like they get tired or summat


venarez

Primarily Audis, bimmers and ranger rovers Then there is the ultimate road twat..... the Honda Jazz....


ComprehensiveKin

Oh, you're one of those now 😔


Ck_uk95

Top tier British response.


Empty_Breadfruit_676

I think it’s universal. In the US people who drive BMWs are typically entitled assholes! No clue why but it’s definitely a thing. 🤣


GoodAndBluts

it was, but now they have moved on to Teslas as the primary assholevagen


ErynKnight

My friend calls them iCar. XD


Empty_Breadfruit_676

🤣


Kazumara

My Grandpa drove a BMW, he was nice :( As a child I found the loud click clock sounds the indicators made really funny.


[deleted]

😂😂😂


Inventiveunicorn

If you think that BMW drivers are the worst, try driving one for a day. It's an eye-opener.


F1Ando

Good effort. Welcome to the team. Use of indicators is now prohibited


Icy-Enthusiasm-2719

In fact take the bulbs out so you arent inclined to make drivers aware of your intentions, indicator use is a serious infraction of the BMW club


Affectionate_Strain6

Check the indicators are working. Seems to be a common fault on all BMWs.


crlthrn

Audis are particularly prone to that as well. Steering issues on motorways are a thing too.


Dave4lexKing

The automatic outside lane to slip road in one go just before the chevrons guidance technology has really come a long way.


MorningToast

Just need to top up the blinker fluid from time to time


ExtensionMove570

I’m not sure indicators are standard equipment on all models.


ErynKnight

Like heated seats, indicators are subscription only.


BlackFireMage92

Everyone at work asks me how much my optional extra (the indicators) cost. 🙄🙄


brit_motown

Indicators or subscription only


selfishcabbage

You don’t need indicators when you own the road


JohnyBobLeeds

Regardless of anything else, the fact you're so happy is all that matters.


MrMycrow

Happiness is the achievement of goals! Enjoy your cruising :)


Tostig_Thungerfart

Indicators optional.


PresentationLow6204

I'm sure he made sure they weren't working before closing the sale.


BOBALOBAKOF

Turns out, despite the rest of the car needing 1600 quid of repairs, the indicators were in pristine condition.


brit_motown

Never been used


Timedoutsob

Literally. You have to pay for them on an additional monthly package now.


hitVTECyo

Nice car! Make sure the timing chain isn't rattling, a common issue on N47 E90s.


Timedoutsob

Make sure [insert any part] isn't falling off it's a common issue on [BMW model of your choice]. Will cost you [life savings, pension, college fund] to repair.


dipdipderp

Given the price of BMW repairs I reckon this is one time where the American college fund is a decent stand in rather than anything UK uni related...


winponlac

You'd never go to a dealer to repair a 15yo 3!


MagicalApe663

my e46 has done 165k miles, has only had a couple things go wrong which were because i hit a fox that ran out in front of me when I was doing 85... thankfully used parts are cheap :)


EntropyKC

Could you explain why it's a nice car? Is it a specific model that is desirable? I know people get pretty weird about BMWs where very specific models had a limited run in the factories so are quite rare, despite being otherwise not actually special.


hitVTECyo

Just being polite I suppose


Possible-Ad-2682

The N47 is fairly well documented now. What's less talked about is the chain problems that developed later on the N43 engines. Chains stretch, slippers break up and get sucked into the oil pump strainer causing oil starvation. Not BMWs finest hour when it comes to engines.


Sufficient_Dot7273

Wasn't it an oiler issue that caused failures? Also brake wear indicators on the front just go brittle and break constantly just chop an old one and short the plug


hitVTECyo

I thought it was the chain tensioner being no good


SubtleHerpes

I had a 2006 325m sport to drive, and they're such a lovely car. Just be extra attentive to using your indicators and leaving enough space behind vehicles!


castlerigger

Yea had the exact same - my fave car to date and I am forever wanting something that has that same split personality of the straight six… can just quietly chug about town with a gentle purr but you get out on some longer tarmac and put your foot down and it just comes to life…. Sigh, miss that car.


TartanGuppy

Well done, always good to achieve a goal. Enjoy it.


takesthebiscuit

Great choice the Focus is a cracking car!


Adventurous_Top_2877

It’s puma pal 🙈


rjgux

I’d puma pants in one of those


XBollockTicklerX

You’re now an expert in reading rear number plates


DaveC138

Something something indicators something asshole bad driver lol hurrrrr Congrats on the new car! Drive safe and enjoy it.


Cabbages121

Enjoy


OkGazelle4192

That’s great good for you, finding happiness in achieving a goal is great, makes me a happy to read 😍


Excellent_Battle_878

That’s a pretty decent price


Karcossa

Happy for you mate! You're not in the South West, are you, by chance? That street looks really familiar but then that could just be my mind playing tricks on me at this hour.


mcmullankevin

Enjoy it mate, the hard work and suffering to get your hands on it will make it more sweeter. Well played 👏🏻


WhiteyLovesHotSauce

Congrats mate! It looks lovely! Have a bloody good time and look after it!


its_crayg_not_creg

New camera?


Metric_Pacifist

Oh, you're one of *those* now 😔


Disturbed_Goose

Can't wait for you to ruin everyone's day by driving up their ass on the motorway lol


Tostig_Thungerfart

\* arse


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brit_motown

I find BMW drivers fall into two camps Arseholes who think that they have the right to do what the fuck they want Very good considerate drivers who how to handle a car .


Ross_Miller

We call them indicators overs here mate


MorningToast

Prove has one "o"


afireintheforest

Good mentality, same here! It’s weird how the majority here take the piss out of BMWs. I think this is the crab in the bucket phenomenon in action. Can’t handle anyone else being successful.


Mukatsukuz

we call them arseholes over here mate


Empty_Breadfruit_676

You will have to do a Reddit update at some point proving that you did not succumb to being an asshole. Congratulations though!


Nuker-79

Ah the designated decoy


Mukatsukuz

keep donkeys off motorways!


Nervous-Cream-6256

First off, congratulations. Secondly this car does come with indicators, I know it's German but they have them too. :)


UltimateGammer

What are those things sticking out the sides?


olidav8

Alan. Johnson's. Beamer.


Impulse84

Nothing compares to getting the car of your dreams. I remember when I saved up and bought an Impreza when I was 23. Loved that car.


danny7686

I had the 325i was a decent car .. have fun


LoveSeshDreams

Gentleman. Congrats


Volo_Kin

Your tears are just starting now.


crlthrn

There's a blue clunker/scrapper obscuring it. Try from the other side.


lynch1986

Nice e90. I do love an SE, especially in dark blue with the cream leather. Makes you look like a classy fellow who isn't trying too hard, unlike those ruffians in their silver M Sports.


AmINothing

I'll just go and hide in my silver E46 M Sport


lynch1986

You get a pass, they didn't actually make any e46's that weren't silver. :)


Pinball-Lizard

She's beautiful, you're beautiful, it's a beautiful day! Seriously though, great car, is that S or X drive platform?


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Pinball-Lizard

Oh, that'll be S-drive (meaning rear wheel drive, I remember it as "slippery" but that's because I live in Winterpeg) then. A 318D from 2008 is an E90, iiuc, but I'm already feeling like a poser because I googled this, so check that with someone who knows their onions, and we can talk about how SHINY IT IS!


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Odd-Variation941

I’m a mechanic, these cars are actually super easy to do a regular service. If you need any advice message me! But if you don’t service it regularly it’ll become waaaay more expensive than just what you paid.


GiGGLED420

If you have a windows laptop, buy an obd 2 cable for about £20 Then download ISTA software which you can find online for free. It’s the bmw dealership software so you can check any faults on your car for free


winponlac

Definitely do this. Saved me hundreds possibly thousands.


HappybytheSea

Don't let the turds get you down. The predictable jokes are inevitable and you'll get them forever, but it's a lovely car and you did so well working out how to get one for such a low price. Sounds like someone else is offering you good diy servicing and fault detection advice - hurrah for humanity! And enjoy your waaaay more comfortable commutes!


Pinball-Lizard

Honestly, you're in a great position to start learning the basics yourself! I had a 2011 323i, (which wasn't _nearly_ as shiny as yours), and it's one of the easiest cars I've owned to do basic maintenance on. Everything you need to access frequently is easy to get at, and you don't need specialist tools for most of it. My advice though? Spend the first few weeks just enjoying owning your new car, BMWs are made to be driven, so get in there and go see somewhere you've never seen! What're your plans this weekend?


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Pinball-Lizard

The toys inside get better, but I drove a 2022 recently as a rental, and honestly, not a lot better outside of creature comforts. I think you made a good investment, enjoy your commute 😊


Timedoutsob

And only 3 years of blood and tears to go until you give up and scrap it. Or someone crashes into you because you're driving like a wanker.


boohoobitchqueen

Another cunt in a beamer


Mau533y

Just remember that it does infact have indicators.


Dogger0071

Ok then


MystiicOstrich

Aye, each to their own lol


Joshy41233

A new car and your recreating the scream? Sounds like a productive day


emolloy93

They are such lovely cars! I had a 2005 320i and it was just fantastic to drive. So good that the owner of the Beemer garage I used to take it too went out and bought himself one after driving it. On a related note, I used to fill mine with premium and he filled his with regular. Exact same engine and year. He had to change the fuel filter and spark plugs every year, I only had to do mine every other year. I see yours is diesel from another comment, so might not matter as much but the petrol ones do like premium.


FlatDust4

2008 is old now? jesus...


inthepipe_fivebyfive

Settle a decade....do the indicators work?


Minichadderzz

Make sure to take the bulbs out of your indicators


Heps_417

>Runs like a dream Also spent 80% of the cars initial cost on repairs.


bugbugladybug

My fave thing to do is let people out and generally be delightful when driving the BMW. People seem genuinely surprised. Interestingly, when I drive the Dacia, so many more people let me out at junctions. There's a real difference in how people react to you in different cars...


therealtimwarren

Congratulations. It appears your car even comes with the paint option, unlike the car in the background that left the factory still in primer. Ask your neighbour what colour they are going to paint it.


JayGamingUK

Each to their own, but happy for you, i know the feeling. I spent roughly £2000 on a '98 shit box when I could have bought something up to 14 years newer and a lot better, but the heart wants what the heart wants. Roll on next week when I throw another £300 into it haha


Wanderingwhat

My dream car is an E30, used to have an e36 convertible but couldn’t pass my driving test and so ended up selling it. Congratulations, I know how much happiness this must have brought you!


davep1970

whose blood and whose tears? :)


RackOffMangle

Wheeeeyy. You got a car.


Master-Insurance-426

Congratulations 🥳


theflowersyoufind

Well done man, enjoy it.


Attorney0fBirdLaw

Can’t wait for you to cut me up mate


Dismal_Minute_7387

Congratulations mate hard work payed off


Pierogchen

Remember to indicate


Electrical-Plankton1

Does it have indicators after those repairs ? Lol


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featurenotabug

£1600 for the indicator fluid. It's difficult to get hold of for BMWs apparently


Ecstatic_Custard7009

beautiful motor. i wish more people would go back to living on what they could afford instead of making it normal to just finance everything, we all go round with thousand pound phones and 50 grand cars we don't own and it devalues it all so much to own a beauty like this and to know it is actually yours and you worked for it and earnt it is a lovely sight to see i hope you enjoy it, you deserve it


jvcgunner

What about those of us who own £50k cars and buy our IPhone X’s outright? :)


Ecstatic_Custard7009

by the looks of it that's a lot of people lmao. i suppose it makes no difference because most people would never know and everyone else would still have the same. kinda crazy that we can all have the same cars and phone as someone that earns 10x what we do lol, no wonder the rich go for super cars


zetecvan

Congrats on achieving your goal. As a fellow bmw owner, you will soon notice that it's the Audi and Golf drivers who are the tossers.


ParmoForTea

Buy some iron x wheel cleaner. Spray it on, leave for 5 then scrub off. Should really improve those wheels 👍🏻


Yesyesnaaooo

You are a terrible photographer. Just terrible. What are you doing?


Yolandi2802

What is it?


abzrocka

Horseless carriage, me thinks.


Mukatsukuz

from the logo on the wheels, it appears to be a knobmobile. Let's hope OP is the exception and drives it correctly, using indicators and such-like.


Posk419add1

Budget around £1k minimum a year for repairs. You're about to learn the most expensive car on the planet is a cheap German one. Happy motoring.


Aggravating_Pea7320

Try to not let the beemer soak into your brain, be the change we all want to see. If your behind get outta my arse im doing the speed limit some time 1-3mph over to try get you outta my arse, if your in front get off the fucking brake pedal and do the fucking speed limit.


[deleted]

FFS! another bmwanker!


ASeatedLion

Damn, nice Ford! Shame that BMW is in the way.


AverageBritishEmpire

Nice good work on getting it glad it makes you so happy


foodcannabishistory

Congratulations! Regardless of the year, that’s still a beautiful car in my opinion


Extreme-Acid

Where I live you need to wear a baseball cap driving that car, make your own lanes coming off roundabouts, get in just before the carriageway changes from 2 lanes to 1 and so on


Lou_Antony_Morris

You bought a new shadow? Did you wear the old one out?


bigtittygothgf69420

why spend 1600 on repairs and not on a better car. honest question.


jvcgunner

E90 is a fantastic car and looks like the M Sport. Bought my manual E90 325i in 2006 and still have it parked next to my Tesla Model Y. Funny thing is I drive it more than the Tesla, something about the in-line 6 cylinder which you can’t replicate anywhere. If you’re into modification and have some spare cash later down the line, get some black lines (look even better on a black car), tinting and a lip spoiler (if it hasn’t got one already) and it’ll look even more sharp. Also the M sport rims 225M might be a good shout at some point. Enjoy it.


wyvern-rider

Did you make sure to buy the indicators?


Dazzling-Event-2450

Lovely.


Hunglyka

A great car to sell the drugs from…..


WimbleWimble

£1600 for repairs. don't forget the £12403 to have indicators installed...


Animearoace

Fucking congratulations you wanker


afireintheforest

Nice. 5 series?


rainpatter

Congrats mate.


Cold_Butterfly9240

Up from the ashes, grow the roses of success. Well done mate


Living-Travel2299

So many shitposts on this sub. Idc about your flex dude.


Immediate_Bat9633

You care *so* little that you went out of your way to tell everyone *exactly* how little you care!


Living-Travel2299

The old cliche response. Still dont care about his self indulgent flex post bud. I care about not seeing shitposts all the time instead of something interesting. This sub is like 50% boring shitposts. Pretty easy to figure that out but just incase you lack the brainpower, i spelt it out ;)


Sventipluk

This is depressing.


Isotope_Soap

The only thing more costly than a new BMW is a used BMW! Edit: Lol, downvotes from the butt-hurt! Automotive techs giggle at you lot. You keep us employed! The usual saying amongst us goes, “ If you can’t afford a new Mercedes, you certainly cannot afford a used one!”


EwanWhoseArmy

Oh posh it has indicators an optional extra seldom taken up


inkfreak123

Was looking at getting one of these next, petrol business edition I wanted for the screen, always loved them! Well done and hope you enjoy the car!


YouNeedAnne

Alan.. Johnson's.. Beamer..


HelpMePls___

You can use our BMW lane on the motorways now, be sure to flash your lights when other inferior cars are using it


Danmor6201

Congratulations you've just spent your hard earned money to get shafted by vag for the next few years of your life


quellflynn

keep your distance and don't assume that indicators mean anything.


Thatsnotfeetthatsme

Best £700 you'll ever spend.


therealstealthydan

Congratulations, enjoy your new found freedom! Nice looking car too


super-fire-pony

I’ve always liked the look of BMWs but I’m put off by the lack of features such as indicators.


dragstar650_yam

Gotta give it a valet man, I wish my wife was as dirty as your car


Adventurous-Yam-8260

Did you get the optional extra indicators?


Traditional_Tank5140

Congrats on the whip 😜


outoftheboxgunpla

When buying a bmw do you have to take an advanced driving test that lets you drive 2 inches from the car in front? And remember, if the speed limit is 30, you have the bmw obligation to try and go at least 50, pushing all other cars out of the way


venarez

Congrats dude, enjoy a bit of sideways action on roundabouts in the wet when you get chance


Sufficient_Dot7273

My 320 used to eat rear radial arms so I changed them before the mot every year. Same chassis so probably will get the same issue dead easy to do though 2 bolts a side job jobbed


Smooth-Wait506

Did you get the model that comes with indicators?


pendulum1997

Brave pill


Wanksy-

3600 and you've been carving it for 2 years?


jesusrocksnads

are you a professional photographer?


Spenguy

It's a good thing that it's an older one. I've heard off tons of people in the trade that the late 90s to late 2000s BMW and Audis are the best ones. They're new enough to come with all the mod cons, but not new enough that they started really cost cutting on them. You've got yourself a nice one there. Plus, you won't need to [pay monthly just to turn the fucking heated seats on!](https://www.theverge.com/2022/7/12/23204950/bmw-subscriptions-microtransactions-heated-seats-feature)


founderofself

Congrats


ItDoesntMatter59

A camera?


PuffDragon66

Did it come with an indicator?