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[Postgame Thread] Texas Defeats Rice 58-0

[Postgame Thread] Texas Defeats Rice 58-0

Poobeard76

Why does Rice play Texas?


codymiller_cartoon

not because it's easy, because it is hard


travisty913

You misspelt hawd


applesauce91

Hahd*


Wampus_Cat_

*checks flair* How dare you quote JFK.


codymiller_cartoon

UT is in Austin , not Dallas well technically there is a satellite campus there, but it's not the main campus


Pristine_Ice_363

Not sure if you're talking about the MBA program that has a weekend offering in Dallas or UT Dallas itself, which I would describe not as a satellite campus but as a separate university within the University of Texas System, but in true Dallas fashion UT Dallas is actually in Richardson. They even lied on my degree; it says "awarded in Dallas" even though nothing about the University is in Dallas lol.


SirSpanksAlot1992

Nothing in Dallas is really in Dallas lol.


110397

Except the people who live in the suburbs when you ask where they are from


FILTER_OUT_T_D

Where are you from? “Dallas!!” Oh cool, where in Dallas? “… Mesquite.”


Wampus_Cat_

**Texas is #Texas!**


Majormlgnoob

Texas voted for him Edit: I just got the joke lol


Simple_War3514

5th party system


Claudius-Germanicus

Because that challenge is one we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win.


well---shoot

We choose to go to the Moon


dothemath

Not because it is hard, but because it doesn't have teams with "KANSAS" sequentially spelled out in their name.


dietmrfizz

And the other things


TheFlyingBoat

We choose to go to the moon in this decade 🚀 and do the other things, not because they're easy but because they are hard.


ATXBeermaker

To the moon, motherfuckers!!!!


Exciting_Pineapple_4

Kennedy predicted GME


codebluebird

Money.


what_user_name

When going to the moon is easier than winning a football game....


Pretty_Good_At_IRL

Beans was unavailable.


AstroWorldSecurity

Space or something.


bigpig1054

I always loved the humanity of that line as a way to rationalize the marvelous task of going to the moon


ja2854

They need to play a school in Houston but not one that can beat them.


SCHEIRMANFORCONGRESS

Ding ding ding!


OneLegAtaTimeTheory

Why does Texas play Rice?


ifuckwithit

WE WANT UTSA


XCalibur672

ALL MEEPS NO BRAKES


canderson180

Meep! Meep!


2bloodnitro

No, just Meep. They paid me to say it once and then doubled up on the soundtrack. Cheap bastards.


vicious_pink_lamp

gimme the two wins >:)


ifuckwithit

Your flair confuses the hell out of me but I love it


Brownie_McBrown_Face

You can’t handle this MEEP


filthypotatos

Careful what you ask for


adamjm99

Sark’s loss last week was by a greater margin than any of Tom Herman’s losses Sark’s win today was by a greater margin than any of Tom Herman’s wins Now THAT’S Texas Football


footynation

That's classic Tom Herman though. Every fucking game felt close. I remember half of them going to overtime. It didn't matter who the fucking opponent was. It didn't matter if we were favorites or underdogs. Deep in the fourth, both teams would still be in it and it would come down to whether Ehlinger would be successful on the final drive. Fucking ridiculous.


djcrumples

It was exciting tho, can’t deny it


Dr_Findro

Yeah, you can at least say I was invested in nearly every game


LonghornNaysh

Makes you miss Ehlinger


nbunkerpunk

Does it though? I personally am ok with not having every other game go to overtime.


horny_zombie

It took at least 3 years off my life.


SantasButhole

Made for good TV


ZiggyStarManDust

Not bowl-games though! That man could coach a bowl game


No_Poet_7244

This game provides insight into the difference between Texas under Sark, as opposed to Strong or Herman; when Texas is the better team they actually *look like it and play like it.* This game is evidence that we can trust he will get things turned around, and that even though this year is probably going to suck, we can trust he will get it figured out.


Gidnik

thats because every game was close.


footynation

Except that one time we played San Jose State


domxwicked

Thats also OU under Riley lol


TheGhostOfBobStoops

Yes but Riley is in a different stratosphere than either Sark or Herman. OU fans need to chill out with being too frustrated that Riley doesn't blow teams out


anandj12345678909876

In fairness to Herman part of that difference is the situations they walked into. Riley had a much better situation to start with. Now, Riley is hands down the better offensive coach between the two.


ATXBeermaker

If Herman dialed to 11 means we win a natty one year but go 0-for the next year, I’m okay with that.


funf_

LSU is side-eyeing this comment hard rn


beignets4

No, just nodding


DoughnutLongjumping5

So are the ladies on LSU’s campus


DatsyukTheGOAT

Now this is a spicy comment lol


mtzehvor

We sacrificed all our success for the next two years and transferred it to 2019 to make sure someone other than Alabama or Clemson would win a natty. Now if only we could get the rest of CFB to stop being so selfish and make a similar sacrifice.


2bloodnitro

Sort of want?


Rushderp

I’d do it. I mean, we have the trophy ready and everything.


horny_zombie

Beating all of Herman's stats this season


QuackNate

So you're saying it's all part of the plan


TexasDonghorns

Yeah we only got killed by Arkansas last week because we didn't want the SEC to know we are actually really good. We got em right where we want em now!


Cormetz

5 Dimensional chess man! And Sark isn't even in Mensa!


bigjayrulez

Can't wait for a better response that "ok cool, hook em"


ku24-ut21

what the fuck? how am I supposed to make sweeping generalizations of the entire Sarkisian tenure based on only one game now?


agray20938

Just ignore what actually happens, and you're good


Aphrobang

Easy. You just keep making them based on the most recent game played and then change your stance entirely every seven days.


MenShouldntHaveCats

Lol yeah that poster is a trip


rawrberry_

Well I was worried because I figured Texas was going to shit the bed again. I am glad I was wrong.


2CHINZZZ

Last week we were looking ahead to our 3rd most important rival, Rice


Davidellias

Funny cause their also Alabama's 3rd most important rival too.


Sniperoso

Rivalry alludes to a competitive history. Bama needs to show up to a game before I’d consider it a rivalry.


dysonRing

It is funny Alabama is to Rice what Texas is to Vanderbilt, the only reason I am excited about the move, to re-write historical wrongs of losing to better academic schools.


Lonely_Ranger19

Poor rice they had to be our stress ball/punching bag for what happened last week. Not even a pity field goal.


dysonRing

They got a pity re-try after the first attempt was blocked, and still missed. There are a few things missing from that thorough domination, basically line play which is king, but aside from that it felt like it was the double aughts again.


redpowah

If Rice > Bama And Texas > Rice And Arkansas > Texas Then Arkansas > Bama


AudiieVerbum

This math checks out. Also, Maryland is better than North Carolina.


toiletdestroyer1321

Pardon my French but, Fuck Maryland.


[deleted]

My man.


MadRedX

Pls we are only but a humble SEC team who wants to find a world beyond the pit of despair with Vanderbilt. We just want to be a team fans aren't embarrassed about. We even recite the Men's Prayer before every game to remind us of our impending doom. 'We are a football team, but we can change. If we have to, I guess"


HoorayForSnail

Excuse me, that pit of despair in football is the price you pay to be surrounded by rich kids who couldn't get into Harvard. I mean really, who wouldn't consider that a worthy trade-off?


debaterthatchases

This math also checks out the n the basis that Arkansas>Rice>Bama.


redpowah

well that implies that i paid attention to arkansas earlier this season


c2dog430

Subscribe


hascogrande

John/Jack: “Why does Rice play Texas? We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too.”


Bigcheese1211

I'm no statistician but 427 rushing yards seems pretty good


bulbs1579

I can confirm that 427 is quite a lot of rushing yards


KIDWHOSBORED

Yeah but what does Harvard think?


urnotserious

Much much yards. Good stuff.


toiletdestroyer1321

That's way more then 7 rushing yards. Not sure on the numbers though.


MalachorFive

[4 RBs with 7+ ypc](https://i.imgur.com/UB1z6u0.jpg)


CaptainCrazy110

Texas defeats Rice by 58, Arkansas defeats Rice by 21. Therefore, Texas is 37 points better than Arkansas. But Arkansas beat Texas by 19. Therefore Arkansas is 56 points better than Arkansas. Q.e.d.


Kezzup

Damn, Arkansas sucks. Arkansas is great.


CaptainCrazy110

You've just passed the entry exam! Welcome to the Fandom! Your hog hat and complimentary heart medication is in the mail.


John_Tacos

What was the score of your spring game?


anandj12345678909876

that was cathartic after last week. Largest margin of loss since strong last week. LARGEST MARGIN OF VICTORY SINCE 2005. Great work bouncing back after getting punched in the mouth. Lets crush tech and please. please. please. Beat fat pat.


dysonRing

This game mirrored that 70-3 Big XII championship, three digits were within reach if the coaches were assholes.


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WinstonCaeser

58>56


Campron

Fun stats from the game: - 4 Texas running backs scored and their 5th got touches in the red zone. - Texas did not punt. - Texas let their third string kicker score a point. - This is Texas’ first shutout win since September 9th, 2017, when they beat San Jose state 56-0


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Sir_Fusion

*Kirk Ferentz has left the chat*


Aphrobang

My only complaint is we didn't even try to throw it after Card had that near disastrous pick six (disastrous in that it was a horrendous throw and would have ruined the shutout). Not saying we should have been airing it downfield up fifty but I wanted to see the young TEs get some work. Skinner commits soon and having our offense throwing like two passes a game to TEs isn't going to get it done (even if those tend to be for TDs).


coleyboley25

At least Casey got Wiley and Brewer involved before he was sat.


Seletara

That felt good. Our RB room is insane


ATXBeermaker

Seriously, every time there was a big run it took a hot minute for me and my buddy to figure out who it was. Good problem to have.


Seletara

Having 2 Robinsons probably doesnt help that.


ATXBeermaker

It’s like the ending to The Three Amigos with these guys.


CaptainDonald

*Sad hooting noises*


rawrberry_

Go play some Tales of Arise if y~~ou~~ want to hear some happy hooting noises.


lolsamlol

They didn’t lose to food.


toiletdestroyer1321

This comment is sponsored by Mayonnaise


Prolingus

I’m not sure what to make of this Texas team. You might say “it’s just Rice” but this was the biggest won vs Rice in more than a century. And this Rice team was tied with Arkansas in the 4th two weeks ago. So idk bro but tonight was fun.


funwithtrout

It was fun, but I was legit pissed and yelling at the sideline when Rice moved past the 50 on that last drive. Seriously almost ruined the entire game.


MachoRandyManSavage_

Well that's basically a win against Arkansas then, right?


Pm_me_somethin_neat

Some would argue that it means more than an actual head to head match up


GARY_BUSEYS_ASS

Transitive power knows no equal


AesarPhreaking

Idk what to think about anything this year at this point. Everything is crazy. Congrats on the win, and congrats on keeping the #1 rule, “Better not lose to food”


thecreepyfriend

We drinking that premium gas tonight, boys.


rawrberry_

Is it mixed with ethanol?


nbunkerpunk

It's leaded.


C-Human

It's Bevo methane.


3rd-and-Witten

WHOOO DAT? (Get it cause rice owls)


merehypnotist

As a Texas and saints fan, I approve


crc2993

Texas Arkansas - Texas loses by 19 Rice Arkansas - Rice loses by 21 Texas Rice - Texas wins by 58 58 > 21 + 19 suck it everyone else /s


rawrberry_

Can't argue against the math.


LTweet

We’re definitely not as bad as our performance against Arkansas seemed to indicate. Thompson looks like the right guy, we should be considerably better moving forward


canderson180

4D chess. The SEC has to think we can’t hang when we get there.


lordpenguin9

Worked for Mizzou for a couple years


tgrosson

What a coincidence, we're not as good as our performance against Arkansas seemed to indicate!


MadRedX

Is Arkansas even as good as our performances seems to indicate? Find out next week when the Georgia Bulldogs attempt to maul us. Edit: Nevermind, we return to Texas to win the SWC


mbh223

If you guys could not get your ass kicked in that game, that’d be great.


jeffsterlive

Yeah quality loss is quality loss. If Arkansas wins the SEC West I wouldn’t even be mad.


BourbonB

Texas is (running) Back(s)


IAmSportikus

Now if our Oline can hang against good teams we can actually use our RBs


toiletdestroyer1321

Besides blocking for the pass and run, the O Line is doing great.


Jamcrunch

Texas beat Rice 58-0. Arkansas beat Rice 38-17. With the transitive property, Texas would surely beat Arkansas. I wonder what would happen if these two teams played?


Freakypotato44

Certainly we will never know, but both teams look great at 2-0!


Cormetz

Yeah it was weird having a bye week in week 2, but good thing it let us prepare for a tune up game with Rice before conference play begins.


averagepanda051

Never happened so couldn't tell ya buddy


Atchles

That would be a close and competitive game, would be fun to bring the rivalry back for the first time since 2014


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rawhide_koba

Good news! Pretty soon we’ll be rematching them annually!


anandj12345678909876

Hopefully arky was the wake up call this team needed.


default-username

Nah. Keep playing like we have something to prove. We'll get a chance at redemption next year probably.


TimeOrCrayonsIV

We've got one next year. Arkansas will start prepping for it in spring ball.


dysonRing

They are already prepping for it right now, I think after the move we need to move Arkansas to the #2 spot in the rivalry chart.


adamjm99

[Lol](https://imgur.com/02VoFb1)


ifuckwithit

4 of those were UT flairs. We really are our own worst enemies lol


gordogg24p

Or they know that the universe is watching, so they were pre-emptively jinxing it. Those people are heroes.


CaptainDonald

Aggies cared a lot about this game lol


Bank_Gothic

I will be paying close attention to their game against Arky next week


No11223456

We probably gonna lose so make sure to be somewhere you can celebrate like mad.


coleyboley25

Wild hogs are a massive nuisance in Texas. I think this is something we can agree on.


rawhide_koba

/r/CFB with garbage takes on Texas football? Get outta here


N-Your-Endo

r/cfb pours milk in the bowl before the cereal


rawhide_koba

/r/CFB puts beans in their chili


N-Your-Endo

r/cfb thinks good BBQ is defined entirely by sauce and not by the meat


Atchles

r/cfb doesn't use their turn signal


urnotserious

/r/CFB drives 5 miles under the limit in the passing lane.


M3d10cr4t3s

/r/cfb eats their corn dogs stick first


KlondikeChill

r/cfb goes to a steak house and orders a caeser salad


jeffsterlive

Why the hell am I on this sub then with such heathens?


coleyboley25

“Lol fuck Texas”


TheGhostOfBobStoops

this but unironically sorry SEC bros!


resvzb0a

I mean it was clearly just for fun


rawhide_koba

I can never tell with how hard the hate-jerks go in this sub


resvzb0a

I don’t think anybody actually thought Texas would lose to rice. I voted for rice but all in good fun


ifuckwithit

People say this shit when we win. But when we lose it’s a “fuck Texas pile-on” which the Arkansas game showed. Saying “it was all in good fun” might be true for you but definitely not the majority of this sub lol.


jacktotheb

Anyone who disagrees with this should take a look at the postgame thread from last week


hells_cowbells

That's just great. I think almost every current or former B12 member is in the Rice votes. And LOL at four Texas flairs voting for Rice.


Anus_Targaryen

I only regret that I have but one vote to give for {Rice}


StarvedRock314

Wait is that real? What the fuck


default-username

I mean, that's kinda funny. People who otherwise might have voted seriously probably noticed it started to swing toward rice and then just piled on. It's not like those people would have actually put money on Rice straight up.


discodiscgod

Tune in next week as Texas takes on Quinoa. Rice should play Brown so we can watch a Brown Rice matchup. Alright I’m out of bad jokes..for now.


WashingtonDiecast

we’re staying in the carb family with a matchup with the fighting tortillas of Texas Tech


6FootMidget93

This was a game...


rawhide_koba

GAS


Poopallah

Brakes?


6FootMidget93

NONE


ATXBeermaker

NEGATIVE


Atchles

THEY'RE GONE


UMeister

Something something why rice plays Texas something something


Dahalasu

We lost all the breaks at the Arkansas game and went all gas lmao. You love to see it. I know one battle doesn't make us conquerors and all that but I hope last week's game was a wake up call and this is a sign of good things to come.


JJ_Kraut

HAHAHAHAHA GET WRECKED, WHERE ARE ALL THOSE GUYS FROM LAST WEEK'S THREAD?!?! GUYS!?!?!?!?


Jamcrunch

Oh, I'm here, thanking y'all for making our resumé look that much nicer :)


hypercube42342

Please beat the crap out of A&M next week And then lose out, idc


Podoboo322

Bloomgren has been at Rice for too long now to field such an objectively abysmal team this year.


JPLonghorn20

That was so cathartic.


Tsquared10

Texas with Arkansas: 21-40 Texas with Rice: 58-0. Thank you for the suggestion!


Bobson-_Dugnutt

BAMA WANTS RICE


Candi_Fisher

We have a QB.


youboo4

Rice was all breaks no gas


Levowitz159

I could also defeat rice, it's literally a grain. Delicious with chicken and some hot sauce though, 10/10


zombiesartre

It’s great when you want a thousand of something


mensty

[[Alabama v Rice]]