It’s frustrating when you love them still but they’re no longer there. Being blindsided hurts more than my experience of amicable breakup or when I know it’s really toxic. We were really good together but I was betrayed when I still love my ex. With that, moving on is the hardest and you chase in your mind and the hundred what ifs run crazy and shit. You also know that you’re serious, talk about marriage and living together, the amount of money and time to be wasted just because of breakup. None of anyone’s business but you have to explain to your parents and friends and on his side why we are no longer together. Trying to begin again with talking stage and shit dating apps. Having it perfect already but my ex left and never gave me the chance


Im with you. Completely. Not looking forward to having to move on and see new people.


Wholeheartedly agree… we are just loving creatures that poured all of our beings on someone, just to let that love be betrayed and broken…


The hardest part is having to convince yourself about not caring for them


Sometimes they make that easy


Iono even when you know they were bad for you you still want them. I left my bf because he disrespected me too often and always put blame on me, the final straw was a few weeks ago and I had it…he was a total narc and out last conversation he wanted me to stay with him so I can be his support like always. I felt so cheap when he said that, like I was just a means to his ends. I ended it and he somehow is mad at me…like he didn’t get what he wanted from me and has convinced himself I was the problem. I wouldn’t put it past him to even think he ended things with me and not the other way around … but I’ve been good, less stressed, less anxiety, no longer questioning him, what he’s doing, his motives…but wtf I find myself thinking about him because we were close for 2 years


I feel you sister. I had to break up with my narc too and it was so hard. It still is. So much disrespect and blame. And now they are still projecting their pettiness and anger onto me in emails... I'm not angry at all, I'm heartbroken. And I haven't been petty once. But that's their twisted warped perception of the world. I'm going NC. But it's hard. I dream about her every night.


Yes… I was fine the first few hours. And then when the realization hits, it hurted as heck…


Always hits me when my head hits the pillow....which is a terrible time to hit. It hits all day...but shutting off the light and laying down alone, literally puts me into a panic...somehow I manage to fall asleep nightly....but this has been going on for 5 years. I really believe this breakup is what led to my Breast Cancer.


That’s me too.. I can try to stay strong during the day.. but the moment I get privacy, on my bed, in a cold bed, my tears just can’t stop flowing…


Those tears...the ones that just run off your face and your not trying to cry...you are actually trying NOT to cry....and they just flow. Yes, I totally get this....and it is AWFUL...the most LONELY, SCARY feeling in the World.


I’m still fortunate because I’m young, I have friends and family, I’m learning my worth, I can stay positive 😊, and I had lessons I learned in that relationship. So although I cry, and I’m hurting, it won’t be forever!


Exactly and even thou I am OLD...LOL.....I can also find someone if I want to....plenty of guys have approached me. I am just not ready. And my X put in my head....don't do something stupid that you will regret and end up hurting that person. He is right..if I date...I'm going to compare.....the new guy would not get the FULL ME. You have time right now to heal...and when you feel better....you will realize this was for a good reason.


Yes 🥰 hope when the right person comes, I’ll be ready


I've been alone my whole life, struggled with social anxiety / being shy and introverted or whatever, since I was veeeeery young and so I was so used to staying home alone pretty much every single day. Sometimes I literally saw my friends or anyone just once a month or less. Though this is a different type of loneliness. Way worse than the one I've felt my whole life. I've tried to replace her with friends and family, and I spend time with them, but it just isn't the same. I feel so alone even when I'm with others. We used to spend so much time together and now, when I'm alone and feel that intense unsettling loneliness, all I could think is "we should be spending this time together" and that feeling.. that is the worst part of the whole situation for me. I miss my best friend, and all the good times we've had and could've continued to have.


I’ve always been pretty comfortable alone, but have never felt a loneliness like this before. It’s hard to go from the comfort of a relationship that felt right to just nothing.


Me, less the friends, don’t have any.


This is exactly ME....I have always been a "loner" and then I met this guy...and I didn't want to be alone and only wanted to be with him 24/7. I even asked him to quit his job as I WAS making good money and I was out on leave and wanted him home with me......LOL. I've never been into the small talk family or friend stuff...always craved the intimacy and comfort a man brought. I have never been without a man my whole adult life...very long relationships.....22 years for one, 7 for the last 2......but the last 1 was a KILLER...literally.... I don't have a waking moment that I don't regret kicking him out...I had to because he and my son did not get along and then he could not be mature enough to handle my "schedule" since he lives a little further now I decided I was not always going to be the one running there just becaue he didn't like my son. I act strong about it...but it kills me.


Are you me? I feel this so much. This kind of loneliness is so much different and absolutely the worst. I miss having a best friend. I can talk and spend time with my friends and friends, but it's definitely not the same. I still feel so alone being with other people, but with my ex, it felt so natural being together and I miss it so much.


Exactly :<


Letting go of the hope y’all will get back together and everything will be how it used to be. They broke up with us. It’ll never be the same. It’s like cheating, once it happens you’ll always remember it and never really let go of that pain they gave to you even if y’all got back together. My take on it at least. 🤷🏽‍♂️ I’ve been NC for 4-5months now and I’m just now letting go of the hope I kept having. I gotta understand she left. She decided she didn’t want me in her life no more. SHE DID. I needa move on. And god how hard this shit is. It’s so painful. It hurts so much. But we will get through it . I promise ❤️


I’m only two weeks in but have to remind myself every day, usually multiple times a day, that she doesn’t want me, she’s done with what we had, start moving on


Exactly bro, we gotta heal now . And don’t get me wrong it’ll be hard asf. And it still is for me kinda, but I’m slowly getting better. Feel better bro❤️‍🩹




So true


This is the hardest part. I’m basically dead to him.


Same.. he told me to fuck off. I still cannot believe this is his true colors..


After the intense grieving process (about 10 weeks) I actually really enjoy being alone. I love to think and to focus on the things that interest me so I am not so lonely. The hardest thing, even more than the sex to be honest, is not having my silly and fun best friend around. We really had some beautiful moments. Heh. I will always love that woman.


I feel you man…. I’m 4 days in. Grieving hard. Hope to be where you’re at in 10 weeks


Yeah, week 11 was really good. After going NC again the last 3 weeks has given me a ton of time to reflect. Regardless of my exes selfishness or issues (I had issues too), I feel really bad how I acted during our breakup process. I wish I didn't put her through that, because at the end of the day I am very emotionally strong. She became so angry with me during the process, and I will always regret that because I only want the best for her. I am old school but I realized that us men really need to be centered as we are inviting the girls into our lives, not the other way around. Somehow I let things slip and became so lazy...she was so hard to please, but I think she really may have been worth it if I had known what to do and how to act. I am really not sure to be honest if I could keep her pleased. We were very different people in terms of life goals, morals and holding ourselves accountability. Post breakup, I learned so much about myself, healthy boundaries, staying emotionally centered, leading more, my mistakes, how I should have ACTIVELY listened, and how to keep a girl happy in the relationship. After reflection and also checking out Coach Corey Wayne (this guys info is insane), I know I'll be an even better partner for whomever comes next. I'm at a point wishing and praying for my friends happiness and fulfillment, at a distance for now. I really hope she's doing well.




I guess it's dealing with "what it could have been". I mean, I had so many plans and I was so sure we were going to achieve a lot together...and also seeing him move on and be the man I wanted him to be for me to someone else.


It's even worse when you love them but can't take them back bc of what they did.


The hardest part would be seeing them doing REALLY fine after the break up as if you didn't mean anything to them.


Same. I think im hurting more because I know he’s fine 🫠


Took me a while to stop checking on him just to see how he is doing 🥲 everytime I see that he's doing good, it lowkey hurts haha


This is very hard to accept. Especially after spending 18 years together.


You know what’s worse? Finally realizing how horrible they treated you during the relationship, but because I was “in love” I never cared about any of those and considered it normal. Until I wanted more, and he put the blame on me. Then dumped me.


I was in a similar place, only after months of wanting better, talking openly about how I felt with him and what I needed, and having him become angrier, more controlling, passive aggressive, etc. I was the one who left. You deserve better than this. You aren't his secretary, sidekick or therapist, you're meant to be his partner with an equal share of love, patience, understanding and respect. Wish you the best moving forward. 💕


I think it’s the final phase to be honest. The phase where your over the actual breakup but then to let go forever is a surreal place to be imo




Exactly!!!!! Exact same feels




Yeah I am feeling that hard right now. Like I’ve accepted that the breakup probably was for the best but damn I miss the person I used to hang out with everyday for 5 years


Especially when you don’t have any friends it can be depressing.


The hardest part for me has been feeling like it was all a lie and wondering how someone who used to pretend a day they cared so much and I could always rely on them; disappeared over night.


The hardest part during this phase is overanalyzing the last days and trying to pin point when they stop loving us like they use to. My last breakup drove me up the wall because I was trying to figure out what I could've done for them to wake up and decide to never want me again


Yea. I had been asking almost daily if he was going to leave again as he had left me 6 months prior and he kept saying “ no babe “ and “ I’ll prove it “


Hardest part for me rn is fighting the thoughts of him sleeping with someone else


Oh god yeah, I’ve been struggling with that


same omg it hurts so bad thinking about it


When they know how you feel and that you still love them but still go ahead and basically spit in your face and start going out with a new guy not even a week after the break up


*\*Currently experiencing all of these things after the end of a 7 year relationship a few months ago \** \- Seeing them do the things you needed them to do after you've left \- Still loving them but knowing deep down in your soul they cannot be what you need them to be \- Not wanting to break up but knowing it's the only solution as you have tried EVERYTHING else in your power to make it work \- Knowing they still love you and don't want the break up to happen; trying to make sure they are okay whilst trying to recover and make yourself okay again too \- Knowing in your soul you'll never get back together but them thinking you might \- Knowing they don't fully understand why you won't can't/work together \- Knowing they are sad without you, but also knowing you are not sad without them =/


It hurts when your brain is like "this is how your life is now"... especially in those moments when you would've had your partner's company. ie: Watching your shared fav TV show.. now you watch alone.




Ah, I think this is mindset IMO. I do a lot of meditation. I left a really nice last text message full of love and gratitude for the lessons learned and cherished moments before going no contact and blocking, which I initiated about 2.5 months into the breakup. She knows I still still love her. To me, we'll always have that connection in that particular space and time in the past. I still get sadness and anger about 2% of the time, but I choose gratitude for the other 98%. I learned and grew so much from this experience. Perhaps she does not think about me at all, and I have come to terms with it if that is the case. Something that has helped me is we are all the universe being aware of itself, in human bodies. Our time together meant something in a specific time, I am sure of it. I think it's okay to always honor, that time, space and feelings that I KNOW were there in both of our little hearts. Wishing you all the best in your healing journeys.




Is folgers in your cup?


Folgers? I don't drink that DEVIL'S JUICE!


Yup. Week 1 for me. Feeling a bit empty without him. This sucks.


Will happen several times in our lives unfortunately…not just with romantic partners, platonic ones too.


So damn true.


My ex was my best friend and I did everything with him, my whole life i’ve always been alone until he came around. I wish I could make friends so easily like he could, I miss him and his company but he’s better off without me and I need to accept that. Losing him is the hardest pain i’ve ever had to deal with. 💔


Im so sorry 💜


Knowing you still love one another 💔


Yup. Mine was extra rough bc I got him a job with my dad and my dad tries to talk to me about him sometimes and I told him not to ever talk about him. My dad still loves him but anyone that can throw me away like he did has no place in my life. Now I look for ppl that actually care and will express their feelings for me bc I am worthy of love.


Knowing you can never haver them again.


Believing it’s real


yeah its been pretty hard two weeks especially when its fresh as much as still love her my brother gave me a good advice in a way relationship come and go and if they weren't willing to keep going well its there loss because they dindn't love you in the end even though you did so onto the next better thing in life and look back close the chapter. I think there is more truth in that advice because hey his happily in a long-term relationship with two kids and his own house. So i guess he knows more wise things but im learning to let go in a way.


The other day....I was really DOWN about this...and I kept singing over and over in my head "Now your just somebody that I used to know". The shock of it, even after 5 years...has not left me.....I hate this exact feeling you speak about, I am a person that communicates (at least) with all of my X's but not this last one...he is all in or all out....and I hate that.


Especially when you don’t have any friends it can be depressing.


I hate it, hate this feeling. Just want everything to end


The hardest part is trying to remain friends. Loving someone to the core whilst knowing both parties are seeing other people. But just knowing that the love is still there, a whole lotta love. Thats whats hard.


I feel that so bad, I just feel like I don't know them at all now, I'm not even sure I could have loved them had I met them this year...


Yea, I hate change and I’ve gone through so many (unwanted) changes in my life lately, especially people leaving me. And when I finally thought I found some stability with someone and got used to it, it all fell apart. Now I find it very difficult to build something new, I’m so tired and I wish I could fall asleep and wake up and be with someone that I can trust because he will not leave me


To accept that the Future you had planned is no longer viable.


For me it’s maintaining distance and keeping to no contact. Keeping healthy boundaries after. I think it’s rooted in the same thing you said, it’s hard losing someone who you put so much energy into and got energy from. Or also it’s hard to not talk to someone you talked to nearly daily for so long. I feel tech makes no contact so much harder. I can be overly impulsive sometimes and having that person only a click or a tap away it’s so bad for me. I end up pushing them away ever further when I break no contact, but my damn phone made it way too easy to do. Even if I have them blocked it’s only one extra tap to undo it. Edit: I feel bad about my last ex bc I ended being a nervous mess when I broke NC, and I ended up double texting and said I felt I deserved a better explanation abt the breakup and she blocked my number. We were texting for a bit, but I think it was hard on both of us if I had to take a guess. Hope I wasn’t too stupid there :(


definitely the emptiness that comes after, not having someone to come home to, sleep next to, watching them move on and caring less and less everyday. really just becoming strangers with memories together


that you know this relationship was not all your faults but your ex made those blame on you, and he deleted all our pictures from his phone and told his friends that i can't control my temper. but never think about his faults. he also said he can keep his friends with benefits number and keep touching with them. and i bought him birthday cake he throw it in a trash its hard to move on , but his actions helped me a lot