Ugh sorry youāre going through it too. It really does hurt like nothing else. Working my ass off to heal and it gets a little better almost every day. Hope you are getting there as well.
Itās a slow process. Some days wave hits me but getting there. Time is the best to put distance between me and the event. Working. Going to gym. The usual. Best of luck to you in your journey. We will get there !!!
Monkeybranched during the last 3 months of our 8 year relationship by cheating with a coworker, before telling me that she was already falling out of love in August then breaking up with me after 3 weeks.
She tried to reconcile in September but I refused as I felt hurt that she wasn't able to choose me when I asked her end of August.
When I went to see her October, she was already seeing the guy she cheated on me with
Cheated on me for almost the entire relationship, was with another dude who to be fair didn't know about me, then basically gaslit me, threatened me with suicide and things like that, all around a terrible person. Oh she was also engaged to the other guy.
Yeah it's not a nice situation at all, she cheated on me like that knowing full well I'd been cheated on in the past and all that, still I sometimes get the urge to reach out, it's only been a few weeks, but I fight it because honestly fuck her lol
Lie. That's one thing I told him fucks with me mentally bc of my last relationship. I told him how much I valued honesty no matter what it was. He still lied and it hurt me deeply.
Activated a trauma response from my past a day after i told her how it is activated and what the response is. We were in the car and her and her friend thought it was comical. I hardly spoke the rest of the day...
Good riddance!
The whole last two weeks together. She led me into a false sense of security thinking everything was OK after a big fight. She us d those two weeks to break up with me in her head.
Mine cheated on me several times. The first time i found out (or rather the first person i found out about) was the same week i found out i was pregnant. I did not go through with the pregnancy. He then told me about another person and then i found out about another who he was seeing throughout our whole entire relationship (2 years at that point). Great guy
God, there are so many.
8 years together and 2 kids, and never made me a birthday/Christmas/mothers day card, got me a gift, wished me a good day, acknowledged itā¦ anything. My parents started taking my two sons to pick out Motherās Day and birthday gifts for me because I was mortified by the example their father was setting for them.
He once told me I could no longer come to a family gathering and instead I needed to stay home and clean, because he was angry at me. I had an incredibly isolating childhood and isolation was used as a means of punishment so this sent me into a spiralā¦ Apparently he showed up with our kids to said family gathering and happily told everyone there that I had to stay home to cleanā¦
We own a home with 3 bathrooms. He never cleaned a bathroom in 6.5 years living together. He never did a load of dishes, or wiped down counters, or swept and mopped floorsā¦ or anything. The only chore he will ever do in his life is laundry.
I could go on :-)
I hope you never allow anyone to make you feel less than amazing EVER AGAIN. I hate that it took that many years of all kinds of abuse for him to become an ex. I also understand it. I donāt know you but Iām proud of you! Keep it up.
Oh gosh, there are so many. She cheated on me, she broke up with me once because she wanted to fuck around, came back swearing she made a mistake, that I was the only one for her, that now she was sure about us and after I forgave her she waited 7 months more for me to get comfortable again to break up with me again saying she actually wasn't sure it was a good idea to get back togheter (if she ever told me about her doubts I would have NEVER got her back in the first place). 2 weeks before breaking up the second times she told me how much she loves me, that I was the one, that she couldn't wait to be my happy ever after. And after just two weeks she broke up with me she was already with a new person (probably she started dating this person while staying with me).
There are also many other abuses I can tell about, but to summarize I can say she gave me so many trust issues I don't even know if I will be able to trust a new person coming in my life ever again, and I will never forgive her for this.
100% a narcissist but I was quite inexperienced in relationships so didnāt know the red flags. I finally managed to break free when enough was enough as he cheated on me with a hooker, with MY money. Oh man, I wish I can rewind time and never ever ever, get involved with him
She choked me. Screaming in my face how she hated me and wanted me to die.
Years later she said āwell I was drunk and I wouldnāt have done that if you werenāt so annoying.ā
We ended up married, now divorcing.
She called me "Embarrassing to be with"
Told me "You don't need anyone else, you have me"
Tore into me for the same things she wanted.
Isolated me from my friends.
And yet I loved her, completely unconditionally.
The list is endless but to summarize, the worst thing he did was to have turned everything on said list into something that changed me for the worst by bringing out the worst of the worst in me. I became someone who was not at all who I am as a person.
Had a new relationship 3 weeks after we broke up. Thinking they were talking towards the end of us. Claimed I was the best thing to happen to her and gave me false āwe should work on ourselvesā and āmaybe if the time is right weāll find our way back to each other.ā
Yeah this all happened to me too. "It's so hard because you're so amazing but I really need time by myself with my son" 3 weeks later posts FB update with her son and new boyfriend...
I told her 5 times (i know im embarrassed) that i felt unhappy with the way she treated me and what would fix it and when i ended (big time gap too embarrassed to say how big) it i told here that i was unhappy by the way she treated me and that i didn't deserve that then she had the AUDACITY to say "why didn't you tell me sooner"š
Gained a new āfriendshipā and forgot about me.. I know it sounds corny but she was acting ashamed to tell this friend she was with me (weāre gay), didnāt want me to meet her, bought her gifts constantly, hung out constantly, and lied about hanging out. This made me feel forgotten and like she didnāt care that this new āfriendshipā made me so uncomfortable.. we stopped going on dates and when we did, I felt like it was a chore for her and that sheād rather be hanging with her āfriendā.. Mind you, Iām not the kind of person to tell my partner who they can and cannot be friends with.. but she showed me that that didnāt matter anyway.. she emotionally cheated on me.. which to me is worse than physically cheating.. and I broke up with her.. I do understand though, our relationship has not been the greatest over the past 5 years.. we couldāve broken up on multiple occasions.. and even though I understand, it doesnāt mean itās justified.. I know it sounds a bit stupid but I feel like weāre meant to be together in a way.. idk.. Iām just hoping I can vent enough to where I accept the breakup for what it is and move on with my life..
Manipulated me every day, gaslighted me, assaulted me a handful of times, started drinking (a lot) and with it came lying and using my money, the fact that every day I had to listen to his psychotic banter making me feel insane, and I think my fave was when he was driving my car and I was in passenger and we were arguing, and he started driving like in Fast and Furious or something and it was in the winter so the road was slippery and he crashed the car with us inside. Also the handful of other times he started driving recklessly with my car when we argued... oh and the fact that if I denied him -anything- he would make sure my day was hellish by mentally torturing me in any way... Sure I forgot something but idk
after we were talking about what went wrong in our relationship after we broke up, (my ex lovebombed me btw) we were talking and he says āidek if it was love at this point.ā my heart sunk.
stonewalling me whenever he was mad at me/concerned about something and ignoring me at functions to just reach out to me when he wanted to go home and have sex :)
After we broke up , we were still living together in the same apartment for 2 weeks and he brought a girl over and slept with her on our bed. And then he said I am bad in bed. Also now he threatened to slap me if I say bad things about him.
Made me think everything was going great, introduced me to her parents, her parents invited me to come to their home for Xmas as well.
Then she blindsided me, a few weeks before Christmas.
She had big communication issues, which always held me back from expressing myself even more
one time she got mad at me for wanting to leave her family's home early in the AM the day after thanksgiving rather than in the afternoon because her family had a whole day of activities planned (which I wasn't aware of) and me leaving would interrupt the plans because someone would have to drive me to to the train. basically we were drinking coffee and i said i wanted to head back to check on my cats and she stormed off and locked me out of her bedroom.
i told her i would uber to the train station and then she got even madder and basically said i was a bad guest and that her family would never let me stay again and that I "lost their trust."
she said I treated her like a "chauffeur" and then on the whole 1 hour drive to the train station yelled at me and was upset that I was not crying. i wasn't crying because i was simply shocked and kinda scared at what was happening. she was yelling so loudly and saying really mean things it was a lot.
oh yea and by the way this was during covid so i had gone through a lot of work for her parents to let me stay at her house for thanksgiving, including missing work to get tested 3 times and paying $100 to uber to their house from the city so it was "safe" as opposed to a train.
i eventually forgave her (we are not broken up) but i just is this normal behavior i feel like it cannot be. it was just such a small thing (leaving like 3 hours earlier) that caused some sort of horrendous reaction.
Asked me to move to his hometown, all while cheating with a fake tinder & trying to meet up with girls from insta. He'd lie about my suspicions and gaslight me. He kept saying he wanted to marry me (dodged a bullet). He would randomly pop up every few months after the breakup....really impacted me
Broke up with me saying her mental issues were the reason due to past trauma (never disclosed with me over 2.5 years), I hugged her and said I will always be there for her. Turns out she left to be with someone else who was orbiting for the entire relationship, when I found out and asked for answers she said leave me alone I am finally happy now.
He broke up which me over text, then two years later he asked to get back together I mistakenly said yes. he got me pregnant. Then he cheated on me got an other girl pregnant. He later proceeded to kill my child. He ran away and I have not heard from him. Yes, we did try to send him to jail for murder. We did not know where he went he is gone know and this all happened 10 years and 7 months ago.
My first love dumped me almsot 5 and a half months ago and blocked me on everything. 4 years down the drain. We were high school sweethearts too. She threw everything away just like that. Tried so hard to put something together that wasn't there anymore
She lie, she dumped with a simple i dont want anymore as i was a toy. Btold she didnt want to speak anymore and then sending me stuff on IG and whatsapp
Tell me I needed to spend more time with her and go on dates then proceed to fill her schedule for the next 2 months (until we broke up, which I had to initiate) with her "friends"
She went out dating 2 weeks after she ended our almost 10 year relationship, I'll never forget this particular moment, it was like it all just hit me , was like a knife getting rammed straight through my heart. Like I was in shockk trying to take it all in and this. I never thought I could feel so bad.
6 months on and I'm finally over it all.
Continued having sex with me two days prior to breaking up with me all while telling me he was happy, wanted to start looking into places to move into together, and was looking forward to the future.
Told me he loved me in the morning and said
ānever forget sillyā
then in the evening he broke up with me over text after making a joke about breaking up with me then saying ānot a joke, just prepping you lolā
After we broke up, we were still working on things over the next two years with the intentions of getting back together.
Until she lied to my face. About something I already knew the truth about. When I cornered her about the topic, to see if she could tell me the truth. She probably knew that I knew the truth, but she STILL lied. And I realized that there were probably MANY things she lied about over the years that I believed, and wasted an extra 2 years of my life with her holding a carrot on stick in front of me, making me believe we were working to get back together, when in reality she was lying the entire time, and I was just her Plan B contingency plan.
Existed
That part
Exactly š
Broke up via text, blindsided after 6+ years, offered no real reason.
Feel your pain there. Same thing here. Hurts like a MF. Hope your healing.
Ugh sorry youāre going through it too. It really does hurt like nothing else. Working my ass off to heal and it gets a little better almost every day. Hope you are getting there as well.
Itās a slow process. Some days wave hits me but getting there. Time is the best to put distance between me and the event. Working. Going to gym. The usual. Best of luck to you in your journey. We will get there !!!
Ouch
Yeah.
Hugs
Thank you. Hugs to you too.
Intentionally withheld love from me which made me feel like a worthless piece of shit.
Thatās so messed up. Iām sorry. :(
This! Exactly this right here!
OMG my ex wife used to do this to me all the time. She would stop talking to me for days, even weeks.
Monkeybranched during the last 3 months of our 8 year relationship by cheating with a coworker, before telling me that she was already falling out of love in August then breaking up with me after 3 weeks. She tried to reconcile in September but I refused as I felt hurt that she wasn't able to choose me when I asked her end of August. When I went to see her October, she was already seeing the guy she cheated on me with
wasting my time for 5 years
Cheated on me for almost the entire relationship, was with another dude who to be fair didn't know about me, then basically gaslit me, threatened me with suicide and things like that, all around a terrible person. Oh she was also engaged to the other guy.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah it's not a nice situation at all, she cheated on me like that knowing full well I'd been cheated on in the past and all that, still I sometimes get the urge to reach out, it's only been a few weeks, but I fight it because honestly fuck her lol
Lie. That's one thing I told him fucks with me mentally bc of my last relationship. I told him how much I valued honesty no matter what it was. He still lied and it hurt me deeply.
Activated a trauma response from my past a day after i told her how it is activated and what the response is. We were in the car and her and her friend thought it was comical. I hardly spoke the rest of the day... Good riddance!
The whole last two weeks together. She led me into a false sense of security thinking everything was OK after a big fight. She us d those two weeks to break up with me in her head.
Mine cheated on me several times. The first time i found out (or rather the first person i found out about) was the same week i found out i was pregnant. I did not go through with the pregnancy. He then told me about another person and then i found out about another who he was seeing throughout our whole entire relationship (2 years at that point). Great guy
Ugh that is beyond terrible. So sorry you had to go through all of that. I hope you are healing and happier!
God, there are so many. 8 years together and 2 kids, and never made me a birthday/Christmas/mothers day card, got me a gift, wished me a good day, acknowledged itā¦ anything. My parents started taking my two sons to pick out Motherās Day and birthday gifts for me because I was mortified by the example their father was setting for them. He once told me I could no longer come to a family gathering and instead I needed to stay home and clean, because he was angry at me. I had an incredibly isolating childhood and isolation was used as a means of punishment so this sent me into a spiralā¦ Apparently he showed up with our kids to said family gathering and happily told everyone there that I had to stay home to cleanā¦ We own a home with 3 bathrooms. He never cleaned a bathroom in 6.5 years living together. He never did a load of dishes, or wiped down counters, or swept and mopped floorsā¦ or anything. The only chore he will ever do in his life is laundry. I could go on :-)
I hope you never allow anyone to make you feel less than amazing EVER AGAIN. I hate that it took that many years of all kinds of abuse for him to become an ex. I also understand it. I donāt know you but Iām proud of you! Keep it up.
Threatened to leave me "in a wheelchair" and to doxx me to my employer.
Oh gosh, there are so many. She cheated on me, she broke up with me once because she wanted to fuck around, came back swearing she made a mistake, that I was the only one for her, that now she was sure about us and after I forgave her she waited 7 months more for me to get comfortable again to break up with me again saying she actually wasn't sure it was a good idea to get back togheter (if she ever told me about her doubts I would have NEVER got her back in the first place). 2 weeks before breaking up the second times she told me how much she loves me, that I was the one, that she couldn't wait to be my happy ever after. And after just two weeks she broke up with me she was already with a new person (probably she started dating this person while staying with me). There are also many other abuses I can tell about, but to summarize I can say she gave me so many trust issues I don't even know if I will be able to trust a new person coming in my life ever again, and I will never forgive her for this.
Gave me herpes and said I had to stay with him because no one else will want me
Jesus fucking Christ, what are these people. I'm so, so, so sorry this happened to you
100% a narcissist but I was quite inexperienced in relationships so didnāt know the red flags. I finally managed to break free when enough was enough as he cheated on me with a hooker, with MY money. Oh man, I wish I can rewind time and never ever ever, get involved with him
She choked me. Screaming in my face how she hated me and wanted me to die. Years later she said āwell I was drunk and I wouldnāt have done that if you werenāt so annoying.ā We ended up married, now divorcing.
Holy cannoli
He threatened to hit me and never apologized š„°ā¤ļø
Traumatized me to the point where I constantly crave a relationship but am afraid of women at the same time.
I feel ya bro. Even to this day I long for intimacy but Iām so scared that the next women Iām with will be a repeat of her.
Kept promising me he would change but never did. Ultimately making me the one to initiate the breakup.
She called me "Embarrassing to be with" Told me "You don't need anyone else, you have me" Tore into me for the same things she wanted. Isolated me from my friends. And yet I loved her, completely unconditionally.
Poured bleach over all my clothes
The list is endless but to summarize, the worst thing he did was to have turned everything on said list into something that changed me for the worst by bringing out the worst of the worst in me. I became someone who was not at all who I am as a person.
my 2 exes were pwbpd, should i add something?..
No elaboration necessary, I'm so sorry for what you must have been through
your comment has been downvoted,guess who could be.. here take my upvote :)
Ouch I have that. š we arenāt all bad
Got drunk and short tempered with me on my college graduation night. Yeahā¦ really memorable.
Had a new relationship 3 weeks after we broke up. Thinking they were talking towards the end of us. Claimed I was the best thing to happen to her and gave me false āwe should work on ourselvesā and āmaybe if the time is right weāll find our way back to each other.ā
Yeah this all happened to me too. "It's so hard because you're so amazing but I really need time by myself with my son" 3 weeks later posts FB update with her son and new boyfriend...
Deciding to take revenge several months after the breakup by turning a couple of friends against me
I told her 5 times (i know im embarrassed) that i felt unhappy with the way she treated me and what would fix it and when i ended (big time gap too embarrassed to say how big) it i told here that i was unhappy by the way she treated me and that i didn't deserve that then she had the AUDACITY to say "why didn't you tell me sooner"š
Cheated and stopped me seeing my beautiful children.
Gained a new āfriendshipā and forgot about me.. I know it sounds corny but she was acting ashamed to tell this friend she was with me (weāre gay), didnāt want me to meet her, bought her gifts constantly, hung out constantly, and lied about hanging out. This made me feel forgotten and like she didnāt care that this new āfriendshipā made me so uncomfortable.. we stopped going on dates and when we did, I felt like it was a chore for her and that sheād rather be hanging with her āfriendā.. Mind you, Iām not the kind of person to tell my partner who they can and cannot be friends with.. but she showed me that that didnāt matter anyway.. she emotionally cheated on me.. which to me is worse than physically cheating.. and I broke up with her.. I do understand though, our relationship has not been the greatest over the past 5 years.. we couldāve broken up on multiple occasions.. and even though I understand, it doesnāt mean itās justified.. I know it sounds a bit stupid but I feel like weāre meant to be together in a way.. idk.. Iām just hoping I can vent enough to where I accept the breakup for what it is and move on with my life..
Manipulated me every day, gaslighted me, assaulted me a handful of times, started drinking (a lot) and with it came lying and using my money, the fact that every day I had to listen to his psychotic banter making me feel insane, and I think my fave was when he was driving my car and I was in passenger and we were arguing, and he started driving like in Fast and Furious or something and it was in the winter so the road was slippery and he crashed the car with us inside. Also the handful of other times he started driving recklessly with my car when we argued... oh and the fact that if I denied him -anything- he would make sure my day was hellish by mentally torturing me in any way... Sure I forgot something but idk
after we were talking about what went wrong in our relationship after we broke up, (my ex lovebombed me btw) we were talking and he says āidek if it was love at this point.ā my heart sunk.
stonewalling me whenever he was mad at me/concerned about something and ignoring me at functions to just reach out to me when he wanted to go home and have sex :)
cheating on me while i was away for med school is the worst thing he did to me
After we broke up , we were still living together in the same apartment for 2 weeks and he brought a girl over and slept with her on our bed. And then he said I am bad in bed. Also now he threatened to slap me if I say bad things about him.
Made me think everything was going great, introduced me to her parents, her parents invited me to come to their home for Xmas as well. Then she blindsided me, a few weeks before Christmas. She had big communication issues, which always held me back from expressing myself even more
Put his hands on me š
one time she got mad at me for wanting to leave her family's home early in the AM the day after thanksgiving rather than in the afternoon because her family had a whole day of activities planned (which I wasn't aware of) and me leaving would interrupt the plans because someone would have to drive me to to the train. basically we were drinking coffee and i said i wanted to head back to check on my cats and she stormed off and locked me out of her bedroom. i told her i would uber to the train station and then she got even madder and basically said i was a bad guest and that her family would never let me stay again and that I "lost their trust." she said I treated her like a "chauffeur" and then on the whole 1 hour drive to the train station yelled at me and was upset that I was not crying. i wasn't crying because i was simply shocked and kinda scared at what was happening. she was yelling so loudly and saying really mean things it was a lot. oh yea and by the way this was during covid so i had gone through a lot of work for her parents to let me stay at her house for thanksgiving, including missing work to get tested 3 times and paying $100 to uber to their house from the city so it was "safe" as opposed to a train. i eventually forgave her (we are not broken up) but i just is this normal behavior i feel like it cannot be. it was just such a small thing (leaving like 3 hours earlier) that caused some sort of horrendous reaction.
Asked me to move to his hometown, all while cheating with a fake tinder & trying to meet up with girls from insta. He'd lie about my suspicions and gaslight me. He kept saying he wanted to marry me (dodged a bullet). He would randomly pop up every few months after the breakup....really impacted me
Leave me stranded 300 miles away from home
Broke up with me saying her mental issues were the reason due to past trauma (never disclosed with me over 2.5 years), I hugged her and said I will always be there for her. Turns out she left to be with someone else who was orbiting for the entire relationship, when I found out and asked for answers she said leave me alone I am finally happy now.
Ghost me
He broke up which me over text, then two years later he asked to get back together I mistakenly said yes. he got me pregnant. Then he cheated on me got an other girl pregnant. He later proceeded to kill my child. He ran away and I have not heard from him. Yes, we did try to send him to jail for murder. We did not know where he went he is gone know and this all happened 10 years and 7 months ago.
Masturbate to photos of girls he used to date our entire relationship
Lead me on a year after we broke up but Im still an idiot for letting it happen.
My first love dumped me almsot 5 and a half months ago and blocked me on everything. 4 years down the drain. We were high school sweethearts too. She threw everything away just like that. Tried so hard to put something together that wasn't there anymore
Treated me like an object, and then started cheating when I tried advocating for myself.
Cheat even though days prior said she didnāt find the guy attractive
She lie, she dumped with a simple i dont want anymore as i was a toy. Btold she didnt want to speak anymore and then sending me stuff on IG and whatsapp
Crashed my Mustang and got mad at me because I got mad
Tell me I needed to spend more time with her and go on dates then proceed to fill her schedule for the next 2 months (until we broke up, which I had to initiate) with her "friends"
She went out dating 2 weeks after she ended our almost 10 year relationship, I'll never forget this particular moment, it was like it all just hit me , was like a knife getting rammed straight through my heart. Like I was in shockk trying to take it all in and this. I never thought I could feel so bad. 6 months on and I'm finally over it all.
Stopped trying
Brought me to his country and after 3 months said that never really loved me. After not even a week started to talk with another one
Continued having sex with me two days prior to breaking up with me all while telling me he was happy, wanted to start looking into places to move into together, and was looking forward to the future.
Told me he loved me in the morning and said ānever forget sillyā then in the evening he broke up with me over text after making a joke about breaking up with me then saying ānot a joke, just prepping you lolā
After we broke up, we were still working on things over the next two years with the intentions of getting back together. Until she lied to my face. About something I already knew the truth about. When I cornered her about the topic, to see if she could tell me the truth. She probably knew that I knew the truth, but she STILL lied. And I realized that there were probably MANY things she lied about over the years that I believed, and wasted an extra 2 years of my life with her holding a carrot on stick in front of me, making me believe we were working to get back together, when in reality she was lying the entire time, and I was just her Plan B contingency plan.