T O P

What do you talk to your partner everyday?

I'm going through a period where I feel burned out a lot and I am concerned that I cannot keep things interesting for anyone I'd be in a relationship with. It's not like life changes everyday like when younger. I wonder if this is only my concern or is it normal.

pecanorchard

Since waking up today, we talked about the dream I had, a few reddit posts we looked at together, a daily geography game we play against each other, what we ate for breakfast, his pineapple cutting skills, a nice bird in the yard, my workload for the day, and what he needs to buy at the grocery store later. I don't think either of us feel pressure to be too interesting with each other after 12 years, we just keep each other company.


Deny_Everything_21

Ooh, tell me more about the geography game!


pecanorchard

It's called Worldle! It's like Wordle where you get six guesses, but It's a country or territory outline rather than a word. We each play every morning and compare scores. He won today, which was devastating, haha.


mexibella255

Does the winner get bragging rights and a title change? That could be interesting 😂


pecanorchard

We're both deeply insufferable with bragging rights when we win. It's not a title change each time though, we informally keep track of who wins the most each week


danarexasaurus

My husband and I played for a long time against each tiger. We got surprisingly good we geography


squidgemobile

Globle is a good one too if you like geography. There are a few flag-based ones too.


kellephant

Stop it! My geography know how could use some work for sure!


tea_drinker_0987

Everything, anything, and nothing at all.


[deleted]

Also the cats. The biggest news today is Mowgli tried to stretch while still being curled up and looked like a sponge soaking up air.


One-Armed-Krycek

Saaame. Mr. Butters climbed the signed, framed painting by a local artist and broke it. Consensus: Mr. Butters is not a sweet baby cat today, but a rotten ginger.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Honestly, yeah. We both are introverted and cats are good conversation pieces. A landscaper is starting work on the house and I was WFH today so dealt with him. I an garuntee my SO and I will still be talking about the cats and not the landscaper. Probably about how they followed him round the windows and are very curious to see what he is doing. Him? The garden? Nah.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Oh I dont speak for them, they have their own voices for that. Haha. But yeah completely normal.


Hatcheling

I'm northern Scandinavian - a famously quiet folk, so I appreciate men that don't talk just for the sake of filling the air. So I chose a man who isn't a chatterbox. We both work from home, share an office, so obviously we talk about stuff, but we both value silence a lot and don't really feel pressure to talk "in vain". What we've talked about today: how fucking tired we are (toddler parents), how shit the lunch place we chose was, how we're going to help his mum move, a mini holiday we're going on, traffic rules (I'm studying to get my driver's license) and just stuff about our kid in general.


Crystal_Dawn

Canadian here but famously bothered by small talk. This sounds perfect. FWIW we talk about the never ending barrage of sickness the children seem to be getting (and giving.) We talk about an upcoming move if there is new info. About an upcoming event, work stress (to a point) and general day to day stuff. We don't fill the void with noise. Though I know plenty of people who do, and I love them but it seriously drains me lol.


Lexifer31

How was your day, look at this funny video/cute picture. Lol. We don't do deep convos often. Sometimes we barely talk. I'll watch TV while he plays games.


procione-1090

Somehow this makes me feel better. I don't talk a lot in general and if it is just a normal day I don't always summon topics... though I have interests in general and shared too


Lexifer31

Great thing about relationships is you don't have to be "on". You just coexist comfortably.


SnooGuavas2849

It‘s true that life doesn‘t change that fast anymore, so my partner and I talk more about abstract ideas and things we‘ve read. It‘s still important to try and make experiences though - and be it by reading - otherwise life can really become boring ( i assume)


Perfect_Judge

Literally everything and sometimes, nothing. There doesn't have to be anything particularly exciting to chat about. Life is what it is and there are lulls. It's ok. My husband is also an introvert and doesn't feel the need to always talk and have there be silence filled. Some people are more than ok with that.


[deleted]

In regard to the "burn out," I can anecdotally say that the time of my life that I found it the most difficult to socially connect with my partner was when I was feeling the most burned out in my workplace. I'd come home from work and he'd be ready to discuss all sorts of topics, world events included, and I'd feel like I simply didn't have the energy to engage. Not saying this is your situation, but just figured I'd throw that out there if you find that to be true for yourself as well. It took a pretty big shift in my work life for me to feel like I got my conversational spark back.


procione-1090

This is completely my situation. Thank you so much. I feel like something is off and I have less to give socially


Rhamona_Q

My husband and I have been together for 28 years, and knew each other for 8 years before that. We've known each other most of our lives. So we have a lot of shorthand in our everyday conversations. Which can also be fun because I can just say "mango is good for you" and he knows exactly what event I'm referencing, and how that relates to our current conversation. Our daughter calls these type of things "vintage family memes". But yeah, mostly we just talk about what's going on that day, what new news we have about stuff, reminding each other to adult about something or another, just normal stuff. Randomly something will trigger an animated conversation, or a deep discussion that we maybe hadn't planned on having at that particular moment but we're both here and it's important so let's do this. The important part being communication lines are always open, whether it's about fears for the future, or what's for dinner.


crospingtonfrotz

[We have so much in common, we both love soup and snow peas, we love the outdoors, and talking and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3uAh-opNpDg)


practical_junket

God this movie is so good. I haven’t thought about it in a while and this gave me a great chuckle. Jennifer Coolidge is such a gem! PS: God loves a terrier.


GETitOFFmeNOW

My best friend just said this post-script to me Sunday. Bow-wow!!


flufflypuppies

I don’t think my life is super interesting too! But with my partner, we talk about how our day / work is going, and most of the time we’re just bantering or telling each other how much we love and support and appreciate each other (we’re also only 6 months in so maybe in the honeymoon period haha) When we’re together, we’ve started doing some common activities, like finishing Netflix shows, starting new games together and reading books together. So it gives us a lot in common to talk about!


garbage_gemlin

my partner and I have been together for 4.5 years and lived together for 2. We usually just talk about whatever is on our minds, which is usually admin stuff related to our home, finances or other plans, stuff we see on the internet, something interesting we heard on a podcast, something one of our friends or family members just told us, or any emotions we are feeling. sometimes we just say silly things to eachother. and we certainly aren't talking 24/7 (we both need quiet time!). For example yesterday my partner walked into my office and started going over his new workout routine. I walked in to his office this morning just to talk about my finances and where i want my money to go over the next year or so. then later he walks in to talk about trump getting arrested and to ask how i feel about that.


orangeautumntrees

I talk to him about food, what game he's playing, how his day at work was and if anything interesting happened, he asks me how my pain levels are and if I was able to do anything fun that day, and we talk a lot about what we want to do to improve our living space and our cat. We also discuss international politics and philosophy a lot. It just depends on the day! There's a lot more to talk about on days we go out and do stuff together.


thr0ughtheghost

I love watching random documentaries or those random 2am questions lol I often, am like "so, this is random, but I recently watched a documentary about (insert topic here)" and then he usually is like "oh, was it good?" and blah blah. We are both gamers so I like to talk about new games or things going on in the gaming world. These are just some of the random subjects I bring up lol.


Emptyplates

We talk about anything and everything. Sometimes we don't talk about anything. Being quiet is okay too. 🤷‍♀️


TXRedbo

We both work from home so our convos go like this throughout our day: dog, quality of our sleep, dog, annoying work thing, dog, latest crypto thing, an annoying work meeting, dog, my steps goal, lunch/food, dog, annoying work thing, crypto, dog, the beautiful weather and being glad to live where we do, upcoming travel, dog, dinner debate, tv show theories, dog meds and dishes debate, planning for the weekend, friends updates, dog, sleepy melatonin-induced nonsense. As you can tell, most of our convos are not deep. We do have those types of conversations but they can be exhausting on a daily basis lol. We’re also both introverts so we don’t talk all the time. I’ll read and he’ll watch tv or browse on his phone.


m0nstera_deliciosa

We just… talk at each other, I guess? Sometimes what she’s saying doesn’t excite me, and I can only guess she isn’t totally jazzed to hear how much I like my new shampoo, but we’re both so into each other we’re ready to smile and nod at what the other person wants to say. I think she’s really cute when she gets riled up, so even when I don’t give a flying fuck about the video game she’s telling me about, I still ask questions to keep the conversation going. She does the same thing about whatever news article I can’t stop blathering about. Sometimes we watch movies together and spend days talking about what we thought about the movie. It’s really nice having someone to be emotionally vulnerable with, because I feel like there’s nothing I could say that she wouldn’t be receptive to. I’ve never had this with a regular friend; I think I just got lucky and met someone I wanted to be best friends and partners with.


[deleted]

My husband is the only person with whom talking recharges my batteries. I don't feel like I need to be anything other than myself to keep his attention, which is an important part of the dynamic. Sometimes he's gonna feel the need to talk about abstract philosophical ideas and that's harder for me because I'm much more practical and pragmatic, but if I don't have the energy to engage in that kind of discussion, he has friends he can call to get that need met.


[deleted]

If I don’t have anything I want to say but I still want to engage with him, I’ll use body language: hugs, kisses, punches (the fun kind), etc.


[deleted]

My partner and I are long distance so we basically can only hang out by talking, playing games, watching TV and we both get burnt out on these. Recently I had a lot going on in my head and was just on the verge of a social meltdown. I’d tell him we should do “independent study” and he’d do something solo and I’d do something solo and basically sit on the call together in silence. I kept apologizing for not having anything to say at first but he said “It’s nice to enjoy the silence, too” :) I think your person might feel the burnout too sometimes and that’s okay and normal: you’re your own people and you won’t always be in the same headspace/energy. Letting them know where you’re at is a great step. Him letting me take what I need while still just being around and mot trying to fix it is stronger than an I love you in my book. Even if we weren’t on a call- it was so nice to have personal space and not be punished for it, and sometimes it’s him in the quiet/withdrawn boat, so I don’t mind letting him take what he needs either.


Illustrious_Glove_18

How are work days went, something I saw on the news, upcoming plans for the weekend. At the moment we are planning a wedding but I try to limit talk on that.


danarexasaurus

We talked about colors for a solid hour the other day. Basically talking about invention of new colors (chemical or whatever) and whether those would have already corresponding hex codes close enough to match. I dunno. We just talk about random stuff. Sometimes we sit quietly together on our phones. We are both home all day together so not a lot happens that doesn’t include both of us. We talk about our toddler A LOT.


aStonedTargaryen

The cats, inside jokes, other people in our lives, challenges and triumphs, work, or often we don’t talk at all. Sometimes there is just nothing to say and we are both super comfy with that. It’s one of the many things I’m grateful for in our relationship. Comfortable silence. It’s honestly so rare in any relationship, romantic or otherwise, and to me it signifies how deep our bond truly is.


bluefiretoast

Usually small bits and pieces of our day, and whatever we're into at the moment. Definitely the cats. Chores and who will cook dinner and what we want to eat. Little bits of media we consumed, like highlights from Reddit (we follow different subs), books we'd read, or social media gossip about friends (he doesn't facebook).


somewhenimpossible

We have stock responses when we’re both tired. How was your day. Good. Yours? Didn’t do much. Is there anything I can get you for work? No, I have to pack my lunch. Want me to make mini pizzas for your lunch? Nah. I had them last night it won’t take long. I’ll take leftovers from the fridge, just relax; you just got off work. I still have some energy. Did you feed the dog? Not yet. I’ll get (kid) some supper. Any plans tonight? Parent teacher conference. Text me and tell me how it went. Couldn’t get the time off? Nah, they put me on a bad post tonight so it would look bad if I called off. That’s fine, it’s probably not a big deal. Ok I’m done packing my lunch. Be safe. See you in the morning [exit stage left] Those are all the words we exchanged today. He’ll be home in the morning around 7, and I leave at 730. Usually we say good morning and then he says he’s tired, have a nice day, and goes to bed.


sandithepirate

We talk about current events, video games, plot holes in our favorite shows, food, vacations we plan to take eventually. I'll talk about crazy shit in my workday. We tell a lot of jokes, and talk shit. We have fun. Lol


ladylemondrop209

Work Memes Personal news (family/friends) Local/global news...


nattie_bee

We discussed our pets (how crusty they look, what they did today lol, if I needed to feed them), our days (I work from home and he doesn’t), meal planning, we went to an event thing and we discussed how poorly it was run, our lunch plans for tomorrow, gaming, our excitement for our lunch date on Thursday, a money thing, and I think that’s it. It depends on the day honestly. Some days one or both of us are extremely chatty. But on others, that list could be cut in half and we’re just… together.


LtnSkyRockets

Random things. Things that happened in our days. Things we'd like to do. Sometimes we don't talk. I've been with my partner now for 12yrs. We have the same interests. We work in the same industry. But it's not boring to have a conversation with my partner- even if it's Things we discussed before. I personally enjoy the company, I'm not so focused on every conversation we have needing to be some incredibly interesting or deep thing.